1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,798 Hello, everybody. 3 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,834 How are you? How are you? 4 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,537 Thank you. Good to see you. Thank you for coming. 5 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,778 Cold out there! 6 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,213 That is cold. 7 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,283 Hello, everybody! 8 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,386 Hello! 9 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:30,057 Hello. Welcome to The Grand Tour. Happy Christmas. 10 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,692 This week, we are coming - 11 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:35,229 if you can see through the drizzle dribbling down the windows - 12 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,664 from Scandinavia. 13 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,868 Oh, yeah. 14 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,236 This, of course... 15 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:45,639 This, of course, is the home of those gloomy dramas 16 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,642 where a weird woman in a jumper solves a murder 17 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:51,579 by staring at a lake for six hours. 18 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,848 This will probably be the jolliest programme 19 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,218 to come out of this neck of the woods since... 20 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,619 ... Four Funerals And A Funeral . 21 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,020 - Yeah. 22 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:02,423 Swedish rom-com that was. Erm... 23 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,325 When Harry Shot Sally . 24 00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:05,693 Oh, a laugh a minute. 25 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:08,196 The Girl With The Pearl Necklace. No. 26 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:12,800 -That's another sort of Scandinavian film. -Really? 27 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,268 Yeah. 28 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,306 Anyway, specifically, 29 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:22,075 we are deep inside the Arctic Circle in Finland. 30 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:27,481 There you go. And Finland, of course... 31 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:33,354 Finland, of course, is home to every single racing driver currently... 32 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,955 -What? -What, all of them? 33 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:39,092 Well, apart from Nico Rosberg, who is Finnish, 34 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,529 but, for some reason, claims he's German. 35 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,234 Why does he do that? I have no idea. 36 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,468 Who else is there, then? 37 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,736 Well, there's Mika Salo, 38 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,538 Mika Häkkinen, Kimi Räikkönen. 39 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,274 Hang on, they're just anagrams of the same name, aren't they? 40 00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,276 Then you've got rallying. 41 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,611 There's Tommi Mäkinen, Timo Mäkinen, 42 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,080 Juha Kankkunen, Ari Vatanen. 43 00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:01,649 More anagrams. 44 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,618 Kinky Wankinen. 45 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,956 Manky Pantiden. 46 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,591 Really? 47 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,760 I'm getting slightly carried away now. 48 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,028 Seriously, I went on Wikipedia last night 49 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,266 to look for famous Finns who aren't racing drivers. 50 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,600 Put up the list I found. 51 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,336 And I noticed something - they're all men. 52 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,372 All of them. 53 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,674 Are there any famous Finnish women? 54 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,176 Finnish people? 55 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:33,314 Nobody thinks so. They're all... 56 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,648 I know why, OK? 57 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,352 It's because all Finnish women, at the age of 19, 58 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,020 move to England to be au pairs. 59 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,658 I actually had three Finnish au pairs over the years for my children. 60 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,427 -Did you? -Yeah. It was always funny. 61 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:49,096 You'd go to Heathrow airport to pick up your new au pair, 62 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:53,200 and there'd always be a row of 30-something fathers waiting at the gate 63 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:56,337 for their Scandinavian au pair to come out. 64 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,807 And there was one year I've never forgotten. 65 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:03,511 This huge moose lumbered out of the door, 66 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:08,048 and the man next to me looked at his piece of paper and went, "Oh, for God's sake!" 67 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,353 That's not good. 68 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,959 -Shall we get on with the show? -Yes, good idea. 69 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:23,464 Because tonight in our television programme about cars... 70 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,433 I eat some cheddar. 71 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,937 Richard says he doesn't want any. 72 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,039 I don't want cheese. 73 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:37,611 And James compares a Ford GT40 to a Ferrari P3. 74 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,180 Avanti! 75 00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:43,050 But first, if you are watching this in America, 76 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,818 you may be amazed to hear 77 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:50,023 that the Ford Mustang has never been sold, officially, in the UK. 78 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,760 Well, until now, because Ford has now decided 79 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,863 that the latest Mustang will be sold in the UK 80 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:59,032 with a V8 engine and right-hand drive. 81 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:03,471 Mm, and this has made our other resident American very happy. 82 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,573 He was so excited, in fact, 83 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,275 that when the first right-hand-drive Mustang 84 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,277 arrived at the docks in the UK, 85 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,680 he was actually there to meet it. 86 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,404 It'll be here any minute. 87 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,317 That is it. Are we ready? 88 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:53,821 This is the moment. It's touched down! 89 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,822 Go, go, go! 90 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:05,165 Look, it's a bit gloomy, isn't it? 91 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:08,769 It's not very welcoming. Have you got anything more upbeat? 92 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,442 Forget it! Forget it! Forget it! 93 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,577 Forget it. 94 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,584 I'm so excited, my tinkle is fizzing. 95 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,759 Oh, yeah! 96 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,833 Oh. Sorry about that. 97 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,935 We really are useless over here. 98 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,972 It's one of the reasons we needed your help in the war. 99 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,877 I decided that, first of all, 100 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,179 I'd show the new Mustang around, 101 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,515 so I headed for London... 102 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,116 which is the capital city. 103 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,672 Ah, now, this is Tower Bridge. 104 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,742 Interesting. It's very, very old. 105 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,077 But it folds completely in half 106 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:27,047 so that, in the old days, the horses could go through. 107 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:33,253 Now, that's the Houses of Parliament, 108 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,757 which are a series of houses in which we keep all our idiots. 109 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:40,427 That clock thing, that's Big Ben. 110 00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:44,632 I know it's not what you call big, but... but we couldn't just call it Ben. 111 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,302 And that is the Cenotaph, 112 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:53,106 where we remember those who died fighting for us. 113 00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,544 Slowing down a bit here. 114 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,945 Show some respect. 115 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:03,751 No idea what that is. It wasn't here this morning. 116 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,355 A cyclist, you want to be careful of those. 117 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,691 Small but very angry creatures. 118 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,262 That's the army. 119 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,598 They're the ones who shot at your White House. 120 00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,899 Sorry about that. 121 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,636 Having seen all of the sights, 122 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,738 we headed out of town 123 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,574 so I could do this. 124 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,580 There it is. 125 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:36,817 That is the soundtrack that Britain has been missing for 51 years - 126 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:39,219 real American V8 muscle. 127 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,960 We just don't make cars like this on our side of the pond. 128 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,798 All that lazy-but-determined torque. 129 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:54,802 Squeeze the throttle in any gear at any speed... 130 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,337 ...and there's an inevitability to the way it moves off. 131 00:08:57,404 --> 00:09:00,608 It's like arm wrestling a solar system - you're gonna lose. 132 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,820 It is weird... 133 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,923 driving a Mustang from this side. 134 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,691 It's like suddenly changing your mind 135 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,794 after 50 years of marriage and sleeping on the other side of the bed. 136 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,132 It's also weird driving a car with a big V8, 137 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,267 reversing camera, air-conditioned seats, 138 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:32,105 rain-sensing wipers that you can buy for £37,000. 139 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:35,643 That's half of what you'd pay for a BMW M4. Half. 140 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,081 Once we were in the countryside proper, 141 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,651 I continued my sightseeing tour. 142 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,855 Look, I've drawn your badge on a hill. 143 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,163 Jeremy did that one. 144 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,735 Sorry. 145 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,074 Eventually, we arrived at Stonehenge. 146 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,345 That, you'll be amazed to learn, 147 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,381 is an ancient calendar. 148 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,418 Or a clock. Or a church. 149 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:23,156 My tour of Britain was then interrupted by an unwelcome arrival. 150 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,660 What are you doing here? 151 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,562 Well, I have come to remind you - 152 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,398 cos you've obviously forgotten, 153 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,866 cos you're too giddy - 154 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:36,003 that we have no need for the Mustang in Britain. 155 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,171 Because if you want to spend, 156 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:41,341 what, £30,000-£35,000 on a fast Ford, 157 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:44,878 you'd buy a Focus RS, cos that was designed for here. 158 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,514 No, you'd settle for that in the UK 159 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,317 because you couldn't buy this, but now you can. 160 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,719 That is the point. 161 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,721 Would you wear chaps? 162 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,923 No, because we have trousers. 163 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,958 What about cowboy... Oh, you are. Cowboy boots. 164 00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,693 Well, it's appropriate. I'm welcoming... 165 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,363 Listen, I don't want everything from America, I just want the Mustang. 166 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,597 -Stupid. -No, America-- 167 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,266 It wasn't designed for here. 168 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,736 -Would you wear a Stetson? -Well, no. 169 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,738 "It's cold out, I'll wear a Stetson." 170 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,639 No! You wear a bobble hat. 171 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,374 That's a bobble hat. 172 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,276 Oh! No, hang on. 173 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,412 -I've just realised. -What? 174 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,015 Erm... I-I don't want to talk to you any more. 175 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,769 Anyway... 176 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:45,405 Anyway, we shall pick that up later on. 177 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,975 But right now it's time to drop it a cog 178 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,779 and hook a left into Conversation Street. 179 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,791 -Serious. It's serious. -It is serious stuff, this. 180 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,360 Now, look, in Britain we are always being told 181 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,830 that the Scandinavians are brilliant at driving, 182 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:13,666 and that's because they would be, because they have to deal with all that snow. 183 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:17,805 Mm, they're brilliant because what they do most of all is crash. 184 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,672 Well, you're absolutely right, as it turns out, 185 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,542 cos I've got some interesting statistics here. Erm... 186 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:27,114 In Britain, 1.2% of accidents result in fatalities. 187 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,817 Here, I'm afraid, it's 5.1%. 188 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,819 Yeah, and it's not just the Finns, either, 189 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,821 if I may be so bold. 190 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,289 Our Senior International Producer - 191 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,825 that's his job title - 192 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,592 came over to Finland the other day, 193 00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,728 rented himself a BMW at the airport - 194 00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:44,064 not a Ford or an Opel, you'll note, a BMW - 195 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,366 and on his way to the location here, 196 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,700 this happened. 197 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,903 He did! He did! 198 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,272 When I say he's our Senior International Producer, 199 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,842 he's now our Junior International Producer. 200 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,477 -Our Junior Local Producer. -Yeah. 201 00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,247 Very local. Specifically, the stationery cupboard. 202 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,883 -He can produce that. -That's all he's in charge of. 203 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,852 How did he do that?! 204 00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:08,255 The thing is, what I don't understand is how the Finns manage to go fast enough 205 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,323 to have a crash of any sort at all, 206 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,593 because the speeding fines here are insane. 207 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,662 They're means tested, 208 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,530 which means a guy here recently 209 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:20,267 was caught doing 49mph through a 30 zone 210 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:25,105 and he was fined 112,000 euros. 211 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,040 That's a speeding fine! 212 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,009 Are they really that high in Finland? 213 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,978 They are? 214 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,345 A hundred and twelve... 215 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,746 112,000. 216 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:36,483 -Imagine getting that in the post! -Well, it's interesting. 217 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,419 Actually, there was a Finnish minister recently said 218 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,189 that the government needs those speeding fines 219 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,524 to balance the books, they said. 220 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,995 They actually said, "Speeding is good for the country." 221 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,363 That is actually what... 222 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,165 Because it is. Every country. 223 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:55,402 Right. We should adopt that. 224 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,271 -Speeding is good for you. -It's your social duty. 225 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,507 -A bit more conversation for you. -Oh, good! 226 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,677 I think, with the exception of Rolls-Royce, 227 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:08,748 Volvo now make the best car interiors of anybody. 228 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,385 They do. They're very, very good. 229 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,421 I don't like to, but I agree with you. 230 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:18,158 because I went in the new S90 the other day, and the interior is superb. 231 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,693 -We've got a picture of it here. -Yes, that one. 232 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,395 They use pale colours. 233 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,497 They've got pale-coloured seats, pale-coloured carpets, pale wood, 234 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,400 and that makes it feel light and airy and spacious. 235 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,137 The only problem is that in one of those 236 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:33,473 you couldn't enjoy a chocolate Magnum ice cream. 237 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,576 It's all right, I don't eat ice cream. 238 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,645 It's something to do with being straight. 239 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:42,950 What? What? 240 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,317 Why are you applauding him? 241 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,088 What do you mean? 242 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:50,457 Are you saying everyone who likes ice...? 243 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,625 Ice cream is a bit, you know.... 244 00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,028 You're saying all children are homosexual? 245 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,363 No, but... 246 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,165 There's nothing wrong with it, 247 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,101 but a grown man eating an ice cream, you know, it's a bit... 248 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,835 it's that way rather than that way. 249 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,171 It is... 250 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,007 Welcome to the inside of Richard Hammond's head. 251 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,109 I'm right. I can't believe you can't see that. 252 00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:10,510 It's easy. It's in front of you. 253 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,480 You could enjoy a 99 in there. 254 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,415 -You mean a 69? -No... 255 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,151 Ninety-nine. But you couldn't have the chocolate thingy. 256 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,453 -My case rests! -No, the chocolate thing! 257 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,522 -Exactly! -You know what I mean. 258 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,992 No, but if you had that Volvo, 259 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,393 you could have a white magnum... 260 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,161 - True. - ...or a Milky Bar. 261 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,797 Yeah, but not a Double Decker. 262 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,199 Well, a Flake is worse. 263 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,334 No, Double Decker's worse. 264 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:35,535 Double Decker... 265 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,704 Do you all know what I mean by the Double Decker? 266 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,873 It is unique among chocolate confectionery items. 267 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:42,775 Take a bite as you're driving along, 268 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,012 and a bit about this big, OK, 269 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,646 silently breaks away... 270 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,916 ...goes down between your legs 271 00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,751 and melts. 272 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,286 So when you get out, 273 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:56,123 everybody thinks you've had some kind of trouser accident. 274 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:59,559 This big brown stain right... 275 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,495 -I know what you mean. -It does happen. 276 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,131 A Flake is worse. 277 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,798 No, it just isn't! 278 00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,635 A Flake is advertised as "the crumbliest, flakiest chocolate". 279 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,504 -It is worse. -This is a hot topic on Conversation Street. 280 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,539 It is! 281 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,607 I think we should settle it here and now. 282 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,876 I'm going to go into our travelling box. 283 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,883 Our travelling box of chocolate confectionery, and I'm going to... 284 00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,852 Let's settle it with a competition, yes? 285 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,320 I'm gonna give you James's Flake 286 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,222 and you the Double Decker. 287 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:33,493 I'll turn that over, so then you'll see how much spills off as I eat the Flake. 288 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,562 -Not much. Right, ready? -This is scientific. 289 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,865 Here we go. Oh. Some of it's already crum... 290 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,368 This is cheating, this one. 291 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,103 OK, no, clear away the debris. 292 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,072 No, I need to... Jesus! 293 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:48,475 -That's part of eating it! -It isn't part of eating it! I haven't even begun. 294 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,477 -But you've got to unwrap it. -Ssh! 295 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,444 Cheat. 296 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,852 -What? -Jeremy, you know that advert? 297 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:02,089 Girl in... 298 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:06,126 Girl in the the field of poppies - we're not seeing that right now. 299 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,694 -I am. -I'm not. 300 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,995 Right, ready? Watch this. 301 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:11,098 He's going in. First bite. 302 00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,865 Oh, it's a big fall of chocolate! 303 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,135 Mm. - It's a heavy sprinkling, that. 304 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,204 That is just a light dusting of chocolate. 305 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,106 -A light dusting, yeah, OK. -Right, James May. 306 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:23,810 Moving over to James May and his Double Decker. This is exciting, isn't it? 307 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:27,314 -This is a great car programme. -Groundbreaking stuff, yeah. 308 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,582 -Quiet, please. -I can't believe... 309 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:33,019 - I can't believe this hasn't been done before. 310 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,122 He's going in. He's taking a bite. 311 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,991 His poor old gnash... His teeth! 312 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,393 Oh! 313 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:44,297 It's a catastrophic fall! The clear winner... 314 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:48,768 The Double Decker is worse than the Flake. 315 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:51,804 There's the Flake. There's the Double Decker. 316 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,541 So, there we are. Using science, we have now established... 317 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,977 ...if you've got a Volvo, don't have a Double Decker. 318 00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,312 Ever. 319 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,848 Or an ice cream, because he... Oh, no, forget it. 320 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,952 Let's move a little further along Conversation Street, shall we? 321 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,820 Erm... A few weeks ago, Amazon, 322 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:11,158 they ran an advert for our show, and we're rather pleased with it. 323 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,425 See, it's got everything in. 324 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,627 -Yeah, the sense of travel. -Logo. 325 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,063 -And there's even the goat. -Yeah, no, that's perfect. 326 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:21,000 -Everything you need there. -All you need for the advert. It's on the screen. 327 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,635 It's good, isn't it? 328 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:27,073 Yeah. All the essentials are there. Everything you need. 329 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,541 Everything you need to see. 330 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,779 Actually... 331 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:33,980 All the important stuff. 332 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,648 Hammond, I'm sorry to do this, 333 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,651 but before the show launched, Amazon did another advert, OK, 334 00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,654 which somebody sent to me on a tweet, which I screen grabbed, 335 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,591 so the quality's not good, but I have brought it along. 336 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,825 Here it is. 337 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:46,926 Oh, for God's sake! 338 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,436 I like their marketing department a lot. 339 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,271 I think that's enough Conversation Street, 340 00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,872 so let's get back to our film. 341 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:03,276 Yes. Earlier on, I was in the right-hand-drive Ford Mustang, 342 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,345 showing it the sights around our country. 343 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,214 Unfortunately, he turned up 344 00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:11,418 and tried to argue that the similarly priced Ford Focus was a better bet. 345 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:17,224 -Yeah, I did do that. -I responded by driving off and refusing to talk to you. 346 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,591 A bit rudely, I thought. 347 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,834 I'm sorry, this is my film, my tour of England, 348 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,437 and I didn't want him spoiling it. 349 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,243 This thing's bloody awesome. 350 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:39,812 Listen to that bellow. 351 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,014 This thing squats on its haunches. 352 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,651 This is what it's built to do. 353 00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:50,690 Every crackle, pop and bang is just connected to every synapse and sinew in me. 354 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,262 Oh, no. 355 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,703 This is like a first date for me, and on a first date, 356 00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:07,607 you don't want a fat, balding uncle tagging along. 357 00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:12,211 So what I'm gonna do now... is lose him. 358 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:19,218 It's Hammer Time! Shock and awe! 359 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,661 It's Bond versus Bourne. 360 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:40,307 He's got five litres. I've only got 2.3. 361 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:43,410 Is he going twice as fast? No, he is not. 362 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:51,651 Corner coming up. There's no need to panic any more in a Mustang, 363 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,586 because, for the first time, 364 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,988 the Mustang has independent rear suspension. 365 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:03,496 Ooh! 366 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:09,702 The cornering speeds this thing can achieve... beggar belief. 367 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,715 How does it grip that well?! 368 00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:30,256 I'm in a car chase in a Mustang. 369 00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:31,724 I am Steve McQueen. 370 00:21:37,764 --> 00:21:39,466 Try that on. 371 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,471 I've got it in Sport Mode, 372 00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,873 which makes the exhaust pop and bang. 373 00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:51,010 Woohoo! Mine! 374 00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:57,684 Oh, my God! 375 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,920 Flat out, yeah. 376 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:05,191 And it still grips! 377 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,695 What is the point of traction control on this thing? 378 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,864 It's like putting a nymphomania control on a nun. 379 00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,711 Oh, God! 380 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,727 Where's he gone? 381 00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:45,432 How did he do that? How did he get away from me 382 00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:48,267 in something from the 18th century? 383 00:22:48,334 --> 00:22:49,902 Especially when I'm driving 384 00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:54,306 what is basically a turbocharged barnacle. 385 00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:59,479 This has the most sophisticated four-wheel-drive system 386 00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,013 fitted to any car. 387 00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:06,619 Not even a Nissan GTR could live with this. 388 00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,960 The Mustang, well, that's for cruising down 389 00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:18,030 the Pacific Coast Highway, listening to Don Henley. 390 00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:21,033 This is for storming up the Stelvio Pass, 391 00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,735 listening to the Clash. 392 00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:29,909 But while it's a grippy, technological masterpiece, 393 00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:35,381 it still has the blue-collar character of its ancestors. 394 00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:40,720 In many ways, this reminds me of the old Escort Cosworth, and that was a great car. 395 00:23:40,787 --> 00:23:43,523 I actually had one in the '90s. I called it Gary. 396 00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:47,994 It started every morning and it always went, "Do you want some?!" 397 00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,563 It was just John Terry, really, with windscreen wipers. 398 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,703 Meanwhile, having got rid of the ape, 399 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:59,739 I was back on my sightseeing tour. 400 00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:02,542 This is our Cheddar Gorge. 401 00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:06,613 Obviously it's not as big as your gorge. 402 00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:08,515 The Grand Canyon is bigger. 403 00:24:08,581 --> 00:24:11,851 Well, it's longer and deeper... and wider. 404 00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:14,554 Mm. But it doesn't have any cheese in it. 405 00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:16,288 Why can't you just leave me alone? 406 00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:19,258 I'm just saying, everything in America comes with cheese, 407 00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:20,927 apart from the Grand Canyon. 408 00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:24,697 Whereas this canyon does come with cheese, and it's delicious. 409 00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:26,398 -Here, have some. -I don't want cheese. 410 00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:29,001 -It's better than Monterey Jack in a tube. -You're ruining this! 411 00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:31,838 No, you are, because you are telling everyone 412 00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:36,375 that the Mustang is better than the Focus. 413 00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:38,277 -Well, it is. -It isn't. 414 00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:41,013 -It is. -No, it isn't. 415 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,083 Look, I'm not saying this is perfect, cos it isn't. 416 00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:47,319 There's a vertical choppiness to the ride, which is annoying. 417 00:24:47,386 --> 00:24:50,289 If you put your phone in the phone holder in front of the gear lever 418 00:24:50,356 --> 00:24:52,692 and then accelerate, it shoots under the seat. 419 00:24:52,759 --> 00:24:53,893 You never see it again. 420 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,862 Petrol tank, way too small. 421 00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:59,566 -And the styling is a bit... yobbish. -A bit?! 422 00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:01,067 But, Hammond, look at this. 423 00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:05,938 Oh, yeah, you're right. 424 00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:09,876 Half a century of Mustang history, heritage and pride, 425 00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:14,681 but it hasn't got a small plastic strip on the door in case you're a bit clumsy. 426 00:25:14,747 --> 00:25:18,317 No, it's brilliant, that. And... this is faster. 427 00:25:18,384 --> 00:25:20,452 Well, no, it isn't. 428 00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:23,389 -It is. -No, it isn't. 429 00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:25,925 -It is. -It isn't. 430 00:25:25,992 --> 00:25:29,596 At this point, I decided to abandon my tour 431 00:25:29,629 --> 00:25:32,599 and head for the nearest airfield... 432 00:25:32,665 --> 00:25:34,667 ...to teach Clarkson a lesson. 433 00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:42,642 Right, I've got 410 horsepower - 434 00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,310 that's 100 more than him. 435 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,779 But there's something else on here that's missing on his Focus, 436 00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:49,148 and it's this - "line lock". 437 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:52,484 So, engage it. Press OK to initialise. 438 00:25:52,619 --> 00:25:54,787 "Initialising. Initialising complete. 439 00:25:54,854 --> 00:25:56,889 Firmly apply and hold brake to engage. 440 00:25:56,956 --> 00:25:59,358 Engaged. Press OK to begin." 441 00:26:01,828 --> 00:26:05,197 What that's doing is locking the front brakes, 442 00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:08,034 so I can warm up my tyres. 443 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:13,305 Hm. That is an ideal feature for people who wake up in the morning and think, 444 00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:16,175 "Do you know, I've got too much tread on my tyres." 445 00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:25,184 Yeah! I'm doing that automatically! 446 00:26:32,524 --> 00:26:34,961 What a moron. 447 00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:36,729 With my tyres warmed up, 448 00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:39,131 I took my place on the start line. 449 00:26:42,802 --> 00:26:46,305 Right, race mode, launch control, 450 00:26:46,372 --> 00:26:49,475 over-boost facility on the turbocharger, 451 00:26:49,541 --> 00:26:54,546 four-wheel-drive, and a man with lightning reactions at the wheel. 452 00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:59,218 This car is going to boing off the line like a spring lamb. 453 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,556 Launch control, first gear, and we're ready to go. 454 00:27:22,608 --> 00:27:25,311 Oh, he's away first. 455 00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:28,280 The most incredible launch control in the world! 456 00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,518 Come on! 457 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:35,187 Come on, Jeremy. Come on. You're winning. 458 00:27:36,723 --> 00:27:38,524 Oh, reeling him in! 459 00:27:46,198 --> 00:27:49,535 No, no, no! That's simply impossible! 460 00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:51,738 Well, bless him for trying. 461 00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:59,345 Things I don't want to see right now - number one, him. 462 00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:01,213 So er... I won, then. 463 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:06,853 -Yes, but your car doesn't have a drift button. -A what? 464 00:28:06,919 --> 00:28:08,220 -A drift button. -What does that do? 465 00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:09,889 Well, you push it, and then, 466 00:28:09,956 --> 00:28:13,359 when you go round a corner, the car drifts. 467 00:28:13,425 --> 00:28:14,626 -Does it? -Yeah. 468 00:28:14,761 --> 00:28:16,628 You know, I'd love to see that in action. 469 00:28:16,763 --> 00:28:18,430 -I'd love to see you doing that. -Yes. 470 00:28:18,497 --> 00:28:20,933 -I'll watch. Yeah, show me. -You stay there. 471 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,870 You will not... Even James May could drift this. 472 00:28:23,936 --> 00:28:25,938 -Here we go! -I can't wait to watch. 473 00:28:34,981 --> 00:28:37,149 Check it out, ladies and gentlemen! 474 00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:38,785 Check it out! 475 00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:41,253 I'm drifting. 476 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,190 What do you think of that, Hammond? Look at that! 477 00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:51,798 Hammond? 478 00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:55,802 Hammond? 479 00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:58,504 Hammond! 480 00:29:06,045 --> 00:29:08,080 What? You're not gonna blame me. 481 00:29:08,147 --> 00:29:11,984 -Where did you go? -Well, I left you because you were being moronic. 482 00:29:12,051 --> 00:29:13,652 -I wasn't! -You were! 483 00:29:13,719 --> 00:29:14,987 Seriously, who is going to buy 484 00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:16,823 a Ford Focus when, for the same money, 485 00:29:16,856 --> 00:29:18,690 you could have a V8-engine Mustang? 486 00:29:18,825 --> 00:29:20,159 -No-one. -What? 487 00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:23,830 Nobody would. Mustang's got so much more character. 488 00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:25,297 Hang on. So, you agree with me? 489 00:29:25,364 --> 00:29:26,732 Oh, God, yes! If I had the choice of those two cars, 490 00:29:26,833 --> 00:29:29,468 I'd have the Mustang every day of the week. 491 00:29:31,070 --> 00:29:33,840 So you ruined my day out for no reason at all? 492 00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:38,177 I ruined your day out because it was fun... to ruin your day out. 493 00:29:38,244 --> 00:29:40,512 -Good work. -It was good work. Sorry about that. 494 00:29:40,579 --> 00:29:44,917 But anyway, we must now find out how fast those Fords go round our track, 495 00:29:44,984 --> 00:29:50,156 and that, of course, means handing them over to our other resident American - 496 00:29:50,222 --> 00:29:54,861 a man who thinks that shower gel is basically communist. 497 00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:55,928 It's the American. 498 00:29:57,363 --> 00:29:59,598 There he is, looking bewildered. 499 00:29:59,665 --> 00:30:01,400 And he's away! 500 00:30:03,169 --> 00:30:06,305 It sounds like a bunch of goddamn mice in there. 501 00:30:09,375 --> 00:30:12,244 Why the hell don't they just start with eight cylinders? 502 00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:17,449 Strangest mice I ever heard, as he powers down the Isn't. 503 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:19,351 That is a good noise. 504 00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:22,554 Arms working the wheel like he's wrestling a drifter, 505 00:30:22,621 --> 00:30:24,056 which, of course, he is. 506 00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:26,225 And already he's at Your Name Here. 507 00:30:26,292 --> 00:30:29,028 Tyres squealing, but it's clinging on well, 508 00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:31,230 and now the climb back onto the Isn't. 509 00:30:31,297 --> 00:30:33,099 It ain't got no room in it. 510 00:30:34,233 --> 00:30:36,535 No place to put your beer. 511 00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:40,739 I think he and I look for slightly different things in a car. 512 00:30:40,806 --> 00:30:43,009 Anyway, now hard on the brakes 513 00:30:43,075 --> 00:30:46,645 as he turns into Old Lady's House. 514 00:30:46,712 --> 00:30:49,481 Yeah, he is dispatching that with no dramas, 515 00:30:49,548 --> 00:30:51,550 and now he can get the hammer down 516 00:30:51,617 --> 00:30:53,886 for the bumpy sprint to Substation. 517 00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:55,421 Looking good. 518 00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:57,523 Four-wheel-drive cars can, of course, understeer, 519 00:30:57,589 --> 00:31:00,859 but... nope, not a whiff of it here. 520 00:31:00,927 --> 00:31:04,830 And Field Of Sheep, tidy through there as well, 521 00:31:04,931 --> 00:31:06,398 and across the line. 522 00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:11,037 Now, I think he might enjoy this one. 523 00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:13,605 And he is wheel-spinning away! 524 00:31:14,941 --> 00:31:17,243 All right! American muscle, baby! 525 00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:21,247 5.0 Mustang - this thing is badass. 526 00:31:24,650 --> 00:31:27,386 It's got a trunk, a place for my golf clubs. 527 00:31:27,453 --> 00:31:31,023 Pack up the old lady, go for the weekend somewhere in this thing, 528 00:31:31,090 --> 00:31:33,425 and you can haul ass while you're goin'. 529 00:31:33,492 --> 00:31:37,163 Something there about an old lady and hauling a bottom. 530 00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:38,430 Anyway, he's on the Isn't, 531 00:31:38,497 --> 00:31:41,033 and he's flying into Your Name Here. 532 00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:44,370 The mighty Mustang has filled the American with vigour, 533 00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:46,372 and he's being surprisingly tidy. 534 00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:53,445 That's what us Americans want, we want to smoke the tyres. 535 00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:57,083 We want this thing to just get shit and get. 536 00:31:57,149 --> 00:32:00,752 Literally no idea what he's on about. It's just a noise. 537 00:32:00,819 --> 00:32:03,990 When this thing stops, man, it stops on a dime. 538 00:32:03,990 --> 00:32:07,759 "It'll stop on a dime and give you nine cents change" is what we say. 539 00:32:07,826 --> 00:32:09,996 You really can't shut him up about this one. 540 00:32:09,996 --> 00:32:13,665 Anyway, he is keeping it neat round Old Lady's House, 541 00:32:13,732 --> 00:32:17,136 and then unleashing that V8 fury 542 00:32:17,203 --> 00:32:19,671 over the rough stuff to Substation. 543 00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:23,275 Hard on the brakes, ready for the 90 left. 544 00:32:23,342 --> 00:32:25,444 Blip it up to Field Of Sheep. 545 00:32:25,511 --> 00:32:26,845 Here we go. 546 00:32:26,912 --> 00:32:31,017 Flurry of exuberance, and across the line. 547 00:32:31,017 --> 00:32:32,684 There we are. 548 00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,523 OK, here's the Lap Board. 549 00:32:37,589 --> 00:32:41,827 Let's have a look, first of all, where the Focus went. 550 00:32:41,893 --> 00:32:43,595 So... 551 00:32:43,662 --> 00:32:45,064 Oh, there it is. 552 00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:47,533 Faster than an ST200 - perhaps not surprising. 553 00:32:47,599 --> 00:32:48,500 Just as well. 554 00:32:48,567 --> 00:32:51,870 Now let's bring up the Mustang. 555 00:32:51,937 --> 00:32:53,339 Oh! 556 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:58,444 - That's not embarrassing, is it? 557 00:32:58,510 --> 00:33:02,514 The car that you, me, and the American all prefer 558 00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:05,817 is quite a lot slower than the European Focus. 559 00:33:05,884 --> 00:33:07,119 Yes. 560 00:33:07,186 --> 00:33:08,954 Anyway, listen, let's move on, shall we, 561 00:33:09,055 --> 00:33:11,490 to Celebrity Brain Crash. 562 00:33:19,098 --> 00:33:20,866 Now... 563 00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:25,171 our guest this week isn't just my favourite Formula One driver, 564 00:33:25,237 --> 00:33:27,439 he's also a local boy. 565 00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:31,577 Oh, yeah, this is the chatty man of motorsport, 566 00:33:31,643 --> 00:33:32,811 Mr Effervescent, 567 00:33:32,878 --> 00:33:35,547 ladies and gentlemen, Kimi Räikkönen! 568 00:33:37,083 --> 00:33:38,484 Here he comes. 569 00:33:41,220 --> 00:33:42,954 What are we gonna ask him? 570 00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:44,690 It doesn't matter what you ask him. 571 00:33:44,756 --> 00:33:48,494 It doesn't, because you won't get a coherent answer. 572 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,429 Is he all right? 573 00:33:52,098 --> 00:33:53,365 No, hang on. Whoa! 574 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,402 - Oh, no. - Not again. 575 00:33:58,170 --> 00:34:00,506 No, he has, I'm afraid, ladies and gentlemen, 576 00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:02,908 literally drunk himself to death. 577 00:34:03,975 --> 00:34:05,411 Damn. 578 00:34:05,477 --> 00:34:08,114 - Does that mean he's not coming on, then? 579 00:34:08,114 --> 00:34:09,315 Well, his liver has failed 580 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:10,816 and he's now slowly solidifying 581 00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:14,820 in the freezing dusk of an Arctic night, so that's a no. 582 00:34:15,987 --> 00:34:17,256 Yeah, but it doesn't matter. 583 00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:19,258 Well, it does, cos I actually rather liked Kimi. 584 00:34:19,325 --> 00:34:22,561 But I can think of something else we can do to fill the time. 585 00:34:22,628 --> 00:34:25,131 Here's the thing. Er... If you're watching this 586 00:34:25,197 --> 00:34:27,766 on the day the programme is actually released, 587 00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:30,402 it is December 23rd. 588 00:34:30,469 --> 00:34:32,671 There are two days to go until Christmas, 589 00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:37,176 and if you're a man, you won't have done any shopping yet. 590 00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:40,812 -But don't worry, cos we've got your back. -Oh, yeah. 591 00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:43,215 We have trawled the Internet and the shops 592 00:34:43,282 --> 00:34:45,917 to find the best gift ideas. 593 00:34:45,984 --> 00:34:51,423 Yes, and here, in our special Grand Tour Santa Land Grotto. 594 00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:53,492 Yeah. 595 00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:55,894 Nice view. Nice everything. 596 00:34:55,961 --> 00:34:57,163 Yeah. Er... 597 00:34:57,229 --> 00:35:00,166 We begin with this rather brilliant tray, 598 00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:04,203 which, apparently, is the ideal place to put your laptop or your breakfast. 599 00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:06,238 We have a picture of it in action here. 600 00:35:08,474 --> 00:35:11,577 Hang on a minute! - I see a couple of problems with that. 601 00:35:11,643 --> 00:35:13,512 - I can too. - What else have we got? 602 00:35:13,579 --> 00:35:16,315 Well, now, the reason I don't play chess any more 603 00:35:16,382 --> 00:35:19,050 is it's just so exhausting to move the pieces around. 604 00:35:19,185 --> 00:35:22,421 -I know what you mean. -Far too heavy, picking the Queen up and moving her. 605 00:35:22,488 --> 00:35:26,658 But it's OK, because Ferrari has answered that problem with this. 606 00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:30,362 - It's a lightweight, carbon-fibre chess set... 607 00:35:30,429 --> 00:35:33,365 ...and it's yours for £1,400. 608 00:35:33,432 --> 00:35:37,068 -How much?! -£1,400. 609 00:35:37,203 --> 00:35:39,771 And that is the funny thing - you take something ordinary, 610 00:35:39,838 --> 00:35:43,209 write a car name on it, and suddenly it becomes expensive. 611 00:35:43,209 --> 00:35:45,811 This bear, for example. I know about bears. 612 00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:48,614 It's an acrylic fibre, 613 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,649 stuffed with industrial waste. 614 00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:51,817 £2.75. 615 00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:55,954 But, because it's got a Honda T-shirt on, £10. 616 00:35:56,021 --> 00:35:57,088 £10. 617 00:35:57,223 --> 00:35:59,024 Yes, but it's Honda Bear! 618 00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:00,326 Or... 619 00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:02,361 I love that! On Christmas morning, Honda Bear! 620 00:36:02,428 --> 00:36:04,530 I love following his adventures! 621 00:36:04,596 --> 00:36:06,732 How about this lovingly crafted 622 00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:10,001 "I love my Hyundai" pillowcase? 623 00:36:11,303 --> 00:36:13,505 What woman is ever going to leap into bed 624 00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:15,741 with a man whose pillows bear that legend? 625 00:36:15,807 --> 00:36:18,477 OK, Hammond, I'll tell you exactly what woman. 626 00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:21,413 The woman who would wear this thong, 627 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,149 which has written lovingly on the front, 628 00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:26,017 the legend Elantra. 629 00:36:27,353 --> 00:36:29,355 Erotic! Erotic! 630 00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:35,561 Can I just say, the perfect Christmas gift for the Hyundai owner is a BMW. 631 00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:37,696 Well, yes, look, we realised that branding stuff, 632 00:36:37,763 --> 00:36:42,268 obviously there's some money in it, so we thought, since we're in Scandinavia, 633 00:36:42,301 --> 00:36:47,072 we would launch our own range of car-branded Christmas jumpers. 634 00:36:47,138 --> 00:36:49,107 Mm-hm. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 635 00:36:49,174 --> 00:36:51,977 - Talk among yourselves, everybody. Hold on a moment. 636 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:54,580 This is modelling time. 637 00:36:54,646 --> 00:36:57,916 Mine is a simple turtleneck. 638 00:36:57,983 --> 00:37:01,653 Very, very warm, bearing the name of a legend on the front. 639 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:04,723 I know, it's very special. Very Christmassy, yeah? 640 00:37:04,790 --> 00:37:08,360 - I have gone for a very cuddly... 641 00:37:08,427 --> 00:37:10,662 ...and Christmassy cardigan bearing the name, 642 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:13,665 as you can see, of a car I absolutely adore. 643 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:15,967 Yeah, and here's the thing, OK. 644 00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:17,336 Mine is a crewneck, actually. 645 00:37:22,341 --> 00:37:23,675 Why is everybody...? 646 00:37:25,877 --> 00:37:28,914 - Why are you applauding? - I don't know. 647 00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:31,317 I think... 648 00:37:31,317 --> 00:37:32,918 -Why are you...? -Is it...? 649 00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:34,986 Is it because they haven't seen us in knitwear before? 650 00:37:36,722 --> 00:37:39,491 Anyway, we've had a go at making some Grand Tour-branded stuff. 651 00:37:39,558 --> 00:37:40,826 -Oh, yeah. -But here's the thing. 652 00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:42,160 We haven't gone for the obvious stuff, 653 00:37:42,227 --> 00:37:44,195 like jumpers and mugs and umbrellas. 654 00:37:44,330 --> 00:37:47,766 We've gone for things that other people haven't thought of. 655 00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:49,134 Things like this - 656 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:50,369 haemorrhoid cream. 657 00:37:51,703 --> 00:37:53,572 -We all need it. -I don't. 658 00:37:53,639 --> 00:37:55,140 No, I don't, either. 659 00:37:55,206 --> 00:37:57,643 Well, this is mine. 660 00:37:57,709 --> 00:38:01,012 Bought it for £2.75, but now it's got Grand Tour on it, 661 00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:03,915 we could sell that for £20. 662 00:38:03,982 --> 00:38:06,918 I tell you what really good idea we've had erm... 663 00:38:06,985 --> 00:38:09,821 is condoms, OK, which have been... 664 00:38:09,888 --> 00:38:12,491 well, they've been branded with well-known expressions 665 00:38:12,558 --> 00:38:14,460 and phrases that we often say. 666 00:38:14,526 --> 00:38:16,895 -I'm gonna demonstrate using this-- -Whoa! 667 00:38:18,063 --> 00:38:19,498 You flatter yourself, sir! 668 00:38:19,565 --> 00:38:21,900 - Au contraire. - Oh, really? 669 00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:27,005 So we simply roll the condom over the rolling pin. 670 00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:30,409 Here it is. There's the GT logo coming up. 671 00:38:30,476 --> 00:38:32,778 And on the other side, "How hard can it be?" 672 00:38:32,844 --> 00:38:35,381 We're very pleased. 673 00:38:37,248 --> 00:38:40,819 Pretty damn hard, for a man of my age. 674 00:38:40,886 --> 00:38:43,221 We're... We're very pleased with these. 675 00:38:43,288 --> 00:38:46,758 Various of our slogans have been used. I'm going to put mine on this er... 676 00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:48,760 disappointingly small carrot. 677 00:38:49,861 --> 00:38:52,464 Erm... And it bears one of my expressions. 678 00:38:52,531 --> 00:38:54,400 -See, I can't-- -Don't bite it! 679 00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:56,435 Well, I can't open the thing, can I? 680 00:38:56,502 --> 00:38:58,269 No, there's one of those little tear things. 681 00:38:58,404 --> 00:39:01,172 - Hold on, love. - I'll be with you in a minute. 682 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,776 -No, it's-- -You're not gonna be here to help me when I'm using it! 683 00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,412 -You don't know! -I bloody do! 684 00:39:06,478 --> 00:39:08,547 -I might be. -I'm pretty sure you won't be. 685 00:39:08,614 --> 00:39:10,716 That's quite the wrong thing to... Are you in? 686 00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:13,585 -Yeah, I'm... What?! -Can I have my glasses back? 687 00:39:13,652 --> 00:39:15,120 -No. -No, I want my glasses back 688 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,723 before you start messing around with sex things. 689 00:39:17,789 --> 00:39:20,025 Oh, right, let me... Oh, dear. It's a bit baggy. 690 00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:22,260 I've actually torn it with my teeth, 691 00:39:22,327 --> 00:39:25,330 which makes the slogan on it quite appropriate, really - 692 00:39:25,431 --> 00:39:26,965 "That's not gone well." 693 00:39:28,634 --> 00:39:31,202 Can I just say, that is by far and away 694 00:39:31,269 --> 00:39:33,939 the least erotic thing I have ever... 695 00:39:34,005 --> 00:39:36,508 Don't tell me that's not an unfamiliar sight. 696 00:39:45,283 --> 00:39:46,785 Oh, have you done one as well? 697 00:39:46,852 --> 00:39:49,455 Of course I have. Very sensibly, I put mine on earlier. 698 00:39:49,488 --> 00:39:51,322 Whoa! 699 00:39:51,457 --> 00:39:55,093 Branded with the GT logo and my own personal catchphrase, 700 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:56,662 "I was the first to arrive." 701 00:40:00,932 --> 00:40:05,804 Now, are you bored with having two fully functioning ankles? 702 00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:07,639 Yes? Well, don't worry if you are, 703 00:40:07,706 --> 00:40:10,542 because this Christmas, the market is awash with products 704 00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:12,678 designed specifically to break them. 705 00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:15,447 such as this iBot-9. 706 00:40:15,514 --> 00:40:17,048 I thought that was a vacuum cleaner. 707 00:40:17,115 --> 00:40:18,149 No, it's incredibly heavy 708 00:40:18,216 --> 00:40:20,185 because it's packed full of pain. 709 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:23,388 Basically, you put these things out on the side, you stand and whizz about. 710 00:40:23,455 --> 00:40:26,558 But within seconds of getting on, you will be falling over and breaking your ankles. 711 00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:27,926 Probably so. 712 00:40:27,993 --> 00:40:30,696 Yes, and on the other hand, there are also these. 713 00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:33,198 These are called the Rocket Skates. 714 00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:35,734 They will cost you just £900, 715 00:40:35,801 --> 00:40:39,304 and they are guaranteed to power you straight to casualty. 716 00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:40,706 Yeah. 717 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:42,708 - No, they're fine. No, they're really not. 718 00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:46,545 -I'll be all right. I could have a go on those. -Who'd like to see that? 719 00:40:46,612 --> 00:40:48,914 You said it. 720 00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:50,916 Seriously. I mean, honestly... 721 00:40:53,685 --> 00:40:55,386 "How hard can it be?" 722 00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:57,889 See, I knew it would come in handy. I can bludgeon... 723 00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:59,991 -Seriously, I'll have a go. -Off you go, mate. 724 00:41:00,058 --> 00:41:02,661 - Yeah. - Can I wear my shoes in them? 725 00:41:02,728 --> 00:41:04,863 Are they like ski boots? 726 00:41:04,930 --> 00:41:08,199 Yes, Jeremy, apart from they've got wheels and you're indoors. 727 00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:11,537 -I am not going near them. -Just put my foot in them. 728 00:41:11,570 --> 00:41:13,705 I don't want to! 729 00:41:13,772 --> 00:41:16,742 -I can't see what I'm... -It's degrading and unpleasant. 730 00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:21,613 -Do I take my shoes off? -Put your great cloven hoof in there. 731 00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,082 It fits! You can go to the ball. 732 00:41:24,149 --> 00:41:25,851 There, you're in. 733 00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:28,019 -Thank you. -Now what are you gonna do? 734 00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:29,420 You're not gonna do it! 735 00:41:33,091 --> 00:41:35,961 -Is that it? Have you started? -Not yet. 736 00:41:36,027 --> 00:41:38,029 I better face the other way, hadn't I? 737 00:41:39,631 --> 00:41:41,166 Looking good. 738 00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:42,467 These are worth every... 739 00:41:42,568 --> 00:41:44,636 What will they cost, 900 quid? 740 00:41:44,703 --> 00:41:46,572 -Nine hundred quid. -Literally every penny. 741 00:41:46,572 --> 00:41:49,474 Wait, hold it there. Hold it there. 742 00:41:49,575 --> 00:41:52,077 Look out, girls, Mr Darcy's arrived. 743 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:54,746 Looking good. 744 00:41:59,785 --> 00:42:02,120 - Oh, this is brilliant. - Wow! 745 00:42:02,187 --> 00:42:06,124 I can see why they're called Rocket Skates. 746 00:42:06,191 --> 00:42:09,027 - Come on, man. - Oh, God! I'm trying to move! 747 00:42:09,094 --> 00:42:11,797 Lean back! - What do you mean, "Lean back"? 748 00:42:16,434 --> 00:42:17,836 Like that? 749 00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:21,206 -Jeremy? -What? 750 00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:23,308 Stephen Hawking would make a better job of these 751 00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:24,810 Rocket Skates than you have. 752 00:42:26,812 --> 00:42:28,213 -Right... -Where are you going?! 753 00:42:28,279 --> 00:42:31,049 - You've got to get one... - Do you remember... 754 00:42:31,116 --> 00:42:34,252 Whoa! It's a disaster! 755 00:42:36,622 --> 00:42:38,924 Shit. Sorry. 756 00:42:38,990 --> 00:42:41,492 Don't worry, Jeremy. I will come and rescue on my... 757 00:42:41,627 --> 00:42:42,694 Bloody hell! 758 00:42:42,761 --> 00:42:44,630 Oh, my God. It's going mad. 759 00:42:44,696 --> 00:42:46,297 Erm... Right. Right. 760 00:42:46,364 --> 00:42:49,635 -I put my foot on there. -This is a really good ambulance service. 761 00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:55,741 Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry, I'll be there in a minute. 762 00:42:55,807 --> 00:42:58,109 I don't know that this works. 763 00:42:58,176 --> 00:42:59,678 I've gone again! 764 00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:03,148 Shit! Now I've got cramp! 765 00:43:05,183 --> 00:43:08,086 That was... That was a brilliant idea, but never mind, 766 00:43:08,153 --> 00:43:10,722 because erm... I have a perfect Christmas present here. 767 00:43:10,789 --> 00:43:14,225 You control this with your mobile phone and your face comes on it. 768 00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:16,527 And the brilliant thing about it is that it means 769 00:43:16,662 --> 00:43:21,667 you can have your favourite celebrity round to your house for Christmas lunch. 770 00:43:21,733 --> 00:43:25,570 With that in mind, ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome into the studio - 771 00:43:25,671 --> 00:43:31,142 he's actually in his office in London, and yet he's also here on top of a stick - 772 00:43:31,209 --> 00:43:32,678 it's Bob Geldof! 773 00:43:36,047 --> 00:43:37,515 We're gonna say hello to Bob. 774 00:43:37,582 --> 00:43:40,051 - I can't say hello to Bob! - He's coming, Hammond. 775 00:43:40,118 --> 00:43:41,953 -I just go in circles! -It is! 776 00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:44,055 It's Bob Geldof, everybody! 777 00:43:45,323 --> 00:43:47,358 Hello, Bob. Where have you gone? 778 00:43:47,425 --> 00:43:49,027 Bob! We're over here, Bob! 779 00:43:49,094 --> 00:43:50,762 -Bob! -Bob, we're over here! 780 00:43:50,829 --> 00:43:52,597 -Where are you? -He's there! 781 00:43:52,698 --> 00:43:54,866 Bob Geldof, how are you? 782 00:43:54,933 --> 00:43:56,902 Yes, happy Christmas! 783 00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:59,470 Oh, ! Sorry! 784 00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:02,140 -Are you having a good Christmas, Bob? -Oh, no! Bob's... 785 00:44:02,207 --> 00:44:05,576 Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Geldof is lost! 786 00:44:05,711 --> 00:44:07,946 He's gone in the wrong... 787 00:44:08,013 --> 00:44:09,981 Oh, James May's coming to join in. 788 00:44:10,048 --> 00:44:13,318 I'm coming to talk to Bob Geldof. 789 00:44:13,384 --> 00:44:16,321 Whoa! May has kissed Bob Geldof! 790 00:44:16,387 --> 00:44:18,890 -Hello, Bob. How are you? -Get out of the way! 791 00:44:18,957 --> 00:44:20,992 -I'm travelling! -No, straight ahead, Bob. 792 00:44:21,059 --> 00:44:24,329 Bob, no. Left-hand down, Bob. No, Bob. Bob, you... 793 00:44:24,395 --> 00:44:27,032 Have I just attacked somebody's knob? 794 00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:29,000 Bob, stop attacking the crowd! 795 00:44:29,968 --> 00:44:31,202 Now where's he going?! 796 00:44:32,370 --> 00:44:34,305 Bob! 797 00:44:34,372 --> 00:44:36,607 Right, I'll rescue Bob. Hold on. 798 00:44:36,742 --> 00:44:38,276 Straight ahead, Bob. That's perfect. 799 00:44:38,343 --> 00:44:41,279 - Straight ahead. Straight. - A bit of right-hand down. 800 00:44:41,346 --> 00:44:45,316 No, don't drive into it! Stop head-butting the tree! 801 00:44:45,383 --> 00:44:46,952 This is ridiculous! 802 00:44:47,018 --> 00:44:49,587 Where's the reindeers and Santa Claus at? 803 00:44:49,654 --> 00:44:53,358 Oh, no! Hang on a minute! 804 00:44:53,424 --> 00:44:54,760 He's ruined Christmas! 805 00:44:54,826 --> 00:44:56,895 Does he know it's Christmas time at all? 806 00:44:56,962 --> 00:44:59,164 Well, tonight, thank God it's him instead of us 807 00:44:59,230 --> 00:45:00,766 knocking the Christmas tree over. 808 00:45:00,832 --> 00:45:03,268 Absolutely right. He's ruined it! 809 00:45:03,334 --> 00:45:04,469 Anyway, erm... 810 00:45:05,871 --> 00:45:08,373 This year marks the 50th anniversary 811 00:45:08,439 --> 00:45:11,076 of the greatest battle in motorsport history. 812 00:45:11,142 --> 00:45:13,244 The story begins in the 1960s, 813 00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:17,115 when Ford realised that they could sell a lot more cars 814 00:45:17,182 --> 00:45:20,218 if they were a lot more successful on the racetrack. 815 00:45:20,285 --> 00:45:25,423 So they formulated a brilliant plan, but unfortunately... 816 00:45:28,459 --> 00:45:30,996 ...it went disastrously wrong, didn't it, Bob? 817 00:45:36,234 --> 00:45:39,370 Ford knew that if you wanted to rule in motorsport, 818 00:45:39,437 --> 00:45:42,140 there was only one race that mattered. 819 00:45:42,207 --> 00:45:45,110 The toughest and most dangerous of them all - 820 00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:47,378 the 24 Hours of Le Mans. 821 00:45:47,445 --> 00:45:50,515 Levegh's Mercedes collides and blows up. 822 00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:52,583 The problem was, for all its might, 823 00:45:52,650 --> 00:45:56,254 Ford didn't have a clue how to win at Le Mans. 824 00:45:56,321 --> 00:45:59,958 However, over in Italy, someone did. 825 00:46:08,133 --> 00:46:09,434 In the early 1960s, 826 00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:13,338 Enzo Ferrari's cars ruled sports-car racing, 827 00:46:13,404 --> 00:46:14,940 Le Mans especially. 828 00:46:15,006 --> 00:46:16,307 At the start of the decade, 829 00:46:16,374 --> 00:46:18,977 he had won the famous and gruelling 24-hour race 830 00:46:19,044 --> 00:46:21,412 three times on the trot. 831 00:46:21,479 --> 00:46:25,583 However, the company was in deep financial difficulty, 832 00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:28,854 so when Ford offered to buy the entire business, 833 00:46:28,854 --> 00:46:30,889 Enzo agreed. 834 00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:35,726 At first, all went well. 835 00:46:35,861 --> 00:46:40,265 Enzo Ferrari and the head of Ford, Henry Ford II, 836 00:46:40,331 --> 00:46:44,569 quickly settled on a price of $16 million. 837 00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:47,705 And on May 21st 1963, 838 00:46:47,772 --> 00:46:52,777 Ford executives arrived in Maranello to sign the deal. 839 00:46:52,878 --> 00:46:55,246 Ford turned up with an army of suits. 840 00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:57,182 Enzo Ferrari sat opposite them 841 00:46:57,248 --> 00:46:59,550 with just the local town lawyer. 842 00:46:59,617 --> 00:47:01,519 They read the contract and all seemed well, 843 00:47:01,586 --> 00:47:03,654 but then, suddenly, Ferrari stopped 844 00:47:03,721 --> 00:47:06,691 and he took out his famous fountain pen full of purple ink, 845 00:47:06,757 --> 00:47:09,928 and as you can see from this accurate copy I have here, 846 00:47:09,995 --> 00:47:12,530 he drew a big exclamation mark and he wrote, 847 00:47:12,597 --> 00:47:14,933 "No, that's no good!" 848 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,003 Now, what had angered him? Well, it was this clause here. 849 00:47:18,069 --> 00:47:20,906 You see, Enzo Ferrari wanted to retain control 850 00:47:20,972 --> 00:47:23,108 of the motorsport side of his business, 851 00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:27,913 but this bit effectively handed control to Ford. 852 00:47:27,979 --> 00:47:31,316 There followed a tirade of abuse in Italian, 853 00:47:31,382 --> 00:47:34,119 after which, Enzo said to his lawyer, "Let's go and eat." 854 00:47:34,185 --> 00:47:38,723 Then they got up and they simply walked out on the stunned Ford executives. 855 00:47:38,789 --> 00:47:39,925 That was that. 856 00:47:39,991 --> 00:47:42,327 All of this for nothing. 857 00:47:43,628 --> 00:47:46,597 Back in Detroit, Henry Ford II, 858 00:47:46,664 --> 00:47:48,399 apoplectic with rage, 859 00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:51,336 gathered his lieutenants and issued the order: 860 00:47:51,402 --> 00:47:55,440 "Build me a car that will crush Ferrari at Le Mans." 861 00:47:58,609 --> 00:48:00,845 To beat Ferrari on European soil, 862 00:48:00,946 --> 00:48:03,248 Ford needed European expertise, 863 00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:05,650 so he hired a small British motorsport company 864 00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:09,187 that set up shop here, in this very building, 865 00:48:09,254 --> 00:48:13,224 on an industrial estate in Slough, just outside London. 866 00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:16,861 And the challenges they faced were enormous. 867 00:48:16,962 --> 00:48:21,099 They had to build a car that would race at over 200mph, 868 00:48:21,166 --> 00:48:22,968 which was something that had never been done before, 869 00:48:22,968 --> 00:48:27,338 and it had to be reliable for the 24 hours of the Le Mans race - 870 00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:30,841 a race in which you changed gear 9,000 times 871 00:48:30,976 --> 00:48:34,579 and drove flat out for 3,000 miles. 872 00:48:34,645 --> 00:48:39,117 And, as if that wasn't bad enough, they only had ten months to do it. 873 00:48:43,688 --> 00:48:47,525 Out of that insane timetable emerged this. 874 00:48:49,194 --> 00:48:51,096 The Ford GT. 875 00:48:51,162 --> 00:48:55,533 Thanks to its sleek shape and the body that stood just 40-inches tall, 876 00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:59,470 it promised to cut through the air like a missile. 877 00:48:59,537 --> 00:49:01,606 Add a 4.2L V8, 878 00:49:01,672 --> 00:49:06,844 and the magic target of 200mph seemed in the bag. 879 00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:11,716 The trouble is, a racing car is just a collection of hopes and dreams 880 00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:14,452 until it gets on the track. 881 00:49:14,519 --> 00:49:17,288 And that's something that Ford learned in a very brutal way 882 00:49:17,355 --> 00:49:22,060 when they took the GT40 to test at Le Mans for the first time. 883 00:49:23,694 --> 00:49:26,631 And so to the first Le Mans practice session. 884 00:49:26,697 --> 00:49:31,269 On its first outing, the renamed GT40 was fast, 885 00:49:31,336 --> 00:49:34,072 but it was also terrifyingly unstable, 886 00:49:34,139 --> 00:49:37,142 spinning its wheels on the straights. 887 00:49:37,208 --> 00:49:39,210 I'm not talking about when you set off, 888 00:49:39,277 --> 00:49:42,647 I mean it was happening at 170mph! 889 00:49:45,450 --> 00:49:48,753 Now, the problem was either aerodynamics or suspension, 890 00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:50,155 but they never found out, 891 00:49:50,221 --> 00:49:55,560 because, later that day, the car crashed at 160mph. 892 00:49:55,626 --> 00:49:58,396 Well, that was OK. They had a spare one, of course. 893 00:49:58,463 --> 00:50:00,965 The next day, that crashed as well. 894 00:50:01,066 --> 00:50:03,734 Le Mans was just two months away. 895 00:50:06,671 --> 00:50:13,511 Against all odds, Ford got their act together in time for the 1964 race. 896 00:50:13,578 --> 00:50:15,646 The Le Mans 24 Hour Race at last, 897 00:50:15,713 --> 00:50:19,317 and three gleaming Ford GTs are present. 898 00:50:19,384 --> 00:50:21,419 But during the race itself, 899 00:50:21,486 --> 00:50:24,955 all the cars broke down or caught fire, 900 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:27,024 leaving bitter rivals Ferrari 901 00:50:27,092 --> 00:50:31,062 to take another one-two-three victory. 902 00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:38,069 In Detroit, Henry Ford decreed that they would be back next year 903 00:50:38,136 --> 00:50:40,271 to take on Ferrari again. 904 00:50:40,338 --> 00:50:42,173 And to head up the campaign, 905 00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:45,576 he turned to an American motorsport hero. 906 00:50:45,643 --> 00:50:48,879 My name's Carroll Shelby and performance is my business. 907 00:50:48,946 --> 00:50:52,049 Shelby was a former chicken farmer from Texas 908 00:50:52,117 --> 00:50:55,553 who took nitroglycerin pills to keep his heart going. 909 00:50:55,620 --> 00:50:57,988 But he'd also racked up countless victories 910 00:50:58,055 --> 00:51:00,525 as a driver and team owner. 911 00:51:00,591 --> 00:51:03,494 Given the task of turning the GT40 into a winner, 912 00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:05,863 he put his top man on the job. 913 00:51:05,930 --> 00:51:07,432 Coming up is Ken Miles, 914 00:51:07,498 --> 00:51:11,136 one of the best sport-car drivers in America. 915 00:51:11,136 --> 00:51:15,606 Miles was a former Second World War tank commander from Birmingham - 916 00:51:15,673 --> 00:51:18,509 the one in England, not Alabama. 917 00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:20,478 He was renowned for speaking his mind 918 00:51:20,545 --> 00:51:23,648 and developing racing cars. 919 00:51:23,714 --> 00:51:25,416 Miles took the car for a shakedown. 920 00:51:25,483 --> 00:51:28,719 Then he got out and he told Shelby and the Ford executives, 921 00:51:28,786 --> 00:51:30,388 "It's bloody awful!" 922 00:51:30,455 --> 00:51:32,157 Then he got to work, 923 00:51:32,190 --> 00:51:34,659 improving the brakes, the engine, 924 00:51:34,725 --> 00:51:36,694 the aerodynamics, the handling, 925 00:51:36,761 --> 00:51:41,766 and taming the car's terrifying high-speed instability. 926 00:51:41,832 --> 00:51:44,869 However, and even though he and his team took amphetamine 927 00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:46,737 so that they could stay awake all night, 928 00:51:46,804 --> 00:51:51,776 there simply wasn't time to develop the car properly for Le Mans. 929 00:51:51,842 --> 00:51:54,179 The GT40 may have been faster, 930 00:51:54,245 --> 00:51:56,314 but it was still fragile. 931 00:51:56,381 --> 00:51:58,183 At the 1965 race, 932 00:51:58,249 --> 00:52:00,751 six cars started, none finished, 933 00:52:00,818 --> 00:52:04,722 and the Italians humiliated Ford once again. 934 00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:09,727 So, untold millions of dollars had been spent 935 00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:13,331 since the first GT40 emerged from this building here, 936 00:52:13,398 --> 00:52:17,502 and yet not one car had even finished the race. 937 00:52:17,568 --> 00:52:19,270 So Ford now faced a difficult choice - 938 00:52:19,337 --> 00:52:23,374 he could throw in the towel against Ferrari, or he could fight on. 939 00:52:23,441 --> 00:52:26,611 What he actually did was he had some business cards printed, 940 00:52:26,677 --> 00:52:29,214 and he distributed them to his Le Mans team. 941 00:52:29,247 --> 00:52:32,350 And on the cards it said, "You'd better win." 942 00:52:32,417 --> 00:52:33,984 And so, a year later, 943 00:52:34,051 --> 00:52:36,687 the American giant returned to Le Mans 944 00:52:36,754 --> 00:52:40,791 with its hopes resting on this. 945 00:52:48,333 --> 00:52:49,800 OK, viewers, 946 00:52:49,867 --> 00:52:54,872 this is historic-race-car bucket-list moment number two, 947 00:52:54,939 --> 00:52:57,675 because this is an actual GT40 948 00:52:57,742 --> 00:53:01,479 that competed at Le Mans in 1966. 949 00:53:03,881 --> 00:53:07,252 All right, don't go mad, May, it's worth 15-million quid. 950 00:53:08,653 --> 00:53:11,256 Sod it! Let's make some noise! 951 00:53:17,728 --> 00:53:18,663 Oh, yes! 952 00:53:21,366 --> 00:53:22,967 In this new GT40, 953 00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:26,937 Ken Miles had racked up thousands of test hours. 954 00:53:27,004 --> 00:53:30,475 Now the car was no longer horribly unstable, 955 00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:34,879 but would sit rocksteady at 210mph. 956 00:53:34,945 --> 00:53:39,884 And the Brummie tank commander had the backing of Ford's huge R&D department, 957 00:53:39,950 --> 00:53:42,653 who tackled the car's appalling reliability. 958 00:53:44,889 --> 00:53:47,558 The brakes no longer went into thermal shock 959 00:53:47,625 --> 00:53:49,960 at the end of the long straight. 960 00:53:50,027 --> 00:53:53,898 The engine and transmission were run on a computerised test rig 961 00:53:53,964 --> 00:53:58,035 that simulated the whole of the 24-Hour Le Mans race. 962 00:53:58,102 --> 00:54:00,671 Now, that's standard practice in Formula One today, 963 00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:04,409 but in 1966 that was witchcraft. 964 00:54:06,411 --> 00:54:09,347 They weren't mucking about, these blokes. 965 00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:12,049 But neither were the opposition. 966 00:54:12,116 --> 00:54:15,320 Over in Italy, in response to the new threat, 967 00:54:15,386 --> 00:54:17,755 Ferrari produced this. 968 00:54:24,228 --> 00:54:28,899 Called the P3, it looked as sleek as a GT40. 969 00:54:28,966 --> 00:54:33,771 And at just 37.4 inches tall, it was even lower. 970 00:54:38,443 --> 00:54:40,378 Avanti! 971 00:54:43,348 --> 00:54:45,650 Whoo! Holy mother! 972 00:54:45,716 --> 00:54:49,053 I best be a little bit careful on this narrow road. 973 00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:51,856 It's worth £20 million. 974 00:54:53,824 --> 00:54:59,364 Where the GT40 boasted a top speed of over 210mph, 975 00:54:59,397 --> 00:55:02,600 the P3 maxed out at just 190. 976 00:55:02,667 --> 00:55:08,773 But Enzo Ferrari was willing to trade outright speed for gains elsewhere. 977 00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,510 The Ferrari was lighter, it was more agile. 978 00:55:12,577 --> 00:55:15,946 Ferrari reckoned he could make up the difference in the bends, 979 00:55:16,013 --> 00:55:19,384 and he wouldn't have to stop so often for fuel. 980 00:55:20,985 --> 00:55:24,489 A David and Goliath battle was looming. 981 00:55:24,555 --> 00:55:30,094 At the 1966 Le Mans race, Ford arrived with an armada - 982 00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:33,398 eight cars, 20 tonnes of spares, 983 00:55:33,464 --> 00:55:35,800 and a squad of world-class drivers, 984 00:55:35,866 --> 00:55:38,436 including Ken Miles himself. 985 00:55:38,503 --> 00:55:42,907 In comparison, Ferrari turned up with just a trio of P3s, 986 00:55:42,973 --> 00:55:44,875 but Enzo had an ace up his sleeve - 987 00:55:44,942 --> 00:55:48,613 the undisputed fastest driver on the planet, 988 00:55:48,679 --> 00:55:53,183 Formula One World Champion John Surtees. 989 00:55:53,250 --> 00:55:59,590 He came to me and said, "John... we've got to beat the Fords. Go out and do it." 990 00:55:59,657 --> 00:56:01,225 I thought there was only one tactic - 991 00:56:01,291 --> 00:56:04,929 to have at least one car be the hare. 992 00:56:04,995 --> 00:56:09,434 I said, "Look, I don't mind being the hare." 993 00:56:09,434 --> 00:56:11,235 "The moment that flag goes down, 994 00:56:11,301 --> 00:56:13,237 we need to be - bang - off," 995 00:56:13,303 --> 00:56:18,108 tempting the Ford drivers to perhaps overdrive a little bit. 996 00:56:18,175 --> 00:56:21,111 If one could push them hard enough for long enough, 997 00:56:21,178 --> 00:56:26,316 then there is more likelihood, obviously, of being able to break them. 998 00:56:26,451 --> 00:56:28,152 The plan was set. 999 00:56:28,218 --> 00:56:32,457 But, as zero hour approached, everything unravelled. 1000 00:56:32,523 --> 00:56:35,693 Shortly before the race, we learned that he wasn't going to drive, 1001 00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,495 and we asked him about it. 1002 00:56:37,562 --> 00:56:41,265 Yes, unfortunately you've heard correct. I won't be driving. 1003 00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:43,333 What is the reason? 1004 00:56:43,468 --> 00:56:46,471 Well, I suppose it's best summed up at this stage 1005 00:56:46,504 --> 00:56:49,006 by saying "political reasons." 1006 00:56:49,073 --> 00:56:51,341 The problem was that the Ferrari team manager 1007 00:56:51,476 --> 00:56:53,744 was playing his own political game. 1008 00:56:53,811 --> 00:56:56,213 He had no particular liking for Surtees, 1009 00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:57,848 and he nominated another driver 1010 00:56:57,915 --> 00:57:00,951 to go out and start the race, to be the hare, 1011 00:57:01,018 --> 00:57:06,591 even though Surtees was clearly the fastest man available. 1012 00:57:06,657 --> 00:57:11,195 And I just stormed away, drove back, and had it out with the old man. 1013 00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:13,498 As the Italian papers put it, 1014 00:57:13,531 --> 00:57:17,602 they showed a picture of me walking out the gates and saying, 1015 00:57:17,668 --> 00:57:22,507 "The divorce of John Surtees and Enzo." 1016 00:57:24,675 --> 00:57:26,777 With Surtees out of the way, 1017 00:57:26,844 --> 00:57:30,014 the Fords took the top four slots in qualifying. 1018 00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:34,519 And as the clock ticked down, Henry Ford II prepared to drop the flag, 1019 00:57:34,585 --> 00:57:40,424 praying that, this time, he would get his revenge. 1020 00:57:40,525 --> 00:57:44,194 Live from Le Mans, France, it's the 24 Hours of Le Mans. 1021 00:57:57,007 --> 00:57:59,544 At first, the Fords stormed into the lead. 1022 00:57:59,577 --> 00:58:01,411 But a few hours in, 1023 00:58:01,546 --> 00:58:07,552 it was beginning to look like a depressing repeat of '64 and '65. 1024 00:58:07,552 --> 00:58:10,387 As night fell, the Ferraris, using their greater agility 1025 00:58:10,454 --> 00:58:12,356 and their greater fuel efficiency, 1026 00:58:12,422 --> 00:58:14,458 were leading the race one-two. 1027 00:58:14,559 --> 00:58:20,565 Four of the eight GT40s were out of the race altogether. 1028 00:58:20,598 --> 00:58:25,603 Worse still, the Ford drivers had strict orders not to go balls-out 1029 00:58:25,670 --> 00:58:29,073 for fear of breaking the cars. 1030 00:58:29,139 --> 00:58:32,209 But one man wasn't listening to those orders. 1031 00:58:32,276 --> 00:58:34,144 Ken Miles put the hammer down, 1032 00:58:34,211 --> 00:58:37,815 set blistering lap times, and retook the lead for Ford. 1033 00:58:39,349 --> 00:58:42,587 The Ferraris had no response to this crushing pace, 1034 00:58:42,587 --> 00:58:46,791 and by morning, they had either broken down or crashed. 1035 00:58:48,626 --> 00:58:51,696 That afternoon, Henry Ford watched his cars cruise home 1036 00:58:51,762 --> 00:58:55,099 to a spectacular one-two-three finish. 1037 00:58:58,202 --> 00:59:02,272 First place for the Ford GT Mk II, 1038 00:59:02,339 --> 00:59:06,443 and a first-time win for America at Le Mans. 1039 00:59:06,510 --> 00:59:10,615 Ford would go on to win their next four Le Mans races. 1040 00:59:10,615 --> 00:59:13,784 But the man who had contributed so much to the team 1041 00:59:13,851 --> 00:59:15,920 didn't get to see these triumphs. 1042 00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:19,624 Ken Miles was killed two months after their first win, 1043 00:59:19,657 --> 00:59:22,326 testing the latest GT40. 1044 00:59:24,629 --> 00:59:28,232 It's impossible to calculate how much Henry Ford spent 1045 00:59:28,298 --> 00:59:30,901 on his three-year campaign to break Ferrari, 1046 00:59:30,968 --> 00:59:33,203 but experts reckon that, at the very least, 1047 00:59:33,270 --> 00:59:38,709 in today's money, it was £360 million. 1048 00:59:38,776 --> 00:59:42,647 Now, that's a big bill for settling a spat with an angry Italian. 1049 00:59:44,649 --> 00:59:47,184 But look what we got out of it - 1050 00:59:47,251 --> 00:59:49,887 one of the world's greatest cars. 1051 00:59:56,927 --> 00:59:58,395 Very good. 1052 00:59:58,462 --> 01:00:00,364 That was good. Very good. 1053 01:00:07,037 --> 01:00:09,139 -I hate you. -I know. 1054 01:00:09,206 --> 01:00:14,144 No, but I really hate you now, cos you've driven a Ford GT40, and I never have. 1055 01:00:14,211 --> 01:00:16,847 I mean, next week are you gonna lick Helena Christensen? 1056 01:00:16,914 --> 01:00:18,382 Look... 1057 01:00:18,448 --> 01:00:21,819 I'm sure you could drive a GT40 if you really wanted to. 1058 01:00:21,886 --> 01:00:23,387 I can't, I'm too tall. 1059 01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:25,289 Yeah, you mean fat. 1060 01:00:34,799 --> 01:00:37,201 Tall. 1061 01:00:37,267 --> 01:00:39,036 Horizontally tall. 1062 01:00:40,237 --> 01:00:42,439 Well, listen, whatever dimension is the problem, 1063 01:00:42,506 --> 01:00:44,041 I can't drive one. 1064 01:00:44,108 --> 01:00:47,044 And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end. 1065 01:00:47,111 --> 01:00:49,613 Thank you so much for watching. Good night. 1065 01:00:50,305 --> 01:00:56,907 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/86hg5 Help other users to choose the best subtitles