1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,264 Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,092 How could I not remember? 3 00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,745 When people experience a loss of time, 4 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,009 it's often because they've been abducted by aliens. 5 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,401 I'm an alien. 6 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,403 We are very good at changing people's memories. 7 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:15,580 FBI. The murderer is not Harry Vanderspeigle. 8 00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,626 Guess what--you're not getting your ball back. 9 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,976 I've hidden it where you'll never find it. 10 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,282 Abigail Hodges, you're under arrest 11 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:22,848 for the murder of Sam Hodges. 12 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:25,025 I have built a radio. 13 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,504 The signal will tell my people 14 00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:29,899 not to come and kill everyone... 15 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,161 for 50 years. 16 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:34,817 - We need to stop it! - No! 17 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,253 It's receiving a signal. 18 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:39,778 It's a phone number from New York City. 19 00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,693 Sunny went into labor all of a sudden. 20 00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:45,567 - I can fix it. - Let the doctor do his job. 21 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,743 I've held a lot of babies since Jay was born. 22 00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:52,139 I understand now why you feel guilty. 23 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:02,192 ♪ 24 00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:05,413 - Go after him. 25 00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,067 Flush him out. I'll meet you on the other side. 26 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,242 I got it. 27 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:11,114 Police, drop the weapon! 28 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,724 Shit. 29 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,075 Dispatch, this is unit 92. I got shots fired. 30 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,685 Need backup at my location. 31 00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:19,166 Jesse! Jesse! - Copy that. 32 00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,645 Backup en route. 33 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:24,997 Jesse? 34 00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,266 I got an officer down. 35 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:43,059 Mike. 36 00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,671 Come on, man, I know you're in there. 37 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,462 - Bill, I can't do that, man. 38 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:58,074 Mike, you're the only one he would have trusted with him. 39 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:05,995 ♪ 40 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,434 You take care of yourself, okay? 41 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,871 Thanks. Thanks, man. 42 00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:20,140 I miss him, too, Cletus. 43 00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:24,274 Welcome to your new home. 44 00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:34,719 ♪ 45 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,635 1,900 miles-- 46 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,551 that's how close I am to New York City, 47 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:42,640 to one of my people. 48 00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:45,948 1,900 miles from standing in front of a being 49 00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,471 who knows what I know... 50 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:50,866 who has stood in the ice wind desert as a child. 51 00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:53,216 I am different now. 52 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,957 Asta knows this version of me, 53 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,352 but I am 1,900 miles from being with someone 54 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,789 who knows the alien part of me-- 55 00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:02,965 the real me. 56 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:08,405 So why can I not dial this number? 57 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:13,410 ♪ Hoodoos 58 00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,543 ♪ 59 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:19,721 ♪ Do not take their shape for you ♪ 60 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:24,116 ♪ Trace your eye down their rocky spire ♪ 61 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,251 ♪ Laced with limestone and wind and fire ♪ 62 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,035 ♪ 63 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,037 - Hey. - Oh. 64 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,256 Hey. 65 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,563 ♪ 66 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,782 It was nice to talk to you last night. 67 00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:41,482 Kind of felt like old times again. 68 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,353 What? - Oh. 69 00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,094 W-what--what are you upset about? 70 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,488 Nothing happened. All we did was talk about Jay. 71 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,533 - Yeah, I know. - Asta. 72 00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,927 - I shouldn't have come here. - I did-- 73 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:56,758 Please, you don't have to go. - Yes, I do. 74 00:03:56,801 --> 00:04:00,109 ♪ It lives in a fistful of sky ♪ 75 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:06,289 ♪ Just beyond your reach 76 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,596 ♪ 77 00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,294 Nice seeing you at Laurant's last night. 78 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,992 Mm, mm. 79 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:21,074 Enjoy Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 80 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,655 I saw you left pretty quickly. 81 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,919 You know, if there's ever anything 82 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,660 you want to talk about, like, no big deal, 83 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,749 but you can talk to me. 84 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:37,102 Thank you, Deputy. 85 00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,235 Now that you mention it, 86 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,368 I'd like to know what you've been scribbling down 87 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,760 in your little notebook there. 88 00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:45,415 You doing another solo investigation? 89 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,593 Do you remember my dress you picked up from the cleaners? 90 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:52,161 The one I don't remember dropping off? 91 00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,336 And what dress you talking about? 92 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,859 You talking about that green dress, 93 00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:56,470 or you talking about that dress you talk about every day 94 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,993 like it's some kind of government conspiracy? 95 00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:00,865 - You have to admit it's weird. 96 00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,912 Basically the whole day is a blank. 97 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,566 Do you remember it? - I mean, no. 98 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:07,089 But I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning. 99 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,830 You know, ask me what color socks I'm wearing. 100 00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,789 What color socks are you wearing? 101 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,400 Well, actually, I'm wearing black socks 102 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:14,836 'cause that's all I own-- is black socks. 103 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,446 But if I did own socks that was a different color, 104 00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,143 I wouldn't remember what color I was wearing. 105 00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,319 You know why? It don't matter. 106 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:22,060 Sir, you might want to look at this. 107 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:26,500 What the hell she doing? That's Miss Taylor bike. 108 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:30,112 Oh, shit. Hell, no. Hell, no! 109 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,854 Hey, get off that bike! Get off that damn bike! 110 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,464 That ain't your bike. - Come on, Sheriff! 111 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,771 Hey, I can outrun that bike! 112 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,383 Ellen? 113 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,822 Hey, Ellen, can you cover for me? 114 00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,433 I got to take care of something. 115 00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:47,999 - Sure. - Okay. Thanks. 116 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:48,957 I won't be long. 117 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,269 Close call. 118 00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:58,662 Almost as close as you were 119 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,012 to getting your eye poked out by a tree. 120 00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:04,842 In my defense, I had just had dinner with my parents. 121 00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,454 Also, that tree was waving pretty wildly. 122 00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:10,370 Listen, as a medical professional, 123 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:13,024 I suggest you drink a little less. 124 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:17,028 But as a single bitch living in this dead-ass town, 125 00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,944 I suggest you invite me out next time. 126 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,511 Wow. 127 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:22,730 All right. 128 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,254 - Yeah, there's more of that. - Okay. 129 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,780 ♪ 130 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:32,653 What do you mean you got a phone number from an alien? 131 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,785 Why didn't you tell me sooner? What did they say? 132 00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:38,223 Well, I did not call. It might be a trap. 133 00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,008 It's not a trap. 134 00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,749 If you worried more about traps, 135 00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,925 then you would still be in the ocean 136 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:47,668 instead of in a box of water in the mountains. 137 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,974 Does this thing have to keep popping into my head? 138 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:51,454 You think I like it in there? 139 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,151 It's darker than the woods in a Tim Burton movie. 140 00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:55,066 You shut the hell up about what's in my head 141 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,199 and stop putting the TV on in front of this thing. 142 00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,940 He's not calling 143 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:01,595 because he's afraid his people will reject him. 144 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,248 He's worried he's too human. 145 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,772 That is a lie! 146 00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:07,905 Liars do not get food. - I'm kidding. 147 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,646 Can't you take a joke? It's obviously a trap. 148 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,561 Good octopus. 149 00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,650 Okay. We don't have any other leads. 150 00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:16,348 And if we don't do anything, everyone is going to die. 151 00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:19,090 So, if you don't call that phone number, I will. 152 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,570 Fine. 153 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,747 Okay. 154 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:25,227 - Mm. 155 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,579 Hello. Can I talk to the alien, please? 156 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,495 Mm. 157 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,715 He hung up. 158 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,195 He knows my mother. 159 00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,980 And they had intercourse. 160 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,071 Demelio's Pizzeria, East Third Street. 161 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,508 Pack your bags. We're going to New York. 162 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,598 I cannot go to New York. The octopus is right. 163 00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,818 I have changed. I am too human. 164 00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,776 What if the alien will not help me? 165 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,735 I heard that. He just admitted it. 166 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,780 Get out of my head. 167 00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,309 Well, answer it. It might be them. 168 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,138 ♪ 169 00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,183 Hello? 170 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,446 Morning, Doc. It's the Sheriff. 171 00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:17,322 Hi, Dad. 172 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,682 This is weird-- she looks like me, 173 00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,684 if I fell face-first into a pile of metal. 174 00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:31,902 At first, I thought she was just 175 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,600 some hippie drifter from Boulder, 176 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:36,777 but, uh, then she showed me this right here. 177 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,436 I remember this. 178 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,830 This was the day she sat on my knee, 179 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,440 and we looked at the camera, 180 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,007 and that person took our photograph. 181 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:53,358 Yes, the daughter you've been telling me so much about, 182 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,012 from your first wife before Isabelle, 183 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,188 and her name is... 184 00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,495 right on the tip of my tongue. 185 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,718 Um, I think she said Liza. 186 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:07,242 Liza is her name. 187 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,244 - Liza is her name. - Mm-hmm. 188 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,507 I'm very fertile. 189 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,902 This is my sweet little girl. 190 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:17,078 Well, we caught your sweet little girl 191 00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,296 trying to steal a bike. 192 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,733 It turns out she's got a record 193 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,648 for shoplifting in, uh, New Mexico. 194 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,433 Her mama sent her to a camp for troubled teens, 195 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,653 but she ran away 'cause she's troubled. 196 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,307 She also pulled my hair. 197 00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:31,788 It didn't hurt, though. I have strong roots. 198 00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,747 Are you even aware of what's going on 199 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,226 with your daughter, Doc? - Yes. 200 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:39,361 Thank you for arresting her and throwing her in jail. 201 00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:41,537 Well, hold on--I don't think there's any need for that, 202 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,973 at least not yet. 203 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,801 I'm all right with releasing her into your custody. 204 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:48,588 No, you throw her in jail. 205 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:51,373 He's joking. 206 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:54,158 He'll take her home. 207 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:57,292 Is this how humans feel when they have a child-- 208 00:09:57,335 --> 00:10:01,470 angry and resentful for having to care for a tiny thing? 209 00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:03,167 If she were a pet bird, 210 00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,648 I would leave the cage door open 211 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,955 and the ceiling fan on. 212 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:12,089 So, Liza, boot camp, huh? Why were you sent there? 213 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,309 - Murder. - Cool. 214 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,659 Maybe we should call your mom, have her come pick you up. 215 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,530 Good luck-- my mom is in Italy right now, 216 00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,924 getting fingered on a Vespa. 217 00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,230 Good talk. 218 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:26,974 It's a bad--it's a bad talk. That was bad. 219 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,541 Why are you acting so weird? 220 00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:32,544 Wait, are you high? 221 00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:34,503 Yes. 222 00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:37,245 Yes, he is. Ugh. 223 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,682 It's legal in Colorado. 224 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,642 Do not bum my stone, man. 225 00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,600 Go home to your mother. 226 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,211 Asta will take you to the airport. 227 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,691 That was quick. 228 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,040 You usually at least pretend 229 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,695 for a few days before you tell me to leave. 230 00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,089 I'll make it real easy for you. Have a nice life. 231 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:58,135 Okay, I will. 232 00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,660 Where is the bacon lady? 233 00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:03,184 - You can't just let her leave. - Mm? 234 00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:04,489 She wants to go. 235 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:07,841 She wants her father. We have to help her. 236 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,017 An hour ago, you wanted to go to New York 237 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,236 to save the rest of the humans. 238 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,760 You are flip-floppy. 239 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,849 She happens to be one of those humans. 240 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,286 You killed her father, 241 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,245 so we are staying here until we get her safely home. 242 00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,816 She does not need our help. 243 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:29,384 She's already making friends. 244 00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:30,907 Shit. 245 00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,302 I think we can make that happen, yeah. 246 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,782 You ever been on one before? - Oh, yes. 247 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,479 Let's do this thing. 248 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:39,655 - Hey, nice bike. - Thanks. 249 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,135 I had the same one in high school. 250 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,964 She's 16, so get the hell out of here. 251 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,228 Faster. 252 00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,580 You're not my mother. 253 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:52,886 I know. She's doing the Vespa thing. 254 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,062 Look, I want to help you. 255 00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,977 Because you're my dad's newest sex toy? 256 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,719 Oh, my God, knock it off. We just work together. 257 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:02,243 Yeah, you're a little too old for him. 258 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:05,246 Look, my mom left me when I was a baby, 259 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,423 so I know a few things about being abandoned. 260 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,033 So now I'm your therapist? 261 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,296 - You know what? Eat shit. 262 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,689 Yeah. Laugh it off. 263 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,909 And have a little pity party while you're at it. 264 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,780 I'm not going to let you get on a motorcycle 265 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:21,001 and get beat up by some asshole biker, okay? 266 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:33,274 ♪ 267 00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,842 Did you really used to have that motorcycle? 268 00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:38,845 No, my asshole biker boyfriend did. 269 00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:43,588 ♪ 270 00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:47,157 I don't think my mom even wanted to go to Italy. 271 00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:50,378 I think she just needed an excuse to ship me off. 272 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:55,818 I figured... 273 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,038 I hadn't seen my dad in a while. 274 00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:02,433 I was just borrowing that bike to get to the cabin. 275 00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,740 I'm not a thief. 276 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,090 Not really. 277 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,701 I mean, I do steal a lot of shit. 278 00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,231 Something's different. 279 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:21,888 At least he used to go through the motions of being a father. 280 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:25,239 Yeah, well... 281 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:28,633 he's not the same man you used to know. 282 00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:30,897 Maybe just give him a chance. 283 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:38,730 I really miss you, Aunt Cathy. 284 00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,776 You were the only one I ever told 285 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,344 about the UFO I saw when I was a kid... 286 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:44,562 except John. 287 00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:48,436 He thinks I'm crazy but loves me anyway. 288 00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,832 God, I really hope you can hear me. 289 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,443 Aunt Cathy, if you're listening, 290 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,401 please give me a sign. 291 00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:58,968 - Liv! - Oh! 292 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:01,014 - Hey, Liv. - Hey. 293 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,363 Just bringing Max by. 294 00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,713 His first father-son trip to the cemetery. 295 00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,889 - What is that tall thing? - Ah. 296 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,849 That is a monument honoring the 59. 297 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,372 The star on top represents 298 00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,765 the man that they went back to save. 299 00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,419 It's more than a monument. 300 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:18,031 They're all actually buried under there. 301 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,250 It's a mass grave kind of thing. 302 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,339 Awesome. 303 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:25,081 Really? Huh. 304 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,388 Well, uh, you'll be happy to hear this year 305 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:30,173 at Patience Family Day the theme is "Remember When." 306 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:33,916 So we'll be honoring the 59-- Max stop digging. 307 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,918 I'm trying to rebrand the whole narrative, 308 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,746 you know, just remind people that 309 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,922 these aren't just 59 dead men. 310 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,706 You know, these are--these are heroes. 311 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,099 Mm, that sounds great. 312 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:44,753 Yeah. We're going to have mining-themed games. 313 00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,233 Kids are putting on a play 314 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,974 written by yours truly. - Ah. 315 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,932 Hey, maybe even get real authentic-- 316 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,586 swap out the toilet paper in the porta-potties 317 00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:54,197 for corn husks. - Yeah, maybe not that one. 318 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:55,416 Ah, I already started shucking. 319 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,418 Well, uh, good to see you. - Yeah. 320 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,898 Okay. Come on, Max. 321 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,857 Hey, Max, I've been meaning to ask you something. 322 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,598 You know that sketch you had me do-- 323 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,034 the--the one of the alien? 324 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:09,343 Oh, um... yeah, I made all that stuff up. 325 00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:10,648 Aliens aren't real. 326 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:17,829 ♪ 327 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,619 Well, it looks like she's been here before. 328 00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:26,099 Nice talking with you. 329 00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,797 This is a bad idea. I do not like children. 330 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,190 Yes, you do. 331 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,887 I saw the way you looked at Sunny's baby. 332 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,890 That is different. A baby is tiny. 333 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,283 And it doesn't speak. 334 00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:38,633 Well, every baby grows into a Liza. 335 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,548 Then why do you feed them? 336 00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:43,986 'Cause if you don't, they will die. 337 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,554 No, mm-mm. Don't even think about it. 338 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,164 Anything happens to her or if she leaves, 339 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,818 we will have much bigger problems. 340 00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:52,299 Okay, keep her alive and happy 341 00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:54,170 until her mom comes home in a few days 342 00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:57,217 and we go to New York and save humanity. 343 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:02,396 Also, try to act as normal as possible 344 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,920 and keep the door to your alien bunker locked 345 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,401 and the talking octopus in your room. 346 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,230 I have got this. 347 00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,275 I can be a good father. 348 00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,147 I've seen a lot of television. 349 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,410 Ugh, what happened to the Wi-Fi? 350 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,194 And it smells like dead people up here. 351 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:21,981 Then you should take a shower... 352 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,634 my darling daughter. 353 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:34,297 ♪ Adiós, mi amigo, adiós 354 00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,299 Hey, hey, hey! 355 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:41,304 ♪ 356 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,962 Buddy, you took my spot. 357 00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,660 Glad to see you got a new truck. 358 00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:52,141 It was the, uh, problem with the emergency brake 359 00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,969 on the last one, right? - Oh, you're real funny. 360 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,449 You could have killed someone. 361 00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,059 Now you're pretending to care about other people. 362 00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:00,280 Hey, maybe show me how much you care with your fist. 363 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:01,977 That's you do things, right? 364 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,413 Looks like you already lost one fight today. 365 00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,285 But keep playing with me, and we'll make it two. 366 00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,026 It would be the honor of my life 367 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,636 to lay your ass out. 368 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,594 In fact, I'll do it twice-- once for me, once for Asta. 369 00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:11,769 Well, if she's so upset, 370 00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,033 why did she stay at my house last night? 371 00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:16,557 Mm. 372 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,211 Bullshit. 373 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,049 Yeah, good to see you. 374 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,052 Hey, hey. 375 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,011 Got some good news. 376 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,013 Oh, yeah, the Nats won four in a row. 377 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,667 I'm not talking about the Nationals. 378 00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:42,104 My biopsy came back negative. 379 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,845 Biopsy? What biopsy? 380 00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:45,238 You're the one who kept nagging me 381 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:46,630 to get my mole checked. 382 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,197 You drove me to the clinic. 383 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,460 What? When? 384 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,201 Two weeks ago. 385 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,290 Well, obviously you didn't tell me it was for a biopsy, 386 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,639 or I would have remembered. 387 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:58,294 Of course I told you. 388 00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:01,689 You ain't been the same since D.C. 389 00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,038 You got to deal with that. 390 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,040 See a doctor, psychiatrist, 391 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,650 hell, anybody. - Mm-hmm. 392 00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,175 Tell me, why exactly should I take mental-health advice 393 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,220 from somebody who stayed holed up in the house, 394 00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,048 refusing to speak to anybody for six months 395 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,615 when Mama died, huh? 396 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,834 Yeah, well, I'm not the one carrying a deadly weapon. 397 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,140 Okay, all right, you know what? 398 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,968 Is this--is this what we have now? Is this us? 399 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,796 We just gonna fight all the time? 400 00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,145 I got friends. They got dads. 401 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,538 They go to games. They go fishing and shit. 402 00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:26,235 We ain't done nothing like that since I was a kid. 403 00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,237 Instead, all I got is you sitting across from me 404 00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,239 telling me all the things you think are wrong with me. 405 00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,241 You're a young man. 406 00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,548 It's not normal to forget stuff like that. 407 00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:39,640 ♪ 408 00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:44,035 ♪ 409 00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:47,648 - What are we eating? 410 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:50,651 This is missing something. What is it? 411 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:53,219 Oh, right, flavor. 412 00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:57,353 Have you ever heard of salt or a-a vegetable maybe? 413 00:18:57,397 --> 00:19:00,008 I did have some vegetables, 414 00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,836 but they grew organisms on them. 415 00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,490 You know I can't eat gluten. 416 00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,709 Did you forget that, or are you purposely trying to kill me? 417 00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,798 Would gluten kill you? 418 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,931 - I'll just starve. - Mm. 419 00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:12,325 You need to call my boot camp and tell them that I'm with you 420 00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,935 and I'm too sick to go back. 421 00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,893 That would be lying. 422 00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:19,549 Lying is bad, young lady. 423 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,986 I will now discipline you 424 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:25,555 by sending you to bed without supper. 425 00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:28,079 ♪ 426 00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,429 I already told you-- 427 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,126 I'm not going to eat your shitty gut-bomb pasta. 428 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,651 Fine. Fine. Fine. 429 00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:37,437 More--more gluten for me. 430 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,786 Enjoy. 431 00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:40,353 I am. 432 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:45,053 I know you feel like you're different. 433 00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:47,229 You are different. 434 00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:50,580 You can see what's going on. 435 00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,147 Aliens are real. 436 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,714 Hey, uh, Deputy, where are you? 437 00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:57,413 That car was supposed to be back an hour ago. 438 00:19:57,457 --> 00:20:00,721 Uh, just at the market picking up supplies 439 00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,418 for the break room. - Hey, uh, Dep. 440 00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:04,028 You know what? While you're there, 441 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,204 go ahead and pick me up a lotto ticket. 442 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,118 Go ahead pick up one for Cletus, too. 443 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,555 Sure thing, Sheriff. 444 00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:11,035 - You want a lotto ticket? 445 00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:15,344 You spent the night at Jimmy's? 446 00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,782 - It's not what you think. - What is wrong with you? 447 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,567 How do you even get within ten feet of that creep 448 00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,743 without ripping his face off? - Shh. 449 00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:27,269 We had to deliver my cousin Sunny's baby, okay? 450 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,271 It messed with my head. 451 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:32,231 Okay, great. So call your friends. 452 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:35,321 - You don't understand. - No, I really don't. 453 00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,540 Well, Jimmy does, so it's not a terrible surprise 454 00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:40,500 that I want to talk to him about it and not you. 455 00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,371 I guess I'm just somebody who doesn't like watching 456 00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,199 their best friend ruin their life. 457 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,766 Oh, really? 458 00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,334 And that's just something for me to do? 459 00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:49,813 What is that supposed to mean? 460 00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,641 You think I don't know that you come in here 461 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:52,729 for hangover IVs? 462 00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,165 Sorry, D'arcy. 463 00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:56,298 You want to talk about watching friends ruin lives? 464 00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,344 Let's talk about it. - You know, it's weird. 465 00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:00,259 You didn't seem worried about this 466 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,347 until I started helping Jay. 467 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,000 Oh, is that what you're doing? 468 00:21:03,044 --> 00:21:05,133 You're "helping" her? 469 00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:06,526 Yes. 470 00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,789 She needs somebody to talk to. 471 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,530 Maybe she'll listen to my dating advice. 472 00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:12,532 I'm not so sure you're the best person 473 00:21:12,575 --> 00:21:14,447 to be giving advice about men. 474 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:15,839 Wow. 475 00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:17,406 D'arce. 476 00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:18,712 Okay. 477 00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:34,336 ♪ 478 00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:35,859 Where's Murphy? 479 00:21:35,903 --> 00:21:39,646 ♪ 480 00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,517 "If you ever want to see your dog again, 481 00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:43,824 return my alien ball--Alien." 482 00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:45,782 It's not even your dog. 483 00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:48,785 We win again. - No, we don't. 484 00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:50,613 Murphy's my responsibility. 485 00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:52,615 Her owners pay me to walk her. 486 00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:55,139 We have to get her back. 487 00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:57,359 Humans are obsessed with pets. 488 00:21:57,403 --> 00:22:00,057 If I give Liza this slobbering lump of fur, 489 00:22:00,101 --> 00:22:03,147 she will become so distracted taking care of the dog, 490 00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:05,280 I won't have to take care of her. 491 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:09,589 Liza, dear child, I have a gift for you. 492 00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:14,245 Mm-hmm. 493 00:22:14,289 --> 00:22:15,464 A dog? 494 00:22:15,508 --> 00:22:17,466 What am I supposed to do with that thing? 495 00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:19,338 You know mom's allergic. 496 00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:26,475 This will be more difficult than I first thought. 497 00:22:32,089 --> 00:22:36,050 ♪ Can't you see me smiling, baby? ♪ 498 00:22:36,093 --> 00:22:40,228 ♪ Can't you see this face of mine? ♪ 499 00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:43,492 ♪ Can't you see I'm getting tired? ♪ 500 00:22:43,536 --> 00:22:46,669 ♪ Even though I seem all right ♪ 501 00:22:46,713 --> 00:22:49,063 ♪ 502 00:22:49,106 --> 00:22:52,240 ♪ It's not my life I'm worried about ♪ 503 00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:56,592 ♪ Or my health, if it's weak or strong ♪ 504 00:22:56,636 --> 00:23:00,509 ♪ Ooh, it's just who I need, girl ♪ 505 00:23:00,553 --> 00:23:02,032 Ew. 506 00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:05,035 ♪ And who I hurt 507 00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:07,647 ♪ Go on by 508 00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:10,214 No, there's a-- 509 00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:11,520 You-- 510 00:23:11,564 --> 00:23:13,957 Got the balloon arch going. 511 00:23:14,001 --> 00:23:17,178 This guy, old prospector-- looking great, everyone. 512 00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:19,049 - Hi, Kayla. - Hey, Kate. 513 00:23:19,093 --> 00:23:21,312 Uh, isn't the booth supposed to be 514 00:23:21,356 --> 00:23:23,706 just back a couple feet? - Yeah, there was a rock there. 515 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:27,362 See, all the booths are supposed to be 30 feet apart. 516 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,146 Did you know that the human brain 517 00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:31,235 gets pleasure from symmetry? 518 00:23:31,279 --> 00:23:33,237 Did you know that the human ankle gets pain 519 00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,805 from breaking itself on a rock? 520 00:23:35,849 --> 00:23:37,677 Oh, no. 521 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,592 Why is there a murderer here? 522 00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:42,072 - Innocent until proven guilty. - Innocent? 523 00:23:42,116 --> 00:23:43,465 She's holding a weapon. 524 00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:46,555 - Honey, it's a paintbrush. - That's a weapon. 525 00:23:46,599 --> 00:23:48,905 "Hi. What would you like me to paint on your face-- 526 00:23:48,949 --> 00:23:50,429 a nice little birdie?" 527 00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,213 "Take that kid." 528 00:23:54,911 --> 00:23:57,000 Keep an eye on her. 529 00:23:59,263 --> 00:24:00,830 It's good to see you. 530 00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:04,791 - This is stupid. - It is not stupid. 531 00:24:04,834 --> 00:24:06,749 This is Patience Family Day. 532 00:24:06,793 --> 00:24:08,316 We are a family in Patience, 533 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,624 and this is what families in Patience do on this day. 534 00:24:11,667 --> 00:24:13,669 If she were home with me for one more second, 535 00:24:13,713 --> 00:24:16,759 I would kill her and feed her to my hungry octopus. 536 00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:18,021 Can I at least drive? 537 00:24:18,065 --> 00:24:21,721 - Will you stop complaining? - Yes. 538 00:24:21,764 --> 00:24:23,940 - Okay. - Yes! 539 00:24:26,943 --> 00:24:32,688 ♪ 540 00:24:32,732 --> 00:24:34,603 Hurry. 541 00:24:34,647 --> 00:24:36,039 Okay. 542 00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:40,957 ♪ 543 00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:43,960 Okay. Try not to kill us. 544 00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:45,658 Calm down. It's fine. 545 00:24:45,701 --> 00:24:47,268 This is a nightmare. 546 00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:49,792 How do human parents teach driving to their children 547 00:24:49,836 --> 00:24:51,315 without being terrified? 548 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,188 The truck sounds like it wants you to shift now. 549 00:24:56,146 --> 00:24:58,845 Oh, let's put on some tunes. 550 00:24:58,888 --> 00:25:01,804 Wait, watch out! 551 00:25:01,848 --> 00:25:05,634 - Stop being a backseat driver. - There is no back seat. 552 00:25:05,678 --> 00:25:07,810 It is a truck. 553 00:25:07,854 --> 00:25:11,074 It is a nice day, and... 554 00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:12,859 that is a beautiful stop sign approaching. 555 00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:14,513 You see it? - Where? 556 00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:15,775 There. 557 00:25:17,037 --> 00:25:18,212 Watch it, asshole! 558 00:25:18,255 --> 00:25:20,519 Stop! That's it! Get out of that truck! 559 00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:22,608 You are the worst driver I've ever seen! 560 00:25:22,651 --> 00:25:26,133 You're a jerk. I was finally having some fun. 561 00:25:30,616 --> 00:25:32,574 Damn it. 562 00:25:34,315 --> 00:25:36,491 Come on, we got to hurry. We'll be late for the play. 563 00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:38,145 I don't want to give the ball back. 564 00:25:38,188 --> 00:25:39,973 We have no choice. 565 00:25:40,016 --> 00:25:41,365 Do you know what a kidnapping review 566 00:25:41,409 --> 00:25:43,585 will do to my whole dog-walking business? 567 00:25:45,587 --> 00:25:46,936 Wait. 568 00:25:46,980 --> 00:25:49,591 Someone's been here. The satellite dish is gone. 569 00:25:51,724 --> 00:25:53,726 Oh, no. 570 00:25:56,772 --> 00:26:02,691 ♪ 571 00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:04,301 The ball. 572 00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:08,741 Who took it? 573 00:26:08,784 --> 00:26:10,960 There's only one possibility. 574 00:26:11,004 --> 00:26:18,098 ♪ 575 00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:32,068 ♪ 576 00:26:42,862 --> 00:26:44,341 Asta. 577 00:26:44,385 --> 00:26:45,865 Hey, Harry. 578 00:26:45,908 --> 00:26:48,215 Thank you so much again for helping Sunny with her baby. 579 00:26:48,258 --> 00:26:49,477 You were amazing. 580 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,348 They are easy when they are babies. 581 00:26:51,392 --> 00:26:52,698 They cannot run away yet 582 00:26:52,741 --> 00:26:55,570 or almost kill you in a car accident. 583 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:57,050 Run away? Did Liza leave? 584 00:26:57,093 --> 00:26:58,573 Oh! - Oh! 585 00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:01,620 - Uh, found her. - Oh, yep, teenage daughter. 586 00:27:02,708 --> 00:27:04,405 Oh, Harry, maybe you should-- 587 00:27:04,448 --> 00:27:06,712 No. That's it. 588 00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:09,236 You are as bad at throwing 589 00:27:09,279 --> 00:27:12,065 as you are at driving! 590 00:27:12,108 --> 00:27:14,415 Well, I must be a pretty good driver, then, 591 00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:16,678 because you're soaking wet. 592 00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:21,422 You are the worst daughter that I have. 593 00:27:21,465 --> 00:27:23,903 I am your only daughter, you idiot! 594 00:27:23,946 --> 00:27:28,255 If I had another daughter and she was bad, 595 00:27:28,298 --> 00:27:30,605 you would be worse! 596 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,955 Please stop, you guys. 597 00:27:32,999 --> 00:27:35,784 Uh, we only have a limited number of balloons. 598 00:27:35,828 --> 00:27:38,700 And, Judy, uh, I-I appreciate you dressing on theme, 599 00:27:38,744 --> 00:27:40,267 but could you cover up the cleavage? 600 00:27:40,310 --> 00:27:41,529 There are children here. 601 00:27:41,572 --> 00:27:43,400 There's a theme? 602 00:27:43,444 --> 00:27:45,751 - Not okay! 603 00:27:45,794 --> 00:27:47,056 No! Hey! 604 00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:49,102 Not--not okay. Hey! - Get him. 605 00:27:49,145 --> 00:27:50,930 Summer fun, summer high jinks. 606 00:27:50,973 --> 00:27:53,584 Listen, you got to take it down here. 607 00:27:53,628 --> 00:27:54,629 Hey! - Ha ha ha! 608 00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,283 Okay, all right. 609 00:27:56,326 --> 00:27:57,719 Not okay! Oh! 610 00:28:00,766 --> 00:28:04,639 ♪ 611 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,902 I know you didn't kill Sam. 612 00:28:06,946 --> 00:28:08,948 Oh... 613 00:28:08,991 --> 00:28:11,515 you have no idea how much that means to me. 614 00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:17,826 Okay. Bird or butterfly? 615 00:28:17,870 --> 00:28:22,744 Uh, I was thinking more of a Ziggy Stardust-type thing. 616 00:28:22,788 --> 00:28:26,313 Oh, okay, I like it. Let's see now. 617 00:28:29,185 --> 00:28:35,888 ♪ 618 00:28:41,023 --> 00:28:44,287 Does the food you eat ever get caught in your lip metal? 619 00:28:47,029 --> 00:28:49,858 You're different than before, 620 00:28:49,902 --> 00:28:52,687 like, head-injury different. 621 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:55,255 You've changed. - Yes, I know. 622 00:28:55,298 --> 00:28:58,998 You ghosted me for, like, three years. 623 00:28:59,041 --> 00:29:00,695 I thought you hated me, 624 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,045 Then why did you come here? 625 00:29:03,089 --> 00:29:05,308 To be honest, I was afraid to. 626 00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:07,354 I mean... 627 00:29:07,397 --> 00:29:09,182 I've changed, too, obviously. 628 00:29:09,225 --> 00:29:12,011 I'm not the little girl you used to take fishing. 629 00:29:13,403 --> 00:29:14,883 But you're my family. 630 00:29:14,927 --> 00:29:17,451 I was hoping that'd be enough, 631 00:29:17,494 --> 00:29:18,887 'cause if it wasn't enough, 632 00:29:18,931 --> 00:29:23,370 I would have had to go back to that hellhole camp. 633 00:29:23,413 --> 00:29:25,633 Dial their phone number. 634 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:36,122 Hello, my name is Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle, 635 00:29:36,165 --> 00:29:39,603 and my daughter Liza isn't going to come back 636 00:29:39,647 --> 00:29:43,085 to your stupid camp. 637 00:29:43,129 --> 00:29:44,739 It is stupid. 638 00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:47,220 You are stupid. 639 00:29:47,263 --> 00:29:48,874 If you contact her again, 640 00:29:48,917 --> 00:29:50,832 I will find you and your family. 641 00:29:50,876 --> 00:29:52,747 That should cover it. 642 00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:54,967 Mm-hmm. 643 00:29:57,578 --> 00:29:59,319 Hey... 644 00:29:59,362 --> 00:30:00,842 win me a prize? 645 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,850 I will win myself a prize and consider giving it to you. 646 00:30:08,894 --> 00:30:10,243 Fair enough. 647 00:30:10,286 --> 00:30:16,379 ♪ 648 00:30:16,423 --> 00:30:19,774 All right, time for the 52nd Annual Family Day 649 00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,384 Hot Chili Pepper Eating Contest. 650 00:30:21,428 --> 00:30:23,517 - You should eat more. 651 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,954 No. Need to line the stomach. 652 00:30:25,998 --> 00:30:29,001 Trust me, I've won this contest every year since I was 13, 653 00:30:29,044 --> 00:30:30,872 except the year that Ethiopian exchange student 654 00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:32,265 threw me for a loop. 655 00:30:32,308 --> 00:30:34,354 Biniyam! - You're so gonna win. 656 00:30:34,397 --> 00:30:36,356 Have you seen everyone else at the table? 657 00:30:36,399 --> 00:30:37,618 They're all, like, adults. 658 00:30:37,661 --> 00:30:38,924 I'm an adult. 659 00:30:38,967 --> 00:30:42,014 - Shut up. No, you're not. - Okay. 660 00:30:42,057 --> 00:30:43,189 Will all remaining entrants 661 00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:44,843 please make their way to the table? 662 00:30:44,886 --> 00:30:47,410 Let's get started. - Whoo! Let's go, D'arce! 663 00:30:47,454 --> 00:30:49,543 I've been practicing with, like, hot things-- 664 00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:53,286 like, getting, like, big, hot things in my mouth. 665 00:30:53,329 --> 00:30:55,592 I mean, this is the first time its pepper. 666 00:30:55,636 --> 00:30:57,899 Okay, we are just about to start. 667 00:30:57,943 --> 00:31:01,207 - What are you doing? - What? I love spicy food. 668 00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:02,861 This isn't spicy food. 669 00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:04,688 This is the stuff they put a tiny bit of in 670 00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:06,386 to make spicy food. 671 00:31:06,429 --> 00:31:09,302 - Afraid I'm going to beat you? - I'm afraid you're gonna die. 672 00:31:09,345 --> 00:31:11,217 You're going down this year, skank. 673 00:31:11,260 --> 00:31:13,741 - Not as often as you. - True, true. 674 00:31:13,784 --> 00:31:16,483 First up is a very mild banana pepper. 675 00:31:16,526 --> 00:31:20,400 Eat! 676 00:31:24,578 --> 00:31:27,581 I'm on fire! 677 00:31:27,624 --> 00:31:31,237 Nope, nope, nope, I'm out! I'm out! 678 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,848 Ow. No, no, no. 679 00:31:35,981 --> 00:31:38,113 Oh, hey, Doc, um... 680 00:31:38,157 --> 00:31:40,942 can I talk to you in private for a minute? 681 00:31:40,986 --> 00:31:42,552 Nice alien. 682 00:31:42,596 --> 00:31:44,163 Thanks. My dad stole it for me. 683 00:31:44,206 --> 00:31:47,209 Oh, that-- that's a little bit illegal. 684 00:31:47,253 --> 00:31:49,037 It's, like, super cheap, so... 685 00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:50,996 Yeah, doesn't really-- it's more the principle. 686 00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:53,041 - Okay. - Here. 687 00:31:55,174 --> 00:31:57,480 Look, uh, I'll make this quick. 688 00:31:57,524 --> 00:32:01,397 All right, um, two weeks ago, I took my dad to get a biopsy, 689 00:32:01,441 --> 00:32:03,356 except I don't remember taking him. 690 00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:05,053 I don't remember anything-- as a matter of fact, 691 00:32:05,097 --> 00:32:06,750 I don't remember anything about that day at all 692 00:32:06,794 --> 00:32:08,535 except talking to the FBI. 693 00:32:08,578 --> 00:32:09,971 That's not normal, right? 694 00:32:10,015 --> 00:32:12,191 He is right. It is not normal. 695 00:32:12,234 --> 00:32:14,106 And it is also very bad for me. 696 00:32:14,149 --> 00:32:16,064 All right, now get this-- it gets weirder, right? 697 00:32:16,108 --> 00:32:17,370 Now, I haven't told Deputy Liv 698 00:32:17,413 --> 00:32:18,937 anything about me forgetting that day 699 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,068 'cause I don't want her to freak out, 700 00:32:20,112 --> 00:32:21,722 but she's got gaps in her memory 701 00:32:21,765 --> 00:32:23,245 for that exact same day, too. 702 00:32:23,289 --> 00:32:25,944 You think if I came by office, you could check me out? 703 00:32:25,987 --> 00:32:27,206 This is bad. 704 00:32:27,249 --> 00:32:28,947 If he starts investigating this, 705 00:32:28,990 --> 00:32:30,861 he might remember that I'm a murderer 706 00:32:30,905 --> 00:32:32,515 and possibly a werewolf. 707 00:32:32,559 --> 00:32:33,995 Yes. 708 00:32:34,039 --> 00:32:36,389 I will do what I can to help with your memory. 709 00:32:36,432 --> 00:32:37,868 I appreciate it. 710 00:32:37,912 --> 00:32:40,436 You know, my dad--he tells me it's emotional, right? 711 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,438 That it's in my head. 712 00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:45,267 I lost a friend a few years back, and... 713 00:32:45,311 --> 00:32:48,053 truth is, I don't think I've had a good day since. 714 00:32:48,096 --> 00:32:49,750 Does that make sense? 715 00:32:49,793 --> 00:32:51,926 Yes, that makes sense. 716 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:55,060 All I got left now is my dad, and... 717 00:32:55,103 --> 00:32:57,149 who knows for how long, right? 718 00:32:57,192 --> 00:33:00,065 If I can't remember the time I'm spending with him, then... 719 00:33:00,108 --> 00:33:02,676 - Sit down. - Right here? 720 00:33:02,719 --> 00:33:04,504 - Mm. - Okay. 721 00:33:06,810 --> 00:33:09,552 Let me lead you through a meditation 722 00:33:09,596 --> 00:33:11,815 that will help with your grief. - Okay. 723 00:33:11,859 --> 00:33:13,600 And put a memory in your head 724 00:33:13,643 --> 00:33:14,949 so you leave me alone. 725 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,124 All right. 726 00:33:19,345 --> 00:33:21,260 ♪ 727 00:33:21,303 --> 00:33:23,305 We are getting up there now. 728 00:33:23,349 --> 00:33:28,049 Next is the Trinidad Scorpion at 1.2 million Scoville units. 729 00:33:28,093 --> 00:33:30,443 This is gonna turn out bad. 730 00:33:30,486 --> 00:33:33,011 Why are you doing this? Take your milk. 731 00:33:33,054 --> 00:33:34,273 I feel great. 732 00:33:34,316 --> 00:33:37,537 All right, D'arcy! You can do this, Asta! 733 00:33:40,279 --> 00:33:42,542 Whoo, Asta! Yes. 734 00:33:44,109 --> 00:33:45,762 Mm-mm. 735 00:33:45,806 --> 00:33:47,851 Oh, God, that's not the way you're supposed to eat that. 736 00:33:47,895 --> 00:33:49,810 - I'm fine, I'm fine. - No, you're not. 737 00:33:49,853 --> 00:33:51,681 You're not gonna be fine. - Oh, God. 738 00:33:52,856 --> 00:33:55,903 - All right. 739 00:33:55,946 --> 00:33:58,993 - I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. 740 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,300 And the winner and new champion is 741 00:34:01,343 --> 00:34:02,692 Ellen Cho! 742 00:34:07,610 --> 00:34:10,526 Bow to me! Bow! 743 00:34:10,570 --> 00:34:12,572 The play's about to start. I saved you guys some seats. 744 00:34:12,615 --> 00:34:14,835 - Oh, I'm excited. - I don't do no plays. 745 00:34:14,878 --> 00:34:16,184 I don't play. I don't watch plays. 746 00:34:16,228 --> 00:34:17,838 I don't want--I ain't want to do no plays. 747 00:34:17,881 --> 00:34:19,448 Oh, come on, come on, come on. 748 00:34:19,492 --> 00:34:21,015 Come on, let's go. 749 00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:22,538 - Did you write it? - I did. 750 00:34:22,582 --> 00:34:24,888 Wow, a pickax for my tenth birthday? 751 00:34:24,932 --> 00:34:26,107 Thanks, Dad! 752 00:34:26,151 --> 00:34:28,631 all: We're all miners now. 753 00:34:28,675 --> 00:34:31,069 Mining built the town of Patience, Colorado. 754 00:34:31,112 --> 00:34:33,027 At one time, every able-bodied man 755 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,682 who lived here worked the mine. 756 00:34:35,725 --> 00:34:38,946 Then one cold January day in 1884, 757 00:34:38,989 --> 00:34:40,861 heroes were born. 758 00:34:43,864 --> 00:34:46,345 Oh, no! It could be a cave-in! 759 00:34:46,388 --> 00:34:50,697 Run for your lives! 760 00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:52,394 Help! Help! 761 00:34:52,438 --> 00:34:54,048 There's one man still in the mine! 762 00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:56,355 We must go back for him! 763 00:34:56,398 --> 00:34:59,706 59 brave men refused to leave one man behind. 764 00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,577 They were heroes. 765 00:35:01,621 --> 00:35:04,363 How much of the town budget did you spend on this play? 766 00:35:04,406 --> 00:35:06,800 - Eight percent. - Eight perc-- 767 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,370 What happened in the mine after it collapsed. 768 00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:15,722 We're boulders, and we're here to kill miners. 769 00:35:15,765 --> 00:35:18,159 All must die. 770 00:35:24,078 --> 00:35:31,172 ♪ 771 00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:49,625 All my organs are hemorrhaging. 772 00:35:51,801 --> 00:35:54,239 My leg, my leg. 773 00:35:54,282 --> 00:35:57,590 59 men succumbed to their crush injuries that day. 774 00:35:57,633 --> 00:36:00,767 And one man, who was trapped in an air pocket, 775 00:36:00,810 --> 00:36:04,292 died of loneliness and thirst three days later. 776 00:36:04,336 --> 00:36:08,340 I'm so thirsty and so lonely. 777 00:36:10,037 --> 00:36:13,258 To the 59 and to Air Pocket Pete. 778 00:36:13,301 --> 00:36:15,564 I don't think his name was actually Pete, 779 00:36:15,608 --> 00:36:18,611 but, you know, it works, and it works well. 780 00:36:20,352 --> 00:36:24,443 ♪ Where have all the daddies gone? ♪ 781 00:36:24,486 --> 00:36:28,795 ♪ Where did they all go? 782 00:36:28,838 --> 00:36:33,278 ♪ My uncle is my daddy now 783 00:36:33,321 --> 00:36:37,847 ♪ And soon there will be snow 784 00:36:37,891 --> 00:36:42,156 ♪ Where did Mommy's happy go? 785 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:46,116 ♪ She drinks wine all day 786 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:50,643 ♪ My uncle daddy gets real mad ♪ 787 00:36:50,686 --> 00:36:54,255 ♪ I don't think he will stay - What are you thinking? 788 00:36:54,299 --> 00:36:56,126 Terrible, man. 789 00:37:05,005 --> 00:37:07,094 ♪ 790 00:37:14,057 --> 00:37:18,453 ♪ 791 00:37:18,497 --> 00:37:20,281 - Here, this'll help. 792 00:37:20,325 --> 00:37:23,371 Thanks. I need, like, six or seven more of these. 793 00:37:24,677 --> 00:37:26,461 ♪ Sole dependency 794 00:37:29,377 --> 00:37:32,641 I shouldn't have said what I said about you and Jay. 795 00:37:32,685 --> 00:37:34,774 I didn't mean it. 796 00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:37,124 No, you meant it. 797 00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:39,648 Okay, I meant it. 798 00:37:39,692 --> 00:37:42,129 I was mad, and I was wrong. 799 00:37:42,172 --> 00:37:44,087 No, you weren't. 800 00:37:44,131 --> 00:37:45,654 You were right. 801 00:37:45,698 --> 00:37:47,221 My parents took me out to dinner, 802 00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,397 and my response was to go get blackout drunk. 803 00:37:49,441 --> 00:37:52,531 Your parents are assholes. 804 00:37:52,574 --> 00:37:55,316 I mean, I love them, but come on. 805 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,405 I should be better at dealing with them by now. 806 00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:59,668 I'm not 15. 807 00:37:59,712 --> 00:38:01,496 I'm a mess. 808 00:38:01,540 --> 00:38:03,324 No. 809 00:38:03,368 --> 00:38:05,935 I'm a mess. Look at me. 810 00:38:05,979 --> 00:38:08,895 I don't want to be messy. 811 00:38:08,938 --> 00:38:10,766 I don't want that either. 812 00:38:10,810 --> 00:38:12,594 We can't both be messes at the same time. 813 00:38:12,638 --> 00:38:14,335 Otherwise it's chaos. 814 00:38:14,379 --> 00:38:16,337 ♪ 815 00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:20,341 Going to Jimmy's was so dumb. 816 00:38:20,385 --> 00:38:22,996 I just... 817 00:38:24,127 --> 00:38:26,521 He just went through it, you know? 818 00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:27,609 I mean, he was an asshole, 819 00:38:27,653 --> 00:38:29,785 but he was there when Jay was born, 820 00:38:29,829 --> 00:38:32,353 and he was there for me through all the freakouts 821 00:38:32,397 --> 00:38:34,964 after I gave her up. 822 00:38:35,008 --> 00:38:37,706 ♪ I would never take from you... ♪ 823 00:38:37,750 --> 00:38:40,753 I guess I'm so used to being sad with him, 824 00:38:40,796 --> 00:38:42,798 something about it feels normal. 825 00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:47,977 I don't think that's supposed to feel normal. 826 00:38:48,021 --> 00:38:50,632 You know, I wasn't around when all that stuff went down, 827 00:38:50,676 --> 00:38:52,721 but I'm here now. 828 00:38:52,765 --> 00:38:55,594 And I always will be. 829 00:38:55,637 --> 00:38:58,771 You know that, right? 830 00:38:58,814 --> 00:39:01,382 - Right. 831 00:39:02,818 --> 00:39:06,387 When I woke up on his couch... 832 00:39:06,431 --> 00:39:08,520 I saw that picture of us from the senior year 833 00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:12,001 where I'm wearing that stupid football sweatshirt. 834 00:39:14,090 --> 00:39:16,789 That thing is still in my trunk. 835 00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:20,358 I think you should go get that sweatshirt. 836 00:39:20,401 --> 00:39:23,404 ♪ 837 00:39:23,448 --> 00:39:25,711 - Yeah. Yeah. - Why? 838 00:39:25,754 --> 00:39:27,930 - Yeah. - Why? 839 00:39:29,845 --> 00:39:33,414 - What are you gonna do? 840 00:39:33,458 --> 00:39:37,766 ♪ 841 00:39:37,810 --> 00:39:39,681 ♪ And we 842 00:39:39,725 --> 00:39:42,075 ♪ 843 00:39:42,118 --> 00:39:45,861 ♪ We are the same 844 00:39:45,905 --> 00:39:53,042 ♪ 845 00:39:58,004 --> 00:40:00,223 We'll only be gone a couple of days. 846 00:40:00,267 --> 00:40:01,703 You're sure you're okay here alone? 847 00:40:01,747 --> 00:40:03,052 Ah, of course. 848 00:40:03,096 --> 00:40:05,620 Who cares if everyone hated the play 849 00:40:05,664 --> 00:40:07,100 and me for writing it? 850 00:40:07,143 --> 00:40:10,146 Not everyone in the audience hated it. 851 00:40:10,190 --> 00:40:11,757 And that woman who screamed at you 852 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,062 is one of those complainer moms from school. 853 00:40:13,106 --> 00:40:15,674 ♪ Where have all the daddies gone? ♪ 854 00:40:15,717 --> 00:40:18,938 ♪ Where did they all go? 855 00:40:18,981 --> 00:40:20,722 You're singing the song. 856 00:40:20,766 --> 00:40:22,985 Yeah, it's the best song ever. 857 00:40:23,029 --> 00:40:26,641 And the play was awesome. The blood looked so cool. 858 00:40:26,685 --> 00:40:29,122 See you in a couple days. 859 00:40:29,165 --> 00:40:32,342 ♪ Where did Mommy's happy go? 860 00:40:32,386 --> 00:40:35,128 Wow. Did you see that? Max loved it. 861 00:40:35,171 --> 00:40:38,087 See? You got yourself all worked up over nothing. 862 00:40:38,131 --> 00:40:40,525 By next year, everyone will have forgotten all about it, 863 00:40:40,568 --> 00:40:42,004 and you can do another play. 864 00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:44,137 No way. I mean, you heard Max. 865 00:40:44,180 --> 00:40:45,443 The play worked. 866 00:40:45,486 --> 00:40:48,097 No, we'll--we'll do it even bigger next year. 867 00:40:48,141 --> 00:40:51,100 You know, bigger boulders, maybe--maybe even more blood. 868 00:40:52,624 --> 00:40:54,843 Great. 869 00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:56,758 Okay. Bye, honey. - Okay, bye. 870 00:40:56,802 --> 00:40:59,021 Bye-bye. Okay. 871 00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:02,024 Have fun at your mom's. 872 00:41:05,071 --> 00:41:07,508 - Bye, Dad! - Bye, honey! 873 00:41:23,306 --> 00:41:24,525 Thanks. 874 00:41:24,569 --> 00:41:27,049 Just take care of yourself. 875 00:41:27,093 --> 00:41:28,311 At the end of the day, 876 00:41:28,355 --> 00:41:30,966 you can't depend on anyone else but you. 877 00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:33,186 My mom would never say something like that. 878 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,146 But I think you're right. 879 00:41:37,190 --> 00:41:38,887 Thanks. 880 00:41:40,715 --> 00:41:42,064 I-- 881 00:41:45,633 --> 00:41:52,727 ♪ 882 00:41:52,771 --> 00:41:55,121 You're a better father than I remember. 883 00:41:55,164 --> 00:41:57,602 I'm glad we got to spend time together. 884 00:41:57,645 --> 00:42:00,256 I might even miss you a little. 885 00:42:00,300 --> 00:42:02,563 I am glad. 886 00:42:02,607 --> 00:42:04,696 I miss my family, too. 887 00:42:04,739 --> 00:42:06,741 All right, folks. 888 00:42:06,785 --> 00:42:08,700 I have also changed. 889 00:42:08,743 --> 00:42:10,179 Ticket, please. 890 00:42:10,223 --> 00:42:14,401 But the alien in New York is my family. 891 00:42:14,444 --> 00:42:17,491 So maybe they will help me anyway. 892 00:42:19,667 --> 00:42:21,277 I have to try. 893 00:42:21,321 --> 00:42:23,584 I am ready to go to New York now. 894 00:42:23,628 --> 00:42:26,718 ♪ 895 00:42:26,761 --> 00:42:29,285 I am not worried. 896 00:42:29,329 --> 00:42:32,375 I know I am much more alien than human. 897 00:42:35,727 --> 00:42:37,859 Sheriff, can I tell you something? 898 00:42:37,903 --> 00:42:39,818 All right, go ahead. Lay it on me. 899 00:42:39,861 --> 00:42:42,908 You know that day the FBI guy came, 900 00:42:42,951 --> 00:42:46,999 the day that neither of us can remember? 901 00:42:47,042 --> 00:42:49,044 I think an alien erased our memory. 902 00:42:49,088 --> 00:42:50,785 There, I said it. 903 00:42:50,829 --> 00:42:52,308 Well, I can't speak for you, Deputy, 904 00:42:52,352 --> 00:42:56,138 but, um, I remember exactly what I was doing that day. 905 00:42:56,182 --> 00:42:59,402 It was a good day. Actually, a very good day. 906 00:43:01,666 --> 00:43:03,406 Okay. 907 00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:08,716 "] 908 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,632 Only an alien would have been able to put a memory 909 00:43:11,676 --> 00:43:13,416 in the sheriff's head. 910 00:43:13,460 --> 00:43:17,769 ♪ 911 00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:24,863 And if that memory gave him a good day... 912 00:43:24,906 --> 00:43:27,474 then that is just a coincidence. 913 00:43:27,517 --> 00:43:34,437 ♪ 913 00:43:35,305 --> 00:44:35,792 Enjoy Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP