1 00:00:00,017 --> 00:00:01,435 [theme song playing] 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,074 Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV www.flixify.app 3 00:00:43,549 --> 00:00:45,134 [cell door slams] 4 00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,568 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:30,054 --> 00:01:31,680 [panting] 6 00:02:10,302 --> 00:02:11,846 - Morning, Suzanne. - Morning. 7 00:02:11,929 --> 00:02:13,764 Hope you have a good writing day. 8 00:02:13,848 --> 00:02:17,018 Hey, lady, that new chapter, che figata! 9 00:02:17,101 --> 00:02:20,104 I really love how Edwina outsmarted the orgasmator. 10 00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:22,814 It's like a shout-out to Barbarella, but still totally new. 11 00:02:22,899 --> 00:02:25,526 - Yeah... meant to do that. - [sighs] 12 00:02:25,609 --> 00:02:27,987 She has a beautiful mind. 13 00:02:28,070 --> 00:02:30,281 Yeah, sick as fuck, but beautiful. 14 00:02:30,364 --> 00:02:33,242 Is it really possible to live on nothing but cum? 15 00:02:33,325 --> 00:02:35,661 Only if it's Admiral Rodcocker's cum. 16 00:02:35,744 --> 00:02:40,374 Oh, yeah, you know, and that dude has some extra protein. 17 00:02:40,457 --> 00:02:42,084 It's gonna be a long day for you, Rabbi. 18 00:02:42,168 --> 00:02:44,753 Got over 70 inmates keeping kosher now. 19 00:02:44,836 --> 00:02:46,463 Out of? 20 00:02:46,547 --> 00:02:48,715 - Two hundred-something. - Wow. 21 00:02:48,799 --> 00:02:49,800 Oy vey. 22 00:02:50,634 --> 00:02:53,845 You brought in a rent-a-rabbi. 23 00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:55,181 Well... 24 00:02:55,264 --> 00:02:58,142 technically, all rabbis are for rent, if you think about it. 25 00:02:58,225 --> 00:03:00,102 Weddings, bar mitzvahs. 26 00:03:00,186 --> 00:03:02,688 You know, this one just specializes in corporate inquiry. 27 00:03:02,771 --> 00:03:06,150 Corporate inquiry... truly God's work. 28 00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:07,318 Everything's cool, buddy. 29 00:03:07,401 --> 00:03:11,155 He's just gonna come in, sit down with the inmates who eat kosher, 30 00:03:11,238 --> 00:03:14,408 have a little convo... get to know them. 31 00:03:14,491 --> 00:03:16,910 Test whether they're Jewish or not. 32 00:03:16,994 --> 00:03:18,204 You're really obsessed with tests. 33 00:03:18,287 --> 00:03:22,959 I'm pretty sure we don't get to second-guess people's religious beliefs. 34 00:03:23,042 --> 00:03:25,002 Something about the Bill of Rights. 35 00:03:25,086 --> 00:03:26,337 Oh, that old thing. 36 00:03:27,879 --> 00:03:29,548 Kidding, you know. 37 00:03:29,631 --> 00:03:31,133 But also not, you know. 38 00:03:31,217 --> 00:03:35,930 I mean, there is some legal gray area, and I love me some gray area. 39 00:03:36,013 --> 00:03:39,016 Yeah, you're one giant gray area. 40 00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,518 Acting all chummy, all big brother, 41 00:03:41,602 --> 00:03:44,313 but actually, you're... 42 00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:45,481 Big Brother. 43 00:03:45,564 --> 00:03:49,485 You are really stuck on this hierarchy stuff, Joe. 44 00:03:49,568 --> 00:03:51,653 Someone must have really done a number on you. 45 00:03:51,737 --> 00:03:53,697 Yeah, she sure did. 46 00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:56,617 You're okay now, buddy. You're on the MCC team. 47 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:59,495 I'm gonna be watching out for you. 48 00:03:59,578 --> 00:04:00,912 We'll all be watching. 49 00:04:00,997 --> 00:04:03,332 That's what Big Brother says. 50 00:04:13,217 --> 00:04:14,343 [inhales shakily] 51 00:04:16,845 --> 00:04:18,097 [sobs] 52 00:04:19,931 --> 00:04:21,100 [sniffles] 53 00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:24,728 Fuck, Norma. How do you do that? 54 00:04:24,811 --> 00:04:26,605 She always makes me cry, too. 55 00:04:26,688 --> 00:04:28,524 It's a miracle. 56 00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:35,864 Damn, there ain't enough Norma to go around. 57 00:04:35,947 --> 00:04:38,617 Hey, Club Waco, beat it. 58 00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,620 Yeah, I'll handle this. Thank you. 59 00:04:41,703 --> 00:04:43,080 The Charismatic Catholics 60 00:04:43,164 --> 00:04:46,083 need an extra half hour this morning to learn a new hymn, 61 00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:47,668 so if you could just move along... 62 00:04:47,751 --> 00:04:49,461 I don't know sign language. 63 00:04:49,545 --> 00:04:52,756 She's saying we signed up. We got a right to be here. 64 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:57,511 I'm sorry, I'm not clear on what religion you're all practicing. 65 00:04:57,594 --> 00:05:01,348 It's a new faith, but we don't have a name yet. 66 00:05:01,432 --> 00:05:02,974 Christians were new once, too. 67 00:05:03,059 --> 00:05:05,686 And after hundreds of years of private worship, 68 00:05:05,769 --> 00:05:06,978 several great schisms, 69 00:05:07,063 --> 00:05:08,897 and thousands of people martyring themselves, 70 00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:12,193 it became a focused belief system... 71 00:05:12,276 --> 00:05:13,444 with a name. 72 00:05:13,527 --> 00:05:14,903 [Leanne] Hey! 73 00:05:16,613 --> 00:05:18,657 We got a belief system. 74 00:05:20,576 --> 00:05:22,703 We believe in kindness and acceptance. 75 00:05:24,246 --> 00:05:25,581 And... 76 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:27,458 finding the peace within 77 00:05:27,541 --> 00:05:31,670 that can then radiate out into the world and create change. 78 00:05:31,753 --> 00:05:33,172 And through silent meditation, 79 00:05:33,255 --> 00:05:37,050 we address the roar of pain and loneliness and tame it. 80 00:05:38,051 --> 00:05:41,638 And through reflection, we can see nothingness... 81 00:05:41,722 --> 00:05:45,684 and in nothingness, we find clarity... we have faith. 82 00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:51,064 In what... 83 00:05:51,565 --> 00:05:53,484 Her? 84 00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:57,654 There's no body of the principles. They're too big to be contained. 85 00:05:57,738 --> 00:05:59,448 So, you're atheists. 86 00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:00,866 I ain't no fucking... 87 00:06:05,162 --> 00:06:07,706 I don't think you're ready to understand. 88 00:06:07,789 --> 00:06:10,709 Look, sitting around meditating doesn't make you a religion. 89 00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:12,669 It makes you a meditation club. 90 00:06:12,753 --> 00:06:15,922 Ooh. "Meditation Club." that's not a bad name for us. 91 00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:19,301 Okay, this one needs to be our first martyr. 92 00:06:19,385 --> 00:06:22,221 [Zeke] Look at this fucking thing. It's like a giant mouth. 93 00:06:22,304 --> 00:06:23,805 It's opening, it's closing. 94 00:06:23,889 --> 00:06:27,768 - You're fucked up, Zeke. - Yeah, no shit, Nancy Drew. 95 00:06:27,851 --> 00:06:29,770 I think it's, "No shit, Sherlock." 96 00:06:29,853 --> 00:06:34,024 Sherlock shits by the seashore. 97 00:06:34,107 --> 00:06:35,151 The plastic's kinda melty. 98 00:06:35,234 --> 00:06:38,612 Peanut butter cups and meth, it's like Red Vines and Dr. Pepper. 99 00:06:38,695 --> 00:06:41,573 This is the fucking life. 100 00:06:41,657 --> 00:06:44,993 I don't know why anyone ever goes back. All those rules. 101 00:06:45,076 --> 00:06:48,372 I feel bad for the ones that don't even know that this is here. 102 00:06:48,455 --> 00:06:52,334 They think that's reality, but this is the real reality. 103 00:06:52,418 --> 00:06:54,420 Real reality. 104 00:06:54,503 --> 00:06:55,796 Real-eality. 105 00:06:55,879 --> 00:06:57,839 Plus, those fucking beards. 106 00:06:57,923 --> 00:07:01,051 - Hey, give me a bag. - 20 bucks. 107 00:07:01,135 --> 00:07:04,221 - I got 15. - That's nice. 108 00:07:04,305 --> 00:07:07,308 Hey, White Trash Federline, tell your girl to be more polite. 109 00:07:07,391 --> 00:07:09,476 - I'm a frequent flier. - Fuck off, Sam. 110 00:07:10,977 --> 00:07:13,439 Federline is White Trash Federline, you fucktard! 111 00:07:13,522 --> 00:07:14,648 [laughs] 112 00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:24,158 - It kind of looks like a mouth. - Totally. 113 00:07:24,241 --> 00:07:26,410 Like, the flames are the teeth. 114 00:07:26,493 --> 00:07:29,288 And the black part there, that's the door. 115 00:07:29,371 --> 00:07:31,915 - A door to where? - Hell, I guess. 116 00:07:31,998 --> 00:07:33,375 Isn't that where we're all going? 117 00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:39,673 Hey, everybody! I just put a roofie in my own drink. 118 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,686 [speaking Pennsylvania Dutch] Mother, I'm back. 119 00:09:19,064 --> 00:09:20,065 [exhales] 120 00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:28,239 Gloria! 121 00:09:30,075 --> 00:09:31,535 Grab a knife. 122 00:09:31,618 --> 00:09:33,954 It's almost time to milk the shit sacks. 123 00:09:34,037 --> 00:09:35,956 Terrific. 124 00:09:36,039 --> 00:09:40,336 Beautiful card I have for you. A beauty, a doll. 125 00:09:40,419 --> 00:09:42,128 [clicks tongue] You're welcome. 126 00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:44,756 - I don't need it. - I thought you'd need that. 127 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:45,841 [Blanca] Mmm-mmm. 128 00:09:46,842 --> 00:09:49,260 [Sophia] Gloria. Gloria Mendoza. 129 00:09:49,886 --> 00:09:52,389 I'm sorry, but I'm done for real this time. 130 00:09:52,473 --> 00:09:53,515 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 131 00:09:53,599 --> 00:09:55,517 - I thought you and I were cool. - We are not cool. 132 00:09:55,601 --> 00:09:58,854 Michael was arrested. He spent the night in holding. 133 00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:01,022 What? What happened? 134 00:10:01,106 --> 00:10:04,150 He and your son beat the crap out of some kid. 135 00:10:04,234 --> 00:10:05,611 The boy might lose an eye. 136 00:10:05,694 --> 00:10:08,989 - Was Benny arrested, too? - I don't know. 137 00:10:09,072 --> 00:10:10,407 But I raised a sweet little boy, 138 00:10:10,491 --> 00:10:13,369 who cried when he found out there was no Easter Bunny. 139 00:10:13,452 --> 00:10:16,121 And now suddenly, he's a thug. 140 00:10:16,204 --> 00:10:18,123 You saying this is on my boy? 141 00:10:18,206 --> 00:10:21,167 I'm saying he can find his own ride from now on. 142 00:10:22,461 --> 00:10:24,045 I knew I was right. 143 00:10:24,129 --> 00:10:27,007 Hmm, why I always gotta have these conversations 144 00:10:27,090 --> 00:10:29,635 with sharp objects in my hand? 145 00:10:29,718 --> 00:10:31,219 You need to get out of here, 146 00:10:31,302 --> 00:10:33,263 before you add another 100 years to my sentence. 147 00:10:33,347 --> 00:10:37,267 [chuckles] So, you gonna cut me, huh? 148 00:10:37,351 --> 00:10:38,852 I wonder where Benny gets it. 149 00:10:38,935 --> 00:10:40,145 Oh, man, you know what? 150 00:10:40,228 --> 00:10:43,565 Your son is fucking 15 years old, and there is no fucking Easter Bunny. 151 00:10:43,649 --> 00:10:46,568 And if you think that my son killed the fake-ass rabbit, 152 00:10:46,652 --> 00:10:48,779 then you're living in a fucking fantasy. 153 00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:50,406 Who needs a knife? 154 00:10:50,489 --> 00:10:53,074 She'll die from eating today's lunch. 155 00:10:53,158 --> 00:10:54,785 [Blanca speaking Spanish] 156 00:10:54,868 --> 00:10:55,911 Gin. 157 00:10:55,994 --> 00:10:57,913 [speaking Russian] 158 00:10:58,497 --> 00:11:00,541 [Coates] Looks like a nice one. 159 00:11:00,624 --> 00:11:01,958 Huh? 160 00:11:02,042 --> 00:11:03,794 The sun's coming out, I mean. 161 00:11:03,877 --> 00:11:07,130 And I got a shitload of red velvets back at the shop about to go stale. 162 00:11:07,213 --> 00:11:08,715 Oh, yeah? So what? 163 00:11:08,799 --> 00:11:10,008 I know, I know. 164 00:11:10,091 --> 00:11:12,093 A lot of red velvet haters out there all of a sudden. 165 00:11:12,177 --> 00:11:14,971 Some serious backlash. 166 00:11:15,055 --> 00:11:18,975 But I know some hungry ducks who might enjoy 'em. 167 00:11:19,851 --> 00:11:21,853 One hungry duck in particular. 168 00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:26,858 - I mean you. - Yeah, I got it. 169 00:11:26,942 --> 00:11:28,151 I got it. 170 00:11:29,402 --> 00:11:31,404 - What's up your ass? - Nothing. 171 00:11:32,322 --> 00:11:33,907 Nothing whatsoever, Officer Coates. 172 00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:37,911 I'm just standing here, doing my job, being a professional prisoner. 173 00:11:38,537 --> 00:11:42,458 So, I suggest you do your job and guard me professional-like. 174 00:11:45,836 --> 00:11:46,920 [exhales into hand] 175 00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:48,338 [man speaking indistinctly on walkie-talkie] 176 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,425 - Yo, what'd I miss? - Yo, they're saying Judy's going down. 177 00:11:52,509 --> 00:11:54,094 [Taystee] Yeah, she is. 178 00:11:54,177 --> 00:11:57,055 I've heard that she steals her recipes. 179 00:11:57,138 --> 00:11:59,140 I've heard she has a husband and a lover, 180 00:11:59,224 --> 00:12:01,309 and they all live in the same house. 181 00:12:01,392 --> 00:12:02,769 [gasps] She cheats on Bill? 182 00:12:02,853 --> 00:12:05,230 Well, is it cheating if they all live together? 183 00:12:05,313 --> 00:12:07,899 Wait, do they all sleep in the same bed? Like, the three of them? 184 00:12:07,983 --> 00:12:09,150 See, I don't believe it. 185 00:12:09,234 --> 00:12:11,737 If that lady were getting it on the regular with two dudes, 186 00:12:11,820 --> 00:12:14,948 she would not be sweating a rosemary garnish. 187 00:12:15,031 --> 00:12:16,324 - [chuckles] - You never know. 188 00:12:16,407 --> 00:12:18,368 Yo, right on time! 189 00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:21,580 Um, actually, I'm here for them. 190 00:12:22,956 --> 00:12:25,626 First, she joins the Church o' Crazy Eyes, now this? 191 00:12:25,709 --> 00:12:27,418 Whatever makes her happy. 192 00:12:27,503 --> 00:12:28,504 - God bless. - Mmm. 193 00:12:28,587 --> 00:12:30,088 Or Norma bless, I guess. 194 00:12:30,171 --> 00:12:32,215 [Leanne] So, as I was saying... 195 00:12:32,298 --> 00:12:34,217 we need to come up with a list of commandments 196 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,552 so that they know we're for real. 197 00:12:35,636 --> 00:12:38,054 Thou shalt not snort thy neighbor's heroin. 198 00:12:38,138 --> 00:12:40,181 "Covet." It's "covet." 199 00:12:40,265 --> 00:12:42,559 You can do what you want with it. I'm gonna snort it. 200 00:12:42,643 --> 00:12:45,270 I'm serious, you guys. We need to set the rules. 201 00:12:45,353 --> 00:12:47,731 [Brook] For me, it's less about, like, rules, 202 00:12:47,814 --> 00:12:49,900 and more what happens when I look at Norma. 203 00:12:49,983 --> 00:12:51,527 Oh, yeah, what's that about? 204 00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:53,987 I mean, it's, um... it's, like, less than magic, 205 00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:55,446 but more than a hug. 206 00:12:55,531 --> 00:12:57,240 [Brook] The way I see it... 207 00:12:58,033 --> 00:13:00,827 it's the armor you put on every day. 208 00:13:00,911 --> 00:13:03,038 The armor that... 209 00:13:03,121 --> 00:13:06,416 that it takes to get through every day. 210 00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:12,088 It gets heavier and heavier as you live your life, you know? 211 00:13:12,172 --> 00:13:14,424 Especially in here. 212 00:13:15,258 --> 00:13:16,843 But when you look at Norma... 213 00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:20,055 you can take that armor off... 214 00:13:21,431 --> 00:13:23,391 because it's safe. 215 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:26,394 You're safe. 216 00:13:26,477 --> 00:13:29,981 And... you're crying... 217 00:13:30,065 --> 00:13:34,695 because it feels... so good to take that armor off. 218 00:13:36,446 --> 00:13:39,324 And you realize how tall you can be without it... 219 00:13:40,826 --> 00:13:42,160 how light. 220 00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:46,206 Yeah... yeah, what she said. 221 00:13:46,289 --> 00:13:50,460 I mean, maybe what's so special about this... whatever... 222 00:13:51,628 --> 00:13:54,923 is that there aren't any rules... 223 00:13:55,006 --> 00:13:56,007 - Yeah. - You know? 224 00:13:56,091 --> 00:13:58,551 I've always had trouble with organized religion, anyway. 225 00:13:58,635 --> 00:14:02,055 And honestly, I think the more this becomes a capital "R" religion, 226 00:14:02,138 --> 00:14:03,974 the less time we seem to get with Norma. 227 00:14:04,057 --> 00:14:06,267 Yeah, and we're all here to be with Norma, right? 228 00:14:06,351 --> 00:14:08,436 That's fine, but we still need to deal with 229 00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:10,564 the rest of the world and how they see us. 230 00:14:10,647 --> 00:14:13,233 And when you come in late and you call it a fucking club, 231 00:14:13,316 --> 00:14:15,736 you make us all look like a joke. 232 00:14:15,819 --> 00:14:18,488 We need to know who we are, or they'll think we're a joke. 233 00:14:19,114 --> 00:14:21,407 I know who I am. 234 00:14:21,491 --> 00:14:23,451 I'm someone who's sometimes late. 235 00:14:23,534 --> 00:14:27,873 Look, Soso, I know not committing is, like, your thing. 236 00:14:27,956 --> 00:14:31,918 You couldn't commit to saving the world. You couldn't commit to eating pussy. 237 00:14:32,002 --> 00:14:34,004 You couldn't even commit to being 100% Asian. 238 00:14:34,087 --> 00:14:37,674 So, why don't you go off and not commit somewhere else? 239 00:14:37,758 --> 00:14:40,051 Nobody wants you here, anyways. 240 00:14:44,598 --> 00:14:47,308 Okay, y'all are illegally congregating here. 241 00:14:47,392 --> 00:14:48,977 This ain't the meeting house. 242 00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:52,313 And for a gang who likes quiet time, y'all are hella noisy. 243 00:14:52,397 --> 00:14:55,483 So, either get out, or I'm calling the po-pos. 244 00:14:55,566 --> 00:14:57,485 [whispering] This is Judy time. 245 00:14:57,568 --> 00:14:59,195 [Janae] Turn that shit up. 246 00:15:00,196 --> 00:15:02,991 That's right, P. Come to the light. 247 00:15:03,074 --> 00:15:04,743 I deeply regret 248 00:15:04,826 --> 00:15:07,996 some of the financial choices I have made in the recent past. 249 00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:11,082 I was not fully aware of the decisions that my advisers were... 250 00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:14,460 - Is it cool if I stay and watch, too? - Get your ass up, now! 251 00:15:14,544 --> 00:15:15,629 I couldn't stand the heat, 252 00:15:15,712 --> 00:15:18,089 but I'm afraid I didn't get out of the kitchen in time 253 00:15:18,173 --> 00:15:22,218 to recognize the misappropriation that was taking place. 254 00:15:22,302 --> 00:15:24,012 I guess I had my head in the oven. 255 00:15:24,095 --> 00:15:27,683 Uh, well, no... Um... Maybe that was a poor choice. 256 00:15:27,766 --> 00:15:29,935 We're getting kicked out of everywhere. We need to get legit. 257 00:15:30,018 --> 00:15:32,562 There was a vein in your neck that was like... [roars] 258 00:15:32,646 --> 00:15:34,439 It was rad. 259 00:15:34,522 --> 00:15:36,607 Yeah, but weren't you kind of hard on hippie chick? 260 00:15:36,692 --> 00:15:38,193 Some people aren't cut out for believing. 261 00:15:39,402 --> 00:15:42,488 [speaking Pennsylvania Dutch] I baptize you, my sister, 262 00:15:42,572 --> 00:15:45,491 Leanne Lemmle Taylor, 263 00:15:46,743 --> 00:15:49,996 in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 264 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:54,751 You must strengthen the church and not tear it down. 265 00:15:54,835 --> 00:15:58,129 Be strong against the world's ways. 266 00:16:11,351 --> 00:16:13,561 [speaking English] If it's all right, can I say a few quick words? 267 00:16:16,773 --> 00:16:17,983 And I mean quick. 268 00:16:18,066 --> 00:16:20,443 I know today is about way more than me. 269 00:16:21,778 --> 00:16:24,280 I only wanted to say I'm glad that, as Amish, 270 00:16:24,364 --> 00:16:26,825 we get to choose our baptism. 271 00:16:27,868 --> 00:16:30,120 I didn't know what I wanted until a couple of months ago, 272 00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:34,207 and I wanna thank my parents for having me back with open arms. 273 00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:40,296 I had a good time in the English world, I'm not gonna lie. 274 00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:43,383 - I mean, who doesn't like zippers, right? - [scattered laughter] 275 00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:45,719 [speaking Pennsylvania Dutch] Wrap it up, Leanne. 276 00:16:45,802 --> 00:16:48,638 [speaking English] Sorry, Dad. Anyway... 277 00:16:50,473 --> 00:16:53,601 it was fun for a while, but the fun just started to seem like 278 00:16:53,684 --> 00:16:56,187 everyone was covering up the empty feelings. 279 00:16:57,731 --> 00:17:00,942 [speaking Pennsylvania Dutch] They talk about us like we're in prison. 280 00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:05,155 But this is where I feel free. 281 00:17:12,703 --> 00:17:16,917 Sorry I have a big mouth. 282 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:22,505 Don't be sorry. I'd rather have you than a hundred quiet girls. 283 00:17:22,588 --> 00:17:24,674 [female police detective] Leanne Taylor? 284 00:17:33,558 --> 00:17:36,436 [Black Cindy] Damn, Suzanne. Didn't you get the memo? 285 00:17:36,519 --> 00:17:39,105 We chosen now. We ain't got to eat that shit. 286 00:17:39,189 --> 00:17:40,315 It's chicken fajitas. 287 00:17:40,398 --> 00:17:43,777 See, that's how they get you, with the power of suggestion. 288 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:45,486 - Mmm-hmm. - Like, now they be calling yogurt 289 00:17:45,570 --> 00:17:48,489 "key lime pie" or "chocolate cheesecake." 290 00:17:48,573 --> 00:17:51,076 So, you think, "Hmm, cheesecake," 291 00:17:51,159 --> 00:17:53,829 when it's the same gnarly curds it always was. 292 00:17:53,912 --> 00:17:54,996 [singsong voice] Wow. 293 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,874 I want you all to know I had nothing to do with what you're eating. 294 00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,793 It came out of a bag. 295 00:17:59,876 --> 00:18:02,670 It is in no way a reflection of what I do. 296 00:18:02,753 --> 00:18:04,464 - Okay. - Okay. 297 00:18:05,756 --> 00:18:08,718 See, even she ain't owning it. 298 00:18:08,802 --> 00:18:12,055 Hey, Suzanne. How's that new chapter coming? 299 00:18:12,138 --> 00:18:15,516 Here, have my strawberry Jell-O. Fruit is brain food. 300 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:16,684 Thanks. 301 00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:20,063 - Is, uh, this seat taken? - Yeah, we saving it for Elijah. 302 00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:21,689 Man, you gonna own that rabbi. 303 00:18:21,772 --> 00:18:24,234 Suzanne, tell us about your process. 304 00:18:25,401 --> 00:18:27,737 I think of shit and write it down. 305 00:18:27,821 --> 00:18:29,823 - Wow. - So pure. 306 00:18:30,573 --> 00:18:32,700 I got a question. 307 00:18:32,783 --> 00:18:36,746 If Edwina is really a robo-doll in the end... 308 00:18:37,747 --> 00:18:41,792 why doesn't she get rusty when Lily Sprinkle pees on her? 309 00:18:41,877 --> 00:18:44,004 She's made of pee-proof metal. 310 00:18:44,087 --> 00:18:47,048 Why does Sunflower have to be so mean? 311 00:18:47,132 --> 00:18:49,800 Oh, 'cause she's the one you love to hate. 312 00:18:49,885 --> 00:18:52,303 You should have her time hump with Lily Sprinkle. 313 00:18:52,387 --> 00:18:53,972 [Annie] Yeah. [Maureen] Do it for the lesbians. 314 00:18:54,055 --> 00:18:55,806 Sounds like she's done enough for the lesbians. 315 00:18:55,891 --> 00:18:58,184 What has she done for not-the-lesbians? 316 00:18:58,268 --> 00:19:00,436 [Babs] Um, only the best chapter. 317 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,521 Which one? 318 00:19:01,604 --> 00:19:04,565 When Admiral Rodcocker gets his clothes vaporized 319 00:19:04,649 --> 00:19:06,943 and you find out he gots two penises. 320 00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:08,111 Oh, yeah. 321 00:19:08,194 --> 00:19:11,281 And he gives her a shocker made of penis instead of fingers. 322 00:19:11,364 --> 00:19:12,532 I mean, who thinks of that? 323 00:19:12,615 --> 00:19:14,409 - Damn, I gotta read that shit. - [clicks tongue] 324 00:19:14,492 --> 00:19:15,826 - What? - That's it! 325 00:19:15,911 --> 00:19:18,663 This... this book tour is over. 326 00:19:18,746 --> 00:19:20,540 I can do one last question. 327 00:19:21,499 --> 00:19:23,418 Did you have an inspiration for Admiral Rodcocker? 328 00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:29,549 - [Crazy Eyes clicks tongue] - [gasps] I knew it. 329 00:19:29,632 --> 00:19:31,342 - [Frieda scoffs] - [gasps] 330 00:19:31,426 --> 00:19:34,845 I never thought I'd have a thing for bald dudes, but damn. 331 00:19:34,930 --> 00:19:36,139 [laughs] 332 00:19:36,222 --> 00:19:38,308 The fuck kind of multi-culti shit we got going on here? 333 00:19:38,391 --> 00:19:40,226 Can't a black woman sit with her peoples? 334 00:19:40,310 --> 00:19:45,065 No, see, the universiality of my work unites all the races. 335 00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:48,609 [groaning] 336 00:19:48,693 --> 00:19:52,780 I was hoping for those little stale pieces of bread today. 337 00:19:52,863 --> 00:19:54,699 No such luck. 338 00:19:57,077 --> 00:19:58,119 Hey, Whitehill. 339 00:19:59,537 --> 00:20:02,623 You wanna have lunch with our sad little band of misfits? 340 00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:04,375 Sure. 341 00:20:05,626 --> 00:20:06,669 Sure. 342 00:20:08,504 --> 00:20:09,839 Sure. 343 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,885 Everybody, this is Lolly. Lolly, everybody. 344 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:19,933 - You're new? - Litchfield newbie, prison regular. 345 00:20:20,016 --> 00:20:22,518 Don't worry, it's not so bad. 346 00:20:22,602 --> 00:20:25,188 Not so bad? This place is the best! 347 00:20:25,271 --> 00:20:26,940 How is it? 348 00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:30,026 - Oh, that tastes like brown. - [groans] 349 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:34,489 FYI, ladies, I didn't make the food. This is all out of my control. 350 00:20:34,572 --> 00:20:37,408 Yes, thank you, Red. You're making that very clear. 351 00:20:37,492 --> 00:20:40,411 - Good, as long as you understand. - Mmm. 352 00:20:42,538 --> 00:20:47,002 So... what's your deal, Lolly? What are you in for? 353 00:20:47,085 --> 00:20:51,256 - I did something I shouldn't have. - Okay, specific. 354 00:20:51,339 --> 00:20:52,757 Where are you from? 355 00:20:53,258 --> 00:20:54,509 Here and there. 356 00:20:54,592 --> 00:20:56,219 - [Lorna] How much time you got? - Depends. 357 00:20:56,302 --> 00:20:58,179 Depends? 358 00:20:58,263 --> 00:21:00,348 On how well I do here. 359 00:21:02,475 --> 00:21:07,355 Well, try and think of your time here as a mandala. 360 00:21:08,356 --> 00:21:13,569 The Tibetan monks make intricate designs out of dyed sand, 361 00:21:13,653 --> 00:21:17,073 and when they're done... whoosh... 362 00:21:17,157 --> 00:21:18,699 they're cleared away. 363 00:21:21,161 --> 00:21:23,163 I gotta go take a quiz. 364 00:21:23,246 --> 00:21:25,040 A quiz? 365 00:21:26,874 --> 00:21:30,920 - Okay, bye. What the fuck? - What a twat. 366 00:21:31,004 --> 00:21:33,006 She is nutty as a nut bar. 367 00:21:33,089 --> 00:21:35,508 It makes me glad I got both my feet on the ground. 368 00:21:35,591 --> 00:21:37,177 [scoffs] 369 00:21:37,260 --> 00:21:39,887 - I mean, I tried, right? - Yeah. 370 00:21:39,970 --> 00:21:41,556 Tell Piper I play well with others. 371 00:21:41,639 --> 00:21:42,890 Tell Piper what? 372 00:21:42,973 --> 00:21:46,769 Oh, nothing, schnookums. Just facing my fears head-on. 373 00:21:46,852 --> 00:21:48,771 Did you just call me "schnookums"? 374 00:21:48,854 --> 00:21:50,523 I did, but it was in between quotes. 375 00:21:50,606 --> 00:21:53,068 I didn't hear any quotes, love muffin. 376 00:21:53,776 --> 00:21:55,278 Now you're just being smutty. 377 00:21:55,361 --> 00:21:58,239 Cal's coming tomorrow to give us the lowdown on our first shipment. 378 00:21:58,323 --> 00:22:00,700 - I'm pretty excited. - That's great. 379 00:22:06,497 --> 00:22:09,292 Also, I killed a guard with my bare hands. 380 00:22:10,585 --> 00:22:13,045 Cal... Panties... Exciting. 381 00:22:15,881 --> 00:22:18,176 My bats mitzvah was sick! 382 00:22:18,259 --> 00:22:20,553 All the black Jews was there. 383 00:22:20,636 --> 00:22:22,388 Lenny Kravitz... 384 00:22:24,182 --> 00:22:26,016 [speaking gibberish] 385 00:22:32,148 --> 00:22:36,068 For a long time, "kosher" meant hot dogs to me. 386 00:22:36,152 --> 00:22:37,695 Really, really good hot dogs. 387 00:22:37,778 --> 00:22:41,574 But now, it just means so much more. 388 00:22:41,657 --> 00:22:46,036 Now, it means broccoli... green beans. 389 00:22:46,121 --> 00:22:48,206 You know what I hate? 390 00:22:48,289 --> 00:22:50,082 Shrimps. 391 00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:52,084 Damn, dirty shrimps. 392 00:22:52,168 --> 00:22:54,295 Don't even talk to me about shrimps! 393 00:22:54,379 --> 00:22:57,173 I call my mother a lot, like, every day. 394 00:22:57,257 --> 00:22:59,259 And I love a bargain. 395 00:22:59,342 --> 00:23:01,386 "Who hath believed our report... 396 00:23:01,469 --> 00:23:04,430 and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?" 397 00:23:04,514 --> 00:23:06,141 Isaiah 53, verse one. 398 00:23:06,224 --> 00:23:07,767 [speaking gibberish] 399 00:23:09,935 --> 00:23:11,687 [singing] 400 00:23:14,815 --> 00:23:16,359 [mumbling] 401 00:23:17,652 --> 00:23:20,780 Latinas are halfway Jew already. 402 00:23:20,863 --> 00:23:22,948 I mean, the hora and the conga line? 403 00:23:23,032 --> 00:23:25,034 Basically the same thing. 404 00:23:25,117 --> 00:23:29,914 There was a big book where I wrote down all the people I wish was dead... 405 00:23:29,997 --> 00:23:32,417 who... 406 00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:37,463 You know, so God comes and kills them and not my... me. 407 00:23:37,547 --> 00:23:38,548 And may I say, 408 00:23:38,631 --> 00:23:43,719 I think y'all are doing a wonderful job controlling the media. 409 00:23:43,803 --> 00:23:46,639 I mean, we... we are doing a wonderful job. 410 00:23:48,140 --> 00:23:50,976 [Rabbi Tatelbaum] Now, Miss Hayes, were you raised Jewish? 411 00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:54,272 Mmm-hmm. Born and bred, on my mama's side. 412 00:23:54,355 --> 00:23:57,358 And that's the side that make it all legit, see? 413 00:23:57,442 --> 00:23:58,818 Jewish smarts. 414 00:23:58,901 --> 00:24:01,028 - And you kept kosher growing up? - Mmm-hmm. 415 00:24:01,111 --> 00:24:02,863 Let me lay it all out for you. 416 00:24:02,947 --> 00:24:03,989 The whole brood of Hayes, 417 00:24:04,073 --> 00:24:06,826 we lived under the Cyclone on Coney Island, right? 418 00:24:06,909 --> 00:24:08,661 Brooklyn in the house. A-yo! 419 00:24:09,329 --> 00:24:11,747 And, uh, oh, I was always a nervous kid growing up, 420 00:24:11,831 --> 00:24:15,125 always worrying about the universe expanding, 421 00:24:15,210 --> 00:24:17,462 and... and so, my parents took me to a shrink, 422 00:24:17,545 --> 00:24:21,341 and the shrink was like, "Cindy, quit your worrying. 423 00:24:21,424 --> 00:24:24,093 The universe be chilling for another billion years." 424 00:24:24,176 --> 00:24:26,637 But I couldn't stop worrying and cooking lobsters 425 00:24:26,721 --> 00:24:29,224 and hanging with women in suspenders. 426 00:24:29,307 --> 00:24:31,267 I see you're familiar with Annie Hall. 427 00:24:31,351 --> 00:24:33,769 - Annie who? - I see. 428 00:24:35,771 --> 00:24:38,649 Okay, okay, okay. Anyway... anyway... 429 00:24:38,733 --> 00:24:41,486 So, my father... 430 00:24:41,569 --> 00:24:43,821 my father died pretty young. 431 00:24:43,904 --> 00:24:45,072 It was a sad story. 432 00:24:45,155 --> 00:24:47,700 And after he died, I went to yeshiva school. 433 00:24:47,783 --> 00:24:49,619 Now, I knew I had to dress like a dude and all, 434 00:24:49,702 --> 00:24:53,248 but that didn't matter, 'cause what I really wanted to study was the, um... 435 00:24:53,331 --> 00:24:55,416 What's that word that begin with a "T"? 436 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:56,626 - The Talmud. - Next. 437 00:24:56,709 --> 00:24:58,336 - The Torah. - Mmm, yeah, that. 438 00:24:58,419 --> 00:24:59,879 And whenever I felt alone, 439 00:24:59,962 --> 00:25:02,131 I would sing up to my papa in heaven, 440 00:25:02,214 --> 00:25:05,885 and I would be like, "Papa... do you feel me?" 441 00:25:07,094 --> 00:25:10,139 And he would be like, "Cindy, girl... 442 00:25:10,222 --> 00:25:14,852 even though I'm in heaven, I still feel you." 443 00:25:14,935 --> 00:25:18,606 Jews don't have an official conception of the afterlife. 444 00:25:20,065 --> 00:25:21,442 Oh. 445 00:25:21,526 --> 00:25:23,403 I remember that now. 446 00:25:23,486 --> 00:25:26,864 The focus, instead, is to fulfill our duties to God here on Earth. 447 00:25:26,947 --> 00:25:29,825 Right! That's how we do it. 448 00:25:29,909 --> 00:25:32,912 [chuckles] Miss Hayes, while I am heartened 449 00:25:32,995 --> 00:25:36,206 that you appreciate the works of Woody Allen and Barbra Streisand, 450 00:25:36,291 --> 00:25:41,211 I think you've confused cultural Judaism with committed Jewish belief. 451 00:25:41,296 --> 00:25:44,465 Also, I hear Mandy Patinkin can be difficult to work with. 452 00:25:45,758 --> 00:25:47,552 So, do I pass? 453 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,264 And I call and I call, and no one answers. 454 00:25:52,348 --> 00:25:53,683 I don't know what's going on. 455 00:25:53,766 --> 00:25:56,436 And now, I can't see him. 456 00:25:56,519 --> 00:25:57,853 Can't somebody else drive him? 457 00:25:57,937 --> 00:25:59,229 I asked this whole goddamn prison. 458 00:25:59,314 --> 00:26:01,941 Ain't nobody else with a car that far up the river. 459 00:26:02,024 --> 00:26:03,025 [scoffs] 460 00:26:04,485 --> 00:26:07,738 Who does this tranny bitch think she is, messing with your visitations? 461 00:26:07,822 --> 00:26:10,074 Tranny's got nothing to do with it. 462 00:26:10,157 --> 00:26:12,660 It's just two mothers going at it for their kids. 463 00:26:12,743 --> 00:26:15,413 So, maybe it's better for Benny if I don't win this one. 464 00:26:15,496 --> 00:26:17,247 You're not thinking of apologizing? 465 00:26:17,332 --> 00:26:19,750 Maybe just smooth things out is all. 466 00:26:19,834 --> 00:26:22,211 She fucked with you being able to see your kid, mama. 467 00:26:22,294 --> 00:26:23,796 She should apologize to you. 468 00:26:23,879 --> 00:26:26,757 Benny's a mouthy little fucker. What if he did start this? 469 00:26:27,842 --> 00:26:29,844 Even if Benny was a bad influence, 470 00:26:29,927 --> 00:26:32,680 she thinks that's why her kid's fucked in the head? 471 00:26:32,763 --> 00:26:35,224 He's got two mommies. One of them got a pee-pee. 472 00:26:35,307 --> 00:26:36,851 She don't have a dick, Aleida. 473 00:26:36,934 --> 00:26:39,937 I've seen it, you've seen it. She got a perky little cooch. 474 00:26:40,020 --> 00:26:42,773 - Ugh! You're gonna make me throw up. - [chuckles] 475 00:26:42,857 --> 00:26:45,192 There it is. There's my puke. 476 00:26:45,275 --> 00:26:46,486 I had nothing to do with it. 477 00:26:46,569 --> 00:26:48,446 [both] We know. 478 00:26:48,529 --> 00:26:51,281 As I was saying, we gotta think of this as the first test, 479 00:26:51,366 --> 00:26:53,242 like the Jews wandering the desert, 480 00:26:53,325 --> 00:26:54,994 or the early Christians, wherever they wandered. 481 00:26:55,077 --> 00:26:56,286 The desert, I think. 482 00:26:56,371 --> 00:26:58,748 Everybody was in the desert for a while. 483 00:26:58,831 --> 00:27:00,583 [Frieda growls] 484 00:27:00,666 --> 00:27:03,127 Her hand is on my half again. 485 00:27:03,210 --> 00:27:04,336 Sorry. 486 00:27:04,420 --> 00:27:06,046 I need my space. 487 00:27:06,130 --> 00:27:08,966 And for the record, your timing sucks. 488 00:27:09,049 --> 00:27:12,177 That Rodcocker just fell into the orgasmator. 489 00:27:12,261 --> 00:27:13,513 Hey, no spoilers. 490 00:27:13,596 --> 00:27:16,306 I gotta hand this over to Valdez in 30 minutes. 491 00:27:16,391 --> 00:27:19,268 The world's gonna keep shitting on us until we make ourselves official. 492 00:27:19,351 --> 00:27:22,062 - Official how? - Maybe if we all got the same haircut. 493 00:27:22,146 --> 00:27:24,440 Only if all y'all get my haircut. 494 00:27:24,524 --> 00:27:27,902 No, or something with our clothes, like an armband with a symbol. 495 00:27:27,985 --> 00:27:29,111 Like a swastika? 496 00:27:29,654 --> 00:27:31,697 Not an armband, but something else that... 497 00:27:31,781 --> 00:27:35,576 Something else for excluding people, like how you excluded Brook. 498 00:27:36,494 --> 00:27:37,995 Soso left on her own. 499 00:27:38,078 --> 00:27:42,041 Yeah, after you scared her away with your rules and regulations and loudness. 500 00:27:42,124 --> 00:27:45,044 If she doesn't get what we stand for, she's better off gone. 501 00:27:56,806 --> 00:27:58,140 [female police detective] Hold still, Leanne. 502 00:28:00,435 --> 00:28:03,062 They're gonna know. They're gonna wonder why I'm back. 503 00:28:03,145 --> 00:28:06,148 - Amish kids come back all the time. - Not once they're baptized. 504 00:28:06,231 --> 00:28:07,692 They don't have to know you're baptized. 505 00:28:07,775 --> 00:28:11,028 They'll see it on my face... that I'm with God. 506 00:28:11,111 --> 00:28:13,948 I don't wanna disrespect your beliefs, but that sounds like a bunch of crap. 507 00:28:14,031 --> 00:28:15,616 Hey, easy. 508 00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:18,160 They think not wearing buttons makes them closer to God. 509 00:28:18,243 --> 00:28:20,455 Leanne, all you have to do is hang out for a couple hours, 510 00:28:20,538 --> 00:28:21,831 score some meth, like the good old days. 511 00:28:21,914 --> 00:28:23,958 Talk into the mic, Leanne. 512 00:28:24,041 --> 00:28:26,210 Testing, testing. Whatever, whatever. 513 00:28:26,293 --> 00:28:28,588 Levels are good. I think we're ready. 514 00:28:28,671 --> 00:28:29,797 [exhales] 515 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,382 Please, all I want is to go home and be with my family. 516 00:28:32,467 --> 00:28:33,718 Yeah, well, you kind of limited your choices 517 00:28:33,801 --> 00:28:36,178 when you left a bag of drugs lying around with your ID in it. 518 00:28:36,261 --> 00:28:38,347 I'd say you're getting a pretty sweet deal. 519 00:28:38,431 --> 00:28:39,640 All you have to do is this one small thing, 520 00:28:39,724 --> 00:28:41,225 and it all goes away. 521 00:28:41,308 --> 00:28:44,770 "One small thing." You mean fuck over my friends? 522 00:28:44,854 --> 00:28:47,231 Your friends, the Rumspringa drug cartel. 523 00:28:47,314 --> 00:28:49,024 [male DEA agent] Aren't you helping them in the long run? 524 00:28:49,692 --> 00:28:52,653 Maybe when they go to prison, it'll turn them around... 525 00:28:52,737 --> 00:28:54,530 they'll find God, like you did. 526 00:28:54,614 --> 00:28:55,906 [scoffs] 527 00:28:55,990 --> 00:28:57,825 No, they won't. 528 00:28:58,659 --> 00:29:01,036 [speaking Pennsylvania Dutch] They like Hell too much. 529 00:29:08,210 --> 00:29:09,920 We figured you got busted. 530 00:29:10,004 --> 00:29:14,592 What, me? Never. I just took a vacation to Bonnet City. 531 00:29:14,675 --> 00:29:16,343 Oh, man, you went back? 532 00:29:16,426 --> 00:29:18,178 I had to see my parents. 533 00:29:18,262 --> 00:29:21,474 My dad was sick... with cancer. 534 00:29:21,557 --> 00:29:23,392 Oh, fuck, that sucks. 535 00:29:23,476 --> 00:29:24,769 Did they try to get you to stay? 536 00:29:24,852 --> 00:29:27,021 Are you kidding? They, like, begged. 537 00:29:27,104 --> 00:29:31,233 They tried that shit with me, too. Offered me a new pony cart. [scoffs] 538 00:29:32,985 --> 00:29:35,613 Anyway, I told them I missed it too much here. 539 00:29:36,155 --> 00:29:39,575 Yeah, you know, it's important to know where you make sense. 540 00:29:39,659 --> 00:29:42,244 Otherwise, you're not really living, you know? 541 00:29:46,791 --> 00:29:48,458 Speaking of living... 542 00:29:49,376 --> 00:29:53,047 do you wanna hook me up with some crank? 543 00:29:53,130 --> 00:29:54,632 [woman speaking indistinctly on PA] 544 00:29:55,675 --> 00:29:57,342 Hey, boss lady. 545 00:29:57,426 --> 00:29:58,678 Hey. 546 00:29:58,761 --> 00:29:59,762 Um... 547 00:30:00,763 --> 00:30:01,972 You look comfortable. 548 00:30:02,056 --> 00:30:04,600 I like to air-dry. Sensitive skin. 549 00:30:04,684 --> 00:30:06,561 And these towels are the fucking worst. 550 00:30:06,644 --> 00:30:08,437 Oh, yeah, they're the worst. 551 00:30:08,521 --> 00:30:10,523 How does it feel being a magnate? 552 00:30:10,606 --> 00:30:12,191 No, I'm not really... 553 00:30:13,275 --> 00:30:16,654 Today's panty smuggler, tomorrow's Fortune 500. 554 00:30:16,737 --> 00:30:18,447 Sisters are doing it for themselves. 555 00:30:19,824 --> 00:30:21,450 You're too young to know that song. 556 00:30:21,534 --> 00:30:24,119 - What song? - Never mind. 557 00:30:25,245 --> 00:30:29,333 - So, how's your first shipment doing? - We'll know soon. 558 00:30:29,416 --> 00:30:30,500 You must be psyched. 559 00:30:30,585 --> 00:30:31,669 [sighs] 560 00:30:31,752 --> 00:30:33,253 It's really nice how supportive you are. 561 00:30:33,337 --> 00:30:34,547 Whatever. 562 00:30:34,630 --> 00:30:37,299 I was thinking, and I... I think you'd actually be 563 00:30:37,382 --> 00:30:41,721 a really great... person to ask about this. 564 00:30:41,804 --> 00:30:43,764 I'm thinking the spicy chicken packets 565 00:30:43,848 --> 00:30:46,767 might be worth more than the regular chicken packets, 566 00:30:46,851 --> 00:30:50,270 because they are certainly proving to be the most popular. 567 00:30:50,354 --> 00:30:51,355 [Stella] Mmm. 568 00:30:52,272 --> 00:30:55,234 - Sounds like quite a pickle. - Mmm-hmm, yes. 569 00:30:55,317 --> 00:30:57,903 I'm sure you'll figure out what you want. 570 00:30:58,904 --> 00:31:00,906 I have every confidence in you. 571 00:31:02,908 --> 00:31:05,995 All right, who stole my towel? 572 00:31:11,291 --> 00:31:14,378 - Ugh, how much longer? - We got about a half hour left. 573 00:31:14,461 --> 00:31:15,713 - [groans] - Oh! 574 00:31:15,796 --> 00:31:16,797 Ah! 575 00:31:18,423 --> 00:31:19,967 Crap! Crap! Crap! 576 00:31:20,050 --> 00:31:21,426 - Ow! - You cut yourself? 577 00:31:21,510 --> 00:31:22,803 No, but I broke that window. 578 00:31:22,887 --> 00:31:24,304 [Lea] Somebody should go report this. 579 00:31:24,388 --> 00:31:25,848 - I'll do it. - I will! 580 00:31:31,020 --> 00:31:32,021 [sighs] 581 00:31:36,566 --> 00:31:38,152 You sure you're okay? 582 00:31:38,235 --> 00:31:40,070 I said I was. 583 00:31:41,906 --> 00:31:44,449 Great, I'll get the rake. 584 00:31:45,993 --> 00:31:50,998 [Lolly singing] ♪ But the cat came back the very next day ♪ 585 00:31:51,081 --> 00:31:55,085 ♪ The cat came back He just couldn't stay away ♪ 586 00:31:55,169 --> 00:31:57,963 ♪ Away, away, away ♪ 587 00:31:58,047 --> 00:32:00,675 Um, where did that big piece go? 588 00:32:01,383 --> 00:32:05,054 Big piece of... What big piece? 589 00:32:05,137 --> 00:32:07,556 I told that hot bald guard. He said to leave it. 590 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,391 Maintenance will deal with it in the morning. 591 00:32:09,474 --> 00:32:12,978 Oop! Sorry, Maintenance. That's the way the cookie crumbles! 592 00:32:16,691 --> 00:32:18,233 Did Norma send you? 593 00:32:18,317 --> 00:32:21,737 No, my heart just changed with the power of your love. 594 00:32:22,988 --> 00:32:24,323 Yes, Norma sent me. 595 00:32:26,450 --> 00:32:27,743 Okay. 596 00:32:29,369 --> 00:32:32,039 Can I sit or something? Isn't that what people do? 597 00:32:32,998 --> 00:32:33,999 Yeah. 598 00:32:45,260 --> 00:32:47,221 So... 599 00:32:47,304 --> 00:32:49,849 I'm not that great at apologies. 600 00:32:50,390 --> 00:32:52,852 "I'm sorry" is usually a strong opener. 601 00:32:52,935 --> 00:32:55,187 Let me work up to it. 602 00:32:55,980 --> 00:32:59,608 So, I don't know why I take structure so serious, but I guess I do. 603 00:32:59,692 --> 00:33:03,320 And... I think it might have something to do with 604 00:33:03,403 --> 00:33:05,906 being raised in a church that people like to shit on a lot. 605 00:33:05,990 --> 00:33:07,950 Oh, my God, what church? 606 00:33:08,033 --> 00:33:09,659 [Leanne] It doesn't matter. 607 00:33:10,660 --> 00:33:14,623 The point is... is that it was hard sometimes... 608 00:33:14,707 --> 00:33:16,416 a lot of the time. 609 00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:19,086 But if you knew who you were and what you believed, 610 00:33:19,169 --> 00:33:20,796 then it didn't matter if they called you names 611 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,840 or made fun of your buggy or whatever. 612 00:33:22,923 --> 00:33:26,176 You knew you were better than them because you belonged. 613 00:33:26,260 --> 00:33:29,471 And when I stopped having that... 614 00:33:32,474 --> 00:33:35,770 Anyway, when I started doing the Norma meetings... 615 00:33:35,853 --> 00:33:38,022 it finally felt like I belonged to something again, 616 00:33:38,105 --> 00:33:39,398 even if it was small, 617 00:33:39,481 --> 00:33:41,400 and I didn't want people to shit on it. 618 00:33:41,483 --> 00:33:45,154 So, when you came in acting like the rules were nothing, I got a little... 619 00:33:46,238 --> 00:33:48,824 carried away, maybe. 620 00:33:48,908 --> 00:33:51,618 [sighs] Wait, your buggy... 621 00:33:52,828 --> 00:33:54,496 Do you mean you're, like... 622 00:33:57,499 --> 00:33:59,877 So, you, like, wore a bonnet? 623 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:01,461 Yeah. 624 00:34:01,545 --> 00:34:06,216 [chuckles] I'm sorry, it's, like, um... just, like, you in a... 625 00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:07,634 in a bonnet! [laughs] 626 00:34:07,717 --> 00:34:09,719 Did you hear this? Did you... 627 00:34:09,804 --> 00:34:13,098 You churn butter. You Harrison Ford in Witness. 628 00:34:13,182 --> 00:34:15,893 - That movie has a lot of inaccuracies. - [laughs] 629 00:34:15,976 --> 00:34:17,895 Uh, you a total weirdo. 630 00:34:19,521 --> 00:34:22,232 Oh, no! Oh, my God! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Leanne. I didn't... 631 00:34:22,316 --> 00:34:24,651 Keep my name out of your fucking mouth, you fucking half-breed. 632 00:34:25,652 --> 00:34:27,404 Hope you enjoy hell. 633 00:34:29,156 --> 00:34:32,451 Yeah, she no good at apologies. 634 00:34:56,641 --> 00:34:59,103 I thought you might be hungry. 635 00:34:59,186 --> 00:35:00,479 What if someone sees? 636 00:35:00,562 --> 00:35:03,148 The elders are already out of line. 637 00:35:03,232 --> 00:35:06,360 Shunning is for guiding people back to the church. 638 00:35:06,443 --> 00:35:08,362 But you didn't turn your back on the church. 639 00:35:09,071 --> 00:35:11,365 I did worse. 640 00:35:11,448 --> 00:35:13,993 I sent their kids to jail. 641 00:35:24,586 --> 00:35:26,881 [man speaking Pennsylvania Dutch] How could you be so careless? 642 00:35:26,964 --> 00:35:28,632 [woman] Our daughter was hungry. 643 00:35:28,715 --> 00:35:30,759 [man] As if things aren't bad enough. 644 00:35:31,927 --> 00:35:34,221 Our business is suffering. 645 00:35:35,180 --> 00:35:37,474 No one wants their sons working for me. 646 00:35:39,018 --> 00:35:41,311 We'll be broke if it goes on like this. 647 00:35:44,857 --> 00:35:46,691 [woman] Time will heal the wound. 648 00:35:46,775 --> 00:35:49,319 We have to be patient and forbearing. 649 00:35:52,739 --> 00:35:54,408 She's our daughter. 650 00:35:55,492 --> 00:35:57,161 [man breathing heavily] 651 00:36:00,164 --> 00:36:02,082 [woman speaking indistinctly on walkie-talkie] 652 00:36:04,418 --> 00:36:05,502 [knock on door] 653 00:36:08,380 --> 00:36:10,465 - Hey. - Hey. 654 00:36:10,549 --> 00:36:14,303 I didn't want you to think I'm some kind of bitch or nothing from before. 655 00:36:14,386 --> 00:36:16,388 Oh, that? I wasn't worried about that. 656 00:36:17,222 --> 00:36:18,640 Yeah, you were. 657 00:36:18,723 --> 00:36:20,725 Yeah, I kind of shit my pants, actually. 658 00:36:20,809 --> 00:36:23,437 I mean... not literally. 659 00:36:25,397 --> 00:36:28,984 You know, everybody around here has a big mouth, 660 00:36:29,068 --> 00:36:31,195 and especially the beanbags. 661 00:36:31,278 --> 00:36:33,197 And if they find out that we're becoming all friendly, 662 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:37,784 then our happy lake times are gone, just like that... okay? 663 00:36:39,744 --> 00:36:42,331 So, we have to maintain boundaries. 664 00:36:42,414 --> 00:36:44,583 Inmate, step out of the bubble. 665 00:36:44,666 --> 00:36:46,835 Yes, sir, Mr. Donuts, sir. 666 00:36:46,919 --> 00:36:47,962 That's Mr. Coates to you. 667 00:36:48,045 --> 00:36:51,173 - [whispers] Officer Coates. - That's Officer Coates to you! 668 00:36:51,798 --> 00:36:55,094 You got potential. All right, Officer Coates. 669 00:36:55,177 --> 00:36:58,680 - Good night, sir. - Good night... inmate. 670 00:37:09,524 --> 00:37:11,276 [Maria] You're not on the list. 671 00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,279 - What's that supposed to be, anyway? - The bag said "Irish stew." 672 00:37:14,363 --> 00:37:16,281 Looks like the fajitas. 673 00:37:16,781 --> 00:37:18,617 One kosher meal, please. 674 00:37:18,700 --> 00:37:21,328 - Your name isn't on the list. - You didn't even look at the list. 675 00:37:21,411 --> 00:37:23,913 It's a short list. Do you want this or not? 676 00:37:23,998 --> 00:37:26,708 Yeah, hit me. 677 00:37:26,791 --> 00:37:29,294 - Let me guess. - Not on the list. 678 00:37:29,378 --> 00:37:31,964 Man, I told that rabbi I was Drake's cousin, 679 00:37:32,047 --> 00:37:34,091 worked the whole Black-Jewish mafia thing. 680 00:37:34,174 --> 00:37:35,884 But I guess he ain't never heard of Drake. 681 00:37:35,968 --> 00:37:38,387 Well, fool, you're, like, fifty shades darker than Drake. 682 00:37:38,470 --> 00:37:39,846 Fifty Shades of Drake. 683 00:37:39,929 --> 00:37:40,930 - [laughs] - Mmm. 684 00:37:41,015 --> 00:37:42,975 - Yeah. - That's right, girl. 685 00:37:43,058 --> 00:37:44,977 Somebody must've passed that test. 686 00:37:45,060 --> 00:37:47,104 [Maritza] One kosher meal coming right up. 687 00:37:49,731 --> 00:37:52,734 The Abrahamic religions are pretty much all the same, 688 00:37:52,817 --> 00:37:55,362 - till you get to Jesus. - [Black Cindy scoffs] 689 00:37:55,445 --> 00:37:57,739 Yo, Red, you eat this shit? 690 00:37:59,866 --> 00:38:02,619 People of the cafeteria, in case you haven't heard, 691 00:38:02,702 --> 00:38:05,247 I didn't cook it. 692 00:38:05,330 --> 00:38:07,457 I punch in, I punch out. 693 00:38:07,541 --> 00:38:09,834 I play Sudoku, I scratch my ass. 694 00:38:09,918 --> 00:38:11,795 If I had e-mail, I would check it. 695 00:38:11,878 --> 00:38:16,716 But the food you eat does not have even a piece of my soul in it. 696 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:17,842 That is all. 697 00:38:21,263 --> 00:38:24,641 - Only one thing left to do now. - What's that? 698 00:38:24,724 --> 00:38:26,143 Convert for real. 699 00:38:26,226 --> 00:38:28,270 Where my dreidel at? 700 00:38:33,150 --> 00:38:34,693 Writer's block? 701 00:38:35,610 --> 00:38:39,073 It's like I can see the words, but I can't make them obey me. 702 00:38:39,156 --> 00:38:42,409 That's okay. Fran Lebowitz hasn't written anything for 30 years, 703 00:38:42,492 --> 00:38:43,993 and people still think she's great. 704 00:38:44,078 --> 00:38:47,039 - Yeah, as great as Gena Showalter? - I don't know who that is. 705 00:38:47,122 --> 00:38:48,415 Hey, I was wondering, um, 706 00:38:48,498 --> 00:38:53,002 you know when Sunflower takes both Rodcocks at once, 707 00:38:53,087 --> 00:38:56,131 and she says, "I can feel you in my eyeballs"? 708 00:38:56,215 --> 00:38:59,468 I'm wondering, is that, you know, poetry... 709 00:38:59,551 --> 00:39:02,346 or can she literally feel his penises in her eyeballs? 710 00:39:02,429 --> 00:39:05,474 I like to let the words speak for themselves. 711 00:39:05,557 --> 00:39:08,727 Because I personally, I really identify with Sunflower, 712 00:39:08,810 --> 00:39:11,063 and it seems like she might be polymorphously perverse. 713 00:39:11,146 --> 00:39:12,981 - You know what that is? - Yes. 714 00:39:14,274 --> 00:39:15,275 No. 715 00:39:15,359 --> 00:39:18,403 Well, Freud describes it as a time before age five 716 00:39:18,487 --> 00:39:22,031 when any part of your body can be aroused by almost anything. 717 00:39:22,116 --> 00:39:25,910 - [snorts] - Like, your elbow... your kneecap... 718 00:39:26,911 --> 00:39:28,247 your eyeballs. 719 00:39:29,748 --> 00:39:31,916 I remember feeling like I was the only one. 720 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,587 So, if Sunflower or... 721 00:39:35,670 --> 00:39:39,258 anyone... felt that way... 722 00:39:39,341 --> 00:39:43,220 I'd want them to know that... they aren't alone. 723 00:39:47,015 --> 00:39:49,434 Suzanne, you forgot your... 724 00:39:53,355 --> 00:39:56,233 I'm scared to ask. How did it go with Gerber? 725 00:39:56,316 --> 00:39:57,859 [whispers] Who's Gerber? 726 00:39:57,942 --> 00:40:00,404 Baby face... our corruptible young man. 727 00:40:00,487 --> 00:40:02,489 Oh, yeah! [chuckles] 728 00:40:02,572 --> 00:40:05,534 We met at a dog park near his house. 729 00:40:05,617 --> 00:40:08,120 You know, he dyed his dog to look like a tiger. 730 00:40:08,203 --> 00:40:09,663 But you got the goods? 731 00:40:11,206 --> 00:40:14,209 Oh, my God, you don't know yet. Of course you don't know. 732 00:40:14,293 --> 00:40:16,670 Oh, no, Cal... What happened? 733 00:40:16,753 --> 00:40:19,714 [whispers] Pipes... we sold out overnight. 734 00:40:21,841 --> 00:40:24,344 [whispers] Shut up. 735 00:40:24,428 --> 00:40:26,721 - Yes. - All 20 pairs? 736 00:40:26,805 --> 00:40:29,349 Frankly, I think we're selling ourselves a little short at 50 bucks a pop. 737 00:40:29,433 --> 00:40:32,644 I think we should shoot for the moon, and go for, like, 75, maybe. 738 00:40:32,727 --> 00:40:34,146 And the more we can get... 739 00:40:34,229 --> 00:40:36,606 Well, that means that I'll have to recruit more panty girls. 740 00:40:37,399 --> 00:40:39,318 Seriously, that's what you call them? 741 00:40:39,401 --> 00:40:40,819 This whole thing is like Christmas. 742 00:40:40,902 --> 00:40:42,987 - What is on your arm? - Oh. 743 00:40:43,905 --> 00:40:46,491 Oh, yeah, uh, there are reviews up on the site. 744 00:40:46,575 --> 00:40:48,076 Already? 745 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,245 World Wide Web, man. It's some fast shit. 746 00:40:50,329 --> 00:40:51,788 I hear it's the latest thing. 747 00:40:51,871 --> 00:40:54,123 - I wrote down the good ones to tell you. - Okay. 748 00:40:54,208 --> 00:40:55,209 [clears throat] 749 00:40:56,460 --> 00:40:58,628 "Great service, lovely scent." 750 00:40:58,712 --> 00:41:00,297 Aw. 751 00:41:00,380 --> 00:41:02,299 "Prison bitches are the ripest." 752 00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:04,926 That's a good one, I think. 753 00:41:05,009 --> 00:41:06,010 What do you mean, "That's a good one"? 754 00:41:06,094 --> 00:41:07,929 Does that mean that there are bad ones? 755 00:41:08,012 --> 00:41:10,390 Uh, there are a couple, but I'm not going to tell you. 756 00:41:10,474 --> 00:41:12,476 All people ever remember are the bad ones. 757 00:41:12,559 --> 00:41:13,893 I'm in prison, Cal. 758 00:41:13,977 --> 00:41:15,812 I've got some pretty thick skin these days. 759 00:41:15,895 --> 00:41:17,772 People think the packaging could be better. 760 00:41:17,856 --> 00:41:19,191 That's bullshit. 761 00:41:19,274 --> 00:41:20,275 [shushing] 762 00:41:21,150 --> 00:41:24,028 I mean, you try packaging things with stolen kitchen supplies. 763 00:41:24,112 --> 00:41:25,113 [softly] I know. 764 00:41:25,780 --> 00:41:28,074 But maybe they're right. 765 00:41:28,157 --> 00:41:30,410 Maybe you should repackage them when you get them, 766 00:41:30,494 --> 00:41:32,704 and then you can ship them. 767 00:41:32,787 --> 00:41:35,332 Oh, man, I feel awful that they look bad. 768 00:41:35,415 --> 00:41:36,791 Anyways, moving on, 769 00:41:36,875 --> 00:41:40,754 people are already asking for some very weird stuff... 770 00:41:40,837 --> 00:41:44,132 - Huh. - Like murder panties. 771 00:41:44,216 --> 00:41:46,175 Now, I assume that is when the murderers wear them 772 00:41:46,260 --> 00:41:47,677 and not the victims. 773 00:41:47,761 --> 00:41:51,390 One guy really wants Samoan girls with really big feet. 774 00:41:51,473 --> 00:41:53,600 - I don't know any Samoan girls. - Oh, it doesn't matter. 775 00:41:53,683 --> 00:41:54,851 They don't have to know that. 776 00:41:54,934 --> 00:41:57,103 You can be anyone that you say you are, 777 00:41:57,186 --> 00:41:58,187 but you gotta be careful. 778 00:41:58,272 --> 00:42:00,732 You can't go saying that you're some black lady serial killer 779 00:42:00,815 --> 00:42:02,567 who specializes in killing bald men 780 00:42:02,651 --> 00:42:05,069 with blows from a poison-tipped sai kata, 781 00:42:05,153 --> 00:42:09,157 and then the customer finds a blond pube in there. Uh-uh. 782 00:42:09,241 --> 00:42:11,200 You gotta maintain the fantasy. 783 00:42:11,285 --> 00:42:13,119 Good point. 784 00:42:13,202 --> 00:42:15,121 You frighten me, but... 785 00:42:16,039 --> 00:42:17,416 good point. 786 00:42:18,166 --> 00:42:21,210 Did your mom let you have it? I sure hope so. 787 00:42:21,295 --> 00:42:22,546 I'm grounded for two months. 788 00:42:22,629 --> 00:42:25,382 Well, you deserve it... but you're still my little boy. 789 00:42:25,465 --> 00:42:26,591 - Whatever. - [woman weeping] 790 00:42:26,675 --> 00:42:28,968 It was worth it to teach that little bitch Laronne a lesson. 791 00:42:29,052 --> 00:42:31,346 What lesson? What did he do to you? 792 00:42:31,430 --> 00:42:34,891 - Looking at me funny. - What do you mean "funny"? 793 00:42:34,974 --> 00:42:38,687 Probably fagging out on me. I had to school that shit-stabber. 794 00:42:38,770 --> 00:42:42,190 Baby, don't play tough... and watch your mouth. 795 00:42:42,274 --> 00:42:44,318 I know you only did it to impress that Benny. 796 00:42:44,401 --> 00:42:47,236 Benny? Benny ran away like a little wuss. 797 00:42:47,321 --> 00:42:48,863 He did? 798 00:42:48,947 --> 00:42:51,157 I should stomp his bitch ass next. 799 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:53,410 I don't know who's the bigger pussy, him or Laronne. 800 00:42:57,581 --> 00:42:59,874 [Coates] Come on, guys, look at the pretty colors. 801 00:43:01,084 --> 00:43:03,712 [Pennsatucky] You're that one. [Coates] Which one? 802 00:43:03,795 --> 00:43:06,881 That Downsy one that keeps missing all the crumbs. 803 00:43:06,965 --> 00:43:08,592 Oh, yeah? Well, you're the brown one over there 804 00:43:08,675 --> 00:43:10,760 that keeps swimming around in circles. 805 00:43:10,844 --> 00:43:14,598 I'm not a stupid brown duck. I'm a hot green duck. 806 00:43:14,681 --> 00:43:18,059 The green ducks are males, dummy. You wanna be a man duck? 807 00:43:18,142 --> 00:43:20,604 It's a man's world. 808 00:43:20,687 --> 00:43:22,856 Name like Doggett, maybe you're not a duck. 809 00:43:22,939 --> 00:43:24,273 You're a dog. 810 00:43:24,358 --> 00:43:27,319 Well, I can swim good. I can fetch even better. 811 00:43:27,402 --> 00:43:28,612 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 812 00:43:28,695 --> 00:43:29,696 Let's see about that. 813 00:43:29,779 --> 00:43:32,198 - What? - Fetch! 814 00:43:32,281 --> 00:43:34,242 - Fetch, Doggett, fetch. - [scoffs] 815 00:43:34,326 --> 00:43:35,327 [barks] 816 00:43:35,410 --> 00:43:36,411 [pants] 817 00:43:38,413 --> 00:43:39,998 Good girl. 818 00:43:42,125 --> 00:43:44,544 - Good Doggett. - [chuckles] 819 00:43:46,129 --> 00:43:47,881 Fetch with your mouth this time. 820 00:43:52,636 --> 00:43:54,804 - Go on. - Okay. 821 00:43:54,888 --> 00:43:56,305 Fetch. 822 00:43:56,390 --> 00:43:57,599 [panting] 823 00:43:58,933 --> 00:44:00,602 [barking] 824 00:44:02,687 --> 00:44:04,147 What's the matter, girl? 825 00:44:04,230 --> 00:44:06,315 It's all wet here and muddy. 826 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:07,484 Uh-uh-uh. 827 00:44:07,567 --> 00:44:10,904 Sorry, I only understand dog talk. 828 00:44:10,987 --> 00:44:13,197 You're a dog playing fetch with a dog? 829 00:44:13,281 --> 00:44:15,367 That doesn't make any sense. 830 00:44:15,450 --> 00:44:18,036 I said, "Fetch," inmate! 831 00:44:27,336 --> 00:44:28,337 Good girl. 832 00:44:28,422 --> 00:44:30,298 [coughs] 833 00:44:30,382 --> 00:44:32,008 Good Doggett. 834 00:44:32,091 --> 00:44:33,593 [roars] 835 00:44:33,677 --> 00:44:34,719 [chuckles] 836 00:44:41,392 --> 00:44:42,561 Hey! 837 00:44:48,274 --> 00:44:50,610 It's okay. There's no one around. 838 00:44:53,447 --> 00:44:56,700 Fuck, I like you so much. [chuckles] 839 00:44:56,783 --> 00:44:57,867 Okay. 840 00:44:57,951 --> 00:45:03,039 I... like... you... so... much. 841 00:45:03,122 --> 00:45:04,123 Okay. 842 00:45:06,417 --> 00:45:07,544 Right. 843 00:45:09,671 --> 00:45:11,339 Boundaries. 844 00:45:17,136 --> 00:45:18,472 I know it sounds rough, 845 00:45:18,555 --> 00:45:21,307 but sometimes you gotta cut people loose. 846 00:45:22,684 --> 00:45:24,561 Sometimes people don't belong, 847 00:45:24,644 --> 00:45:27,522 and the most important thing is the unity of the group. 848 00:45:28,898 --> 00:45:33,069 Yeah, I told her there was a place for her and you wanted her back, but... 849 00:45:34,278 --> 00:45:36,447 she didn't seem into it. 850 00:45:39,325 --> 00:45:40,660 It's like you always say... 851 00:45:43,872 --> 00:45:47,041 Sometimes the kindest thing is to let people go. 852 00:46:11,525 --> 00:46:12,734 [sighs] 853 00:46:16,112 --> 00:46:17,906 [snoring] 854 00:46:57,612 --> 00:47:01,074 So, is that, like, a... Chinese thing, or... 855 00:47:17,799 --> 00:47:18,925 You want this book? 856 00:47:19,008 --> 00:47:21,260 I don't cook Italian much, but what this woman does with butter... 857 00:47:21,344 --> 00:47:24,013 What'll I use it for, a doorstop? 858 00:47:24,097 --> 00:47:25,098 [sighs] 859 00:47:27,934 --> 00:47:31,354 Hey, pity party... you need to let this shit go. 860 00:47:31,437 --> 00:47:34,148 You're right, the food tastes like crap, 861 00:47:34,232 --> 00:47:37,485 and I get 1,000 different visions of hell when I put it in my mouth, 862 00:47:37,568 --> 00:47:38,945 but your face is not one of them. 863 00:47:39,028 --> 00:47:41,948 We get it, you didn't cook it. 864 00:47:42,031 --> 00:47:43,032 Stop apologizing. 865 00:47:43,116 --> 00:47:45,827 The more you apologize... the worse it tastes. 866 00:47:46,995 --> 00:47:50,999 You gotta move... the fuck... on. 867 00:47:55,419 --> 00:47:57,088 Thanks. 868 00:47:57,171 --> 00:47:58,673 I needed that. 869 00:48:03,427 --> 00:48:04,512 [sighs] 870 00:48:09,433 --> 00:48:11,435 Can I help you? 871 00:48:13,521 --> 00:48:16,190 No... never mind. 872 00:49:13,957 --> 00:49:15,499 [Stella] Holy shit! 873 00:49:16,292 --> 00:49:18,127 - This is major. - [Piper] Right? 874 00:49:18,795 --> 00:49:23,091 I mean, there was one bad review, but it's... not like I care. 875 00:49:23,174 --> 00:49:25,593 Although, they were... kind of right. 876 00:49:26,219 --> 00:49:29,347 Say you expand to 16 panty girls 877 00:49:29,430 --> 00:49:31,599 and you go down to two days per pair of panties, 878 00:49:31,682 --> 00:49:33,434 that's 48 pairs of panties per week. 879 00:49:33,517 --> 00:49:35,979 Times that by $75 each, 880 00:49:36,062 --> 00:49:39,816 and you have a gross amount... of... [chuckles] 881 00:49:39,899 --> 00:49:40,900 Holy fuck! 882 00:49:40,984 --> 00:49:42,151 What? 883 00:49:42,235 --> 00:49:44,278 $3,600 a week. 884 00:49:45,154 --> 00:49:46,155 Wow. 885 00:49:47,156 --> 00:49:48,241 But two days per panty, 886 00:49:48,324 --> 00:49:50,659 wouldn't that be more than three pairs per week? 887 00:49:50,744 --> 00:49:54,163 Yeah, but you should give them a day off... 888 00:49:55,498 --> 00:49:57,666 - for the Sabbath. - Oh. 889 00:49:57,751 --> 00:50:00,544 Look at you. You're a good Christian girl. 890 00:50:00,628 --> 00:50:03,047 - Actually, I'm Buddhist. - Of course you are. 891 00:50:04,132 --> 00:50:06,467 Maybe they'll give you a special Buddha meal. 892 00:50:06,550 --> 00:50:07,551 Ew, no, they're gross. 893 00:50:07,635 --> 00:50:09,846 It's some sort of gluten shit instead of meat. 894 00:50:09,929 --> 00:50:12,640 But now that they're cracking down on the fake Jews, 895 00:50:12,723 --> 00:50:14,350 I'm thinking of going halal. 896 00:50:14,433 --> 00:50:15,434 [speaks Arabic] 897 00:50:16,394 --> 00:50:18,646 You really know how to work a system. 898 00:50:18,729 --> 00:50:20,774 I'm a hard worker. 899 00:50:21,607 --> 00:50:22,691 Mmm. 900 00:50:23,777 --> 00:50:27,155 So, what did Alex say when you told her the good news? 901 00:50:27,238 --> 00:50:29,032 Oh, but I haven't told her. 902 00:50:29,115 --> 00:50:31,659 She's been busy. 903 00:50:31,742 --> 00:50:33,870 And by "busy," I mean psychologically unstable. 904 00:50:34,662 --> 00:50:37,999 And by "psychologically unstable," I mean annoying. 905 00:50:39,042 --> 00:50:42,086 Well... I'm honored that you told me first. 906 00:50:42,170 --> 00:50:44,755 - Sixteen girls. - Mmm-hmm. 907 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,092 I have to make sure we find girls we can trust. 908 00:50:48,176 --> 00:50:50,011 Yeah. 909 00:50:50,094 --> 00:50:54,098 Girls that we know will be into it. 910 00:50:54,182 --> 00:50:56,976 - "It" being panties? - Yeah. 911 00:50:58,436 --> 00:51:01,647 - That won't be hard. - It won't? 912 00:51:01,730 --> 00:51:03,817 No, it's like, um... 913 00:51:03,900 --> 00:51:07,195 it's like sussing out whether somebody's into you or not. 914 00:51:07,278 --> 00:51:10,656 When you know it, you know it... you know? 915 00:51:11,199 --> 00:51:13,451 On the other hand, sometimes you can... 916 00:51:15,328 --> 00:51:17,246 suspect... 917 00:51:17,330 --> 00:51:22,543 but you're not... totally sure-sure. 918 00:51:22,626 --> 00:51:26,630 And so, you're left... sitting in that expectation... 919 00:51:27,882 --> 00:51:32,011 waiting for someone to... break the suspense. 920 00:51:43,731 --> 00:51:46,817 Did that clear things up? 921 00:51:49,570 --> 00:51:50,571 No. 922 00:51:52,531 --> 00:51:55,409 In fact, that just made everything a lot more fucking confusing. 923 00:51:56,285 --> 00:51:57,954 [softly] Uh... 924 00:51:58,037 --> 00:51:59,372 Sorry. 925 00:51:59,455 --> 00:52:01,082 It's not your fault. 926 00:52:03,626 --> 00:52:05,128 Yeah, it is. 927 00:52:05,211 --> 00:52:07,338 Okay, yeah. 928 00:52:08,589 --> 00:52:10,341 Yeah, it kind of is. 929 00:52:12,343 --> 00:52:14,387 [R&B song playing] 929 00:52:15,305 --> 00:53:15,221 Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV www.flixify.app