1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV www.flixify.app 2 00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,539 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - - www.addic7ed.com - 3 00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:17,917 No! Vee! Vee! 4 00:01:18,835 --> 00:01:20,587 No, Vee. 5 00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:23,380 Vee, Vee! Vee. 6 00:01:23,465 --> 00:01:25,091 Vee! Vee! 7 00:01:25,174 --> 00:01:27,552 Vee! Vee! Vee! 8 00:01:27,635 --> 00:01:28,720 Shut the fuck up! 9 00:01:28,803 --> 00:01:31,222 Yeah, I've been trying to get some sleep around here! 10 00:01:31,305 --> 00:01:33,641 - What in the hell is wrong with you? - Trying to sleep. 11 00:01:33,725 --> 00:01:34,767 I'm so tired of this shit. 12 00:01:34,851 --> 00:01:37,645 Vee's in trouble. I gotta tell her about the dragon that's coming. 13 00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:40,732 It was a dream, crazy pants. You were dreaming. 14 00:01:40,815 --> 00:01:42,358 - What? - Sit your ass down. 15 00:01:46,821 --> 00:01:48,141 - Just a dream? - Yes! 16 00:01:48,197 --> 00:01:50,867 Like yesterday and the day before that! 17 00:01:50,950 --> 00:01:52,201 Shit! 18 00:01:54,579 --> 00:01:56,122 Damn it! 19 00:01:56,498 --> 00:01:58,875 Sorry. 20 00:02:10,052 --> 00:02:11,345 Rise and shine, ladies. 21 00:02:11,428 --> 00:02:14,181 Another crappy day in prison. 22 00:02:19,812 --> 00:02:21,606 Shut up! 23 00:02:47,381 --> 00:02:48,800 It smells like her. 24 00:02:49,592 --> 00:02:52,386 You wouldn't understand it, you're not a parent. 25 00:02:53,345 --> 00:02:58,100 But the top of your head, right here... it always smells like you. 26 00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:02,980 From the time you're an infant, until you're a fucked-up adult. 27 00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:06,358 Luschek is the fuck up. 28 00:03:06,442 --> 00:03:08,653 Bullshit. Luschek wasn't lying. 29 00:03:08,736 --> 00:03:11,238 That baggie was hers. She told me herself. 30 00:03:12,782 --> 00:03:14,992 A junkie and a hoarder. 31 00:03:15,076 --> 00:03:17,286 He is still the reason that she is down there. 32 00:03:17,369 --> 00:03:19,496 He did not need to name her. 33 00:03:19,581 --> 00:03:22,959 Being angry at him is a waste of time. 34 00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:27,880 Seems more productive than sniffing an old hairbrush. 35 00:03:30,132 --> 00:03:32,384 Hey, Pennsa-fucky. 36 00:03:33,219 --> 00:03:35,930 Hey, you know that Pennsatucky's a nickname. 37 00:03:36,013 --> 00:03:37,264 Mmm-hmm. 38 00:03:37,348 --> 00:03:39,934 So, you don't gotta change it. It's already a name that's not my name. 39 00:03:40,017 --> 00:03:42,729 Yes, but there's always room to riff. 40 00:03:42,812 --> 00:03:44,521 Can I borrow some toothpaste? My commissary's low. 41 00:03:44,606 --> 00:03:46,190 No, I don't got none. 42 00:03:47,149 --> 00:03:48,610 Big Boobs. 43 00:03:48,693 --> 00:03:49,694 Nice one. 44 00:03:50,236 --> 00:03:51,654 How do you not have any toothpaste? 45 00:03:51,738 --> 00:03:54,490 'Cause I don't need any toothpaste. These babies are porcelain. 46 00:03:55,658 --> 00:03:59,536 You know, I sure as hell ain't a dentist, but I don't think that's how it works. 47 00:03:59,621 --> 00:04:02,414 Why? 'Cause you think the Queen of England's just sittin' around, 48 00:04:02,498 --> 00:04:05,960 ordering her butler or whatever to clean the fancy china with Colgate? 49 00:04:06,043 --> 00:04:07,670 No, of course not. 50 00:04:07,754 --> 00:04:11,048 Because plates don't get cavities and neither do these bad boys. 51 00:04:12,049 --> 00:04:16,929 Man... your parents didn't really even do the bare minimum with you. 52 00:04:17,013 --> 00:04:18,430 Oh. 53 00:04:18,514 --> 00:04:23,394 I see your evangeli-crazy fan club is still going full swing. 54 00:04:23,477 --> 00:04:26,272 "Blood will be shed... 55 00:04:26,355 --> 00:04:28,274 for the murdered babies. 56 00:04:28,357 --> 00:04:32,486 We shall stand together and rejoice as the transgressors'... 57 00:04:32,569 --> 00:04:35,615 skin crackles in the fires of hell." 58 00:04:35,698 --> 00:04:38,034 Jesus fucking Christ, that is terrifying. 59 00:04:38,117 --> 00:04:41,203 When you hear it out loud, I see your point. 60 00:04:41,287 --> 00:04:45,082 "Reverend Lawlor circulated your prison ID number. 61 00:04:45,166 --> 00:04:47,376 We hope that you've received our donation, and that you'll... " 62 00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:48,460 Hold up. 63 00:04:48,544 --> 00:04:49,796 Hmm? 64 00:04:49,879 --> 00:04:52,882 These pulsing forehead veins... they give you money? 65 00:04:52,965 --> 00:04:55,635 Yeah, they do in my commissary. 66 00:04:55,718 --> 00:04:57,094 Oh, my God! 67 00:04:57,178 --> 00:04:58,554 Hmm? 68 00:04:58,638 --> 00:05:01,348 That is fucking genius. 69 00:05:01,432 --> 00:05:02,850 I don't know. 70 00:05:04,727 --> 00:05:06,688 I've been having some feelings about it. 71 00:05:07,438 --> 00:05:10,024 Did you know I didn't shoot that nurse lady 72 00:05:10,107 --> 00:05:14,028 for any type of holy righteous thing like they all think? 73 00:05:15,362 --> 00:05:16,613 I, uh... 74 00:05:19,283 --> 00:05:22,619 I got really mad and she hurt my... She hurt my feelings. 75 00:05:22,704 --> 00:05:24,371 And sometimes... 76 00:05:24,455 --> 00:05:28,375 I get this... I get this really bad temper. 77 00:05:29,543 --> 00:05:30,627 Phew. 78 00:05:33,923 --> 00:05:35,549 You still like me or... 79 00:05:35,674 --> 00:05:39,804 Oh, Doggett... don't you know what this means? 80 00:05:39,887 --> 00:05:43,099 Yeah. I'm going to hell. 81 00:05:43,182 --> 00:05:45,309 No, no. 82 00:05:45,392 --> 00:05:48,187 It means you're the normal one. 83 00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:51,858 I mean, come on... some bitch insulted you, so you shot her? 84 00:05:51,941 --> 00:05:54,151 Now, to me, that makes a hell of a lot more sense 85 00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:56,112 than shooting a complete stranger 86 00:05:56,195 --> 00:05:58,280 that you've demonized for your own agenda. 87 00:05:58,364 --> 00:06:01,658 I mean, being too militant about anything... 88 00:06:01,743 --> 00:06:03,327 never ends well. 89 00:06:04,245 --> 00:06:06,622 Those people, they're the nutbags. 90 00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:10,042 - Yep. - Yeah? 91 00:06:10,126 --> 00:06:11,377 - Yep. - Yeah. 92 00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:12,461 I get it. 93 00:06:12,544 --> 00:06:13,629 Yeah! 94 00:06:13,712 --> 00:06:17,424 I need to stop taking nuts from nutbags. All right. 95 00:06:17,508 --> 00:06:19,426 It's time to right my wrongs. 96 00:06:20,594 --> 00:06:22,096 No, no, no, no. 97 00:06:22,179 --> 00:06:25,767 That's... not what I said. 98 00:06:29,686 --> 00:06:32,774 I don't care what you want. I'm not fucking wearing it! 99 00:06:32,857 --> 00:06:35,359 Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time? 100 00:06:35,442 --> 00:06:37,278 Because you're such a good role model. 101 00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:39,030 Do you want the kids to make fun of you? 102 00:06:39,113 --> 00:06:42,074 There's good attention and there's bad attention, Carrie. 103 00:06:42,158 --> 00:06:43,785 I do not understand why you have to 104 00:06:43,868 --> 00:06:45,828 always make things so difficult for yourself! 105 00:06:45,912 --> 00:06:48,205 - I swear to God! - What the hell's going on? 106 00:06:48,289 --> 00:06:50,707 You know, I give up. I give up! 107 00:06:51,708 --> 00:06:53,627 Well, that's... nice. 108 00:06:54,378 --> 00:06:55,671 Are you fucking kidding me? 109 00:06:55,754 --> 00:06:58,632 Enough with the "fuckings." We get that you're a teenager. 110 00:06:58,715 --> 00:07:01,928 - I look like a thumb in a dress. - You know how happy it'll make her. 111 00:07:02,011 --> 00:07:03,805 You're aware of how stupid that is, right? 112 00:07:03,888 --> 00:07:07,433 That I have to go out and pretend to be something I'm not to make her happy? 113 00:07:07,516 --> 00:07:09,268 One day we're asking from you. 114 00:07:09,351 --> 00:07:10,911 I can't go to school like this. I won't. 115 00:07:10,978 --> 00:07:13,940 Well, you don't have a choice. Here's how it works. 116 00:07:14,023 --> 00:07:17,985 You go, you sit, you smile, they flash the little bulb. 117 00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:21,655 Mom has a picture of you to show Grandma that won't make her have another stroke... 118 00:07:21,738 --> 00:07:24,741 and you keep wearing clothes from the boys' section at JC Penney's 119 00:07:24,826 --> 00:07:26,285 on every other day of the year. 120 00:07:26,368 --> 00:07:28,745 - Everyone's happy. - Yeah, except me. 121 00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:31,999 Boy, it must be exhausting. All those raging hormones. 122 00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:36,796 Look, I'll buy you a root beer. I'll put a bendy straw in it. 123 00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:40,341 Do this for your father who has to live with your mother. 124 00:07:40,925 --> 00:07:41,968 Please. 125 00:07:42,927 --> 00:07:45,471 Fine. But you're both assholes. 126 00:07:45,554 --> 00:07:48,390 There's my sweet little buttercup! 127 00:07:57,441 --> 00:07:58,567 Library later? 128 00:08:00,319 --> 00:08:01,528 I have a headache. 129 00:08:04,365 --> 00:08:08,160 What are you? A '50s housewife? We haven't had sex in a week. 130 00:08:10,121 --> 00:08:12,373 Lesbian bed death. It's a thing. Look it up. 131 00:08:12,456 --> 00:08:14,959 Yeah, I'm familiar with it, and it's bullshit. 132 00:08:15,042 --> 00:08:16,168 Hmm. 133 00:08:17,128 --> 00:08:20,297 Come on, maybe we can't... hate-fuck anymore, 134 00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:22,716 but we can still love-fuck, right? 135 00:08:23,634 --> 00:08:26,846 - Love-fuck? - Yeah. 136 00:08:26,929 --> 00:08:29,015 Oh, that's so unappealing, my nipples inverted. 137 00:08:29,098 --> 00:08:30,516 Come on. 138 00:08:31,392 --> 00:08:34,311 It's the only thing that feels normal to me right now. 139 00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:36,605 Which should tell you how messed up I am. 140 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:39,859 Let me feel your normals. 141 00:08:39,942 --> 00:08:41,652 Alex, can we drop this? 142 00:08:41,735 --> 00:08:45,239 God, you're acting so pissy. It's making me kind of hot. 143 00:08:45,322 --> 00:08:48,492 Not today, okay? Stop. 144 00:08:49,326 --> 00:08:50,411 Is this about Nicky? 145 00:08:51,871 --> 00:08:52,997 I miss her, too. 146 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,165 But she, of all people, 147 00:08:54,248 --> 00:08:56,083 would want us getting off in her honor. 148 00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,669 You're the worst. 149 00:09:01,088 --> 00:09:02,464 Oh, shit. 150 00:09:04,258 --> 00:09:06,802 It's June 7th. 151 00:09:07,469 --> 00:09:10,847 - Oh, my God. - Can you not tell anyone, please? 152 00:09:12,391 --> 00:09:14,851 Because you know how I feel about June 7ths. 153 00:09:14,936 --> 00:09:16,520 Okay. 154 00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:21,317 Your wish is my command, princess. Oh, that'd be a fun role-play. 155 00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:23,277 Genie and Aladdin. 156 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,530 "Free me from this lamp, street urchin!" 157 00:09:26,613 --> 00:09:29,075 No? All right, we'll work up to it. 158 00:09:31,077 --> 00:09:33,329 Good, good, good, good. 159 00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:35,789 Hope you're enjoying the provisions, folks. 160 00:09:35,872 --> 00:09:39,210 We're gonna need you to put your best caffeinated foot forward today. 161 00:09:39,293 --> 00:09:41,128 - Where's the cream? - No cream. 162 00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:42,546 2%, you want that? 163 00:09:42,629 --> 00:09:44,173 Fig always bought cream. 164 00:09:44,256 --> 00:09:46,050 Let's go. Sit down. 165 00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:48,135 How long is this gonna take? 166 00:09:48,219 --> 00:09:51,430 Remember a week ago, when you were all crying about losing your jobs? 167 00:09:51,513 --> 00:09:54,225 Remember how horrible that was gonna be? Hmm? 168 00:09:54,308 --> 00:09:57,728 Well, good old Joe here might have found a solution to the problem. 169 00:09:57,811 --> 00:09:59,646 Now it's your turn to help yourselves. 170 00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:00,856 Yes? 171 00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:03,067 Did you just refer to yourself in the third person? 172 00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:05,861 I don't trust these people. 173 00:10:05,945 --> 00:10:08,572 Who buys property without any comps in the neighborhood? 174 00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:09,991 Can't be a good investment. 175 00:10:10,074 --> 00:10:14,161 They're not buying it... all right? Litchfield will remain a federal property. 176 00:10:14,245 --> 00:10:17,039 MCC would manage it and retain any profits. 177 00:10:17,123 --> 00:10:18,540 Look, guys, it's a long shot. 178 00:10:18,624 --> 00:10:20,784 They're considering several facilities at the moment... 179 00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:25,006 but I convinced them... that we were worth being on that list. 180 00:10:25,089 --> 00:10:26,548 So, you lied to them. 181 00:10:28,425 --> 00:10:30,719 I merely let them know that we're a good bet. 182 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:32,721 Sounds like lying. 183 00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:38,102 There are many misconceptions... 184 00:10:38,894 --> 00:10:43,190 about the costs and difficulty associated with female prisons, 185 00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:46,318 which I will clear up for them on the tour today. 186 00:10:46,402 --> 00:10:49,280 These poochies be difficult. For real, though. 187 00:10:50,447 --> 00:10:53,075 Look, help me out. 188 00:10:53,159 --> 00:10:55,244 Don't be stupid. 189 00:10:55,327 --> 00:10:57,079 I've already prepped a few inmates. 190 00:10:57,163 --> 00:10:59,248 If you see something these people shouldn't see, 191 00:10:59,331 --> 00:11:01,292 solve the problem quickly and quietly. 192 00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:04,878 Managing this place for the Feds? I don't like the smell of that. 193 00:11:04,961 --> 00:11:07,256 How does unemployment smell? Good? 194 00:11:07,339 --> 00:11:09,966 Smells good to you? 195 00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:17,891 Yo, you kept me up all night... and now I gotta eat with your ass, too? 196 00:11:17,974 --> 00:11:20,227 Man, don't say "eat" and "ass" so close together 197 00:11:20,311 --> 00:11:21,728 while I'm trying to eat breakfast. 198 00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:23,814 Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 199 00:11:23,897 --> 00:11:25,941 Technically, there's only one side of the bed 200 00:11:26,024 --> 00:11:27,901 because the other side is up against the partition, 201 00:11:27,984 --> 00:11:28,985 which wouldn't allow... 202 00:11:29,070 --> 00:11:31,738 - Will you shut the hell up? - Shit, it's too early for this. 203 00:11:31,822 --> 00:11:33,657 You know what? Somebody wanna explain to me 204 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,117 why she's sitting with us, anyway? 205 00:11:35,201 --> 00:11:37,369 I mean, since when did we start chilling with bitch-ass followers 206 00:11:37,453 --> 00:11:40,956 who beat the shit out of people just 'cause some crazy lunatic says to? 207 00:11:41,707 --> 00:11:44,626 Sound like some vengeful Simon Says bullshit, if you ask me. 208 00:11:44,710 --> 00:11:46,378 I was just clarifying the bed issue. 209 00:11:46,462 --> 00:11:48,255 Clarity is important. 210 00:11:48,339 --> 00:11:51,342 "You should be meticulous with your words." 211 00:11:51,425 --> 00:11:53,385 That's what Vee would say. 212 00:11:53,469 --> 00:11:56,472 Except she don't say shit now... 213 00:11:57,389 --> 00:12:00,058 'cause everybody be saying, "That bitch got smushed 214 00:12:00,142 --> 00:12:01,518 like a bug on a windshield." 215 00:12:01,602 --> 00:12:03,042 - Here we go. - No. No. 216 00:12:03,104 --> 00:12:06,898 You're a liar. She's fine! Vee is fine! 217 00:12:06,982 --> 00:12:09,067 She's coming back for me! 218 00:12:09,151 --> 00:12:11,445 Hey, hey, hey. Take care of your girl. 219 00:12:11,528 --> 00:12:13,029 I ain't her keeper. 220 00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:14,740 It's you or the SHU. 221 00:12:14,823 --> 00:12:16,908 - You wanna be responsible for that? - Really? 222 00:12:20,954 --> 00:12:23,540 Suzanne, sit down. 223 00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:28,003 P... 224 00:12:29,045 --> 00:12:31,340 switch seats and don't talk to her! 225 00:12:31,423 --> 00:12:33,342 You wanna carry that grudge, be my guest, 226 00:12:33,425 --> 00:12:36,512 but I don't see how them scrawny chicken legs can stand the extra weight. 227 00:12:39,848 --> 00:12:43,185 My legs ain't scrawny... they're proportional. 228 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,658 Hey, hey. 229 00:12:57,741 --> 00:13:01,287 - Nicky will be okay. - How do you know? 230 00:13:02,037 --> 00:13:05,582 I don't. I just... It's a thing people say, right? 231 00:13:07,168 --> 00:13:08,877 I'll get your tray. 232 00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:15,842 Yo, careful, you're gonna splatter. 233 00:13:17,261 --> 00:13:20,264 That mother... fucker. 234 00:13:23,016 --> 00:13:25,727 - Bennett fucked Aleida? - No, you idiot. 235 00:13:25,811 --> 00:13:27,521 Oh, like that's such a crazy question. 236 00:13:27,604 --> 00:13:30,023 These eggs smell like ass. 237 00:13:30,106 --> 00:13:32,693 Gloria must have used that fart seasoning. 238 00:13:35,237 --> 00:13:38,199 Yo, you're fucking children, yo. I can't deal with it today. 239 00:13:55,799 --> 00:13:59,761 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth... " 240 00:13:59,845 --> 00:14:01,179 Really, "lieth"? 241 00:14:01,263 --> 00:14:02,931 You can't say that word without a lisp. 242 00:14:03,014 --> 00:14:04,725 Who are these people kidding? God was the original fag. 243 00:14:04,808 --> 00:14:09,062 Look... I happen to think this church of hers isn't deserving of the title, 244 00:14:09,145 --> 00:14:11,607 and we have a deal... but don't push me. 245 00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:13,942 You're right, Sister. My bad. 246 00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:16,278 "As he lieth with woman, they are both committing an abomination, 247 00:14:16,362 --> 00:14:19,448 they shall surely be put to death, their blood will be upon them." Boom. 248 00:14:19,531 --> 00:14:22,576 - And? - Leviticus, 24601. 249 00:14:23,785 --> 00:14:26,497 23:13, 20. 250 00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:29,750 - Not Jean Val-jean’s prison number. - Good catch. 251 00:14:29,833 --> 00:14:32,836 - Thou shalt not make musical references. - Why not? 252 00:14:32,919 --> 00:14:36,298 Because that's, like, the gayest thing on the planet and even I know that. 253 00:14:36,382 --> 00:14:40,636 That is an ugly stereotype... about gay men. 254 00:14:40,719 --> 00:14:43,555 See, everybody knows my people are stage managers, not performers. 255 00:14:43,639 --> 00:14:45,891 Oh, remember to talk about the light... a lot. 256 00:14:45,974 --> 00:14:48,269 Walking into the light. Following the light. 257 00:14:48,352 --> 00:14:50,229 That's good. Yep. Remember that, Boo. 258 00:14:50,312 --> 00:14:52,898 Are you sure you're prepared for this? 259 00:14:52,981 --> 00:14:56,568 Eastberg Baptist is all hate, all the time. 260 00:14:57,778 --> 00:15:00,864 Jesus' girlfriend's got a real good point. 261 00:15:00,947 --> 00:15:03,116 'Cause licking gravy boats has kind of been your whole thing. 262 00:15:03,199 --> 00:15:06,495 And Reverend Lawlor, he's got a lot of opinions. 263 00:15:06,578 --> 00:15:09,164 Okay, look. Nobody is talking about 264 00:15:09,248 --> 00:15:12,083 conceding my hard-earned position as Lord of the Lesbians. 265 00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:15,921 I'm just... embracing the gray areas to make a buck. 266 00:15:16,004 --> 00:15:19,132 Black and white, that's for zebras and Michael Jackson. 267 00:15:19,215 --> 00:15:21,802 - Wait, ain't he dead? - Exactly. 268 00:15:23,178 --> 00:15:24,263 Here you go, Sister. 269 00:15:24,346 --> 00:15:28,434 - In lieu of a mattress. - Oh. Pleasure doing business with you. 270 00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:30,769 And finally, 271 00:15:30,852 --> 00:15:34,315 what led you to see how far you strayed from the Christian life, Miss Black? 272 00:15:34,398 --> 00:15:35,399 Oh. 273 00:15:35,482 --> 00:15:39,235 Well... I hadn't found the right man, of course. 274 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,740 But then... this chubby Santa Claus-looking guard showed up, 275 00:15:43,824 --> 00:15:45,284 and boom! 276 00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:46,618 One look at his meaty ass 277 00:15:46,702 --> 00:15:49,330 and I was sticky in the knickers for monogamous hetero love. 278 00:15:54,543 --> 00:15:57,879 - - Whoo! 279 00:15:59,673 --> 00:16:00,924 Hey, girl. 280 00:16:13,937 --> 00:16:15,356 - You okay? - Yeah. 281 00:16:20,861 --> 00:16:21,862 How's it look? 282 00:16:21,945 --> 00:16:25,616 Oh, clear skies with 100% chance of pussy after midnight. 283 00:16:25,699 --> 00:16:29,035 - I'm talking about the Browns game. - Oh! Five point spread. Steelers. 284 00:16:29,119 --> 00:16:30,537 Fuckers! All right. 285 00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:34,541 I'll take... our boys... 286 00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:35,876 - Yeah. - ATS. 287 00:16:37,127 --> 00:16:38,545 Good luck. 288 00:16:38,629 --> 00:16:39,630 Ha! 289 00:16:39,713 --> 00:16:41,840 Hey, Marcus. 290 00:16:41,923 --> 00:16:44,926 Tell your boy over there he owes me 200 by Monday. 291 00:16:45,010 --> 00:16:46,011 Cut him some slack. 292 00:16:46,094 --> 00:16:48,555 That is not the business that I'm in, my brother. 293 00:16:53,602 --> 00:16:54,978 Oh, I know this one. 294 00:17:01,192 --> 00:17:04,530 - Well, hello there. - Hi. 295 00:17:04,613 --> 00:17:05,656 Rum and Coke, right? 296 00:17:07,157 --> 00:17:08,784 I'm very intuitive. 297 00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:11,953 - It's my favorite. - Yeah? 298 00:17:12,037 --> 00:17:14,873 Tastes like vacation in a cup. 299 00:17:17,668 --> 00:17:20,211 That was the stupidest thing I've ever said. 300 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,593 - Uh, my name's Carrie. - Tracy. 301 00:17:26,677 --> 00:17:30,806 Tracy? Well... it is nice to meet you. 302 00:17:34,017 --> 00:17:36,728 I'm having such a good time with you. 303 00:17:36,812 --> 00:17:39,481 No, it's... It's okay, isn't it? 304 00:17:39,565 --> 00:17:41,400 Oh, oh. 305 00:17:41,483 --> 00:17:43,068 Look where you are. 306 00:17:48,323 --> 00:17:49,533 I live really close to here. 307 00:17:49,616 --> 00:17:52,703 Do you wanna go there and... have another drink? 308 00:17:53,829 --> 00:17:57,916 - Yeah, let's do that. - Let's do that. 309 00:17:57,999 --> 00:17:59,209 - Okay. - Yeah. 310 00:17:59,292 --> 00:18:00,711 Fucking dykes. 311 00:18:00,794 --> 00:18:02,212 Are you fucking kidding me? 312 00:18:02,295 --> 00:18:04,715 You think you're a tough guy, you cocktail wiener? 313 00:18:04,798 --> 00:18:06,467 Answer me, you fuckwad! 314 00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:09,010 I should fucking kill you, you fucking asshole! 315 00:18:09,094 --> 00:18:11,012 I'll stuff your little cock down your throat! 316 00:18:11,096 --> 00:18:12,514 Get out of here! 317 00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:14,182 Get the fuck out of here! 318 00:18:14,265 --> 00:18:17,728 That's right. Run, you homophobic little bitch! 319 00:18:17,811 --> 00:18:18,812 Um... 320 00:18:19,771 --> 00:18:21,147 I'm going home. 321 00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:25,276 What? Don't let that little shit ruin our night. 322 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,821 You ruined our night. 323 00:18:28,447 --> 00:18:29,490 Seriously? 324 00:18:29,573 --> 00:18:31,450 You can't blame a stupid kid 325 00:18:31,533 --> 00:18:34,745 when you're the poster child for all things butch! 326 00:18:36,121 --> 00:18:38,499 You were so hot before you were a cunt. 327 00:18:38,582 --> 00:18:41,668 What the fuck happened to you to make you so angry? 328 00:18:41,752 --> 00:18:45,756 Oh, I wish I had some sob story that would explain everything. 329 00:18:45,839 --> 00:18:50,677 Well, sorry to disappoint you, sugar. Ain't no dramatic origin story here. 330 00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:53,597 Just a big old dyke who refuses to apologize for it. 331 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:57,809 You know, c'est moi... you prissy, homophobic, self-hating bitch. 332 00:19:00,979 --> 00:19:03,314 It was really great meeting you. 333 00:19:12,407 --> 00:19:13,534 Fuck. 334 00:19:13,617 --> 00:19:15,410 Thank you so much for coming. Joe Caputo. 335 00:19:15,494 --> 00:19:18,997 Hi, Joe. We spoke on the phone. Elizabeth Wilkinson, SVP of Acquisitions. 336 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,541 Yes, hi. 337 00:19:20,624 --> 00:19:23,585 - Jack. SVP of Strategic Planning. - Jack. 338 00:19:23,669 --> 00:19:26,630 - Robert. SVP of Development. - Robert. 339 00:19:26,713 --> 00:19:28,965 Well, thank you so much for hearing us out today. 340 00:19:29,049 --> 00:19:33,720 I think you will find that Litchfield will make a great addition to your company. 341 00:19:33,804 --> 00:19:35,597 Not according to our cost analysis. 342 00:19:37,641 --> 00:19:38,850 Hey there. 343 00:19:38,934 --> 00:19:40,018 - Joe Caputo. - Oh. 344 00:19:40,101 --> 00:19:42,228 Hey. Danny Pearson. Good to meet you. 345 00:19:42,312 --> 00:19:44,648 Hey, I remember those days. Don't let them get you down. 346 00:19:44,731 --> 00:19:46,650 Oh, yeah. This is... 347 00:19:46,733 --> 00:19:48,944 - Hey, can I ask you something? - Sure thing. 348 00:19:50,028 --> 00:19:51,655 Am I dressed appropriately? 349 00:19:51,738 --> 00:19:53,949 I'm new and the e-mail said no khaki, 350 00:19:54,032 --> 00:19:56,993 and then I wasn't sure whether to go dressy or casual. 351 00:19:57,077 --> 00:19:59,663 And the more I thought about it, slacks just seemed... 352 00:19:59,746 --> 00:20:02,165 I don't know. You ever worry about 353 00:20:02,248 --> 00:20:04,626 throwing your freedom of choice in their faces 354 00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:07,796 like you're showing off to the... women? 355 00:20:08,504 --> 00:20:09,881 We prefer to call them "inmates." 356 00:20:09,965 --> 00:20:14,010 - And you look just fine, Danny. - Oh, great. Thanks. 357 00:20:14,094 --> 00:20:15,554 Let's get started, huh? 358 00:20:15,637 --> 00:20:18,557 I mean, you would have died. Second row. Can you even... 359 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:22,393 I could basically smell Trey Anastasio's BO. 360 00:20:22,477 --> 00:20:24,479 Oh, and Brittani with an "I," not a "Y... " 361 00:20:24,563 --> 00:20:27,733 she totally smuggled in, like, an eighth of that strawberry Kush hybrid 362 00:20:27,816 --> 00:20:30,777 that Feinberg's been growing. 363 00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:33,404 It was such a killer night. 364 00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:36,532 Anyway, I miss you. 365 00:20:38,785 --> 00:20:40,954 That's so fun, Meadow. 366 00:20:42,748 --> 00:20:44,290 Are you okay? 367 00:20:44,374 --> 00:20:45,667 Mmm... 368 00:20:46,668 --> 00:20:47,961 No. 369 00:20:48,044 --> 00:20:49,588 Everyone's been talking about you. 370 00:20:49,671 --> 00:20:52,423 You know, how badass it is that you're actually here. 371 00:20:52,507 --> 00:20:55,260 How the rest of us, we wouldn't be able to survive in prison. 372 00:20:55,343 --> 00:20:59,097 But look at you. You're doing it. It is so cool. 373 00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:00,223 Oh. 374 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,184 Are you fucking kidding me? 375 00:21:04,269 --> 00:21:07,731 Your vibe's different. Are you sure you're okay? 376 00:21:07,814 --> 00:21:11,109 If this is about the Pema Chödrön fight we had right before you left, 377 00:21:11,192 --> 00:21:14,821 - it's really not a big deal... - Prison is not cool. 378 00:21:17,157 --> 00:21:19,660 Being here is not cool. 379 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:26,792 It's not brave or admirable or courageous. 380 00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:28,334 It's stupid. 381 00:21:30,295 --> 00:21:33,006 I feel stupid for being in here... 382 00:21:34,883 --> 00:21:38,845 and stupid for thinking that it wouldn't ruin my life 383 00:21:38,929 --> 00:21:40,681 and that it would be okay. 384 00:21:40,764 --> 00:21:43,058 And I'm not surviving. 385 00:21:43,141 --> 00:21:46,561 I'm just... existing. 386 00:21:47,938 --> 00:21:53,151 You know, I drove, like, three hours to get here, right? 387 00:21:54,695 --> 00:21:58,657 Well... you don't have to ever again. 388 00:22:02,994 --> 00:22:05,554 _ 389 00:22:06,247 --> 00:22:11,002 Benito Mendoza... look at me. Right now. 390 00:22:15,131 --> 00:22:18,134 _ 391 00:22:18,218 --> 00:22:20,971 Talking about him like he's not at the table won't help. 392 00:22:21,054 --> 00:22:23,556 You want to raise your own kids? Go right ahead. 393 00:22:23,639 --> 00:22:24,975 I'm sorry. 394 00:22:25,058 --> 00:22:28,269 You know how thankful I am for you. 395 00:22:30,230 --> 00:22:31,231 Gloria. 396 00:22:31,314 --> 00:22:33,316 He's impossible. 397 00:22:34,192 --> 00:22:35,902 And he's so strong now. 398 00:22:35,986 --> 00:22:38,529 The bigger he gets, the more out of control I feel. 399 00:22:39,197 --> 00:22:41,407 He kicks, he yells. 400 00:22:41,491 --> 00:22:43,284 Last week, he slammed the door so hard, 401 00:22:43,368 --> 00:22:45,912 the plaster split from one side of the door to the other. 402 00:22:48,581 --> 00:22:50,381 Oh, you think that's funny? 403 00:22:51,793 --> 00:22:53,086 You listen to me. 404 00:22:54,170 --> 00:22:55,756 You think you hot shit? 405 00:22:55,839 --> 00:22:57,048 You think because I messed up, 406 00:22:57,132 --> 00:22:58,466 you're gonna follow in your mother's footsteps? 407 00:22:58,549 --> 00:23:00,761 Well, let me tell you something, you're dead wrong. 408 00:23:00,844 --> 00:23:03,179 From now on, you're gonna come here. 409 00:23:03,263 --> 00:23:06,141 Every week, you're gonna bring your homework. 410 00:23:06,224 --> 00:23:10,603 And if you don't, I will make your life a living hell... 411 00:23:10,686 --> 00:23:11,980 even from in here. 412 00:23:12,063 --> 00:23:13,689 Try me. 413 00:23:13,774 --> 00:23:16,109 I'll call my brothers from Washington Heights... 414 00:23:16,192 --> 00:23:18,361 and they will hang your ass over that bridge... 415 00:23:18,444 --> 00:23:22,240 until you piss on yourself and it comes running down your body into your mouth. 416 00:23:23,741 --> 00:23:25,994 That's the kind of shit they live for. 417 00:23:28,246 --> 00:23:29,956 Every week, Benito. 418 00:23:31,792 --> 00:23:34,752 You hear me, little boy? Every week. 419 00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:42,778 _ 420 00:23:42,803 --> 00:23:44,930 _ 421 00:23:54,856 --> 00:23:57,358 Here... let me get that. 422 00:23:57,442 --> 00:24:00,611 - Here. - Oh, you didn't have to do that. 423 00:24:00,695 --> 00:24:04,365 Well, you didn't have to say all those nice things about me to Katya, either. 424 00:24:04,449 --> 00:24:06,576 Your Russian really must be terrible. 425 00:24:07,869 --> 00:24:11,289 - You called me a good man. - I only said what I believed. 426 00:24:14,792 --> 00:24:15,961 Are you all right? 427 00:24:17,378 --> 00:24:19,339 Your eyes look glassy. 428 00:24:20,798 --> 00:24:23,426 I feel like I lost a child. 429 00:24:25,761 --> 00:24:26,972 I'm sorry, Galina. 430 00:24:32,018 --> 00:24:34,645 I thought I could save her. 431 00:24:36,689 --> 00:24:40,693 If someone jumps into shark-infested waters... 432 00:24:40,776 --> 00:24:42,778 you can't jump in after them. 433 00:24:59,212 --> 00:25:00,296 Cafeteria. 434 00:25:00,380 --> 00:25:03,091 I know. I told them that she's doing fine, 435 00:25:03,174 --> 00:25:05,760 that she's sitting under... She's sitting under a tree somewhere, 436 00:25:05,843 --> 00:25:08,179 eating a Pink Lady apple. Oh! Oh. 437 00:25:08,263 --> 00:25:09,847 'Cause Vee loves Pink Lady apples. 438 00:25:09,931 --> 00:25:14,185 And she's thinking about me... just like I'm thinking about her. 439 00:25:15,896 --> 00:25:16,938 It's gonna work out. 440 00:25:17,605 --> 00:25:19,399 How much are you spending on meals? 441 00:25:19,482 --> 00:25:24,487 $1.79 per inmate per meal. $5.37 a day. 442 00:25:25,780 --> 00:25:30,118 We find that women eat less than men, so we're able to keep our food costs low. 443 00:25:30,201 --> 00:25:32,745 The national average is $1.58. 444 00:25:32,828 --> 00:25:37,500 We've heard some discouraging things about housing a female population. 445 00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:42,047 Do you find it's more difficult because of their health requirements? 446 00:25:44,674 --> 00:25:48,803 You know, the great thing is, the ladies here are all synced up. 447 00:25:48,886 --> 00:25:51,389 So... it's a real rough couple of days, 448 00:25:51,472 --> 00:25:54,309 but at least it's not spread out, you know? 449 00:25:54,392 --> 00:25:56,561 I grew up with three sisters and a mother in the house, 450 00:25:56,644 --> 00:25:59,439 so, we had to batten down the hatches. 451 00:25:59,522 --> 00:26:01,024 Lucky I made it out of there alive. 452 00:26:04,402 --> 00:26:05,778 Let's move on to the kitchen. 453 00:26:07,863 --> 00:26:11,617 Inmate Mendoza, glad you can join us. What's on the menu today? 454 00:26:12,493 --> 00:26:13,744 Food. 455 00:26:13,828 --> 00:26:16,456 It's a Cuban garbanzo bean stew-type thingy. 456 00:26:16,539 --> 00:26:19,500 We got a whole case of it last week, and Gloria, 457 00:26:19,584 --> 00:26:23,504 she figured out a way how to stretch them after we picked out all the rotten ones. 458 00:26:26,049 --> 00:26:29,885 We find that our inmates are one of our best assets. 459 00:26:29,970 --> 00:26:31,262 They are very resourceful, 460 00:26:31,346 --> 00:26:34,515 and we rely on them to help us get through the day. 461 00:26:34,599 --> 00:26:37,560 Yeah, like this one time, everyone got the shits real bad 462 00:26:37,643 --> 00:26:39,020 from eating old pork or whatever, 463 00:26:39,104 --> 00:26:41,189 so we served white bread for the next couple of days. 464 00:26:41,272 --> 00:26:44,317 It was real good for the tummy. It sopped up all the badness. 465 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:48,696 Hey, Joe, are you guys on the codified national meal schedule? 466 00:26:48,779 --> 00:26:52,200 You know, I'm... I'm not sure about... 467 00:26:53,368 --> 00:26:55,786 - I'm gonna look into that, Danny. - Great, take your time. 468 00:26:55,870 --> 00:26:59,415 Yeah, let's keep moving, huh? Right this way. 469 00:27:02,043 --> 00:27:04,420 When are you two gonna learn how to shut up? 470 00:27:04,504 --> 00:27:07,590 You're like Lucy and Ethel without the charm. 471 00:27:07,673 --> 00:27:10,301 - We was just trying to help. - You wanna help? 472 00:27:10,385 --> 00:27:13,638 Start by shutting up and doing what I ask you to do. 473 00:27:13,721 --> 00:27:16,432 Stop gabbing while you're serving. 474 00:27:16,516 --> 00:27:20,853 Stop thinking that anyone needs you to do more than your job. 475 00:27:20,936 --> 00:27:22,313 Jeez. 476 00:27:24,065 --> 00:27:25,608 - You got your period? - Yes. 477 00:27:25,691 --> 00:27:26,734 Me, too. 478 00:27:26,817 --> 00:27:29,237 Oh. It all makes sense now. 479 00:27:30,488 --> 00:27:31,648 If you follow the power cord, 480 00:27:31,697 --> 00:27:32,907 - it'll lead you... - I know. 481 00:27:32,990 --> 00:27:35,285 I'm just saying, it'll lead you to the fuse. 482 00:27:35,368 --> 00:27:37,120 I don't need your help... 483 00:27:37,203 --> 00:27:40,623 you disgusting little vole. 484 00:27:41,457 --> 00:27:44,335 Don't you talk to me. Don't you look at me. 485 00:27:44,419 --> 00:27:48,005 And go ahead... give me a shot for being insubordinate. 486 00:27:48,089 --> 00:27:49,549 I don't give a fuck. 487 00:27:53,053 --> 00:27:56,222 Am I at least allowed to ask what a vole is? 488 00:27:56,306 --> 00:27:57,473 Right this way. 489 00:27:59,434 --> 00:28:01,311 Chapman, how are we doing today? 490 00:28:01,977 --> 00:28:04,980 We are doing so great, Mr. Caputo. 491 00:28:05,065 --> 00:28:06,982 Would you mind explaining 492 00:28:07,067 --> 00:28:09,444 what it is you're doing today, for our guests? 493 00:28:09,527 --> 00:28:10,903 Absolutely. 494 00:28:10,986 --> 00:28:14,990 The microwave... it stopped working yesterday, 495 00:28:15,075 --> 00:28:17,618 so I'm trying to fix it. 496 00:28:19,454 --> 00:28:21,122 By assigning our inmates work duty, 497 00:28:21,206 --> 00:28:25,376 we avoid the exorbitant cost of hiring outside contractors. 498 00:28:25,460 --> 00:28:27,587 Everybody contributes to the community. 499 00:28:27,670 --> 00:28:30,005 Well, not everyone. 500 00:28:30,090 --> 00:28:32,633 Some people try to... destroy it. 501 00:28:33,593 --> 00:28:35,428 What seems to be the problem there? 502 00:28:35,511 --> 00:28:38,931 The... thermal fuse blew. 503 00:28:39,682 --> 00:28:41,434 And you can fix that by yourself, honey? 504 00:28:43,228 --> 00:28:45,313 Well, I sure can... 505 00:28:45,396 --> 00:28:48,774 if I concentrate extra hard with my lady brain. 506 00:28:50,193 --> 00:28:51,277 Thank you, Chapman. 507 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:53,779 Right this way. 508 00:28:57,658 --> 00:29:02,080 We're gonna make you look real natural. Don't worry. 509 00:29:03,289 --> 00:29:04,332 Mmm. 510 00:29:04,415 --> 00:29:08,919 Go ahead and call me Jesus from now on, 'cause this bitch just worked a miracle. 511 00:29:09,003 --> 00:29:10,671 It really is something. 512 00:29:10,755 --> 00:29:12,298 Yeah, it's definitely something. 513 00:29:12,382 --> 00:29:16,051 Man, I cannot wait to fleece this motherfucker. 514 00:29:16,136 --> 00:29:18,596 I'm actually, like, all tingly and shit. 515 00:29:18,679 --> 00:29:22,517 Okay. All finished. 516 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,186 - Show me my big, beautiful self! - Okay, almost there. 517 00:29:25,270 --> 00:29:26,812 - Just hold on, all right? - All right. 518 00:29:26,896 --> 00:29:30,441 - There... we... go. - Uh-huh. 519 00:29:30,525 --> 00:29:32,152 Oh, I love this part! 520 00:29:32,235 --> 00:29:34,028 This is like that TV show 521 00:29:34,112 --> 00:29:37,698 where they gave those ladies the plastic surgery makeover 522 00:29:37,782 --> 00:29:40,910 and then all their problems just went away after. 523 00:29:41,744 --> 00:29:43,579 Okay, here we go. 524 00:29:45,206 --> 00:29:47,750 Oh, my God! I'm sorry, I can't help it. 525 00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:50,795 I just love makeovers and you look so pretty. 526 00:29:50,878 --> 00:29:53,464 Boo, you look fucking weird. 527 00:29:54,507 --> 00:29:55,550 What? She does. 528 00:29:56,676 --> 00:29:57,885 No, um... 529 00:30:01,055 --> 00:30:02,890 I look like my mother. 530 00:30:09,104 --> 00:30:12,400 Carrie! Oh! Oh, God! 531 00:30:19,574 --> 00:30:20,575 Oh, my God! 532 00:30:27,873 --> 00:30:30,793 Fuck, I love you. 533 00:30:31,669 --> 00:30:33,504 Says the girl who just came. 534 00:30:34,464 --> 00:30:37,800 I don't see why that's not a perfectly valid reason to love someone. 535 00:30:37,883 --> 00:30:39,177 Well... 536 00:30:42,012 --> 00:30:43,764 And do you know why I love you? 537 00:30:44,724 --> 00:30:47,393 - Because I have great tits? - Exactly. 538 00:30:51,939 --> 00:30:54,650 Jesus, don't get me going again, girl. 539 00:31:02,074 --> 00:31:03,701 Can I ask you something? 540 00:31:04,910 --> 00:31:06,746 Not if it's about my mother. 541 00:31:06,829 --> 00:31:08,498 Carrie, come on. 542 00:31:10,583 --> 00:31:11,834 Talk to me. 543 00:31:17,215 --> 00:31:20,510 Remember when we were fucking? Gee, that was fun. 544 00:31:22,220 --> 00:31:25,473 Your mom is sick and you're not gonna go see her? That's not normal. 545 00:31:25,556 --> 00:31:28,100 You're right, I'm not normal. I'm queer. 546 00:31:28,183 --> 00:31:31,854 Wait, did you not know we were lesbos? 547 00:31:31,937 --> 00:31:33,231 My bad, I should have told you. 548 00:31:33,314 --> 00:31:34,732 You must have been very confused. 549 00:31:35,650 --> 00:31:37,777 Look, I don't get why you're holding on to this. 550 00:31:38,486 --> 00:31:41,196 Look at you, you're living your life, you have me. 551 00:31:41,281 --> 00:31:43,574 You don't have to keep fighting the world. 552 00:31:44,825 --> 00:31:46,744 I mean, isn't forgiving her easier than not? 553 00:31:46,827 --> 00:31:49,163 Oh, Christ. I don't fucking know. 554 00:31:51,916 --> 00:31:55,461 Look, I'm worried if you don't go see her, you're gonna regret it. 555 00:31:59,131 --> 00:32:03,010 Those little baskets of seashells everywhere really freak me out. 556 00:32:03,093 --> 00:32:05,054 - It's weird living back home. - Right. 557 00:32:05,137 --> 00:32:08,140 They said it was going to be two weeks, and yet it's been six. 558 00:32:08,223 --> 00:32:11,602 The sustainable wood for the micro-house is on backorder. 559 00:32:11,686 --> 00:32:12,895 Isn't that amazing? 560 00:32:12,978 --> 00:32:16,857 Who would have thought that wood could be on backorder? 561 00:32:17,650 --> 00:32:19,819 Are they waiting for the trees to grow? 562 00:32:19,902 --> 00:32:22,780 Are you waiting for the oceans to rise and reclaim their bounty? 563 00:32:22,863 --> 00:32:24,449 Oh. 564 00:32:24,532 --> 00:32:26,617 Isn't this fun? 565 00:32:26,701 --> 00:32:27,993 What's with your new look? 566 00:32:28,077 --> 00:32:31,331 Did you join a World War II reenactment group? 567 00:32:31,414 --> 00:32:32,665 Well, that's dark. 568 00:32:32,748 --> 00:32:35,042 Cal's gotten into the postmodern ice-cream movement. 569 00:32:35,125 --> 00:32:37,252 Been doing some really interesting experiments with nitrogen. 570 00:32:37,337 --> 00:32:40,340 I'm working on a BLT flavor at this moment. 571 00:32:40,423 --> 00:32:41,924 And, when we get enough money, 572 00:32:42,007 --> 00:32:44,302 we're gonna open an old-fashioned ice cream parlor 573 00:32:44,385 --> 00:32:48,389 but with future-now flavors for an experiential mash-up. 574 00:32:48,473 --> 00:32:49,890 So I decided to, you know, 575 00:32:49,974 --> 00:32:52,101 - perfect my look, now. - Mmm-hmm. 576 00:32:52,184 --> 00:32:55,730 I'm bidding online for a wearable bass drum as we speak. 577 00:32:55,813 --> 00:32:57,482 It's all happening. 578 00:32:58,733 --> 00:32:59,942 Enough about us. 579 00:33:00,025 --> 00:33:01,611 How's your birthday, darling? 580 00:33:01,694 --> 00:33:04,697 Did you get any presents from your prison friends? 581 00:33:04,780 --> 00:33:09,076 I haven't told anyone it's my birthday, so, nope, no presents. 582 00:33:12,079 --> 00:33:14,206 Are you not gonna say anything? 583 00:33:15,708 --> 00:33:17,418 I don't have anything to say. 584 00:33:18,878 --> 00:33:20,463 Then why did you come? 585 00:33:23,883 --> 00:33:25,968 Because it's your birthday, Piper. 586 00:33:27,637 --> 00:33:29,179 Have I ever missed your birthday? 587 00:33:33,267 --> 00:33:36,061 I'm sorry, I can't just sit here and make small talk. 588 00:33:36,145 --> 00:33:40,566 You don't have to, I'm not size-ist. You can talk big, you could talk medium? 589 00:33:40,650 --> 00:33:42,192 You're 32. 590 00:33:43,152 --> 00:33:46,447 You're getting further and further behind in life. 591 00:33:47,990 --> 00:33:50,701 I'm frustrated that we can't seem to help you. 592 00:33:53,203 --> 00:33:57,041 Maybe this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now. 593 00:33:58,250 --> 00:34:03,423 Maybe this... right now, is making me a better person. 594 00:34:04,924 --> 00:34:08,553 I'm learning... more Spanish... 595 00:34:09,804 --> 00:34:11,263 and I can fix things. 596 00:34:13,098 --> 00:34:17,520 I'm a part of a community... and I have a girlfriend. 597 00:34:20,690 --> 00:34:23,025 I have a girlfriend that I love. 598 00:34:26,236 --> 00:34:27,321 So, there. 599 00:34:28,113 --> 00:34:29,865 Saw that coming. 600 00:34:29,949 --> 00:34:32,493 So, does that mean you're officially... 601 00:34:32,577 --> 00:34:36,205 It means that I officially... have a girlfriend. 602 00:34:39,208 --> 00:34:40,334 Dear God. 603 00:34:41,085 --> 00:34:44,046 You know, I find myself saying that phrase, too, a lot. 604 00:34:44,129 --> 00:34:46,090 But with a different inflection and... 605 00:34:47,675 --> 00:34:48,801 breathier. 606 00:34:48,884 --> 00:34:52,513 Dear... God! 607 00:34:54,557 --> 00:34:56,434 Whoa! 608 00:35:01,856 --> 00:35:03,441 Happy birthday! 609 00:35:10,740 --> 00:35:11,949 Hi, there. 610 00:35:14,577 --> 00:35:16,579 Need something? 611 00:35:16,662 --> 00:35:20,415 Well, I'm sorry to bother you. I just... I wanted you to have these. 612 00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:23,252 I thought they might brighten your day. 613 00:35:23,335 --> 00:35:24,587 Rose seeds? 614 00:35:25,796 --> 00:35:28,924 Oh, is that what they are? I don't have a green thumb, so... 615 00:35:29,008 --> 00:35:31,426 It says "rose" right there on the package. 616 00:35:31,511 --> 00:35:34,972 I was in a hurry after lunch, so... 617 00:35:36,974 --> 00:35:38,976 They'll be a lovely addition to the garden. 618 00:35:39,059 --> 00:35:40,185 Thank you. 619 00:35:41,020 --> 00:35:42,647 You're welcome. 620 00:35:56,619 --> 00:35:59,622 How you gonna love a song that just, like, lists the days of the week? 621 00:35:59,705 --> 00:36:01,582 Like it's Sesame Street or some shit? 622 00:36:01,666 --> 00:36:03,668 That's only one teeny part. 623 00:36:03,751 --> 00:36:05,920 The rest is all, "Tonight's gonna be a good night." 624 00:36:06,003 --> 00:36:09,173 It makes me feel optimistic about the evening we gonna have and shit. 625 00:36:09,256 --> 00:36:10,508 You know we in prison though, right? 626 00:36:10,591 --> 00:36:12,593 Whatever, man, they all sellouts anyway. 627 00:36:12,677 --> 00:36:14,554 Man... 628 00:36:14,637 --> 00:36:16,847 Hello? One second, please. 629 00:36:16,931 --> 00:36:19,934 Poussey Washington, it's the Black Eyed Peas calling for you. 630 00:36:20,017 --> 00:36:22,144 They wanna give you all the moneys. 631 00:36:22,227 --> 00:36:25,731 All you got to do is sing the days of the week and be famous. 632 00:36:25,815 --> 00:36:27,733 - All the moneys? - All the moneys! 633 00:36:27,817 --> 00:36:29,026 Um... 634 00:36:29,109 --> 00:36:30,402 - No. - Ooh. 635 00:36:30,485 --> 00:36:33,197 Man, you're bullshitting! You're bullshitting. 636 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,575 If that's the case, I could be a famous rapper. 637 00:36:35,658 --> 00:36:37,367 You know what I'm saying, like... 638 00:36:37,451 --> 00:36:39,787 - ♪ January, February, March ♪ - ♪ Oh, what you got? ♪ 639 00:36:39,870 --> 00:36:41,872 ♪ April, May and June July, August, September ♪ 640 00:36:41,956 --> 00:36:44,542 Shit, yo! I'm gonna turn this shit up. 641 00:36:44,625 --> 00:36:46,586 We all know what it's like to move. 642 00:36:46,669 --> 00:36:48,549 - All the boxes, the schlepping... - Yo! 643 00:36:48,588 --> 00:36:50,005 Hey, who the fuck is that? 644 00:36:50,089 --> 00:36:53,008 - Yo, it's Judy King, man! - The chef lady. 645 00:36:53,092 --> 00:36:55,135 Yo, she ain't just a chef, man. 646 00:36:55,219 --> 00:36:57,555 She's an entertainment and lifestyle specialist. 647 00:36:57,638 --> 00:36:58,973 Yo, she cooks the food, 648 00:36:59,056 --> 00:37:01,559 and then she shows you how to present it, right? 649 00:37:01,642 --> 00:37:04,061 Putting little sprigs of rosemary on the plate, 650 00:37:04,144 --> 00:37:06,897 putting it on a bed of moss and shit. 651 00:37:06,981 --> 00:37:08,566 Presentation is everything. 652 00:37:08,649 --> 00:37:10,192 Did you just say "sprig"? 653 00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:13,988 Raspberry buttermilk pie. It's my way of saying... 654 00:37:17,032 --> 00:37:18,158 I've seen this one before. 655 00:37:18,242 --> 00:37:20,828 That raspberry buttermilk pie turns out real nice. 656 00:37:20,911 --> 00:37:24,331 Even when white folks try to be exciting, they still boring. 657 00:37:24,414 --> 00:37:26,375 Yeah, I was asleep. 658 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,962 Yo, what the fuck? Look. 659 00:37:33,382 --> 00:37:35,217 Man, that girl is gonna be the death of me. 660 00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:37,094 Let her ass go to the SHU. 661 00:37:38,553 --> 00:37:40,014 Right this way. 662 00:37:41,974 --> 00:37:43,517 Sure, yeah. 663 00:37:44,977 --> 00:37:46,353 This is our TV room. 664 00:37:46,436 --> 00:37:47,730 Go, go. You gotta go. 665 00:37:51,942 --> 00:37:53,027 Ow. Ow. 666 00:37:53,110 --> 00:37:56,113 White people... and other. 667 00:37:58,323 --> 00:38:02,202 And we'll be going... uh, this way. 668 00:38:02,286 --> 00:38:03,746 Right this way. 669 00:38:06,999 --> 00:38:10,585 Hey, hands up over your head. 670 00:38:18,510 --> 00:38:21,013 Vee came to me. 671 00:38:21,096 --> 00:38:24,308 And she told me to follow her... 672 00:38:24,391 --> 00:38:27,311 but my feet weren't... fast enough. 673 00:38:27,394 --> 00:38:28,437 Okay. 674 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:32,316 And I missed her, Taystee. I missed her. 675 00:38:32,399 --> 00:38:35,485 Suzanne... you have to listen to me. 676 00:38:41,366 --> 00:38:44,787 - Vee wasn't here. - Yes, she... 677 00:38:44,870 --> 00:38:46,080 Vee's dead. 678 00:38:46,163 --> 00:38:48,290 - No, she's not! - Yes, she is! 679 00:38:48,373 --> 00:38:50,960 - She is not! No, she's not! - Vee is dead, Suzanne! 680 00:38:51,043 --> 00:38:55,130 Vee is dead! Vee is dead! Vee is dead! 681 00:39:15,985 --> 00:39:17,361 She's gone. 682 00:39:21,531 --> 00:39:24,869 Yes... she's gone. 683 00:39:28,831 --> 00:39:31,041 I am so sorry. 684 00:39:34,294 --> 00:39:35,963 Me, too. 685 00:40:12,707 --> 00:40:16,211 - Need a little help, there? - Nope, I've got it. Thank you. 686 00:40:22,634 --> 00:40:24,011 I called you my girlfriend. 687 00:40:24,094 --> 00:40:26,806 What? To who? 688 00:40:26,889 --> 00:40:29,433 To my parents... 689 00:40:29,516 --> 00:40:32,477 and my... brother and my brother's wife. 690 00:40:36,023 --> 00:40:38,859 - That's a bold move, Chapman. - I know. 691 00:40:38,943 --> 00:40:41,570 I didn't even mean to say it. It just... 692 00:40:42,863 --> 00:40:46,033 It just came out. And now... 693 00:40:47,242 --> 00:40:48,682 Now, I can't stop thinking about it. 694 00:40:48,702 --> 00:40:51,371 Do you want to pass me a note and have me circle yes or no? 695 00:40:51,455 --> 00:40:53,833 I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend. 696 00:40:53,916 --> 00:40:55,375 - Oh, no? - No. 697 00:40:55,459 --> 00:41:00,130 Definitely not. I just thought... I thought that it was weird. 698 00:41:01,131 --> 00:41:02,507 It's totally weird. 699 00:41:05,845 --> 00:41:09,764 You know, the Quran is turning out to be more interesting than I would've guessed. 700 00:41:09,849 --> 00:41:11,892 Technically, I'm not supposed to be touching it, 701 00:41:11,976 --> 00:41:13,518 but I did wash my hands. 702 00:41:13,602 --> 00:41:15,645 So, I decided that Allah would be cool with it. 703 00:41:15,729 --> 00:41:17,147 Will you be my girlfriend? 704 00:41:20,109 --> 00:41:21,610 - Yeah. - Yes? 705 00:41:21,693 --> 00:41:24,029 Yes, you idiot. 706 00:41:24,113 --> 00:41:25,197 She said "yes." 707 00:41:26,198 --> 00:41:28,325 - Good for you, hon. - Mazel tov! 708 00:41:39,253 --> 00:41:40,420 I have something for you. 709 00:41:41,296 --> 00:41:43,590 - It's a non-birthday gift. - Okay. 710 00:41:50,555 --> 00:41:51,556 Here. 711 00:41:52,266 --> 00:41:55,810 What is this? Is this... a list of songs? 712 00:41:55,895 --> 00:41:58,480 Well, I couldn't make you a mix, so... 713 00:41:58,563 --> 00:42:01,066 I wrote down the songs I would've put on the mix 714 00:42:01,150 --> 00:42:04,069 if we were, like... normal people 715 00:42:04,904 --> 00:42:08,282 and not weird prison girlfriends. 716 00:42:10,117 --> 00:42:11,826 Um... 717 00:42:11,911 --> 00:42:15,414 Okay, Only You, Yaz. 718 00:42:15,497 --> 00:42:18,500 You Wouldn't Like Me, Tegan and Sara. 719 00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:21,586 - The Pussy is Mine, Miguel. - Miguel. 720 00:42:21,670 --> 00:42:24,214 This is so nice, and so gay. 721 00:42:24,298 --> 00:42:27,176 - I know. - Thank you. 722 00:42:37,019 --> 00:42:38,812 Mr. Caputo, I need to speak to you. 723 00:42:38,896 --> 00:42:42,524 Uh, I'm sure it's something your counselor would be happy to assist you with, inmate. 724 00:42:42,607 --> 00:42:44,484 It's about one of your guards. 725 00:42:45,527 --> 00:42:47,779 As you can see, I am very busy at the moment. 726 00:42:47,862 --> 00:42:50,782 So, I will make every effort to try and find you tomorrow. 727 00:42:51,951 --> 00:42:53,202 It's about CO Bennett. 728 00:42:54,286 --> 00:42:57,289 Excuse me. 729 00:42:57,372 --> 00:42:58,373 Please. 730 00:43:00,167 --> 00:43:01,876 What the hell do you want? 731 00:43:01,961 --> 00:43:05,839 He hasn't been here for two weeks. I haven't heard nothing from him. 732 00:43:05,923 --> 00:43:07,967 Please, Mr. Caputo, you gotta know where he is. 733 00:43:08,050 --> 00:43:09,259 You gotta know something. 734 00:43:09,343 --> 00:43:11,220 I am gonna give you the benefit of the doubt 735 00:43:11,303 --> 00:43:14,848 and assume that you are not a complete moron, 736 00:43:14,932 --> 00:43:18,143 despite that stupid, stupid power move you just tried to pull. 737 00:43:18,227 --> 00:43:21,438 Which means you can make the same assumption I've made about Bennett, 738 00:43:21,521 --> 00:43:22,689 he is gone. 739 00:43:22,772 --> 00:43:24,691 - No. - And he is not coming back. 740 00:43:24,774 --> 00:43:29,363 Unfortunately for you, inmate, not everyone around here is locked up. 741 00:43:30,530 --> 00:43:31,781 Mr. Caputo... 742 00:43:33,492 --> 00:43:37,079 I hate to be presumptive, but was that inmate pregnant? 743 00:43:37,162 --> 00:43:40,040 This is a good example of our concerns. 744 00:43:40,124 --> 00:43:43,252 The costs associated with a birth while the inmate is in our care. 745 00:43:43,335 --> 00:43:45,337 And they're prohibitive, to say the least. 746 00:43:45,420 --> 00:43:48,007 Great thing about men, they don't have uterus’s. 747 00:43:49,424 --> 00:43:51,468 She's not pregnant. 748 00:43:51,551 --> 00:43:54,179 And quite frankly, you should never assume that about a woman. 749 00:43:54,263 --> 00:43:56,640 Phew! I've learned that one the hard way. 750 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:02,187 Well, a big hetero hello to all of you. 751 00:44:04,023 --> 00:44:07,192 You buying this? Anybody? Yes? No? 752 00:44:07,276 --> 00:44:08,777 Thank you. 753 00:44:12,822 --> 00:44:16,160 Code blue in room 23. Code blue, room 23. 754 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:21,873 Carrie. 755 00:44:22,582 --> 00:44:24,418 Hey, Pop. 756 00:44:26,420 --> 00:44:28,172 Hi. 757 00:44:30,049 --> 00:44:31,633 You okay? 758 00:44:31,716 --> 00:44:35,137 Of course, not. That was stupid, huh? 759 00:44:36,221 --> 00:44:40,225 I can't believe you're here. It's been so many years, Carrie. 760 00:44:40,309 --> 00:44:44,146 Well, you know... she's my mother. 761 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:46,898 I'm here now. 762 00:44:48,317 --> 00:44:50,694 You won't even recognize her, she's so frail. 763 00:44:51,986 --> 00:44:53,822 I can handle it, Pop. 764 00:44:54,448 --> 00:44:56,241 I... I don't think she can. 765 00:45:00,745 --> 00:45:04,124 What, you mean the... sight of her dyke daughter 766 00:45:04,208 --> 00:45:05,584 is going to make her worse? 767 00:45:05,667 --> 00:45:07,377 Carrie... 768 00:45:07,461 --> 00:45:10,839 would it kill you to put on some other clothes before you see her? 769 00:45:10,922 --> 00:45:13,675 Well, these are my good Chucks, Pop. 770 00:45:13,758 --> 00:45:15,135 You know what I mean. 771 00:45:17,762 --> 00:45:18,972 Gosh... 772 00:45:20,807 --> 00:45:22,726 I'm so fucking tired. 773 00:45:26,896 --> 00:45:29,941 I have been her daughter for 42 years. 774 00:45:30,024 --> 00:45:31,610 Now... 775 00:45:31,693 --> 00:45:35,155 don't you think she could have taken some of that time to... 776 00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:40,285 work on accepting me for who I am, rather than mourning... 777 00:45:40,369 --> 00:45:45,165 every... fucking... thing... that I am not? 778 00:45:45,249 --> 00:45:49,085 I understand that whatever this is, is important to you, 779 00:45:49,169 --> 00:45:50,962 but it's a costume, that's all. 780 00:45:51,045 --> 00:45:54,883 The rest of us, we get up, put on a suit and a tie, we go to work. 781 00:45:54,966 --> 00:45:58,345 You think that's how I wanted to dress five days a week? No, of course not. 782 00:45:58,428 --> 00:46:02,098 But no one gets the privilege of being themselves all the time, Carrie. 783 00:46:02,182 --> 00:46:03,558 No one. 784 00:46:04,934 --> 00:46:08,480 Now, if you want to go in there and upset her, I'm not gonna stop you. 785 00:46:08,563 --> 00:46:12,859 But you need to decide whether your costume is worth what it's costing you. 786 00:46:15,404 --> 00:46:16,571 I... 787 00:46:17,906 --> 00:46:21,368 have had to fight for this... 788 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,289 all my life, Dad. 789 00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:27,499 All my life. 790 00:46:28,458 --> 00:46:33,087 Strangers, girlfriends, fuck, even my own parents... 791 00:46:34,631 --> 00:46:39,636 all asking me to be something... that I am not. 792 00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:45,141 Do you have any idea what that feels like? 793 00:46:45,225 --> 00:46:49,813 Like, your whole fucking existence is being denied, like... 794 00:46:49,896 --> 00:46:53,775 "Whoa, you'd be better off if you were invisible"? Yeah. 795 00:46:58,738 --> 00:47:02,409 I refuse to be invisible, Daddy. 796 00:47:04,369 --> 00:47:06,830 Not for you, not for Mom... 797 00:47:08,957 --> 00:47:10,459 not for anybody. 798 00:47:18,217 --> 00:47:19,509 So, um... 799 00:47:21,845 --> 00:47:23,430 I'm sorry. 800 00:47:53,042 --> 00:47:55,920 Hi, there. You must be the Reverend Lawlor. 801 00:47:56,004 --> 00:47:57,005 Carrie, it's a pleasure. 802 00:47:57,088 --> 00:47:58,928 I've heard such impressive things from Tiffany. 803 00:47:59,007 --> 00:48:00,174 - Please. - Oh, thank you. 804 00:48:00,259 --> 00:48:04,304 Well, she's told me really great things about your holy work, sir. 805 00:48:04,388 --> 00:48:07,098 So, it sounds like you've been on quite a journey. 806 00:48:07,181 --> 00:48:09,893 Using your time here to get back on the right path? 807 00:48:09,976 --> 00:48:12,354 It's a testament to the power of prison rehabilitation. 808 00:48:12,437 --> 00:48:14,731 Oh, absolutely, yes. 809 00:48:14,814 --> 00:48:18,735 You know, there's... so much time here to think... 810 00:48:19,736 --> 00:48:24,491 reflect on life... regrets... on sin. 811 00:48:24,574 --> 00:48:26,242 Yeah. Tell me more about that. 812 00:48:27,786 --> 00:48:30,121 Forgive me, I just... 813 00:48:30,204 --> 00:48:32,832 I get so emotional when I have to talk about this. 814 00:48:34,918 --> 00:48:37,045 You know, like the Bible says... 815 00:48:37,128 --> 00:48:42,133 "If man also lie with mankind the way he lieth with woman... " 816 00:48:42,216 --> 00:48:44,761 "both have committed an abomination." 817 00:48:44,844 --> 00:48:47,556 - Amen. Exactly. - You're not alone. 818 00:48:47,639 --> 00:48:50,392 I've talked to so many people like yourself. 819 00:48:50,475 --> 00:48:52,268 Faggots who have committed disgusting acts 820 00:48:52,352 --> 00:48:55,314 before admitting that they'd fallen prey to this illness. 821 00:48:55,397 --> 00:48:57,774 I hope you don't mind my asking... 822 00:48:57,857 --> 00:48:59,609 what was it that turned you to the light? 823 00:48:59,693 --> 00:49:03,822 Well, I just, I prayed. A lot. 824 00:49:03,905 --> 00:49:05,824 And then Jesus came in me... 825 00:49:07,326 --> 00:49:11,455 To me, sorry. Jesus came to me... with so much love. 826 00:49:11,538 --> 00:49:13,289 - Praise the Lord. - Mmm-hmm. 827 00:49:14,499 --> 00:49:17,210 Reverend, Tiffany said that... 828 00:49:17,293 --> 00:49:20,547 you might be able to take up a collection 829 00:49:20,630 --> 00:49:22,757 to help support me 830 00:49:22,841 --> 00:49:26,678 as I continue my walk on the path of decency. 831 00:49:27,387 --> 00:49:31,224 Stories like yours really resonate with the congregation. 832 00:49:31,307 --> 00:49:34,603 The narrative of the reformed sinner spreading the gospel. 833 00:49:34,686 --> 00:49:38,773 And let me tell you, your story, a tale of wickedness and depravity, 834 00:49:38,857 --> 00:49:40,274 a thieving dyke. 835 00:49:40,359 --> 00:49:43,653 Well, that should make for a compelling inspirational pamphlet. 836 00:49:44,904 --> 00:49:47,949 Of course, we'll need to cover that tattoo of yours for the photo. 837 00:49:54,914 --> 00:49:56,916 - Reverend Lawlor? - Are you all right? 838 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:01,713 Yes, I'm... just trying to remember the passage. 839 00:50:01,796 --> 00:50:05,842 Oh, yes... it's Corinthians 69. 840 00:50:05,925 --> 00:50:07,636 I think it goes... 841 00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:11,347 "Suck my big fat dyke dick, 842 00:50:11,431 --> 00:50:15,810 you fucking hateful piece of shit!" 843 00:50:15,894 --> 00:50:17,812 - Fuck you! What? - All right, settle down. 844 00:50:17,896 --> 00:50:18,980 - That's enough. - I'm good. 845 00:50:19,063 --> 00:50:22,066 Jesus was a fag. He said, "This is my body. Eat me." 846 00:50:23,109 --> 00:50:24,903 - Thank you so much for coming. - Thank you. 847 00:50:24,986 --> 00:50:26,320 I appreciate your time. 848 00:50:26,405 --> 00:50:27,947 - It was very informative. - Thank you. 849 00:50:28,031 --> 00:50:30,825 - All right, Joe, thanks. - Thank you. 850 00:50:30,909 --> 00:50:32,577 Drive safe. 851 00:50:32,661 --> 00:50:36,039 Watch yourself on Route 16, huh? Uh, speed trap. 852 00:50:42,170 --> 00:50:43,254 So? 853 00:50:45,048 --> 00:50:48,176 I'd polish up that resume if I were you, Ford. 854 00:51:09,739 --> 00:51:11,240 Can I have one of those? 855 00:51:12,784 --> 00:51:14,202 Get the fuck out of here. 856 00:51:16,496 --> 00:51:18,372 What the hell is wrong with all of you? 857 00:51:19,749 --> 00:51:22,752 I swear to God, you were my kid... 858 00:51:27,381 --> 00:51:30,176 If you were my kid, you'd still be fucked up. 859 00:51:32,637 --> 00:51:33,805 Please. 860 00:51:35,264 --> 00:51:36,432 I need something. 861 00:51:37,767 --> 00:51:38,768 You okay? 862 00:51:49,195 --> 00:51:50,196 He's gone. 863 00:51:52,574 --> 00:51:53,742 I know. 864 00:51:57,411 --> 00:52:00,749 Fucking piece of shit. Like all of them. 865 00:52:01,791 --> 00:52:03,084 Yep. 866 00:52:05,712 --> 00:52:08,422 Can't believe he just left us. 867 00:52:22,186 --> 00:52:24,480 It's not the worst thing that'll happen to that kid. 868 00:52:43,416 --> 00:52:45,209 I'm glad you're back. 869 00:52:45,293 --> 00:52:46,795 Seeing you like that was scarier 870 00:52:46,878 --> 00:52:50,840 than seein' that dolphin penis at SeaWorld. 871 00:52:50,924 --> 00:52:53,802 Around all that water, it looked out of place, you know. 872 00:52:53,885 --> 00:52:55,929 Some ladies just ain't meant to look lady-like. 873 00:52:56,012 --> 00:52:58,973 Now, my mother would disagree. 874 00:52:59,057 --> 00:53:01,685 She'd say, "Don't be a salmon." 875 00:53:02,644 --> 00:53:03,770 Is that a vagina thing? 876 00:53:03,853 --> 00:53:07,440 No. Salmon, they swim upstream... against the current. 877 00:53:07,523 --> 00:53:08,524 Oh. 878 00:53:13,237 --> 00:53:15,448 Wish I'd said goodbye to her. 879 00:53:16,700 --> 00:53:20,244 - But I was dumb. - Mmm-mmm. Today, you were brave. 880 00:53:20,328 --> 00:53:21,370 Ha! 881 00:53:21,454 --> 00:53:23,247 Horseshit. 882 00:53:23,331 --> 00:53:25,709 I got six weeks extra work duty. 883 00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:28,670 Yeah, but you stood up for yourself, and that's more than I can say. 884 00:53:28,753 --> 00:53:31,756 No, I just showed them who I really am. 885 00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:35,719 A big, stupid, stubborn... pussy-loving dyke. 886 00:53:35,802 --> 00:53:40,181 Hey, well, listen, if that's who you are, then that's who you are. 887 00:53:40,264 --> 00:53:41,850 And there's no use in fightin' it, 888 00:53:41,933 --> 00:53:45,311 and if you ain't gonna fight it, you might as well embrace it, 889 00:53:45,394 --> 00:53:47,230 or else you're living in purgatory. 890 00:53:49,523 --> 00:53:50,859 Fuck yeah. 891 00:53:52,151 --> 00:53:55,655 Here's to heaven or hell and nothing in between. 892 00:53:55,739 --> 00:53:56,781 - Boom! - Boom. 893 00:53:57,699 --> 00:54:00,451 Probably hell, though. I mean, who the fuck am I kidding? 894 00:54:01,620 --> 00:54:02,787 Oh. 895 00:54:05,164 --> 00:54:06,249 You need to start brushing. 896 00:54:06,332 --> 00:54:07,917 No, trust me on this. 897 00:54:08,001 --> 00:54:09,628 Seriously, take it. 898 00:54:09,711 --> 00:54:10,795 Thank you. 899 00:54:10,879 --> 00:54:13,715 - Really? - Yeah, really. 900 00:54:13,798 --> 00:54:16,217 All right, I'll give it a go, but I'm telling you, 901 00:54:16,300 --> 00:54:17,510 it's just a waste of my time. 902 00:54:17,593 --> 00:54:20,471 Oh, there is no wiser schmuck than you, my friend. 903 00:54:20,554 --> 00:54:23,266 - Yeah, no shit. Guess what? - Hmm? 904 00:54:23,349 --> 00:54:25,018 I'm still taking their money. 905 00:54:26,936 --> 00:54:28,772 I renounce thee, Satan. 906 00:54:28,855 --> 00:54:31,190 Oh, bring that in. Yes! 907 00:54:31,274 --> 00:54:32,316 Whoo! 908 00:54:33,192 --> 00:54:35,278 - Bunch of chumps. - Mmm. 909 00:54:35,361 --> 00:54:36,946 Tomorrow, we'll talk about flossing. 910 00:54:37,030 --> 00:54:38,156 - The string? - Yeah, with the string. 911 00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,033 - Fuck that. - No, it's important. 912 00:54:49,458 --> 00:54:52,754 - Joe Caputo. - Joe, Danny Pearson. 913 00:54:52,837 --> 00:54:55,548 Danny, of course. 914 00:54:55,631 --> 00:54:58,301 I hope you don't mind me calling this late. 915 00:54:58,384 --> 00:55:01,262 No, not at all. Did you make it home okay? 916 00:55:01,345 --> 00:55:04,223 I know that last turn at the end, that left, it's confusing. 917 00:55:04,307 --> 00:55:07,936 Yeah, I made it just fine. Um, look, I'll keep it short. 918 00:55:08,019 --> 00:55:10,313 MCC is gonna be taking over Litchfield, 919 00:55:10,396 --> 00:55:13,858 effective as soon as the paperwork goes through. 920 00:55:13,942 --> 00:55:16,194 Holy shit! 921 00:55:16,277 --> 00:55:18,529 I'm sorry. I just... 922 00:55:18,612 --> 00:55:21,657 I thought everything that could have gone wrong on that tour, did. 923 00:55:21,741 --> 00:55:23,702 Yeah, well, it was a real shit show. 924 00:55:23,785 --> 00:55:26,245 But we toured the maximum security facility 925 00:55:26,329 --> 00:55:27,789 before we came to visit you guys, 926 00:55:27,872 --> 00:55:29,833 and with the number of bodies down there, 927 00:55:29,916 --> 00:55:33,586 and the potential for the unused space, it was a no-brainer. 928 00:55:33,669 --> 00:55:34,670 Wow. 929 00:55:34,754 --> 00:55:37,799 This is gonna be such a relief for a lot of people around here, Danny. 930 00:55:37,882 --> 00:55:39,508 Thank your bosses for me. 931 00:55:39,592 --> 00:55:41,803 Oh, I'm glad. I gotta run right now, 932 00:55:41,886 --> 00:55:43,512 but I look forward to working with you, Joe. 933 00:55:43,596 --> 00:55:45,098 Likewise. 934 00:55:45,181 --> 00:55:48,768 Hey, Danny, thank you so much, huh? Take care. 935 00:56:04,117 --> 00:56:06,244 Whoo-Hoo! 936 00:56:07,453 --> 00:56:08,872 Whoo-Hoo! 937 00:56:47,660 --> 00:56:48,870 Huh? 938 00:56:48,953 --> 00:56:50,914 Oh, hell, no! 939 00:56:50,997 --> 00:56:52,248 Too far, too far. Okay. 940 00:56:53,499 --> 00:56:55,334 I hear you. 941 00:57:04,201 --> 00:57:06,201 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - - www.addic7ed.com - 941 00:57:07,305 --> 00:58:07,489 Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV www.flixify.app