1 00:00:02,659 --> 00:00:03,993 [cell door slams] 2 00:00:05,370 --> 00:00:06,788 [theme song playing] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:14,074 Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV www.flixify.app 4 00:00:53,752 --> 00:00:55,587 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:12,937 [cell door slams] 6 00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:15,294 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 7 00:01:16,358 --> 00:01:19,193 [in sultry voice] I'd butter your toast. 8 00:01:21,405 --> 00:01:23,448 I'd feed her dog. 9 00:01:25,374 --> 00:01:27,411 I'd zip his sweater. 10 00:01:27,494 --> 00:01:28,662 Mmm. 11 00:01:28,745 --> 00:01:29,746 [in normal voice] See? 12 00:01:29,829 --> 00:01:32,457 It doesn't matter what you say, as long as it's... 13 00:01:32,541 --> 00:01:34,709 [in sultry voice] "I'd blank your blank." 14 00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:35,794 [chuckles] 15 00:01:35,877 --> 00:01:38,588 [in normal voice] It all sounds dirty, always. 16 00:01:38,672 --> 00:01:41,007 [in sultry voice] I'd disembowel his cat. 17 00:01:41,090 --> 00:01:42,426 That is not sexy. 18 00:01:42,509 --> 00:01:44,386 No, she did not say that right. 19 00:01:44,469 --> 00:01:46,888 I'd scratch that eczema. 20 00:01:46,971 --> 00:01:49,683 Oh, she is killing your theory, here, Doggett. 21 00:01:49,766 --> 00:01:52,477 Well, her exception proves the rules, 'cause... 22 00:01:52,561 --> 00:01:55,355 you guys gotta know, my boyfriend, Arlen... 23 00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:56,690 [exhales] 24 00:01:56,773 --> 00:01:58,817 He was the master of it. [moans] 25 00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:02,654 He'd bed you whispering, [in sultry voice] "I'd light your crack pipe"? 26 00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:06,325 I didn't smoke crack. Crack's for coloreds. 27 00:02:06,408 --> 00:02:07,617 - [in normal voice] Oh, is it, now? - N... 28 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:11,705 African Americans. Crack is for African Americans. 29 00:02:11,788 --> 00:02:13,290 Maybe you should just drive. 30 00:02:13,373 --> 00:02:14,833 I am drivin'. 31 00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:17,043 I gotta say, these cup holders are nice. 32 00:02:17,126 --> 00:02:21,130 The air works. Seats don't smell like hot dog juice. 33 00:02:21,214 --> 00:02:23,467 Maybe we should get all of our terminal inmates 34 00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:25,385 to drive our outdated crap into a quarry. 35 00:02:25,469 --> 00:02:27,679 Gotta give it to the baldy, though. 36 00:02:27,762 --> 00:02:30,139 She had some set of balls. 37 00:02:30,223 --> 00:02:32,309 You know, a man went bald... 38 00:02:32,392 --> 00:02:33,643 and he bawled. 39 00:02:33,727 --> 00:02:35,354 [mimics sobbing] 40 00:02:35,437 --> 00:02:37,481 But then he met a really nice lady who... 41 00:02:37,564 --> 00:02:38,940 She liked a clean head, right? 42 00:02:39,023 --> 00:02:41,401 So he balled her real good. 43 00:02:41,485 --> 00:02:44,278 So you got "bald," "bawled," and "balled," right? 44 00:02:44,363 --> 00:02:48,032 They all sound alike, but they're all spelled different. 45 00:02:48,116 --> 00:02:49,158 [chuckles] Isn't that wild? 46 00:02:49,242 --> 00:02:50,660 My mom taught me that. 47 00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:52,954 She taught me so many cool things. 48 00:02:56,833 --> 00:02:58,585 Come on, hon. Get it all down. 49 00:03:00,211 --> 00:03:01,921 That's right. 50 00:03:02,005 --> 00:03:03,590 Chug, chug, chug. 51 00:03:05,299 --> 00:03:06,967 Hey! All of it! 52 00:03:09,345 --> 00:03:10,805 Finish that bottle. 53 00:03:10,889 --> 00:03:12,391 [young Pennsatucky grunting] 54 00:03:12,474 --> 00:03:15,143 [Debbie] See for yourself she ain't right in the head. 55 00:03:15,226 --> 00:03:18,897 Never had all what belongs to her, poor thing. 56 00:03:19,939 --> 00:03:21,650 But we take what the Lord gives us. 57 00:03:22,651 --> 00:03:25,612 Anyhow, so's I understand it, 58 00:03:25,695 --> 00:03:28,615 supplemental security income benefits for little Bessie bugs like mine 59 00:03:28,698 --> 00:03:31,367 is $314 a month. 60 00:03:32,452 --> 00:03:34,078 Is that right? 61 00:03:34,162 --> 00:03:35,580 [Maxwell] How many kids are coming for Mother's Day? 62 00:03:35,664 --> 00:03:39,793 A lot. Some of our ladies, they have three, four, seven. 63 00:03:39,876 --> 00:03:41,169 [exhales] 64 00:03:41,252 --> 00:03:42,587 I would have had five. 65 00:03:43,588 --> 00:03:45,006 Or six... 66 00:03:45,089 --> 00:03:48,385 if you count the one that fell out after the night in the caves. 67 00:03:48,468 --> 00:03:49,469 Huh. 68 00:03:49,553 --> 00:03:52,722 Would have been a miracle baby, like Tim Tebow. 69 00:03:52,806 --> 00:03:54,766 Based on the state of your mouth when you came in, 70 00:03:54,849 --> 00:03:57,310 I'm gonna say your baby wasn't on the star athlete track. 71 00:03:57,394 --> 00:04:00,264 Oh, yeah? Well... neither was Tim Tebow. 72 00:04:01,314 --> 00:04:02,774 You know, when his mama was pregnant, 73 00:04:02,857 --> 00:04:03,900 she had the sickness 74 00:04:03,983 --> 00:04:05,777 and the doctors told her not to have the baby, 75 00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:07,361 but she had it anyhow. 76 00:04:07,446 --> 00:04:10,907 And she was on dysentery medicine and in Filipino town. 77 00:04:10,990 --> 00:04:12,877 He wasn't such a great quarterback. 78 00:04:13,910 --> 00:04:14,953 Oh. 79 00:04:15,036 --> 00:04:17,581 Like you so great at football. [scoffs] 80 00:04:17,664 --> 00:04:18,998 I may have kids one day. 81 00:04:19,082 --> 00:04:20,709 One day? You got a time machine? 82 00:04:20,792 --> 00:04:22,669 The women in my family have very young ovaries. 83 00:04:22,752 --> 00:04:24,463 My mother had me at 49. 84 00:04:24,546 --> 00:04:26,756 Her mother had my Uncle Chess, at 52. 85 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:27,924 I got plenty of time. 86 00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:29,801 We believe what we believe. 87 00:04:29,884 --> 00:04:31,928 You guys, look at this... look at this sale stuff. 88 00:04:32,011 --> 00:04:34,347 We should just bring back all this Cinco DE Mayo. 89 00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:35,515 I mean, look. 90 00:04:39,644 --> 00:04:41,563 "Fiesta like there's no mañana." 91 00:04:41,646 --> 00:04:43,147 Seriously. 92 00:04:43,231 --> 00:04:45,567 You know most of the kids are gonna be Mexican, 93 00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:46,901 so make 'em feel at home. 94 00:04:46,985 --> 00:04:48,945 Just get 'em one of these red chili piñatas, 95 00:04:49,028 --> 00:04:51,948 a bunch of these... green candies from St. Patrick's Day, 96 00:04:52,031 --> 00:04:53,366 and we got a party. 97 00:04:53,450 --> 00:04:54,576 Doggett, enough. 98 00:04:54,659 --> 00:04:55,827 The only reason why you're in here 99 00:04:55,910 --> 00:04:58,204 is 'cause we couldn't leave you in the van. 100 00:05:07,506 --> 00:05:09,591 Let's go price the helium tanks. 101 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,138 [exhaling] 102 00:05:17,669 --> 00:05:18,753 You all right? 103 00:05:18,755 --> 00:05:19,923 I'm fine. 104 00:05:20,477 --> 00:05:21,728 [breathing deeply] 105 00:05:22,479 --> 00:05:23,980 Are you havin' a panic attack? 106 00:05:24,564 --> 00:05:26,525 I'm breathing mindfully. 107 00:05:26,608 --> 00:05:28,568 I'm supposed to do it to 108... 108 00:05:28,652 --> 00:05:32,363 and then do it again if I'm not feeling any better... 109 00:05:32,446 --> 00:05:34,240 even though I never feel better. 110 00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:37,326 Now I lost count. Shit! 111 00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:38,452 [groans] 112 00:05:38,829 --> 00:05:39,922 Where did you learn this? 113 00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:42,298 Some magazine. I don't know. 114 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,018 I'm just trying to find some fuckin' peace. 115 00:05:46,071 --> 00:05:48,782 Holy shit, look who's back. 116 00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:49,908 You missed me, right? 117 00:05:49,991 --> 00:05:52,911 - Like a bulldog misses his balls. - [chuckles] 118 00:05:52,994 --> 00:05:54,495 You're in that bunk. 119 00:05:56,664 --> 00:05:58,499 I can't sleep on the top bunk. 120 00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:00,418 - Yeah, well, not the top. - [Anita] Oh, no. Uh-uh. 121 00:06:00,501 --> 00:06:02,670 That's Rosa's bed. Back it up. 122 00:06:02,754 --> 00:06:04,505 DeMarco, she's been assigned to that bunk. 123 00:06:04,589 --> 00:06:06,132 Show some respect for the dead. 124 00:06:13,717 --> 00:06:15,093 [groans] 125 00:06:15,143 --> 00:06:17,771 Red, I know you from the first night I spent in this room, 126 00:06:17,936 --> 00:06:20,230 but you take one more thing down, I'm gonna reopen your head wounds. 127 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,898 Wanna build a shrine to Rosa? 128 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,025 Build it somewhere she had joy... 129 00:06:24,109 --> 00:06:28,279 not on this miserable bed where she lay dying of cancer. 130 00:06:28,363 --> 00:06:30,198 The woman went out like a champ. 131 00:06:31,366 --> 00:06:32,575 Tough fuckin' broad. 132 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:34,035 You want any of this? 133 00:06:34,119 --> 00:06:36,079 Yeah, the playin' cards. 134 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,373 She was a good card player. 135 00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:42,753 [Sister Ingalls] How you doing, Red? 136 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,629 [Red] Strangest thing... 137 00:06:44,712 --> 00:06:47,848 ever since the assault I speak with this Russian accent. 138 00:06:48,633 --> 00:06:50,635 - You still having headaches? - Yeah. [groans] 139 00:06:51,762 --> 00:06:54,055 Trying to wean myself off the pills. 140 00:06:54,139 --> 00:06:56,933 I can't stand feeling foggy all the time. 141 00:06:58,059 --> 00:06:59,477 You got any on ya? 142 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,604 A few. I've been cheeking them. 143 00:07:02,939 --> 00:07:03,982 Here. 144 00:07:04,414 --> 00:07:05,391 How much you want? 145 00:07:05,732 --> 00:07:06,881 Nothin'. 146 00:07:06,883 --> 00:07:09,279 [chuckles] You don't give anything away for free. 147 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,031 I've turned over a new leaf. 148 00:07:11,546 --> 00:07:13,491 Wait. That's been in your mouth? 149 00:07:14,213 --> 00:07:15,505 Briefly, yes. 150 00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,954 Ugh. Shkeeve. No offense. 151 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,665 I only share spit with my man and my babies. 152 00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:23,960 I'll take it. 153 00:07:31,553 --> 00:07:34,598 Mother's Day Fair... expanded visitation... 154 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,557 it fosters the inmates' connection to the outside world. 155 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,185 These women forget they have lives on the outside, 156 00:07:40,268 --> 00:07:41,477 it affects how they behave in here. 157 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,814 Maybe they forget for good reason. 158 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,358 Well, that's your job to worry about now. You're the expert. 159 00:07:47,442 --> 00:07:49,235 Not really. My degree's in cosmetology. 160 00:07:49,319 --> 00:07:50,361 My whole résumé's a lie. 161 00:07:50,445 --> 00:07:52,197 But you would be amazed what ladies will reveal 162 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,865 while you're bleaching their arm hair. 163 00:07:54,783 --> 00:07:58,036 [stammers] I don't know you that well. You're joking, right? 164 00:07:58,119 --> 00:08:00,121 'Cause I just got everything square around here, 165 00:08:00,205 --> 00:08:01,331 and it's been an uphill climb. 166 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,682 So I heard. 167 00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:04,500 Now, what'd you hear? 168 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:08,338 That you got caught in a shit-storm, but you put up a sturdy umbrella. 169 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,798 Yeah, well, it's starting to leak. 170 00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:14,052 Now I'm doing Madame Shit-Storm's job, along with doing my old job, 171 00:08:14,135 --> 00:08:16,596 which the powers-that-be have yet to fill. 172 00:08:16,679 --> 00:08:17,722 [sighs] 173 00:08:17,806 --> 00:08:19,474 I'm doin' two jobs. 174 00:08:19,557 --> 00:08:21,642 Do you resent that the administration hired me 175 00:08:21,726 --> 00:08:23,603 before finding a replacement for your old job? 176 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:25,856 Are you analyzin' me? 177 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:26,982 No. 178 00:08:27,065 --> 00:08:29,860 I just don't want any shade without having been given a shot. 179 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,611 My beef's not with you. 180 00:08:31,694 --> 00:08:33,154 What'd you hear about me? 181 00:08:33,238 --> 00:08:35,866 That you're smart and you're qualified and... 182 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:36,992 you said yes. 183 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,411 Does my saying yes maybe cancel out the smart part? 184 00:08:41,329 --> 00:08:42,311 How's this? 185 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,390 Welcome to Litchfield, where your services are needed 186 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,938 in both the counseling and hair removal arenas. 187 00:08:49,212 --> 00:08:51,631 These are complicated ladies in a complicated place. 188 00:08:51,714 --> 00:08:53,008 [Taystee] Yo! 189 00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:56,136 Mr. Caputo! That your girlfriend? 190 00:08:56,219 --> 00:08:58,889 I had a feeling you had a thing for the darker berries. 191 00:09:00,223 --> 00:09:02,475 Jefferson, this is Counselor Rogers. 192 00:09:02,558 --> 00:09:04,685 Counselor? What about Mr. Healy? 193 00:09:04,769 --> 00:09:05,770 He's still here. 194 00:09:05,854 --> 00:09:08,231 Huh. This is gonna get interestin'. 195 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:09,983 Is it? How so? 196 00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:11,817 Jefferson, why don't you go help set up? 197 00:09:11,902 --> 00:09:13,444 Yes, sir, mas'er. 198 00:09:15,446 --> 00:09:16,948 Mr. Caputo, sir. 199 00:09:17,032 --> 00:09:18,033 What do you want, Bennett? 200 00:09:18,116 --> 00:09:19,534 Sir, all the lights in C-Dorm went out, 201 00:09:19,617 --> 00:09:21,786 so I sent some of the girls in electrical down to take a look at it. 202 00:09:21,870 --> 00:09:23,955 They're not girls, Bennett. They're inmates. 203 00:09:24,571 --> 00:09:25,540 Or women. 204 00:09:25,623 --> 00:09:26,875 Or electricians. 205 00:09:26,958 --> 00:09:28,084 What's your point? 206 00:09:29,294 --> 00:09:31,880 Um, well, the lights are back on now. 207 00:09:31,963 --> 00:09:34,257 It's a great story. Thank you for sharing. 208 00:09:36,301 --> 00:09:38,136 - Berdie Rogers, new counselor. - Hi. 209 00:09:38,219 --> 00:09:39,971 Officer Bennett... 210 00:09:40,055 --> 00:09:42,057 is there anything else you'd like to tell us? 211 00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:43,683 Nice to meet you. 212 00:09:48,479 --> 00:09:49,814 What's goin' on there? 213 00:09:49,898 --> 00:09:52,358 [sighs] Nothing. It's nothing. 214 00:09:52,442 --> 00:09:55,111 How about we go on a tour of the dorms in all their well-lit glory? 215 00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:02,452 Everybody says she's got magic. 216 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,538 Did she touch it, too? I wanna know that she touched it. 217 00:10:06,456 --> 00:10:10,210 Mmm-hmm. She touched it. She blessed it. 218 00:10:10,293 --> 00:10:11,294 - [gasps] - Oh, shit. 219 00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,503 [inmate] What does that mean? 220 00:10:13,588 --> 00:10:15,798 [gasps] Hasan put a curse on me, didn't he? 221 00:10:15,881 --> 00:10:17,550 That's a cursed egg. 222 00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:19,928 I'll lose a foot. 223 00:10:20,011 --> 00:10:21,554 Bobo will attack all the quail. 224 00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:23,681 It's not a cursed egg. My hand slipped, okay? 225 00:10:23,764 --> 00:10:26,017 Why don't you go get cleaned up, and then we'll start all over again? 226 00:10:26,101 --> 00:10:28,686 We're gonna do a whole thing, okay? Go. 227 00:10:28,769 --> 00:10:31,940 [inmate] I'm all eggy now. It's gonna attract snakes. 228 00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:33,274 I know. That's not good. 229 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,653 Now what does the egg do? You makin' somebody else go away? 230 00:10:36,694 --> 00:10:38,071 I'm making an omelet. 231 00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:40,115 I got no scraps for your hooch today, 232 00:10:40,198 --> 00:10:43,201 and I am still waiting on my jar from the last batch. 233 00:10:43,284 --> 00:10:46,204 Okay, it's comin'. A few more days. It's gonna be good. 234 00:10:46,287 --> 00:10:48,248 Listen, we were thinkin' of doin', like, 235 00:10:48,331 --> 00:10:50,083 a little game booth for the kids, 236 00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:53,919 where they throw Ping-Pong balls into little bowls of water. Win a prize. 237 00:10:54,004 --> 00:10:55,088 Can I borrow some bowls? 238 00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:57,277 Where you gonna get some Ping-Pong balls around here? 239 00:10:57,279 --> 00:10:58,560 Found a bunch in the warehouse. 240 00:10:58,562 --> 00:11:01,547 They're old as fuck and mostly dented, but they'll work. 241 00:11:01,864 --> 00:11:03,679 What are you gonna do for prizes? 242 00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:06,641 Buy some Tootsie Rolls from commissary... 243 00:11:06,724 --> 00:11:07,850 dole them out. 244 00:11:09,019 --> 00:11:10,061 That's nice of you. 245 00:11:10,145 --> 00:11:12,480 Yeah, well, it's y'all's day. 246 00:11:12,563 --> 00:11:15,358 Must be hard as fuck bein' in here when you got kids on the outside. 247 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:16,484 Your kids comin'? 248 00:11:16,567 --> 00:11:19,570 Yeah... for the first time in a long time. 249 00:11:19,654 --> 00:11:22,448 My tía, she moved back into the city. 250 00:11:22,532 --> 00:11:24,575 Don't forget to call your mother tomorrow. 251 00:11:25,826 --> 00:11:26,994 Oh, my mom's passed. 252 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,416 - I'm sorry. - Yeah. 253 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,252 - Mira, Blanca! - [Blanca] Eh? 254 00:11:34,335 --> 00:11:38,256 Why don't you get this one some of those fruit cocktail-sized bowls? 255 00:11:39,257 --> 00:11:40,258 I won a goldfish once 256 00:11:40,341 --> 00:11:41,967 [speaking Spanish] in one of those games. 257 00:11:42,927 --> 00:11:43,969 Tequila, we named him. 258 00:11:44,054 --> 00:11:45,555 [speaking English] We gave him, like, Froot Loops to eat. 259 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,014 Like 12 years that thing lived... 260 00:11:47,098 --> 00:11:49,392 until my cousin, Antoni, ate him on a dare. 261 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:50,810 Fucking asshole. 262 00:11:51,852 --> 00:11:54,021 I'm definitely a carbon monoxide guy. 263 00:11:54,897 --> 00:11:57,358 Put on some tunes, breathe deep, go out easy. 264 00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,528 - Maybe pills. - Figures. 265 00:12:00,611 --> 00:12:01,987 What do you mean, "figures"? 266 00:12:02,072 --> 00:12:03,864 Pills are expensive. 267 00:12:05,032 --> 00:12:06,033 But you don't even think about that. 268 00:12:06,117 --> 00:12:09,079 Well, I didn't realize that my hypothetical suicide had a budget. 269 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,871 Some of us have to think about these things. 270 00:12:10,955 --> 00:12:12,957 I make 11 cents an hour. 271 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,751 When I get outta here, I will have no home... 272 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:19,380 I will have no job... and not a whole lot of prospects. 273 00:12:19,464 --> 00:12:21,549 All the more reason to start thinking economically. 274 00:12:22,387 --> 00:12:24,094 Welcome to the real world, princess. 275 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,011 This is not a healthy discussion. 276 00:12:26,721 --> 00:12:29,932 You know, when you go to a shooting range, you don't have to pay until you leave. 277 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,710 So you can check out a gun... 278 00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:34,562 shoot yourself right there. Wouldn't cost you a cent. 279 00:12:35,605 --> 00:12:37,482 I would like to change the subject, please. 280 00:12:39,066 --> 00:12:41,694 You know, the... hot one's back. 281 00:12:41,777 --> 00:12:43,654 What do you mean, "the hot one"? 282 00:12:43,738 --> 00:12:44,739 Your girlfriend. 283 00:12:46,449 --> 00:12:48,243 The Bettie Page of Litchfield. 284 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:51,121 Alex is back? 285 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,705 I gotta go find her. 286 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,609 - Oh, hey! You're on the clock here. - Well, can I go early? 287 00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:58,711 Sure. 288 00:12:58,794 --> 00:13:01,214 Why don't you grab a happy hour cocktail with her at TGI Fridays? 289 00:13:01,297 --> 00:13:03,537 - You wanna put in for vacation time, too? - Okay, okay, all right. 290 00:13:03,539 --> 00:13:05,318 Finish your fucking job. 291 00:13:06,136 --> 00:13:07,887 It's not like she's goin' anywhere. 292 00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:09,680 And to be honest, she looked a little rough. 293 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,058 It sucks when hot chicks start to cool down. 294 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:17,313 [man speaking indistinctly on PA] 295 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,523 Okay, okay, listen up. 296 00:13:18,606 --> 00:13:20,983 If you don't have children comin' today, please come back another time. 297 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,236 And for all you mothers, it's a numbers day. 298 00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:24,529 No special request. 299 00:13:24,612 --> 00:13:27,457 I only wanna trim so I look the same as the last time I saw her. 300 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,784 It's called object permanence. 301 00:13:29,867 --> 00:13:32,162 It's also called boring... but you the boss. 302 00:13:33,538 --> 00:13:35,248 And what are we doin' with you today? 303 00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:37,792 I'll take number seven, please. 304 00:13:39,544 --> 00:13:40,920 You excited for Mother's Day? 305 00:13:41,003 --> 00:13:43,631 Oh, yeah, all my kids are comin'. 306 00:13:43,714 --> 00:13:46,592 Little Donovan and baby Frankie, 307 00:13:46,676 --> 00:13:49,304 that's short for Francesca, and the twins. 308 00:13:49,387 --> 00:13:50,513 You got four kids? 309 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,766 Oh, sure. Catholic. You know how it goes. 310 00:13:53,849 --> 00:13:55,643 You don't got no kids. 311 00:13:55,726 --> 00:13:58,938 Yes, I do. I have four kids and they're all coming to see me. 312 00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:00,731 Bull... shit. 313 00:14:00,815 --> 00:14:03,150 - Show me your stomach. - What? 314 00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:05,778 Mother of four, twins no less. 315 00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:08,030 Let me see your belly. 316 00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:12,034 Maybe I did a lot of sit-ups, and maybe they're adopted. 317 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,953 Get the fuck out of my chair. 318 00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:16,664 No, I need this. I lost my van. 319 00:14:16,747 --> 00:14:18,583 I have been scrubbin' toilets. 320 00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:20,293 Let me feel like a person. 321 00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:23,504 You can feel like a person after I see my actual baby 322 00:14:23,588 --> 00:14:25,381 that came out of me and exists. 323 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:28,634 Well, maybe my mother's comin' to visit and I need to look nice for her. 324 00:14:28,718 --> 00:14:30,428 [speaking Spanish] Liar. 325 00:14:30,518 --> 00:14:33,563 I really haven't been feelin' so good lately, 326 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:37,310 and dollin' up's the only way I got to feel better. 327 00:14:40,104 --> 00:14:41,356 - Okay. - What? 328 00:14:41,439 --> 00:14:43,191 - I'll work on her real fast. - Come... 329 00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:45,109 I got a soft spot for the pathetics. 330 00:14:45,193 --> 00:14:47,195 [softly] Thank you, thank you, thank you. 331 00:14:48,238 --> 00:14:50,240 Somebody comin' to visit you this weekend? 332 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,533 My son, Michael. 333 00:14:52,617 --> 00:14:53,659 Oh. 334 00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:57,663 How does that work, with you being a lady-man and all? 335 00:14:57,747 --> 00:15:01,459 Do you and his mother both celebrate the day? 336 00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:03,711 You really wanna be callin' me a lady-man 337 00:15:03,794 --> 00:15:06,297 when I got a fistful of your hair in my hand? 338 00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:08,508 Oh, I just thought it sounded nice. 339 00:15:08,591 --> 00:15:10,926 I don't know from these things. 340 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,887 That's why I'm askin' questions. 341 00:15:14,889 --> 00:15:16,807 We're sharing the day. 342 00:15:16,891 --> 00:15:20,019 He's spending Father's Day with her new boyfriend, the pastor. 343 00:15:20,102 --> 00:15:21,103 Oh. 344 00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:24,565 Well, that doesn't seem fair. He's not his father. 345 00:15:24,649 --> 00:15:26,567 Well, I'm not sure I am anymore, either. 346 00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:28,236 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 347 00:15:28,319 --> 00:15:31,781 ♪ And don't you come back No more, no more, no more, no more ♪ 348 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:35,159 ♪ Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more ♪ 349 00:15:35,243 --> 00:15:36,369 ♪ What you say? ♪ 350 00:15:36,452 --> 00:15:37,703 - Mmm-mmm. - [chuckles] 351 00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:39,789 We goin' about this the wrong way. I should sing. 352 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,999 It'll drive him out of there screaming. 353 00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:43,376 - Mmm. - [chuckles] 354 00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:44,585 Mmm. Do my feet again. 355 00:15:44,669 --> 00:15:46,837 Mmm. Like this, baby? Like this? 356 00:15:46,921 --> 00:15:48,005 Ah, yeah. Ooh. 357 00:15:49,006 --> 00:15:51,301 Yeah, you squeeze there while I pinch my nipples. 358 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,636 We have some more of that spicy chicken from Bongo's, 359 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,263 - have sex again. - [chuckles] 360 00:15:55,346 --> 00:15:57,890 I run around the block a couple times, do some jumpin' jacks. 361 00:15:57,973 --> 00:15:59,350 Get out. 362 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,769 Do you hear me? 363 00:16:01,852 --> 00:16:05,230 It is time for you to vacate the premises. 364 00:16:05,315 --> 00:16:06,566 It's your eviction notice. 365 00:16:06,649 --> 00:16:08,455 [sighs] Ooh. 366 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:10,653 Did you see that? 367 00:16:12,186 --> 00:16:13,228 That was a foot. 368 00:16:13,684 --> 00:16:15,240 A whole person in there. 369 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:18,828 Mmm. You scared. 370 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:20,913 A little. 371 00:16:22,122 --> 00:16:23,874 Don't be. You're gonna make a great daddy. 372 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:26,627 Ah. 373 00:16:26,711 --> 00:16:28,128 - Back on that foot. - [chuckles] 374 00:16:28,212 --> 00:16:29,630 Back on that... There you go. 375 00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:30,923 There. 376 00:16:32,801 --> 00:16:35,260 You know, there's nothing wrong with that light. 377 00:16:35,345 --> 00:16:37,347 [chuckles] Oh, yeah? Why don't you let me be the judge of that? 378 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:38,973 Because you don't know what the fuck you're doing. 379 00:16:39,056 --> 00:16:40,140 Okay, you know what? 380 00:16:40,224 --> 00:16:43,769 For your information, there's actually a loose fluorescent bulb in here. 381 00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:47,147 You're lucky I caught this, or we might all be dead. 382 00:16:47,231 --> 00:16:48,232 [scoffs] 383 00:16:50,192 --> 00:16:52,236 You know why she's in here all the time lately? 384 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,571 'Cause she's a dumbshit. 385 00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:55,615 'Cause she got a crush on me. 386 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,700 What are you talking about? 387 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:01,078 When she had that bet thing going on with the bully butch bitch, 388 00:17:01,161 --> 00:17:03,831 she tried to get me, but I didn't do it. 389 00:17:03,914 --> 00:17:05,333 She wasn't offering anything good. 390 00:17:05,416 --> 00:17:08,252 Well, I've seen you suck a cock for a bag of ranch Doritos. 391 00:17:08,336 --> 00:17:11,881 Totally different. That was a cock. And I love ranch flavor. 392 00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:14,675 The point is, she's really into me, 393 00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:16,344 which is why she keeps coming around here. 394 00:17:16,427 --> 00:17:18,303 Well, you gotta stop leading her on. 395 00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:21,223 I ain't done nothin'. I can't help that I'm dyke bait. 396 00:17:23,851 --> 00:17:26,604 Yeah, look at her, bendin' down, showin' you her ass. 397 00:17:26,687 --> 00:17:27,855 I think you're right. 398 00:17:27,938 --> 00:17:31,191 I'm telling you... she's so desperate for me. 399 00:17:32,109 --> 00:17:33,861 Makes me almost sad for her. 400 00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,699 [drier timer buzzing] 401 00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,242 [oven timer dings] 402 00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:44,121 Oh, Nicky! She coming! 403 00:17:44,204 --> 00:17:46,499 - Stop her! It's not ready! - What's not ready? 404 00:17:46,582 --> 00:17:48,501 No, Mommy, you have to go back! Go back to bed! 405 00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:50,503 Sweetie, we're having brunch at the Four Seasons. 406 00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:52,380 Paloma, why is she not dressed? 407 00:17:52,463 --> 00:17:55,299 [stammers] I tell her, but she want to surprise you. 408 00:17:55,383 --> 00:17:57,176 She been up since 6:00. 409 00:17:57,259 --> 00:18:00,054 Well, that's very cute, honey, 410 00:18:00,137 --> 00:18:01,556 but we need to get dressed 411 00:18:01,639 --> 00:18:04,266 and put on our happy faces and pretend we like Grandma. 412 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,969 There'll be shrimp cocktail. 413 00:18:07,027 --> 00:18:08,521 But it's Mother's Day. 414 00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:10,147 That's right. It's my day. 415 00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:14,527 So we will get through brunch, and I will head straight for the spa. 416 00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:15,736 Happy mother. 417 00:18:17,237 --> 00:18:18,489 Oh, come on, sweetheart. 418 00:18:18,573 --> 00:18:21,534 Put on the blue dress I bought you from Bergdorf's. 419 00:18:30,918 --> 00:18:33,087 She didn't read my card. 420 00:18:37,758 --> 00:18:40,094 Your hair looks nice like that. 421 00:18:40,177 --> 00:18:41,637 Oh, you noticed. 422 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:42,847 - [scoffs] - Oh, honey. 423 00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:46,016 Yeah, well, I'm glad to see you keepin' yourself up, doll. 424 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:50,104 No one likes to see a beautiful, ripe fruit just wither on the vine. 425 00:18:50,187 --> 00:18:51,564 You like my ripe fruit? 426 00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:55,067 [scoffs] So sweet, so juicy. 427 00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:58,529 Oh, as if the smell of this dinner isn't making me feel nauseous enough. 428 00:18:58,613 --> 00:19:01,240 Well, maybe you'd rather talk about vegetables, huh? 429 00:19:01,323 --> 00:19:04,284 Like your favorite stalk of celery that just walked in. 430 00:19:04,368 --> 00:19:06,954 Yeah, looks like she's lost a little bit of her crunch. 431 00:19:07,037 --> 00:19:09,081 What the fuck is she doin' back here? 432 00:19:14,336 --> 00:19:15,379 Hi. 433 00:19:15,463 --> 00:19:17,006 Inmate, no touching. 434 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:19,258 Yeah, inmate. Let's just keep it orthodox. 435 00:19:19,341 --> 00:19:22,595 What happened? What are you doing back here? 436 00:19:22,678 --> 00:19:24,054 And... 437 00:19:24,138 --> 00:19:25,640 What happened to your face? 438 00:19:26,807 --> 00:19:29,351 Just a little trouble in lockup. I was in a mood. 439 00:19:30,686 --> 00:19:33,814 I forgot that you should let crackheads have their way. 440 00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:34,982 Well, yeah. 441 00:19:35,065 --> 00:19:36,567 Crackheads... 442 00:19:36,651 --> 00:19:37,693 Wookiees... 443 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,444 you know, you gotta let 'em win. 444 00:19:40,488 --> 00:19:43,105 What... did you do? 445 00:19:43,107 --> 00:19:46,536 This is so unbelievably embarrassing. 446 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,203 Come on. 447 00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,534 Like anybody in here can judge. 448 00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:54,126 How am I back here? 449 00:19:55,377 --> 00:19:57,732 That's my question. Come on. 450 00:19:58,548 --> 00:20:00,550 [stammers] Let's go take a walk. 451 00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,718 [Taystee] But can't real faith make shit happen? 452 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,845 Look, who knows anything, all right? 453 00:20:04,929 --> 00:20:06,346 All I'm saying is, they did some kind of 454 00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:07,723 voodoo spell on Vee, 455 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,183 and, boom, bitch was gone. 456 00:20:09,266 --> 00:20:10,309 Yo. 457 00:20:10,851 --> 00:20:13,187 Vee is fine. 458 00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:14,897 - [Taystee] Oh, my God. - Yo, okay. 459 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,732 I cannot go through this again. 460 00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:22,446 Suzanne... you throw that tray, or anything on it, 461 00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:24,532 we dog-pilin' on you till you're flat. 462 00:20:24,615 --> 00:20:26,992 - Mmm-hmm. - Agree to disagree, 463 00:20:27,076 --> 00:20:28,744 and let's get on with our lives. 464 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,079 Agree to disagree. 465 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,831 Uh-huh. Shit. 466 00:20:31,914 --> 00:20:33,040 Rhymes with, "Vee." 467 00:20:33,123 --> 00:20:35,094 Rhymes with, "Let it be." 468 00:20:35,174 --> 00:20:38,713 So, what you want with this voodoo magic, anyhow? 469 00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:40,005 [Taystee] Don't be playin' around with that. 470 00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:43,759 Mess with the evil forces, you'll be out like Cedric Diggory. 471 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,260 Who? 472 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,539 [both] Harry Potter. 473 00:20:46,541 --> 00:20:48,584 Died in the Triwizard Tournament? 474 00:20:48,973 --> 00:20:50,307 [Poussey] Look, I don't know. I just... 475 00:20:50,390 --> 00:20:51,851 I think it's interestin'. 476 00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:55,563 I mean, who knows what kind of forces are operatin' out there in the universe? 477 00:20:55,646 --> 00:20:58,482 Maybe it ain't such a bad idea to try to get 'em on your side. 478 00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,944 [Poussey's mom] All right, Poussey, you read the Calvin part, 479 00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:04,193 I'll be the mom. Here. 480 00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:06,824 "Mom, was I ever a grub?" 481 00:21:06,907 --> 00:21:07,908 "A what?" 482 00:21:07,992 --> 00:21:12,037 "You know, a larva. Did I really 'pup-ate' at age two?" 483 00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:13,764 "Pu-pate." 484 00:21:14,665 --> 00:21:16,000 Like... poo? 485 00:21:16,083 --> 00:21:19,461 Oh, come on. You know that word from when we studied butterflies. 486 00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:21,922 The caterpillar goes through the pupal stage and then... 487 00:21:22,006 --> 00:21:23,257 I love you, Mommy. 488 00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:27,052 Love you, too, baby. 489 00:21:27,237 --> 00:21:28,446 Now, let's keep reading. 490 00:21:30,848 --> 00:21:32,391 I am so excited! 491 00:21:32,474 --> 00:21:34,101 I don't think I'm gonna be able to go to sleep tonight. 492 00:21:34,184 --> 00:21:35,560 No, you gotta try. 493 00:21:35,645 --> 00:21:37,730 You don't want your baby seeing you with bags under your eyes. 494 00:21:37,813 --> 00:21:39,523 That's setting a really bad example. 495 00:21:39,607 --> 00:21:42,192 So, how you feelin' about your first Mother's Day? 496 00:21:42,276 --> 00:21:44,194 - I'm not a mother yet. - Sure you are. 497 00:21:44,278 --> 00:21:46,951 If she's already givin' you pain and trouble, you're a mother. 498 00:21:47,322 --> 00:21:48,490 And I'm a mother. 499 00:21:48,573 --> 00:21:50,743 You getting me a present tomorrow for all I've done for you? 500 00:21:51,368 --> 00:21:53,453 Don't I just cause you pain and trouble? 501 00:21:53,537 --> 00:21:55,303 At least get me a card or something. 502 00:21:56,331 --> 00:21:58,167 Draw me one of your weird pictures. 503 00:21:59,877 --> 00:22:01,128 Give me my stuff! 504 00:22:01,211 --> 00:22:04,131 Oh, no? Something to hide? 505 00:22:04,214 --> 00:22:06,842 Love letters, maybe, from all those men in your life? 506 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,385 This is fancy. 507 00:22:08,468 --> 00:22:09,469 Greenwich, Connecticut? 508 00:22:09,553 --> 00:22:10,971 Who the fuck you know in Greenwich, Connecticut? 509 00:22:11,055 --> 00:22:12,932 No one. I was gonna throw it out. It's stupid. 510 00:22:13,015 --> 00:22:14,934 "I've heard I'm to have a grandchild. 511 00:22:15,017 --> 00:22:16,601 I'd like to see you. 512 00:22:16,686 --> 00:22:18,979 Sincerely, Delia Mendez Powell." 513 00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:20,981 Mendez? 514 00:22:20,983 --> 00:22:23,131 Holy shit! This is Pornstache's mother? 515 00:22:24,526 --> 00:22:27,029 Yo, I smell money here. You gotta say yes. 516 00:22:27,112 --> 00:22:28,864 Write her back and tell her you'll see her. 517 00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,866 'Cause I need another person involved here, right? 518 00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:32,702 I don't wanna see her. 519 00:22:34,912 --> 00:22:37,832 Fine. Don't listen to your mother. 520 00:22:37,915 --> 00:22:40,292 'Cause that always works out so well. 521 00:22:44,171 --> 00:22:47,049 So, listen... I got a guy. 522 00:22:47,132 --> 00:22:48,592 You are a guy. 523 00:22:48,675 --> 00:22:49,969 Suck my dick. 524 00:22:52,722 --> 00:22:55,224 He's comin' up the tunnel on Wednesday. He's gonna sell it for us. 525 00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:56,934 So we gotta get that shit to the greenhouse. 526 00:22:57,017 --> 00:22:59,269 So far, the best plan we've come up with 527 00:22:59,353 --> 00:23:01,605 is takin' it out one bag at a time up our snatches 528 00:23:01,688 --> 00:23:04,524 while the meth-heads take their afternoon naps, okay? 529 00:23:04,608 --> 00:23:06,942 And that plan has more holes in it than we have, doesn't it? 530 00:23:07,652 --> 00:23:10,823 All right, we need to space these pompoms out more evenly. 531 00:23:11,441 --> 00:23:13,617 I'm a wacky clown. I don't need symmetry. 532 00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,245 And you're stallin'. It's time. 533 00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:19,289 It's so pretty. I like looking at it. 534 00:23:19,373 --> 00:23:22,542 Yeah, well, say goodbye, 'cause come Wednesday, 535 00:23:22,626 --> 00:23:25,838 that shit is going down the tunnel and out into the world for sale... 536 00:23:25,921 --> 00:23:27,339 like a Romanian baby. 537 00:23:27,977 --> 00:23:29,383 This shit is happenin'. 538 00:23:32,803 --> 00:23:35,305 [Gina] I take this ball of blue energy... 539 00:23:37,557 --> 00:23:39,434 and I pass it to you. 540 00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:46,108 I take this ball of blue energy and I pass it... 541 00:23:46,191 --> 00:23:47,902 [Frieda] You sure you want to do this, Red? 542 00:23:47,985 --> 00:23:50,988 I've only got two years left, Frieda. 543 00:23:51,071 --> 00:23:55,826 Compared to what I was looking at when I got here, that's so little time. 544 00:23:55,910 --> 00:23:58,120 I see the light at the end of the tunnel. 545 00:23:58,203 --> 00:23:59,538 [chuckles] So to speak. 546 00:23:59,621 --> 00:24:02,875 [grunts] How much time we got before we have to rejoin the witch ladies? 547 00:24:02,958 --> 00:24:04,126 Oh, about a half hour. 548 00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:07,171 It takes 'em forever to pass that ball around the circle. 549 00:24:07,254 --> 00:24:09,298 It drives Maxwell nuts. 550 00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:11,879 She smokes by the basketball courts till they're done. 551 00:24:11,881 --> 00:24:13,635 And this is okay with Caputo? 552 00:24:13,718 --> 00:24:18,509 Oh, it's a whole new world around here. A kinder, gentler Litchfield. 553 00:24:18,849 --> 00:24:21,351 Wiccans get night walks on the full moon. 554 00:24:21,435 --> 00:24:24,354 Things that break get mostly fixed. 555 00:24:24,438 --> 00:24:28,400 I even hear people are getting out early. 556 00:24:28,483 --> 00:24:31,070 Uh, Sanchez in the kitchen, 557 00:24:31,153 --> 00:24:35,074 that, uh... that girl with the nostrils from grounds crew. 558 00:24:35,157 --> 00:24:36,616 [panting] All the more reason to do this. 559 00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:38,994 Are you sure? Are you really sure? 560 00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,246 We had a good thing goin' here, Red. 561 00:24:41,330 --> 00:24:42,581 [grunting] 562 00:24:43,582 --> 00:24:44,834 I'm sure. 563 00:24:46,293 --> 00:24:47,794 Bye-bye, tunnel. 564 00:24:48,963 --> 00:24:50,089 [groans] 565 00:24:51,340 --> 00:24:53,592 [Gina] And ye shall be free from slavery. 566 00:24:54,593 --> 00:24:57,637 And as a sign that ye be really free... 567 00:24:57,721 --> 00:25:00,182 ye shall be naked in thy rites. 568 00:25:00,265 --> 00:25:01,976 And ye shall dance... 569 00:25:03,102 --> 00:25:05,062 Wait, don't do that. 570 00:25:05,145 --> 00:25:06,540 It's metaphorical naked. 571 00:25:06,542 --> 00:25:09,231 I mean, we're passing around an invisible ball, for Christ's sake. 572 00:25:09,233 --> 00:25:11,443 I thought we didn't believe in Christ. 573 00:25:11,526 --> 00:25:12,903 [Frieda] Better hurry. 574 00:25:12,987 --> 00:25:14,488 [Red] Almost finished. 575 00:25:17,824 --> 00:25:19,994 You're a twisted fuck, aren't ya? 576 00:25:20,487 --> 00:25:22,246 Life is complex, huh? 577 00:25:22,746 --> 00:25:24,414 Let's rejoin the circle. 578 00:25:24,498 --> 00:25:27,084 I could use some energy, blue or otherwise. 579 00:25:27,167 --> 00:25:28,210 [grunts] 580 00:25:29,452 --> 00:25:30,754 Healy, I wanna go home. 581 00:25:30,837 --> 00:25:32,797 You haven't answered my question. 582 00:25:32,882 --> 00:25:36,843 Why is Rogers here? I started Safe Place. 583 00:25:36,927 --> 00:25:39,930 These women trust me, okay? And I'm good at my job, Joe. 584 00:25:40,014 --> 00:25:42,474 She's here because she's needed. 585 00:25:42,557 --> 00:25:44,309 We never replaced Callahan. 586 00:25:44,393 --> 00:25:45,895 We all know Bailey is senile. 587 00:25:46,176 --> 00:25:50,024 For months, you're tellin' me how swamped you are, how overwhelmed. 588 00:25:50,107 --> 00:25:51,691 Okay, I take it back. I'm fine. 589 00:25:51,775 --> 00:25:53,903 Let her go. I've got it covered, okay? 590 00:25:55,041 --> 00:25:55,897 No. 591 00:25:57,697 --> 00:25:59,658 Fine, then she can have all the blacks and the crazies. 592 00:26:00,780 --> 00:26:01,495 Healy... 593 00:26:01,497 --> 00:26:03,620 Look, I've got a bad feeling about this one. 594 00:26:03,703 --> 00:26:05,747 She doesn't smell right, and I mean that literally. 595 00:26:05,749 --> 00:26:08,706 She's got a weird smell. Have you noticed that? 596 00:26:08,708 --> 00:26:09,681 Sam! 597 00:26:10,252 --> 00:26:11,921 She's here now. 598 00:26:12,004 --> 00:26:13,172 She's your coworker. 599 00:26:14,307 --> 00:26:17,269 Eh, be nice, be respectful. 600 00:26:18,552 --> 00:26:20,137 Come on, be a gentleman. 601 00:26:20,663 --> 00:26:22,639 [Healy's mom] Yes, my little gentleman. 602 00:26:22,851 --> 00:26:24,593 Gentleman Sam. 603 00:26:25,696 --> 00:26:27,031 Yes, and yes again! 604 00:26:27,384 --> 00:26:29,901 Because the angels have spoken to me... 605 00:26:30,272 --> 00:26:32,441 [softly] and they've told me their secrets. 606 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,460 I brought you breakfast. 607 00:26:39,573 --> 00:26:41,325 Now it's a party! 608 00:26:41,408 --> 00:26:43,160 Come dance with Mommy. 609 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:52,236 [Alex] Is your mom coming? 610 00:26:53,253 --> 00:26:54,448 Are you kidding me? 611 00:26:55,130 --> 00:26:58,258 Carol is spending the day with her un-imprisoned children. 612 00:26:58,260 --> 00:26:59,261 Mmm. 613 00:27:02,429 --> 00:27:05,890 Diane would smack the shit out of me if she were still alive. 614 00:27:05,975 --> 00:27:07,184 [sniffles] 615 00:27:09,144 --> 00:27:12,205 She's probably looking down right now just... 616 00:27:13,482 --> 00:27:15,730 vomiting angel dust. 617 00:27:19,127 --> 00:27:21,161 I feel so stupid. 618 00:27:22,032 --> 00:27:23,757 You were living in Queens. 619 00:27:24,368 --> 00:27:27,204 I'm sure that made prison seem much more attractive. 620 00:27:28,705 --> 00:27:31,208 Every time I close my eyes, I relive that moment. 621 00:27:31,581 --> 00:27:33,418 Fuck up. Fuck up. 622 00:27:33,502 --> 00:27:34,458 Alex... 623 00:27:34,460 --> 00:27:37,171 [sobbing] I had a chance to make a life. 624 00:27:37,256 --> 00:27:39,299 Okay, you need to shut up. 625 00:27:41,051 --> 00:27:42,052 [Alex whimpers] 626 00:27:42,886 --> 00:27:44,054 [sniffles] 627 00:27:45,639 --> 00:27:48,267 Oh, that's not hot when your snot drips in my mouth like that. 628 00:27:48,350 --> 00:27:49,351 - No? - No. 629 00:27:49,434 --> 00:27:51,561 - It's not your thing? - No, I don't like that. 630 00:27:51,645 --> 00:27:53,397 [chuckles] I thought you'd be into it. 631 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:54,481 Mmm-mmm. 632 00:27:56,900 --> 00:27:58,193 [sobbing] 633 00:27:59,486 --> 00:28:01,113 I'm such an idiot. 634 00:28:01,196 --> 00:28:03,506 No, Alex... 635 00:28:05,034 --> 00:28:07,827 You have to stop. You have to. It wasn't your fault. 636 00:28:07,911 --> 00:28:09,463 Of course it was my fault! 637 00:28:10,039 --> 00:28:11,929 No one put that gun in my hand. 638 00:28:11,931 --> 00:28:13,718 - But you didn't know. - Fuck up! 639 00:28:13,833 --> 00:28:15,627 Alex, it wasn't you. 640 00:28:15,912 --> 00:28:17,163 It wasn't you. 641 00:28:20,132 --> 00:28:21,300 It... 642 00:28:30,559 --> 00:28:32,102 [softly] It was the system. 643 00:28:35,064 --> 00:28:36,398 You got caught... 644 00:28:37,732 --> 00:28:39,318 in the system. 645 00:28:40,860 --> 00:28:44,489 I'm just a fly in the web of the prison industrial complex? 646 00:28:44,573 --> 00:28:46,158 [scoffs] Christ. 647 00:28:46,241 --> 00:28:48,577 But at least we're in the same web, right? 648 00:28:50,579 --> 00:28:52,456 I mean, at least we're in it together. 649 00:28:54,708 --> 00:28:55,792 Yeah. 650 00:28:57,127 --> 00:28:58,462 At least we're in it together. 651 00:28:58,545 --> 00:28:59,796 [Donaldson] Ladies! 652 00:28:59,879 --> 00:29:02,006 Get the heck out of there right now! 653 00:29:02,091 --> 00:29:04,801 You're out of bounds! Count's in five! 654 00:29:06,095 --> 00:29:08,472 I know you're back there! I'm not an idiot! 655 00:29:08,555 --> 00:29:11,350 Out now! You're both gettin' shots! 656 00:29:24,028 --> 00:29:25,614 Place is goin' to hell. 657 00:29:25,697 --> 00:29:27,824 Hands off! And fingers off! 658 00:29:27,907 --> 00:29:30,577 Back away from the table! And nobody touch me. 659 00:29:30,660 --> 00:29:33,080 If anybody touches me, you don't go in. 660 00:29:34,289 --> 00:29:37,251 You are all expected to behave. 661 00:29:37,334 --> 00:29:40,044 Anyone not behaving will be sent back home. 662 00:29:40,516 --> 00:29:42,756 All caregivers must be reachable 663 00:29:42,839 --> 00:29:46,510 in case your children you've checked in need to be sent back out. 664 00:29:47,552 --> 00:29:48,928 Welcome to the fun zone. 665 00:29:49,286 --> 00:29:50,788 Mother's last name? 666 00:29:50,806 --> 00:29:53,141 I think you know it. How you doin', my friend? 667 00:29:53,975 --> 00:29:55,269 Fine. Fine. 668 00:29:55,352 --> 00:29:57,479 Yeah? Glad to hear it. 669 00:29:57,562 --> 00:29:59,523 So, listen, I got a couple of your baby's aunts and uncle here. 670 00:29:59,606 --> 00:30:00,982 [softly] Hey, can you please keep it down? 671 00:30:01,065 --> 00:30:02,692 Stop sweatin' it, bro. Nobody's listenin'. 672 00:30:03,652 --> 00:30:04,653 Uh, names? 673 00:30:04,736 --> 00:30:06,613 You're gonna have to learn these soon, too, hermano. 674 00:30:06,696 --> 00:30:11,160 Eva, Lucy, Christina, and that's Emiliano. 675 00:30:12,024 --> 00:30:13,287 So, listen, you should come by the house soon, 676 00:30:13,370 --> 00:30:14,413 you know, get to know us. 677 00:30:14,496 --> 00:30:17,832 I'm not just busting balls, okay? You're family now. 678 00:30:18,190 --> 00:30:19,709 Okay, here are your badges. [chuckles awkwardly] Have a nice day. 679 00:30:19,793 --> 00:30:20,835 All right, go ahead, kids. 680 00:30:20,919 --> 00:30:23,255 Go give your mother a big hug and a kiss for me. 681 00:30:23,338 --> 00:30:24,464 And Emiliano... 682 00:30:24,548 --> 00:30:26,800 no tongue, you little perv. 683 00:30:27,926 --> 00:30:29,303 Happy Mother's Day, Johnny boy. 684 00:30:30,554 --> 00:30:31,971 [all cheering] 685 00:30:45,277 --> 00:30:46,570 [boy] This blows! 686 00:30:46,653 --> 00:30:47,904 [puppies yapping] 687 00:30:53,577 --> 00:30:55,119 [imitating airplane engine] 688 00:30:56,297 --> 00:30:59,633 Hey, Warren! You know you're not allowed out there. 689 00:30:59,833 --> 00:31:02,919 Yeah, but I made a kite, Mr. Healy. Kids love kites. 690 00:31:03,002 --> 00:31:05,214 That may be true, but you've been banned 691 00:31:05,297 --> 00:31:07,882 from interacting with the children, and you know that. 692 00:31:07,966 --> 00:31:09,884 Yeah, that was last year. 693 00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:13,930 And this is a kite, not Chinese jump rope. 694 00:31:14,278 --> 00:31:16,140 The answer is no, Warren. 695 00:31:17,313 --> 00:31:20,509 Now, you're not to step foot outside of this building. 696 00:31:21,188 --> 00:31:22,189 Is that clear? 697 00:31:23,607 --> 00:31:24,733 Yes, sir. 698 00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:44,378 [Brook] Everyone needs to back up and line up. 699 00:31:44,768 --> 00:31:46,505 Okay, okay, who's first? 700 00:31:47,076 --> 00:31:48,465 Where's the stick? 701 00:31:48,548 --> 00:31:49,674 Sticks? We can't give 'em sticks. 702 00:31:49,968 --> 00:31:51,551 How are they supposed to break the piñata? 703 00:31:51,635 --> 00:31:53,428 I don't know. Punch it, I guess. 704 00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:55,680 Give it a good shot in the side, work out their anger. 705 00:31:55,764 --> 00:31:57,766 They're having fun. They're not angry. 706 00:31:57,849 --> 00:31:59,017 Sure they are. 707 00:31:59,107 --> 00:32:02,661 Hey, kid, your mother is in prison. 708 00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:03,855 Pummel the piñata. 709 00:32:04,465 --> 00:32:05,430 Jab, jab. 710 00:32:11,263 --> 00:32:12,476 Hit it. 711 00:32:13,399 --> 00:32:14,675 All right. 712 00:32:17,118 --> 00:32:18,161 [gasps] 713 00:32:18,245 --> 00:32:20,622 No, you look really good! 714 00:32:20,705 --> 00:32:22,374 You could, like, leave here and go straight to 715 00:32:22,457 --> 00:32:24,668 a My Chemical Romance concert and be the balls. 716 00:32:26,044 --> 00:32:30,549 [exclaims] You missed! Next! Loser. 717 00:32:30,632 --> 00:32:32,717 Why you being so fuckin' mean, man? They're kids. 718 00:32:32,801 --> 00:32:36,471 Number one, they miss, mo' candy for me. 719 00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:38,307 And number two, I don't like kids. 720 00:32:39,140 --> 00:32:41,184 I don't like mamas, neither, for that matter. 721 00:32:41,268 --> 00:32:42,644 Mine thinks I'm shit. 722 00:32:42,727 --> 00:32:44,938 Well, fuck her. I'm done with mama. 723 00:32:45,021 --> 00:32:47,274 - I'm done with stand-ins for mamas. - Mmm. 724 00:32:47,357 --> 00:32:49,651 I am parent-free and proud. 725 00:32:50,127 --> 00:32:52,028 Yeah, well, I liked my moms. 726 00:32:52,030 --> 00:32:53,657 Well, lucky you. 727 00:32:53,822 --> 00:32:54,989 [girl] Oh, come on. 728 00:32:55,073 --> 00:32:57,676 Maybe when mine dies, I'll like her better. 729 00:32:57,992 --> 00:32:59,588 A'ight, next! 730 00:33:00,078 --> 00:33:01,434 Shit. 731 00:33:02,032 --> 00:33:05,322 - Simon says deep breath in. - [all inhaling] 732 00:33:06,170 --> 00:33:08,962 - Simon says deep breath out. - [all exhaling] 733 00:33:09,045 --> 00:33:10,046 Hands in the air. 734 00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:13,967 Chang, Simon didn't say that. 735 00:33:14,050 --> 00:33:15,635 - [kids laughing] - But that's okay. 736 00:33:15,719 --> 00:33:19,806 I encourage you all to follow your own path. 737 00:33:19,889 --> 00:33:21,850 What you in for? 738 00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:24,644 [Yoga Jones] Simon says tug at your ear. 739 00:33:24,728 --> 00:33:27,188 [Yoga Jones] Tug at your other ear. 740 00:33:27,271 --> 00:33:30,484 Simon says wiggle your hips. 741 00:33:30,567 --> 00:33:32,694 Simon says hop on one foot! 742 00:33:32,777 --> 00:33:35,489 - Duck. - [Yoga Jones] Simon says wiggle your hips. 743 00:33:35,572 --> 00:33:37,532 - Duck. - [Yoga Jones] Jump up in the air! 744 00:33:37,616 --> 00:33:39,534 - Simon says turn around. - Duck. 745 00:33:39,618 --> 00:33:41,786 - [Yoga Jones] Don't turn around. - Goose. 746 00:33:41,870 --> 00:33:44,831 [Yoga Jones] Simon says hands on your head. 747 00:33:46,165 --> 00:33:49,419 - Simon says hands on your knees. - [girl] Duck... 748 00:33:49,503 --> 00:33:51,588 Use his shirt like a paper towel. 749 00:33:51,671 --> 00:33:53,047 He loves it. 750 00:33:53,131 --> 00:33:56,551 One, two, three, go. 751 00:33:56,635 --> 00:33:58,219 [kids exclaiming] 752 00:33:59,721 --> 00:34:01,765 Yo, hey, hey! Get out... Get out of here! 753 00:34:01,848 --> 00:34:03,683 - [kids giggling] - Get out of here! 754 00:34:03,767 --> 00:34:06,395 You! You better get out of here! Where's your mother, boy? 755 00:34:06,478 --> 00:34:08,258 Get out of here! 756 00:34:08,260 --> 00:34:10,676 I don't understand. Why isn't your brother here? 757 00:34:11,650 --> 00:34:13,169 He says it's for babies. 758 00:34:13,652 --> 00:34:16,212 I haven't seen him in two and a half years. 759 00:34:18,407 --> 00:34:21,117 Look at you. You got a mustache? 760 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,994 Jesus. [chuckles] 761 00:34:23,077 --> 00:34:24,162 You got hair everywhere? 762 00:34:24,245 --> 00:34:25,329 Oh, Mom! 763 00:34:25,414 --> 00:34:27,658 Never mind. Don't answer that. I can't... 764 00:34:28,249 --> 00:34:29,793 It's good to see you. 765 00:34:29,876 --> 00:34:31,210 You, too. 766 00:34:31,294 --> 00:34:32,532 Lourdes treating you good? 767 00:34:32,619 --> 00:34:34,714 We're fine. She and Benny fight a lot. 768 00:34:34,798 --> 00:34:37,969 They had a crazy one when he got suspended from school last week. 769 00:34:38,766 --> 00:34:39,934 What'd he get suspended for? 770 00:34:40,017 --> 00:34:41,185 Cutting class. 771 00:34:41,805 --> 00:34:43,973 So, he misses school and they make him miss more school, 772 00:34:44,057 --> 00:34:45,475 that makes no sense. 773 00:34:45,559 --> 00:34:48,144 Jesus, what the hell? Cutting class. 774 00:34:48,227 --> 00:34:49,479 You know what? 775 00:34:49,563 --> 00:34:51,565 You tell him that he needs to get his little delinquent ass 776 00:34:51,648 --> 00:34:54,358 over here next week for visitation, you got that? 777 00:34:54,443 --> 00:34:55,569 Okay. 778 00:34:56,611 --> 00:34:57,821 [sighs] 779 00:34:58,142 --> 00:34:59,351 I'm sorry, papi. 780 00:35:00,281 --> 00:35:02,033 - You're here, right? - Yeah. 781 00:35:02,035 --> 00:35:04,379 Yeah, let's talk about you, huh? 782 00:35:05,412 --> 00:35:07,956 What you been up to for the last 30 months? Fun things? 783 00:35:08,957 --> 00:35:11,585 - [girl groans] - All right, next. 784 00:35:11,668 --> 00:35:13,795 [inmate 1] Yeah, I'm glad you're here. 785 00:35:13,878 --> 00:35:16,339 - [Taystee] You was just here. - You made my day. 786 00:35:17,716 --> 00:35:20,677 [Black Cindy chuckles] She made it. Next. 787 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,972 Grandma's not a clown. This is eye shadow. 788 00:35:24,055 --> 00:35:25,807 Grandma put on a face for you. 789 00:35:25,890 --> 00:35:29,060 Please, I'm gorgeous. [clicks tongue] 790 00:35:29,143 --> 00:35:31,312 [inmate 2] I know what you're saying, but... 791 00:35:47,203 --> 00:35:50,081 - All right, honey, take a little spritz. - Mmm-mmm. 792 00:35:50,164 --> 00:35:53,543 What, no? Be a filthy animal. Who raised you, huh? 793 00:35:53,627 --> 00:35:54,669 Oh, hi, Annette. 794 00:35:56,031 --> 00:35:58,476 There you go. Wipe front to back, throw it in the trash. 795 00:35:58,590 --> 00:35:59,674 Thank you very much. 796 00:35:59,758 --> 00:36:01,092 This is a nice setup you got here. 797 00:36:01,175 --> 00:36:02,260 Oh, you. 798 00:36:02,343 --> 00:36:05,388 You are so lucky you are in electrical. 799 00:36:05,472 --> 00:36:07,098 Listen, you want my company or not? 800 00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:09,643 Yes, I do. Sit her down. 801 00:36:09,726 --> 00:36:11,185 - All right. - Yeah. 802 00:36:12,311 --> 00:36:13,522 Look at this shit, right? 803 00:36:13,605 --> 00:36:15,774 I mean, look at this, with these fuckin' kids. 804 00:36:15,857 --> 00:36:16,983 Oh, they're everywhere. 805 00:36:17,066 --> 00:36:18,109 I hate kids. 806 00:36:18,192 --> 00:36:20,319 You know, they don't drink, they haven't traveled. 807 00:36:21,905 --> 00:36:23,823 It's nasty in there. You might wanna hold your breath. 808 00:36:23,907 --> 00:36:25,742 Hey, can I talk to you? 809 00:36:26,826 --> 00:36:28,889 Um, I mean, I can wait till you're finished. 810 00:36:29,496 --> 00:36:32,040 This mad juju that you and Gloria do... 811 00:36:32,999 --> 00:36:34,371 how does it work? 812 00:36:35,084 --> 00:36:36,503 I'm really missing someone. 813 00:36:42,801 --> 00:36:45,094 Is the baby gonna live with us? 814 00:36:45,178 --> 00:36:46,283 Um... 815 00:36:46,930 --> 00:36:48,116 We'll see. 816 00:36:48,765 --> 00:36:50,058 "We'll see"? 817 00:36:50,141 --> 00:36:51,225 What the fuck is that? 818 00:36:51,865 --> 00:36:53,477 I'm gonna be a tía. 819 00:36:53,496 --> 00:36:54,622 [Bennett] Hey. 820 00:36:54,771 --> 00:36:56,056 Hi, there. 821 00:36:56,058 --> 00:36:57,435 Everyone having fun? 822 00:36:58,733 --> 00:36:59,901 [Dayanara sighs] 823 00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:03,441 Um, I have a Mother's Day joke. 824 00:37:03,988 --> 00:37:06,908 How come computers are so smart? 825 00:37:06,991 --> 00:37:08,492 It's 'cause they listen to their motherboards. 826 00:37:10,870 --> 00:37:12,539 Do you get it? That's what they call the... 827 00:37:12,622 --> 00:37:13,873 It's the board thingy in the computer. 828 00:37:13,957 --> 00:37:16,960 I think it's, like, what all the circuits are... attached to. 829 00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:20,366 - It's motherboard, 'cause... - [Aleida clears throat] 830 00:37:23,550 --> 00:37:24,808 All right, well, anyway, have a... 831 00:37:25,594 --> 00:37:27,534 have a great afternoon, so... 832 00:37:33,935 --> 00:37:35,436 CO Bennett, let's chat. 833 00:37:37,146 --> 00:37:39,023 When are you gonna learn to leave well enough alone? 834 00:37:39,107 --> 00:37:40,817 We were just talking. 835 00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:43,820 I do you a solid and sweep everything under the carpet, 836 00:37:43,903 --> 00:37:45,572 and you go around lifting up the corners. 837 00:37:45,655 --> 00:37:48,532 "Hey, everybody, look, look. Look what I got under here." 838 00:37:48,617 --> 00:37:51,077 Okay, respectfully, sir, I'm pretty sure you did yourself a solid. 839 00:37:52,704 --> 00:37:56,827 You think you're the only one ever to be tempted by an inmate? 840 00:37:57,250 --> 00:38:00,879 You think I never saw a tight piece sitting in my office chair crying, 841 00:38:00,962 --> 00:38:02,714 tears covering her khaki-covered tits, 842 00:38:02,797 --> 00:38:05,549 and thought, "I could bend that over my inbox"? 843 00:38:06,101 --> 00:38:08,678 A lesser man would be using this place 844 00:38:08,762 --> 00:38:12,265 as his own personal pussy smorgasbord, 845 00:38:12,348 --> 00:38:15,018 every fucking color, shape, size. 846 00:38:15,101 --> 00:38:17,388 Around the world without ever leaving upstate. 847 00:38:17,687 --> 00:38:19,063 But I am not a lesser man. 848 00:38:20,273 --> 00:38:22,150 When those feelings come on me, you know what I do? 849 00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:23,276 Please don't tell me. 850 00:38:23,359 --> 00:38:25,779 I take care of my fucking self. 851 00:38:26,149 --> 00:38:27,947 - Do you know what I'm saying? - I'm pretty sure I do. 852 00:38:28,031 --> 00:38:29,073 I spank it out, Bennett. 853 00:38:29,157 --> 00:38:30,408 Uh, it's... 854 00:38:30,491 --> 00:38:33,119 And for the love of Pete, I suggest you do the same... 855 00:38:33,202 --> 00:38:36,831 like decent men have been doing since time immemorial. 856 00:38:39,375 --> 00:38:43,379 Me and Diaz, it's about more than sex... sir. 857 00:38:45,589 --> 00:38:47,300 Just stay away from her, okay? 858 00:38:48,342 --> 00:38:49,803 Poor, deluded fuck. 859 00:38:49,886 --> 00:38:51,012 What'd you say? 860 00:38:55,224 --> 00:38:58,189 I mean, I just feel bad because it's her day, you know? 861 00:38:58,435 --> 00:39:01,064 And she's just sitting in the car while I'm here. 862 00:39:01,147 --> 00:39:02,857 I didn't mean to steal your mom's day. 863 00:39:03,180 --> 00:39:05,401 Yeah, well, I don't need another mother. 864 00:39:07,028 --> 00:39:08,402 I get that. 865 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:11,074 So, how are things with the good pastor? 866 00:39:11,157 --> 00:39:12,616 He makin' your mom happy? 867 00:39:12,701 --> 00:39:13,860 Yeah, I guess. 868 00:39:14,178 --> 00:39:15,995 How about you? Gettin' along? 869 00:39:16,573 --> 00:39:18,289 Well, he taught me how to shave. 870 00:39:19,290 --> 00:39:20,777 What'd he say about that? 871 00:39:21,292 --> 00:39:24,628 He tell you to go down, shave with the grain? 872 00:39:24,713 --> 00:39:27,048 No, up and against the grain. 873 00:39:27,131 --> 00:39:28,507 That ain't how you do it. 874 00:39:28,591 --> 00:39:30,218 Well, that's what he told me. 875 00:39:30,301 --> 00:39:31,678 Well, I know better. 876 00:39:31,761 --> 00:39:32,971 Now, who you gonna listen to, 877 00:39:33,054 --> 00:39:36,057 someone who just shaves his face or someone who shaves everywhere? 878 00:39:36,282 --> 00:39:37,558 Ew. 879 00:39:40,979 --> 00:39:43,269 You think that baby over there is cuter than my girl? 880 00:39:43,271 --> 00:39:44,272 Ay, please. 881 00:39:44,559 --> 00:39:47,443 You have the prettiest bebecita here, after mine. 882 00:39:47,526 --> 00:39:48,611 I know. 883 00:39:48,695 --> 00:39:49,696 [giggles] 884 00:39:51,364 --> 00:39:53,032 [Maria] Ay, look at her. 885 00:39:53,116 --> 00:39:54,993 She looks terrified. 886 00:39:55,076 --> 00:39:56,828 - [Maritza] Oh, she'll come around. - [Maria] Mmm-hmm. 887 00:39:56,911 --> 00:39:59,748 I mean, what's more beautiful than having a baby? 888 00:39:59,831 --> 00:40:01,249 Making a life? 889 00:40:01,332 --> 00:40:02,709 The smell of their heads, 890 00:40:02,792 --> 00:40:05,461 the way they put their whole weight on you when they fall asleep. 891 00:40:05,544 --> 00:40:07,088 She's gonna fall in love, and then she'll be fine. 892 00:40:07,171 --> 00:40:08,422 Mmm-hmm. 893 00:40:09,259 --> 00:40:12,135 Ay, chica, you got a little something on your shirt there. 894 00:40:12,218 --> 00:40:15,304 - What is that? Piss or shit? - Oh, it smells like shit. 895 00:40:15,388 --> 00:40:18,767 Oh, my God! This is so disgusting! 896 00:40:20,226 --> 00:40:22,145 - Here, take it! Take it! - Eh? 897 00:40:22,228 --> 00:40:23,562 [Maritza] So gross! 898 00:40:23,646 --> 00:40:25,481 [speaking Spanish] Hey, what am I supposed to do with this baby? 899 00:40:25,564 --> 00:40:26,649 [speaking English] Give it to my sister! 900 00:40:26,733 --> 00:40:28,484 [grunting] 901 00:40:28,567 --> 00:40:30,403 Okay, this is gettin' ridiculous. 902 00:40:30,486 --> 00:40:32,530 Kids, stand back. 903 00:40:38,828 --> 00:40:40,496 [kids exclaiming] 904 00:40:44,708 --> 00:40:46,460 [all screaming excitedly] 905 00:40:53,467 --> 00:40:54,761 - [boy] There's no candy. - Where's the candy? 906 00:40:54,844 --> 00:40:56,137 - [girl] It's empty. - Oh, my God. 907 00:40:56,220 --> 00:40:58,264 This is such a metaphor for their lives. 908 00:40:58,347 --> 00:40:59,348 Didn't you put it in? 909 00:40:59,432 --> 00:41:00,892 I wasn't supposed to put it in. 910 00:41:00,975 --> 00:41:03,686 And I was. Oh, jeez. It's probably still in the van. 911 00:41:03,770 --> 00:41:05,897 Well, no point getting it now. There's nothing to put it in. 912 00:41:05,980 --> 00:41:06,873 I'll take it. 913 00:41:07,356 --> 00:41:09,692 [boy] What's a piñata without candy? 914 00:41:13,571 --> 00:41:14,948 [inaudible] 915 00:41:20,681 --> 00:41:23,768 So, aside from the fact that he don't know how to shave, 916 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,000 I am kind of happy you have a man around. 917 00:41:27,043 --> 00:41:28,502 Does he give you advice about girls and stuff? 918 00:41:28,586 --> 00:41:31,255 His advice about girls was... 919 00:41:31,339 --> 00:41:32,506 "Wait until marriage." 920 00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:34,550 Good Lord, one of those. 921 00:41:35,634 --> 00:41:36,886 Now, you want some real advice? 922 00:41:36,970 --> 00:41:39,472 From my second mom or my used-to-be dad? 923 00:41:39,938 --> 00:41:42,766 From former man to current man. 924 00:41:43,767 --> 00:41:47,188 Now, when I was your age, my dad told me, 925 00:41:47,292 --> 00:41:50,726 "Find a real insecure girl and practice on her. 926 00:41:51,369 --> 00:41:53,496 That way, when you meet a girl you really like, 927 00:41:53,652 --> 00:41:55,060 you'll be good at it." 928 00:41:55,695 --> 00:41:59,054 And you really wanna be a lady in a world where men do that? 929 00:42:00,493 --> 00:42:02,036 God help me, I do. 930 00:42:03,434 --> 00:42:04,998 And you're never tight again. 931 00:42:05,081 --> 00:42:07,853 I mean, you could work it back a little, but... 932 00:42:08,329 --> 00:42:10,837 it's never the same after you've torn that shit up. 933 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:13,131 And you'll always pee yourself a little when you sneeze, 934 00:42:13,214 --> 00:42:14,798 and you never really sleep again. 935 00:42:16,092 --> 00:42:17,676 You got anything good to say about it? 936 00:42:17,961 --> 00:42:19,588 I just want you to be prepared. 937 00:42:20,763 --> 00:42:23,182 I mean, it's not all bad. You end up with a baby. 938 00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:25,143 It just ruins your life is all. 939 00:42:26,895 --> 00:42:28,146 You sayin' I ruined your life? 940 00:42:28,229 --> 00:42:29,517 Of course. 941 00:42:29,939 --> 00:42:31,941 The day you was born was the end. 942 00:42:33,109 --> 00:42:34,152 [sighs] 943 00:42:34,235 --> 00:42:36,195 She's just so perfect. 944 00:42:37,155 --> 00:42:38,197 [baby Dayanara coos] 945 00:42:38,281 --> 00:42:42,563 How could anythin' be bad... if we made somethin' like this? 946 00:42:45,204 --> 00:42:47,456 - [baby Dayanara fussing] - [shushing] 947 00:42:50,293 --> 00:42:53,207 Anyone seen what's-her-name, the little one? 948 00:42:53,671 --> 00:42:55,059 She was getting me punch. 949 00:42:55,196 --> 00:42:56,724 I haven't seen her for a while. 950 00:42:58,134 --> 00:42:59,385 Go look for your sister. 951 00:43:00,536 --> 00:43:01,872 Lucy? 952 00:43:04,726 --> 00:43:05,769 Lucy! 953 00:43:06,037 --> 00:43:07,643 Go look for your sister. 954 00:43:10,521 --> 00:43:12,856 Now, this is nice. Mmm. 955 00:43:12,941 --> 00:43:14,692 This makes me happy. 956 00:43:16,235 --> 00:43:17,361 Happy Mother's Day, Ma. 957 00:43:17,445 --> 00:43:19,113 Happy Mother's Day. 958 00:43:19,197 --> 00:43:20,281 [speaking Russian] Your head. 959 00:43:20,364 --> 00:43:21,824 Your beautiful face. 960 00:43:21,908 --> 00:43:25,036 Yes. Well, now it's interesting. 961 00:43:25,119 --> 00:43:29,415 [speaking English] Ma... so, you ready for things to get goin' again? 962 00:43:30,166 --> 00:43:31,934 [whispers] I got a brand new LED headlamp. 963 00:43:32,793 --> 00:43:34,878 I think we're going to take a little break, darling. 964 00:43:35,606 --> 00:43:37,090 Actually, a long one. 965 00:43:37,974 --> 00:43:40,018 It's too much to think about. 966 00:43:40,426 --> 00:43:43,517 I need to think about the future, getting out, 967 00:43:43,625 --> 00:43:45,974 getting back to my life, my home... 968 00:43:46,315 --> 00:43:47,350 the market. 969 00:43:51,312 --> 00:43:52,771 I need to look forward. 970 00:43:52,855 --> 00:43:53,940 Yeah. 971 00:43:56,943 --> 00:43:58,777 Who's minding the store today? 972 00:43:58,861 --> 00:44:00,113 [scoffs] What you mean, Ma? 973 00:44:00,196 --> 00:44:02,240 [chuckles] What I mean is, it's Mother's Day. 974 00:44:02,323 --> 00:44:04,117 That's always been a big day for us. 975 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,327 Platters, baskets... 976 00:44:06,410 --> 00:44:08,704 [speaking Russian] We closed for today. 977 00:44:08,787 --> 00:44:10,623 Came to see you instead. 978 00:44:11,433 --> 00:44:13,167 [speaking English] We can afford to do that? 979 00:44:13,251 --> 00:44:14,296 Yeah. 980 00:44:15,044 --> 00:44:17,546 [speaking Russian] It's fine. It's okay. 981 00:44:22,260 --> 00:44:23,761 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. What's goin' on? 982 00:44:23,844 --> 00:44:24,928 Lucy's missing. 983 00:44:25,013 --> 00:44:26,180 - Oh, Jesus. - Oh. 984 00:44:26,264 --> 00:44:27,848 No, stop. What are you doing? 985 00:44:27,931 --> 00:44:28,975 I gotta call it in. 986 00:44:29,058 --> 00:44:30,184 If you call it in, they're gonna pull the alarm. 987 00:44:30,268 --> 00:44:32,811 The day's over for everybody. She's here someplace. 988 00:44:32,895 --> 00:44:35,023 - Let me look a little more. - [sighs] 989 00:44:35,106 --> 00:44:37,566 Okay, look, 20 minutes, okay? And then I gotta call it in. 990 00:44:37,650 --> 00:44:38,734 All right. 991 00:44:40,319 --> 00:44:41,362 [Pennsatucky] In the name of Jesus, 992 00:44:41,445 --> 00:44:43,447 I ask that the souls of my unborn babies 993 00:44:43,531 --> 00:44:46,742 be considered to enter the Holy Kingdom, 994 00:44:46,825 --> 00:44:49,620 even though they never had a chance to get baptized 995 00:44:49,703 --> 00:44:50,913 'cause I was wicked 996 00:44:51,914 --> 00:44:53,291 and I got 'em sucked out... 997 00:44:54,625 --> 00:44:56,001 'cause I was weak... 998 00:44:57,086 --> 00:44:58,421 and I didn't know any better. 999 00:44:59,755 --> 00:45:01,299 And I'm sorry. 1000 00:45:02,675 --> 00:45:03,967 [sniffles] 1001 00:45:05,969 --> 00:45:09,104 I'm sorry that I never got to be your mama. 1002 00:45:09,106 --> 00:45:11,845 Little Blake and Bonnie... 1003 00:45:13,102 --> 00:45:15,673 Boyd, Bethany... 1004 00:45:16,980 --> 00:45:17,981 Braeden... 1005 00:45:19,775 --> 00:45:21,610 and even you, little Buddy Jr. 1006 00:45:22,778 --> 00:45:24,988 I see we're fond of the "B" names. 1007 00:45:26,449 --> 00:45:27,825 Yeah, I always liked that letter. 1008 00:45:29,034 --> 00:45:31,454 It's like a whole little graveyard here. 1009 00:45:32,830 --> 00:45:34,748 Yeah, these are all my unborn babies. 1010 00:45:34,832 --> 00:45:35,830 Ooh. 1011 00:45:36,334 --> 00:45:39,712 ♪ She got the Mother's Day blues ♪ 1012 00:45:41,589 --> 00:45:43,341 Jesus, you look like the Angel of Death. 1013 00:45:43,424 --> 00:45:44,550 I get that a lot. 1014 00:45:45,843 --> 00:45:48,096 Yeah, I'm goin' to hell. I know it. 1015 00:45:48,179 --> 00:45:49,930 I mean, even though I was saved and everything, 1016 00:45:50,013 --> 00:45:51,432 I just... 1017 00:45:51,515 --> 00:45:54,059 They never even had a chance, you know? 1018 00:45:54,143 --> 00:45:56,562 Son, you gotta let go of that shit. 1019 00:45:56,865 --> 00:45:58,021 It's easy for you to say. 1020 00:45:58,106 --> 00:46:00,649 I'm guessing you ain't never had to abort nobody. 1021 00:46:00,733 --> 00:46:02,318 A bold assumption. 1022 00:46:03,736 --> 00:46:06,905 You ever read a book called Freakonomics? 1023 00:46:06,930 --> 00:46:08,057 No. 1024 00:46:08,317 --> 00:46:10,576 What's it about, bearded ladies and midgets? 1025 00:46:10,578 --> 00:46:14,041 Close. It's about economic theory, cause and effect. 1026 00:46:15,206 --> 00:46:16,290 Sounds boring. 1027 00:46:16,374 --> 00:46:18,313 Mmm. It's actually a pretty good read. 1028 00:46:18,933 --> 00:46:20,628 They have this chapter in it, 1029 00:46:20,711 --> 00:46:22,630 "Where Have All the Criminals Gone?" 1030 00:46:24,215 --> 00:46:25,424 Over there in that field. 1031 00:46:25,508 --> 00:46:26,925 [chuckles] 1032 00:46:27,009 --> 00:46:29,052 You know, in the 1990s, 1033 00:46:29,137 --> 00:46:31,764 crime fell spectacularly, 1034 00:46:31,847 --> 00:46:35,254 and this book attributes that to the passing of Roe v. Wade. 1035 00:46:35,518 --> 00:46:37,145 The Darkness of '73. 1036 00:46:37,228 --> 00:46:39,688 The exact opposite, actually. 1037 00:46:39,772 --> 00:46:42,441 I mean, the abortions that occurred after Roe v. Wade... 1038 00:46:42,525 --> 00:46:44,402 These were children that weren't wanted. 1039 00:46:44,485 --> 00:46:47,613 Children who, if their mothers had been forced to have them, 1040 00:46:47,696 --> 00:46:50,616 would've grown up poor and neglected and abused, 1041 00:46:50,699 --> 00:46:54,787 the three most important ingredients when one is making a felon. 1042 00:46:54,870 --> 00:46:56,539 But they were never born. 1043 00:46:56,622 --> 00:46:58,081 So, 20 years later, 1044 00:46:58,166 --> 00:47:01,126 when they would've been of prime crime age, 1045 00:47:01,210 --> 00:47:02,628 they weren't there. 1046 00:47:02,711 --> 00:47:04,630 And the crime rate... [scoffs] 1047 00:47:04,713 --> 00:47:06,590 Dropped dramatically. 1048 00:47:06,674 --> 00:47:08,717 - What's your point? - Well, my point is that 1049 00:47:08,801 --> 00:47:11,429 you were a meth-head, white-trash piece of shit, 1050 00:47:11,512 --> 00:47:12,846 and your children, had they been born, 1051 00:47:12,930 --> 00:47:15,308 would have been meth-head, white-trash pieces of shit. 1052 00:47:15,391 --> 00:47:17,476 So by terminating those pregnancies, 1053 00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:21,605 you spared society the scourge of your offspring. 1054 00:47:21,689 --> 00:47:24,650 I mean, when you think about it, it's... a blessing. 1055 00:47:25,693 --> 00:47:28,153 Never thought about it that way. 1056 00:47:28,237 --> 00:47:29,905 Well, maybe you should, hmm? 1057 00:47:29,988 --> 00:47:31,782 Maybe you should stop punishing yourself. 1058 00:47:31,865 --> 00:47:33,576 I mean, what does a good mother do? 1059 00:47:33,659 --> 00:47:36,078 A good mother does what's best for her children. 1060 00:47:36,161 --> 00:47:38,497 And maybe what was best for your children 1061 00:47:38,581 --> 00:47:41,792 was wipin' 'em out before they had to lead miserable fucking lives. 1062 00:47:46,297 --> 00:47:47,465 Yeah. 1063 00:47:47,548 --> 00:47:49,007 Maybe. 1064 00:47:49,009 --> 00:47:51,009 It makes me feel a little better, actually. 1065 00:47:51,093 --> 00:47:52,386 [chuckles] 1066 00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:54,597 Good, then I've done my job. 1067 00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,987 - "Clown cheers crowd." - [chuckling] 1068 00:48:00,436 --> 00:48:01,437 [softly] Lucy? 1069 00:48:02,813 --> 00:48:03,814 Lucy! 1070 00:48:04,857 --> 00:48:06,609 Where the fuck are you? 1071 00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:15,826 - [alarm buzzes] - [sighs] 1072 00:48:15,909 --> 00:48:18,592 Motherfuckers. They couldn't wait? 1073 00:48:24,335 --> 00:48:26,337 I want to stay with Daya. 1074 00:48:26,420 --> 00:48:28,213 You're in so much fucking trouble. 1075 00:48:28,297 --> 00:48:29,757 [guard 1] Everybody, on the ground! 1076 00:48:31,259 --> 00:48:32,385 [guard 2] Get down! Right where you are! 1077 00:48:32,468 --> 00:48:34,052 - [kid sobbing] - [guard 3] Get down on the ground! 1078 00:48:34,136 --> 00:48:35,388 [Black Cindy grunts] 1079 00:48:35,471 --> 00:48:37,097 - [guard 1] Get down! - [girl 1] Mommy, get up! 1080 00:48:37,973 --> 00:48:40,225 [guard 4] Everyone out of those porta-potties now! 1081 00:48:40,309 --> 00:48:41,310 [Nicky] Fuck. 1082 00:48:42,311 --> 00:48:43,479 We're on our way. 1083 00:48:43,562 --> 00:48:46,231 - [girl 1] Mommy, get up! - [girl 2] Do I get on the ground? 1084 00:48:46,315 --> 00:48:48,401 - Mama, what's happening? Get up. - It's okay. Mommy's fine. 1085 00:48:48,484 --> 00:48:50,736 - [girl 3] Is everything okay? - [guard 1] Stay down until we tell you! 1086 00:48:50,819 --> 00:48:52,154 [girl 4 whimpering] 1087 00:48:53,364 --> 00:48:54,657 [sobbing] 1088 00:49:02,290 --> 00:49:03,874 [Maria sighs] 1089 00:49:04,442 --> 00:49:05,443 Good day? 1090 00:49:05,445 --> 00:49:06,654 So good. 1091 00:49:07,961 --> 00:49:10,339 Yads, thank you for bringing her. 1092 00:49:11,059 --> 00:49:13,634 Okay, all right, mami. 1093 00:49:13,950 --> 00:49:15,886 I'll see you next week. 1094 00:49:16,970 --> 00:49:18,138 I don't think so. 1095 00:49:18,221 --> 00:49:19,848 "I don't think so"? What do you mean, "I don't think so"? 1096 00:49:19,932 --> 00:49:22,851 She's getting bigger. She's startin' to understand things. 1097 00:49:23,498 --> 00:49:24,371 I've been reading... 1098 00:49:25,597 --> 00:49:26,853 I don't want her seeing her mother in prison, 1099 00:49:26,855 --> 00:49:28,023 thinkin' this is normal. 1100 00:49:30,233 --> 00:49:31,777 It's best we cut this off right now. 1101 00:49:31,860 --> 00:49:32,945 What are you talkin' about? 1102 00:49:33,487 --> 00:49:35,614 Ruiz, you move it along. 1103 00:49:35,698 --> 00:49:37,157 What do you mean, "Cut this off"? 1104 00:49:37,438 --> 00:49:39,034 - You gonna walk away from me? - Sorry, Maria. 1105 00:49:39,117 --> 00:49:40,703 What, I don't have a choice in this? 1106 00:49:40,786 --> 00:49:42,496 Yadri... Wait! Wait! 1107 00:49:42,580 --> 00:49:43,581 Yadriel! 1108 00:49:43,664 --> 00:49:46,334 Yadriel! Yadriel! Coño! 1109 00:49:46,417 --> 00:49:47,585 Yadriel! [gasping] 1110 00:49:47,668 --> 00:49:49,795 Oh, my... Fuck! 1111 00:49:49,878 --> 00:49:51,171 [gasps] 1112 00:50:00,973 --> 00:50:02,641 [folk-pop music playing] 1113 00:50:41,707 --> 00:50:45,046 _ 1114 00:50:53,275 --> 00:50:56,361 [music continues playing] 1115 00:50:56,362 --> 00:50:58,362 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 1115 00:50:59,305 --> 00:51:59,542 Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV www.flixify.app