1 00:00:05,681 --> 00:00:07,557 - This way. - Okay, let's go. 2 00:00:07,727 --> 00:00:11,478 - Yeah, what about us? - Let us out of here. 3 00:00:12,986 --> 00:00:14,779 Come with me. 4 00:00:19,247 --> 00:00:21,241 How does the other guy look, lieutenant? 5 00:00:21,418 --> 00:00:22,532 Major. 6 00:00:25,049 --> 00:00:28,052 - She doesn't look as bad as he does. - She? 7 00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:30,548 - It's a long story, ma'am. - Well, it better be a good one. 8 00:00:30,725 --> 00:00:31,805 And what's your excuse? 9 00:00:31,978 --> 00:00:34,814 Well, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. 10 00:00:35,275 --> 00:00:37,186 Bud, you're getting married in a few hours. 11 00:00:37,362 --> 00:00:40,568 I really appreciate you coming down here, major. I owe you one. 12 00:00:40,743 --> 00:00:42,986 One? You two owe me a million. 13 00:00:43,164 --> 00:00:46,120 Do you have any idea what the admiral is gonna say when he hears this? 14 00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:50,247 Oh, I think he'll understand. 15 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:04,115 Following in his father's footsteps as a Naval aviator, 16 00:01:04,284 --> 00:01:06,279 Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. 17 00:01:06,455 --> 00:01:08,745 Suffered a crash while landing his Tomcat 18 00:01:08,917 --> 00:01:11,292 on a storm-tossed carrier at sea. 19 00:01:11,464 --> 00:01:13,208 Diagnosed with night blindness, 20 00:01:13,383 --> 00:01:16,422 Harm transferred to the Navy's Judge Advocate General Corps, 21 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:20,645 which investigates, defends and prosecutes the law of the sea. 22 00:01:20,813 --> 00:01:23,852 There, with fellow JAG lawyer Major Sarah MacKenzie, 23 00:01:24,027 --> 00:01:26,151 he now fights in and out of the courtroom 24 00:01:26,322 --> 00:01:31,914 with the same daring and tenacity that made him a top gun in the air. 25 00:02:25,593 --> 00:02:27,635 I can't believe they detained you, admiral. 26 00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:30,341 - That makes two of us. - Have you seen Harriet, ma'am? 27 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,062 I need to explain to her what happened. 28 00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:33,429 I'd skip the explanation, Bud, 29 00:02:33,608 --> 00:02:35,269 and throw myself on the mercy of the court. 30 00:02:35,444 --> 00:02:38,019 - What exactly happened? - I have no idea. 31 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:41,286 I think it started a couple of days ago when Rabb made the headlines. 32 00:02:41,455 --> 00:02:44,244 Believe me, admiral, it wasn't me. 33 00:02:44,418 --> 00:02:46,044 "A Naval Aviator ran amok 34 00:02:47,424 --> 00:02:49,382 at Washington's ultra hip club Vertigo last night. 35 00:02:49,552 --> 00:02:51,630 Bringing new meaning to the old song, 36 00:02:51,806 --> 00:02:54,763 'What do you do with a drunken sailor? ' 37 00:02:54,937 --> 00:02:58,889 The dashing top gun was last seen mooning police officers 38 00:03:00,822 --> 00:03:03,493 before disappearing into the night in full afterburner." 39 00:03:09,378 --> 00:03:10,922 What are you guys looking at me for? 40 00:03:11,716 --> 00:03:14,470 You're the only lieutenant commander I know with wings 41 00:03:14,638 --> 00:03:16,881 and JAG insignia on the shoulder boards. 42 00:03:17,059 --> 00:03:19,219 It does kind of look like you, Harm. 43 00:03:19,396 --> 00:03:20,857 What do you think, Carolyn? 44 00:03:21,025 --> 00:03:23,897 Oh, guilty as charged. 45 00:03:25,156 --> 00:03:26,486 It wasn't me, admiral. 46 00:03:26,659 --> 00:03:28,403 For one thing, I was here with the lieutenant 47 00:03:28,579 --> 00:03:31,701 until 2230 last night working on the Holbarth case. 48 00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:32,909 He was, sir. 49 00:03:33,921 --> 00:03:36,379 Yeah, and I don't even have my dress whites at the moment. 50 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,380 They're at the cleaners. 51 00:03:40,558 --> 00:03:41,757 Harm Rabb. 52 00:03:41,935 --> 00:03:43,977 R-A-B-B. 53 00:03:44,148 --> 00:03:46,107 I don't see your name, Ham. 54 00:03:46,528 --> 00:03:48,355 - Harm. - Ham. 55 00:03:49,908 --> 00:03:52,580 I've been bringing my uniforms here for three years, Mr. Marvel. 56 00:03:52,747 --> 00:03:54,824 Then you should be in the computer. 57 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,496 Maybe they are under your wife's name? 58 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:57,750 I'm not married. 59 00:03:58,590 --> 00:04:00,133 Neela. 60 00:04:01,303 --> 00:04:06,098 This handsome young man who is very single has lost his uniform. 61 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:11,441 No, I didn't lose my uniform. 62 00:04:11,613 --> 00:04:13,523 You lost my uniform, sir. 63 00:04:13,699 --> 00:04:15,943 - Do you have a ticket? - No. 64 00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:17,782 Why do you think we give you a ticket? 65 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,628 It's Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb. 66 00:04:20,795 --> 00:04:24,963 - Service dress white naval uniform. - My daughter works too hard. 67 00:04:25,136 --> 00:04:26,548 I keep saying she should go out more. 68 00:04:26,722 --> 00:04:29,132 She's young. She should have some more fun. 69 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,343 What do you think, Ham? 70 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,930 I think that you should find my uniform, sir. 71 00:04:33,109 --> 00:04:35,352 I have a wedding on Saturday. 72 00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:38,194 Nine sixty-five. Next time bring your ticket. 73 00:04:38,827 --> 00:04:41,237 - This is not my uniform. - Oh, yes it is. 74 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:42,745 Naval dress white uniform. 75 00:04:42,918 --> 00:04:45,671 These are Ensign bars. This is not my uniform. 76 00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:48,629 Look. 77 00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:53,387 What's wrong with this picture? 78 00:04:54,187 --> 00:04:56,229 I can do alterations. 79 00:05:00,448 --> 00:05:02,407 Bud, are you ready to go over that Crothers file? 80 00:05:02,578 --> 00:05:04,737 Yes, ma'am. 81 00:05:04,914 --> 00:05:07,039 - Is this part of the Crothers file? - No, no. 82 00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:10,498 That's a personal file I'm just gonna get rid of. 83 00:05:12,344 --> 00:05:13,376 Are you okay, Bud? 84 00:05:13,555 --> 00:05:15,846 I'm fine, ma'am. I'm just a little nervous. 85 00:05:16,018 --> 00:05:17,477 You know, first case and all. 86 00:05:17,645 --> 00:05:19,438 It couldn't have anything to do with the fact 87 00:05:19,607 --> 00:05:21,233 that you're getting married in three days, 88 00:05:21,402 --> 00:05:22,945 two hours and 36 minutes? 89 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,993 May I? 90 00:05:30,918 --> 00:05:31,999 Is this you? 91 00:05:32,171 --> 00:05:36,966 Yeah. I wanted to be a cowboy when I grew up. 92 00:05:37,138 --> 00:05:38,966 What is all this? 93 00:05:39,141 --> 00:05:40,601 It's just my future file. 94 00:05:40,769 --> 00:05:43,309 Pictures of stuff that I wanted to do in life. 95 00:05:43,774 --> 00:05:45,270 You wanted to be a rabbi? 96 00:05:45,444 --> 00:05:47,984 I wanted to go to the Holy Land. 97 00:05:49,284 --> 00:05:51,528 Cruise across America. 98 00:05:54,711 --> 00:05:59,043 I guess I don't need that now that I have Harriet. 99 00:05:59,928 --> 00:06:03,880 So why are you throwing it all away? 100 00:06:04,686 --> 00:06:07,559 I'm probably not gonna get a chance to do any of it 101 00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:09,014 now that I'm getting married. 102 00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,357 Why not? 103 00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:12,191 Marriage isn't about losing your freedom, 104 00:06:12,366 --> 00:06:15,322 despite what you may have been told by JAG's bachelor brigade. 105 00:06:15,496 --> 00:06:20,246 Being married is about having someone to share your dreams with. 106 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:22,380 I know Harriet loves to travel. 107 00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:25,887 And I bet she'd look pretty hot on the back of a motorcycle. 108 00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:28,594 Yeah. 109 00:06:29,062 --> 00:06:31,900 - Thanks, major. - You're welcome. 110 00:06:33,070 --> 00:06:37,533 Oh, but you might have to give up the swimsuit model. 111 00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,574 Right. 112 00:06:46,259 --> 00:06:49,132 You've been blessed with the Beaumont cleavage. 113 00:06:49,306 --> 00:06:51,466 It's a crime to hide it. 114 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:54,101 Mother, I want something old-fashioned. 115 00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:57,111 This is a wedding, Harriet. Not an antique show. 116 00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:58,691 Now turn around, darling. Let me see. 117 00:06:58,865 --> 00:07:02,117 It's her wedding. And she knows what she wants. 118 00:07:02,287 --> 00:07:05,456 - She has since she was 6. - And look where it's got her. 119 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:06,872 Mother. 120 00:07:07,045 --> 00:07:09,254 I like the one you tried on first, honey. 121 00:07:09,425 --> 00:07:11,503 Why do you always agree with Harriet? 122 00:07:11,679 --> 00:07:14,005 Just once I would like for you to agree with me. 123 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:17,021 I agree with you, Lydia, when you're right. 124 00:07:17,189 --> 00:07:18,268 Thank you, Dad. 125 00:07:18,857 --> 00:07:22,693 I am just trying to keep her from making any more mistakes. 126 00:07:22,865 --> 00:07:24,444 And what was my first mistake, Mother? 127 00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:28,240 Never marry a man named after a dog. 128 00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:29,532 Dad! 129 00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:33,297 In Roth v. Higgins, it defines the elements for desertion. 130 00:07:33,467 --> 00:07:36,256 I think it really gives us something to go on. 131 00:07:36,765 --> 00:07:38,723 Have you considered going for the lesser charge? 132 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,638 - Unauthorised absence? - Yes. 133 00:07:40,813 --> 00:07:43,104 Major, I have an iron-clad case. 134 00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:46,445 The penalties are almost the same, Bud, and it's easier to prove. 135 00:07:47,492 --> 00:07:48,572 You don't think I can do it. 136 00:07:48,744 --> 00:07:50,702 Bud, Harm and I were the ones who told the admiral 137 00:07:50,872 --> 00:07:52,665 that you were ready to be trial counsel. 138 00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:54,116 Maybe you were just being nice. 139 00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:58,333 Okay, let's go for desertion. What have you got? 140 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:05,265 I have all the elements to prove intent to shirk important service. 141 00:08:06,608 --> 00:08:08,650 Seaman Crothers was assigned to garbage duty 142 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,481 when he absented himself without authority. 143 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:11,903 Well, it's my intent to argue 144 00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:14,996 that all service is important service no matter how trivial. 145 00:08:22,511 --> 00:08:24,636 - Sir, did you find your uniform? - No. 146 00:08:24,807 --> 00:08:26,848 Sir, the wedding's in three days. 147 00:08:27,019 --> 00:08:28,894 - I know, Bud. - And you're my best man. 148 00:08:29,064 --> 00:08:30,857 - Bud... - Sir, it's a military ceremony. 149 00:08:31,026 --> 00:08:33,519 If you're not wearing dress whites, I don't know if you can go. 150 00:08:33,698 --> 00:08:35,775 Lieutenant! Relax. 151 00:08:37,036 --> 00:08:38,283 I'll have my dress whites. 152 00:08:40,877 --> 00:08:44,664 Everything will run like clockwork. It's all gonna be fine. 153 00:08:44,842 --> 00:08:47,845 I'm sorry, sir. I'm just not acting like I usually do. 154 00:08:48,014 --> 00:08:49,046 Yeah, you are. 155 00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:50,886 It's natural for the groom to be nervous. 156 00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:52,723 But you've got nothing to be worried about. 157 00:08:52,898 --> 00:08:55,224 Harriet's got this wedding planned better than Desert Storm. 158 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,601 What could go wrong? 159 00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,192 Buddy! 160 00:09:01,078 --> 00:09:02,325 Dad, please! 161 00:09:02,915 --> 00:09:03,947 Hey, Bud. 162 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:08,422 Mikey, look at you. You've grown, little brother. 163 00:09:08,592 --> 00:09:09,921 - You too. - Look at you. 164 00:09:10,095 --> 00:09:11,175 Hey, hey, hey. 165 00:09:11,347 --> 00:09:13,804 Are you gonna introduce your father or do I have to do it? 166 00:09:14,310 --> 00:09:16,684 Lieutenant Commander Rabb, Major MacKenzie, this is my... 167 00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:19,017 Buddy's old man. 168 00:09:19,194 --> 00:09:23,277 Master Chief Roberts, USN. Retired. 169 00:09:23,451 --> 00:09:26,454 - Well, it's nice to meet you, sir. - I've heard a lot about you. 170 00:09:26,623 --> 00:09:28,499 And you too, major. 171 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:32,800 Too bad about your guy getting shot, but the world's gone all to hell. 172 00:09:34,178 --> 00:09:35,888 Nice to meet you, master chief. 173 00:09:36,057 --> 00:09:38,515 Hey, let's not stand on formality. 174 00:09:38,687 --> 00:09:41,892 My friends call me Bud. Big Bud. 175 00:09:42,443 --> 00:09:44,484 And this is my brother, Mikey. 176 00:09:44,656 --> 00:09:45,687 Sir, ma'am. 177 00:09:45,865 --> 00:09:48,406 - Shake hands while you can. - Sorry, sir. 178 00:09:48,996 --> 00:09:51,074 - You won't be able to once you enlist. - Yeah. 179 00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:56,043 So where is Henrietta? 180 00:09:56,217 --> 00:09:58,924 Harriet. She's getting her wedding dress altered. 181 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,938 Taken in or taken out? 182 00:10:04,857 --> 00:10:06,816 Hey, this isn't a shotgun wedding, is it? 183 00:10:06,986 --> 00:10:08,897 No. 184 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:12,240 I just wondered if you took after your old man, son. 185 00:10:27,313 --> 00:10:30,400 - I'm kidding. - It's not funny, Dad. 186 00:10:31,946 --> 00:10:34,820 So, Mikey, your brother tells us you're going to art school. 187 00:10:34,994 --> 00:10:36,275 Well, I hope to, sir. 188 00:10:36,455 --> 00:10:38,413 The Navy taught me all I ever needed to know 189 00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:40,661 and it'll do the same for you. 190 00:10:40,837 --> 00:10:42,297 Bud, we have a witness to interview. 191 00:10:42,465 --> 00:10:45,801 - Bud's trying his first case tomorrow. - I'm prosecuting. 192 00:10:45,971 --> 00:10:47,301 You're no lawyer. 193 00:10:47,474 --> 00:10:50,049 Any commissioned officer is qualified to prosecute 194 00:10:50,228 --> 00:10:52,104 in a special court-martial, master chief. 195 00:10:52,274 --> 00:10:54,981 Especially since Bud passed his mid-year law finals with honours. 196 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,157 Well, I guess it's... 197 00:10:58,326 --> 00:11:00,784 Prosecuting is a lot easier than defending, huh? 198 00:11:00,956 --> 00:11:02,499 I guess we'd better get going, major. 199 00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:05,583 - Mikey, it was great seeing you. - Hey, will I get to see you later? 200 00:11:05,756 --> 00:11:08,130 - Absolutely. - Maybe you will, maybe you won't. 201 00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:11,555 I'm taking Mikey down to Norfolk to show him what the real Navy is like. 202 00:11:11,725 --> 00:11:14,182 - In fact, I may enlist him. - No, you won't, Dad. 203 00:11:15,397 --> 00:11:17,475 Yeah? Why not? 204 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,901 Because I'm in the wedding, right, Bud? 205 00:11:22,201 --> 00:11:23,281 Right. 206 00:11:25,499 --> 00:11:27,160 Nice to meet you, master chief. 207 00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:30,713 That's what they all say, major. 208 00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:37,976 That reminds me, 209 00:11:38,355 --> 00:11:41,393 Friday night, I'm throwing this little bon voyage party for Buddy. 210 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,230 A couple of my ex-shipmates will be there 211 00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:46,362 and I'd like to invite you and Admiral Chugawagon. 212 00:11:46,536 --> 00:11:47,995 - Chegwidden. - Yeah. 213 00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:49,362 Well, I'd be delighted to come. 214 00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:52,034 Thank you, sir. I'm sure the admiral would too. 215 00:11:52,213 --> 00:11:54,372 It's gonna be one of those old-fashioned 216 00:11:54,549 --> 00:11:58,135 crossing-the-line type ceremonies, you know? 217 00:11:58,849 --> 00:12:00,843 You have crossed the line, haven't you, commander? 218 00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:02,431 Only the equator, sir. 219 00:12:09,075 --> 00:12:10,357 This is not my uniform. 220 00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:12,116 One forty-seven. 221 00:12:12,707 --> 00:12:14,582 One forty-seven. This is your uniform. 222 00:12:14,752 --> 00:12:17,791 This is a police uniform. Mine are Navy dress whites. 223 00:12:17,966 --> 00:12:19,082 I'm a JAG lawyer. 224 00:12:19,259 --> 00:12:21,669 My brother-in-law is the Johnnie Cochran of Calcutta. 225 00:12:21,848 --> 00:12:23,391 So, don't threaten me, Ham. 226 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:27,646 I'm not threatening you, Mr. Marvel. I just want my uniform. 227 00:12:28,651 --> 00:12:30,313 Look, this belongs to Joe Garvey. 228 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:34,073 I'm sure he probably has my uniform. Do you have an address on this guy? 229 00:12:34,244 --> 00:12:36,868 Yeah, he's a good customer. He's in the computer. 230 00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:40,079 - Give me his address. - Can't do that. 231 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,804 Okay, Ham. For you, I'll make an exception. 232 00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:50,308 Thank you. 233 00:12:50,482 --> 00:12:53,354 Don't thank me. Thank my daughter when you take her out to dinner. 234 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,916 Are you ready, Lieutenant Roberts? 235 00:13:01,334 --> 00:13:02,913 Yes, sir. I am. 236 00:13:03,087 --> 00:13:05,045 You may call your first witness. 237 00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:06,877 Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. 238 00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:09,545 The government calls Edward Granger to the stand. 239 00:13:09,724 --> 00:13:13,771 - Mr. Granger, you own Metro Fuel? - Yes. 240 00:13:13,939 --> 00:13:16,563 And you hired Robert Crothers as a mechanic? 241 00:13:16,736 --> 00:13:17,815 Yes. 242 00:13:17,987 --> 00:13:21,075 When Robert Crothers filled out his employment application, 243 00:13:21,244 --> 00:13:23,866 did he tell you that he was a seaman in the United States Navy? 244 00:13:25,042 --> 00:13:26,621 - No. - Thank you, sir. 245 00:13:26,795 --> 00:13:28,920 - That will be all. - Robby's a good worker. 246 00:13:29,925 --> 00:13:33,796 Your Honour, the government has no further questions. 247 00:13:34,225 --> 00:13:37,097 Well, I don't think it's fair that you don't let me tell the whole story. 248 00:13:37,271 --> 00:13:40,441 I'm going to give you that chance, sir. 249 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,443 Mr. Granger, you say that Mr. Crothers was a good worker... 250 00:13:47,248 --> 00:13:48,280 - Ensign? - Yes, sir. 251 00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:51,212 - Can I speak to you for one second? - Speak away. 252 00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:53,955 - Classified, sir. - Classified? 253 00:13:54,135 --> 00:13:57,720 - Operation Clove Hitch. - Clove Hitch? 254 00:13:57,891 --> 00:13:59,969 Tying the knot, sir. 255 00:14:00,980 --> 00:14:03,389 - That will be all, Tiner. - Aye, sir. 256 00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:05,194 Ensign? 257 00:14:05,363 --> 00:14:07,024 Ma'am, do you own an apartment building 258 00:14:07,199 --> 00:14:08,659 at 567th Street? 259 00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:09,859 Yes. 260 00:14:10,037 --> 00:14:12,365 And is Robert Crothers a tenant at that address? 261 00:14:12,542 --> 00:14:13,954 Yes, he is. 262 00:14:14,128 --> 00:14:16,668 - For how long? - Nine years. 263 00:14:16,841 --> 00:14:19,845 And about how far away from this apartment building 264 00:14:20,014 --> 00:14:22,553 is Andrews Air Force Base? 265 00:14:22,977 --> 00:14:25,018 About six minutes by car. 266 00:14:25,189 --> 00:14:27,184 Thank you, ma'am. No further questions. 267 00:14:27,359 --> 00:14:29,152 - That's all? - Yes, ma'am. 268 00:14:29,321 --> 00:14:32,693 - Robby is my best tenant. - Ma'am, thank you, that will be all. 269 00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:36,537 Your Honour, the government has no further questions. 270 00:14:41,843 --> 00:14:42,875 Yes? 271 00:14:43,054 --> 00:14:45,179 Undersecretary Jakowski's on line one, admiral. 272 00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:46,430 Take a message. 273 00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:48,809 He says it's about the Russel hearing, sir. 274 00:14:49,064 --> 00:14:51,391 Tell him I'll call him back in 15 minutes, Tiner. 275 00:14:51,569 --> 00:14:53,978 I'm right in the middle of something. 276 00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:05,623 I'd go with the salmon, the avocado and the pâté. 277 00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:08,758 - What about the caviar, sir? - Too ostentatious. 278 00:15:08,932 --> 00:15:11,473 Ensign, nobody really likes fish eggs. 279 00:15:13,899 --> 00:15:16,190 And get this away from me before I eat the whole thing. 280 00:15:18,491 --> 00:15:21,162 Thank you, sir. You don't know how much this means to me. 281 00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:22,361 Glad I could help. 282 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:23,916 If you ever get tired of the Navy, 283 00:15:24,084 --> 00:15:25,828 you could make a fortune as a wedding planner. 284 00:15:26,004 --> 00:15:28,793 Don't spread that around. I'd hate to have to kill you. 285 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,806 And that's when you pulled Seaman Crothers over? 286 00:15:34,978 --> 00:15:36,438 Yes. 287 00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:38,481 And before... 288 00:15:44,494 --> 00:15:46,869 Before you wrote Seaman Crothers a ticket 289 00:15:47,041 --> 00:15:49,831 for driving without a tail light, what did you do? 290 00:15:50,005 --> 00:15:53,423 I ran his name through the database to see if there were any warrants out. 291 00:15:53,594 --> 00:15:56,087 - That is standard procedure. - And what did you find? 292 00:15:56,266 --> 00:15:59,601 That there was an outstanding warrant for the seaman's arrest. 293 00:15:59,772 --> 00:16:01,018 Then what did you do? 294 00:16:01,191 --> 00:16:03,185 I placed him under arrest and advised of his rights. 295 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:06,733 Now, at any time did Seaman Crothers inform you 296 00:16:06,909 --> 00:16:09,118 that he was an unauthorised absentee from the Navy 297 00:16:09,289 --> 00:16:11,746 or that he was even a member of the United States Navy? 298 00:16:11,918 --> 00:16:13,199 No, he did not. 299 00:16:13,629 --> 00:16:16,170 Thank you, sir. That will be all. 300 00:16:19,932 --> 00:16:21,428 During the 10 years that he was absent, 301 00:16:21,602 --> 00:16:24,308 Seaman Crothers did not attempt to turn himself in, 302 00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:27,734 even though he lived six minutes away from a military facility. 303 00:16:27,905 --> 00:16:29,613 He did not reveal that he was in the service 304 00:16:29,782 --> 00:16:31,777 on his employment application. 305 00:16:31,953 --> 00:16:34,411 The only reason Seaman Crothers came forward now, 306 00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:36,457 was that he was arrested. 307 00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,918 Seaman Crothers is guilty of desertion 308 00:16:39,091 --> 00:16:42,509 under Article 85 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. 309 00:16:49,817 --> 00:16:51,361 All rise. 310 00:16:56,162 --> 00:16:58,287 Please be seated. 311 00:17:00,378 --> 00:17:03,464 Is the defence ready for judgement? 312 00:17:03,717 --> 00:17:05,129 We are, Your Honour. 313 00:17:08,976 --> 00:17:12,063 In the case of United States v. Seaman Robert Crothers, 314 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:15,069 United States Navy, we find the accused guilty of the charge 315 00:17:15,237 --> 00:17:18,157 and specification of desertion. 316 00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:20,072 Congratulations, counsellor. 317 00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:25,839 Mr. Roberts? 318 00:17:26,549 --> 00:17:27,580 Sir? 319 00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:32,139 The sentencing phase of the court-martial 320 00:17:32,309 --> 00:17:34,884 will begin tomorrow at 0900. 321 00:17:35,064 --> 00:17:37,853 And please leave your cheering section at home, lieutenant. 322 00:17:38,028 --> 00:17:40,781 This is a courtroom, not American Gladiators. 323 00:17:40,949 --> 00:17:43,621 Yes, Your Honour. Sorry, sir. 324 00:17:47,251 --> 00:17:49,044 Looked like Bud did a good job in there. 325 00:17:49,214 --> 00:17:50,246 He had a good teacher. 326 00:17:50,424 --> 00:17:53,427 And he probably got a few pointers from you too. 327 00:17:54,389 --> 00:17:55,719 Nothing changes. 328 00:17:55,892 --> 00:17:58,183 I never met an officer with a sense of humour. 329 00:17:58,355 --> 00:18:00,894 I thought you were taking Mikey over to Norfolk? 330 00:18:01,068 --> 00:18:02,480 And miss you playing Matlock? 331 00:18:02,654 --> 00:18:04,030 You did a really good job, Bud. 332 00:18:04,199 --> 00:18:06,406 - Mom would have been proud. - Proud of what? 333 00:18:06,577 --> 00:18:10,495 Screwing up some poor guy's life who isn't hurting anybody? 334 00:18:12,671 --> 00:18:15,628 - Don't listen to him, Bud. - Watch it. 335 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,800 So when are we gonna meet this girl of yours? 336 00:18:19,976 --> 00:18:21,804 Well, we're having dinner with her tonight. 337 00:18:21,979 --> 00:18:24,472 - How's my hair? - You got your mother's hair. 338 00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:26,811 But the Navy's gonna take care of all that. 339 00:18:26,988 --> 00:18:28,532 Cut it all off in boot. 340 00:18:30,536 --> 00:18:33,539 - It looks great, Mikey. - See you later, bro. 341 00:18:36,672 --> 00:18:38,167 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 342 00:18:38,341 --> 00:18:41,678 First time I told Bud about the birds and the bees, he cried. 343 00:18:41,848 --> 00:18:44,305 Thank God he was leaving to go into the Navy the next day 344 00:18:44,477 --> 00:18:45,889 and I didn't have to listen to him. 345 00:18:46,063 --> 00:18:47,440 He's just kidding. 346 00:18:47,608 --> 00:18:50,017 Buddy's never had much luck with the opposite sex. 347 00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:51,477 And you think Harriet has? 348 00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:54,826 Hey, I think he did a pretty good job. 349 00:18:54,996 --> 00:18:57,535 Thank you, Mikey. You're okay in my book. 350 00:18:57,708 --> 00:19:01,662 So, Rollo, I hear you have a yacht. 351 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:05,889 - Well, a small yacht. - It is not that small, Roland. 352 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:08,680 Big enough for Mikey and me to take a little shakedown cruise? 353 00:19:08,854 --> 00:19:11,262 - Dad... - Any time. 354 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:14,113 I'm gonna take you up on that, Roland. 355 00:19:14,906 --> 00:19:17,398 So what are your plans for the future, Michael? 356 00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:19,785 Well, my dad wants me to go into the Navy. 357 00:19:19,956 --> 00:19:22,959 Well, the Navy has always been very good for your family. 358 00:19:23,671 --> 00:19:24,952 What do you want to do, Mikey? 359 00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:32,977 You want to draw on the back of menus? 360 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,398 No, I want to be a cartoonist. 361 00:19:35,566 --> 00:19:37,894 Can you beat that? Cartoons. 362 00:19:38,071 --> 00:19:39,615 Can you make a living doing that? 363 00:19:39,783 --> 00:19:41,990 Oh, Charles Schulz, Scott Adams, and Gary Larson do. 364 00:19:42,161 --> 00:19:46,459 You need something steady to fall back on like welding. 365 00:19:46,628 --> 00:19:48,622 I think Mike should do what he wants to do. 366 00:19:49,549 --> 00:19:51,460 - Follow his bliss. - His bliss? 367 00:19:52,263 --> 00:19:53,723 I'll give him bliss. 368 00:19:53,891 --> 00:19:56,894 I'll blister his behind if he doesn't go into the Navy. 369 00:19:57,522 --> 00:19:59,267 - Oh, no, you're not, Dad. - Oh, yeah? 370 00:19:59,442 --> 00:20:02,113 What are you gonna do about it? Sue me? 371 00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:05,191 He just might. 372 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,617 I understand you won your first case today. 373 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:13,000 - Congratulations. - Thank you, sir. 374 00:20:21,355 --> 00:20:22,387 I'm sorry. 375 00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:25,439 No, I am sorry. My mother is completely out of control. 376 00:20:25,613 --> 00:20:28,901 Well, at least your dad isn't throwing you a bachelor party at a strip club. 377 00:20:29,077 --> 00:20:31,618 I know. Will you still marry me? 378 00:20:31,791 --> 00:20:35,292 If you back out on me now, I'm going to kill you. 379 00:20:36,799 --> 00:20:38,425 Dad, you've had too much to drink. 380 00:20:38,594 --> 00:20:40,386 What, are you telling me how to drive? 381 00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:42,466 You've had a lot to drink, let me drive. 382 00:20:42,643 --> 00:20:46,228 Yeah? Well, I think you should shut up and get in the car or you can walk. 383 00:20:59,798 --> 00:21:02,255 It was nice to meet your brother and your dad today. 384 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,587 The master chief's a real colourful guy. 385 00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:07,975 Yeah, he's colourful, all right. 386 00:21:08,146 --> 00:21:10,818 You spend enough time with him and you end up black and blue. 387 00:21:11,318 --> 00:21:12,647 He's abusive? 388 00:21:16,452 --> 00:21:17,698 Let's just put it this way. 389 00:21:17,871 --> 00:21:20,281 His idea of tough love is bouncing your head against the wall. 390 00:21:23,006 --> 00:21:24,465 If you feel this way about him, Bud, 391 00:21:24,633 --> 00:21:26,461 why did you invite him to your wedding? 392 00:21:26,637 --> 00:21:28,880 He's my dad. You know how it is. 393 00:21:30,267 --> 00:21:33,390 - Harriet thought he should be here. - Does Harriet know he's abusive? 394 00:21:33,565 --> 00:21:36,853 No. No, you can't tell something like that to your fiancée. 395 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,357 I think you might be wrong about that one, Bud. 396 00:21:39,534 --> 00:21:41,529 Abused kids become abusive parents. 397 00:21:41,705 --> 00:21:44,328 I'm afraid that she'll think that I'll want to hit our children. 398 00:21:44,501 --> 00:21:47,374 I think Harriet knows you a little better than that. 399 00:21:49,677 --> 00:21:51,220 Have you tried talking to him about it? 400 00:21:51,388 --> 00:21:56,517 He only talks about three things. The Navy, baseball and women. 401 00:21:58,651 --> 00:21:59,767 I'm worried about Mikey. 402 00:22:00,404 --> 00:22:02,694 Well, maybe it's time to take some action on this. 403 00:22:02,866 --> 00:22:04,243 Bring it out in the open. 404 00:22:06,123 --> 00:22:09,244 I spent a whole lifetime trying to get away from all that. 405 00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:12,293 I don't know if I could go through it again. 406 00:22:23,110 --> 00:22:25,188 Seaman Crothers, you have the right to submit evidence 407 00:22:25,365 --> 00:22:27,857 on your behalf in extenuation and mitigation. 408 00:22:32,335 --> 00:22:35,706 Your Honour, I'd just like to apologise to the Navy 409 00:22:35,883 --> 00:22:38,127 and to my unit members for what I did. 410 00:22:38,304 --> 00:22:46,270 I was young, stupid when I went UA, and I didn't know how to fix it. 411 00:22:46,527 --> 00:22:48,070 Thank you, sir. 412 00:22:51,494 --> 00:22:55,031 Mr. Roberts, do you have any argument to make on sentencing? 413 00:22:59,675 --> 00:23:02,631 Your Honour, given Seaman Crothers' conviction of this offence, 414 00:23:02,805 --> 00:23:05,381 desertion for 10 years, as well as the manner 415 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,397 in which his absence was terminated, 416 00:23:08,565 --> 00:23:12,353 the government submits that his military service was not honourable 417 00:23:12,531 --> 00:23:14,904 and requests a bad conduct discharge. 418 00:23:15,077 --> 00:23:16,572 The government further recognises 419 00:23:16,747 --> 00:23:19,036 that since Seaman Crothers committed that offence, 420 00:23:19,209 --> 00:23:22,462 he's been an upstanding citizen, an excellent employee, 421 00:23:22,632 --> 00:23:25,504 and a good provider for his young family. 422 00:23:26,764 --> 00:23:30,136 It is not the government's desire nor intent 423 00:23:30,312 --> 00:23:34,312 to cause his family to suffer for Seaman Crothers' youthful folly. 424 00:23:34,486 --> 00:23:37,406 Therefore, the government requests 425 00:23:37,575 --> 00:23:41,195 that there be no forfeiture of pay or confinement. 426 00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:52,051 Your Honour, I concur with Mr. Roberts' statement. 427 00:23:52,225 --> 00:23:55,098 I find it both just and compassionate. 428 00:23:57,567 --> 00:23:59,028 Will the defendant please rise? 429 00:24:04,079 --> 00:24:06,370 Seaman Robert Crothers, I hereby sentence you 430 00:24:06,542 --> 00:24:09,831 with a bad conduct discharge and no further punishment. 431 00:24:11,008 --> 00:24:13,846 This court-martial is adjourned. 432 00:24:23,072 --> 00:24:24,483 Had a change of heart? 433 00:24:24,991 --> 00:24:27,698 I think you were right, major. I shouldn't have gone for desertion. 434 00:24:27,871 --> 00:24:30,245 It's a lot more than a law school exercise. 435 00:24:31,043 --> 00:24:32,503 I'm impressed, Bud. 436 00:24:32,671 --> 00:24:34,880 Come on, I'll buy you a celebratory cappuccino. 437 00:24:35,259 --> 00:24:39,426 Do you mind if I take a rain cheque? I just wanna sit here for a minute. 438 00:24:40,226 --> 00:24:41,805 Sure. 439 00:25:04,185 --> 00:25:06,013 Hi. I'm looking for Joe Garvey. 440 00:25:07,107 --> 00:25:08,388 Why? 441 00:25:08,567 --> 00:25:10,941 There was a mix-up at the dry cleaners. 442 00:25:11,114 --> 00:25:14,153 I wound up with his uniform and I think that he has mine. 443 00:25:15,246 --> 00:25:18,534 But he doesn't live here anymore. 444 00:25:18,961 --> 00:25:20,457 Are you a pilot? 445 00:25:21,423 --> 00:25:22,919 Sometimes. 446 00:25:23,093 --> 00:25:27,473 - What airline? - The United States Navy. 447 00:25:28,477 --> 00:25:30,021 I hear they're good. 448 00:25:32,944 --> 00:25:36,066 You wouldn't happen to know where I might find Joe, would you? 449 00:25:36,241 --> 00:25:39,494 Well, if he still has a job, 450 00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:43,082 he'll be working 9 to midnight at the Rocket Man. 451 00:25:43,253 --> 00:25:46,707 It's an alley club off Bedford. 452 00:25:48,596 --> 00:25:49,712 Okay. 453 00:25:52,186 --> 00:25:54,892 By chance, did he leave a set of dress whites here? 454 00:25:55,316 --> 00:25:57,192 I hope not. 455 00:25:57,737 --> 00:26:00,859 I gave all of his stuff to the Salvation Army. 456 00:26:03,831 --> 00:26:05,243 I don't care what my mother ordered. 457 00:26:05,418 --> 00:26:07,875 I don't want a mermaid. I want a swan. 458 00:26:08,047 --> 00:26:11,216 No, no, you listen to me! Listen, no, no! 459 00:26:11,386 --> 00:26:13,594 I am getting married in less than 24 hours, 460 00:26:13,765 --> 00:26:15,759 so don't tell me about pressure, okay? 461 00:26:15,936 --> 00:26:17,681 I'm about this close to going bridal. 462 00:26:17,856 --> 00:26:21,691 Now, if I don't see an ice swan on my buffet table tomorrow, 463 00:26:21,863 --> 00:26:25,483 somebody's gonna find you floating face down in a bouillabaisse. 464 00:26:31,504 --> 00:26:35,208 - Are you okay, ensign? - Just peachy, major. 465 00:26:35,387 --> 00:26:39,767 I think that you need to try to relax and enjoy this, Harriet. 466 00:26:39,936 --> 00:26:41,266 Why don't you let me take you out? 467 00:26:41,439 --> 00:26:43,065 We can have dinner, maybe a few laughs? 468 00:26:43,234 --> 00:26:44,265 Well, that would be fun, 469 00:26:44,444 --> 00:26:46,485 but my mom's planning that stupid girls' night out. 470 00:26:46,656 --> 00:26:48,068 Oh, right. 471 00:26:48,243 --> 00:26:50,237 Could it get any worse than that? 472 00:26:50,788 --> 00:26:52,996 You are still coming with me, aren't you? 473 00:26:53,168 --> 00:26:54,711 I know it's a lot to ask and everything. 474 00:26:54,879 --> 00:26:56,161 I am your maid of honour, Harriet. 475 00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:58,417 I'm also a Marine. I think I can handle your mother. 476 00:27:06,733 --> 00:27:09,191 Are you sure you want to go through with this, admiral? 477 00:27:09,363 --> 00:27:11,238 No. 478 00:27:14,622 --> 00:27:15,821 Admiral, commander. 479 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,159 Sorry, I had no idea it was gonna be like this. 480 00:27:18,337 --> 00:27:19,880 Don't worry about it. 481 00:27:20,048 --> 00:27:22,801 Sir, thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me. 482 00:27:22,970 --> 00:27:24,880 Oh, it's the least we could do, Bud. 483 00:27:25,057 --> 00:27:27,729 Every condemned man needs his last hurrah. 484 00:27:30,441 --> 00:27:33,778 You're joking, right, sir? I mean, about the condemned part? 485 00:27:33,948 --> 00:27:35,988 Of course we are, Bud. 486 00:27:36,159 --> 00:27:39,828 Marriage is the greatest institution on earth. 487 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,744 We're envious of you. 488 00:27:41,919 --> 00:27:44,627 Well then, sir? Sir, sir? 489 00:27:45,259 --> 00:27:48,927 - Why are you both still single then? - Envious, not stupid. 490 00:27:49,099 --> 00:27:51,093 - Please, go ahead. - No, thanks. 491 00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,229 - Take it. - I don't like beer, Dad. 492 00:27:53,399 --> 00:27:54,513 You don't like beer? 493 00:27:54,692 --> 00:27:56,770 What do you want, a pineapple with an umbrella in it? 494 00:27:56,946 --> 00:27:59,570 - I got a soda. - Hey, it's time you became a man. 495 00:27:59,743 --> 00:28:01,653 Now, you either take this beer or you're going... 496 00:28:01,829 --> 00:28:05,118 Hey! He said he didn't want the beer. 497 00:28:07,464 --> 00:28:09,625 Lucky for you, Buddy, this is your bachelor party. 498 00:28:09,802 --> 00:28:12,378 Because I'm gonna cut you some slack. 499 00:28:12,808 --> 00:28:14,468 Come on, Mikey. 500 00:28:14,978 --> 00:28:18,646 - You don't have to follow him. - It's better that I do, Bud. 501 00:28:19,904 --> 00:28:21,482 Okay. 502 00:28:21,656 --> 00:28:24,695 Bud, I gotta disappear for a while. 503 00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:26,414 Got to talk to a guy about my uniform. 504 00:28:26,581 --> 00:28:28,077 You still don't have your dress whites? 505 00:28:28,251 --> 00:28:30,495 Sir, the wedding is tomorrow. You're my best man. 506 00:28:30,672 --> 00:28:32,334 If you don't have your dress whites, I don't know if you can come. 507 00:28:32,509 --> 00:28:34,633 Admiral, will you order the lieutenant to relax? 508 00:28:34,804 --> 00:28:38,508 - Relax, lieutenant. - Aye, aye, sir. 509 00:28:45,156 --> 00:28:47,364 Hey, are any of you guys Joe Garvey? 510 00:28:47,535 --> 00:28:48,567 He's on stage. 511 00:28:48,745 --> 00:28:53,707 Get down, get loose and get an eyeful of Commander Joe. 512 00:29:17,171 --> 00:29:19,129 Hey, this area is off limits. 513 00:29:19,299 --> 00:29:22,219 This uniform belongs to me, buddy. I just want the uniform. 514 00:29:22,388 --> 00:29:24,428 - Wrong answer. - Hey, pal. 515 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,060 I don't want any trouble, all right? 516 00:29:26,228 --> 00:29:28,353 I've got a wedding in the morning. I need the uniform. 517 00:29:28,524 --> 00:29:30,435 Look, I'm warning you right now. I'm a black belt. 518 00:29:30,610 --> 00:29:33,234 - Don't make me hurt you. - And I'm warning you right now. 519 00:29:33,407 --> 00:29:35,152 I'm a lawyer. Don't make me sue you. 520 00:29:36,621 --> 00:29:38,413 - Really? - Yeah. 521 00:29:38,583 --> 00:29:41,254 You ever handle any sexual harassment suits? 522 00:29:41,421 --> 00:29:43,047 What? 523 00:29:43,300 --> 00:29:46,587 The owner here has got a bad habit of pinching me every time I walk past. 524 00:29:46,764 --> 00:29:48,307 It's kind of humiliating. 525 00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:55,439 Thanks. 526 00:30:00,747 --> 00:30:04,165 - Commander! - Hey. 527 00:30:05,338 --> 00:30:08,924 Commander, I thought you'd abandoned ship on us. 528 00:30:09,094 --> 00:30:11,005 Hey, girls! 529 00:30:11,181 --> 00:30:14,138 Come on and meet Commander Rabb. 530 00:30:14,605 --> 00:30:16,479 Hey, where's Bud? 531 00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:17,813 Oh, the last time I saw him 532 00:30:17,985 --> 00:30:20,692 he was moving towards the head with one of the gals. 533 00:30:20,866 --> 00:30:23,952 I didn't think he had it in him myself. 534 00:30:24,121 --> 00:30:27,374 I'll go get him. Excuse me, ladies. 535 00:30:29,505 --> 00:30:30,704 Say, ladies, 536 00:30:30,883 --> 00:30:34,136 you're not gonna charge me extra for this, are you? 537 00:30:34,889 --> 00:30:36,884 Oh, what the hell. 538 00:30:39,690 --> 00:30:41,351 Commander, where have you been? 539 00:30:41,526 --> 00:30:45,528 - This party is getting out of control. - I'll say. 540 00:30:46,035 --> 00:30:47,281 Have you seen the admiral, Bud? 541 00:30:47,787 --> 00:30:49,580 Oh, they denied my dad's credit card. 542 00:30:49,749 --> 00:30:52,242 The admiral's talking to the club manager, trying to work it out. 543 00:30:52,421 --> 00:30:56,041 - Wow, what's wrong with her? - I think she needs a doctor, sir. 544 00:30:56,219 --> 00:30:57,798 Well, how much did she have to drink? 545 00:30:57,972 --> 00:31:00,381 Nothing. I think it's morning sickness. 546 00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:01,806 You're kidding, right? 547 00:31:01,979 --> 00:31:03,890 No. I have a pregnancy test in my purse. 548 00:31:04,066 --> 00:31:05,348 I was gonna do it this afternoon, 549 00:31:05,527 --> 00:31:07,604 but I had a tort final and I just ran out of time. 550 00:31:07,781 --> 00:31:11,117 - You're in law school? - My third year at George Mason. 551 00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:14,824 No way, I'm in my second year. Do you know Professor Wilton? 552 00:31:15,002 --> 00:31:16,034 - Yeah. - He's... 553 00:31:16,212 --> 00:31:20,260 I hate to interrupt this campus chat, but I'd like to find the admiral. 554 00:31:20,428 --> 00:31:23,182 - Where's the manager's office? - Around the corner to the left. 555 00:31:23,350 --> 00:31:24,382 Pardon? 556 00:31:24,561 --> 00:31:25,593 - Around the corner to the left. - Around the corner to the left. 557 00:31:25,771 --> 00:31:27,314 Thanks. 558 00:31:30,613 --> 00:31:35,362 - So this is your bachelor party? - Yeah, I'm getting married tomorrow. 559 00:31:35,538 --> 00:31:37,497 So who's the lucky lady? 560 00:31:37,667 --> 00:31:38,699 Mother! 561 00:31:43,677 --> 00:31:47,512 No, thank you. No, thank you. 562 00:31:49,145 --> 00:31:51,021 Mother, we are going home right now. 563 00:31:51,191 --> 00:31:53,814 - Come on. - Darling, I still have 60 bucks left. 564 00:31:53,987 --> 00:31:58,237 How do you think your father would look in an outfit like this? 565 00:31:58,411 --> 00:32:01,830 Mother, don't even go there. Come on. 566 00:32:02,001 --> 00:32:05,455 Come on. Go. 567 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,883 Major, you have to do me a humongous favour 568 00:32:08,053 --> 00:32:10,048 and please take my mother back to her hotel. 569 00:32:10,224 --> 00:32:12,598 - I really need to see Bud right now. - Sure. 570 00:32:12,770 --> 00:32:14,479 Thank you. 571 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,236 - Where is she going? - To see Bud. 572 00:32:18,404 --> 00:32:20,648 Well, why on earth would she do that? 573 00:32:20,826 --> 00:32:23,319 Because she loves him. 574 00:32:29,884 --> 00:32:30,915 Admiral. 575 00:32:31,093 --> 00:32:34,964 I just gave that man all my cash and my watch as collateral. 576 00:32:35,143 --> 00:32:36,258 Three-twenty. 577 00:32:36,436 --> 00:32:39,689 - I take it you're ready to leave then? - Very. 578 00:32:39,859 --> 00:32:42,981 Hi, I'm Big Bud. Do you want to hear something funny? 579 00:32:43,156 --> 00:32:46,195 Why don't we rescue the lieutenant on the way out, sir? 580 00:32:46,371 --> 00:32:48,032 - Dad, just leave her alone. - What? 581 00:33:09,703 --> 00:33:11,614 - Come on. - No, we've gotta help Bud. 582 00:33:11,790 --> 00:33:14,710 It's every man for himself in a bar fight. Move. 583 00:33:46,602 --> 00:33:48,595 My name is Admiral A.J. Chegwidden. 584 00:33:48,771 --> 00:33:50,481 Yeah, I know. Remember me? 585 00:33:50,650 --> 00:33:53,060 United States Navy v. Seaman Moska? 586 00:33:53,238 --> 00:33:55,909 - Did I defend you? - Prosecuted. 587 00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:59,080 Those handcuffs aren't too tight, are they, sir? 588 00:33:59,790 --> 00:34:02,913 - Bud, what's going on? - Harriet, what are you doing here? 589 00:34:03,088 --> 00:34:05,083 Buddy, I'm pregnant. 590 00:34:18,324 --> 00:34:20,198 Harriet, you have got to get a grip. 591 00:34:20,995 --> 00:34:24,201 You are getting married in less than half an hour. 592 00:34:24,376 --> 00:34:29,125 - No, Mother, I'm not. - It is not like a Beaumont to quit. 593 00:34:30,053 --> 00:34:31,845 I am not a Beaumont. 594 00:34:32,014 --> 00:34:34,472 I'm an ensign in the United States Navy. 595 00:34:34,644 --> 00:34:37,102 I am sick as a dog and my fiancé got beat up 596 00:34:37,274 --> 00:34:40,395 by a pregnant stripper last night. 597 00:34:43,910 --> 00:34:45,571 Hello? 598 00:34:46,164 --> 00:34:48,622 Just a minute. 599 00:34:48,794 --> 00:34:50,455 It's your future husband. 600 00:34:50,631 --> 00:34:53,586 I have no idea who that might be. 601 00:34:57,017 --> 00:35:00,934 She's still getting dressed, Bud. I'll have her call you when she's ready. 602 00:35:01,107 --> 00:35:02,935 Okay. 603 00:35:05,990 --> 00:35:08,531 Harriet's gonna call off the wedding. 604 00:35:08,704 --> 00:35:09,867 She said that? 605 00:35:10,623 --> 00:35:13,912 No, but she won't come to the phone. 606 00:35:14,088 --> 00:35:16,332 Bud, she's probably getting ready. 607 00:35:16,509 --> 00:35:18,467 Do you know how long it takes a woman to get ready 608 00:35:18,637 --> 00:35:20,098 just to go to the store to buy milk? 609 00:35:20,266 --> 00:35:21,465 This is her wedding day. 610 00:35:21,643 --> 00:35:24,895 I'm sure she probably started getting ready yesterday. 611 00:35:25,065 --> 00:35:27,356 Yeah, you're probably right. 612 00:35:27,779 --> 00:35:29,322 I got it. 613 00:35:31,827 --> 00:35:32,907 Mikey. 614 00:35:33,497 --> 00:35:35,492 - Hey, commander. - Hey, come on in. 615 00:35:35,668 --> 00:35:39,004 - Where's your dad? - I don't know, sir. 616 00:35:39,174 --> 00:35:41,797 I went to the motel from the club. He never came home. 617 00:35:44,266 --> 00:35:47,388 - Come here, Mike. - Hey, Buddy. 618 00:35:47,564 --> 00:35:50,186 You know I'm sorry I ran out on you last night. 619 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:51,523 What are you talking about? 620 00:35:51,696 --> 00:35:54,271 You would have never left me alone in the middle of a fight. 621 00:35:54,451 --> 00:35:56,361 Oh, hey, come here. 622 00:35:59,543 --> 00:36:01,620 Okay, look. We've got 15 minutes to get to the chapel. 623 00:36:01,796 --> 00:36:04,634 So let's get these Hollywood sunglasses off of you and... 624 00:36:07,724 --> 00:36:09,884 - It was an accident. - The hell it was. 625 00:36:10,061 --> 00:36:13,433 Okay, look, after Harriet and I get married, you'll live with us, all right? 626 00:36:13,609 --> 00:36:16,102 - You'll go to school here. - Dad wants me to go into the Navy. 627 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:20,234 - The hell with what Dad wants. - Hey, your brother's right, Mike. 628 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,870 You have talent, man. You should pursue it. 629 00:36:24,044 --> 00:36:28,044 - You're both in the Navy. - Doing what we wanna do. 630 00:36:28,218 --> 00:36:30,426 Your father was a naval aviator, right, commander? 631 00:36:30,597 --> 00:36:33,173 - Yeah. - And isn't that why you became one? 632 00:36:33,352 --> 00:36:36,439 - Yeah, probably. - My dad's a sailor. 633 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:43,067 Why couldn't I have had a son? I don't know why she gets like this. 634 00:36:43,244 --> 00:36:46,449 She was a nice little girl, always so well behaved. 635 00:36:46,625 --> 00:36:51,624 - Mother, why don't you take a walk? - Don't talk to me like that, young lady. 636 00:36:51,801 --> 00:36:55,338 It's just nerves, Mrs. Sims. Give her a minute to collect herself. 637 00:36:55,516 --> 00:36:58,804 I don't know why you can't be more like Major MacKenzie. 638 00:37:05,367 --> 00:37:07,657 You're gonna be okay, Harriet. 639 00:37:07,829 --> 00:37:11,664 - I feel like I'm gonna puke. - Oh, nonsense. 640 00:37:11,837 --> 00:37:14,080 You're just scared. 641 00:37:14,340 --> 00:37:18,673 I have every reason to be. All my parents do are fight and bicker. 642 00:37:18,848 --> 00:37:20,926 I don't want my marriage to end up like that. 643 00:37:21,102 --> 00:37:24,141 Harriet, everyone fights. It's part of being human. 644 00:37:24,317 --> 00:37:27,319 Yeah, but I want it to be really great. 645 00:37:27,489 --> 00:37:29,982 I probably sound like a sap. 646 00:37:30,369 --> 00:37:33,206 I guess I'd have to agree with that assessment, ensign. You are a sap. 647 00:37:33,374 --> 00:37:36,627 You have got the greatest guy who wants to make you his wife 648 00:37:36,797 --> 00:37:40,049 and you're sitting here, afraid to get up off the couch. 649 00:37:40,386 --> 00:37:42,547 Do you really think we're gonna be happy? 650 00:37:43,601 --> 00:37:45,095 I think that you and Bud are gonna be 651 00:37:45,270 --> 00:37:48,059 as happy as two people have a right to be. 652 00:37:50,112 --> 00:37:53,068 Now get in your dress, that's an order. 653 00:37:53,952 --> 00:37:56,112 Yes, ma'am. 654 00:37:59,962 --> 00:38:01,292 Thank you, major. 655 00:38:02,384 --> 00:38:06,253 You know, if I had a sister, I'd want her to be just like you. 656 00:38:06,724 --> 00:38:08,136 Thank you, Harriet. 657 00:38:08,311 --> 00:38:11,931 I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. 658 00:38:12,818 --> 00:38:16,154 Well, dear, I'm glad to see you've come to your senses. 659 00:38:16,324 --> 00:38:18,734 - Mother, will you do me a favour? - Anything, darling. 660 00:38:18,912 --> 00:38:20,907 Don't talk to me for the next 24 minutes. 661 00:38:21,083 --> 00:38:22,542 Pardon me? 662 00:38:26,133 --> 00:38:30,679 Mother, this is my day. This is the husband that I want. 663 00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:32,974 This the life that I want. 664 00:38:33,146 --> 00:38:36,766 So you can either enjoy the day and you can share in my happiness, 665 00:38:36,944 --> 00:38:40,150 or you can sashay your southern-belle butt right back home. 666 00:38:40,617 --> 00:38:43,110 And there is no middle ground. 667 00:38:47,504 --> 00:38:50,258 Okay, so how do I look? 668 00:38:50,426 --> 00:38:52,670 Like you went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. 669 00:38:53,891 --> 00:38:55,516 Come in. 670 00:38:59,191 --> 00:39:01,980 Spoken like a true Roberts. 671 00:39:02,154 --> 00:39:04,315 All right, Mikey, let me have a look at that shiner. 672 00:39:04,492 --> 00:39:07,281 Don't worry. A little cover-up makeup will hide a multitude of sins. 673 00:39:07,455 --> 00:39:10,542 - I'm gonna ruin the wedding pictures. - Not once I'm done with you. 674 00:39:13,758 --> 00:39:16,382 - Looking good, major. - It's okay? 675 00:39:17,974 --> 00:39:19,684 - There. - Now let me see it. 676 00:39:19,853 --> 00:39:22,856 - You look very handsome, Mikey. - How's my hair? 677 00:39:25,070 --> 00:39:27,278 Well, well, well. 678 00:39:30,621 --> 00:39:33,541 I'd better check on Harriet. 679 00:39:43,561 --> 00:39:44,842 You hit him last night. 680 00:39:45,605 --> 00:39:48,977 - You tell him that? - He didn't have to. 681 00:39:49,154 --> 00:39:50,234 He was getting lippy. 682 00:39:51,241 --> 00:39:52,902 That doesn't give you the right to hit him. 683 00:39:53,077 --> 00:39:55,155 It does in my book. I'm trying to make him tough. 684 00:39:55,331 --> 00:39:56,791 Like you? 685 00:39:56,959 --> 00:39:59,915 There's a difference between being strong and being a bully. 686 00:40:00,089 --> 00:40:03,093 It was for your own good. Nobody ever picked on you, did they? 687 00:40:03,262 --> 00:40:04,378 Just guys like you. 688 00:40:04,973 --> 00:40:07,810 Well, I'm sorry if I'm no Mr. Father-Knows-Best. 689 00:40:07,978 --> 00:40:10,733 But they don't teach child rearing in the Navy. 690 00:40:10,901 --> 00:40:12,312 You made me hate you. 691 00:40:13,279 --> 00:40:16,568 You guys, you always had food to eat. 692 00:40:16,744 --> 00:40:19,034 You had clean clothes and you had a roof over your head. 693 00:40:19,206 --> 00:40:20,785 We could have gotten that in an orphanage. 694 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,586 Yeah? I don't need to take this from you. 695 00:40:22,755 --> 00:40:24,914 - Mr. Big-Shot-Lieutenant-Lawyer. - Dad, don't. 696 00:40:25,091 --> 00:40:26,801 - What are you gonna do about it? - Stop it. 697 00:40:26,970 --> 00:40:28,596 - Yeah, make me. - Dad, don't! 698 00:40:28,765 --> 00:40:32,267 You shut up and keep out of this or I'll close your other eye. 699 00:40:32,730 --> 00:40:37,645 Don't you ever raise your fist against Mikey or me again. 700 00:40:40,285 --> 00:40:41,829 Come on, Mikey. 701 00:40:42,623 --> 00:40:45,994 - We're getting out of here. - It's Bud's wedding, Dad. 702 00:40:46,170 --> 00:40:49,044 Yeah? Well, you have an appointment with the Navy recruiter. 703 00:40:49,218 --> 00:40:51,544 It's not your life, it's his! 704 00:40:52,473 --> 00:40:54,135 Don't do it, Mikey. 705 00:40:59,485 --> 00:41:01,361 Sorry, Bud. 706 00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:10,039 You won't be seeing us anytime soon. 707 00:41:10,212 --> 00:41:14,760 Mikey, you'll always be welcome in my life. 708 00:41:15,304 --> 00:41:17,513 But I never want to see you again. 709 00:41:33,754 --> 00:41:34,785 Dearly beloved, 710 00:41:35,715 --> 00:41:38,125 we have come together in the presence of God 711 00:41:38,304 --> 00:41:41,509 to witness and bless the joining together 712 00:41:41,684 --> 00:41:46,231 of this man and this woman in holy matrimony. 713 00:41:46,401 --> 00:41:50,152 Marriage is not intended to be entered into unadvisedly 714 00:41:50,325 --> 00:41:51,820 or lightly, 715 00:41:51,994 --> 00:41:54,487 but reverently, deliberately, 716 00:41:54,665 --> 00:41:56,993 and in accordance to the purposes for which it is instituted 717 00:41:57,170 --> 00:41:59,414 - Bud. - By God. 718 00:42:14,617 --> 00:42:21,455 I, Bud J. Roberts Jr., take you, Harriet Beaumont Sims, to be my wife, 719 00:42:21,629 --> 00:42:24,633 to have and to hold from this day forward, 720 00:42:24,802 --> 00:42:28,470 for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, 721 00:42:28,642 --> 00:42:32,856 in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 722 00:42:33,024 --> 00:42:34,853 until separated by death. 723 00:42:35,028 --> 00:42:38,067 This is my solemn vow to you. 724 00:42:38,242 --> 00:42:40,200 I, Harriet Beaumont Sims, 725 00:42:40,371 --> 00:42:45,879 take you, Bud J. Roberts Jr., to be my husband, 726 00:42:46,047 --> 00:42:48,885 to have and to hold from this day forward, 727 00:42:49,512 --> 00:42:53,643 for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, 728 00:42:54,354 --> 00:42:58,603 for richer or for poorer, to love and to cherish, 729 00:42:59,195 --> 00:43:01,771 until we are parted by death. 730 00:43:02,076 --> 00:43:04,698 This is my solemn vow to you. 731 00:43:12,260 --> 00:43:17,720 This ring is a symbol of my vow, of all that I am, and all that I have. 732 00:43:20,065 --> 00:43:24,196 I pronounce that you are husband and wife. 733 00:43:32,629 --> 00:43:34,041 Hey, hey. 734 00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:55,497 Officers, draw swords. 735 00:43:58,633 --> 00:44:01,340 Arch swords. 736 00:44:01,514 --> 00:44:03,056 Blades to the wind. 737 00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:05,515 Presenting, for the first time in public, 738 00:44:05,687 --> 00:44:09,474 Lieutenant J.G. And Mrs. Bud J. Roberts Jr. 739 00:44:21,339 --> 00:44:22,835 Go, Navy. 740 00:44:23,677 --> 00:44:24,757 Return. 741 00:44:28,602 --> 00:44:32,270 Sword. Dismissed. 742 00:44:48,136 --> 00:44:52,637 - I've been waiting a long time for this. - Oh, so have I. 743 00:44:59,698 --> 00:45:02,238 Well, since everybody's kissing the bride 744 00:45:02,412 --> 00:45:04,739 I guess I'll kiss the groom. 745 00:45:05,167 --> 00:45:07,326 Red light, commander. 746 00:45:10,593 --> 00:45:13,430 So do I get to kiss the bride, Buddy? 747 00:45:13,598 --> 00:45:15,888 I think you'd better, little brother. 748 00:45:17,438 --> 00:45:20,227 - Congratulations. - Thanks, Mikey. 749 00:45:25,285 --> 00:45:27,030 Excuse me, sir. 750 00:45:31,129 --> 00:45:32,208 Who's your friend? 751 00:45:34,676 --> 00:45:35,709 Yes? 752 00:45:36,806 --> 00:45:38,514 Don't ask.