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( cash register rings )
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♪ GROUND FLOOR... PERFUMERY,
STATIONERY, AND LEATHER GOODS ♪
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♪ WIGS AND HABERDASHERY,
KITCHENWARE AND FOOD... ♪
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♪ GOING UP... ♪
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♪ FIRST FLOOR... TELEPHONES,
GENTS' READYMADE SUITS ♪
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CAPTAIN PEACOCK'S
COMING UP IN THE LIFT NOW.
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RIGHT, PLACES EVERYBODY.
PLACES. QUICKLY.
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AS SOON AS THE LIFT GATES OPEN,
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YOU WILL ALL APPLAUD, AND THEN I
SHALL PRESENT CAPTAIN PEACOCK
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WITH HIS 20 YEARS
SERVICE BADGE, HMM?
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RATHER AN EMOTIONAL
MOMENT, ISN'T IT?
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20 YEARS IN THIS PLACE. IT'S ALMOST
AS MUCH AS THE TRAIN ROBBERS GOT.
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HOW UNEXPECTED.
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CAPTAIN PEACOCK, IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
OF... MR. LUCAS, THE BUTTON!
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TOO LATE, I'VE LOST HIM.
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CUT OFF IN HIS MOMENT OF GLORY.
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HE'S GOING DOWN TO
THE BARGAIN BASEMENT.
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SHOULDN'T WE JUST FOLLOW HIM?
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QUICK, YES. INTO THE
OTHER LIFT. QUICKLY NOW.
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- PRESS THE BUTTON,
MR. LUCAS.
- RIGHT!
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JUST A MINUTE. IT'S COMING...
22
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THE LIFT'S COMING UP
AGAIN. HE'S COMING BACK.
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THEY'VE GONE, THE STUPID LOT.
24
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MAY I SAY THIS COMES AS A
GREAT... WHERE ARE THEY?
25
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THEY'VE ALL GONE DOWN TO
THE BASEMENT WITH YOUR MEDAL.
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OH, HOW STUPID.
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JUST A MINUTE.
THEY'RE COMING BACK.
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- WE MISSED HIM.
- YOU'VE JUST MISSED
HIM AGAIN.
29
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HE'S GONE DOWN TO THE
BASEMENT TO LOOK FOR YOU.
30
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OH, DRAT.
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"WE SEEK HIM HERE,
WE SEEK HIM THERE"...
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IT'S LIKE LOOKING FOR
THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL.
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HANG ON, HE'S BACK AGAIN,
HE'S COMING BACK AGAIN.
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OH, PLACES EVERYBODY,
QUICKLY NOW.
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I'D LIKE TO SAY IT GIVES
ME GREAT PLEASURE...
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IT GIVES ME GREAT
PLEASURE AND ALL.
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OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
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I'M GOING BACK TO MY COUNTER.
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THE MOMENT HAS LOST ITS MAGIC.
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OH, YES. SEND HIM TO MY
OFFICE WHEN HE COMES IN.
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I SAY, I SAY, I SAY...
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( gasping ) I'M HERE.
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PLACES, EVERYBODY.
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CAPTAIN PEACOCK,
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IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
OF YOUR 20 YEARS SERVICE
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HERE AT GRACE BROTHERS,
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IT GIVES ME MUCH PLEASURE
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TO PRESENT YOU WITH THIS BADGE,
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THE LETTERS "GB"
IN 22 CARAT GOLD.
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PLATE.
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THIS COMES A COMPLETE
SURPRISE TO ME,
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AND I AM MOST TOUCHED,
NOT TO SAY HONORED.
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IN ADDITION, AND
AS A SPECIAL TOKEN
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OF YOUR PARTICULARLY
EXCELLENT SERVICE HERE,
55
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THE MANAGEMENT IS
TAKING THE UNUSUAL STEP
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OF PRESENTING YOU WITH THIS KEY.
57
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WHAT'S IT FOR, YOUR FLAT?
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IT'S THE KEY TO THE
EXECUTIVE WASHROOM.
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THE KEY TO THE
EXECUTIVE WASHROOM?
60
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I REALLY DIDN'T EXPECT
THIS. IT IS INDEED AN HONOR.
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THE KEY TO THE
EXECUTIVE WASHROOM?!
62
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I'VE SERVED HERE FOR 35 YEARS
63
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AND I'VE NEVER BEEN ONCE.
64
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YOU MUST BE BURSTING.
65
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I'VE BEEN HERE
LONGER THAN PEACOCK
66
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AND I HAVE TO MUCK
IN WITH THE REST.
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I HAVE A FURTHER
ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
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NOT ANOTHER HONOR, SIR,
THAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH.
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YES, IT WOULD.
70
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NO, THIS DOESN'T REALLY
CONCERN YOU DIRECTLY.
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I JUST WISH TO REMIND YOU ALL
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- ABOUT THE CHANGE
IN THE LUNCH BREAK.
- All: OH, YES.
73
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THE MANAGEMENT FEELS THAT
WE ARE LOSING A LOT OF TRADE
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BY CLOSING
BETWEEN 1:00 AND 2:00,
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SO IN THE FUTURE, WE
WILL TAKE OUR LUNCH BREAK
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BETWEEN 2:00 AND 3:00, HMM?
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I DON'T THINK MY STOMACH
CAN HANG OUT THAT LONG.
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IT'S BEEN HANGING OUT
FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS.
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MR. GRAINGER, WOULD
YOU INFORM YOUR JUNIOR
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THAT IF HE DOESN'T WATCH HIS
TONGUE WHEN SPEAKING TO A LADY,
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HE'LL GET A BAT
ROUND THE EARHOLE?
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( bell rings )
83
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THE STORE IS OPEN.
TO YOUR COUNTERS.
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- CAPTAIN PEACOCK,
ONE MORE THING.
- YES, SIR.
85
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REGARDING YOUR APPLICATION
FOR AN INCREASE IN SALARY.
86
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- OH, YES, SIR.
- IT HAS NOT BEEN APPROVED.
87
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INDEED? I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
88
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I AM, HOWEVER, HERE TO TELL YOU
89
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THE MANAGEMENT HAS
SEEN FIT TO EXTEND TO YOU
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THE PRIVILEGE OF USING
THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM.
91
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,587
THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM?
92
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SEE YOU AT LUNCH, STEPHEN.
93
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,792
THANK YOU, CUTHBERT.
94
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,629
- IT'S STILL MR. RUMBOLD.
- I'M SORRY, SIR.
95
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PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
96
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THE KEY TO THE EXECUTIVE
WASHROOM WENT TO MY HEAD.
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I QUITE UNDERSTAND.
98
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LOOK AT HIM FLAUNTING IT.
99
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I'VE WANTED THAT
KEY ALL MY LIFE.
100
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,390
BUT YOU'RE NOT
MANAGEMENT, MR. GRAINGER.
101
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YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN
LINE FOR THE THRONE.
102
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ARE YOU BEING SERVED, SIR?
103
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IT'S HARDLY LIKELY. I'VE JUST
STEPPED OUT OF THE LIFT.
104
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IN THAT CASE, I WILL
REPHRASE THE QUESTION...
105
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- CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?
- I'M LOOKING FOR A BOW.
106
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A BOW... TIE, VIOLIN
OR "ROBIN HOOD"?
107
00:04:57,664 --> 00:05:00,432
- OH, VERY FUNNY.
- DO FORGIVE ME, SIR,
108
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I'M IN A RATHER
FRIVOLOUS MOOD TODAY.
109
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THIS MY ANNIVERSARY. I'VE BEEN
WITH GRACE BROTHERS 20 YEARS NOW.
110
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THEN YOU'LL KNOW WHERE I
CAN BUY A CLIP-ON BOW TIE.
111
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A CLIP-ON BOW TIE?
112
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YES, A CLIP-ON BOW TIE.
YOU KNOW THE SORT...
113
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,161
I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, SIR.
114
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- MR. GRAINGER, ARE YOU FREE?
- ( angrily) YES, I'M FREE.
115
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THIS GENTLEMAN
WANTS A CLIP-ON BOW TIE.
116
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A CLIP-ON BOW TIE?
117
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A CLIP-ON BOW TIE.
118
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I'M VERY SORRY, I'M AFRAID I
CAN'T HELP YOU, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
119
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I'M JUST GOING TO THE STAFF BOG.
120
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INDEED, MR. GRAINGER.
121
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MR. HUMPHRIES, ARE YOU AVAILABLE
122
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FOR A CLIP-ON BOW TIE?
123
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN AVAILABLE
FR A CLIP-ON BOW TIE.
124
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MR. LUCAS WILL ATTEND TO THE
CUSTOMER. FORWARD, MR. LUCAS.
125
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,287
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
126
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DID I HEAR YOU SAY YOU WERE
INTERESTED IN A CLIP-ON BOW TIE?
127
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- THAT'S RIGHT.
- PLEASE STEP THIS WAY.
128
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IF YOU'D BE KIND ENOUGH
TO TAKE YOUR TIE OFF, SIR.
129
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LET ME HELP YOU.
130
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,264
NOW THEN,
131
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THERE WE ARE, SIR.
ONE CLIP-ON BOW TIE.
132
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THE SPRINGS ON THESE ARE
VERY STRONG, YOU KNOW.
133
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,864
THEY'RE SO STRONG, WE SELL
QUITE A LOT AS MOUSETRAPS.
134
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- THERE WE ARE.
- HOW DOES IT LOOK?
135
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,722
- HOW DOES IT LOOK,
MR. HUMPHRIES?
- AWFUL.
136
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
137
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IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT'S THE CLIP-ON BOW TIE.
138
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WHY ARE YOU TRYING
TO SELL ME AN AWFUL TIE?
139
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:28,364
WE'RE NOT TRYING TO SELL IT
TO YOU. YOU SAID YOU WANTED IT.
140
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NOBODY'S WEARING THEM
MUCH AT THE MOMENT.
141
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,357
NO, EXCEPT YOU.
142
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WHAT OCCASION WAS IT
YOU WANTED IT FOR, SIR?
143
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:37,162
IT'S AN ARMY REUNION.
144
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( together ) TSK,
TSK, TSK. OH, NO.
145
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,678
SIR WOULDN'T WANT THE
REST OF HIS REGIMENT
146
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TO THINK HE'D GONE TO THE DOGS.
147
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,439
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'VE GOT MY OWN BUILDING FIRM.
148
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,919
NO ONE WOULD EVER GUESS
IT, SIR, IN A BOW TIE LIKE THAT.
149
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,743
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?
150
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:54,312
WELL, SIR...
EXCUSE ME... FOR £2,
151
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:57,327
YOU COULD HAVE A PRE-TIED
VELVET ON A PIECE OF ELASTIC.
152
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,662
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE
WEARING THESE, AREN'T THEY?
153
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,786
YES, THEY ARE,
MR. HUMPHRIES, YES.
154
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,699
THAT IS, IF THEY CAN'T
AFFORD A PROPER ONE.
155
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:05,502
A PROPER ONE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
156
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,770
A HANDMADE WATERED SILK.
157
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,561
LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
158
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,463
THEY ARE £5.
159
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,510
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, I
CAN AFFORD THAT.
160
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:16,401
- SALE, MR. LUCAS.
- I'LL MAKE OUT THE BILL,
MR. HUMPHRIES.
161
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,638
ONLY THING IS,
HOW DO YOU TIE IT?
162
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,951
THERE'S A DIAGRAM
INSIDE THE BOX.
163
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,176
SHOW ME HOW YOU TIE YOURS.
164
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,855
OH, I COULDN'T POSSIBLY DO THAT.
165
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:29,113
I ALWAYS WEAR ONE OF THESE.
166
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:32,284
SO I SAID TO HIM, I SAID,
"YOUNG MAN," I SAID,
167
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:35,398
"IF YOU DON'T TAKE YOUR
HAND OFF MY KNEE AT ONCE,
168
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:38,635
I'M GETTING OFF THIS
BARSTOOL AND GOING HOME."
169
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,792
- AND DID HE?
- HE DID NOT.
170
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,995
- SO YOU WENT HOME?
- EVENTUALLY.
171
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:47,899
ANYWAY, HE'S TAKING ME TO THE
PICTURES TONIGHT TO APOLOGIZE.
172
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,980
I DO HOPE HE BEHAVES
HIMSELF ON THE BACK ROW.
173
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,104
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE
GOING TO BE IN THE BACK ROW?
174
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,872
I'VE BOOKED.
175
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,077
- MORNING, LADIES.
- GOOD MORNING, MR. MASH.
176
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,446
HERE WE ARE,
THEN... SIX JUMPERS,
177
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,082
SIX PAIRS OF EAR MUFFS...
178
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,521
AND I'VE BROUGHT
UP THESE 24 PAIRS
179
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,424
OF SENSI TOUCH RUBBER GLOVES.
180
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,159
SENSI TOUCH RUBBER GLOVES?
181
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:17,773
BEEN LISTENING TO
"THE ARCHERS" LATELY?
182
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:21,099
( blows raspberry )
183
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,335
YOU'RE AS COMMON AS MUCK.
184
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:26,170
THEY SHOULD BE IN THE
KITCHEN DEPARTMENT.
185
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,873
THEY ARE, BUT THEY ORDERED
A THOUSAND PAIRS TOO MANY.
186
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,642
THEY WANT TO SHIFT 'EM.
187
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,712
OH, I'VE GOT A SENSI TOUCH
DISPLAY MODEL AS WELL.
188
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,281
THERE YOU ARE. LOOK AT THAT.
189
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,529
AIRTIGHT AND
WATERTIGHT, GUARANTEED.
190
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:43,054
BUT WHAT'S IT FOR?
191
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,901
"WASHERDAY HANDS WHICH
YOU CARE FOR SO MUCH,
192
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,727
CAN STILL PLAY THE PIANO
WITH A SENSITIVE TOUCH."
193
00:08:55,636 --> 00:09:00,472
DID YOU EVER SEE ANYTHING
SO AWFUL IN ALL YOUR LIFE?
194
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,342
"I DON'T MAKE 'EM, LADY.
I JUST DELIVER 'EM"...
195
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,371
AS THE MIDWIFE
SAID TO THE BISHOP.
196
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,483
Mrs. Slocombe: CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
197
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,852
CAPTAIN PEACOCK!
198
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,154
ARE YOU FREE?
199
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:19,223
NOT AT THE MOMENT,
MRS. SLOCOMBE.
200
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:25,196
- CAN I HELP YOU, MADAM?
- NO, THANK YOU.
201
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,732
ARE YOU FREE NOW,
CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
202
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:31,869
YES, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
203
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:34,872
JUST LOOK AT THIS MONSTROSITY.
204
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:38,142
I HAVE ALREADY SEEN THIS
EXCELLENT DISPLAY MODEL,
205
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,644
APPROVED IT,
206
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,158
AND GIVEN AUTHORITY FOR IT
TO BE USED ON YOUR COUNTER.
207
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,648
I SEE.
208
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:46,351
THEN I SHALL HAVE TO GO
THROUGH YOU TO MR. RUMBOLD.
209
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,230
ARE YOU SURE YOU
WANT TO QUESTION
210
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,600
THE DECISION OF YOUR
SUPERIOR, MRS. SLOCOMBE?
211
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,256
CAPTAIN PEACOCK,
212
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:55,259
YOU MAY HAVE THE KEY TO
THE TOP PERSONS' TOILET,
213
00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:58,129
BUT YOU ARE IN NO
WAY MY SUPERIOR.
214
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,801
AND WOMEN LIVE LONGER THAN MEN.
215
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,847
I DON'T SEE WHAT
THAT HAS TO DO WITH IT.
216
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:08,473
I KNOW, BUT I JUST
THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU.
217
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,508
FOR THE LAST TIME,
MRS. SLOCOMBE,
218
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,455
DO YOU WISH TO
QUESTION MY JUDGMENT?
219
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:16,013
YES, CAPTAIN
"SOLOMON" PEACOCK, I DO.
220
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,394
IN THAT CASE, I SHALL HAVE TO PUT
THE MATTER BEFORE MR. RUMBOLD
221
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,184
- WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY.
- GOOD.
222
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:21,897
AND MAY I SAY THAT I DISAPPROVE
223
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,933
OF YOUR USING THIS RUDE TONE
TO ME IN FRONT OF A JUNIOR?
224
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,659
CAPTAIN PEACOCK, I'M SO SORRY.
225
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,740
MISS BRAHMS, WOULD YOU MIND
REMOVING YOURSELF A FEW PACES
226
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,965
- AND COVERING YOUR EARS?
- YES, MRS.SLOCOMBE.
227
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,569
POMPOUS TWIT.
228
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,608
WHAT WILL YOU DO IF
RUMBOLD APPROVES?
229
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,121
I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.
PASS ME THE SCISSORS.
230
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:49,305
JUST ONCE MORE, I THINK
WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.
231
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,483
A LITTLE BIT CLOSER.
232
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:56,488
NOW, UP AND OVER, MAKE A BOW,
233
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:59,524
THROUGH THE HOLE
AND THERE WE GO.
234
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:01,804
IT'S QUITE SIMPLE,
ISN'T IT, SIR?
235
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,908
NOW I'LL HAVE TO GO ON YOU.
236
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,266
WRONG WAY.
237
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,403
UP AND OVER, MAKE A
BOW, THROUGH THE HOLE...
238
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,138
MRS. SLOCOMBE, ARE YOU FREE?
239
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,642
AT THE MOMENT, YES.
240
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:18,976
I HAVE TOLD MR. RUMBOLD
241
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,479
THAT YOU WISH TO DEFY
MY EXECUTIVE DECISION
242
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,515
THAT THE SENSI
TOUCH DISPLAY UNIT
243
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,082
IS SUITABLE FOR YOUR COUNTER,
244
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,819
AND HE HAS COME OVER TO
GIVE HIS EXECUTIVE RULING
245
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,221
TO DISPOSE OF THE
MATTER ONCE AND FOR ALL.
246
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,201
YES, I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY
SEEN IT BEFORE,
247
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,237
BUT I'M SURE IF CAPTAIN PEACOCK
LIKES IT THEN IT MUST BE ALL RIGHT.
248
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:38,129
IT'S RIGHT UP CAPTAIN
PEACOCK'S STREET.
249
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:39,864
- MAY I SHOW YOU?
- PLEASE.
250
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,468
( blowing raspberries )
251
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:51,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-
252
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,685
- CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?
- THE LADIES, PLEASE.
253
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,632
LINGERIE OR POWDER ROOM?
254
00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:05,222
I'D HARDLY BE WANTING
THE POWDER ROOM.
255
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,258
- JUST A LITTLE JOKE, SIR.
- ONLY JUST.
256
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,272
MRS. SLOCOMBE.
257
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:12,463
MAY I ASSIST YOU, SIR?
258
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,010
YES, I WANT TO BUY A DRESS.
259
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,433
CERTAINLY, SIR. ABOUT
WHAT AGE GROUP?
260
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:17,702
FORTYISH.
261
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:21,438
THE YOUNGER MIDDLE-AGE
RANGE... QUICKLY, MISS BRAHMS.
262
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:24,308
- ABOUT WHAT SIZE?
- IT'S FOR ME.
263
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:27,545
HOLD THE RANGE, MISS BRAHMS.
264
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,114
I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR?
265
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:31,961
IT'S FOR A FANCY DRESS PARTY.
266
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,818
OH, I SEE.
267
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,431
ALL THE MEN ARE GOING AS GIRLS
AND THE GIRLS ARE GOING AS MEN.
268
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:38,355
HOW AMUSING.
269
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:42,126
VERY GAY. TAPE, MISS BRAHMS.
270
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,463
- WOULD SIR RAISE HIS ARMS?
- THERE WE ARE.
271
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:56,407
42, INCLUDING THE
SPECTACLE CASE.
272
00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:58,442
WILL SIR BE WEARING ANY PADDING?
273
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,356
I THOUGHT A COUPLE OF
ORANGES WOULD GET A BIG LAUGH.
274
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:04,381
TANGERINES WILL
GET A BIGGER ONE.
275
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,820
I WANT SOMETHING UNDER £10.
276
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:12,656
SOMETHING FROM THE
COTTON SECONDS, MISS BRAHMS
277
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:15,727
FROM THE MATERNITY RANGE.
278
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,964
- CAN I TRY IT ON?
- NOT IN MY DEPARTMENT,
YOU CAN'T.
279
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,610
YOU'LL HAVE TO USE THE MENS'.
280
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,735
CAPTAIN PEACOCK, ARE YOU FREE?
281
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:27,449
YOU CALLED ME, MRS. SLOCOMBE?
282
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,341
THIS GENTLEMAN IS GOING
TO A FANCY DRESS DO
283
00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:33,544
AND WISHES TO USE THE
GENTS' FACILITIES TO TRY IT ON.
284
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,781
YES, THE GENTLEMEN'S DEPARTMENT
WOULD BE MORE SUITABLE.
285
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:39,150
- THIS WAY, IF YOU PLEASE, SIR.
- THANK YOU.
286
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,519
MR. GRAINGER, ARE YOU FREE?
287
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,399
I'M SORRY, CAPTAIN PEACOCK,
288
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:48,492
BUT I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE
MY COFFEE IN THE STAFF CAFE.
289
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,195
MR. HUMPHRIES, ARE YOU FREE?
290
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,497
I'M BUSY PRICING MY
TIES, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
291
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,968
- THE GENTLEMAN WISHES
TO TRY ON A DRESS.
- I'M FREE.
292
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,574
IT'S FOR A FANCY DRESS PARTY.
293
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,843
OH, YES SIR, THEY ALL
SAY THAT. COME ON.
294
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:11,816
THEY'RE THROWING VERY NICELY.
295
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,451
THEY'RE VERY SNUG, TOO.
296
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,553
A BIT TOO SNUG, I'M AFRAID.
297
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:19,323
I NEED A LARGER SIZE IN
JACKET AND TROUSERS.
298
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,225
OH, DEAR.
299
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,861
PERHAPS I SHOULD TRY
SOMETHING WITH A BOLD CHECK.
300
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:26,297
A BOLD CHECK.
301
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,279
I'LL HANG THIS UP
HERE FOR YOU, SIR,
302
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,837
WHILE YOU TRANSFORM YOURSELF.
303
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,383
Man: I'VE GOT IT ON.
304
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,573
HAVE YOU? OH, GOOD.
305
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,279
I'M AFRAID WE HAVEN'T
GOT MUCH IN CHECK...
306
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,387
AH, HERE WE ARE, SIR.
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
307
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,682
AH, YES.
308
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,833
WHAT DO YOU THINK, IS IT ME?
309
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:53,191
IT'S CERTAINLY NOT THE DRESS.
310
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:56,427
YOU KNOW I DON'T
KNOW WHY MEN DO IT.
311
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:58,640
HE'S GOING TO LOOK
AWFUL IN A DRESS.
312
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:01,299
HE DIDN'T LOOK ALL THAT
MUCH IN THE TROUSERS.
313
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,134
THERE WE ARE, SIR.
314
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:06,237
THERE'S YOUR OLD JACKET
AND TROUSERS IN THE BAG.
315
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,505
EXCELLENT FIT. IT
FEELS WORN IN ALREADY.
316
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,841
YES, VERY NICE, SIR.
317
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,190
WE SOLD ONE OF THOSE TO
ROBIN DAY THE OTHER DAY.
318
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,745
WHEN HE RETIRES HE'S GOING
TO WORK AS THE TEST CARD.
319
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,461
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WITH THAT CHECK SUIT?
320
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,163
SOLD TO MY CUSTOMER,
MR. HUMPHRIES.
321
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,721
( gasps )
322
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:27,225
THEY NEVER SHOULD HAVE
LET MR. HUMPHRIES FIT HIM.
323
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:29,393
HE'S BEEN IN THERE FOR HOURS.
324
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,863
HE'S PROBABLY TRYING TO
CHAT HIM INTO A HANDBAG.
325
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,446
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO GIVE
ME A NEW SUIT, THAT'S ALL.
326
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,848
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, SIR.
327
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:41,072
I'LL TRY AND FIND YOU SOMETHING.
328
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:42,351
YOU BETTER WAIT IN HERE.
329
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,053
I CAN'T. I'M DYING
TO SPEND A PENNY.
330
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:47,144
LOOK, HERE.
331
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:50,093
HITCH YOUR SKIRT UP AND
SPEAK WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT.
332
00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:56,087
CAN I HELP YOU...
333
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:58,789
SIR OR MADAM, AS
THE CASE MAY BE?
334
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:01,158
I WANT THE GENTS'.
335
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,205
- AT THE TOP
OF THE STAIRS.
- THANKS.
336
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:06,229
YOU SHOULD'VE USED THE
POWDER ROOM WHEN I SUGGESTED IT.
337
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:16,274
- WHAT TIME IS IT?
- 1:00.
338
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:18,575
ANOTHER HOUR TO LUNCH.
I WONDER IF MR. GRAINGER
339
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,577
WILL LEND ME HIS CHAIR?
340
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,557
YOU DO LOOK A BIT
PEAKY, MR. HUMPHRIES.
341
00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:24,548
I'M NOT SURPRISED,
I'VE HAD NO BREAKFAST.
342
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:28,019
A FRIEND OF MINE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO
SOME SHOPPING FOR ME AND HE LET ME DOWN.
343
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:29,620
THIS MORNING, I
GOT UP, I THOUGHT,
344
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,155
"I WONDER WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE."
345
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,024
WHEN I GOT THERE THE
CUPBOARD WAS BARE.
346
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,770
THAT'S NOT LIKE
YOU, MR. HUMPHRIES.
347
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,261
IT'S NOT. I USUALLY KEEP A BIT
OF SOMETHING TUCKED AWAY.
348
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,740
GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING.
349
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,043
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN
IT'S GOING TO BE A RAINY DAY.
350
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,234
THAT'S TRUE. ANYWAY,
I FOUND AN EGG,
351
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,970
AND I BOILED SOME WATER.
COULD I FIND MY EGG TIMER?
352
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,604
- NO.
- RIGHT.
353
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,942
SO I PICKED UP THE PHONE
AND I DIALED THE OPERATOR.
354
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,022
DID HE KNOW WHERE
YOUR EGG TIMER WAS?
355
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,356
- NO.
- SURPRISING.
356
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,414
I'LL SMACK YOUR
WRISTS IN A MINUTE.
357
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:59,317
ANYWAY, I SAID TO HIM,
"COULD I HAVE AN ALARM CALL
358
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,185
AT THREE MINUTES PAST 8:00?"
359
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,154
HE SAID, "IT'S 8:00 ALREADY."
360
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,756
I SAID, "I KNOW BUT
I'M BOILING AN EGG."
361
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,759
HE GOT QUITE NASTY BUT
HE HAD A VERY NICE VOICE.
362
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,995
ANYWAY, BY THE
TIME WE'D MADE IT UP
363
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,664
THE WATER HAD BOILED DRY,
THE EGG WAS LIKE A GOLF BALL
364
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,699
AND I HAD TO RUN FOR MY BUS.
365
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,135
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
IN THE FACTORY ACT...
366
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,271
DELAYING OUR CANTEEN LUNCH
367
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,473
IS A CONTRAVENTION
OF HUMAN RIGHTS.
368
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:25,876
EATING OUR CANTEEN LUNCH IS A
CONTRAVENTION OF HUMAN RIGHTS.
369
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:28,745
I'M GOING TO PHONE
THE FACTORY INSPECTOR.
370
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,214
I KNOW HOW HE FEELS.
371
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:33,851
IF MY WIND GETS ANY WORSE I'LL
HAVE TO HOIST GALE WARNINGS.
372
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:37,221
I CAN'T STAND THIS. I'M GOING TO
SEE IF I CAN ORGANIZE SOMETHING.
373
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,656
OH, I'M STARVING.
374
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,693
SO AM I, BUT I'VE TAKEN
STEPS TO KEEP GOING.
375
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:46,464
QUICK, WHILE
PEACOCK'S NOT LOOKING.
376
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,344
Brahms: A COFFEE PERCOLATOR!
377
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:51,035
YEP. IT'LL BE
PERKING ANY MINUTE.
378
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,315
OH, SMASHING. I COULD
JUST DO WITH THAT.
379
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,459
HANG ON, PEACOCK'S COMING.
380
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:00,255
LOOKING FORWARD TO
YOUR LUNCH, LADIES?
381
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:03,214
BY 2:00, THAT CANTEEN
WILL SEEM LIKE THE SAVOY.
382
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,983
I'M SORRY, I SHAN'T BE
JOINING YOU THERE AS USUAL.
383
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:08,152
GOING ON A DIET... AGAIN?
384
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:11,489
NO, BUT NOT ONLY HAVE I THE KEY
385
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,302
TO THE EXECUTIVE WASHROOM,
386
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,270
BUT FROM NOW ON I
SHALL BE TAKING MY LUNCH
387
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:16,638
IN THE EXECUTIVE RESTAURANT.
388
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,307
I JUST THOUGHT
YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW.
389
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:21,265
OH, YOU'RE LORD
MUCK NOW, AREN'T YOU?
390
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:24,468
YES.
391
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,681
I'M LOOKING FORWARD
TO IT. IT WILL BE VERY NICE
392
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:29,173
TO HAVE A CHOICE OF WINE
WITH ONE'S CHICKEN FRICASSEE.
393
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:33,110
IS THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL
THE RISSOLES UP THERE?
394
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,946
I COULD DO WITH A
RISSOLE RIGHT NOW.
395
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,926
WHEN I WAS IN THE
WESTERN DESERT,
396
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,152
WE WERE TRAINED TO
GO FOR LONG PERIODS
397
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,553
WITHOUT FOOD AND WATER.
398
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,267
YOU LEARNED IT FROM
THE CAMELS, I SUPPOSE?
399
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:48,404
I WAS JUST MAKING THE POINT THAT
I'M ABLE TO COPE WITH THE SITUATION
400
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,804
MORE EASILY THAN YOU ARE.
401
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:51,295
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
402
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:54,131
MY STOMACH CAN HOLD
ON AS LONG AS YOURS CAN.
403
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,832
( bubbling )
404
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,438
ROMMEL WOULD'VE HEARD
THAT FROM 10 MILES AWAY.
405
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,884
DID YOU PHONE TO THE
FACTORIES INSPECTOR?
406
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,543
NO, NO, I HAD A CHANGE OF HEART.
407
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:08,179
I'VE BEEN VERY WELL
TREATED AT GRACE'S,
408
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,747
AND IT WON'T BE VERY
LONG BEFORE I RETIRE.
409
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,717
I WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE
BRANDED AS A TROUBLEMAKER.
410
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,153
A WORD IN YOUR EAR, ERNEST?
411
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:19,390
YES, CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
412
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:23,094
I'M SORRY IF MY ELEVATION TO THE
EXECUTIVE WASHROOM UPSET YOU.
413
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,463
I COULD HAVE REFUSED IT,
414
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:28,099
BUT THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
CONSTRUED AS TAKING A STAND
415
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,700
AGAINST THE MANAGEMENT.
416
00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:31,302
YES, CAPTAIN PEACOCK,
417
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:33,248
I THINK YOU'LL BE FAR BETTER OFF
418
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,484
STANDING WITH THE MANAGEMENT.
419
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,541
I'M GLAD YOU SEE IT THAT WAY.
420
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:40,043
IT'S ONLY JUST THAT...
421
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:43,481
I HAD HOPED THAT ONE
DAY I SHOULD HAVE THAT KEY.
422
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,916
NO HARD FEELINGS THEN, ERNEST?
423
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,452
NO HARD FEELINGS AT ALL.
424
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,454
I'D BE DELIGHTED
425
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,689
IF YOU'D HAVE
LUNCH WITH ME TODAY
426
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:53,824
IN THE CANTEEN.
427
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:56,327
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T.
428
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:58,061
YOU SEE, FROM NOW ON,
429
00:19:58,131 --> 00:20:00,464
I HAVE TO TAKE MY LUNCH IN
THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM.
430
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:04,935
THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM?
431
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,738
THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM?!
432
00:20:07,806 --> 00:20:09,485
GLASS OF WATER FOR MR. GRAINGER.
433
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,353
I DON'T WANT A GLASS OF WATER!
434
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,297
WHERE'S THAT TELEPHONE?
435
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:19,261
TELL YOUR STOMACH
EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT. I'VE FIXED IT.
436
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,463
ALL WE'VE GOT TO DO IS
GET PEACOCK OFF THE FLOOR.
437
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,999
- HAVE YOU GOT
SOME SANDWICHES?
- I'VE DONE BETTER.
438
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,156
GET RID OF PEACOCK.
439
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,194
( phone buzzes )
440
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,466
SLOCOMBE, LADIES.
441
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,536
HELLO, MRS. SLOCOMBE, IT'S
MISS WILLIAMS... ACCOUNTS.
442
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:41,816
COULD YOU TELL CAPTAIN PEACOCK
THAT ONE OF HIS FIGURES IS IN DISPUTE.
443
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,685
WE'D LIKE TO SEE HIM
UP HERE IMMEDIATELY.
444
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:47,110
VERY WELL. CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
445
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:48,380
YES, MRS. SLOCOMBE?
446
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,314
YOU'RE WANTED IN ACCOUNTS.
447
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,383
THANK YOU, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
448
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,819
MR. HUMPHRIES, I'M
WANTED UP IN ACCOUNTS.
449
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:57,221
ARE YOU REALLY?
450
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,323
YES, MR. HUMPHRIES.
451
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,592
WOULD YOU TAKE OVER
FOR ME WHILE I'M AWAY?
452
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:04,739
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TAKE OVER
STANDING HERE OR WALKING ABOUT?
453
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,830
DON'T BE FACETIOUS,
MR. HUMPHRIES.
454
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:08,510
THAT'S A PERFECTLY
PROPER QUESTION.
455
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:10,967
MY ANSWER IS I WISH
YOU TO TAKE OVER FOR ME
456
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,481
AS FLOORWALKER WHILE I'M AWAY.
457
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,771
VERY WELL, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
458
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:34,491
ANOTHER WORD OUT OF YOU AND
YOU'LL GO BACK TO THE WINDOW.
459
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,538
STOP MESSING ABOUT.
GET UP BY THE LIFT
460
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:38,722
AND PRESS THE
BUTTON THREE TIMES.
461
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,437
( whistles )
462
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,183
WELCOME TO MASH'S
"MEALS ON WHEELS."
463
00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:55,078
GET YOUR SOUP OFF ME.
464
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:58,582
MULLIGATAWNY OR MINESTRONE,
STEAMING HOT OR ALREADY BLOWN.
465
00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:01,785
HERE WE GO, THEN.
466
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:04,921
SORRY, SECOND
SITTING IN 10 MINUTES.
467
00:22:06,124 --> 00:22:08,291
OOH, RATS!
468
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:13,864
( Grainger slurping )
469
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:17,133
( slurping continues )
470
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:29,580
I NEVER DID LIKE LENTIL SOUP.
471
00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:38,355
WHAT DID YOU DECIDE ON?
472
00:22:38,424 --> 00:22:40,223
SHEPHERD'S PIE.
473
00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:42,504
YOU ALWAYS DID LIKE ADVENTURE.
474
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,895
WHEN I WENT PAST, THE
FLIES WERE ENJOYING IT.
475
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:47,330
OH, NEVER MIND.
476
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,277
PUT PLENTY OF THAT
BROWN SAUCE ON.
477
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,602
YOU WON'T SEE THEIR FOOTPRINTS.
478
00:22:55,073 --> 00:22:57,875
I'M REALLY GOING TO ENJOY THIS.
479
00:22:57,943 --> 00:22:59,254
WHAT DID YOU SETTLE FOR THEN?
480
00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:02,012
- MELON BALLS.
- UNUSUAL.
481
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,347
MR. GRAINGER,
482
00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:06,784
WOULD YOU TAKE A
WHIFF OF THIS PILCHARD
483
00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:08,685
AND GIVE ME YOUR OPINION?
484
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:11,054
I'D RATHER NOT, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
485
00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:13,657
IT MIGHT PUT ME OFF
MY ROLLMOP HERRING.
486
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,604
I CAN TELL YOU ONE
THING, MRS. SLOCOMBE,
487
00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:19,095
ABOUT THAT PILCHARD...
IT'S DEFINITELY DEAD.
488
00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:21,598
WHICH IS MORE THAN CAN BE
SAID FOR THAT GREEN THING
489
00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:23,627
WHAT'S WALKING
ACROSS YOUR LETTUCE.
490
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:32,876
TOUGH LITTLE
MONKEYS, AREN'T THEY?
491
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:35,679
YOU HAVE TO BE TO
EAT THAT LETTUCE.
492
00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:41,051
GOT IT.
493
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,620
IT'S RIGHT PUT ME OFF EATING.
494
00:23:43,689 --> 00:23:46,156
IT'S GIVEN HIM A HELL
OF A HEADACHE AS WELL.
495
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:48,325
( slurping )
496
00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:56,299
ISN'T IT DISGUSTING?
497
00:23:56,368 --> 00:23:59,302
THAT'S NOTHING. HE ALWAYS
EATS HIS SOUP LIKE THAT.
498
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:01,450
IF YOU WANT SOMETHING
REALLY DISGUSTING
499
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:03,139
GET HIM SOME SPAGHETTI.
500
00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:07,511
I MEANT THE CONDITIONS
IN THE STAFF CANTEEN
501
00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:09,045
ARE DISGUSTING.
502
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:12,549
FANCY HAVING TO WAIT
AN EXTRA HOUR FOR THIS.
503
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:14,663
I DON'T THINK IT
WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.
504
00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:16,698
MR. GRAINGER PHONED
THE FACTORY INSPECTOR.
505
00:24:16,722 --> 00:24:18,522
WELL DONE, MR. GRAINGER.
506
00:24:18,591 --> 00:24:22,103
YES, I DID, BUT APPARENTLY
CAPTAIN PEACOCK
507
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,167
HAD COMPLAINED EARLIER
508
00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:27,330
ABOUT THE EXTRA LATE LUNCHEON.
509
00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:30,333
HE SAID THAT IT UPSET
HIS DESERT STOMACH.
510
00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:33,047
THE INSPECTOR SAID THEY'VE
GOT NO RIGHT TO MAKE US EAT LATE.
511
00:24:33,071 --> 00:24:36,017
HE TOOK ONE LOOK AT THIS PLACE
AND WENT OFF TO SEE YOUNG MR. GRACE.
512
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:39,275
I SHALL BE INTERESTED
TO HEAR HIS REPORT.
513
00:24:39,344 --> 00:24:42,445
IF HE HAD ANYTHING TO EAT
HERE IT'LL BE A LOUD ONE.
514
00:24:42,515 --> 00:24:44,125
I THINK THEY'RE TAKING HIM
515
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,884
TO THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM.
516
00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:49,119
HELLO, THERE GOES RUMBOLD.
517
00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:53,056
I BET HE DOESN'T GET THINGS
CRAWLING ABOUT ON HIS LETTUCE
518
00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:55,759
IN THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM.
519
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,829
THEY DON'T CARE, YOU KNOW,
AS LONG AS THEY'RE ALL RIGHT.
520
00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:01,532
ALL RIGHT, THIS, ISN'T IT?
521
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,035
NICE BIT OF
SHEPHERD'S PIE, THAT.
522
00:25:05,103 --> 00:25:06,770
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MR. MASH?
523
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:10,073
I'M BENDING MY KNEES, AIN'T I?
524
00:25:10,142 --> 00:25:13,276
THAT MAKES MY BOTTOM
GO PLUNK ON THE CHAIR.
525
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:15,278
IT'S CALLED SITTING DOWN.
526
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:19,282
THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN
OUR DEPARTMENTAL TABLE.
527
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:22,163
I KNOW THAT, BUT AS CAPTAIN
PEACOCK'S GONE UP IN THE WORLD,
528
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,999
I THOUGHT I'D TAKE HIS PLACE.
529
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:27,791
THERE'S A VACANCY
OVER THERE BY THE PIG BIN.
530
00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:31,227
CHARMING, ISN'T IT?
531
00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:33,474
ONE OF THESE DAYS,
MATES, WE'LL ALL BE EQUAL.
532
00:25:33,498 --> 00:25:36,199
THEN I'LL BE IN THE
EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM.
533
00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:39,369
HANG ON, HERE COMES PEACOCK.
534
00:25:39,438 --> 00:25:42,238
MAKING HIS MAIDEN VOYAGE
TO THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM.
535
00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:47,355
HE DIDN'T EVEN SPEAK TO US.
536
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,179
ALL POWER CORRUPTS,
537
00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:52,616
ABSOLUTE POWER
CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY.
538
00:25:52,685 --> 00:25:55,652
SNORKEL FOR MR. GRAINGER.
539
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:05,007
AHEM... AH, PEACOCK,
WELCOME TO THE CLUB.
540
00:26:05,031 --> 00:26:07,097
- DO SIT DOWN.
- THANK YOU, SIR.
541
00:26:12,538 --> 00:26:14,738
THIS IS VERY NICE, ISN'T IT?
542
00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:17,207
WILL YOU JOIN ME
IN A GLASS OF WINE?
543
00:26:17,276 --> 00:26:19,196
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.
544
00:26:21,446 --> 00:26:23,113
THANK YOU.
545
00:26:23,182 --> 00:26:25,082
THAT'LL BE 25p.
546
00:26:25,151 --> 00:26:28,686
NO, NO, NO, NOT
NOW. LATER WILL DO.
547
00:26:30,355 --> 00:26:32,522
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
548
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,711
EXCUSE ME, SIR. THANK YOU.
549
00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:39,229
SOUP DE JOUR... LENTIL.
550
00:26:39,298 --> 00:26:43,000
LE ROLLMOP HERRING,
LE PILCHARD SALAD,
551
00:26:43,069 --> 00:26:45,635
ET LE SHEPHERD'S PIE.
552
00:26:45,705 --> 00:26:50,574
TO FOLLOW, UN APRES HUIT MINT.
553
00:26:50,642 --> 00:26:53,711
YES, A GREAT IMPROVEMENT
ON NEXT DOOR, EH?
554
00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:55,445
YES, WE THINK SO.
555
00:26:55,514 --> 00:26:57,147
YOUR HEALTH, SIR.
556
00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:58,682
AMUSING LITTLE WINE, ISN'T IT?
557
00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:01,151
HILARIOUS.
558
00:27:03,388 --> 00:27:08,692
PERUVIAN BEAUJOLAIS... TYPE.
559
00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:10,794
YES, I MUST REMEMBER THAT.
560
00:27:10,863 --> 00:27:13,296
THIS IS A GREAT
MOMENT FOR ME, SIR.
561
00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:15,632
I MEAN, ONE STRUGGLES,
ONE DOES ONE'S BEST,
562
00:27:15,701 --> 00:27:17,968
ONE FAILS FREQUENTLY,
563
00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:20,204
OCCASIONALLY, ONE SUCCEEDS.
564
00:27:20,272 --> 00:27:22,472
THEN FINALLY, AFTER
A LONG JOURNEY,
565
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:24,074
ONE ARRIVES.
566
00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:26,543
- ( loud banging )
- OH!
567
00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:32,649
- WHAT ON EARTH?
- IT'S YOUNG MR. GRACE.
568
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,253
DON'T GET UP.
569
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:38,488
I'M SORRY TO SPOIL YOUR LUNCH,
570
00:27:38,557 --> 00:27:41,424
BUT I'M HAVING TROUBLE
WITH THE FACTORY INSPECTOR.
571
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:44,762
SOMEBODY FROM ONE OF THE
DEPARTMENTS SENT FOR HIM
572
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:48,799
AND IT SEEMS THAT THE
CANTEEN IS TOO SMALL
573
00:27:48,868 --> 00:27:50,788
FOR THE NUMBER
OF PEOPLE USING IT.
574
00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:54,404
I WAS AWARE IT SHOULD BE
100 SQUARE FEET BIGGER, SIR,
575
00:27:54,473 --> 00:27:56,073
BUT WHAT CAN ONE DO?
576
00:27:56,142 --> 00:27:59,342
WHERE THERE'S A
WILL THERE'S A WAY.
577
00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:01,879
I'M HAVING THE WHOLE
THING KNOCKED INTO ONE.
578
00:28:01,947 --> 00:28:03,691
WHAT ABOUT THE
EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM?
579
00:28:03,715 --> 00:28:06,650
THAT'S THE LEAST
OF YOUR TROUBLES.
580
00:28:06,718 --> 00:28:10,520
YOU'VE GOT TO USE
THE STAFF BOG AS WELL.
581
00:28:11,857 --> 00:28:13,390
CARRY ON, BOYS.
582
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:15,893
YOU'RE DOING VERY WELL.
583
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:21,531
( theme music plays )
584
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:28,383
♪ GROUND FLOOR... PERFUMERY,
STATIONERY, AND LEATHER GOODS ♪
585
00:28:28,407 --> 00:28:31,108
♪ WIGS AND HABERDASHERY
KITCHENWARE AND FOOD... ♪
586
00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:33,177
♪ GOING UP... ♪
587
00:28:37,149 --> 00:28:39,983
♪ FIRST FLOOR... TELEPHONES,
GENTS' READYMADE SUITS ♪
588
00:28:40,052 --> 00:28:42,585
♪ SHIRTS, SOCKS, TIES, HATS,
UNDERWEAR AND SHOES ♪
589
00:28:42,654 --> 00:28:44,654
♪ GOING UP... ♪
590
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,695
♪ SECOND FLOOR... CARPETS,
TRAVEL GOODS AND BEDDING ♪
591
00:28:51,763 --> 00:28:54,331
♪ MATERIAL, SOFT FURNISHINGS
RESTAURANT AND TEAS ♪
592
00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:56,399
♪ GOING DOWN. ♪
592
00:28:57,305 --> 00:29:57,567
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