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NARRATOR:
Previously on Angel:
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Who am I?
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FRED:
You might have some kind of amnesia.
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Cordelia's shacking up
with your hell spawn.
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You're going back to him,
aren't you?
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00:00:10,173 --> 00:00:12,971
FRED: It was Professor Seidel.
He sent me to Pylea.
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- He's gonna pay.
- He's gonna die.
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Back out if you think Gunn's right.
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Charles doesn't have it in him.
It's what I love about him.
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Fred, no!
You kill him, I'm gonna lose you.
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- The professor?
- It's taken care of.
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Were we in love?
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[SINGING "THE WAY WE WERE"]
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Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV
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Youth, is there anything
more magical?
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A time of first loves, great discoveries.
Let's face it, youth is it.
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It's a national obsession, crazy cats.
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But somewhere, people all forget
what a mess youth is.
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It's a time of magic, all right.
And there's nothing more unreliable...
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...or annoying than magic.
Let me tell you a little story.
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It starts with a kid.
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LORNE:
No, actually, it really starts here.
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Were we in love?
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Hm.
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- Were we?
- What?
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In love.
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With each other?
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- Lf you start giving me the runaround...
- I'm not. I'm not!
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- Then tell me the truth.
- I don't know.
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- You don't know?
- Well, I'm not sure.
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I think that's the sort of thing
I'd remember.
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Hey, maybe you wrote it down
somewhere. A note on the fridge maybe?
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I had feelings for you.
And I thought that maybe you...
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But you never told me.
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You asked me to meet you to talk...
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...and I never saw you again.
- And you think I wanted to tell you...
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...I was in love with you.
- I don't think you're ready...
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Or maybe I was gonna
tell you to back off, buddy.
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Maybe you were coming on
too strong.
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Harassing me in the workplace.
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Maybe I had a red-hot
restraining order in my mitts.
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- You ever think of that?
- It was never in the workplace. I...
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Well, there was that one time
with the ballet...
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...and the stripping and the roundness,
but that was a spell!
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And we were meeting on the bluffs.
That's a romantic restraining order!
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You're yelling at me!
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I'm not.
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See, this is why I don't
wanna answer questions...
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...I don't have the answers for.
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All I know is that
you were my dearest friend.
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And I hope that...
I just... I want that back.
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That much, at least.
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You have no idea how much
this is killing me.
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I know my ABC's, my history.
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I know who's president,
and that I sort of wish I didn't.
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I know the name of every shoe store
in the Beverly Center...
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...but I don't...
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I don't even recognize
the sound of my own name.
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We'll get you back,
no matter what.
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Look, I promise you
we will get you back.
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Who is "we," paleface? I'm the one
out there doing all the legwork.
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Well, it's really more lap-work,
because guess what just fell into it.
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- What?
- A memory spell...
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...provided by one of my clients,
guaranteed to bring our Cordy back...
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...to the way she was.
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- Guaranteed?
- No pain, no side effects.
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I'm telling you, swingers,
there's no way this can fail.
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So I'm an idiot.
What are you, perfect?
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Spin the Bottle
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Well, I had every reason
to believe this spell would work.
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And it did, after a fashion.
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What happened during it...
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...and what came after...
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Ooh.
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I'm gonna need a bigger drink.
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But the spell was legit, straight up.
I had it off this wraith. Sweet girl.
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Not overly tangible, but she deals
in memory spells professionally.
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And she swears
that with the right mix...
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...we can stop this talking
and cut to the Cordelia Chase...
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...in two ticks of a ticking thing.
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I don't know.
Spells, I don't trust them.
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And I don't care.
I'm in!
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- Cordy, can we just...?
- I don't care.
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Pain, side effects,
this thing turns me into moussaka...
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...I'm happy, as long as I can
remember I'm moussaka.
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Don't worry, princess.
I've got all the ingredients lined up.
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As soon as we gather the six,
we'll be good to go.
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The six what?
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Tell Emil, if it tests all right
in the field...
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[PHONE RINGING]
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...he'll be hearing from me again.
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Yeah, okay.
He'll be thrilled.
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Price here.
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Yes.
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Lorne, I said yes.
I'll be there right away.
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If it works, it's worth doing.
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All right.
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Is everything...?
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Uh, is everyone there?
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No.
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No, I was just wondering if...
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...everything was all right with Fred.
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[KNOCKING]
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What do you want?
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Oh, good, symbols on the floor.
That always goes well.
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Check your sarcasm at the door,
pouty-britches. This is for Cordy.
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I just don't want no portals opening
around here. Had enough of that crap.
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Sorry, Lorne.
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We really have had
a whole lot of that crap.
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Yeah. Well, my parade
is rain-proofed, baby doll.
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My first reading
since my head got drilled...
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...and I find a spell that's going to bring
our little Cordy right back to us.
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[SPEAKING PYLEAN]
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WESLEY:
Did I miss the spell?
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Did English go away?
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LORNE:
No, it's Pylean, crumpet.
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I said, "I may be prepared
to shout a joyful chant."
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And I said,
"May your words please the gods."
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Are you all right?
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Did you...?
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It's done.
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First, she didn't say,
"May your words please the gods"...
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...so much as, "May you orally
please the gods," which is a slight...
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Inflection's very crucial in our...
God bless her.
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It's always nice to hear
the mother tongue.
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As long as it's not
from my mother.
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Is this on?
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Secondly...
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...I didn't know a couple hours ago
Fred tried to kill her professor...
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...by opening a portal.
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Gunn didn't know
that Wesley had helped her.
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And Wesley didn't know Gunn
had killed the guy to save Fred...
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...from becoming a killer.
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And Fred didn't know that
Gunn was right then figuring out...
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...that Wesley had helped her try.
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So you can see, I didn't have
all the facts when I started this.
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It's my job to read people, but nobody
in this clan was exactly singing.
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And me?
Hey, I was thinking about Cordelia.
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ANGEL: Hey.
- Oh.
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Oh, sorry.
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I wanted to clean up.
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Connor and I,
not exactly staying at the Mondrian.
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- How is he?
- He's 18.
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He's a mess.
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There's a lot of pain in him.
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I think it helps, having me there.
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Good.
That's good.
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We're almost ready.
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I'll be downstairs.
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So you're perfectly okay with just
wandering into my room any old time?
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That fits the "we were in love" theory
and the "harassment" theory...
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...pretty much equally.
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Well...
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...hopefully that'll
all be answered soon.
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GUNN:
So I guess I'm the muscle, huh?
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Sorry?
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Angel's the man on the card.
It's his world.
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Not a leader no more.
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00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:05,089
Don't got that champion's heart like
Cordy. The brains, that was you.
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So that leaves muscle.
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What about Fred?
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Well, that's the question, isn't it?
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She's pretty brainy too.
164
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Maybe you two are kindred souls.
165
00:10:22,493 --> 00:10:26,372
Maybe that's why she went to you for
help getting revenge on that professor.
166
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Killing takes brains.
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I did what you weren't
prepared to do.
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00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,963
You have no idea what I've...
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00:10:36,173 --> 00:10:37,811
What I would do for her.
170
00:10:37,973 --> 00:10:40,168
Is there some reason
I should need to know?
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You think I don't smell this
a mile off?
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You think I don't know
why you keep coming back here?
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00:10:46,973 --> 00:10:48,964
Because you keep needing my help.
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I'm gonna say this once.
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You move on Fred,
and I'm gonna put you down hard.
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I'm glad to see you have such faith
in your relationship.
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- Keep pushing.
- You think you could get out of my way?
178
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:02,772
No, what if...?
179
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Not all of us have muscle
to fall back on.
180
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:16,723
What happened to you, man?
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I had my throat cut
and all my friends abandoned me.
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LORNE:
Okay, eyes on the bottle.
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00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:33,564
We come in supplication and hope.
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Bring her back.
185
00:11:53,973 --> 00:11:56,168
What's going on?
186
00:11:57,213 --> 00:11:59,522
I feel a little...
187
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What's happening to us?
188
00:12:27,253 --> 00:12:29,448
This is important.
189
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It's so beautiful.
190
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,047
[RETCHES]
191
00:12:40,933 --> 00:12:44,289
We'll just wait to see
if there are any side effects.
192
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,764
What's happening?
193
00:12:53,533 --> 00:12:55,842
We can't just...
We have to...
194
00:12:56,013 --> 00:12:57,765
No!
195
00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:05,892
Okay...
196
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,248
...what the hell is going on here?
197
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,732
What's your name?
198
00:13:09,933 --> 00:13:11,810
I'm Cordelia Chase, dumb-ass.
199
00:13:11,973 --> 00:13:15,409
And if this is some sort of sophomore
hazing prank, where I get doped up...
200
00:13:15,573 --> 00:13:17,484
...and left
with a bunch of proto-Losers...
201
00:13:17,653 --> 00:13:20,645
...then my parents are suing
all of Sunnydale. Comprende?
202
00:13:20,813 --> 00:13:22,963
What the hell are you talking about?
203
00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:26,091
It's called kidnapping a minor,
Hair Club for Men.
204
00:13:26,293 --> 00:13:28,807
If you think for a second
I'm putting up with this...
205
00:13:29,013 --> 00:13:31,288
...well, you don't know Cordelia...
206
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:33,728
Cordelia.
207
00:13:35,293 --> 00:13:38,285
Hello, salty goodness.
208
00:13:44,413 --> 00:13:46,847
WESLEY: All right, hang on.
You're Cordelia Chase...
209
00:13:47,053 --> 00:13:50,045
...you're a high-school student,
you live in Sunnydale?
210
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:53,725
Right.
211
00:13:54,453 --> 00:13:57,286
- So who are you?
- The guy that's gonna be kicking ass...
212
00:13:57,493 --> 00:14:00,053
...somebody don't tell what's going on.
- For short?
213
00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:02,767
Does anyone here recognize anyone?
214
00:14:02,973 --> 00:14:08,001
Um, I'm Fred Burkle.
I'm also in school, in San Antone.
215
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:11,086
Oh, we're both in school.
216
00:14:11,253 --> 00:14:14,370
Oh, gosh, let's be best friends
so I can lose all my cool ones!
217
00:14:14,533 --> 00:14:16,171
WESLEY:
There's no call to be snippety.
218
00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:19,127
This is a clarion call for snippety,
Princess Charles.
219
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:21,893
It's Wesley, thank you,
Wyndam-Price.
220
00:14:22,053 --> 00:14:25,648
I am from the Watcher's Academy
in southern Hampshire.
221
00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:28,247
In fact, I happen to be head boy.
222
00:14:28,413 --> 00:14:30,643
Gee, I wonder how
you earned that nickname.
223
00:14:30,853 --> 00:14:33,413
A lot of effort, I don't mind saying.
224
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:36,164
- Gunn.
- Where?
225
00:14:36,373 --> 00:14:38,887
Me, that's my name.
The short version.
226
00:14:39,733 --> 00:14:40,722
WESLEY:
Ah.
227
00:14:41,733 --> 00:14:43,644
What school do you attend?
228
00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:50,087
So we've heard from the socially
handi-capable. What's your story?
229
00:14:50,293 --> 00:14:52,045
Mad.
230
00:14:52,253 --> 00:14:53,811
You're all mad.
231
00:14:53,973 --> 00:14:57,045
These clothes.
Your speech.
232
00:14:58,133 --> 00:15:00,522
This place.
What land is this?
233
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,486
- Where's it supposed to be?
- Where do you hail from, friend?
234
00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:06,765
I'm not your friend, English pig.
We never wanted you in Ireland.
235
00:15:06,933 --> 00:15:08,605
We don't want you now.
236
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:10,764
- You Irish?
- You don't sound Irish.
237
00:15:10,973 --> 00:15:13,089
I most certainly... I sound exactly...
238
00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:17,163
Something wrong with my voice.
239
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,812
Well, what's your name?
240
00:15:20,173 --> 00:15:21,731
Liam.
241
00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:25,608
Great, we've all got names.
Bye now.
242
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,568
I wouldn't be so quick, Miss Chase,
to leave.
243
00:15:28,773 --> 00:15:33,767
Clearly, we're all the victims
of some nefarious scheme.
244
00:15:34,173 --> 00:15:36,209
I'll lay odds that door is bolted shut.
245
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:40,042
- And who knows what peril lies outside.
- English pig.
246
00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:42,249
- English pig.
WESLEY: Before we do anything...
247
00:15:42,413 --> 00:15:45,246
...I suggest we gather
as much information as we can.
248
00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:49,850
- And I suggest we gather some cops.
- Whoa! I don't want no heat near me.
249
00:15:50,013 --> 00:15:52,208
I don't think we should call
the police anyhow.
250
00:15:52,373 --> 00:15:53,806
They're probably involved.
251
00:15:53,973 --> 00:15:56,043
- In what?
- Don't y'all think this is some...
252
00:15:56,213 --> 00:15:58,568
...government conspiracy?
My friend Levon says...
253
00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:01,770
...the government's always taking
kids and experimenting on them.
254
00:16:02,573 --> 00:16:05,883
Did anybody else have to take
a personality-disorder test recently?
255
00:16:06,093 --> 00:16:10,132
They ask you about politics, your bowel
movements, if you want to be a florist.
256
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:13,530
Okay, Scarlett O' please-shut-me-up.
Does anyone sane have a theory?
257
00:16:13,733 --> 00:16:15,963
There's conspiracies,
y'all don't even know.
258
00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:18,772
I got no problem with the idea
the man is messing with us.
259
00:16:18,973 --> 00:16:21,362
The important thing is to start
with the facts.
260
00:16:21,693 --> 00:16:24,765
We're all from different cities.
We're all of an age...
261
00:16:25,773 --> 00:16:28,810
Judging from the facial hair I've grown,
we've been unconscious...
262
00:16:28,973 --> 00:16:33,728
...at least a month.
- Oh, God. Oh, God! My hair. My hair!
263
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:38,890
- The government gave me bad hair!
- No, no, it's nice!
264
00:16:39,053 --> 00:16:42,011
- Yes, it's just the thing.
- Are you sure?
265
00:16:42,173 --> 00:16:45,563
It's very attractive.
But a clue, nonetheless.
266
00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:48,964
- Perhaps the point of this is hair.
- I vote he's not in charge.
267
00:16:49,173 --> 00:16:52,290
It's the devil.
It's the devil.
268
00:16:52,453 --> 00:16:53,647
My hair?
269
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:58,011
My father said I was a sinner,
that I'd come to a bad end.
270
00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:02,812
- Now I've come to hell.
- Well, hell's a lot nicer than my place.
271
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:04,452
[CORDELIA MOANS]
272
00:17:04,653 --> 00:17:06,848
It appears to be some sort of hotel.
273
00:17:07,013 --> 00:17:10,892
Well, maybe it's Motel Hell.
274
00:17:13,013 --> 00:17:15,732
Well, let's get the lay of the place.
275
00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:18,612
Don't be giving me orders.
I run my own crew.
276
00:17:18,773 --> 00:17:22,288
I'm sure your seafaring adventures
are interesting, but I have experience...
277
00:17:22,453 --> 00:17:27,208
...of things you couldn't imagine.
I'm not head boy for nothing.
278
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:31,372
- You're about to be headless boy.
- Intimidation.
279
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:32,602
Points for effort.
280
00:17:33,493 --> 00:17:37,645
Perhaps a little karate technique
will put you in your place.
281
00:17:44,453 --> 00:17:45,772
[GASPS]
282
00:17:49,493 --> 00:17:51,449
What the hell is that?
283
00:17:52,693 --> 00:17:55,253
- A clue!
- That a wooden stake you got?
284
00:17:55,413 --> 00:17:57,324
Apparently, yes.
285
00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,291
Which changes the scenario
quite a bit.
286
00:18:03,653 --> 00:18:05,450
I didn't get one.
287
00:18:05,613 --> 00:18:07,524
Nobody got one except English here.
Why?
288
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:10,691
I don't know. I suggest we look about
for weapons of some kind.
289
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,642
Yeah, that part works.
290
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:18,372
[FRED GASPS]
291
00:18:19,733 --> 00:18:21,291
[SCREAMING]
292
00:18:21,453 --> 00:18:24,251
All right, nobody scream!
293
00:18:24,413 --> 00:18:26,847
- Or touch my arms.
- Well...
294
00:18:27,013 --> 00:18:29,925
...I think I found another clue.
GUNN: She's not wrong.
295
00:18:30,093 --> 00:18:32,527
CORDELIA:
Okay, this is even less funny.
296
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,643
What the hell is that?
297
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:38,491
ANGEL:
I knew it.
298
00:18:38,653 --> 00:18:40,644
It's the devil.
299
00:18:40,933 --> 00:18:43,766
Why is the devil sleepy?
300
00:18:46,573 --> 00:18:49,326
- This ain't your business, kid.
CONNOR: No.
301
00:18:51,813 --> 00:18:53,485
This is my bad mood.
302
00:19:05,173 --> 00:19:07,004
This is my business.
303
00:19:11,253 --> 00:19:12,527
Are you hurt?
304
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:15,526
They were gonna kill me.
Bastards.
305
00:19:15,693 --> 00:19:18,207
- Well, you're safe now.
- Whoa, whoa!
306
00:19:19,093 --> 00:19:22,051
Hey, baby...
307
00:19:22,253 --> 00:19:25,882
...you saved my life.
Don't you want your reward?
308
00:19:27,053 --> 00:19:31,729
I can give you a nice reward.
309
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:33,452
Uh...
310
00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:38,243
Yeah, okay.
311
00:19:38,933 --> 00:19:40,446
You got 50 bucks?
312
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,251
What for?
313
00:19:43,293 --> 00:19:45,409
You got nothing.
314
00:19:45,613 --> 00:19:49,128
- Wait! Hey, I saved you.
- You still don't ride free, junior.
315
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:52,609
Why don't you run home to Mama?
Maybe she'll give you a treat...
316
00:19:52,813 --> 00:19:54,804
...for being such a good boy.
317
00:19:55,813 --> 00:19:57,724
LORNE:
Classy girl.
318
00:19:57,893 --> 00:20:00,965
And poor Connor.
Engine revving and stuck in park.
319
00:20:01,773 --> 00:20:03,172
Well, enough about him.
320
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:05,164
Meanwhile, guess what I'm doing
for fun?
321
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:07,967
I say we cut his head off.
322
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:10,522
He may have information we need.
When he wakes up...
323
00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:13,890
We don't know if this tape is gonna
hold him. I say, cut his head off.
324
00:20:14,053 --> 00:20:16,203
- Thank you, Marie Antoinette.
- What'd you call me?
325
00:20:16,373 --> 00:20:20,446
Hey, hey. You two wanna pause
the homoerotic, buddy-cop session...
326
00:20:20,613 --> 00:20:22,444
...Long enough to explain this?
327
00:20:22,613 --> 00:20:25,173
Wooden stakes,
a guy with horns.
328
00:20:25,813 --> 00:20:29,647
And neither of you seems that surprised
when things just keep getting weirder.
329
00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:32,407
They really are.
330
00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:35,482
Have you got any weed?
331
00:20:35,893 --> 00:20:40,045
All right, I'm going to let you
all in on something...
332
00:20:40,213 --> 00:20:43,364
...you may
have trouble comprehending.
333
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:46,047
- But I assure you that however...
- Vampires are real.
334
00:20:46,253 --> 00:20:48,323
- I was telling!
- Vampires are all over L.A.
335
00:20:48,493 --> 00:20:50,563
I been fighting them my whole life.
336
00:20:51,693 --> 00:20:54,526
- That creature's a vampire?
- No, never seen nothing like that.
337
00:20:54,693 --> 00:20:56,046
I have!
338
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,285
It's a demon.
339
00:20:59,933 --> 00:21:03,812
Probably of the
Karathmamanyuhg family.
340
00:21:03,973 --> 00:21:06,407
You see, some of us have slightly
broader experience...
341
00:21:06,573 --> 00:21:08,370
How do you kill it?
342
00:21:09,493 --> 00:21:14,248
Well, I know this breed is nocturnal
and feeds on roots...
343
00:21:14,413 --> 00:21:17,405
...or possibly human effluvia.
344
00:21:17,573 --> 00:21:19,165
And...
345
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:22,166
...it's a horned race...
- So you know jack.
346
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:24,528
- They're nocturnal.
- I'm gonna get me an axe.
347
00:21:24,693 --> 00:21:26,365
- Hold on.
- Don't matter what it is.
348
00:21:26,573 --> 00:21:29,770
- It looks wrong, it dies.
- Not till we find out...
349
00:21:29,973 --> 00:21:31,691
Oh! Quit it!
350
00:21:31,853 --> 00:21:34,890
- Ow! Get off my...
- Watch the arms! Watch the arms!
351
00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:36,287
Are you gonna stop them?
352
00:21:36,453 --> 00:21:40,366
About time the English got
what's coming. I'm rooting for the slave.
353
00:21:42,293 --> 00:21:44,488
I know I'm still unconscious
during this part...
354
00:21:44,653 --> 00:21:46,371
...but can you believe these mooks?
355
00:21:46,573 --> 00:21:48,450
[GRUNTING]
356
00:21:48,613 --> 00:21:49,887
Enough, okay?
357
00:21:50,533 --> 00:21:53,923
If head cheese here has a theory,
then let's hear it!
358
00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:03,246
There are stories
at the Watcher's Academy of a test...
359
00:22:03,413 --> 00:22:07,122
...a secret gauntlet which only
the most cunning can survive.
360
00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:09,249
You're locked in a house
with a vicious...
361
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:12,086
...deadly vampire,
and you have to kill him...
362
00:22:12,253 --> 00:22:13,925
...before he kills you.
363
00:22:16,093 --> 00:22:18,607
- It's been done in the past with slayers.
- Slayer?
364
00:22:18,813 --> 00:22:19,882
The band?
365
00:22:20,853 --> 00:22:22,286
No, it...
366
00:22:22,933 --> 00:22:26,403
The point is, this could be a test.
367
00:22:26,573 --> 00:22:30,009
The weapons, the maze-like locale,
the innocent civilians...
368
00:22:30,213 --> 00:22:33,649
...and a mysterious
Karathmamanyuhg demon.
369
00:22:34,893 --> 00:22:36,485
- It's a test!
- I ain't a civilian.
370
00:22:36,693 --> 00:22:40,242
- I been killing vamps since I was 12.
- Which only supports my theory.
371
00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:43,168
You must be here
in an advisory capacity.
372
00:22:43,373 --> 00:22:45,682
I think I'm here in
a chop-that-head-off capacity.
373
00:22:45,853 --> 00:22:48,925
- I don't give a damn about no test.
- Are you always this grouchy?
374
00:22:49,093 --> 00:22:52,290
When I wake up with insane white folks
trying to tell me what to do.
375
00:22:52,493 --> 00:22:56,247
The day I take orders
from guys like you is the day I...
376
00:22:56,413 --> 00:22:57,402
Not even gonna happen.
377
00:22:57,893 --> 00:23:00,566
CORDELIA: Keep explaining
why we're not walking out that door.
378
00:23:02,453 --> 00:23:04,648
Because they did something to us.
379
00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,850
They changed us.
380
00:23:09,893 --> 00:23:11,849
You mean this is about my hair?
381
00:23:12,013 --> 00:23:13,685
I sort of see his point.
382
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:16,771
Not one of y'all
looks exactly 17.
383
00:23:16,973 --> 00:23:22,809
It's like time's been pushed forward,
like we missed a bunch of years.
384
00:23:24,213 --> 00:23:26,010
I kind of have filled out even more.
385
00:23:26,213 --> 00:23:27,646
And...
386
00:23:27,813 --> 00:23:30,407
...I apparently ain't gonna.
387
00:23:31,573 --> 00:23:35,532
I feel cold inside.
388
00:23:35,733 --> 00:23:39,169
This is so unfair!
I'm a craggy 20-something?
389
00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:40,812
What about prom?
390
00:23:40,973 --> 00:23:43,282
Could be that demon
put a whammy on us.
391
00:23:43,453 --> 00:23:46,809
So you think if we kill this vampire,
they'd take off the spell whammy...
392
00:23:46,973 --> 00:23:48,964
...and we can go back
to being ourselves?
393
00:23:49,173 --> 00:23:52,131
- And never see each other again?
- We can go about our business.
394
00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:54,244
- And never see each other again?
GUNN: Great.
395
00:23:54,453 --> 00:23:56,409
So we go vamp hunting.
396
00:23:56,573 --> 00:23:58,643
This place looks pretty big.
I say two groups.
397
00:23:58,813 --> 00:24:02,772
Great. I'm going with tall, dark and
"slightly less pathetic than you two."
398
00:24:02,933 --> 00:24:05,083
- We'll try the rooms.
- We'll look downstairs.
399
00:24:05,253 --> 00:24:08,609
But remember, if you find the vampire,
it's a vicious animal.
400
00:24:08,773 --> 00:24:11,685
Just try to draw him toward us.
401
00:24:11,893 --> 00:24:14,851
Don't worry.
We'll win this day, I assure you.
402
00:24:15,013 --> 00:24:18,369
I'm ready.
I'm okay.
403
00:24:19,213 --> 00:24:22,523
It'd be cooler if we could
score some weed, though.
404
00:24:27,493 --> 00:24:30,610
God, there's like a million rooms.
405
00:24:30,813 --> 00:24:32,804
[MUSIC PLAYING FROM RADIO]
406
00:24:35,333 --> 00:24:37,164
Minstrels.
407
00:24:48,413 --> 00:24:49,971
How did...?
408
00:24:50,133 --> 00:24:52,886
You stopped the tiny men
from singing.
409
00:24:53,053 --> 00:24:55,806
You really are far from home,
aren't you?
410
00:24:58,693 --> 00:25:03,164
I tell you, if I get through this,
I'm gonna have a great cup of ale.
411
00:25:03,333 --> 00:25:05,893
I don't care what Father says
it does to you.
412
00:25:07,973 --> 00:25:13,206
Maybe we should just sit tight and let
the vampire experts deal with this thing.
413
00:25:13,853 --> 00:25:16,321
I'm sorry for acting so...
414
00:25:16,493 --> 00:25:18,802
...womanish.
- Oh, you're not...
415
00:25:20,093 --> 00:25:23,529
- Really not womanish.
- And you're very sweet.
416
00:25:24,613 --> 00:25:26,843
You don't know the half of it.
417
00:25:27,973 --> 00:25:31,932
What is it about danger
that makes...
418
00:25:33,013 --> 00:25:35,447
Makes your blood just...
419
00:25:37,053 --> 00:25:38,884
What's wrong?
420
00:25:39,173 --> 00:25:41,004
Nothing.
Excuse me.
421
00:25:51,773 --> 00:25:55,049
- I'm invisible.
- No, you're not.
422
00:25:55,293 --> 00:25:57,124
Oh, excuse me.
423
00:26:20,613 --> 00:26:24,162
- What's going on?
- I'm almost finished.
424
00:26:30,333 --> 00:26:32,164
I'm a vampire.
425
00:26:33,453 --> 00:26:35,205
They're gonna kill me.
426
00:26:41,533 --> 00:26:44,366
Well, those were some
exciting products. Am I right?
427
00:26:44,533 --> 00:26:46,524
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING]
428
00:26:46,893 --> 00:26:50,329
Mm. Let's all think about
buying some of those.
429
00:26:50,573 --> 00:26:53,485
But if I can bring it down a moment.
430
00:26:55,093 --> 00:26:59,723
Is there anything worse than
feeling like you're all alone?
431
00:26:59,893 --> 00:27:02,885
Like you're the only person in the
world who thinks how you do...
432
00:27:03,053 --> 00:27:05,203
...and if anyone else found out
they'd drive...
433
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:08,092
...a pointy wooden thing
through your heart?
434
00:27:08,933 --> 00:27:11,163
And as for our fearless
vampire killers...
435
00:27:17,533 --> 00:27:21,970
I just don't think we should be
ruling out the idea of aliens.
436
00:27:23,413 --> 00:27:28,168
I mean, he is a greenish
sort of fella.
437
00:27:28,573 --> 00:27:31,770
And us being asleep all that time.
438
00:27:31,973 --> 00:27:34,203
I mean, think about it a minute.
439
00:27:34,413 --> 00:27:36,847
They could have been doing
heaven knows what.
440
00:27:37,493 --> 00:27:41,406
I can just see myself lying on a table...
441
00:27:41,613 --> 00:27:46,323
...no clothes, no will,
while they probed and explored...
442
00:27:46,493 --> 00:27:51,408
...and did whatever they wanted
to my naked, helpless body.
443
00:27:52,093 --> 00:27:55,688
- It's horrible.
- Horrible, yes.
444
00:27:56,893 --> 00:27:58,804
But I assure you,
this is demonic work.
445
00:27:59,453 --> 00:28:03,844
And they're not nearly
so exploratory.
446
00:28:05,093 --> 00:28:06,731
Don't be afraid.
447
00:28:06,893 --> 00:28:09,361
Ain't nothing here.
It's getting old.
448
00:28:09,533 --> 00:28:12,127
Well, let's not give up probe.
449
00:28:15,053 --> 00:28:17,328
Hope, give up hope.
450
00:28:17,533 --> 00:28:19,330
We're not...
451
00:28:28,813 --> 00:28:31,646
- Any luck?
- Saw no vampires of any kind anywhere.
452
00:28:32,173 --> 00:28:35,245
WESLEY: Did you check every room?
- The ones that wanted turn-down service.
453
00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:37,722
There's five floors. My feet hurt.
454
00:28:37,893 --> 00:28:39,724
- You finish.
- This is a waste of time.
455
00:28:39,893 --> 00:28:42,168
I agree.
There's nothing here.
456
00:28:42,333 --> 00:28:46,611
This place is evil. I think that
I should leave now because of the evil.
457
00:28:46,773 --> 00:28:49,571
- Don't be a fool!
- Good luck, all.
458
00:28:51,453 --> 00:28:53,603
- So we're all locked in, huh?
- Excuse me.
459
00:28:53,773 --> 00:28:58,563
Did I just get the brush off?
Did a guy just bail on me?
460
00:28:58,813 --> 00:29:01,122
There really is
some sort of horrible spell.
461
00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:03,005
Do you think Liam's okay out there?
462
00:29:03,173 --> 00:29:05,892
Something's eating him,
at least he ain't as bored as me.
463
00:29:06,053 --> 00:29:07,645
Joke all you like.
464
00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:11,888
Liam, right now, may be facing horrors
he's never even imagined.
465
00:29:13,453 --> 00:29:15,569
[HORNS HONKING]
466
00:29:25,213 --> 00:29:26,407
FRED:
Liam!
467
00:29:26,573 --> 00:29:28,291
- Demons!
- Really?
468
00:29:28,493 --> 00:29:29,608
Told you.
469
00:29:29,813 --> 00:29:33,283
- How many?
- Hundreds, screaming.
470
00:29:33,493 --> 00:29:36,212
- Will they try to get in?
- I don't think they saw me.
471
00:29:36,373 --> 00:29:38,443
I guess we really better
solve this puzzle.
472
00:29:39,133 --> 00:29:42,250
- What type of demons, would you say?
- Shiny.
473
00:29:44,013 --> 00:29:46,129
Yep, I still got it.
474
00:29:46,333 --> 00:29:49,211
So we gotta check the rooms?
Because I'm bored just saying it.
475
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,768
Wouldn't the vampire
be coming after us anyhow?
476
00:29:51,973 --> 00:29:53,247
Aren't we vittles?
477
00:29:53,453 --> 00:29:55,125
WESLEY:
And he should be starving.
478
00:29:55,773 --> 00:29:59,243
But I also happen to think that further
searching would be pointless.
479
00:29:59,413 --> 00:30:02,166
I think the council has been
far cleverer than I imagined.
480
00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:05,166
- Ooh. How?
- Yeah, speech, speech.
481
00:30:05,333 --> 00:30:09,372
Five people, each unknown
to each other, far from home...
482
00:30:09,573 --> 00:30:12,041
...trapped together at night.
483
00:30:12,213 --> 00:30:16,764
I submit that the bloodsucking fiend
may be closer than we dared suspect.
484
00:30:16,973 --> 00:30:18,611
- It may be...
- I'll search the rooms.
485
00:30:18,813 --> 00:30:21,850
- I was getting to the good part!
- Can't just wait for the vampire.
486
00:30:22,013 --> 00:30:24,925
- I'll just flush him out and...
- That it may be one of us!
487
00:30:25,133 --> 00:30:27,772
- Ugh. You're kidding.
WESLEY: Would that I were, Miss Chase.
488
00:30:27,973 --> 00:30:29,804
But the simple fact is...
489
00:30:30,013 --> 00:30:33,403
...the fiend has been
under our noses the entire time...
490
00:30:33,573 --> 00:30:35,643
...waiting for the moment to strike!
491
00:30:38,733 --> 00:30:42,931
See? The English is stupid.
Let's have a different theory.
492
00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:44,566
I'm not quite finished.
493
00:30:46,813 --> 00:30:49,327
I think it's only fair
that everyone has a turn.
494
00:30:49,493 --> 00:30:53,372
The cross obviously doesn't affect me
or our friend the pugilist.
495
00:30:53,533 --> 00:30:57,048
Oh, your ass better pray
I don't look that word up.
496
00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:03,012
[SIGHS]
497
00:31:16,053 --> 00:31:19,409
See? No vampire here.
I'm just like the rest of you.
498
00:31:19,613 --> 00:31:21,171
[SMOLDERING]
499
00:31:22,373 --> 00:31:25,251
- Does anyone else here...?
- Look, the devil's awake!
500
00:31:27,893 --> 00:31:28,882
[GROANING]
501
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,691
Don't get too close!
502
00:31:31,613 --> 00:31:36,084
Oh, guys. Hey, that was quite
a whammy.
503
00:31:36,253 --> 00:31:40,166
A trip through the transitive nightfall
of diamonds, if you know what I mean.
504
00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:43,530
- It speaks madness.
- Hey, here's a funny sidebar.
505
00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:46,924
I'm tied to a chair, again!
What the hell's going on?
506
00:31:47,093 --> 00:31:50,165
We were hoping you would
enlighten us, spawn of evil.
507
00:31:50,373 --> 00:31:55,970
Oh, dear. I'm starting to suspect my
sure-fire, hit spell closed out of town.
508
00:31:56,253 --> 00:31:59,689
Did anything go right? Anything?
Did Cordy at least get her memory back?
509
00:31:59,853 --> 00:32:02,572
Just tell us
where the vampire is, fiend.
510
00:32:02,733 --> 00:32:05,725
What are you talking about?
There aren't any vampires here.
511
00:32:07,133 --> 00:32:08,930
Well, I mean,
except for our boy here.
512
00:32:10,653 --> 00:32:12,405
Lying devil-man.
513
00:32:12,573 --> 00:32:14,928
Oh, like my spell made you
not a vampire anymore?
514
00:32:15,573 --> 00:32:17,962
- My magic isn't that...
- Shut your mouth!
515
00:32:20,293 --> 00:32:21,487
Ow!
516
00:32:28,213 --> 00:32:32,126
- It's not... He just...
- Well, a mystery solved.
517
00:32:32,333 --> 00:32:35,086
Explains the lame-ass cover story
about being Irish too.
518
00:32:35,293 --> 00:32:38,729
Is this a convenient time to point out
you left me alone with him, genius?
519
00:32:38,933 --> 00:32:41,731
- Well, I never touched her.
- So clearly, deviant.
520
00:32:41,933 --> 00:32:46,449
- I'm not!
- Vampires are all the same, my friend.
521
00:32:46,653 --> 00:32:49,565
- There's nothing human about them.
- Right. You ain't a person.
522
00:32:49,773 --> 00:32:51,968
- Just dust.
- I don't wanna hurt anyone.
523
00:32:52,173 --> 00:32:55,802
- What do we do?
- Don't fear. It's under control.
524
00:32:56,013 --> 00:32:57,412
Are you sure?
525
00:32:57,573 --> 00:32:58,642
[GRUNTS]
526
00:32:58,853 --> 00:33:01,162
Sorry.
I mean, ha!
527
00:33:07,613 --> 00:33:09,410
ANGEL:
You want a vampire, then?
528
00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:11,365
I guess I'm your man.
529
00:33:11,533 --> 00:33:15,572
I guess I'll start feeding
on your corpses, starting with the girls.
530
00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:19,848
So who's gonna be the first course?
Hard to choose between you two girls.
531
00:33:20,053 --> 00:33:21,725
What do you mean, it's hard?
532
00:33:23,293 --> 00:33:25,807
I mean, she's the tasty one.
533
00:33:26,013 --> 00:33:28,891
Look at her.
Half of her is neck!
534
00:33:29,493 --> 00:33:33,122
Miss Chase, Miss Burkle...
535
00:33:34,533 --> 00:33:35,966
...run.
536
00:33:46,573 --> 00:33:48,768
ANGEL:
It baffles me.
537
00:33:49,133 --> 00:33:54,491
You liked me so much before.
Now I can't even get a little kiss?
538
00:33:59,653 --> 00:34:01,245
I can see you.
539
00:34:04,533 --> 00:34:07,491
I seem to be strong too,
and fast!
540
00:34:07,693 --> 00:34:09,365
It's not so bad, this vampire thing.
541
00:34:09,573 --> 00:34:12,565
Well, I've got a super power
of my own, hotshot.
542
00:34:12,973 --> 00:34:14,167
What's that now?
543
00:34:14,373 --> 00:34:16,364
[SCREAMING]
544
00:34:24,133 --> 00:34:26,044
That really is inhuman.
545
00:34:26,253 --> 00:34:29,165
But what good do you really think
that could...?
546
00:34:30,373 --> 00:34:32,489
Yes, that one!
547
00:34:33,373 --> 00:34:35,489
Kill that one, please!
548
00:34:47,173 --> 00:34:50,848
- Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
- Why did he attack you?
549
00:34:51,053 --> 00:34:52,247
Well, who wouldn't?
550
00:34:52,453 --> 00:34:56,651
Look, you're a wee bit chess club
for my usual beat...
551
00:34:56,853 --> 00:34:59,686
...but you kill that freak
and you're getting a big reward.
552
00:35:01,693 --> 00:35:04,571
- You mean it?
- Hoo doggy.
553
00:35:26,613 --> 00:35:29,002
I'm a bit tired of being bullied.
554
00:35:40,373 --> 00:35:41,692
[GASPS]
555
00:35:44,853 --> 00:35:48,368
LORNE: Um, sweetie?
- Huh?
556
00:35:49,093 --> 00:35:52,608
Can I take a minute of your time?
We have a huge problem.
557
00:35:52,813 --> 00:35:55,532
- But I can solve it.
- Why should I trust you?
558
00:35:56,173 --> 00:35:57,970
Because we're buddies, Freddikans.
559
00:35:58,973 --> 00:36:01,931
We did a spell, it went wrong,
but we can make it right.
560
00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:06,883
Is the bottle still there?
On the floor, in the circle?
561
00:36:07,053 --> 00:36:10,090
You mean those bitty bits
of broken glass?
562
00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:14,366
Oh, balls. Well, we can still do it,
maybe one at a time.
563
00:36:14,573 --> 00:36:16,689
You just gotta untie me first.
564
00:36:17,653 --> 00:36:19,006
I don't know.
565
00:36:19,933 --> 00:36:21,571
Oh, Fred.
566
00:36:21,773 --> 00:36:24,048
Look into your heart.
567
00:36:24,253 --> 00:36:26,050
Am I evil?
568
00:36:36,573 --> 00:36:40,691
You're stronger than the rest.
Are you not a vampire yourself, then?
569
00:36:40,853 --> 00:36:43,162
- You don't remember?
- I remember waking up here...
570
00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:46,882
...in this madhouse
with that fine lot of hypocrites.
571
00:36:47,933 --> 00:36:49,810
- Hypocrites?
- I'm supposed to be evil...
572
00:36:49,973 --> 00:36:53,932
...but they attack me without cause.
Gang up on me because I'm different.
573
00:36:54,133 --> 00:36:57,409
- They're as bad as my father.
- Fathers...
574
00:36:59,533 --> 00:37:02,331
...don't they suck?
- Say one thing, then:
575
00:37:02,493 --> 00:37:04,723
"Be good. Fear God.
Do as you're told!"
576
00:37:04,893 --> 00:37:07,532
And the whole while, I know
he's had his share of sinning.
577
00:37:07,733 --> 00:37:09,928
Sounds kind of like my father.
578
00:37:10,133 --> 00:37:13,921
- Is he a self-righteous bastard?
- You'd be amazed.
579
00:37:17,653 --> 00:37:21,168
- You're afraid to fight me?
- Truth to tell, I'm not much for fighting.
580
00:37:21,373 --> 00:37:24,365
I'd rather be satisfying my sinful urges
with the Chase girl.
581
00:37:24,573 --> 00:37:28,486
- You keep the hell away from her.
- Oh, the girl's yours, then?
582
00:37:29,133 --> 00:37:30,566
That's right.
583
00:37:30,733 --> 00:37:32,803
She never did mention you
when we were alone...
584
00:37:41,973 --> 00:37:43,691
Hurry up, I'm nervous.
585
00:37:44,973 --> 00:37:47,043
Okay, okay.
586
00:37:53,413 --> 00:37:55,369
Oh, Lord.
587
00:37:55,573 --> 00:37:57,928
- Well, did it work?
- Wait!
588
00:38:25,813 --> 00:38:27,963
Are you happy now?
589
00:38:29,093 --> 00:38:31,129
I didn't ask for this.
590
00:38:32,373 --> 00:38:35,206
I didn't ask to be attacked.
591
00:38:35,413 --> 00:38:38,166
I didn't ask to be a freak.
592
00:38:39,413 --> 00:38:42,405
Hell, I didn't even ask to be born.
593
00:38:45,453 --> 00:38:47,045
Wait.
594
00:38:49,453 --> 00:38:52,013
What do you want?
Another beating?
595
00:38:52,653 --> 00:38:54,132
Oh, I so almost had you.
596
00:38:55,533 --> 00:38:58,366
- Not in a dream.
- Hold it!
597
00:38:59,093 --> 00:39:02,210
Nobody kill anybody!
Please?
598
00:39:19,213 --> 00:39:21,966
So all's well that ends well,
right, kiddies?
599
00:39:34,933 --> 00:39:38,972
But since nothing ended all that well,
I guess I gotta say that, well...
600
00:39:39,133 --> 00:39:41,328
...nothing was well.
601
00:39:42,893 --> 00:39:44,372
See, none of us knew it then...
602
00:39:44,533 --> 00:39:48,162
...but the sequence of events
was a little different than we thought.
603
00:39:48,333 --> 00:39:49,766
It went more like this.
604
00:40:07,053 --> 00:40:08,452
Well...
605
00:40:08,613 --> 00:40:11,730
...it's been a long night for everyone.
606
00:40:12,373 --> 00:40:15,570
I hope you've enjoyed my tale so much
that you tip your waitresses...
607
00:40:15,733 --> 00:40:19,248
...with obnoxious abandon.
MAN: Finish it!
608
00:40:20,133 --> 00:40:24,126
Always leave them wanting more, kiddo.
That's the rule.
609
00:40:25,173 --> 00:40:27,812
Anyway, I've got no more to tell.
610
00:40:27,973 --> 00:40:30,123
Applause, applause.
611
00:40:30,293 --> 00:40:33,968
I got a Sea Breeze that's gonna leave
with someone else if I don't get to her.
612
00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:40,487
So you kids be good and go home,
hug your families while you can.
613
00:40:41,013 --> 00:40:43,049
And stay away from the magic.
614
00:40:43,213 --> 00:40:44,487
Trust me.
615
00:40:48,053 --> 00:40:49,645
Cordy.
616
00:40:51,973 --> 00:40:53,372
I can't.
617
00:40:54,493 --> 00:40:56,609
Angel, I'm sorry.
618
00:40:56,773 --> 00:40:58,411
You remember.
619
00:41:00,013 --> 00:41:02,129
I remember all of it.
620
00:41:04,413 --> 00:41:06,005
All of it.
621
00:41:06,173 --> 00:41:08,607
And I have to be alone.
622
00:41:08,813 --> 00:41:10,405
Please.
623
00:41:11,133 --> 00:41:13,806
For a while.
It's too... I...
624
00:41:14,173 --> 00:41:15,845
Cordelia.
625
00:41:21,973 --> 00:41:23,804
Were we in love?
626
00:41:27,253 --> 00:41:29,050
We were.
627
00:42:34,253 --> 00:42:35,242
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628
00:42:35,413 --> 00:42:36,402
[ENGLISH SDH]
629
00:42:37,305 --> 00:43:37,420
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