1 00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:01,967 Black. 2 00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:07,435 All important movies start with a black screen. 3 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:12,462 And music. Edgy, scary, music 4 00:00:12,487 --> 00:00:16,573 that would make a parent or studio executive nervous. 5 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:23,855 And logos. Really long and dramatic logos. 6 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:29,118 Warner Bross. Why not Warner Brothers? I dunno. 7 00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,456 DC. 8 00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:38,301 The house that Batman built. 9 00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:42,502 Yeah, what Superman. Come at me bro. 10 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,478 I'm your Kryptonite. 11 00:00:51,190 --> 00:00:56,093 Hmm. Not sure what Ratpac does, but that logo is macho. 12 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,682 I dig it. 13 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,518 Okay. 14 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,398 Get yourself ready for some... 15 00:01:03,423 --> 00:01:05,254 Get yourself ready for some... reading. 16 00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,366 "If you want to make the world a better place, 17 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:11,872 take a look at yourself and make a change." 18 00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,329 take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo!" 19 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,906 No, I said that! 20 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:18,001 Batman is very wise. 21 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:22,472 I also have huge pecs. And a 9 pack. 22 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,574 Yeah I've got an extra ab. 23 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:26,952 Now, let's start the movie. 24 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:32,353 [GOTHAM AIRSPACE, 10:25] 25 00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:40,500 Gotham Tower, this is MacGuffin Airlines, Flight 1138. 26 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:45,365 We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17000 pounds of C4, 27 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:50,172 About 150 cute little plastic bomb type bombs, and 2 best friends! 28 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:54,235 And request permission to fly over the most crime-ridden city in the world, over. 29 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:57,374 I'm just looking at all the guys faces here in the control tower. 30 00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,442 - I'm good. - Sounds good to me - Let's do it! 31 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:02,286 Yep, I think we're cool with that. 32 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:10,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 33 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:28,909 Gentlemen, breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 34 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,418 - What was that? - One of us should check it out. 35 00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,477 - Okay. - Scissors paper rock... 36 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,250 - Scissors. - Paper. 37 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:40,050 - You always do paper! - I'm a loser at home, and a loser at work. 38 00:02:41,771 --> 00:02:43,371 Holy cow! 39 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,491 Captain Dale, is everything okay? 40 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:53,495 I'm afraid Captain Dale had to bail. 41 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,839 I'm your new co-pilot, and I always come to work... 42 00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:00,270 ...with a smile. 43 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,509 - You should be terrified. - Why? 44 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:10,820 Because I will be taking over the city. 45 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,351 - What? - Batman will stop you. 46 00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,484 - He always stops you. - No he doesn't! 47 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:19,932 - What about that time with the 2 boats? - This is better than the 2 boats. 48 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:26,446 Well tonight is gonna be different! Tonight is my greatest plan yet. 49 00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:29,407 Trust me, Batman's never gonna see it coming. [GOTHAM CITY ENERGY PLANT] 50 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:33,043 - Like the time with the parade and the Prince music? - Hey, quiet! 51 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,307 - Night, Steve. - Take it easy, Jeff. 52 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:39,515 Man I really like that guy. I sure hope nothing bad happens to him. 53 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,781 ♪ Nothing bad ever happens to me. 54 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,358 What the-? 55 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:50,419 Your city is under attack by Gotham's greatest criminal minds. 56 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,397 Including... 57 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,229 The Riddler. 58 00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:57,635 - Scarecrow. - Pizza delivery! 59 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,373 - Bane. - Hello! 60 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,467 - Two-Face. - We need that door open, baby! 61 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,445 - Catwoman. - (Meow meow) You're in! (meow meow) 62 00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,479 I'm jumping out the way! 63 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:13,417 And let's not forget, Clayface! 64 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,353 Pew pew pew! 65 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,448 - Poison Ivy. - Pew pew pew! 66 00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:20,055 - Freeze! - No, you freeze! 67 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,253 Mr Freeze. 68 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:22,483 Penguin. 69 00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,395 Crazy Quilt, Eraser. 70 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,523 Polka-Dot Man. Mime. Tarantula. 71 00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:29,832 King Tut, Orca, Killer Moth, March Harriot, Zodiac Master, 72 00:04:29,845 --> 00:04:32,315 Gentleman Ghost, Clock King, Calender Man, Kite Man, 73 00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:36,602 Cat Man, Zebra Man, and the Condiment King! 74 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:40,470 - Okay, are you making some of those up? - Nope, they're all real. 75 00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:42,344 Probably worth a Google. 76 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,509 [GOTHAM CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT] 77 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,381 - Hey watch it! - Commissioner Gordon! 78 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,377 - What is it O'Hara? - We just got a report! 79 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:51,222 All the C-grade villains have broken into the energy plant! 80 00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:53,316 - What are we gonna do, Sir? - The only thing we ever do... 81 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,450 flip the switch to the Bat-Signal! 82 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,429 - Flip! - Commissioner, are you there? 83 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,996 The Bat-Signal, she's been egged! 84 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,326 It's Egghead, Sir, I'm well aware of his work. 85 00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:07,295 Dear gosh, you destroyed the Bat-Signal! You have thought of everything! 86 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:12,471 Yeah, I know, and when I take over Gotham City... OPENING REACTOR CORE DOORS 87 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:17,472 Batman will grovel at the feet of his greatest enemy. 88 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:20,285 Me. The Joker! 89 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,516 - Joker, do you read me? - 10-4, girl buddy. 90 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:29,184 - We're ready for you, sugar plum. - Well then, let's raise the roof! 91 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,829 Fire in the hole! 92 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:44,136 - O'Hara, have you tried the Bat-Phone? - Yes, but all I'm getting is this hold music! 93 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,311 I love it. 94 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,341 - I want snipers trained on that building. - You bet! 95 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,442 - I want water and air support yesterday! - I'm on it, Sir! 96 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:56,353 - And I need SWAT here now! - Phone call for Commissioner Gordan. 97 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,345 Hello, Batman? 98 00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,382 Hey Jimmy, It's The Jokes! 99 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:01,360 Nobody calls you that. 100 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:06,331 - No, people do call me that. Okay listen up! - Go, go, go! 101 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:11,394 At this very moment, an unnecessarily complicated bomb is being attached 102 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,447 to the inside of the main energy core, 103 00:06:14,472 --> 00:06:18,167 if the Mayor isn't here in 5 minutes to negotiate the city's surrender, 104 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:22,213 then I shall destroy Gotham City. 105 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,415 I did something! 106 00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:27,211 Doctor, that sounds frightening. And overly complicated. Talk us through it. 107 00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:30,513 Well, I don't wanna scare any small children who may be listening 108 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,473 but it's a little-known fact that Gotham City is built 109 00:06:33,498 --> 00:06:36,484 on a bunch of flimsy plates stuck together. 110 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:39,366 There's literally nothing beneath us, 111 00:06:39,391 --> 00:06:42,511 except an infinite abyss that smells like dirty underwear. 112 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:46,332 If Joker's bomb were to go off, these plates would break apart, 113 00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:50,957 plunging every Gotham citizen into the eternal abyss forever. 114 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,000 And you wouldn't want that now, would you? 115 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:56,115 Now get me the Mayor! Joker out. 116 00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:58,410 Madam Mayor, I cannot ask you to do this! 117 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:01,487 - Jim, did you find Batman? - No Ma'am. 118 00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:05,355 Then we have no choice. The Joker has the upper hand. 119 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:08,158 We have to surrender Gotham City. 120 00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:11,887 - Oh no. - I'm sorry! 121 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:16,157 Flying Mayor package in right now. SWAT team get your stun guns ready. 122 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:17,396 - Non-lethal! - Yeah! 123 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:21,269 Lowering Mayor package through the hole. 124 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:27,439 - Madam Mayor, thanks for dropping by! - I've only got one thing to say to you, Joker. 125 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,473 - Well, you'd better make it fast. - Do you like to gamble? 126 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:34,049 - Oh, I certainly do. - Do you ever play roulette? 127 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,145 On occasion. 128 00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:38,323 - Let me give you a word of advice. - I'm all ears. 129 00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:41,183 - When playing roulette... - Yes? 130 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:43,487 Always bet on black. 131 00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:48,466 Batman!? What are you doing? You're completely outnumbered here, are you nuts!? 132 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,427 You wanna get nuts? Come on! Let's get nuts. 133 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,464 Because I just wrote a song about how I'm gonna kick all your butts. 134 00:07:55,551 --> 00:07:57,451 Stop him before he starts singing! 135 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 [♪ WHO'S THE (BAT)MAN] 136 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:05,300 ♪ In the darkest night (huh!) 137 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,000 ♪ I make the bad guys fall (huh!) 138 00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:11,749 ♪ There's a million heroes - Computer, overcompensate! 139 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,735 ♪ BUT I'M THE BEST OF THEM ALL! - I'm on my way, Sir. 140 00:08:14,851 --> 00:08:17,399 ♪ Who has the coolest gadgets? ♪ BATMAN! 141 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,400 ♪ Who has the tricked-out ride? ♪ BATMAN! 142 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,400 ♪ Who does the sickest backflips? ♪ BATMAN! 143 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,780 ♪ Na-na na-na na-na na-na ♪ BATMAN! 144 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,203 ♪ You think my muscles are big? - Thank you! 145 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,733 ♪ You haven't seen my brain 146 00:08:37,770 --> 00:08:40,070 ♪ Ladies, it's okay if you stare 147 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,179 ♪ CAUSE I'M A BILLIONAIRE! 148 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:48,056 Get it together guys, you're making me look bad in front of Batman! 149 00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,506 'Puter, where's the bomb? 150 00:08:49,531 --> 00:08:52,754 The bomb is located at the base of the energy core. 151 00:08:53,255 --> 00:08:56,355 ♪ I get the last laugh ♪ I get the final grin 152 00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:59,660 ♪ Throw you into the asylum ♪ with Harley Quinn 153 00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,200 ♪ Turn Two-Face ♪ to black-and-blue face 154 00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:05,341 ♪ I'm 100% not ♪ Bruce Wayne! 155 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,646 Kiss me Batman. 156 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,884 ♪ Who's the manliest man? ♪ BATMAN! 157 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,900 ♪ With the buns of steel? ♪ BATMAN! 158 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,330 ♪ Who could choke hold a bear? ♪ BATMAN! 159 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:20,173 ♪ Who never skips leg day? ♪ BATMAN! 160 00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:23,924 ♪ Who always pays their taxes? - NOT BATMAN! 161 00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:28,096 How is he beating all of you again!? 162 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,537 Because... 163 00:09:30,762 --> 00:09:32,062 I'm Batman! 164 00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:35,868 - It's gonna blow! - I'm Batman! 165 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,044 ♪ I'm Batman! 166 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:44,548 Hi Batman, so weird to keep running into you! 167 00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:51,595 Looks like your plan failed. 168 00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:55,986 It's only a matter of time before I take over Gotham City! 169 00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:58,310 Pew, pew, pew! 170 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,359 When does that ever happen? Computer? 171 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:06,395 Calculating... Never. 172 00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:09,939 You know why? Because I'm always one step ahead of you. 173 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,542 And I always get away! 174 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,607 Not this time. 175 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,076 Because this time... 176 00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:22,251 - I've got you. - Oh, yeah? 177 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,482 Well there's only one problem. 178 00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:26,514 Who's gonna defuse the bomb? 179 00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:33,294 It's gotta be one or the other, Batman. Save the city or catch your greatest enemy. 180 00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,459 - You can't do both. - I'm sorry, What'd you just say? 181 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:38,065 - You can't do both. - No, I mean the other thing. 182 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,061 Save the city or catch your greatest enemy? 183 00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:44,268 - You think you're my greatest enemy? - Yes, you're obsessed with me! 184 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,410 - No I'm not. - Yes you are. 185 00:10:45,434 --> 00:10:47,212 - No I'm not. - YES YOU ARE! 186 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,413 Who else drives you to one-up them the way that I do? 187 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,049 - Bane. - No he doesn't! 188 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,373 - Superman! - Superman's not a bad guy! 189 00:10:53,398 --> 00:10:56,298 Then I'd say that I don't currently have a bad guy. 190 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,358 I am fighting a few different people. 191 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,057 - What? - I like to fight around. 192 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:04,491 Okay look, I'm fine with you fighting other people, if you wanna do that, 193 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:08,398 but what we have is special. 194 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,961 - So when people ask you "who's your #1 bad guy", you say... - Superman. 195 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:17,331 Are you seriously saying that there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship? 196 00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:18,873 Woah. 197 00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,306 Let me tell you something, J-Bird. 198 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,483 Batman doesn't do 'ships'. 199 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,410 - What? - As in relation-ships. 200 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,422 There is no us. 201 00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:41,931 Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. 202 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:45,234 You mean nothing to me. 203 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:52,110 No-one does. 204 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,835 Hooray! [♪ FOREVER] 205 00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:28,310 - Batman! - Batman we love you! 206 00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:31,048 Thank you, I'm blushing super-hard under the mask! 207 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,074 Grazie Batman! 208 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,445 - Prego. - You're the best Batman! 209 00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:36,387 - Oh I'm humbled. - Thanks Batman! 210 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,157 - Super modest about it, thank you. - Batman, you're the greatest! 211 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,058 pray hands, pray hands. 212 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,253 - Thanks for saving the city! - You're welcome! 213 00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:47,165 - Batman I love you more than my kids! - So do I, guy! 214 00:12:52,013 --> 00:12:54,313 You're my hero, Batman! 215 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,974 I love my life. 216 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,089 - Computer. - Go ahead. 217 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,102 - Are we near the orphanage? - Yes. 218 00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:04,313 Great. Let's turn those frowns upside down. 219 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,289 Sounds like the Batmobile! 220 00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:13,489 No way! 221 00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:16,084 Hey orphans, look who's here! 222 00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,220 Hey kids! 223 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:21,392 Who wants a shot from the merch gun? 224 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,101 - Great. KABOOM! - A lunchbox! 225 00:13:24,102 --> 00:13:25,877 - KABOOM! - A sippy cup! 226 00:13:26,102 --> 00:13:27,602 - KABOOM! - A Batarang! 227 00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,335 The rest of you get Bat Bucks! KABOOM! 228 00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:35,507 Remember kids, if you want to be like Batman, take care of your abs. 229 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:39,048 - Batman out. - Batman! Batman! Batman! 230 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,321 Thanks Batman, you're my hero. 231 00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:09,604 [WAYNE MANOR, WAYNE ISLAND] 232 00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,279 - What is the password? - Iron Man sucks! 233 00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:14,548 Thank you. 234 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:18,055 It must be great to be Batman. 235 00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:22,049 I can only imagine he's going home right now, to party the night away 236 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:25,793 surrounded by scores of friends and lady tennis players. 237 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,733 Hey Computer. 238 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,304 I'm home. 239 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:46,948 Welcome home, Sir. Initializing Batcave operating system. 240 00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,847 Hey 'Puter. 241 00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:53,617 What's up, Batman. 242 00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:58,094 - Put this bomb in the museum. - Certainly, Sir. 243 00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:00,324 - Thank you. - No worries. 244 00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:02,457 Anything exciting happen when I was gone? 245 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:06,032 - You have 4 pieces of mail. - Great, what'd I get? 246 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:10,798 You have this weeks PennySaver, 2 bills, and a coupon for Bed Bath and Beyond. 247 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,505 It expires in 2 weeks, 248 00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:16,378 but I've heard that some stores will honor them past the expiry date. 249 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,475 - Copy that. - Also, Alfred is on the 17th floor 250 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:23,512 grouting tiles in the 2nd bathroom of the 5th master bedroom. 251 00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,118 Do you want me to tell Alfred you're home? 252 00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:28,422 No that's cool Computer. Thanks for the update. 253 00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:30,407 I should probably have some dinner. 254 00:15:30,432 --> 00:15:33,228 Alfred left your lobster thermidor in the fridge. 255 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:36,834 Oh that's my favorite! I can't wait. 256 00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:08,449 [NO SIGNAL] [DEVICE NOT DETECTED] 257 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,440 You... complete me. 258 00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:29,078 You had me at 'hello'. 259 00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,975 Love it. 260 00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:11,513 Hey, Mom. 261 00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,249 Hey, Dad. 262 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,357 I, uh... 263 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,455 I saved the city again today. 264 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:25,203 I wish you could've seen me. 265 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:28,429 I think you would have been really proud. 266 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,609 There you are. 267 00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:37,475 Oh, Alfred, I am so sorry! I have incredible reflexes. 268 00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,998 No it's my fault Sir, I should have known better 269 00:18:40,023 --> 00:18:42,319 than to sneak up on you like that. 270 00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:46,155 I was lost in thought, and as you know, when I'm in there I'm in deep. 271 00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:49,060 Were you looking at the old family pictures again? 272 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:53,325 The what? The old family... Oh yes, I see what you mean. 273 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:56,233 Look at that! The old gang. 274 00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:58,860 Yeah. No I wasn't! 275 00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:00,329 I see. 276 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:04,306 Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. 277 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:09,343 I've seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 278 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:16,400 and 1997, and 1995, and 1992, and 1989, and that weird one in 1966. 279 00:19:16,891 --> 00:19:19,655 Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now? 280 00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:23,255 I don't talk about feelings Alfred, I don't have any, I've never seen one, 281 00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:28,430 I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante and a heavy metal rapping machine. 282 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:31,459 I don't feel anything emotionally except rage. 283 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,405 24/7, 365, at a million percent. 284 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:38,399 And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. 285 00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:41,277 - Good night, Alfred. - Sir, it's morning. 286 00:19:41,578 --> 00:19:42,980 Hiss, ahh! 287 00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:47,746 Master Bruce, you live on an island figuratively and literally. 288 00:19:47,852 --> 00:19:48,883 Yeah, love it. 289 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,741 You can't spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, 290 00:19:51,866 --> 00:19:54,452 listening to angry music and staying up all night. 291 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:57,360 Yes, I can, because I'm Batman. 292 00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:03,934 But don't you think it's time you finally faced your greatest fear? 293 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:05,058 - Snakes? - No. 294 00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:05,697 - Clowns? - No. 295 00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:08,271 - Snake-Clowns? - Bruce, listen. 296 00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:12,501 Your greatest fear is... 297 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,944 ...being a part of a family again. 298 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,500 No, now it's Snake-Clowns, because you put that idea in my head. 299 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:30,495 - Sir- - Time for pushups! 1, 2... 300 00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:33,025 - We're going to 1000. - I'm afraid that's not possible, Sir. 301 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,124 It is possible. I'm already at 20. 302 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,169 You're scheduled to go to Jim Gordon's retirement party. 303 00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:42,230 - What? No! I don't wanna do that! - You're going to have a great time. 304 00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:44,367 - No, no, no. - You might meet some new people. 305 00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:47,309 - No, no, no. - Even make some new friends. 306 00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:52,443 No, no, no... 307 00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:53,183 NO! 308 00:20:53,184 --> 00:20:57,119 And before you go, we can do your favorite thing. 309 00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:59,291 Tuxedo dress-up party. 310 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,425 [♪ GIRLS KNOW HOW] 311 00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:10,468 - Sir, aren't you forgetting something? - Nope. 312 00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:13,370 - Your cowl. - My what now? 313 00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:16,405 Your armored face disguise. 314 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,011 Fine. 315 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,948 - Happy now? - Indubitably. 316 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,942 Good. Must be nice to be happy. 317 00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:30,253 Tonight on Metropolis In Focus, we have our favorite star. 318 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:33,651 - Superman! - What up, Gotham? 319 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,826 Superman, tell me how you feel about 320 00:21:36,851 --> 00:21:39,490 your recent banishment of Zod to the Phantom Zone? 321 00:21:39,498 --> 00:21:43,366 Yeah, look, it's complicated. 322 00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:49,273 Zod and I have had some pretty epic battles, you know, over the years, 323 00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:52,300 I don't believe I would be Superman without fighting Zod. 324 00:21:52,344 --> 00:21:56,274 See? Superman gets it. Why can't Batman? 325 00:21:56,481 --> 00:22:01,316 - Check it out guys, I built a CD rack. - Tada! 326 00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:07,286 How am I supposed to get Batman's respect when I'm working with these human farts? 327 00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:09,494 Boo boo, look at me. 328 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:13,025 You're too good for Batman. He needs to open his eyes, 329 00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,460 and see what it feels like when you're not around, okay? 330 00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:20,495 I couldn't put Zod in a regular prison, right? He's Zod! Come on! 331 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:26,275 No, he needed to go some place where he could never harm Metropolis ever again. 332 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,403 The Phantom Zone. 333 00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:30,126 Ah yes, the notorious space jail that houses 334 00:22:30,151 --> 00:22:32,449 the greatest supervillains of all time. 335 00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:36,587 - They got the sickest baddies up there! This guy: - RAAH! 336 00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:38,922 - And her... - I'll get you, my pretty. 337 00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:41,551 - To say nothing about him. - Wingardium Leviosa! 338 00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:43,994 - And these guys! - EXTERMINATE! 339 00:22:44,019 --> 00:22:46,918 I'm starting to get an idea, monkey face. 340 00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:56,363 Hey folks look alive, here we go, I'm gonna give you 3 poses, you ready? 341 00:22:56,408 --> 00:22:57,466 Kissy face. 342 00:22:57,476 --> 00:22:59,341 Oops, I did it again. 343 00:22:59,344 --> 00:23:03,337 And the Bad Boy, whatcha gonna do? I'm outta here. 344 00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:07,886 [COMMISSIONER JIM GORDAN RETIREMENT WINTER GALA] 345 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:12,280 - ♪ I'm starting with the man in the mirror - Any advice for the new Commissioner? 346 00:23:12,290 --> 00:23:15,292 As long as he knows how to push the button on the Bat-Signal, he'll be fine. 347 00:23:15,293 --> 00:23:18,252 - Bruce, I don't know how you did it... - You can't prove it, you didn't do it. 348 00:23:18,262 --> 00:23:22,962 - Mr Wayne, great to see you, come join us! - Mr. Prime Minister! 349 00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,737 - Woah! - ♪ Na na naa... 350 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,233 Bruce Wayne! 351 00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:33,100 - He's the greatest orphan of all time! - ♪ Shamone! Shamone! 352 00:23:34,444 --> 00:23:36,013 - Nice to meet you Mr Ambassador. - Mr Wayne! 353 00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:38,182 - You want a picture? - That'd be swell! 354 00:23:38,182 --> 00:23:40,417 Here we go, funny face! 355 00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:43,152 - Boom, keep it. - Woah, thanks Mr Wayne! 356 00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:45,483 - Call me Bruce, champ. - I'm just so jazzed to meet you Sir. 357 00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:48,154 - I'm sorry, did you say 'jazzed'? - Yeah! 358 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,390 My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick. 359 00:23:50,495 --> 00:23:53,430 - Well children can be cruel. - Great to see ya, Bruce! 360 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,400 - Nice to see you Sir. - I've got a question for you Sir. 361 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:56,562 Okay, hit me with it. 362 00:23:56,587 --> 00:23:58,369 Do you have any advice on how to get adopted? 363 00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,359 - Oh, yeah. - Oh you do? 364 00:23:59,404 --> 00:24:01,463 - Mr. Wayne, can I get an autograph? - Sure. 365 00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:04,408 - For example is teeth whitener a good idea? - Yes. Here you go, pal. 366 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:05,375 - Thanks. - Really? 367 00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:07,470 - Oh, yeah. - Looking good, Bruce. - Thank you so much. 368 00:24:07,479 --> 00:24:10,414 - What about eyeliner or foreign language? - Try both. 369 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:14,382 - Look! It's the new Commissioner! - Where? 370 00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:18,053 - Here she is, everyone. - Oh my God. 371 00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:23,187 [♪ I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT] 372 00:24:23,928 --> 00:24:26,420 Should I get experimental surgery 373 00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:29,999 to make my eyes larger and more vulnerable looking? 374 00:24:30,268 --> 00:24:32,537 Uhh, do that. 375 00:24:39,444 --> 00:24:42,311 Um, Mr. Wayne. 376 00:24:42,347 --> 00:24:45,048 Are you currently in the market to adopt a child? 377 00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:47,478 - Yeah. - Really? - Oh yeah. 378 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:50,044 Well! Are you looking for more of a base model orphan 379 00:24:50,069 --> 00:24:52,253 or one that has more upgraded features? 380 00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:55,350 - Cooking, driftwood art, gymnastic abilities? - Yep. Yep. Yep. 381 00:24:55,393 --> 00:24:58,328 - Closeup street magic ala David Blaine? - All of it, sounds great. 382 00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:02,460 Really? Because all of it sounds like me. 383 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:07,461 Mr. Wayne. Do you think you'd be interested in adopting me as your future orphan son? 384 00:25:07,472 --> 00:25:10,339 - Definately. - Oh, this is great! 385 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:14,472 All I want is to get adopted. So I can finally stop being... 386 00:25:15,881 --> 00:25:17,708 ...alone. 387 00:25:18,450 --> 00:25:22,318 We're gathered here tonight to mark the retirement of Jim Gordon. 388 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,921 - Goodbye. - And we wish him well 389 00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:29,187 on his South African jungle safari! - Thank you. 390 00:25:29,427 --> 00:25:33,420 Now, to introduce you to his exciting new replacement. 391 00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,524 Everyone meet your new Commissioner. 392 00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:38,203 [♪ I AM INVINCIBLE] 393 00:25:38,228 --> 00:25:40,471 She's Barbara Gordon! 394 00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:45,307 - The new Commissioner of Gotham City. - Wow. 395 00:25:45,310 --> 00:25:48,370 She was top of her class at Harvard For Police. 396 00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:52,474 She cleaned up the streets of Gotham's nearby sister city, Bludhaven. 397 00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:57,352 Using statistics! And compassion! 398 00:25:57,355 --> 00:26:04,227 And now she's bringing her new ideas, and her gun sharps, to Gotham City. 399 00:26:04,262 --> 00:26:06,526 - Congratulations, darling. - Thanks, Dad. 400 00:26:06,531 --> 00:26:09,432 - Here she is, everyone. - Thank you, thanks. 401 00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:13,267 - Hooray. - Miss, over here. 402 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:16,465 Wow, thank you, for the oversized key to Arkham Asylum. 403 00:26:16,474 --> 00:26:22,344 And, what's this? Thank you for the switch to the Bat-Signal. 404 00:26:22,347 --> 00:26:24,274 Nice. 405 00:26:24,482 --> 00:26:29,916 Dad, you've always done a great job protecting Gotham City. 406 00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:32,219 - Flip! That's me. - Thank you. 407 00:26:32,524 --> 00:26:36,426 - Along with Batman, of course. - Woo! Let's hear it for Batman! 408 00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:39,523 - Who I wish was here right now. - Oh, I'm sure he's listening. 409 00:26:39,531 --> 00:26:42,027 I'd like to ask all of you a question. 410 00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:44,228 Are you fed up with crime? 411 00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:46,300 - Uh-huh, tired of it. - Yes, we're sick of it. 412 00:26:46,304 --> 00:26:51,141 Great. Let's talk real improvements that will end the cycle of crime. 413 00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:54,439 I've got a 4 point pilot program that I'd love to share with you. 414 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,380 I want to hear all 4 points. 415 00:26:56,414 --> 00:26:57,438 - It's called... - I'm ready... 416 00:26:57,482 --> 00:27:00,349 - It takes a village... - Best opening title ever... 417 00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:02,413 Not a Batman. 418 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,020 Waiter. Can I? Thank you. 419 00:27:09,494 --> 00:27:11,394 - WHAT!? - Look... 420 00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:17,493 Batman been on the job for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very... 421 00:27:17,502 --> 00:27:20,437 - very long time. - He has aged phenomenally. 422 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:24,465 However, despite all the great work Batman has done for us, 423 00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:29,469 Gotham City is still the most crime-ridden city in the world. 424 00:27:29,514 --> 00:27:32,845 - She's got a great point. - Historically speaking, that is accurate. 425 00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:36,151 He hasn't captured Riddler. He hasn't captured Bane. 426 00:27:36,186 --> 00:27:39,355 Or Catwoman. Or Two-Face. 427 00:27:39,357 --> 00:27:43,384 - Or any of Gotham's other villains! - He's not good at his job. 428 00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:47,296 - Including the Joker. - She's making a lot of sense! 429 00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:50,461 Excuse me, I'm so sorry, excuse me. 430 00:27:50,468 --> 00:27:52,436 - Yes. - Hi, Bruce Wayne. 431 00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:55,270 Billionaire, galavant, gallivanter, playboy, 432 00:27:55,306 --> 00:27:58,366 Gotham's most eligable bachelor like 90 years in a row. 433 00:27:58,376 --> 00:28:00,503 - I know who you are, Mr. Wayne. - You bet you do. 434 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:04,312 Quick question, what is your problem with Batman? 435 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:08,410 - And also, what the heck, dude? - I'm glad you asked, Mr. Wayne. 436 00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:13,223 I'm not a Batman hater. But we don't need an unsupervised adult man 437 00:28:13,224 --> 00:28:16,316 karate chopping poor people in a Halloween costume. 438 00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:19,228 We need to take what's good about Batman, 439 00:28:19,264 --> 00:28:22,290 and marry it to actual laws. 440 00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:25,326 And proper ethics. And accountability. 441 00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:26,462 I hate everything you've just said. 442 00:28:26,504 --> 00:28:32,172 Because my dream is for the police force to team up with Batman. 443 00:28:32,177 --> 00:28:34,507 - Waiter. - Wouldn't that be better? 444 00:28:34,512 --> 00:28:40,451 And I know that together, the world's greatest detective, and Gotham's finest, 445 00:28:40,485 --> 00:28:44,121 could clean up these crime-ridden streets. 446 00:28:44,990 --> 00:28:46,082 Forever. 447 00:28:46,424 --> 00:28:48,893 - Everybody get down! - Everybody get down! 448 00:28:50,294 --> 00:28:52,522 Grand entrance! Pew pew pew! 449 00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:56,332 Everyone, make your way to the exits immediately! 450 00:28:56,968 --> 00:28:59,136 Team Bane, block the exits! 451 00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:00,363 Going somewhere? 452 00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:03,374 Clayface, Freeze, bring me the new Commissioner Gordon. 453 00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:04,563 - We're on it! - Cool! 454 00:29:04,575 --> 00:29:08,111 - And Harley. You know what to do. - I sure do! 455 00:29:08,112 --> 00:29:12,377 It's time for Operation Take Out The Laundry. 456 00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:16,114 - Alfred 1, this is Bat 1, do you copy? - Go ahead, Bat 1. 457 00:29:16,154 --> 00:29:19,351 - I need my armored face disguise now! - Only if you say the magic word. 458 00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:20,456 - Now! - No... 459 00:29:20,481 --> 00:29:22,358 - You're fired! - No... 460 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:26,362 Sir, we'll talk about this back at the Batcave. 461 00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:27,956 - Computer. - Yes. 462 00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:31,496 - Initialize Master Build music. - Right away. 463 00:29:31,536 --> 00:29:35,404 Collatoral damage assessment suggests the Scuttler, Sir. 464 00:29:35,406 --> 00:29:36,931 Good plan. 465 00:29:41,479 --> 00:29:44,879 Madam Mayor, stay close to me. Head for the south exit. 466 00:29:44,883 --> 00:29:46,383 Now, Ma'am! 467 00:29:47,986 --> 00:29:50,416 - Go, go, go! - Honey, let Batman take care of it. 468 00:29:50,522 --> 00:29:52,387 Dad, I got this. 469 00:29:52,423 --> 00:29:54,482 Here, quick! 470 00:30:04,502 --> 00:30:06,367 Scuttler online. 471 00:30:06,404 --> 00:30:09,931 - Chief O'Hara, we're coming in hot! - I'm almost there! 472 00:30:10,508 --> 00:30:12,108 Woah! 473 00:30:14,412 --> 00:30:17,247 Chief, get the Mayor to safety! 474 00:30:17,348 --> 00:30:19,441 Computer, I got the Joker in my sights. 475 00:30:19,450 --> 00:30:23,386 Team, I got the Joker in my sights. 476 00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:28,326 - Joker! - Joker! 477 00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:31,395 - Excuse me? I was about to- - Push the Bat-Signal. 478 00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,296 Good call! I like your instincts! 479 00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:37,358 I've got a surprise for you guys, and it's gonna make you smile. 480 00:30:37,402 --> 00:30:40,462 Uh oh. His smile is our grimace! Everybody get down! 481 00:30:40,471 --> 00:30:43,372 - I... - Joker, no! 482 00:30:43,408 --> 00:30:47,010 - Surrender. - What? 483 00:30:47,312 --> 00:30:52,375 - Uh, what did you just say? - I said, I surrender. 484 00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:57,344 I'm sorry, my bat ears must be malfunctioning because it sou- 485 00:30:57,388 --> 00:31:00,155 - I surrender! - Okay, you know what? Cool it. 486 00:31:00,191 --> 00:31:03,351 - You're a criminal. You run and I- - Ah, pap-pap-pap. 487 00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:07,094 Not anymore, Batman. You were right. There is no us. 488 00:31:07,167 --> 00:31:10,614 So there's no point in me trying to fight you any more. 489 00:31:10,639 --> 00:31:13,939 Therefore I will be surrendering myself to our strong-willed 490 00:31:13,972 --> 00:31:17,931 and forward-thinking new Commissioner. Blink, blink, blink. Blinkety-blink. 491 00:31:17,943 --> 00:31:19,505 - That's really suspicious. - Yeah it is. 492 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,341 What are you up to, Joker? 493 00:31:21,346 --> 00:31:23,439 I just want to go to Arkham and pay for all my crimes. 494 00:31:23,481 --> 00:31:25,149 Blink, blink, blink. 495 00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:29,184 - Are you actually saying 'blink'? - No! Blink blink- 496 00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:32,055 - Joker, that's enough. - Okay, Babs. I got this. 497 00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:35,320 Not so fast, Batman. You can't fight me anymore. 498 00:31:35,460 --> 00:31:38,486 - I'm off the market. - What are you talking about? 499 00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:43,524 I'm off the menu. You won't get to fight any of this anymore. 500 00:31:43,534 --> 00:31:48,494 Man, am I sorry I asked. Anyway, have fun in jail... 501 00:31:48,539 --> 00:31:51,508 - Batman, what are you doing? - Punching Bane. 502 00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:56,343 - That was unnecessary. - Oh no, you can't fight Bane anymore either. 503 00:31:56,381 --> 00:31:59,350 - Really? - Yeah. Or Riddler... 504 00:31:59,350 --> 00:32:02,376 - Catwoman. Condiment King. - Why not? 505 00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:06,323 Because... we're all surrendering. 506 00:32:06,357 --> 00:32:08,325 - Right, guys? - We are!? 507 00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:09,959 Yes! 508 00:32:16,968 --> 00:32:19,960 Riddle me this... what just happened? 509 00:32:20,205 --> 00:32:21,465 It's the end of crime! 510 00:32:21,472 --> 00:32:23,440 - Alright! - Amazing! 511 00:32:23,474 --> 00:32:25,699 - You did it! - Yeah, of course I did, I'm- 512 00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:29,443 Sorry, not you. We're talking to Commissioner Gordon. 513 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,305 - Well, it was a team effort... - I got this, Babs. 514 00:32:31,316 --> 00:32:33,443 - Commissioner, how do you feel? - Amazing! 515 00:32:33,484 --> 00:32:35,549 - This is a great first day. - Okay. 516 00:32:35,553 --> 00:32:37,412 - Question for Batman. - Shoot. 517 00:32:37,455 --> 00:32:39,218 What are you gonna do with the rest of your life? 518 00:32:39,357 --> 00:32:40,546 What do you mean 'the rest of my life'? 519 00:32:40,558 --> 00:32:43,653 We don't need a vigilante crime fighter now that there's no more crime. 520 00:32:43,693 --> 00:32:44,991 Uh, yes you do. 521 00:32:44,996 --> 00:32:47,890 You can spend some quality time with your family. 522 00:32:48,399 --> 00:32:50,699 My...? 523 00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:57,139 Okay, Batman, we'll take it from here. 524 00:32:57,141 --> 00:33:01,034 All right, listen up. All of you have the right to remain silent. 525 00:33:01,179 --> 00:33:02,541 - Let's roll out! - Toodle-oo, Batman! 526 00:33:02,547 --> 00:33:05,448 - Bye, Batman! - Au revoir, Batman. 527 00:33:05,483 --> 00:33:06,908 Bye, Batman! 528 00:33:07,018 --> 00:33:12,888 ♪ [ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER] 529 00:33:13,424 --> 00:33:19,522 Today is a victory for the citizens of Gotham City! 530 00:33:19,530 --> 00:33:22,260 No more crime! No more crime! 531 00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:26,293 - No more crime! No more crime! - Pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! 532 00:33:26,337 --> 00:33:29,298 No more crime! No more crime! 533 00:33:29,308 --> 00:33:32,209 534 00:33:33,344 --> 00:33:34,470 Is everything okay, Sir? 535 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:36,412 You barely touched your lobster thermidor. 536 00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:39,383 I don't have time to eat lobster thermidor right now. 537 00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:44,643 ♪ No is the saddest experienceyou'll ever know 538 00:33:44,687 --> 00:33:51,187 ♪ Because one is the loneliestnumber that you'll ever do 539 00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:56,564 - Hey, Batman. - BARBARA! - What are you doing? 540 00:33:56,568 --> 00:34:01,361 - Nothing. I've a very full life. - No, I mean what are you doing here? 541 00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:06,434 - Surveillance on the Joker. - Batman, we both know... 542 00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:07,568 the Joker's up to something. 543 00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:11,112 Well then we can't just let him run around loose. In a prison. 544 00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:14,341 - He's not loose. - We has to go someplace outside the law! 545 00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:18,345 - Outside the law? - Yeah! Somewhere like, uh... 546 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:23,486 Hi there, I'm here from Phantom's Own Laundry. Here to take that bad stuff off your hands. 547 00:34:23,494 --> 00:34:27,453 - Wait, that's it: The Phantom Zone! - The Phantom Zone? 548 00:34:27,498 --> 00:34:32,367 No way, that is super illegal, and way outside our jurisdiction. 549 00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:37,240 So, why don't you and I work together, inside the law, 550 00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:38,399 to figure out what he's up to. 551 00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:41,902 Batman works alone. That's my motto. Copyright Batman. 552 00:34:42,447 --> 00:34:46,508 Batman, there are no more vigilantes allowed in Gotham City. 553 00:34:46,517 --> 00:34:50,385 Okay, totally got it. I have to go into double secret, 554 00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:52,412 super vigilante mode. 555 00:34:52,457 --> 00:34:54,890 You said that out loud. 556 00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:58,119 I know that she said I said that out loud, but there's no way I did. 557 00:34:58,362 --> 00:35:01,490 She has no idea what's going on in my super-mind. 558 00:35:01,499 --> 00:35:05,458 - Super-mind? - Ah, smoke bomb! 559 00:35:09,407 --> 00:35:12,376 Computer, how do I put the Joker in the Phantom Zone? 560 00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,804 Quickest route. No freeways. 561 00:35:17,515 --> 00:35:20,107 'Puter, do you hear me? 562 00:35:21,486 --> 00:35:23,450 Hello, Master Bruce. 563 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,114 Alfred, there's something wrong with the Bat-Computer. Watch this. 564 00:35:26,157 --> 00:35:29,385 'Puter? Nothing. 'Puter? You see what I'm saying? 565 00:35:29,527 --> 00:35:34,328 There's nothing wrong with it, Sir. I've just taken away your computer privileges. 566 00:35:34,332 --> 00:35:36,459 [PARENTAL LOCK] 567 00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:38,435 The parental lock!? You can't do that. 568 00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:43,406 Oh, I can. I've been reading "Setting Limits For Your Out Of Control Child". 569 00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:45,967 You know what? Doesn't matter, because I have the double secret 570 00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:48,277 super password that unlocks the parental lock. 571 00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:53,316 You mean "Alfrid Da Buttler" with two Ts? 572 00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:56,877 - Sir, it's time for you to stop this unhealthy behavior. - No, it's not. 573 00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,450 - You need to take responsibility for your life. - Not right now, I don't. 574 00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:04,185 And it starts by raising your son. 575 00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:10,490 I'm sorry, I literally have no idea what you're talking about. 576 00:36:10,501 --> 00:36:15,104 The young orphan you adopted at the gala. Remember? 577 00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:18,768 Wow. Stairs. 578 00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:24,380 - He's been living here for the past week. - Hello, table! 579 00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:28,318 And I must say, I've grown rather fond of the young lad. 580 00:36:28,352 --> 00:36:30,377 Hello, secret camera. 581 00:36:30,421 --> 00:36:36,659 You should get to know him. You and he have a lot in common. 582 00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:43,365 - Hello, family photos. - He lost his parents at a very young age. 583 00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:47,232 I always wanted one of those. 584 00:36:47,471 --> 00:36:52,431 Doesn't he deserve a chance for someone to take him under their wing? 585 00:36:52,443 --> 00:36:56,079 As I took you under mine? 586 00:36:58,983 --> 00:37:02,548 Alfred, you've been watching way too many Lifetime movies, and drinking Chardonnay. 587 00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:04,521 - It's Pinot Grigot, Sir. - Whatever it is. 588 00:37:04,522 --> 00:37:09,155 Listen, you don't have a family. You're satisfied serving me. 589 00:37:09,193 --> 00:37:12,062 So what do you know about having a surrogate son? 590 00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,423 Now, I'm gonna go fight crime. 591 00:37:13,464 --> 00:37:16,365 While you put that kid on the next jet to the Orphanage. Got it? 592 00:37:18,469 --> 00:37:20,270 As you wish, Sir. 593 00:37:21,372 --> 00:37:23,307 Whoops-a-daisy. 594 00:37:24,342 --> 00:37:25,868 - Wait. What are you doing? - Dusting. 595 00:37:25,876 --> 00:37:27,567 You can't let him into the Batcave! 596 00:37:27,611 --> 00:37:31,345 I'm not: I'm letting him into your life. 597 00:37:31,349 --> 00:37:33,418 ...via the Batcave. 598 00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:44,256 What? 599 00:37:45,363 --> 00:37:47,696 It's the Batcave! 600 00:37:48,199 --> 00:37:54,229 Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, 601 00:37:54,372 --> 00:37:57,341 oh my gosh, ooh! 602 00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:01,434 - Batman, woah! - You're darn right, woah! 603 00:38:01,479 --> 00:38:04,177 Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement? 604 00:38:04,182 --> 00:38:06,241 No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic. 605 00:38:06,384 --> 00:38:08,409 - We can have sleepovers every night! - No we can't. 606 00:38:08,419 --> 00:38:10,478 - Woah look, it's the Bat-Sub! - Wait, don't touch that. 607 00:38:10,521 --> 00:38:13,319 - Over there, it's the Bat-Space-Shuttle! - Please keep your hands off that. 608 00:38:13,324 --> 00:38:15,158 - It's the Bat-Zepplin! - Don't touch that either! 609 00:38:15,193 --> 00:38:17,252 - The Bat-Train! - No! - The Bat-Kayak! - No! 610 00:38:17,361 --> 00:38:21,320 - It's the Bat-Dune-Buggy! -No! - It's the Bat... Shark Repellant? 611 00:38:21,365 --> 00:38:25,358 Uhh, actually you can touch that. It's completely useless. 612 00:38:25,369 --> 00:38:27,337 Woah, thanks Batman. 613 00:38:27,338 --> 00:38:32,298 Please, stand over there. And don't touch, look at, or do anything 614 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,244 for the remaining moments you have in my presence. 615 00:38:34,278 --> 00:38:36,269 - Okay cool. - Computer! 616 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,306 - Go ahead. - How do I put the Joker in Phantom Zone? 617 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:43,310 Joker can only be put in the Phantom Zone using the Phantom Zone Projector. 618 00:38:43,354 --> 00:38:49,222 Current location: Superman's Fortress of Solitude, inside the atomic cauldron. 619 00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:54,992 However, only a person that isn't shredded, ripped, or extremely swole, can enter the cauldron. 620 00:38:55,033 --> 00:38:58,302 - Noo, I'm way too buff! - You also have beautiful abs, Sir. 621 00:38:58,402 --> 00:39:00,133 That's my cross to bear. 622 00:39:00,271 --> 00:39:05,333 Additionally, once inside the cauldron, multiple Kryptonian defence systems engage. 623 00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:09,177 Including the acid moat, ring of napalm, and the jaws of death. 624 00:39:09,313 --> 00:39:13,249 Chance of total mission failure is 110%. 625 00:39:13,250 --> 00:39:15,411 Those are not great odds. 626 00:39:15,453 --> 00:39:17,421 - Wait a minute. Hey, kid! - Yes, Sir? 627 00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:19,389 - You're super nimble, right? - I sure am. 628 00:39:19,423 --> 00:39:22,392 - And small. And quiet. - When I desire to be. 629 00:39:22,426 --> 00:39:26,385 - And 110% expendable. - I don't know what that means, but okay. 630 00:39:26,430 --> 00:39:31,424 Great, follow me. We are gonna steal the Phantom Zone Projector from Superman. 631 00:39:31,435 --> 00:39:34,302 - Steal? - Yeah, we have to right a wrong. 632 00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:37,433 Sometimes in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. 633 00:39:37,441 --> 00:39:39,500 - Gandhi said that. - Are we sure Gandhi said that? 634 00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:41,340 - I'm paraphrasing. - Cool! 635 00:39:41,345 --> 00:39:44,212 Preparing Fortress of Solitude infiltration gear. 636 00:39:44,248 --> 00:39:47,240 Wow, look at all these. Do I get a costume for the mission, too? 637 00:39:47,284 --> 00:39:51,177 I got a feeling you'll just look like a kid on Halloween, don't you think? 638 00:39:51,188 --> 00:39:53,115 Don't touch that! 639 00:39:54,091 --> 00:39:56,827 - El Mariachi. - That one is culturally insensitive. 640 00:39:56,828 --> 00:39:58,317 - Night Terror. - No way. 641 00:39:58,362 --> 00:39:59,888 - Death Merchant. - No. 642 00:39:59,897 --> 00:40:01,493 - Firestarter. - No! 643 00:40:01,532 --> 00:40:03,363 - Clawed Rains. - No! 644 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,527 - Excali-bat. - No! 645 00:40:04,535 --> 00:40:06,298 - Silent But Deadly. - No! 646 00:40:06,337 --> 00:40:08,262 Bat-ryshnikov. 647 00:40:08,272 --> 00:40:11,364 - How'd we feel about this one? - Dress-up parties are for grown-ups only. 648 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,140 Wait, what's that one there? 649 00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:17,475 Oh, that was for the 'Jamaica Caper'. The locals called me Reggae Man. 650 00:40:17,481 --> 00:40:21,315 I love it! Oh, it's like I was poured into this. 651 00:40:21,352 --> 00:40:24,378 My only trouble is, these pants are just a little tight. 652 00:40:24,388 --> 00:40:27,448 Don't know if I can throw a kick or jump in them. I got an idea. 653 00:40:27,491 --> 00:40:31,325 RIP! That's better! Now I'm free, now I'm movin', 654 00:40:31,362 --> 00:40:33,455 Come on Batman let's get groovin'! 655 00:40:33,464 --> 00:40:35,329 I can only look you in the eyes right now. 656 00:40:35,366 --> 00:40:38,367 - Uh, Sir. What are you doing? - What do you mean? 657 00:40:38,402 --> 00:40:40,427 Why is Master Dick dressed like that? 658 00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:44,374 How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met? 659 00:40:44,375 --> 00:40:48,243 - To the Batmobile! - Hot diggity dog! 660 00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:54,441 Vehicle rotisserie engaged. Retrieving the Speedwagon. 661 00:40:55,352 --> 00:40:58,344 Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed. 662 00:40:58,389 --> 00:41:00,357 Hey, kid. Let's go. 663 00:41:00,391 --> 00:41:02,858 - Ah, shoot. - What? 664 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:09,292 I probably shouldn't leave until I get the thumbs up from my new old man, Bruce Wayne. 665 00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:13,301 Uh, yeah. Well here's the thing... 666 00:41:14,405 --> 00:41:18,940 Bruno and I decided to share custody of you. 667 00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:23,001 So I get a say... and you're mission approved. 668 00:41:23,112 --> 00:41:26,006 No way! Is this really happening? 669 00:41:26,050 --> 00:41:27,141 Yeah! 670 00:41:28,385 --> 00:41:31,853 A month ago I had no dads, then I had 1 dad, now I have 2 dads, 671 00:41:31,889 --> 00:41:34,014 - and one of them is Batman! - Yeah! 672 00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:36,486 - It's raining dads! - So... 673 00:41:36,527 --> 00:41:42,229 Are you ready to follow Batman and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way? 674 00:41:42,266 --> 00:41:45,529 I sure am Dad 2! But first, where's the seatbelt? 675 00:41:45,536 --> 00:41:51,372 The first lesson is, life doesn't give you seatbelts! Let's go! 676 00:41:52,309 --> 00:41:54,368 Woohoo! 677 00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:57,709 Faster, Dad! Faster! 678 00:41:57,749 --> 00:42:00,449 - Woo! - Yeah! 679 00:42:02,286 --> 00:42:06,518 Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! Back up in that seat, there you go. 680 00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:11,325 As soon as I get back to the Batcave, I'll make sure Alfred puts seatbelts on there. 681 00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:15,264 but for the time being, I'm just gonna put my arm right here, 682 00:42:15,299 --> 00:42:21,063 And we're just gonna gently ease out of here. Here we go. 683 00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:33,173 [FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE] 684 00:42:33,317 --> 00:42:37,184 Okay, like all super heroes, Superman has zero friends, 685 00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:40,382 and he spends most of his time basking in sweet, sweet isolation. 686 00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:43,918 here at his alone palace. So, I'll keep him busy, 687 00:42:43,961 --> 00:42:46,520 while you sneak into that vent and get the projector. Got it? 688 00:42:46,530 --> 00:42:50,398 - Copy that. Oh, I could also- - Woah, don't even finish that thought. 689 00:42:50,434 --> 00:42:53,335 See this counter? These are all the good ideas Batman has. 690 00:42:53,337 --> 00:42:56,363 And no-one else has even had any good ideas. So don't even try. 691 00:42:56,407 --> 00:43:00,468 Your superpower is excellent listening and execution of my ideas. 692 00:43:00,477 --> 00:43:02,502 - Let's try it out. - Cool! 693 00:43:02,513 --> 00:43:06,347 Drop to the ground. Do a back flip. Do a front flip. Triple axle. 694 00:43:06,383 --> 00:43:08,510 Plié, Relevé, Jeté. Pythagorean Theorem. 695 00:43:08,519 --> 00:43:11,352 - A squared + B squared = C squared. - Physicalize it! 696 00:43:11,388 --> 00:43:16,223 A squared + B squared = C squared! 697 00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:18,524 - How'd I do, Dad? - Mediocre. And don't call me dad. 698 00:43:18,529 --> 00:43:21,362 - Now, begin mission! - Yes, Papa. 699 00:43:21,398 --> 00:43:24,526 Papa falls into the Dad category. 700 00:43:35,900 --> 00:43:39,600 [♪ SUPERMAN THEME] 701 00:43:41,352 --> 00:43:45,413 - S'up Supes? - Huh, wow, it's Batman... 702 00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:50,257 ...and he's at at my house. Right now. What are you doing here? 703 00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:52,455 Don't worry about it, dog. I'm not here to throw down or anything. 704 00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:57,363 - Uh no, I would crush you. - Okay, sure, sure, sure. 705 00:43:57,432 --> 00:44:01,471 Hey, listen, thank me later, but I just happened to be in the hood... 706 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:05,008 and I figured that you could probably use the... 707 00:44:07,111 --> 00:44:09,411 ...company. 708 00:44:11,048 --> 00:44:14,473 Wait a minute, are you having the... 709 00:44:14,498 --> 00:44:18,274 ...57th Annual Justice League Anniversary Party... 710 00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:20,514 ...without me? 711 00:44:20,524 --> 00:44:22,492 - No! - No! 712 00:44:22,526 --> 00:44:27,225 No, there must have been some mistake with the emails. That's crazy man. 713 00:44:27,264 --> 00:44:30,256 Email mistakes happen all the time. 714 00:44:30,267 --> 00:44:34,294 Sometimes I don't get Superman's emails for... years! 715 00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:37,501 Great point GL, great point. Alright! Well that clears up everything, right? 716 00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:40,739 Enjoy the party, Bro. Hit it, DJ Wonder Dog. 717 00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:42,544 [♪ PLANET ROCK] Woof! 718 00:44:48,318 --> 00:44:51,412 - Hey, Batman, you wanna take a quick pic? - Sure, where'd you want me? 719 00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:54,424 - Right there, perfect. Here's the camera. - Oh. 720 00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:56,393 Okay party people, get together. 721 00:44:56,427 --> 00:45:00,261 - Now, everybody say- - Super Friends! 722 00:45:00,264 --> 00:45:03,461 Let me see. Classic. We got everyone! 723 00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:05,943 - Yeah... everyone. - Thanks, Batman! 724 00:45:06,068 --> 00:45:08,667 Yeah, no problem. I feel I could burst. 725 00:45:08,972 --> 00:45:11,400 This party is the bomb! 726 00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:16,470 Look at me! More like Martian Dance Hunter, am I right? 727 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,644 - 'Puter, call kid. - Bat-Dad? 728 00:45:19,649 --> 00:45:23,582 How's it going? Cause everything is going great down here. 729 00:45:23,621 --> 00:45:27,354 I can see the target. There's some kind of laser energy thing that I can't get through. 730 00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:29,359 Okay, I'll see if I can shut it off. 731 00:45:29,359 --> 00:45:33,853 But I'm gonna have to make up an excuse to leave this party without anyone noticing. 732 00:45:34,198 --> 00:45:35,531 Bye. 733 00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:38,962 Kid, tell me when it's off, alright? 734 00:45:39,203 --> 00:45:42,001 - Now? Now? Now? - No. No. No. No. 735 00:45:42,306 --> 00:45:46,165 My son, these irreplaceable crystals contain all my knowledge, 736 00:45:46,310 --> 00:45:47,438 which I now pass on to- 737 00:45:47,544 --> 00:45:51,075 Darn it, it's gotta be one of these. Is this the one? 738 00:45:51,181 --> 00:45:54,681 - O-M-Gosh you did it Padre, it's off! - Okay. Now you gotta make your way 739 00:45:54,851 --> 00:45:58,053 to the atomic cauldron and get that Phantom Zone Projector. 740 00:45:58,055 --> 00:46:00,050 - Do exactly as I say. - 10-4. 741 00:46:00,191 --> 00:46:02,258 Okay. Jump! 742 00:46:02,827 --> 00:46:04,761 Do a front flip. Do a back flip. 743 00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:08,431 Run! Run! Run! Drop! 744 00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:13,335 That's some excellent listening! Shimmy. Strafe left. Strafe right. 745 00:46:13,370 --> 00:46:14,428 Avoid! 746 00:46:14,471 --> 00:46:16,530 Hey I was thinking, if I'm gonna be a super hero 747 00:46:16,540 --> 00:46:21,443 and go on awesome superhero missions like this one, can we use codenames? 748 00:46:21,478 --> 00:46:24,413 - Mine can be Robin. - Sorry, say that again? - Robin! 749 00:46:24,414 --> 00:46:28,475 - As in the small Midwestern frail bird? - Yeah, and I already have a catchphrase. 750 00:46:28,519 --> 00:46:30,487 - Tweet tweet on the street. - Hard pass. 751 00:46:30,487 --> 00:46:35,481 - And a song: "Fly Robin Fly..." - Harder pass. Now slide! 752 00:46:35,526 --> 00:46:39,394 Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you how to Master Build your way inside that thing. 753 00:46:39,429 --> 00:46:42,588 - Yay! - Grab those 2x6s. Pull out the axle studs. 754 00:46:42,598 --> 00:46:45,366 Disconnect the 6x10 plates. - like this? 755 00:46:45,402 --> 00:46:49,270 Woah, unbelievable obeying! Now let's ride. 756 00:46:49,273 --> 00:46:50,365 Toes to the nose. 757 00:46:50,407 --> 00:46:52,375 Now you're gleaming the cube! 758 00:46:52,376 --> 00:46:56,110 Now, get creative. Freestyle a little bit. That's good, kid! 759 00:46:56,146 --> 00:46:58,205 It's like looking in a Bat-Mirror. 760 00:46:58,215 --> 00:47:00,410 Okay. Leap. 761 00:47:02,953 --> 00:47:04,946 - I got the projector, Dad! - Booyah! 762 00:47:05,055 --> 00:47:07,881 Now, do everything we just did, backwards. 763 00:47:08,192 --> 00:47:09,585 Oh. 764 00:47:10,527 --> 00:47:14,361 - Here you go, Dad. We did it! - Yeah! Mission accomplished. 765 00:47:14,364 --> 00:47:16,364 That was fun! 766 00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:21,337 You okay, Batman? You seem the opposite of stern. 767 00:47:21,438 --> 00:47:26,307 Yeah I'm fine, it's just... watching you, out there... 768 00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:31,080 It was like the world wasn't all darkness anymore. 769 00:47:31,348 --> 00:47:36,411 For a brief moment I could've sworn I... felt something. 770 00:47:36,453 --> 00:47:40,053 That feeling is pride, Sir. 771 00:47:40,157 --> 00:47:44,155 You're right. I am super proud. 772 00:47:44,494 --> 00:47:50,364 ...of myself. For being such a good teacher. Obviously. 773 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,494 - Yeah, you're a great teacher. - I am? 774 00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:57,337 Yeah! I wanna be just like you when I grow up, Padre. 775 00:47:57,341 --> 00:47:59,141 Wait, what did you call me? 776 00:47:59,143 --> 00:48:01,336 I, I called you Padre. 777 00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:05,314 It's... Spanish for 'Dad'. Sorry. 778 00:48:05,315 --> 00:48:08,443 Well isn't it also a cool Spanish way to say 'Buddy'? 779 00:48:08,452 --> 00:48:10,477 Yeah, could've been saying it that way. 780 00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,183 Then I'll allow it. 781 00:48:12,289 --> 00:48:15,158 - Oh you're such a great Padre! - What are you doing? 782 00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:19,192 - Trying to give you a big old hug. - I thought you were attacking me. 783 00:48:19,429 --> 00:48:23,422 Hey, you up for a top secret superhero mission to defeat the Joker? 784 00:48:23,433 --> 00:48:26,334 Oh, I'm down to stop that clown. 785 00:48:26,370 --> 00:48:28,529 But I don't wanna make my other dad Bruce Wayne angry, 786 00:48:28,538 --> 00:48:31,331 - you think we'll be done before my bedtime? - BEDTIME!? 787 00:48:31,356 --> 00:48:35,272 Batman's life lesson number 2: Vigilantes don't have bedtimes. 788 00:48:35,279 --> 00:48:39,443 Yes! So what's the vigilante policy on cookies? 789 00:48:39,449 --> 00:48:41,950 Unlimited. 790 00:48:42,386 --> 00:48:46,345 Alright kid, we need to avoid Commissioner Gordan. [ARKHAM ASYLUM] 791 00:48:47,157 --> 00:48:49,250 So, lesson number 3. 792 00:48:49,393 --> 00:48:53,295 When going stealth, you gotta hide every part of you. 793 00:48:53,330 --> 00:48:55,423 Physically, and emotionally. 794 00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:56,421 - Got it? - YEAH! 795 00:48:56,466 --> 00:48:58,029 Already failed. 796 00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:02,561 What I need you to do is, use the naturally dark areas of your costume 797 00:49:02,586 --> 00:49:07,068 and integrate into the dark parts of this environment. 798 00:49:07,111 --> 00:49:08,069 Okay. 799 00:49:08,378 --> 00:49:10,312 - Can you see me? - Yes. 800 00:49:10,347 --> 00:49:12,406 - What about now? - Yes. 801 00:49:12,416 --> 00:49:13,474 - What about now? - Yes. 802 00:49:13,517 --> 00:49:16,150 - Now? - Yes. You're a goner, kid. 803 00:49:16,153 --> 00:49:18,453 - Batman! - BARBARA! 804 00:49:18,477 --> 00:49:20,523 [♪ I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT] 805 00:49:20,524 --> 00:49:24,358 - Batman? Batman? - Hey there, look at you! 806 00:49:24,394 --> 00:49:26,328 - Who's this? - Hi, police lady! 807 00:49:26,363 --> 00:49:27,523 - Is that your son? - Yes, I am! 808 00:49:27,531 --> 00:49:31,364 - No, that's just weird. - It's weirder if it's not your son. 809 00:49:31,368 --> 00:49:36,271 Right. No, I'm not in a relationship or anything. 810 00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:40,434 I could have a kid. I mean, if I met the right lady. 811 00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:44,208 And... she was just standing right in front of me... 812 00:49:44,247 --> 00:49:47,207 and we looked at each other, and thought, hey, let's do this. 813 00:49:47,251 --> 00:49:49,085 Let's be together. 814 00:49:49,219 --> 00:49:50,311 - Batman... - Yes? 815 00:49:50,454 --> 00:49:53,954 I hope you're back because you decided to work together 816 00:49:53,957 --> 00:49:58,257 - on the Joker case? - Uhh... Yeah, absolutely! 817 00:49:58,926 --> 00:50:00,126 Great! 818 00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:02,323 Ooh, Arkham Asylum. 819 00:50:02,466 --> 00:50:05,526 So before we question the Joker, I'm gonna need you to hand over all your weapons. 820 00:50:05,535 --> 00:50:07,298 I mean, I don't know if I have anything... 821 00:50:08,405 --> 00:50:12,307 - Oh, I just got a couple here. - Is that it? 822 00:50:12,342 --> 00:50:16,301 - Oh, of course. - What about the utility belt? 823 00:50:16,813 --> 00:50:18,977 There we go. 824 00:50:18,982 --> 00:50:21,050 Uh, this is really uncomfortable. 825 00:50:21,051 --> 00:50:23,351 Sorry, my shoes are part of my pants. 826 00:50:24,421 --> 00:50:25,081 Oops... 827 00:50:25,106 --> 00:50:26,487 - Batman... - Yes? 828 00:50:26,523 --> 00:50:31,351 Why is your not son trying to smuggle the Phantom Zone Projector into Arkham? 829 00:50:31,395 --> 00:50:34,228 What? Hey, kid, what is this? 830 00:50:34,264 --> 00:50:36,459 - Batman, give me the Phantom Zone Projector. - No. 831 00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:38,468 - Batman, give me the- - No. 832 00:50:38,468 --> 00:50:40,436 No, no, no... whoa, nice. 833 00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:43,305 I studied Brazilian Jujitsu at Harvard for Police! 834 00:50:43,307 --> 00:50:46,399 Oh yeah, well guess who got a PhD in smoke bombs? 835 00:50:46,410 --> 00:50:48,401 - Dr. Batman! - Guards, get them! 836 00:50:48,412 --> 00:50:51,381 - Freeze, Batman! - Hey, kid, this is a training exercise. 837 00:50:51,415 --> 00:50:52,473 These guys are my bros. 838 00:50:52,516 --> 00:50:55,147 - Go ahead and take a couple of them out. - Cool! 839 00:50:56,286 --> 00:50:58,481 840 00:50:58,522 --> 00:51:01,491 841 00:51:01,491 --> 00:51:05,658 Code Red. I need total security lockdown, now! 842 00:51:09,533 --> 00:51:11,398 What's up, Joker? 843 00:51:11,401 --> 00:51:13,426 - Namaste, Batman. - Namaste. 844 00:51:13,437 --> 00:51:16,235 - Gross. - Ooh, briefs man. Me too. 845 00:51:16,273 --> 00:51:19,504 - Cut the baloney. Kid, guard the door, will ya! - On it! Take that! 846 00:51:19,509 --> 00:51:23,343 Looks like you're going to a lot of trouble for little old me. 847 00:51:23,380 --> 00:51:25,473 I must be your greatest enemy after all. 848 00:51:25,482 --> 00:51:27,382 Right, Batman? 849 00:51:27,417 --> 00:51:29,385 - I see what you're trying to do. - And what is that? 850 00:51:29,386 --> 00:51:32,412 You're trying to entrap me into a relationship. 851 00:51:32,456 --> 00:51:34,515 - Really? - Yeah, and it's not gonna work. 852 00:51:34,524 --> 00:51:39,291 Oh yes it is. Because I'm inside your head. 853 00:51:39,296 --> 00:51:40,388 - No you're not. - No you're not. 854 00:51:40,430 --> 00:51:41,362 I knew you'd say that. 855 00:51:41,364 --> 00:51:42,422 - No you didn't! - No you didn't! 856 00:51:42,466 --> 00:51:44,434 And I knew you'd say that! 857 00:51:44,468 --> 00:51:46,932 See? We aren't so different, I and you. 858 00:51:46,970 --> 00:51:48,938 - It's you and I! - It's you and I! 859 00:51:49,039 --> 00:51:53,239 - Admit it... I'm your greatest enemy. - You're not my greatest enemy, Joker. 860 00:51:53,243 --> 00:51:56,436 - Okay, then send me to the Phantom Zone. - Fine, I will. 861 00:51:56,480 --> 00:52:00,048 And prove I'm your greatest enemy. 862 00:52:00,417 --> 00:52:02,182 Batman, don't do this! 863 00:52:02,185 --> 00:52:06,021 As long as you're in the Phantom Zone, I'll be saving Gotham City. 864 00:52:06,056 --> 00:52:07,484 And that's all that matters to me. 865 00:52:07,491 --> 00:52:12,485 - Goodbye, Joker. - Oh Batman, thank you! 866 00:52:13,396 --> 00:52:17,064 Yes! That's what I call saving the city again! 867 00:52:17,100 --> 00:52:18,834 Batman, what are you doing!? 868 00:52:18,936 --> 00:52:21,163 I'm Batman...ing. 869 00:52:21,404 --> 00:52:23,737 ♪ I'm Batman. I'm awesome. 870 00:52:23,741 --> 00:52:26,134 ♪ I got a 9 pack] - Stop it! 871 00:52:26,376 --> 00:52:28,505 - Batman, I can't believe you did this. - Hi police lady. 872 00:52:28,545 --> 00:52:34,579 And even worse, you've made this kid into an accessory to your crime. Sorry kid. 873 00:52:34,651 --> 00:52:37,351 That's okay Ma'am, as long as I'm doing the dime in the big house 874 00:52:37,419 --> 00:52:39,519 with my old man, eveything's gonna be a-okay. 875 00:52:39,523 --> 00:52:42,458 Officers, take this projector to the evidence room. 876 00:52:42,459 --> 00:52:44,522 - And get this man some pants! - I'm good the way I am. 877 00:52:44,528 --> 00:52:48,062 P-Co, why has nobody fist-bumped me yet? 878 00:52:49,132 --> 00:52:51,066 You know... 879 00:52:51,201 --> 00:52:56,038 When I was a kid, I wanted to be you, Batman. 880 00:52:56,039 --> 00:53:01,039 I wanted to be as strong and as fast and as smart as Batman. 881 00:53:01,511 --> 00:53:04,180 But you're not who I thought you were. 882 00:53:04,514 --> 00:53:06,179 Whaddya mean? 883 00:53:06,383 --> 00:53:10,954 You can't be a hero if you only care about yourself. 884 00:53:10,954 --> 00:53:13,184 Barbara... I... 885 00:53:14,524 --> 00:53:19,359 I think you're underestimating the importance of the Joker being in the Phantom Zone. 886 00:53:19,396 --> 00:53:22,930 Really, kind of a stroke of genius... Hey, where you going? 887 00:53:22,966 --> 00:53:27,694 I just put Joker in the one place he can't do anyone any harm. 888 00:53:28,105 --> 00:53:29,839 Yeah. 889 00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:34,540 But what if you just gave Joker exactly what he wanted? 890 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,700 [♪ THE PHANTOM ZONE] 891 00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:07,576 Woah! Look at this place! Am I being too loud? 892 00:54:08,111 --> 00:54:10,170 - HI! - OH MY GOSH! 893 00:54:10,413 --> 00:54:14,372 - Sorry, I always do that! - How about a warning next time? - You're so right and I am so wrong. 894 00:54:14,417 --> 00:54:16,385 Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy! 895 00:54:16,386 --> 00:54:18,320 - Yeah, bad guy. - My name is Phillis! 896 00:54:18,355 --> 00:54:21,156 - Oh, that was my grandma's name. - Now hold still... 897 00:54:21,191 --> 00:54:24,183 ...while I scan you. Scanning for badness. 898 00:54:24,294 --> 00:54:26,387 Trying to assess whether you are bad. 899 00:54:30,367 --> 00:54:32,494 Uh, your whole thing screams bad guy. 900 00:54:32,502 --> 00:54:35,198 Oh yes... I'm really a bad person. 901 00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:37,399 But with vulnerabilities. 902 00:54:37,407 --> 00:54:42,344 Who me? No way... so where do you keep all the other bad people in this place? 903 00:54:42,379 --> 00:54:46,247 They're standing right behind you. 904 00:54:46,549 --> 00:54:51,282 Hi there guys, lovely to meet you all. I'm the- oh, fist-bump. 905 00:54:51,321 --> 00:54:53,400 Doesn't matter, I'm the Joker. 906 00:54:53,423 --> 00:54:57,325 - Take a look at the new guy. - Guess they'll just let anybody in here. 907 00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:01,353 Oh, no, no... I'm very bad too, they just showed a video montage- 908 00:55:01,364 --> 00:55:02,490 - Boring! - What? 909 00:55:02,532 --> 00:55:04,397 - You're boring. - He looks delicious! 910 00:55:04,434 --> 00:55:06,368 - Huh? - Let's eat this guy! 911 00:55:06,403 --> 00:55:09,372 Stop with the violence for just a second! 912 00:55:09,372 --> 00:55:14,175 What if I told you I could get you out of here? 913 00:55:14,845 --> 00:55:16,507 - I'm sorry, what'd you just say? - That's right! 914 00:55:16,546 --> 00:55:20,945 I'm so bad I got myself thrown into this heck-hole on purpose! 915 00:55:20,951 --> 00:55:24,314 - I'm listening. - Count me interested! 916 00:55:24,421 --> 00:55:28,414 Look, everyone here knows what it's like to be hurt by a hero, don't they? 917 00:55:28,458 --> 00:55:32,823 - We've all been taken for granted, right? - Yeah! - I'm relating! 918 00:55:32,863 --> 00:55:35,922 That's why I came to this space prison. 919 00:55:35,932 --> 00:55:39,496 - To recruit the universe's greatest- - We'll do it. 920 00:55:39,536 --> 00:55:40,468 I'm sorry? 921 00:55:40,470 --> 00:55:46,409 You were going to say something about recruiting the universe's greatest villains to conquer a super hero. 922 00:55:46,443 --> 00:55:48,411 - Am I right? - Uh, yeah. 923 00:55:48,411 --> 00:55:50,379 - Well we're in. - Yay! 924 00:55:50,380 --> 00:55:52,245 Really, because I brought a PowerPoint pres- 925 00:55:52,248 --> 00:55:54,409 - Still boring! - Yeah, just get on with it! 926 00:55:54,451 --> 00:55:57,420 - Do you want us to humiliate him? - I certainly do, yes! 927 00:55:57,420 --> 00:56:00,087 You want us to make him grovel at your feet? 928 00:56:00,123 --> 00:56:01,749 I would like to see that very much! 929 00:56:01,791 --> 00:56:05,858 - You want us to smite him? - Yeah! 930 00:56:05,862 --> 00:56:09,322 Do you want us to make the rivers of Gotham City run red with his blood? 931 00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:13,359 - Oh, that's- - Oh, no blood... how do you feel about lava? 932 00:56:13,403 --> 00:56:15,462 - Yes, lava. - Done. - Yay! 933 00:56:15,472 --> 00:56:18,498 - I can't wait to crush buildings - Excuse me, hello... over here. 934 00:56:18,508 --> 00:56:22,274 I don't wanna be a downer, but how exactly are we gonna get out of this place? 935 00:56:22,312 --> 00:56:25,309 Oh, leave that to me. 936 00:56:25,515 --> 00:56:28,500 I don't wanna jinx us, but I'll be a lot happier 937 00:56:28,525 --> 00:56:32,377 when this Phantom Zone Projector is locked up tight. 938 00:56:32,489 --> 00:56:35,390 - Going up, Ma'am? - No... 939 00:56:35,392 --> 00:56:37,392 ...you're going down. 940 00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:43,392 I guess you're right, I am going up. Ding! 941 00:56:45,368 --> 00:56:51,132 Here comes the... PHANTOM ZONE! 942 00:56:55,979 --> 00:57:00,177 - I'm gonna go start looting. - Hello Gotham City! 943 00:57:00,483 --> 00:57:05,317 The clown prince of crime is back. 944 00:57:05,355 --> 00:57:07,516 Commissioner Gordon, you've got to take a look at this! 945 00:57:07,524 --> 00:57:10,459 - What's that? - A monkey and dog are friends! 946 00:57:10,493 --> 00:57:16,227 - Not that. That. - The time has come to finally take over the city. 947 00:57:16,266 --> 00:57:21,499 But in order to do that, I need to break my friends out of a giant, scary prison. 948 00:57:21,504 --> 00:57:24,371 - Hey guys, he means us! - Yay! 949 00:57:24,407 --> 00:57:28,434 And I ain't talking about those rogue losers dressed in cosplay! 950 00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,645 - Aww! - Me-ouch! 951 00:57:30,679 --> 00:57:34,509 I'm talking about my new peeps! They're just like me. 952 00:57:34,551 --> 00:57:38,385 The greatest villains you'll ever see. 953 00:57:38,388 --> 00:57:40,153 - You wanna meet 'em? - No. 954 00:57:40,190 --> 00:57:41,583 Too bad. 955 00:57:42,392 --> 00:57:46,524 He's evil, he's magic, and it's about to get tragic. 956 00:57:46,531 --> 00:57:49,698 - It's Voldemort! - Magic! 957 00:57:51,434 --> 00:57:55,393 You are a fish! You are a frog! You are a fish-frog! 958 00:57:55,438 --> 00:57:59,838 He's a 9000 year old incarnation of evil with an eye for jewellery. 959 00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:03,573 - Give it up for Sauron! - Good afternoon, Gotham City. 960 00:58:08,151 --> 00:58:12,481 He likes long, violent walks on historic buildings, it's King Kong! 961 00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:14,691 Come at me, Gotham! 962 00:58:16,026 --> 00:58:19,428 Commissioner Gordon, these monsters, they're too powerful! 963 00:58:19,863 --> 00:58:21,854 Can you contain them to Downtown? 964 00:58:22,098 --> 00:58:25,292 That's gonna be impossible! Half the police force are fish! 965 00:58:25,301 --> 00:58:28,034 Sergeant Jackson, stop flopping around! 966 00:58:28,071 --> 00:58:32,434 And rounding out the Evil All-Stars, Wicked Witch, Medusa, 967 00:58:32,441 --> 00:58:35,400 - And British robots. - EXTERMINATE! 968 00:58:35,445 --> 00:58:37,413 Ask your nerd friends. 969 00:58:37,413 --> 00:58:40,574 Hello? Bad guys... 970 00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:44,852 Ha haa... what a crew, huh? 971 00:58:44,887 --> 00:58:51,155 And they all work for me! Who's the greatest villain of them all now, Batman? 972 00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:52,286 Still not you. 973 00:58:52,395 --> 00:58:55,221 Actually this does look pretty terrifying, Bat-Dad. 974 00:58:55,966 --> 00:59:00,435 Nice destruction all around. Watch your step. Good work guys! 975 00:59:00,436 --> 00:59:05,373 Now all that's left for me is to rub it in Batman's Bat-Face. 976 00:59:05,408 --> 00:59:10,910 Hey Sauron! Doesn't your flaming eye have a unique ability to peer through time and space? 977 00:59:10,947 --> 00:59:12,006 Uh-huh. 978 00:59:12,049 --> 00:59:15,176 Well, I need to find Batman, where's home boy's man cave? 979 00:59:15,485 --> 00:59:20,222 Gimme a second. Scanning... It's beneath Wayne Manor. 980 00:59:20,256 --> 00:59:22,315 Whoa, hold on a sec. 981 00:59:22,325 --> 00:59:27,456 Are you trying to tell me that Bruce Wayne is Batman... 982 00:59:27,497 --> 00:59:29,262 ...'s roommate? 983 00:59:29,365 --> 00:59:31,866 Uh... yeah. 984 00:59:32,102 --> 00:59:36,300 Evil Army, this way to the Batcave! 985 00:59:39,209 --> 00:59:40,609 Good grief! 986 00:59:53,023 --> 00:59:57,153 Hey, Batman. Joker's home! 987 00:59:58,394 --> 01:00:00,453 I'm rubbing my butt all over your stuff. 988 01:00:00,496 --> 01:00:04,523 Gonna have to rename this the Butt-Mobile. 989 01:00:05,101 --> 01:00:07,531 Hey Evil Army, I need Batman brought here. 990 01:00:07,537 --> 01:00:11,270 Now GO GET HIM! Joker out! 991 01:00:13,509 --> 01:00:17,411 - Uh... Padre? - Yeah? 992 01:00:17,413 --> 01:00:19,304 Do you ever get scared? 993 01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,340 No! 994 01:00:21,484 --> 01:00:25,512 Yeah, that's what I figured. Because you're Batman. 995 01:00:31,127 --> 01:00:32,287 Hey, kid... 996 01:00:32,495 --> 01:00:35,931 - you know who does get scared? - Who? 997 01:00:35,965 --> 01:00:37,257 Bruce Wayne. 998 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,368 - Really? - Yeah. 999 01:00:39,369 --> 01:00:44,398 Bruno told me once, that sometimes the only way to get out of a down moment 1000 01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:46,408 is to start boxing. 1001 01:00:46,442 --> 01:00:51,111 And by boxing, he meant beat-boxing. 1002 01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:55,315 Na na na na na na na na... 1003 01:00:56,085 --> 01:00:57,279 Feel it, uh-huh. 1004 01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,512 Dick Grayson on the mic, go! 1005 01:01:06,529 --> 01:01:10,260 - Oh my gosh, this does make me feel better. - Okay, Batman solo. 1006 01:01:10,299 --> 01:01:14,326 Bat, Bat, can I get a Bat, Bat, can I get a 1007 01:01:14,370 --> 01:01:16,197 The Bat-Fax! 1008 01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:19,231 The city needs me! Bang bang bang! 1009 01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:23,078 Excuse me! Can you get the Commissioner and show her this! 1010 01:01:23,079 --> 01:01:25,406 - Batman. - Would you stop doing that!? 1011 01:01:25,448 --> 01:01:27,439 I sent the Bat-Fax. 1012 01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:31,387 I hate to say this, but... you're right. The city needs you. 1013 01:01:31,421 --> 01:01:32,445 Yes! Let me out. 1014 01:01:32,455 --> 01:01:35,515 I'm only gonna let you out on one condition. 1015 01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:39,193 - Name it. - You can't do it by yourself. 1016 01:01:41,397 --> 01:01:45,390 Fine. Who am I working with? Seal Team 6? Fox Force 5? Suicide Squad? 1017 01:01:45,401 --> 01:01:47,232 No. Me. 1018 01:01:47,270 --> 01:01:48,498 Oh I wanna help too. 1019 01:01:48,538 --> 01:01:50,267 And I shall join as well. 1020 01:01:50,273 --> 01:01:54,232 - Alfred Pennyworth at your service. - Alfred, you gotta let me outta here. 1021 01:01:54,277 --> 01:01:57,371 Sir, those creatures out there are unlike anything we've ever seen. 1022 01:01:57,413 --> 01:02:00,405 Speak for yourself. You don't know everything I've seen, I haven't told you everything. 1023 01:02:00,450 --> 01:02:03,385 And you'll never be able to defeat them alone. 1024 01:02:03,386 --> 01:02:05,479 And it'll be more fun if we all do it together. 1025 01:02:05,488 --> 01:02:09,424 What's the worst thing that could happen? What are you so afraid of? 1026 01:02:09,425 --> 01:02:12,217 The thing I'm most afraid of? 1027 01:02:16,466 --> 01:02:19,164 I've gotta be honest with you, it's Snake-Clowns. 1028 01:02:19,202 --> 01:02:20,260 Yeah, that's not a thing. 1029 01:02:20,269 --> 01:02:23,295 Well then, nothing. I'm not afraid of anything! 1030 01:02:23,406 --> 01:02:25,797 Okay. Prove it. 1031 01:02:25,841 --> 01:02:27,341 - Oh I will. -Good. 1032 01:02:27,343 --> 01:02:30,403 You know what the B-A-T in Batman stands for? 1033 01:02:30,413 --> 01:02:32,438 - Not really. - Best At Teamwork. 1034 01:02:32,482 --> 01:02:35,349 Best At Teamwork Man is my full name. 1035 01:02:35,351 --> 01:02:38,519 - Yay, we're going on a family trip! - This is not a family trip. 1036 01:02:38,553 --> 01:02:40,345 I can wear my costume too! 1037 01:02:40,389 --> 01:02:42,658 Well luckily for us, you left your costume back at the- 1038 01:02:42,659 --> 01:02:46,518 - RIP! - Nope, under your clothes. That's perfect. 1039 01:02:46,563 --> 01:02:48,628 - RIP! - Alfred, what are you doing? 1040 01:02:48,665 --> 01:02:49,965 - I miss the 60s. 1041 01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:55,192 Hey, can Scarecrow help? Permit us to lend you assistance! 1042 01:02:55,371 --> 01:02:57,271 Why don't we use these guys? 1043 01:02:57,306 --> 01:03:02,171 What am I gonna do, get a bunch of criminals together to fight the criminals? That's a stupid idea. 1044 01:03:05,414 --> 01:03:07,439 Okay guys, game plan. 1045 01:03:07,450 --> 01:03:09,475 - Joker's taken the projector to- - Wayne Manor. 1046 01:03:09,519 --> 01:03:11,384 Right. Thanks, Batman. 1047 01:03:11,387 --> 01:03:12,445 - We need that- - Projector. 1048 01:03:12,455 --> 01:03:14,320 - Or there's no way to blast these- - Monsters- 1049 01:03:14,357 --> 01:03:16,257 - Back to the- - Phantom Zone. Yep. 1050 01:03:16,292 --> 01:03:18,453 - Batman, I really don't need you to finish my- - Sandcastles. 1051 01:03:18,494 --> 01:03:20,257 - Sister's homework? - No. 1052 01:03:20,263 --> 01:03:22,254 - Succulent... something. - No. 1053 01:03:22,298 --> 01:03:28,328 - Um, everybody? - Batman is in Arkham Asylum. 1054 01:03:28,337 --> 01:03:31,363 Hey, everybody grab on to me! 1055 01:03:36,179 --> 01:03:38,548 We've gotta take cover! 1056 01:03:39,348 --> 01:03:41,407 - Joker has eyes on us. - Where? 1057 01:03:41,450 --> 01:03:45,352 No, I mean he literally has a giant eye on us. 1058 01:03:45,354 --> 01:03:48,414 I think that thing can see our every move. 1059 01:03:48,457 --> 01:03:52,393 We've got to destroy it, or we'll never make it to Wayne Manor. 1060 01:03:52,395 --> 01:03:54,997 Uh, Batman, I really think you should see this. 1061 01:03:55,021 --> 01:03:56,032 Building survey! 1062 01:03:56,733 --> 01:03:59,033 This building's not up to code! 1063 01:04:06,209 --> 01:04:07,109 Gotcha. 1064 01:04:10,479 --> 01:04:13,071 Is that real lava? 1065 01:04:13,695 --> 01:04:14,695 I'm okay! 1066 01:04:16,385 --> 01:04:18,886 Oh yeah, 100% lava. 1067 01:04:20,123 --> 01:04:23,217 - Everyone start throwing me bricks! - Right away, Sir. 1068 01:04:39,342 --> 01:04:41,435 Yes. We did it. Pretty cool, huh? 1069 01:04:41,477 --> 01:04:43,377 - Batman? - Yeah? 1070 01:04:43,412 --> 01:04:46,313 Why'd you build this thing with only one seat? 1071 01:04:46,315 --> 01:04:48,408 Because last I checked I only had one butt. 1072 01:04:48,417 --> 01:04:49,475 What the- 1073 01:04:49,518 --> 01:04:52,385 [WAYNE MANOR, WAYNE ISLAND] What have you done to Wayne Manor? 1074 01:04:52,388 --> 01:04:54,379 [JOKER MANOR, JOKER ISLAND] Hey, Batman... Guess what? 1075 01:04:54,390 --> 01:04:56,390 - I found out one of your secrets. - Uh-Oh. 1076 01:04:56,425 --> 01:04:58,418 What do we have here, Batman? 1077 01:04:58,461 --> 01:05:00,558 Looks like a bunch of relationship comedies. 1078 01:05:00,596 --> 01:05:03,064 - What's that? - Must Love Dogs. 1079 01:05:03,088 --> 01:05:04,366 Must love crying! 1080 01:05:04,367 --> 01:05:06,301 - Marley and Me. - I love the ending. 1081 01:05:06,335 --> 01:05:09,327 Oh! Serendipity! 1082 01:05:09,338 --> 01:05:11,306 We have Serendipity? I love that movie. 1083 01:05:11,307 --> 01:05:16,370 For a loner Batman, you sure like movies about relationships... 1084 01:05:16,412 --> 01:05:18,380 Oh, and look what else I found. 1085 01:05:18,381 --> 01:05:21,007 All your wonderful toys! 1086 01:05:22,451 --> 01:05:27,120 Accio lightning storm! 1087 01:05:27,791 --> 01:05:30,260 Everyone hold on! 1088 01:05:35,431 --> 01:05:39,091 Gremlins, dismantle that plane. Now. 1089 01:05:39,402 --> 01:05:41,461 Ugly monsters on our 3. 1090 01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:44,833 - Uh, Padre? - Not now, kid. 1091 01:05:46,375 --> 01:05:49,067 Kinda got my hands full. 1092 01:05:49,378 --> 01:05:52,304 I've got good tone. Firing! 1093 01:05:55,484 --> 01:05:57,475 - Uh, Batman? - What's up, buddy? 1094 01:05:57,520 --> 01:06:00,387 - Are we nearly at Wayne Manor? - Why? 1095 01:06:00,389 --> 01:06:02,482 Your number 2 needs to go number 1. 1096 01:06:02,525 --> 01:06:05,289 I thought I told you to go back in the prison. 1097 01:06:05,328 --> 01:06:07,296 - I tried but Bane was in there. - So? 1098 01:06:07,330 --> 01:06:09,457 He had this sort of 'get out of this bathroom now' vibe. 1099 01:06:09,465 --> 01:06:13,133 I knew I shouldn't have given you that water. 1100 01:06:14,070 --> 01:06:16,129 Can you hold it in like a big boy? 1101 01:06:16,339 --> 01:06:19,338 - Engine 1's out. - Not a big deal, it's fine. 1102 01:06:19,375 --> 01:06:21,468 - Engine 2 down. - It does that sometimes. 1103 01:06:21,477 --> 01:06:24,703 - We've lost engine 3. - Could live without it. 1104 01:06:26,082 --> 01:06:29,142 Engine 4... 1105 01:06:29,352 --> 01:06:30,376 That I do need to fix. 1106 01:06:30,419 --> 01:06:33,388 Good news, our bathroom problem is solved. 1107 01:06:35,358 --> 01:06:37,258 You 3 wait here while I go fix the engine. 1108 01:06:37,293 --> 01:06:39,523 Don't worry Batman: You fix the Batwing, I'll fly. 1109 01:06:39,528 --> 01:06:43,025 All good, Babs, I got my auto-pilot. Done. 1110 01:06:43,065 --> 01:06:46,325 Auto-pilot? That's a rope! - Exactly. Alright guys, 1111 01:06:46,335 --> 01:06:48,394 until I get back, rope's in charge. 1112 01:06:48,404 --> 01:06:50,905 Thanks, rope. 1113 01:07:00,449 --> 01:07:03,082 Come on Master Dick, we need to help him. 1114 01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:07,249 - I'm with you Grandpa! Get off my Padre! - Unhand him you animatronic fiends! 1115 01:07:07,456 --> 01:07:11,449 What are you 2 doing here? I told you to stay in the cockpit! 1116 01:07:11,494 --> 01:07:13,562 You disobeyed me. You're on a time-out. 1117 01:07:13,562 --> 01:07:16,260 - Batman, you're on a time-out! - What!? 1118 01:07:16,265 --> 01:07:17,593 Alfred, you'd better un-time-out me right now. 1119 01:07:17,633 --> 01:07:21,201 No! Not until you un-time-out Master Dick! 1120 01:07:21,470 --> 01:07:23,438 Guys! You're all un-time-outed! 1121 01:07:23,439 --> 01:07:26,299 - We have incoming! - Sir, watch out for those- 1122 01:07:32,481 --> 01:07:34,414 Okay, everybody time-out off. 1123 01:07:34,417 --> 01:07:37,051 - Woohoo! I've been parented! - Batman, I can help you! 1124 01:07:37,086 --> 01:07:39,544 - No, protect the rope! - The rope is fine. 1125 01:07:39,754 --> 01:07:41,323 Save Master Dick! 1126 01:07:41,357 --> 01:07:44,451 I'm fine, I'll just do one of my gymnastic moves- 1127 01:07:45,461 --> 01:07:47,962 No! 1128 01:07:57,039 --> 01:07:58,139 Gotcha! 1129 01:08:01,844 --> 01:08:04,372 Hold on, Alfred. I'm almost there. 1130 01:08:05,414 --> 01:08:06,614 No! 1131 01:08:09,218 --> 01:08:12,718 Alfred! 1132 01:08:20,129 --> 01:08:22,129 No. 1133 01:08:25,501 --> 01:08:27,936 No! 1134 01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:30,937 Move over, rope! 1135 01:08:31,540 --> 01:08:33,640 Hold on! 1136 01:08:46,889 --> 01:08:48,157 Gotcha! 1137 01:08:48,891 --> 01:08:52,317 Barbara, you see that? Bat-Rope saved Alfred! 1138 01:08:52,328 --> 01:08:54,489 Sick moves, bro. I never doubted you, bro. 1139 01:08:54,497 --> 01:08:59,224 - Actually Sir, Miss Gordon saved him. - Rope, you lied to me! 1140 01:08:59,235 --> 01:09:04,163 Wait a minute, you mean, without you, Alfred would have been... 1141 01:09:04,173 --> 01:09:05,465 ...street meat? 1142 01:09:05,474 --> 01:09:10,310 Batman... trust us. We can do this. 1143 01:09:10,312 --> 01:09:12,371 Yeah. I know gymkata! 1144 01:09:12,381 --> 01:09:13,348 Sorry, what's that? 1145 01:09:13,382 --> 01:09:15,247 It's a gymnastics-based martial art. 1146 01:09:15,251 --> 01:09:17,412 I could punch those 80s monsters off the plane. 1147 01:09:17,453 --> 01:09:19,353 Uh, okay. 1148 01:09:19,388 --> 01:09:21,379 Multiple bogies on our 6. 1149 01:09:21,390 --> 01:09:24,382 Sir, I'll get them off our back: I was a tail gunner for the Royal Air Force. 1150 01:09:24,426 --> 01:09:26,326 Locked and loaded, Sir. 1151 01:09:26,328 --> 01:09:28,319 Good, love that. I got an idea. 1152 01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:31,458 Prepare to change course. I want you to fly straight into that flaming eyeball. 1153 01:09:31,467 --> 01:09:34,967 - What? - Barbara... trust me. 1154 01:09:35,204 --> 01:09:37,801 Alright. Let's do this. 1155 01:09:44,446 --> 01:09:48,209 - Giant sea monster at 12 o'clock. - Got it. 1156 01:09:48,517 --> 01:09:52,017 - We've got his attention! - He's tracking us. 1157 01:09:55,158 --> 01:09:57,485 Ha ha ha! Got you now! 1158 01:10:02,031 --> 01:10:03,225 Eat dirt! 1159 01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:06,532 Bomb zero bogies, ruddy duck cobblers! 1160 01:10:12,174 --> 01:10:15,933 Okay babs, this is it, fly straight into that eye and wait for my signal. 1161 01:10:16,345 --> 01:10:17,403 Can it come now? 1162 01:10:17,446 --> 01:10:20,438 - Can we make the signal thing happen? - Almost there! 1163 01:10:20,449 --> 01:10:22,417 Almost there! 1164 01:10:22,451 --> 01:10:24,476 - Fire! - Almost there! 1165 01:10:24,486 --> 01:10:28,252 That fire's coming in hot... hot hot hot... 1166 01:10:28,257 --> 01:10:30,926 DIVE BOMB! 1167 01:10:32,061 --> 01:10:34,924 My eye! 1168 01:10:35,898 --> 01:10:38,526 [NO SIGNAL] SAURON! 1169 01:10:43,505 --> 01:10:46,571 Nothing to see... 1170 01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:56,207 - Whoo, we did it! - That was so rad! 1171 01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:59,312 Come on, let's hear it for us. That was incredible! 1172 01:10:59,321 --> 01:11:01,414 - I felt so jazzed! - I say jazzed! 1173 01:11:01,423 --> 01:11:03,414 I've gotta give it to you, Batman. That was awesome. 1174 01:11:03,459 --> 01:11:06,485 - And you were awesome, you were awesome, - Thanks. - I love compliments. 1175 01:11:06,495 --> 01:11:10,431 And I was amazing, but I'm not trying to make it about myself, obviously, 1176 01:11:10,432 --> 01:11:13,299 I just want to make sure that everyone gets a pat on the back. 1177 01:11:13,302 --> 01:11:14,462 - It feels good. - It does feel good! 1178 01:11:14,503 --> 01:11:18,371 You had a good idea, and you had a good idea, and you had a good idea, 1179 01:11:18,372 --> 01:11:18,373 and I had a great idea and I just, 1180 01:11:18,374 --> 01:11:22,504 I think that collectively, I'm gonna add... 1. 1181 01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,372 No way! 1182 01:11:25,381 --> 01:11:28,350 - Man, that feels good! - Best team ever! 1183 01:11:28,350 --> 01:11:30,409 Let's take a photo! Alright, everyone squeeze together... 1184 01:11:30,452 --> 01:11:33,319 Hang on a second. Gettin' my pump on. 1185 01:11:33,355 --> 01:11:34,515 - It's worth it! - Okay, everybody in? 1186 01:11:34,757 --> 01:11:38,183 - These abs are no fluke. - Everyone say 'Bat Family'! 1187 01:11:38,194 --> 01:11:42,290 - Bat Family! - Bat Familyyyyy.... 1188 01:11:42,431 --> 01:11:44,365 - Look at that. - Splendid. 1189 01:11:44,366 --> 01:11:47,329 Wow. Didn't it turn out great? 1190 01:11:48,370 --> 01:11:52,297 Hey guys, it's my first family photo! 1191 01:12:20,436 --> 01:12:23,003 Hey, Bat Dad. 1192 01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:26,399 - What are you doing? - I'm tryna give you a big old H-U-G. 1193 01:12:26,408 --> 01:12:28,209 Okay, just... 1194 01:12:29,378 --> 01:12:31,437 Batman, are you okay? 1195 01:12:31,447 --> 01:12:34,011 No, yeah, I'm fine. 1196 01:12:34,049 --> 01:12:40,546 We are just one big happy... fraternity of people, who did an awesome job together. 1197 01:12:41,156 --> 01:12:43,524 - I can't think of any other way to put that. - Cool. 1198 01:12:43,558 --> 01:12:45,251 So, guys, listen up... 1199 01:12:45,394 --> 01:12:49,387 Taking the projector from the Joker is gonna be our most dangerous mission yet. 1200 01:12:49,398 --> 01:12:51,398 - A family battle mission! - Right. 1201 01:12:51,401 --> 01:12:53,211 Salvage what you can out of the Scuttler, 1202 01:12:53,236 --> 01:12:56,236 maybe root around, see if you can find a few vitamin waters or something, 1203 01:12:56,270 --> 01:12:57,670 - then we'll head out. - Okay. 1204 01:12:57,705 --> 01:12:59,205 - Anything for you, Padre. 1205 01:13:03,445 --> 01:13:09,406 - We'll need snow shoes... - I don't think so, but could you grab that- 1206 01:13:09,451 --> 01:13:10,440 - Padre? - Batman? 1207 01:13:10,452 --> 01:13:13,287 - Sir? - What are you doing? 1208 01:13:13,322 --> 01:13:16,155 Batman, please, wait! 1209 01:13:16,158 --> 01:13:18,088 'Puter. 1210 01:13:18,494 --> 01:13:23,329 - Yes Sir. - I'm locking in some coordinates now. 1211 01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:27,358 Take the Scuttler to the taco stand on the border of Gotham City and Bludhaven. 1212 01:13:27,359 --> 01:13:27,844 No! 1213 01:13:27,869 --> 01:13:32,297 I want you to get these guys a couple of Chimichangas and 3 Jarritos. 1214 01:13:32,298 --> 01:13:32,683 Sir! 1215 01:13:32,708 --> 01:13:36,301 And then keep them there until this whole attack on Gotham City blows over. 1216 01:13:36,445 --> 01:13:41,473 - Padre, please! Don't do this. - Batman, you need us! 1217 01:13:41,483 --> 01:13:44,250 How many times I gotta tell you? 1218 01:13:44,353 --> 01:13:47,054 Batman works alone. 1219 01:13:47,189 --> 01:13:50,081 No, we have to stick together. 1220 01:13:50,325 --> 01:13:51,383 Please. 1221 01:13:51,427 --> 01:13:54,025 Go on, Scuttler, go! 1222 01:13:54,263 --> 01:13:56,254 - Go! Just get out of here! - Batman! 1223 01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:58,460 - Get moving! - Please! 1224 01:13:58,500 --> 01:14:01,298 - Just go. - Batman! 1225 01:14:01,336 --> 01:14:04,305 - Scuttler, move out! - You're doing the wrong thing! 1226 01:14:04,306 --> 01:14:06,144 Listen to me, don't do this! 1227 01:14:06,169 --> 01:14:08,289 Nooo! 1228 01:14:29,531 --> 01:14:34,101 - Scanning for intruders... - Scanning for intruders... 1229 01:14:37,140 --> 01:14:38,340 Hi Bats. 1230 01:14:38,390 --> 01:14:41,551 What have you done to my... to Bruce Wayne's house? 1231 01:14:41,610 --> 01:14:44,479 You'd better hope he's a cool guy and doesn't go crazy. 1232 01:14:44,513 --> 01:14:48,279 - What happened to all your friends? - I don't need friends. 1233 01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:51,111 I don't need anyone to stop you. 1234 01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:56,114 Are you sure about that? Look in the mirror Batman. 1235 01:14:56,525 --> 01:15:00,393 When I saw you working with your friend family, 1236 01:15:00,395 --> 01:15:03,489 I actually thought you'd changed. But no. 1237 01:15:03,532 --> 01:15:06,232 You pushed them away. 1238 01:15:09,304 --> 01:15:11,805 You've run away from every other person in your life, 1239 01:15:11,830 --> 01:15:14,435 but I'm the one you're always chasing. 1240 01:15:14,476 --> 01:15:19,504 - Is this about that stupid 'greatest enemy' thing? - No, it's not. 1241 01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:22,313 - Not anymore. - You tell him, Joker. 1242 01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:25,320 - Time for a fresh start. - HE'S NOT WORTH IT. 1243 01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:31,055 - I think after 78 years, I deserve respect. - That is right, respect! 1244 01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:35,658 Do you realize that you have never once said the words, 1245 01:15:36,283 --> 01:15:40,292 - 'I hate you Joker'? - Not once. 1246 01:15:40,335 --> 01:15:44,431 Well I am starting to feel pretty annoyed with you right now. That's for darn sure. 1247 01:15:44,439 --> 01:15:47,408 I know it, we said the same thing! 1248 01:15:47,442 --> 01:15:53,506 Listen, Batman. I... hate you. 1249 01:15:53,515 --> 01:15:55,945 - Aww! - That's nice! 1250 01:15:56,085 --> 01:15:57,678 Now you say it. 1251 01:15:59,221 --> 01:16:00,321 Me too. 1252 01:16:04,059 --> 01:16:06,220 You won't. You won't change. 1253 01:16:06,461 --> 01:16:09,328 Cause you can't. You won't, and you can't. 1254 01:16:09,331 --> 01:16:11,299 Batman will never change! 1255 01:16:11,300 --> 01:16:13,393 You know uncle boo? Just shut it down. 1256 01:16:13,435 --> 01:16:16,427 - These diseased lunatics are right. - Yes, we are. 1257 01:16:16,471 --> 01:16:22,307 - I'm not gonna be part of a one-sided relationship any longer! - Yes! 1258 01:16:22,311 --> 01:16:24,336 - What are you talking about? - You and I are done. 1259 01:16:24,379 --> 01:16:26,347 - What is wrong with you? - I'm moving on! 1260 01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:33,253 - That's ridiculous. - And on my way out, I'm gonna blow up Gotham City! 1261 01:16:33,255 --> 01:16:37,487 - No, you're not serious! - Wingardium Leviosa! 1262 01:16:37,526 --> 01:16:42,463 You know what, for once Batman you're right. I'm not your greatest enemy. 1263 01:16:42,464 --> 01:16:45,592 Your greatest enemy is you. 1264 01:16:45,617 --> 01:16:48,460 - Goodbye, Batman. - Wait a minute, hold on a second! 1265 01:16:48,470 --> 01:16:51,268 - Good for you, boo boo! - Yay! 1266 01:16:51,306 --> 01:16:55,306 Everything get a bomb, let's go. Bomb, bomb, bomb, let's bomb it out. 1267 01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:01,778 Say goodbye Gotham City! 1268 01:17:02,202 --> 01:17:04,402 [♪ THE PHANTOM ZONE] 1269 01:17:13,028 --> 01:17:16,456 - HI! - Oh, I am so sorry! 1270 01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:21,232 It's my fault, I keep doing that. Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy. 1271 01:17:21,269 --> 01:17:23,396 What are you talking about? I'm not a bad guy. 1272 01:17:23,438 --> 01:17:27,306 But you're all in black, you have a cape, and you wear a big scary mask. 1273 01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:29,368 - Well I'm not. - And you kicked me in the face! 1274 01:17:29,411 --> 01:17:33,404 - Listen, I'm Batman. - Oof, you even sound like a bad guy. 1275 01:17:33,448 --> 01:17:37,282 - I swear, I'm a good guy. - Okay, Mr Batman, 1276 01:17:37,285 --> 01:17:39,412 hold still while I scan you. 1277 01:17:39,454 --> 01:17:41,422 Scanning for badness... 1278 01:17:41,423 --> 01:17:44,290 - You're super nimble, right? - I sure am! 1279 01:17:44,292 --> 01:17:48,319 - And 110% expendable. - I don't know what that means, but okay. 1280 01:17:48,330 --> 01:17:51,493 - How'd I do, Dad? - Mediocre. And don't call me dad. 1281 01:17:51,533 --> 01:17:52,933 Sorry. 1282 01:17:54,403 --> 01:17:57,338 Alfred, put that kid on the next jet to the orphanage. 1283 01:17:57,339 --> 01:18:02,402 But doesn't he deserve a chance for someone to take him under their wing? 1284 01:18:02,444 --> 01:18:05,379 As I took you under mine? 1285 01:18:05,380 --> 01:18:11,241 Listen, you don't have a family, so what do you know about having a surrogate son? 1286 01:18:14,089 --> 01:18:18,119 Batman, we have to stick together. 1287 01:18:18,460 --> 01:18:20,927 Please. 1288 01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:26,433 Joker, you mean nothing to me. 1289 01:18:27,157 --> 01:18:29,257 No one does. 1290 01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:38,500 You're not a traditional bad guy, but you're not exactly a good guy either. 1291 01:18:39,181 --> 01:18:42,378 You even abandon your friends. 1292 01:18:42,517 --> 01:18:45,384 - What? - Go on Scuttler, go! 1293 01:18:45,420 --> 01:18:47,217 - Batman, don't do this. 1294 01:18:47,255 --> 01:18:52,349 - No, I was trying to protect them! - By pushing them away? 1295 01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:54,419 Well, yeah. 1296 01:18:54,463 --> 01:18:58,356 Are they really the ones you're protecting? 1297 01:19:00,368 --> 01:19:04,270 Computer, Batman's in danger. Please Computer, take us back. 1298 01:19:04,272 --> 01:19:06,421 Do you really want the man who made you to come to harm? 1299 01:19:06,446 --> 01:19:08,368 Batman programmed me to obey him. 1300 01:19:08,376 --> 01:19:11,345 but he didn't say to not not rescue him. 1301 01:19:11,379 --> 01:19:12,346 What are they doing? 1302 01:19:12,347 --> 01:19:16,477 Come on guys, hustle, Gotham City's not going to blow itself up! 1303 01:19:16,518 --> 01:19:19,518 Well, hello. 1304 01:19:23,859 --> 01:19:26,856 'Puter, go to super secret stealth mode. 1305 01:19:29,397 --> 01:19:31,162 - Hold on! - No! 1306 01:19:31,199 --> 01:19:35,363 Evil buddies, those are my last 3 painful reminders of Batman. 1307 01:19:35,470 --> 01:19:37,495 Run! Come on Alfred, this way! 1308 01:19:37,539 --> 01:19:42,442 - Wait, where's Dick? - The little guy? He's over there. 1309 01:19:42,444 --> 01:19:45,345 - What's he doing? - Gotta save my family. 1310 01:19:45,347 --> 01:19:47,474 Just think, what would Batman do? 1311 01:19:47,516 --> 01:19:49,279 - What? - I know, 1312 01:19:49,284 --> 01:19:51,745 not listen to anyone else, be mean to people, 1313 01:19:51,770 --> 01:19:55,484 destroy as much property as possible, talk in a really low gravelly voice, 1314 01:19:55,490 --> 01:19:57,355 and go it alone. 1315 01:19:57,392 --> 01:19:58,381 Kid, don't do that! 1316 01:19:58,426 --> 01:20:01,485 Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed. 1317 01:20:01,530 --> 01:20:04,398 Don't do what I would do! I never even taught you how to drive! 1318 01:20:04,399 --> 01:20:08,426 Hold on a second, brick lady. I'm so sorry, I need to get down there and stop this. 1319 01:20:08,470 --> 01:20:11,371 I can't let you go, my boss will be really mad at me. 1320 01:20:11,373 --> 01:20:15,434 Yeah, but I bet your boss would be happy if you were able to get all those bad guys back in here. 1321 01:20:15,443 --> 01:20:19,379 - Hmm, she sure would. - Then let me try, let me get down there and help them. 1322 01:20:19,414 --> 01:20:22,008 But haven't you tried that before? 1323 01:20:22,785 --> 01:20:24,285 This way Alfred. 1324 01:20:25,520 --> 01:20:29,179 You do the same thing over and over. 1325 01:20:32,460 --> 01:20:35,061 What's gonna change? 1326 01:20:36,965 --> 01:20:38,990 I know what I need to do. 1327 01:20:39,201 --> 01:20:42,394 Just give me 24 hours and I'll come back. 1328 01:20:43,505 --> 01:20:46,205 You've gotta let me go down there and save them. 1329 01:20:47,976 --> 01:20:49,476 I'll do whatever you want. 1330 01:20:50,412 --> 01:20:52,169 - Please. - EXTERMINATE. 1331 01:20:52,194 --> 01:20:53,372 Please. 1332 01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:58,209 - Okay, but I need all the bad guys locked up in here. - I promise. 1333 01:20:59,487 --> 01:21:02,521 And I mean all of them. 1334 01:21:03,258 --> 01:21:05,383 One of these buttons has to save my friends! 1335 01:21:05,427 --> 01:21:08,763 - Self-destruct mode activated. - Self what? 1336 01:21:09,397 --> 01:21:12,231 - Master Dick! - No! 1337 01:21:15,370 --> 01:21:17,596 Look who's bat! 1338 01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:19,406 What? 1339 01:21:28,150 --> 01:21:30,311 Everyone okay? Dick, Alfred, Barbara? 1340 01:21:30,518 --> 01:21:33,786 - Are you guys- - We're fine, Batman. 1341 01:21:35,490 --> 01:21:39,990 Listen, I just wanted to say... 1342 01:21:42,097 --> 01:21:48,229 That I'm really... really... really... 1343 01:21:48,470 --> 01:21:52,497 really really really... really really... 1344 01:21:57,379 --> 01:22:02,016 sooooo... 1345 01:22:02,317 --> 01:22:06,213 - Sorry? - Yeah! Woo, I did it! 1346 01:22:08,356 --> 01:22:11,116 I don't even know why you bothered coming back. 1347 01:22:13,361 --> 01:22:17,425 I... was... afraid. 1348 01:22:17,532 --> 01:22:19,430 What? 1349 01:22:20,502 --> 01:22:26,407 The reason I came back was the same reason I left you. 1350 01:22:28,110 --> 01:22:35,175 I was afraid... of feeling... the pain... 1351 01:22:35,417 --> 01:22:40,514 you feel... when you lose... 1352 01:22:40,522 --> 01:22:43,522 ...someone close to you. 1353 01:22:50,999 --> 01:22:53,160 Gotham needs us. 1354 01:22:53,468 --> 01:22:57,495 So I came back to do this. 1355 01:22:57,539 --> 01:22:59,935 Flip. 1356 01:23:00,041 --> 01:23:01,730 Flip? What is that, I don't- 1357 01:23:01,776 --> 01:23:05,069 You gotta turn around. 1358 01:23:05,480 --> 01:23:11,350 I call it the Babs Signal, and I'm flipping the switch for you. 1359 01:23:11,353 --> 01:23:15,012 Because saving this city is too big a job for one person. 1360 01:23:15,057 --> 01:23:17,849 Flip, flip. 1361 01:23:21,463 --> 01:23:27,259 So what do you say, Commish? Will you work with me? 1362 01:23:27,369 --> 01:23:30,138 I need your help. 1363 01:23:30,372 --> 01:23:32,964 I thought you'd never ask. 1364 01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:36,405 I'm very, very proud of you, son. 1365 01:23:36,511 --> 01:23:40,504 But there's still only 4 of us against Joker's entire army. 1366 01:23:40,548 --> 01:23:43,278 That's why I called in some backup. 1367 01:23:43,284 --> 01:23:46,412 Flip flip flip flip... 1368 01:23:46,421 --> 01:23:50,255 - Woah! - We saw your signal and we came to help! 1369 01:23:50,258 --> 01:23:52,488 Joker may be done with us, but we're not done with him. 1370 01:23:52,527 --> 01:23:57,464 - We will be the Joker's reckoning! - Joker said mean stuff to us. 1371 01:23:57,465 --> 01:24:03,426 You were right Barbara: It takes a village, not a Batman. 1372 01:24:04,472 --> 01:24:07,270 Okay, everybody listen up. 1373 01:24:07,275 --> 01:24:10,438 These monsters wanna destroy Gotham City. 1374 01:24:10,478 --> 01:24:12,503 That's right. We need sick new vehicles. 1375 01:24:12,547 --> 01:24:15,243 An arsenal of advanced weaponry. 1376 01:24:15,250 --> 01:24:17,514 Costumes that suit our individual personalities. 1377 01:24:17,519 --> 01:24:18,451 RIP! 1378 01:24:18,486 --> 01:24:21,319 And codenames to use on our walkie-talkies. 1379 01:24:21,356 --> 01:24:24,325 - Call it out! Your name is... Lady Bat. - Lady Bat? 1380 01:24:24,359 --> 01:24:26,048 - Bat Lady. - Veto. - Batarina. - No. 1381 01:24:26,073 --> 01:24:28,318 - Soccer-Mom Bat. - What? 1382 01:24:28,329 --> 01:24:30,490 How about a cool costume? Nice! 1383 01:24:30,532 --> 01:24:35,231 - That one's called 'Batgirl'. - If I'm Batgirl, I can call you Batboy? 1384 01:24:35,236 --> 01:24:40,469 And lastly, a coordinated attack strategy and a kick butt theme song. Robin? 1385 01:24:40,508 --> 01:24:44,074 - My superhero codename! - Oh yeah! Hit it! 1386 01:24:44,079 --> 01:24:44,979 Got it! 1387 01:24:45,250 --> 01:24:48,050 [♪ WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO] No! 1388 01:24:48,200 --> 01:24:51,400 [♪ NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP] Ugh! 1389 01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:54,321 [♪ FLY ROBIN FLY] Absolutely not. 1390 01:24:54,345 --> 01:24:56,845 [♪ HEROES (WE COULD BE)] 1391 01:24:57,258 --> 01:25:00,318 This music is filling me with rage. 1392 01:25:00,361 --> 01:25:02,188 Let's use it. 1393 01:25:02,497 --> 01:25:05,164 Alright team, I'm gonna need to know your special powers. 1394 01:25:05,400 --> 01:25:08,301 - I'm a giant clay person! - I'm irritating! 1395 01:25:08,336 --> 01:25:11,287 [CONVERSATION OVERLAPPING] 1396 01:25:11,312 --> 01:25:12,238 [CONVERSATION OVERLAPPING] - Ketchup! 1397 01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,368 - Nice! Orca? - I'm a whale. 1398 01:25:15,410 --> 01:25:17,344 Oh, we got this covered! 1399 01:25:21,316 --> 01:25:22,516 Whale yeah! 1400 01:25:25,020 --> 01:25:26,749 Shh, quiet. 1401 01:25:27,088 --> 01:25:29,147 Who's laying down those funky beats? 1402 01:25:29,357 --> 01:25:31,450 We are! 1403 01:25:31,493 --> 01:25:33,056 Batman!? 1404 01:25:33,061 --> 01:25:35,256 Evil Army, get rid of them! 1405 01:25:35,497 --> 01:25:38,432 Team Gotham Family, activate! 1406 01:25:38,433 --> 01:25:39,733 Voldy's got this. 1407 01:25:53,457 --> 01:25:54,357 Woah. 1408 01:25:54,382 --> 01:25:58,284 Batman, take out Joker's bomb. I'll get that projector. 1409 01:25:58,286 --> 01:25:59,979 10-4. 1410 01:26:00,421 --> 01:26:05,221 - Freeze, Clayface, Take this guy out! - Coming through! 1411 01:26:09,064 --> 01:26:11,492 Okay Alfred, bring the pain. 1412 01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:16,903 Bringing it Sir, for Queen and country! 1413 01:26:17,438 --> 01:26:19,938 You just got union jacked! 1414 01:26:21,442 --> 01:26:25,503 Robin, get ready. I'm about to teach you some father and son stuff. 1415 01:26:26,047 --> 01:26:29,307 - First, driving. Put your hands at 10 to 2. - Okay. 1416 01:26:29,317 --> 01:26:32,411 Now fly. Turn left. 1417 01:26:32,453 --> 01:26:36,514 Run over these skeletons. Now drive up the wall. 1418 01:26:36,958 --> 01:26:39,486 - Great driving! - Thanks, Padre. 1419 01:26:42,430 --> 01:26:46,064 Okay, Robin, together we're gonna punch these guys so hard 1420 01:26:46,067 --> 01:26:50,967 words describing the impact are going to spontaneously materialize out of thin air. 1421 01:27:02,383 --> 01:27:03,350 High five! 1422 01:27:03,351 --> 01:27:05,512 Stop moving around, muggle! 1423 01:27:05,520 --> 01:27:09,117 Alright team, let's shut him down. 1424 01:27:09,157 --> 01:27:10,884 Orca, you're up baby. 1425 01:27:11,426 --> 01:27:15,328 You wanna see a magic trick? I'm gonna make you disappear! 1426 01:27:15,330 --> 01:27:18,299 - Wingardium Levio- - Yoink! 1427 01:27:18,299 --> 01:27:21,359 Wingardium Levio shut up! 1428 01:27:21,402 --> 01:27:25,038 Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy. 1429 01:27:25,340 --> 01:27:29,367 Here we go, Bat Team. Batman's in sight. 1430 01:27:31,279 --> 01:27:37,275 - Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy. - Robin, go long! 1431 01:27:38,319 --> 01:27:40,310 Oh my gosh, yes! 1432 01:27:40,355 --> 01:27:42,355 Here you go, grandpa. 1433 01:27:43,191 --> 01:27:43,991 Hey Batman! 1434 01:27:47,462 --> 01:27:50,488 Get off my Padre! 1435 01:27:51,066 --> 01:27:55,394 It wasn't useless after all! End this, Batgirl! 1436 01:27:57,338 --> 01:28:00,030 Adios, Shark! 1437 01:28:00,441 --> 01:28:03,741 Okay, we have 'em beat guys. I'm gonna go defuse that- 1438 01:28:16,157 --> 01:28:18,357 It's the end of Gotham City! 1439 01:28:19,460 --> 01:28:23,094 As I predicted... we're doomed! 1440 01:28:23,331 --> 01:28:26,391 We're not doomed, I got this. 1441 01:28:26,401 --> 01:28:29,336 Everyone grab on to me. 1442 01:28:29,370 --> 01:28:33,100 Come on guys, we need to hold this city together! 1443 01:28:34,109 --> 01:28:37,437 - Bat-Rope, no! - Everybody run! 1444 01:28:37,445 --> 01:28:40,471 No, we have to stick together! Right, Batman? 1445 01:28:40,515 --> 01:28:44,417 - We need to use our heads - Maybe we should build something together. 1446 01:28:44,419 --> 01:28:49,379 - Stick together... - Build something... 1447 01:28:52,460 --> 01:28:57,221 I got it! You're right Babs, we need to stick together... literally! 1448 01:28:57,231 --> 01:29:00,467 - Robin, quick, give me a boost! - On it, Padre! 1449 01:29:00,468 --> 01:29:05,371 We're gonna stick together using our heads, and the most powerful weapon of all, 1450 01:29:05,373 --> 01:29:08,200 shredded abs. Let's do this. 1451 01:29:09,810 --> 01:29:14,305 - You got this, Alfred? - Yes, Sir. Abs of steel! 1452 01:29:14,315 --> 01:29:18,350 Great! Now you bend, and I'll grab the other side. 1453 01:29:19,387 --> 01:29:20,587 No! 1454 01:29:26,427 --> 01:29:31,455 - Joker, please, help us. - No, I'm not going to help you! 1455 01:29:31,499 --> 01:29:37,369 at least if this city is destroyed, I'll die knowing I'm your greatest enemy. 1456 01:29:37,405 --> 01:29:39,464 I have to die to know it. 1457 01:29:39,507 --> 01:29:46,076 Shut up Joker! If there's no Gotham, then I'll never get to fight you again! 1458 01:29:46,314 --> 01:29:47,805 What? 1459 01:29:48,316 --> 01:29:54,255 You're the reason why I get up at 4 o'clock in the afternoon and pump iron until my chest is positively sick. 1460 01:29:54,255 --> 01:29:59,283 You're the reason I've given up a life spent with Russian ballerinas and Lady Activewear models. 1461 01:29:59,327 --> 01:30:05,357 And if it wasn't for you, I never would have learned how connected I am with all these people... 1462 01:30:05,366 --> 01:30:07,059 ...and you. 1463 01:30:08,036 --> 01:30:11,900 So if you help me save Gotham... 1464 01:30:12,473 --> 01:30:15,174 ...you'll help me save us. 1465 01:30:15,376 --> 01:30:18,109 You just said, ''us''? 1466 01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:23,379 Yeah. Batman and the Joker. 1467 01:30:23,484 --> 01:30:26,117 What do you say? 1468 01:30:26,320 --> 01:30:29,080 You had me at 'shut up'. 1469 01:30:30,324 --> 01:30:34,488 - How are your abs, bro? - Too much flab, not enough ab. Why? 1470 01:30:34,495 --> 01:30:37,025 Because I need you to crunch them. 1471 01:30:37,265 --> 01:30:41,258 Citizens of Gotham! We need all of you to join us 1472 01:30:41,269 --> 01:30:44,166 and help bring this city back together. 1473 01:31:09,397 --> 01:31:11,490 I'm just gonna come right out and say it. 1474 01:31:11,499 --> 01:31:14,366 I hate you, Joker. 1475 01:31:14,402 --> 01:31:16,393 - I hate you, too. - I hate you more. 1476 01:31:16,404 --> 01:31:20,841 - I hate you the most. - I hate you forever. 1477 01:31:23,444 --> 01:31:24,944 We did it everyone! 1478 01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:31,800 Bane is feeling warm and fuzzy. 1479 01:31:36,491 --> 01:31:38,182 Padre. 1480 01:31:38,526 --> 01:31:40,517 Where you going? 1481 01:31:40,528 --> 01:31:42,428 I made a promise. 1482 01:31:42,463 --> 01:31:45,455 I gotta go back to the Phantom Zone. 1483 01:31:45,466 --> 01:31:49,300 - Sorry, kid. - Padre, please! 1484 01:31:49,337 --> 01:31:53,364 - Don't call me Padre. - Okay. 1485 01:31:53,407 --> 01:31:55,840 Call me... 1486 01:31:58,446 --> 01:31:59,946 Dads. 1487 01:32:00,481 --> 01:32:04,474 My 2 dads are the same dad! 1488 01:32:04,519 --> 01:32:08,455 But, they're both leaving. 1489 01:32:08,489 --> 01:32:11,515 It's gonna be okay, kid. 1490 01:32:12,160 --> 01:32:15,086 Sometimes losing people is part of life. 1491 01:32:15,296 --> 01:32:19,132 But that doesn't mean you stop letting them in. 1492 01:32:19,167 --> 01:32:22,230 Some very wise people taught me that. 1493 01:32:22,470 --> 01:32:25,439 My father figure. 1494 01:32:25,439 --> 01:32:28,374 My platonic co-worker buddy, 1495 01:32:28,409 --> 01:32:32,077 who's a girl, but just a friend. 1496 01:32:32,446 --> 01:32:41,377 And you... 'Mi Hijo'. It's Spanish for 'son'. 1497 01:32:42,356 --> 01:32:49,062 This is my family, but it's your family too. 1498 01:33:51,425 --> 01:33:53,317 - You have a knife? - Why? 1499 01:33:53,326 --> 01:33:56,762 Because someone needs to cut the tension between the 2 of us. 1500 01:33:58,532 --> 01:34:01,330 - Okay, I deserve that. - Hi! 1501 01:34:01,369 --> 01:34:03,337 Wait a minute, what's going on? 1502 01:34:03,371 --> 01:34:05,464 I came back, just like I said I would, 1503 01:34:05,473 --> 01:34:07,373 You know, Mr Batman, 1504 01:34:07,408 --> 01:34:10,377 when you're a talking brick working at the Phantom Zone 1505 01:34:10,378 --> 01:34:13,245 you see a lot of crazy things. 1506 01:34:13,280 --> 01:34:17,341 But I've finally seen a man, in order to make the world a better place, 1507 01:34:17,351 --> 01:34:20,514 take a look at himself, and make a change. 1508 01:34:20,521 --> 01:34:22,318 Who? 1509 01:34:22,356 --> 01:34:24,290 - Superman. - WHAT!? 1510 01:34:24,325 --> 01:34:27,385 I'm kidding. It's you! 1511 01:34:28,529 --> 01:34:31,396 Well, I guess I'll be seeing you on the streets, Batman. 1512 01:34:31,399 --> 01:34:36,302 - I guess so. catch you later, Joker. - Let's go, gang! 1513 01:34:36,303 --> 01:34:38,430 We're not just gonna let these criminals go, right? 1514 01:34:38,439 --> 01:34:42,375 Ah come on Comish, let's face it, those guys are no match for the 4 of us. 1515 01:34:42,410 --> 01:34:48,149 We'll give them a 30 minute head start. Besides, you can't fight crime on an empty stomach. 1516 01:34:48,173 --> 01:34:49,516 [♪ MAN IN THE MIRROR] 1517 01:34:49,517 --> 01:34:54,318 - Hey Computer. - We're home! 1518 01:34:55,523 --> 01:34:59,726 - What is the password? - Iron Man sucks! 1519 01:35:15,209 --> 01:35:19,838 You... complete me. 1520 01:35:32,493 --> 01:35:36,887 Holy family photo, Batman! I love it! 1521 01:35:42,503 --> 01:35:43,503 White. 1522 01:35:43,527 --> 01:35:48,499 All important movies end with a white screen. 1523 01:35:48,509 --> 01:35:50,500 And tying up loose ends... 1524 01:35:50,544 --> 01:35:54,503 - We're coming for you, Gotham City! - Like this Snake-Clowns bit. 1525 01:35:54,515 --> 01:35:57,045 - Snake clowns? - Told you they were real. 1526 01:35:57,051 --> 01:36:01,020 Did you stick wigs onto snakes? That is so weird! 1527 01:36:01,154 --> 01:36:03,348 Hey, can I play that song I wrote for the end credits? 1528 01:36:03,390 --> 01:36:05,483 - That's a hard pass. - Come on! 1529 01:36:05,493 --> 01:36:07,484 - Let the kid play whatever music he wants! - No no no! 1530 01:36:07,528 --> 01:36:10,395 - Please? - No! - Padre? 1531 01:36:10,397 --> 01:36:14,424 - Fine. 'Puter. - Okay, Sir. 1532 01:36:14,435 --> 01:36:16,500 Now playing, [♪ ROBIN'S HAPPY POPPY MUSIC] 1533 01:36:16,525 --> 01:36:20,465 The kind that makes parents and studio executives happy. 1534 01:36:20,508 --> 01:36:23,972 ♪ I wake up early in the morning ♪ and I'm texting you 1535 01:36:24,546 --> 01:36:26,774 Hey Robin, it's 7:30! 1536 01:36:26,798 --> 01:36:30,398 ♪ Well that's okay I'm ready ♪ to fight crime with you, the Dark Knight! 1537 01:36:30,422 --> 01:36:32,222 I'll be sleeping past 2! 1538 01:36:32,246 --> 01:36:36,346 ♪ We sometimes fight (BOOM POW BAM) ♪ but we always make up! 1539 01:36:36,400 --> 01:36:38,700 - Hey man I'm sorry - It's okay! 1540 01:36:38,700 --> 01:36:41,500 ♪ We're not related ♪ but here's good news 1541 01:36:41,524 --> 01:36:44,224 ♪ Friends are the family ♪ you can choose 1542 01:36:44,248 --> 01:36:47,448 ♪ High five, down low, ♪ to the side, let's go! 1543 01:36:47,580 --> 01:36:50,580 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ my best friend 1544 01:36:51,600 --> 01:36:53,300 ♪ And friends are family 1545 01:36:53,400 --> 01:36:56,900 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ my best friend 1546 01:36:57,700 --> 01:36:59,912 ♪ And friends are family 1547 01:36:59,937 --> 01:37:01,847 ♪ You're my family! 1548 01:37:01,848 --> 01:37:04,148 ♪ Come on everybody and sing 1549 01:37:04,251 --> 01:37:06,051 - Come on, Batman! - No! 1550 01:37:06,175 --> 01:37:08,575 ♪ You're my best friend, my best friend 1551 01:37:09,200 --> 01:37:11,200 ♪ And friends are family 1552 01:37:11,424 --> 01:37:13,924 ♪ Best friends! My friends are the best! 1553 01:37:14,780 --> 01:37:17,280 ♪ Best friends! My friends are the best! 1554 01:37:17,304 --> 01:37:19,127 My friends are the best. 1555 01:37:19,228 --> 01:37:22,928 ♪ I got a utility belt ♪ A sparkly cape 1556 01:37:23,000 --> 01:37:25,800 ♪ Saw the signal so I'm heading ♪ back to the cave 1557 01:37:25,876 --> 01:37:29,076 - Well I'm all smiles! - It's Joker! Don't be afraid. 1558 01:37:29,076 --> 01:37:33,076 We'll always bet on black. That's a fact, come on Robin watch my back! 1559 01:37:33,100 --> 01:37:35,300 ♪ Well I don't think that you ♪ were happy till I met you 1560 01:37:35,382 --> 01:37:36,082 I was. 1561 01:37:36,106 --> 01:37:41,306 ♪ I know you're playing buddy, we can't lose ♪ Cause friends are the family you can choose 1562 01:37:41,388 --> 01:37:45,347 Robin gimme the mic, drop the beat, think you can handle that? 1562 01:37:46,305 --> 01:38:46,829 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/8ym Help other users to choose the best subtitles