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00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:01,967
Black.
2
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:07,435
All important movies start
with a black screen.
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00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:12,462
And music. Edgy, scary, music
4
00:00:12,487 --> 00:00:16,573
that would make a parent or
studio executive nervous.
5
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:23,855
And logos. Really long and dramatic logos.
6
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:29,118
Warner Bross.
Why not Warner Brothers? I dunno.
7
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,456
DC.
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00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:38,301
The house that Batman built.
9
00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:42,502
Yeah, what Superman. Come at me bro.
10
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,478
I'm your Kryptonite.
11
00:00:51,190 --> 00:00:56,093
Hmm. Not sure what Ratpac does,
but that logo is macho.
12
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,682
I dig it.
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00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,518
Okay.
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Get yourself ready for some...
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Get yourself ready for some... reading.
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"If you want to make the world
a better place,
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take a look at yourself and
make a change."
18
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,329
take a look at yourself and
make a change. Hooo!"
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00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,906
No, I said that!
20
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:18,001
Batman is very wise.
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00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:22,472
I also have huge pecs. And a 9 pack.
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Yeah I've got an extra ab.
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Now, let's start the movie.
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[GOTHAM AIRSPACE, 10:25]
25
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:40,500
Gotham Tower, this is MacGuffin Airlines,
Flight 1138.
26
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:45,365
We are transporting 11 million sticks
of dynamite, 17000 pounds of C4,
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00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:50,172
About 150 cute little plastic bomb
type bombs, and 2 best friends!
28
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:54,235
And request permission to fly over the
most crime-ridden city in the world, over.
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I'm just looking at all the guys faces
here in the control tower.
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- I'm good. - Sounds good to me
- Let's do it!
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Yep, I think we're cool with that.
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00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:10,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Gentlemen, breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
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- What was that?
- One of us should check it out.
35
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,477
- Okay.
- Scissors paper rock...
36
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- Scissors. - Paper.
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- You always do paper!
- I'm a loser at home, and a loser at work.
38
00:02:41,771 --> 00:02:43,371
Holy cow!
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00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,491
Captain Dale, is everything okay?
40
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I'm afraid Captain Dale had to bail.
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00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,839
I'm your new co-pilot,
and I always come to work...
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...with a smile.
43
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- You should be terrified.
- Why?
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Because I will be taking over the city.
45
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,351
- What?
- Batman will stop you.
46
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,484
- He always stops you.
- No he doesn't!
47
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:19,932
- What about that time with the 2 boats?
- This is better than the 2 boats.
48
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:26,446
Well tonight is gonna be different!
Tonight is my greatest plan yet.
49
00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:29,407
Trust me, Batman's never gonna see it coming.
[GOTHAM CITY ENERGY PLANT]
50
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:33,043
- Like the time with the parade and the Prince music?
- Hey, quiet!
51
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,307
- Night, Steve.
- Take it easy, Jeff.
52
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:39,515
Man I really like that guy.
I sure hope nothing bad happens to him.
53
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,781
♪ Nothing bad ever happens to me.
54
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,358
What the-?
55
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:50,419
Your city is under attack
by Gotham's greatest criminal minds.
56
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,397
Including...
57
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,229
The Riddler.
58
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:57,635
- Scarecrow.
- Pizza delivery!
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00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,373
- Bane.
- Hello!
60
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,467
- Two-Face.
- We need that door open, baby!
61
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,445
- Catwoman.
- (Meow meow) You're in! (meow meow)
62
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,479
I'm jumping out the way!
63
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:13,417
And let's not forget, Clayface!
64
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,353
Pew pew pew!
65
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,448
- Poison Ivy.
- Pew pew pew!
66
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:20,055
- Freeze!
- No, you freeze!
67
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,253
Mr Freeze.
68
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:22,483
Penguin.
69
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,395
Crazy Quilt, Eraser.
70
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,523
Polka-Dot Man. Mime. Tarantula.
71
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:29,832
King Tut, Orca, Killer Moth,
March Harriot, Zodiac Master,
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00:04:29,845 --> 00:04:32,315
Gentleman Ghost, Clock King,
Calender Man, Kite Man,
73
00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:36,602
Cat Man, Zebra Man,
and the Condiment King!
74
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:40,470
- Okay, are you making some of those up?
- Nope, they're all real.
75
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:42,344
Probably worth a Google.
76
00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,509
[GOTHAM CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT]
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00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,381
- Hey watch it!
- Commissioner Gordon!
78
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,377
- What is it O'Hara?
- We just got a report!
79
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:51,222
All the C-grade villains have
broken into the energy plant!
80
00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:53,316
- What are we gonna do, Sir?
- The only thing we ever do...
81
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,450
flip the switch to the Bat-Signal!
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00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,429
- Flip!
- Commissioner, are you there?
83
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,996
The Bat-Signal, she's been egged!
84
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,326
It's Egghead, Sir,
I'm well aware of his work.
85
00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:07,295
Dear gosh, you destroyed the Bat-Signal!
You have thought of everything!
86
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:12,471
Yeah, I know, and when I take over Gotham City...
OPENING REACTOR CORE DOORS
87
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:17,472
Batman will grovel at the feet
of his greatest enemy.
88
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:20,285
Me. The Joker!
89
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,516
- Joker, do you read me?
- 10-4, girl buddy.
90
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:29,184
- We're ready for you, sugar plum.
- Well then, let's raise the roof!
91
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,829
Fire in the hole!
92
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:44,136
- O'Hara, have you tried the Bat-Phone?
- Yes, but all I'm getting is this hold music!
93
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,311
I love it.
94
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,341
- I want snipers trained on that building.
- You bet!
95
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,442
- I want water and air support yesterday!
- I'm on it, Sir!
96
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:56,353
- And I need SWAT here now!
- Phone call for Commissioner Gordan.
97
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,345
Hello, Batman?
98
00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,382
Hey Jimmy, It's The Jokes!
99
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:01,360
Nobody calls you that.
100
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:06,331
- No, people do call me that. Okay listen up!
- Go, go, go!
101
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:11,394
At this very moment, an unnecessarily
complicated bomb is being attached
102
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,447
to the inside of the main energy core,
103
00:06:14,472 --> 00:06:18,167
if the Mayor isn't here in 5 minutes
to negotiate the city's surrender,
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00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:22,213
then I shall destroy Gotham City.
105
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,415
I did something!
106
00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:27,211
Doctor, that sounds frightening.
And overly complicated. Talk us through it.
107
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:30,513
Well, I don't wanna scare any
small children who may be listening
108
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,473
but it's a little-known fact
that Gotham City is built
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on a bunch of flimsy
plates stuck together.
110
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:39,366
There's literally nothing beneath us,
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00:06:39,391 --> 00:06:42,511
except an infinite abyss
that smells like dirty underwear.
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00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:46,332
If Joker's bomb were to go off,
these plates would break apart,
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00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:50,957
plunging every Gotham citizen
into the eternal abyss forever.
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00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,000
And you wouldn't want that now,
would you?
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00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:56,115
Now get me the Mayor!
Joker out.
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00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:58,410
Madam Mayor, I cannot ask you to do this!
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00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:01,487
- Jim, did you find Batman?
- No Ma'am.
118
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:05,355
Then we have no choice.
The Joker has the upper hand.
119
00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:08,158
We have to surrender Gotham City.
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00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:11,887
- Oh no.
- I'm sorry!
121
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:16,157
Flying Mayor package in right now.
SWAT team get your stun guns ready.
122
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:17,396
- Non-lethal!
- Yeah!
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00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:21,269
Lowering Mayor package
through the hole.
124
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:27,439
- Madam Mayor, thanks for dropping by!
- I've only got one thing to say to you, Joker.
125
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,473
- Well, you'd better make it fast.
- Do you like to gamble?
126
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:34,049
- Oh, I certainly do.
- Do you ever play roulette?
127
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,145
On occasion.
128
00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:38,323
- Let me give you a word of advice.
- I'm all ears.
129
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:41,183
- When playing roulette...
- Yes?
130
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:43,487
Always bet on black.
131
00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:48,466
Batman!? What are you doing? You're
completely outnumbered here, are you nuts!?
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00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,427
You wanna get nuts? Come on!
Let's get nuts.
133
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,464
Because I just wrote a song about
how I'm gonna kick all your butts.
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Stop him before he starts singing!
135
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000
[♪ WHO'S THE (BAT)MAN]
136
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:05,300
♪ In the darkest night (huh!)
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00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,000
♪ I make the bad guys fall (huh!)
138
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:11,749
♪ There's a million heroes
- Computer, overcompensate!
139
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,735
♪ BUT I'M THE BEST OF THEM ALL!
- I'm on my way, Sir.
140
00:08:14,851 --> 00:08:17,399
♪ Who has the coolest gadgets?
♪ BATMAN!
141
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,400
♪ Who has the tricked-out ride?
♪ BATMAN!
142
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,400
♪ Who does the sickest backflips?
♪ BATMAN!
143
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,780
♪ Na-na na-na na-na na-na
♪ BATMAN!
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00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,203
♪ You think my muscles are big?
- Thank you!
145
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,733
♪ You haven't seen my brain
146
00:08:37,770 --> 00:08:40,070
♪ Ladies, it's okay if you stare
147
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,179
♪ CAUSE I'M A BILLIONAIRE!
148
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:48,056
Get it together guys, you're making me
look bad in front of Batman!
149
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,506
'Puter, where's the bomb?
150
00:08:49,531 --> 00:08:52,754
The bomb is located at the
base of the energy core.
151
00:08:53,255 --> 00:08:56,355
♪ I get the last laugh
♪ I get the final grin
152
00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:59,660
♪ Throw you into the asylum
♪ with Harley Quinn
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00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,200
♪ Turn Two-Face
♪ to black-and-blue face
154
00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:05,341
♪ I'm 100% not
♪ Bruce Wayne!
155
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,646
Kiss me Batman.
156
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,884
♪ Who's the manliest man?
♪ BATMAN!
157
00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,900
♪ With the buns of steel?
♪ BATMAN!
158
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,330
♪ Who could choke hold a bear?
♪ BATMAN!
159
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:20,173
♪ Who never skips leg day?
♪ BATMAN!
160
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:23,924
♪ Who always pays their taxes?
- NOT BATMAN!
161
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:28,096
How is he beating all of you again!?
162
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,537
Because...
163
00:09:30,762 --> 00:09:32,062
I'm Batman!
164
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:35,868
- It's gonna blow!
- I'm Batman!
165
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,044
♪ I'm Batman!
166
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:44,548
Hi Batman, so weird to keep
running into you!
167
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:51,595
Looks like your plan failed.
168
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:55,986
It's only a matter of time
before I take over Gotham City!
169
00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:58,310
Pew, pew, pew!
170
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,359
When does that ever happen?
Computer?
171
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:06,395
Calculating... Never.
172
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:09,939
You know why? Because I'm always
one step ahead of you.
173
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,542
And I always get away!
174
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,607
Not this time.
175
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,076
Because this time...
176
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:22,251
- I've got you.
- Oh, yeah?
177
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,482
Well there's only one problem.
178
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:26,514
Who's gonna defuse the bomb?
179
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:33,294
It's gotta be one or the other, Batman.
Save the city or catch your greatest enemy.
180
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,459
- You can't do both.
- I'm sorry, What'd you just say?
181
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:38,065
- You can't do both.
- No, I mean the other thing.
182
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,061
Save the city or catch
your greatest enemy?
183
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:44,268
- You think you're my greatest enemy?
- Yes, you're obsessed with me!
184
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,410
- No I'm not.
- Yes you are.
185
00:10:45,434 --> 00:10:47,212
- No I'm not.
- YES YOU ARE!
186
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,413
Who else drives you to one-up
them the way that I do?
187
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,049
- Bane.
- No he doesn't!
188
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,373
- Superman!
- Superman's not a bad guy!
189
00:10:53,398 --> 00:10:56,298
Then I'd say that I don't
currently have a bad guy.
190
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,358
I am fighting a few different people.
191
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,057
- What?
- I like to fight around.
192
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:04,491
Okay look, I'm fine with you fighting
other people, if you wanna do that,
193
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:08,398
but what we have is special.
194
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,961
- So when people ask you "who's your
#1 bad guy", you say... - Superman.
195
00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:17,331
Are you seriously saying that there is nothing,
nothing special about our relationship?
196
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:18,873
Woah.
197
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,306
Let me tell you something, J-Bird.
198
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,483
Batman doesn't do 'ships'.
199
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,410
- What?
- As in relation-ships.
200
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,422
There is no us.
201
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:41,931
Batman and Joker are not a thing.
I don't need you. I don't need anyone.
202
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:45,234
You mean nothing to me.
203
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:52,110
No-one does.
204
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,835
Hooray!
[♪ FOREVER]
205
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:28,310
- Batman!
- Batman we love you!
206
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:31,048
Thank you, I'm blushing
super-hard under the mask!
207
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,074
Grazie Batman!
208
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,445
- Prego.
- You're the best Batman!
209
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:36,387
- Oh I'm humbled.
- Thanks Batman!
210
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,157
- Super modest about it, thank you.
- Batman, you're the greatest!
211
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,058
pray hands, pray hands.
212
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,253
- Thanks for saving the city!
- You're welcome!
213
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:47,165
- Batman I love you more than my kids!
- So do I, guy!
214
00:12:52,013 --> 00:12:54,313
You're my hero, Batman!
215
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,974
I love my life.
216
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,089
- Computer.
- Go ahead.
217
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,102
- Are we near the orphanage?
- Yes.
218
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:04,313
Great. Let's turn those frowns
upside down.
219
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,289
Sounds like the Batmobile!
220
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:13,489
No way!
221
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:16,084
Hey orphans, look who's here!
222
00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,220
Hey kids!
223
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:21,392
Who wants a shot from the merch gun?
224
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,101
- Great. KABOOM!
- A lunchbox!
225
00:13:24,102 --> 00:13:25,877
- KABOOM!
- A sippy cup!
226
00:13:26,102 --> 00:13:27,602
- KABOOM!
- A Batarang!
227
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,335
The rest of you get Bat Bucks!
KABOOM!
228
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:35,507
Remember kids, if you want to be
like Batman, take care of your abs.
229
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:39,048
- Batman out.
- Batman! Batman! Batman!
230
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,321
Thanks Batman, you're my hero.
231
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:09,604
[WAYNE MANOR, WAYNE ISLAND]
232
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,279
- What is the password?
- Iron Man sucks!
233
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:14,548
Thank you.
234
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:18,055
It must be great to be Batman.
235
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:22,049
I can only imagine he's going home
right now, to party the night away
236
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:25,793
surrounded by scores of friends
and lady tennis players.
237
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,733
Hey Computer.
238
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,304
I'm home.
239
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:46,948
Welcome home, Sir.
Initializing Batcave operating system.
240
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,847
Hey 'Puter.
241
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:53,617
What's up, Batman.
242
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:58,094
- Put this bomb in the museum.
- Certainly, Sir.
243
00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:00,324
- Thank you.
- No worries.
244
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:02,457
Anything exciting happen
when I was gone?
245
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:06,032
- You have 4 pieces of mail.
- Great, what'd I get?
246
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:10,798
You have this weeks PennySaver, 2 bills,
and a coupon for Bed Bath and Beyond.
247
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,505
It expires in 2 weeks,
248
00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:16,378
but I've heard that some stores will
honor them past the expiry date.
249
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,475
- Copy that.
- Also, Alfred is on the 17th floor
250
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:23,512
grouting tiles in the 2nd bathroom
of the 5th master bedroom.
251
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,118
Do you want me to tell
Alfred you're home?
252
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:28,422
No that's cool Computer.
Thanks for the update.
253
00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:30,407
I should probably
have some dinner.
254
00:15:30,432 --> 00:15:33,228
Alfred left your lobster
thermidor in the fridge.
255
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:36,834
Oh that's my favorite!
I can't wait.
256
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:08,449
[NO SIGNAL]
[DEVICE NOT DETECTED]
257
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,440
You... complete me.
258
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:29,078
You had me at 'hello'.
259
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,975
Love it.
260
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:11,513
Hey, Mom.
261
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,249
Hey, Dad.
262
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,357
I, uh...
263
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,455
I saved the city again today.
264
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:25,203
I wish you could've seen me.
265
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:28,429
I think you would have been really proud.
266
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,609
There you are.
267
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:37,475
Oh, Alfred, I am so sorry!
I have incredible reflexes.
268
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,998
No it's my fault Sir,
I should have known better
269
00:18:40,023 --> 00:18:42,319
than to sneak up
on you like that.
270
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:46,155
I was lost in thought, and as you know,
when I'm in there I'm in deep.
271
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:49,060
Were you looking at the old
family pictures again?
272
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:53,325
The what? The old family...
Oh yes, I see what you mean.
273
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:56,233
Look at that! The old gang.
274
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:58,860
Yeah. No I wasn't!
275
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:00,329
I see.
276
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:04,306
Sir, if you don't mind my saying,
I'm a little concerned.
277
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:09,343
I've seen you go through similar phases
in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005
278
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:16,400
and 1997, and 1995, and 1992, and 1989,
and that weird one in 1966.
279
00:19:16,891 --> 00:19:19,655
Do you want to talk about
how you're feeling right now?
280
00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:23,255
I don't talk about feelings Alfred,
I don't have any, I've never seen one,
281
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:28,430
I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante
and a heavy metal rapping machine.
282
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:31,459
I don't feel anything emotionally
except rage.
283
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,405
24/7, 365, at a million percent.
284
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:38,399
And if you think that there's something
behind that, then you're crazy.
285
00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:41,277
- Good night, Alfred.
- Sir, it's morning.
286
00:19:41,578 --> 00:19:42,980
Hiss, ahh!
287
00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:47,746
Master Bruce, you live on an island
figuratively and literally.
288
00:19:47,852 --> 00:19:48,883
Yeah, love it.
289
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,741
You can't spend the rest of
your life alone, dressed in black,
290
00:19:51,866 --> 00:19:54,452
listening to angry music
and staying up all night.
291
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:57,360
Yes, I can, because I'm Batman.
292
00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:03,934
But don't you think it's time you
finally faced your greatest fear?
293
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:05,058
- Snakes?
- No.
294
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:05,697
- Clowns?
- No.
295
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:08,271
- Snake-Clowns?
- Bruce, listen.
296
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:12,501
Your greatest fear is...
297
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,944
...being a part of a family again.
298
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,500
No, now it's Snake-Clowns, because
you put that idea in my head.
299
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:30,495
- Sir-
- Time for pushups! 1, 2...
300
00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:33,025
- We're going to 1000.
- I'm afraid that's not possible, Sir.
301
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,124
It is possible. I'm already at 20.
302
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,169
You're scheduled to go to
Jim Gordon's retirement party.
303
00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:42,230
- What? No! I don't wanna do that!
- You're going to have a great time.
304
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:44,367
- No, no, no.
- You might meet some new people.
305
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:47,309
- No, no, no.
- Even make some new friends.
306
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:52,443
No, no, no...
307
00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:53,183
NO!
308
00:20:53,184 --> 00:20:57,119
And before you go, we can
do your favorite thing.
309
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:59,291
Tuxedo dress-up party.
310
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,425
[♪ GIRLS KNOW HOW]
311
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:10,468
- Sir, aren't you forgetting something?
- Nope.
312
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:13,370
- Your cowl.
- My what now?
313
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:16,405
Your armored face disguise.
314
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,011
Fine.
315
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,948
- Happy now?
- Indubitably.
316
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,942
Good. Must be nice to be happy.
317
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:30,253
Tonight on Metropolis In Focus,
we have our favorite star.
318
00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:33,651
- Superman!
- What up, Gotham?
319
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,826
Superman, tell me
how you feel about
320
00:21:36,851 --> 00:21:39,490
your recent banishment of Zod
to the Phantom Zone?
321
00:21:39,498 --> 00:21:43,366
Yeah, look, it's complicated.
322
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:49,273
Zod and I have had some pretty
epic battles, you know, over the years,
323
00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:52,300
I don't believe I would be Superman
without fighting Zod.
324
00:21:52,344 --> 00:21:56,274
See? Superman gets it.
Why can't Batman?
325
00:21:56,481 --> 00:22:01,316
- Check it out guys, I built a CD rack.
- Tada!
326
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:07,286
How am I supposed to get Batman's respect
when I'm working with these human farts?
327
00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:09,494
Boo boo, look at me.
328
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:13,025
You're too good for Batman.
He needs to open his eyes,
329
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,460
and see what it feels like
when you're not around, okay?
330
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:20,495
I couldn't put Zod in a regular
prison, right? He's Zod! Come on!
331
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:26,275
No, he needed to go some place where
he could never harm Metropolis ever again.
332
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,403
The Phantom Zone.
333
00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:30,126
Ah yes, the notorious
space jail that houses
334
00:22:30,151 --> 00:22:32,449
the greatest supervillains
of all time.
335
00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:36,587
- They got the sickest baddies up there! This guy:
- RAAH!
336
00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:38,922
- And her...
- I'll get you, my pretty.
337
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:41,551
- To say nothing about him.
- Wingardium Leviosa!
338
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:43,994
- And these guys!
- EXTERMINATE!
339
00:22:44,019 --> 00:22:46,918
I'm starting to get an
idea, monkey face.
340
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:56,363
Hey folks look alive, here we go,
I'm gonna give you 3 poses, you ready?
341
00:22:56,408 --> 00:22:57,466
Kissy face.
342
00:22:57,476 --> 00:22:59,341
Oops, I did it again.
343
00:22:59,344 --> 00:23:03,337
And the Bad Boy, whatcha gonna do?
I'm outta here.
344
00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:07,886
[COMMISSIONER JIM GORDAN
RETIREMENT WINTER GALA]
345
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:12,280
- ♪ I'm starting with the man in the mirror
- Any advice for the new Commissioner?
346
00:23:12,290 --> 00:23:15,292
As long as he knows how to push the
button on the Bat-Signal, he'll be fine.
347
00:23:15,293 --> 00:23:18,252
- Bruce, I don't know how you did it...
- You can't prove it, you didn't do it.
348
00:23:18,262 --> 00:23:22,962
- Mr Wayne, great to see you, come join us!
- Mr. Prime Minister!
349
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,737
- Woah!
- ♪ Na na naa...
350
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,233
Bruce Wayne!
351
00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:33,100
- He's the greatest orphan of all time!
- ♪ Shamone! Shamone!
352
00:23:34,444 --> 00:23:36,013
- Nice to meet you Mr Ambassador.
- Mr Wayne!
353
00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:38,182
- You want a picture?
- That'd be swell!
354
00:23:38,182 --> 00:23:40,417
Here we go, funny face!
355
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:43,152
- Boom, keep it.
- Woah, thanks Mr Wayne!
356
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:45,483
- Call me Bruce, champ.
- I'm just so jazzed to meet you Sir.
357
00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:48,154
- I'm sorry, did you say 'jazzed'?
- Yeah!
358
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,390
My name's Richard Grayson, but all
the kids at the orphanage call me Dick.
359
00:23:50,495 --> 00:23:53,430
- Well children can be cruel.
- Great to see ya, Bruce!
360
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,400
- Nice to see you Sir.
- I've got a question for you Sir.
361
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:56,562
Okay, hit me with it.
362
00:23:56,587 --> 00:23:58,369
Do you have any advice on
how to get adopted?
363
00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,359
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh you do?
364
00:23:59,404 --> 00:24:01,463
- Mr. Wayne, can I get an autograph?
- Sure.
365
00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:04,408
- For example is teeth whitener a good idea?
- Yes. Here you go, pal.
366
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:05,375
- Thanks.
- Really?
367
00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:07,470
- Oh, yeah.
- Looking good, Bruce.
- Thank you so much.
368
00:24:07,479 --> 00:24:10,414
- What about eyeliner or foreign language?
- Try both.
369
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:14,382
- Look! It's the new Commissioner!
- Where?
370
00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:18,053
- Here she is, everyone.
- Oh my God.
371
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:23,187
[♪ I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT]
372
00:24:23,928 --> 00:24:26,420
Should I get experimental surgery
373
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:29,999
to make my eyes larger
and more vulnerable looking?
374
00:24:30,268 --> 00:24:32,537
Uhh, do that.
375
00:24:39,444 --> 00:24:42,311
Um, Mr. Wayne.
376
00:24:42,347 --> 00:24:45,048
Are you currently in the market
to adopt a child?
377
00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:47,478
- Yeah.
- Really?
- Oh yeah.
378
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:50,044
Well! Are you looking for
more of a base model orphan
379
00:24:50,069 --> 00:24:52,253
or one that has more
upgraded features?
380
00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:55,350
- Cooking, driftwood art, gymnastic abilities?
- Yep. Yep. Yep.
381
00:24:55,393 --> 00:24:58,328
- Closeup street magic ala David Blaine?
- All of it, sounds great.
382
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:02,460
Really? Because all of it sounds like me.
383
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:07,461
Mr. Wayne. Do you think you'd be interested
in adopting me as your future orphan son?
384
00:25:07,472 --> 00:25:10,339
- Definately.
- Oh, this is great!
385
00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:14,472
All I want is to get adopted.
So I can finally stop being...
386
00:25:15,881 --> 00:25:17,708
...alone.
387
00:25:18,450 --> 00:25:22,318
We're gathered here tonight
to mark the retirement of Jim Gordon.
388
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,921
- Goodbye.
- And we wish him well
389
00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:29,187
on his South African jungle safari!
- Thank you.
390
00:25:29,427 --> 00:25:33,420
Now, to introduce you to
his exciting new replacement.
391
00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,524
Everyone meet your new Commissioner.
392
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:38,203
[♪ I AM INVINCIBLE]
393
00:25:38,228 --> 00:25:40,471
She's Barbara Gordon!
394
00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:45,307
- The new Commissioner of Gotham City.
- Wow.
395
00:25:45,310 --> 00:25:48,370
She was top of her class at
Harvard For Police.
396
00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:52,474
She cleaned up the streets of
Gotham's nearby sister city, Bludhaven.
397
00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:57,352
Using statistics!
And compassion!
398
00:25:57,355 --> 00:26:04,227
And now she's bringing her new ideas,
and her gun sharps, to Gotham City.
399
00:26:04,262 --> 00:26:06,526
- Congratulations, darling.
- Thanks, Dad.
400
00:26:06,531 --> 00:26:09,432
- Here she is, everyone.
- Thank you, thanks.
401
00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:13,267
- Hooray.
- Miss, over here.
402
00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:16,465
Wow, thank you, for the
oversized key to Arkham Asylum.
403
00:26:16,474 --> 00:26:22,344
And, what's this? Thank you for
the switch to the Bat-Signal.
404
00:26:22,347 --> 00:26:24,274
Nice.
405
00:26:24,482 --> 00:26:29,916
Dad, you've always done a great job
protecting Gotham City.
406
00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:32,219
- Flip! That's me.
- Thank you.
407
00:26:32,524 --> 00:26:36,426
- Along with Batman, of course.
- Woo! Let's hear it for Batman!
408
00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:39,523
- Who I wish was here right now.
- Oh, I'm sure he's listening.
409
00:26:39,531 --> 00:26:42,027
I'd like to ask all of you
a question.
410
00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:44,228
Are you fed up with crime?
411
00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:46,300
- Uh-huh, tired of it.
- Yes, we're sick of it.
412
00:26:46,304 --> 00:26:51,141
Great. Let's talk real improvements
that will end the cycle of crime.
413
00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:54,439
I've got a 4 point pilot program
that I'd love to share with you.
414
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,380
I want to hear all 4 points.
415
00:26:56,414 --> 00:26:57,438
- It's called...
- I'm ready...
416
00:26:57,482 --> 00:27:00,349
- It takes a village...
- Best opening title ever...
417
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:02,413
Not a Batman.
418
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,020
Waiter. Can I? Thank you.
419
00:27:09,494 --> 00:27:11,394
- WHAT!?
- Look...
420
00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:17,493
Batman been on the job for a very,
very, very, very, very, very, very...
421
00:27:17,502 --> 00:27:20,437
- very long time.
- He has aged phenomenally.
422
00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:24,465
However, despite all the great
work Batman has done for us,
423
00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:29,469
Gotham City is still the most
crime-ridden city in the world.
424
00:27:29,514 --> 00:27:32,845
- She's got a great point.
- Historically speaking, that is accurate.
425
00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:36,151
He hasn't captured Riddler.
He hasn't captured Bane.
426
00:27:36,186 --> 00:27:39,355
Or Catwoman. Or Two-Face.
427
00:27:39,357 --> 00:27:43,384
- Or any of Gotham's other villains!
- He's not good at his job.
428
00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:47,296
- Including the Joker.
- She's making a lot of sense!
429
00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:50,461
Excuse me, I'm so sorry, excuse me.
430
00:27:50,468 --> 00:27:52,436
- Yes.
- Hi, Bruce Wayne.
431
00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:55,270
Billionaire, galavant,
gallivanter, playboy,
432
00:27:55,306 --> 00:27:58,366
Gotham's most eligable bachelor
like 90 years in a row.
433
00:27:58,376 --> 00:28:00,503
- I know who you are, Mr. Wayne.
- You bet you do.
434
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:04,312
Quick question, what is
your problem with Batman?
435
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:08,410
- And also, what the heck, dude?
- I'm glad you asked, Mr. Wayne.
436
00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:13,223
I'm not a Batman hater. But we don't need
an unsupervised adult man
437
00:28:13,224 --> 00:28:16,316
karate chopping poor people
in a Halloween costume.
438
00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:19,228
We need to take what's good about Batman,
439
00:28:19,264 --> 00:28:22,290
and marry it to actual laws.
440
00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:25,326
And proper ethics.
And accountability.
441
00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:26,462
I hate everything you've just said.
442
00:28:26,504 --> 00:28:32,172
Because my dream is for the police force
to team up with Batman.
443
00:28:32,177 --> 00:28:34,507
- Waiter.
- Wouldn't that be better?
444
00:28:34,512 --> 00:28:40,451
And I know that together, the world's
greatest detective, and Gotham's finest,
445
00:28:40,485 --> 00:28:44,121
could clean up these crime-ridden streets.
446
00:28:44,990 --> 00:28:46,082
Forever.
447
00:28:46,424 --> 00:28:48,893
- Everybody get down!
- Everybody get down!
448
00:28:50,294 --> 00:28:52,522
Grand entrance! Pew pew pew!
449
00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:56,332
Everyone, make your way
to the exits immediately!
450
00:28:56,968 --> 00:28:59,136
Team Bane, block the exits!
451
00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:00,363
Going somewhere?
452
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:03,374
Clayface, Freeze, bring me
the new Commissioner Gordon.
453
00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:04,563
- We're on it!
- Cool!
454
00:29:04,575 --> 00:29:08,111
- And Harley. You know what to do.
- I sure do!
455
00:29:08,112 --> 00:29:12,377
It's time for Operation
Take Out The Laundry.
456
00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:16,114
- Alfred 1, this is Bat 1, do you copy?
- Go ahead, Bat 1.
457
00:29:16,154 --> 00:29:19,351
- I need my armored face disguise now!
- Only if you say the magic word.
458
00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:20,456
- Now!
- No...
459
00:29:20,481 --> 00:29:22,358
- You're fired!
- No...
460
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:26,362
Sir, we'll talk about this
back at the Batcave.
461
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:27,956
- Computer.
- Yes.
462
00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:31,496
- Initialize Master Build music.
- Right away.
463
00:29:31,536 --> 00:29:35,404
Collatoral damage assessment
suggests the Scuttler, Sir.
464
00:29:35,406 --> 00:29:36,931
Good plan.
465
00:29:41,479 --> 00:29:44,879
Madam Mayor, stay close to me.
Head for the south exit.
466
00:29:44,883 --> 00:29:46,383
Now, Ma'am!
467
00:29:47,986 --> 00:29:50,416
- Go, go, go!
- Honey, let Batman take care of it.
468
00:29:50,522 --> 00:29:52,387
Dad, I got this.
469
00:29:52,423 --> 00:29:54,482
Here, quick!
470
00:30:04,502 --> 00:30:06,367
Scuttler online.
471
00:30:06,404 --> 00:30:09,931
- Chief O'Hara, we're coming in hot!
- I'm almost there!
472
00:30:10,508 --> 00:30:12,108
Woah!
473
00:30:14,412 --> 00:30:17,247
Chief, get the Mayor to safety!
474
00:30:17,348 --> 00:30:19,441
Computer, I got the Joker in my sights.
475
00:30:19,450 --> 00:30:23,386
Team, I got the Joker in my sights.
476
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:28,326
- Joker!
- Joker!
477
00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:31,395
- Excuse me? I was about to-
- Push the Bat-Signal.
478
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,296
Good call! I like your instincts!
479
00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:37,358
I've got a surprise for you guys,
and it's gonna make you smile.
480
00:30:37,402 --> 00:30:40,462
Uh oh. His smile is our grimace!
Everybody get down!
481
00:30:40,471 --> 00:30:43,372
- I...
- Joker, no!
482
00:30:43,408 --> 00:30:47,010
- Surrender.
- What?
483
00:30:47,312 --> 00:30:52,375
- Uh, what did you just say?
- I said, I surrender.
484
00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:57,344
I'm sorry, my bat ears must be
malfunctioning because it sou-
485
00:30:57,388 --> 00:31:00,155
- I surrender!
- Okay, you know what? Cool it.
486
00:31:00,191 --> 00:31:03,351
- You're a criminal. You run and I-
- Ah, pap-pap-pap.
487
00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:07,094
Not anymore, Batman. You were right.
There is no us.
488
00:31:07,167 --> 00:31:10,614
So there's no point in me
trying to fight you any more.
489
00:31:10,639 --> 00:31:13,939
Therefore I will be surrendering
myself to our strong-willed
490
00:31:13,972 --> 00:31:17,931
and forward-thinking new Commissioner.
Blink, blink, blink. Blinkety-blink.
491
00:31:17,943 --> 00:31:19,505
- That's really suspicious.
- Yeah it is.
492
00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,341
What are you up to, Joker?
493
00:31:21,346 --> 00:31:23,439
I just want to go to Arkham and
pay for all my crimes.
494
00:31:23,481 --> 00:31:25,149
Blink, blink, blink.
495
00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:29,184
- Are you actually saying 'blink'?
- No! Blink blink-
496
00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:32,055
- Joker, that's enough.
- Okay, Babs. I got this.
497
00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:35,320
Not so fast, Batman.
You can't fight me anymore.
498
00:31:35,460 --> 00:31:38,486
- I'm off the market.
- What are you talking about?
499
00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:43,524
I'm off the menu. You won't get to
fight any of this anymore.
500
00:31:43,534 --> 00:31:48,494
Man, am I sorry I asked.
Anyway, have fun in jail...
501
00:31:48,539 --> 00:31:51,508
- Batman, what are you doing?
- Punching Bane.
502
00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:56,343
- That was unnecessary.
- Oh no, you can't fight Bane anymore either.
503
00:31:56,381 --> 00:31:59,350
- Really?
- Yeah. Or Riddler...
504
00:31:59,350 --> 00:32:02,376
- Catwoman. Condiment King.
- Why not?
505
00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:06,323
Because... we're all surrendering.
506
00:32:06,357 --> 00:32:08,325
- Right, guys?
- We are!?
507
00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:09,959
Yes!
508
00:32:16,968 --> 00:32:19,960
Riddle me this...
what just happened?
509
00:32:20,205 --> 00:32:21,465
It's the end of crime!
510
00:32:21,472 --> 00:32:23,440
- Alright!
- Amazing!
511
00:32:23,474 --> 00:32:25,699
- You did it!
- Yeah, of course I did, I'm-
512
00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:29,443
Sorry, not you. We're talking
to Commissioner Gordon.
513
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,305
- Well, it was a team effort...
- I got this, Babs.
514
00:32:31,316 --> 00:32:33,443
- Commissioner, how do you feel?
- Amazing!
515
00:32:33,484 --> 00:32:35,549
- This is a great first day.
- Okay.
516
00:32:35,553 --> 00:32:37,412
- Question for Batman.
- Shoot.
517
00:32:37,455 --> 00:32:39,218
What are you gonna do
with the rest of your life?
518
00:32:39,357 --> 00:32:40,546
What do you mean
'the rest of my life'?
519
00:32:40,558 --> 00:32:43,653
We don't need a vigilante crime fighter
now that there's no more crime.
520
00:32:43,693 --> 00:32:44,991
Uh, yes you do.
521
00:32:44,996 --> 00:32:47,890
You can spend some quality time
with your family.
522
00:32:48,399 --> 00:32:50,699
My...?
523
00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:57,139
Okay, Batman,
we'll take it from here.
524
00:32:57,141 --> 00:33:01,034
All right, listen up. All of you
have the right to remain silent.
525
00:33:01,179 --> 00:33:02,541
- Let's roll out!
- Toodle-oo, Batman!
526
00:33:02,547 --> 00:33:05,448
- Bye, Batman!
- Au revoir, Batman.
527
00:33:05,483 --> 00:33:06,908
Bye, Batman!
528
00:33:07,018 --> 00:33:12,888
♪ [ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER]
529
00:33:13,424 --> 00:33:19,522
Today is a victory for the citizens of Gotham City!
530
00:33:19,530 --> 00:33:22,260
No more crime! No more crime!
531
00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:26,293
- No more crime! No more crime!
- Pew pew pew! Pew pew pew!
532
00:33:26,337 --> 00:33:29,298
No more crime! No more crime!
533
00:33:29,308 --> 00:33:32,209
534
00:33:33,344 --> 00:33:34,470
Is everything okay, Sir?
535
00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:36,412
You barely touched
your lobster thermidor.
536
00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:39,383
I don't have time to eat
lobster thermidor right now.
537
00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:44,643
♪ No is the saddest experience
♪ you'll ever know
538
00:33:44,687 --> 00:33:51,187
♪ Because one is the loneliest
♪ number that you'll ever do
539
00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:56,564
- Hey, Batman.
- BARBARA!
- What are you doing?
540
00:33:56,568 --> 00:34:01,361
- Nothing. I've a very full life.
- No, I mean what are you doing here?
541
00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:06,434
- Surveillance on the Joker.
- Batman, we both know...
542
00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:07,568
the Joker's up to something.
543
00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:11,112
Well then we can't just let him
run around loose. In a prison.
544
00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:14,341
- He's not loose.
- We has to go someplace outside the law!
545
00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:18,345
- Outside the law?
- Yeah! Somewhere like, uh...
546
00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:23,486
Hi there, I'm here from Phantom's Own Laundry.
Here to take that bad stuff off your hands.
547
00:34:23,494 --> 00:34:27,453
- Wait, that's it: The Phantom Zone!
- The Phantom Zone?
548
00:34:27,498 --> 00:34:32,367
No way, that is super illegal,
and way outside our jurisdiction.
549
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:37,240
So, why don't you and I work
together, inside the law,
550
00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:38,399
to figure out what he's up to.
551
00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:41,902
Batman works alone. That's my motto.
Copyright Batman.
552
00:34:42,447 --> 00:34:46,508
Batman, there are no more vigilantes
allowed in Gotham City.
553
00:34:46,517 --> 00:34:50,385
Okay, totally got it.
I have to go into double secret,
554
00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:52,412
super vigilante mode.
555
00:34:52,457 --> 00:34:54,890
You said that out loud.
556
00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:58,119
I know that she said I said that out loud,
but there's no way I did.
557
00:34:58,362 --> 00:35:01,490
She has no idea what's going on
in my super-mind.
558
00:35:01,499 --> 00:35:05,458
- Super-mind?
- Ah, smoke bomb!
559
00:35:09,407 --> 00:35:12,376
Computer, how do I put the Joker
in the Phantom Zone?
560
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,804
Quickest route. No freeways.
561
00:35:17,515 --> 00:35:20,107
'Puter, do you hear me?
562
00:35:21,486 --> 00:35:23,450
Hello, Master Bruce.
563
00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,114
Alfred, there's something wrong with
the Bat-Computer. Watch this.
564
00:35:26,157 --> 00:35:29,385
'Puter? Nothing.
'Puter? You see what I'm saying?
565
00:35:29,527 --> 00:35:34,328
There's nothing wrong with it, Sir. I've just
taken away your computer privileges.
566
00:35:34,332 --> 00:35:36,459
[PARENTAL LOCK]
567
00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:38,435
The parental lock!? You can't do that.
568
00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:43,406
Oh, I can. I've been reading
"Setting Limits For Your
Out Of Control Child".
569
00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:45,967
You know what? Doesn't matter,
because I have the double secret
570
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:48,277
super password that
unlocks the parental lock.
571
00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:53,316
You mean "Alfrid Da Buttler" with two Ts?
572
00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:56,877
- Sir, it's time for you to
stop this unhealthy behavior.
- No, it's not.
573
00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,450
- You need to take responsibility
for your life.
- Not right now, I don't.
574
00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:04,185
And it starts by raising your son.
575
00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:10,490
I'm sorry, I literally have no idea
what you're talking about.
576
00:36:10,501 --> 00:36:15,104
The young orphan you adopted
at the gala. Remember?
577
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:18,768
Wow. Stairs.
578
00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:24,380
- He's been living here for the past week.
- Hello, table!
579
00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:28,318
And I must say, I've grown
rather fond of the young lad.
580
00:36:28,352 --> 00:36:30,377
Hello, secret camera.
581
00:36:30,421 --> 00:36:36,659
You should get to know him.
You and he have a lot in common.
582
00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:43,365
- Hello, family photos.
- He lost his parents at a very young age.
583
00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:47,232
I always wanted one of those.
584
00:36:47,471 --> 00:36:52,431
Doesn't he deserve a chance for someone
to take him under their wing?
585
00:36:52,443 --> 00:36:56,079
As I took you under mine?
586
00:36:58,983 --> 00:37:02,548
Alfred, you've been watching way too many
Lifetime movies, and drinking Chardonnay.
587
00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:04,521
- It's Pinot Grigot, Sir.
- Whatever it is.
588
00:37:04,522 --> 00:37:09,155
Listen, you don't have a family.
You're satisfied serving me.
589
00:37:09,193 --> 00:37:12,062
So what do you know about
having a surrogate son?
590
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,423
Now, I'm gonna go fight crime.
591
00:37:13,464 --> 00:37:16,365
While you put that kid on the
next jet to the Orphanage. Got it?
592
00:37:18,469 --> 00:37:20,270
As you wish, Sir.
593
00:37:21,372 --> 00:37:23,307
Whoops-a-daisy.
594
00:37:24,342 --> 00:37:25,868
- Wait. What are you doing?
- Dusting.
595
00:37:25,876 --> 00:37:27,567
You can't let him into
the Batcave!
596
00:37:27,611 --> 00:37:31,345
I'm not: I'm letting him
into your life.
597
00:37:31,349 --> 00:37:33,418
...via the Batcave.
598
00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:44,256
What?
599
00:37:45,363 --> 00:37:47,696
It's the Batcave!
600
00:37:48,199 --> 00:37:54,229
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
601
00:37:54,372 --> 00:37:57,341
oh my gosh, ooh!
602
00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:01,434
- Batman, woah!
- You're darn right, woah!
603
00:38:01,479 --> 00:38:04,177
Wait, does Batman live
in Bruce Wayne's basement?
604
00:38:04,182 --> 00:38:06,241
No, Bruce Wayne lives in
Batman's attic.
605
00:38:06,384 --> 00:38:08,409
- We can have sleepovers every night!
- No we can't.
606
00:38:08,419 --> 00:38:10,478
- Woah look, it's the Bat-Sub!
- Wait, don't touch that.
607
00:38:10,521 --> 00:38:13,319
- Over there, it's the Bat-Space-Shuttle!
- Please keep your hands off that.
608
00:38:13,324 --> 00:38:15,158
- It's the Bat-Zepplin!
- Don't touch that either!
609
00:38:15,193 --> 00:38:17,252
- The Bat-Train! - No!
- The Bat-Kayak! - No!
610
00:38:17,361 --> 00:38:21,320
- It's the Bat-Dune-Buggy! -No!
- It's the Bat... Shark Repellant?
611
00:38:21,365 --> 00:38:25,358
Uhh, actually you can touch that.
It's completely useless.
612
00:38:25,369 --> 00:38:27,337
Woah, thanks Batman.
613
00:38:27,338 --> 00:38:32,298
Please, stand over there. And
don't touch, look at, or do anything
614
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,244
for the remaining moments
you have in my presence.
615
00:38:34,278 --> 00:38:36,269
- Okay cool.
- Computer!
616
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,306
- Go ahead.
- How do I put the Joker in Phantom Zone?
617
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:43,310
Joker can only be put in the Phantom Zone
using the Phantom Zone Projector.
618
00:38:43,354 --> 00:38:49,222
Current location: Superman's Fortress
of Solitude, inside the atomic cauldron.
619
00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:54,992
However, only a person that isn't
shredded, ripped, or extremely swole,
can enter the cauldron.
620
00:38:55,033 --> 00:38:58,302
- Noo, I'm way too buff!
- You also have beautiful abs, Sir.
621
00:38:58,402 --> 00:39:00,133
That's my cross to bear.
622
00:39:00,271 --> 00:39:05,333
Additionally, once inside the cauldron,
multiple Kryptonian defence systems engage.
623
00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:09,177
Including the acid moat, ring of napalm,
and the jaws of death.
624
00:39:09,313 --> 00:39:13,249
Chance of total mission failure is 110%.
625
00:39:13,250 --> 00:39:15,411
Those are not great odds.
626
00:39:15,453 --> 00:39:17,421
- Wait a minute. Hey, kid!
- Yes, Sir?
627
00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:19,389
- You're super nimble, right?
- I sure am.
628
00:39:19,423 --> 00:39:22,392
- And small. And quiet.
- When I desire to be.
629
00:39:22,426 --> 00:39:26,385
- And 110% expendable.
- I don't know what that means, but okay.
630
00:39:26,430 --> 00:39:31,424
Great, follow me. We are gonna steal the
Phantom Zone Projector from Superman.
631
00:39:31,435 --> 00:39:34,302
- Steal?
- Yeah, we have to right a wrong.
632
00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:37,433
Sometimes in order to right a wrong,
you have to do a wrong-right.
633
00:39:37,441 --> 00:39:39,500
- Gandhi said that.
- Are we sure Gandhi said that?
634
00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:41,340
- I'm paraphrasing.
- Cool!
635
00:39:41,345 --> 00:39:44,212
Preparing Fortress of Solitude
infiltration gear.
636
00:39:44,248 --> 00:39:47,240
Wow, look at all these. Do I get
a costume for the mission, too?
637
00:39:47,284 --> 00:39:51,177
I got a feeling you'll just look like
a kid on Halloween, don't you think?
638
00:39:51,188 --> 00:39:53,115
Don't touch that!
639
00:39:54,091 --> 00:39:56,827
- El Mariachi.
- That one is culturally insensitive.
640
00:39:56,828 --> 00:39:58,317
- Night Terror.
- No way.
641
00:39:58,362 --> 00:39:59,888
- Death Merchant.
- No.
642
00:39:59,897 --> 00:40:01,493
- Firestarter.
- No!
643
00:40:01,532 --> 00:40:03,363
- Clawed Rains.
- No!
644
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,527
- Excali-bat.
- No!
645
00:40:04,535 --> 00:40:06,298
- Silent But Deadly.
- No!
646
00:40:06,337 --> 00:40:08,262
Bat-ryshnikov.
647
00:40:08,272 --> 00:40:11,364
- How'd we feel about this one?
- Dress-up parties are for grown-ups only.
648
00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,140
Wait, what's that one there?
649
00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:17,475
Oh, that was for the 'Jamaica Caper'.
The locals called me Reggae Man.
650
00:40:17,481 --> 00:40:21,315
I love it!
Oh, it's like I was poured into this.
651
00:40:21,352 --> 00:40:24,378
My only trouble is, these pants
are just a little tight.
652
00:40:24,388 --> 00:40:27,448
Don't know if I can throw a kick or
jump in them. I got an idea.
653
00:40:27,491 --> 00:40:31,325
RIP! That's better!
Now I'm free, now I'm movin',
654
00:40:31,362 --> 00:40:33,455
Come on Batman
let's get groovin'!
655
00:40:33,464 --> 00:40:35,329
I can only look you in the eyes right now.
656
00:40:35,366 --> 00:40:38,367
- Uh, Sir. What are you doing?
- What do you mean?
657
00:40:38,402 --> 00:40:40,427
Why is Master Dick dressed like that?
658
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:44,374
How dare you tell me how to
parent my kid I just met?
659
00:40:44,375 --> 00:40:48,243
- To the Batmobile!
- Hot diggity dog!
660
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:54,441
Vehicle rotisserie engaged.
Retrieving the Speedwagon.
661
00:40:55,352 --> 00:40:58,344
Atomic batteries to power.
Turbines to speed.
662
00:40:58,389 --> 00:41:00,357
Hey, kid. Let's go.
663
00:41:00,391 --> 00:41:02,858
- Ah, shoot.
- What?
664
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:09,292
I probably shouldn't leave until I get the
thumbs up from my new old man, Bruce Wayne.
665
00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:13,301
Uh, yeah. Well here's the thing...
666
00:41:14,405 --> 00:41:18,940
Bruno and I decided to share
custody of you.
667
00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:23,001
So I get a say... and you're
mission approved.
668
00:41:23,112 --> 00:41:26,006
No way! Is this really happening?
669
00:41:26,050 --> 00:41:27,141
Yeah!
670
00:41:28,385 --> 00:41:31,853
A month ago I had no dads,
then I had 1 dad, now I have 2 dads,
671
00:41:31,889 --> 00:41:34,014
- and one of them is Batman!
- Yeah!
672
00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:36,486
- It's raining dads!
- So...
673
00:41:36,527 --> 00:41:42,229
Are you ready to follow Batman and maybe
learn a few life lessons along the way?
674
00:41:42,266 --> 00:41:45,529
I sure am Dad 2!
But first, where's the seatbelt?
675
00:41:45,536 --> 00:41:51,372
The first lesson is, life doesn't
give you seatbelts! Let's go!
676
00:41:52,309 --> 00:41:54,368
Woohoo!
677
00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:57,709
Faster, Dad! Faster!
678
00:41:57,749 --> 00:42:00,449
- Woo!
- Yeah!
679
00:42:02,286 --> 00:42:06,518
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!
Back up in that seat, there you go.
680
00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:11,325
As soon as I get back to the Batcave, I'll
make sure Alfred puts seatbelts on there.
681
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:15,264
but for the time being,
I'm just gonna put my arm right here,
682
00:42:15,299 --> 00:42:21,063
And we're just gonna gently ease
out of here. Here we go.
683
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:33,173
[FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE]
684
00:42:33,317 --> 00:42:37,184
Okay, like all super heroes,
Superman has zero friends,
685
00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:40,382
and he spends most of his time
basking in sweet, sweet isolation.
686
00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:43,918
here at his alone palace.
So, I'll keep him busy,
687
00:42:43,961 --> 00:42:46,520
while you sneak into that vent
and get the projector. Got it?
688
00:42:46,530 --> 00:42:50,398
- Copy that. Oh, I could also-
- Woah, don't even finish that thought.
689
00:42:50,434 --> 00:42:53,335
See this counter? These are all
the good ideas Batman has.
690
00:42:53,337 --> 00:42:56,363
And no-one else has even had
any good ideas. So don't even try.
691
00:42:56,407 --> 00:43:00,468
Your superpower is excellent listening
and execution of my ideas.
692
00:43:00,477 --> 00:43:02,502
- Let's try it out.
- Cool!
693
00:43:02,513 --> 00:43:06,347
Drop to the ground. Do a back flip.
Do a front flip. Triple axle.
694
00:43:06,383 --> 00:43:08,510
Plié, Relevé, Jeté.
Pythagorean Theorem.
695
00:43:08,519 --> 00:43:11,352
- A squared + B squared = C squared.
- Physicalize it!
696
00:43:11,388 --> 00:43:16,223
A squared + B squared = C squared!
697
00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:18,524
- How'd I do, Dad?
- Mediocre. And don't call me dad.
698
00:43:18,529 --> 00:43:21,362
- Now, begin mission!
- Yes, Papa.
699
00:43:21,398 --> 00:43:24,526
Papa falls into the Dad category.
700
00:43:35,900 --> 00:43:39,600
[♪ SUPERMAN THEME]
701
00:43:41,352 --> 00:43:45,413
- S'up Supes?
- Huh, wow, it's Batman...
702
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:50,257
...and he's at at my house. Right now.
What are you doing here?
703
00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:52,455
Don't worry about it, dog.
I'm not here to throw down or anything.
704
00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:57,363
- Uh no, I would crush you.
- Okay, sure, sure, sure.
705
00:43:57,432 --> 00:44:01,471
Hey, listen, thank me later,
but I just happened to be in the hood...
706
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:05,008
and I figured that you could
probably use the...
707
00:44:07,111 --> 00:44:09,411
...company.
708
00:44:11,048 --> 00:44:14,473
Wait a minute, are
you having the...
709
00:44:14,498 --> 00:44:18,274
...57th Annual Justice League
Anniversary Party...
710
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:20,514
...without me?
711
00:44:20,524 --> 00:44:22,492
- No!
- No!
712
00:44:22,526 --> 00:44:27,225
No, there must have been some mistake
with the emails. That's crazy man.
713
00:44:27,264 --> 00:44:30,256
Email mistakes happen all the time.
714
00:44:30,267 --> 00:44:34,294
Sometimes I don't get Superman's
emails for... years!
715
00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:37,501
Great point GL, great point. Alright!
Well that clears up everything, right?
716
00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:40,739
Enjoy the party, Bro.
Hit it, DJ Wonder Dog.
717
00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:42,544
[♪ PLANET ROCK]
Woof!
718
00:44:48,318 --> 00:44:51,412
- Hey, Batman, you wanna take a quick pic?
- Sure, where'd you want me?
719
00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:54,424
- Right there, perfect. Here's the camera.
- Oh.
720
00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:56,393
Okay party people, get together.
721
00:44:56,427 --> 00:45:00,261
- Now, everybody say-
- Super Friends!
722
00:45:00,264 --> 00:45:03,461
Let me see. Classic.
We got everyone!
723
00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:05,943
- Yeah... everyone.
- Thanks, Batman!
724
00:45:06,068 --> 00:45:08,667
Yeah, no problem.
I feel I could burst.
725
00:45:08,972 --> 00:45:11,400
This party is the bomb!
726
00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:16,470
Look at me! More like
Martian Dance Hunter, am I right?
727
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,644
- 'Puter, call kid.
- Bat-Dad?
728
00:45:19,649 --> 00:45:23,582
How's it going? Cause everything
is going great down here.
729
00:45:23,621 --> 00:45:27,354
I can see the target. There's some kind of
laser energy thing that I can't get through.
730
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:29,359
Okay, I'll see if I can shut it off.
731
00:45:29,359 --> 00:45:33,853
But I'm gonna have to make up an excuse
to leave this party without anyone noticing.
732
00:45:34,198 --> 00:45:35,531
Bye.
733
00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:38,962
Kid, tell me when it's off, alright?
734
00:45:39,203 --> 00:45:42,001
- Now? Now? Now?
- No. No. No. No.
735
00:45:42,306 --> 00:45:46,165
My son, these irreplaceable crystals
contain all my knowledge,
736
00:45:46,310 --> 00:45:47,438
which I now pass on to-
737
00:45:47,544 --> 00:45:51,075
Darn it, it's gotta be one of these.
Is this the one?
738
00:45:51,181 --> 00:45:54,681
- O-M-Gosh you did it Padre, it's off!
- Okay. Now you gotta make your way
739
00:45:54,851 --> 00:45:58,053
to the atomic cauldron
and get that Phantom Zone Projector.
740
00:45:58,055 --> 00:46:00,050
- Do exactly as I say.
- 10-4.
741
00:46:00,191 --> 00:46:02,258
Okay. Jump!
742
00:46:02,827 --> 00:46:04,761
Do a front flip.
Do a back flip.
743
00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:08,431
Run! Run! Run!
Drop!
744
00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:13,335
That's some excellent listening!
Shimmy. Strafe left. Strafe right.
745
00:46:13,370 --> 00:46:14,428
Avoid!
746
00:46:14,471 --> 00:46:16,530
Hey I was thinking,
if I'm gonna be a super hero
747
00:46:16,540 --> 00:46:21,443
and go on awesome superhero missions
like this one, can we use codenames?
748
00:46:21,478 --> 00:46:24,413
- Mine can be Robin.
- Sorry, say that again?
- Robin!
749
00:46:24,414 --> 00:46:28,475
- As in the small Midwestern frail bird?
- Yeah, and I already have a catchphrase.
750
00:46:28,519 --> 00:46:30,487
- Tweet tweet on the street.
- Hard pass.
751
00:46:30,487 --> 00:46:35,481
- And a song: "Fly Robin Fly..."
- Harder pass. Now slide!
752
00:46:35,526 --> 00:46:39,394
Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you how to
Master Build your way inside that thing.
753
00:46:39,429 --> 00:46:42,588
- Yay!
- Grab those 2x6s. Pull out the axle studs.
754
00:46:42,598 --> 00:46:45,366
Disconnect the 6x10 plates.
- like this?
755
00:46:45,402 --> 00:46:49,270
Woah, unbelievable obeying! Now let's ride.
756
00:46:49,273 --> 00:46:50,365
Toes to the nose.
757
00:46:50,407 --> 00:46:52,375
Now you're gleaming the cube!
758
00:46:52,376 --> 00:46:56,110
Now, get creative. Freestyle a little bit.
That's good, kid!
759
00:46:56,146 --> 00:46:58,205
It's like looking in a Bat-Mirror.
760
00:46:58,215 --> 00:47:00,410
Okay. Leap.
761
00:47:02,953 --> 00:47:04,946
- I got the projector, Dad!
- Booyah!
762
00:47:05,055 --> 00:47:07,881
Now, do everything we just did,
backwards.
763
00:47:08,192 --> 00:47:09,585
Oh.
764
00:47:10,527 --> 00:47:14,361
- Here you go, Dad. We did it!
- Yeah! Mission accomplished.
765
00:47:14,364 --> 00:47:16,364
That was fun!
766
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:21,337
You okay, Batman? You seem
the opposite of stern.
767
00:47:21,438 --> 00:47:26,307
Yeah I'm fine, it's just...
watching you, out there...
768
00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:31,080
It was like the world
wasn't all darkness anymore.
769
00:47:31,348 --> 00:47:36,411
For a brief moment I could've sworn
I... felt something.
770
00:47:36,453 --> 00:47:40,053
That feeling is pride, Sir.
771
00:47:40,157 --> 00:47:44,155
You're right. I am super proud.
772
00:47:44,494 --> 00:47:50,364
...of myself. For being such
a good teacher. Obviously.
773
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,494
- Yeah, you're a great teacher.
- I am?
774
00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:57,337
Yeah! I wanna be just like you
when I grow up, Padre.
775
00:47:57,341 --> 00:47:59,141
Wait, what did you call me?
776
00:47:59,143 --> 00:48:01,336
I, I called you Padre.
777
00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:05,314
It's... Spanish for 'Dad'. Sorry.
778
00:48:05,315 --> 00:48:08,443
Well isn't it also a cool
Spanish way to say 'Buddy'?
779
00:48:08,452 --> 00:48:10,477
Yeah, could've been saying it that way.
780
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,183
Then I'll allow it.
781
00:48:12,289 --> 00:48:15,158
- Oh you're such a great Padre!
- What are you doing?
782
00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:19,192
- Trying to give you a big old hug.
- I thought you were attacking me.
783
00:48:19,429 --> 00:48:23,422
Hey, you up for a top secret
superhero mission to defeat the Joker?
784
00:48:23,433 --> 00:48:26,334
Oh, I'm down to stop that clown.
785
00:48:26,370 --> 00:48:28,529
But I don't wanna make my
other dad Bruce Wayne angry,
786
00:48:28,538 --> 00:48:31,331
- you think we'll be done before my bedtime?
- BEDTIME!?
787
00:48:31,356 --> 00:48:35,272
Batman's life lesson number 2:
Vigilantes don't have bedtimes.
788
00:48:35,279 --> 00:48:39,443
Yes! So what's the vigilante policy
on cookies?
789
00:48:39,449 --> 00:48:41,950
Unlimited.
790
00:48:42,386 --> 00:48:46,345
Alright kid, we need to avoid
Commissioner Gordan.
[ARKHAM ASYLUM]
791
00:48:47,157 --> 00:48:49,250
So, lesson number 3.
792
00:48:49,393 --> 00:48:53,295
When going stealth, you gotta hide
every part of you.
793
00:48:53,330 --> 00:48:55,423
Physically, and emotionally.
794
00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:56,421
- Got it?
- YEAH!
795
00:48:56,466 --> 00:48:58,029
Already failed.
796
00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:02,561
What I need you to do is, use the
naturally dark areas of your costume
797
00:49:02,586 --> 00:49:07,068
and integrate into the dark parts
of this environment.
798
00:49:07,111 --> 00:49:08,069
Okay.
799
00:49:08,378 --> 00:49:10,312
- Can you see me?
- Yes.
800
00:49:10,347 --> 00:49:12,406
- What about now?
- Yes.
801
00:49:12,416 --> 00:49:13,474
- What about now?
- Yes.
802
00:49:13,517 --> 00:49:16,150
- Now?
- Yes. You're a goner, kid.
803
00:49:16,153 --> 00:49:18,453
- Batman!
- BARBARA!
804
00:49:18,477 --> 00:49:20,523
[♪ I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT]
805
00:49:20,524 --> 00:49:24,358
- Batman? Batman?
- Hey there, look at you!
806
00:49:24,394 --> 00:49:26,328
- Who's this?
- Hi, police lady!
807
00:49:26,363 --> 00:49:27,523
- Is that your son?
- Yes, I am!
808
00:49:27,531 --> 00:49:31,364
- No, that's just weird.
- It's weirder if it's not your son.
809
00:49:31,368 --> 00:49:36,271
Right. No, I'm not in a
relationship or anything.
810
00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:40,434
I could have a kid.
I mean, if I met the right lady.
811
00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:44,208
And... she was just standing
right in front of me...
812
00:49:44,247 --> 00:49:47,207
and we looked at each other,
and thought, hey, let's do this.
813
00:49:47,251 --> 00:49:49,085
Let's be together.
814
00:49:49,219 --> 00:49:50,311
- Batman...
- Yes?
815
00:49:50,454 --> 00:49:53,954
I hope you're back because
you decided to work together
816
00:49:53,957 --> 00:49:58,257
- on the Joker case?
- Uhh... Yeah, absolutely!
817
00:49:58,926 --> 00:50:00,126
Great!
818
00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:02,323
Ooh, Arkham Asylum.
819
00:50:02,466 --> 00:50:05,526
So before we question the Joker, I'm gonna
need you to hand over all your weapons.
820
00:50:05,535 --> 00:50:07,298
I mean, I don't know
if I have anything...
821
00:50:08,405 --> 00:50:12,307
- Oh, I just got a couple here.
- Is that it?
822
00:50:12,342 --> 00:50:16,301
- Oh, of course.
- What about the utility belt?
823
00:50:16,813 --> 00:50:18,977
There we go.
824
00:50:18,982 --> 00:50:21,050
Uh, this is really uncomfortable.
825
00:50:21,051 --> 00:50:23,351
Sorry, my shoes are part of my pants.
826
00:50:24,421 --> 00:50:25,081
Oops...
827
00:50:25,106 --> 00:50:26,487
- Batman...
- Yes?
828
00:50:26,523 --> 00:50:31,351
Why is your not son trying to smuggle
the Phantom Zone Projector into Arkham?
829
00:50:31,395 --> 00:50:34,228
What? Hey, kid, what is this?
830
00:50:34,264 --> 00:50:36,459
- Batman, give me the Phantom Zone Projector.
- No.
831
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:38,468
- Batman, give me the-
- No.
832
00:50:38,468 --> 00:50:40,436
No, no, no... whoa, nice.
833
00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:43,305
I studied Brazilian Jujitsu at
Harvard for Police!
834
00:50:43,307 --> 00:50:46,399
Oh yeah, well guess who got
a PhD in smoke bombs?
835
00:50:46,410 --> 00:50:48,401
- Dr. Batman!
- Guards, get them!
836
00:50:48,412 --> 00:50:51,381
- Freeze, Batman!
- Hey, kid, this is a training exercise.
837
00:50:51,415 --> 00:50:52,473
These guys are my bros.
838
00:50:52,516 --> 00:50:55,147
- Go ahead and take a couple of them out.
- Cool!
839
00:50:56,286 --> 00:50:58,481
840
00:50:58,522 --> 00:51:01,491
841
00:51:01,491 --> 00:51:05,658
Code Red. I need total
security lockdown, now!
842
00:51:09,533 --> 00:51:11,398
What's up, Joker?
843
00:51:11,401 --> 00:51:13,426
- Namaste, Batman.
- Namaste.
844
00:51:13,437 --> 00:51:16,235
- Gross.
- Ooh, briefs man. Me too.
845
00:51:16,273 --> 00:51:19,504
- Cut the baloney. Kid, guard the door, will ya!
- On it! Take that!
846
00:51:19,509 --> 00:51:23,343
Looks like you're going to a lot
of trouble for little old me.
847
00:51:23,380 --> 00:51:25,473
I must be your greatest enemy after all.
848
00:51:25,482 --> 00:51:27,382
Right, Batman?
849
00:51:27,417 --> 00:51:29,385
- I see what you're trying to do.
- And what is that?
850
00:51:29,386 --> 00:51:32,412
You're trying to entrap me
into a relationship.
851
00:51:32,456 --> 00:51:34,515
- Really?
- Yeah, and it's not gonna work.
852
00:51:34,524 --> 00:51:39,291
Oh yes it is. Because I'm inside your head.
853
00:51:39,296 --> 00:51:40,388
- No you're not.
- No you're not.
854
00:51:40,430 --> 00:51:41,362
I knew you'd say that.
855
00:51:41,364 --> 00:51:42,422
- No you didn't!
- No you didn't!
856
00:51:42,466 --> 00:51:44,434
And I knew you'd say that!
857
00:51:44,468 --> 00:51:46,932
See? We aren't so different, I and you.
858
00:51:46,970 --> 00:51:48,938
- It's you and I!
- It's you and I!
859
00:51:49,039 --> 00:51:53,239
- Admit it... I'm your greatest enemy.
- You're not my greatest enemy, Joker.
860
00:51:53,243 --> 00:51:56,436
- Okay, then send me to the Phantom Zone.
- Fine, I will.
861
00:51:56,480 --> 00:52:00,048
And prove I'm your
greatest enemy.
862
00:52:00,417 --> 00:52:02,182
Batman, don't do this!
863
00:52:02,185 --> 00:52:06,021
As long as you're in the Phantom Zone,
I'll be saving Gotham City.
864
00:52:06,056 --> 00:52:07,484
And that's all that matters to me.
865
00:52:07,491 --> 00:52:12,485
- Goodbye, Joker.
- Oh Batman, thank you!
866
00:52:13,396 --> 00:52:17,064
Yes! That's what I call
saving the city again!
867
00:52:17,100 --> 00:52:18,834
Batman, what are you doing!?
868
00:52:18,936 --> 00:52:21,163
I'm Batman...ing.
869
00:52:21,404 --> 00:52:23,737
♪ I'm Batman. I'm awesome.
870
00:52:23,741 --> 00:52:26,134
♪ I got a 9 pack]
- Stop it!
871
00:52:26,376 --> 00:52:28,505
- Batman, I can't believe you did this.
- Hi police lady.
872
00:52:28,545 --> 00:52:34,579
And even worse, you've made this kid
into an accessory to your crime. Sorry kid.
873
00:52:34,651 --> 00:52:37,351
That's okay Ma'am, as long as I'm
doing the dime in the big house
874
00:52:37,419 --> 00:52:39,519
with my old man, eveything's
gonna be a-okay.
875
00:52:39,523 --> 00:52:42,458
Officers, take this projector to
the evidence room.
876
00:52:42,459 --> 00:52:44,522
- And get this man some pants!
- I'm good the way I am.
877
00:52:44,528 --> 00:52:48,062
P-Co, why has nobody
fist-bumped me yet?
878
00:52:49,132 --> 00:52:51,066
You know...
879
00:52:51,201 --> 00:52:56,038
When I was a kid, I wanted
to be you, Batman.
880
00:52:56,039 --> 00:53:01,039
I wanted to be as strong
and as fast and as smart as Batman.
881
00:53:01,511 --> 00:53:04,180
But you're not who I thought you were.
882
00:53:04,514 --> 00:53:06,179
Whaddya mean?
883
00:53:06,383 --> 00:53:10,954
You can't be a hero if you
only care about yourself.
884
00:53:10,954 --> 00:53:13,184
Barbara... I...
885
00:53:14,524 --> 00:53:19,359
I think you're underestimating
the importance of the Joker being
in the Phantom Zone.
886
00:53:19,396 --> 00:53:22,930
Really, kind of a stroke of genius...
Hey, where you going?
887
00:53:22,966 --> 00:53:27,694
I just put Joker in the one place
he can't do anyone any harm.
888
00:53:28,105 --> 00:53:29,839
Yeah.
889
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:34,540
But what if you just gave Joker
exactly what he wanted?
890
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,700
[♪ THE PHANTOM ZONE]
891
00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:07,576
Woah! Look at this place!
Am I being too loud?
892
00:54:08,111 --> 00:54:10,170
- HI!
- OH MY GOSH!
893
00:54:10,413 --> 00:54:14,372
- Sorry, I always do that!
- How about a warning next time?
- You're so right and I am so wrong.
894
00:54:14,417 --> 00:54:16,385
Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy!
895
00:54:16,386 --> 00:54:18,320
- Yeah, bad guy.
- My name is Phillis!
896
00:54:18,355 --> 00:54:21,156
- Oh, that was my grandma's name.
- Now hold still...
897
00:54:21,191 --> 00:54:24,183
...while I scan you. Scanning for badness.
898
00:54:24,294 --> 00:54:26,387
Trying to assess whether you are bad.
899
00:54:30,367 --> 00:54:32,494
Uh, your whole thing screams bad guy.
900
00:54:32,502 --> 00:54:35,198
Oh yes... I'm really a bad person.
901
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:37,399
But with vulnerabilities.
902
00:54:37,407 --> 00:54:42,344
Who me? No way... so where do you keep
all the other bad people in this place?
903
00:54:42,379 --> 00:54:46,247
They're standing right behind you.
904
00:54:46,549 --> 00:54:51,282
Hi there guys, lovely to meet you all.
I'm the- oh, fist-bump.
905
00:54:51,321 --> 00:54:53,400
Doesn't matter, I'm the Joker.
906
00:54:53,423 --> 00:54:57,325
- Take a look at the new guy.
- Guess they'll just let anybody in here.
907
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:01,353
Oh, no, no... I'm very bad too,
they just showed a video montage-
908
00:55:01,364 --> 00:55:02,490
- Boring!
- What?
909
00:55:02,532 --> 00:55:04,397
- You're boring.
- He looks delicious!
910
00:55:04,434 --> 00:55:06,368
- Huh?
- Let's eat this guy!
911
00:55:06,403 --> 00:55:09,372
Stop with the violence
for just a second!
912
00:55:09,372 --> 00:55:14,175
What if I told you I could
get you out of here?
913
00:55:14,845 --> 00:55:16,507
- I'm sorry, what'd you just say?
- That's right!
914
00:55:16,546 --> 00:55:20,945
I'm so bad I got myself thrown
into this heck-hole on purpose!
915
00:55:20,951 --> 00:55:24,314
- I'm listening.
- Count me interested!
916
00:55:24,421 --> 00:55:28,414
Look, everyone here knows what it's like
to be hurt by a hero, don't they?
917
00:55:28,458 --> 00:55:32,823
- We've all been taken for granted, right?
- Yeah! - I'm relating!
918
00:55:32,863 --> 00:55:35,922
That's why I came to this space prison.
919
00:55:35,932 --> 00:55:39,496
- To recruit the universe's greatest-
- We'll do it.
920
00:55:39,536 --> 00:55:40,468
I'm sorry?
921
00:55:40,470 --> 00:55:46,409
You were going to say something about
recruiting the universe's greatest villains
to conquer a super hero.
922
00:55:46,443 --> 00:55:48,411
- Am I right?
- Uh, yeah.
923
00:55:48,411 --> 00:55:50,379
- Well we're in.
- Yay!
924
00:55:50,380 --> 00:55:52,245
Really, because I brought a PowerPoint pres-
925
00:55:52,248 --> 00:55:54,409
- Still boring!
- Yeah, just get on with it!
926
00:55:54,451 --> 00:55:57,420
- Do you want us to humiliate him?
- I certainly do, yes!
927
00:55:57,420 --> 00:56:00,087
You want us to make him
grovel at your feet?
928
00:56:00,123 --> 00:56:01,749
I would like to see that
very much!
929
00:56:01,791 --> 00:56:05,858
- You want us to smite him?
- Yeah!
930
00:56:05,862 --> 00:56:09,322
Do you want us to make the rivers of
Gotham City run red with his blood?
931
00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:13,359
- Oh, that's-
- Oh, no blood... how do you feel about lava?
932
00:56:13,403 --> 00:56:15,462
- Yes, lava.
- Done.
- Yay!
933
00:56:15,472 --> 00:56:18,498
- I can't wait to crush buildings
- Excuse me, hello... over here.
934
00:56:18,508 --> 00:56:22,274
I don't wanna be a downer, but how exactly
are we gonna get out of this place?
935
00:56:22,312 --> 00:56:25,309
Oh, leave that to me.
936
00:56:25,515 --> 00:56:28,500
I don't wanna jinx us,
but I'll be a lot happier
937
00:56:28,525 --> 00:56:32,377
when this Phantom Zone Projector
is locked up tight.
938
00:56:32,489 --> 00:56:35,390
- Going up, Ma'am?
- No...
939
00:56:35,392 --> 00:56:37,392
...you're going down.
940
00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:43,392
I guess you're right,
I am going up. Ding!
941
00:56:45,368 --> 00:56:51,132
Here comes the...
PHANTOM ZONE!
942
00:56:55,979 --> 00:57:00,177
- I'm gonna go start looting.
- Hello Gotham City!
943
00:57:00,483 --> 00:57:05,317
The clown prince of crime is back.
944
00:57:05,355 --> 00:57:07,516
Commissioner Gordon, you've got
to take a look at this!
945
00:57:07,524 --> 00:57:10,459
- What's that?
- A monkey and dog are friends!
946
00:57:10,493 --> 00:57:16,227
- Not that. That.
- The time has come to finally take over the city.
947
00:57:16,266 --> 00:57:21,499
But in order to do that, I need to break
my friends out of a giant, scary prison.
948
00:57:21,504 --> 00:57:24,371
- Hey guys, he means us!
- Yay!
949
00:57:24,407 --> 00:57:28,434
And I ain't talking about those
rogue losers dressed in cosplay!
950
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,645
- Aww!
- Me-ouch!
951
00:57:30,679 --> 00:57:34,509
I'm talking about my new peeps!
They're just like me.
952
00:57:34,551 --> 00:57:38,385
The greatest villains you'll ever see.
953
00:57:38,388 --> 00:57:40,153
- You wanna meet 'em?
- No.
954
00:57:40,190 --> 00:57:41,583
Too bad.
955
00:57:42,392 --> 00:57:46,524
He's evil, he's magic,
and it's about to get tragic.
956
00:57:46,531 --> 00:57:49,698
- It's Voldemort!
- Magic!
957
00:57:51,434 --> 00:57:55,393
You are a fish! You are a frog!
You are a fish-frog!
958
00:57:55,438 --> 00:57:59,838
He's a 9000 year old incarnation
of evil with an eye for jewellery.
959
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:03,573
- Give it up for Sauron!
- Good afternoon, Gotham City.
960
00:58:08,151 --> 00:58:12,481
He likes long, violent walks on
historic buildings, it's King Kong!
961
00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:14,691
Come at me, Gotham!
962
00:58:16,026 --> 00:58:19,428
Commissioner Gordon, these monsters,
they're too powerful!
963
00:58:19,863 --> 00:58:21,854
Can you contain them to Downtown?
964
00:58:22,098 --> 00:58:25,292
That's gonna be impossible!
Half the police force are fish!
965
00:58:25,301 --> 00:58:28,034
Sergeant Jackson,
stop flopping around!
966
00:58:28,071 --> 00:58:32,434
And rounding out the Evil All-Stars,
Wicked Witch, Medusa,
967
00:58:32,441 --> 00:58:35,400
- And British robots.
- EXTERMINATE!
968
00:58:35,445 --> 00:58:37,413
Ask your nerd friends.
969
00:58:37,413 --> 00:58:40,574
Hello? Bad guys...
970
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:44,852
Ha haa... what a crew, huh?
971
00:58:44,887 --> 00:58:51,155
And they all work for me! Who's the
greatest villain of them all now, Batman?
972
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:52,286
Still not you.
973
00:58:52,395 --> 00:58:55,221
Actually this does look
pretty terrifying, Bat-Dad.
974
00:58:55,966 --> 00:59:00,435
Nice destruction all around.
Watch your step. Good work guys!
975
00:59:00,436 --> 00:59:05,373
Now all that's left for me is to
rub it in Batman's Bat-Face.
976
00:59:05,408 --> 00:59:10,910
Hey Sauron! Doesn't your flaming eye have a
unique ability to peer through time and space?
977
00:59:10,947 --> 00:59:12,006
Uh-huh.
978
00:59:12,049 --> 00:59:15,176
Well, I need to find Batman,
where's home boy's man cave?
979
00:59:15,485 --> 00:59:20,222
Gimme a second. Scanning...
It's beneath Wayne Manor.
980
00:59:20,256 --> 00:59:22,315
Whoa, hold on a sec.
981
00:59:22,325 --> 00:59:27,456
Are you trying to tell me that
Bruce Wayne is Batman...
982
00:59:27,497 --> 00:59:29,262
...'s roommate?
983
00:59:29,365 --> 00:59:31,866
Uh... yeah.
984
00:59:32,102 --> 00:59:36,300
Evil Army, this way to the Batcave!
985
00:59:39,209 --> 00:59:40,609
Good grief!
986
00:59:53,023 --> 00:59:57,153
Hey, Batman. Joker's home!
987
00:59:58,394 --> 01:00:00,453
I'm rubbing my butt
all over your stuff.
988
01:00:00,496 --> 01:00:04,523
Gonna have to rename this
the Butt-Mobile.
989
01:00:05,101 --> 01:00:07,531
Hey Evil Army, I need Batman
brought here.
990
01:00:07,537 --> 01:00:11,270
Now GO GET HIM!
Joker out!
991
01:00:13,509 --> 01:00:17,411
- Uh... Padre?
- Yeah?
992
01:00:17,413 --> 01:00:19,304
Do you ever get scared?
993
01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,340
No!
994
01:00:21,484 --> 01:00:25,512
Yeah, that's what I figured.
Because you're Batman.
995
01:00:31,127 --> 01:00:32,287
Hey, kid...
996
01:00:32,495 --> 01:00:35,931
- you know who does get scared?
- Who?
997
01:00:35,965 --> 01:00:37,257
Bruce Wayne.
998
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,368
- Really?
- Yeah.
999
01:00:39,369 --> 01:00:44,398
Bruno told me once, that sometimes the
only way to get out of a down moment
1000
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:46,408
is to start boxing.
1001
01:00:46,442 --> 01:00:51,111
And by boxing, he meant beat-boxing.
1002
01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:55,315
Na na na na na na na na...
1003
01:00:56,085 --> 01:00:57,279
Feel it, uh-huh.
1004
01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,512
Dick Grayson on the mic, go!
1005
01:01:06,529 --> 01:01:10,260
- Oh my gosh, this does make me feel better.
- Okay, Batman solo.
1006
01:01:10,299 --> 01:01:14,326
Bat, Bat, can I get a
Bat, Bat, can I get a
1007
01:01:14,370 --> 01:01:16,197
The Bat-Fax!
1008
01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:19,231
The city needs me!
Bang bang bang!
1009
01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:23,078
Excuse me! Can you get the
Commissioner and show her this!
1010
01:01:23,079 --> 01:01:25,406
- Batman.
- Would you stop doing that!?
1011
01:01:25,448 --> 01:01:27,439
I sent the Bat-Fax.
1012
01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:31,387
I hate to say this, but...
you're right. The city needs you.
1013
01:01:31,421 --> 01:01:32,445
Yes! Let me out.
1014
01:01:32,455 --> 01:01:35,515
I'm only gonna let you out
on one condition.
1015
01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:39,193
- Name it.
- You can't do it by yourself.
1016
01:01:41,397 --> 01:01:45,390
Fine. Who am I working with?
Seal Team 6? Fox Force 5? Suicide Squad?
1017
01:01:45,401 --> 01:01:47,232
No. Me.
1018
01:01:47,270 --> 01:01:48,498
Oh I wanna help too.
1019
01:01:48,538 --> 01:01:50,267
And I shall join as well.
1020
01:01:50,273 --> 01:01:54,232
- Alfred Pennyworth at your service.
- Alfred, you gotta let me outta here.
1021
01:01:54,277 --> 01:01:57,371
Sir, those creatures out there are
unlike anything we've ever seen.
1022
01:01:57,413 --> 01:02:00,405
Speak for yourself. You don't know everything
I've seen, I haven't told you everything.
1023
01:02:00,450 --> 01:02:03,385
And you'll never be able
to defeat them alone.
1024
01:02:03,386 --> 01:02:05,479
And it'll be more fun if
we all do it together.
1025
01:02:05,488 --> 01:02:09,424
What's the worst thing that could
happen? What are you so afraid of?
1026
01:02:09,425 --> 01:02:12,217
The thing I'm most afraid of?
1027
01:02:16,466 --> 01:02:19,164
I've gotta be honest with you,
it's Snake-Clowns.
1028
01:02:19,202 --> 01:02:20,260
Yeah, that's not a thing.
1029
01:02:20,269 --> 01:02:23,295
Well then, nothing.
I'm not afraid of anything!
1030
01:02:23,406 --> 01:02:25,797
Okay. Prove it.
1031
01:02:25,841 --> 01:02:27,341
- Oh I will.
-Good.
1032
01:02:27,343 --> 01:02:30,403
You know what the B-A-T
in Batman stands for?
1033
01:02:30,413 --> 01:02:32,438
- Not really.
- Best At Teamwork.
1034
01:02:32,482 --> 01:02:35,349
Best At Teamwork Man is my full name.
1035
01:02:35,351 --> 01:02:38,519
- Yay, we're going on a family trip!
- This is not a family trip.
1036
01:02:38,553 --> 01:02:40,345
I can wear my costume too!
1037
01:02:40,389 --> 01:02:42,658
Well luckily for us, you left
your costume back at the-
1038
01:02:42,659 --> 01:02:46,518
- RIP!
- Nope, under your clothes. That's perfect.
1039
01:02:46,563 --> 01:02:48,628
- RIP!
- Alfred, what are you doing?
1040
01:02:48,665 --> 01:02:49,965
- I miss the 60s.
1041
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:55,192
Hey, can Scarecrow help?
Permit us to lend you assistance!
1042
01:02:55,371 --> 01:02:57,271
Why don't we use these guys?
1043
01:02:57,306 --> 01:03:02,171
What am I gonna do, get a bunch of criminals
together to fight the criminals? That's a stupid idea.
1044
01:03:05,414 --> 01:03:07,439
Okay guys, game plan.
1045
01:03:07,450 --> 01:03:09,475
- Joker's taken the projector to-
- Wayne Manor.
1046
01:03:09,519 --> 01:03:11,384
Right. Thanks, Batman.
1047
01:03:11,387 --> 01:03:12,445
- We need that-
- Projector.
1048
01:03:12,455 --> 01:03:14,320
- Or there's no way to blast these-
- Monsters-
1049
01:03:14,357 --> 01:03:16,257
- Back to the-
- Phantom Zone. Yep.
1050
01:03:16,292 --> 01:03:18,453
- Batman, I really don't need you to finish my-
- Sandcastles.
1051
01:03:18,494 --> 01:03:20,257
- Sister's homework?
- No.
1052
01:03:20,263 --> 01:03:22,254
- Succulent... something.
- No.
1053
01:03:22,298 --> 01:03:28,328
- Um, everybody?
- Batman is in Arkham Asylum.
1054
01:03:28,337 --> 01:03:31,363
Hey, everybody grab on to me!
1055
01:03:36,179 --> 01:03:38,548
We've gotta take cover!
1056
01:03:39,348 --> 01:03:41,407
- Joker has eyes on us.
- Where?
1057
01:03:41,450 --> 01:03:45,352
No, I mean he literally has
a giant eye on us.
1058
01:03:45,354 --> 01:03:48,414
I think that thing can
see our every move.
1059
01:03:48,457 --> 01:03:52,393
We've got to destroy it, or we'll
never make it to Wayne Manor.
1060
01:03:52,395 --> 01:03:54,997
Uh, Batman, I really think
you should see this.
1061
01:03:55,021 --> 01:03:56,032
Building survey!
1062
01:03:56,733 --> 01:03:59,033
This building's not up to code!
1063
01:04:06,209 --> 01:04:07,109
Gotcha.
1064
01:04:10,479 --> 01:04:13,071
Is that real lava?
1065
01:04:13,695 --> 01:04:14,695
I'm okay!
1066
01:04:16,385 --> 01:04:18,886
Oh yeah, 100% lava.
1067
01:04:20,123 --> 01:04:23,217
- Everyone start throwing me bricks!
- Right away, Sir.
1068
01:04:39,342 --> 01:04:41,435
Yes. We did it.
Pretty cool, huh?
1069
01:04:41,477 --> 01:04:43,377
- Batman?
- Yeah?
1070
01:04:43,412 --> 01:04:46,313
Why'd you build this thing
with only one seat?
1071
01:04:46,315 --> 01:04:48,408
Because last I checked
I only had one butt.
1072
01:04:48,417 --> 01:04:49,475
What the-
1073
01:04:49,518 --> 01:04:52,385
[WAYNE MANOR, WAYNE ISLAND]
What have you done to Wayne Manor?
1074
01:04:52,388 --> 01:04:54,379
[JOKER MANOR, JOKER ISLAND]
Hey, Batman... Guess what?
1075
01:04:54,390 --> 01:04:56,390
- I found out one of your secrets.
- Uh-Oh.
1076
01:04:56,425 --> 01:04:58,418
What do we have here, Batman?
1077
01:04:58,461 --> 01:05:00,558
Looks like a bunch of
relationship comedies.
1078
01:05:00,596 --> 01:05:03,064
- What's that?
- Must Love Dogs.
1079
01:05:03,088 --> 01:05:04,366
Must love crying!
1080
01:05:04,367 --> 01:05:06,301
- Marley and Me.
- I love the ending.
1081
01:05:06,335 --> 01:05:09,327
Oh! Serendipity!
1082
01:05:09,338 --> 01:05:11,306
We have Serendipity?
I love that movie.
1083
01:05:11,307 --> 01:05:16,370
For a loner Batman, you sure like
movies about relationships...
1084
01:05:16,412 --> 01:05:18,380
Oh, and look what else I found.
1085
01:05:18,381 --> 01:05:21,007
All your wonderful toys!
1086
01:05:22,451 --> 01:05:27,120
Accio lightning storm!
1087
01:05:27,791 --> 01:05:30,260
Everyone hold on!
1088
01:05:35,431 --> 01:05:39,091
Gremlins, dismantle that plane. Now.
1089
01:05:39,402 --> 01:05:41,461
Ugly monsters on our 3.
1090
01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:44,833
- Uh, Padre?
- Not now, kid.
1091
01:05:46,375 --> 01:05:49,067
Kinda got my hands full.
1092
01:05:49,378 --> 01:05:52,304
I've got good tone. Firing!
1093
01:05:55,484 --> 01:05:57,475
- Uh, Batman?
- What's up, buddy?
1094
01:05:57,520 --> 01:06:00,387
- Are we nearly at Wayne Manor?
- Why?
1095
01:06:00,389 --> 01:06:02,482
Your number 2 needs to go
number 1.
1096
01:06:02,525 --> 01:06:05,289
I thought I told you to go
back in the prison.
1097
01:06:05,328 --> 01:06:07,296
- I tried but Bane was in there.
- So?
1098
01:06:07,330 --> 01:06:09,457
He had this sort of 'get out
of this bathroom now' vibe.
1099
01:06:09,465 --> 01:06:13,133
I knew I shouldn't have
given you that water.
1100
01:06:14,070 --> 01:06:16,129
Can you hold it in
like a big boy?
1101
01:06:16,339 --> 01:06:19,338
- Engine 1's out.
- Not a big deal, it's fine.
1102
01:06:19,375 --> 01:06:21,468
- Engine 2 down.
- It does that sometimes.
1103
01:06:21,477 --> 01:06:24,703
- We've lost engine 3.
- Could live without it.
1104
01:06:26,082 --> 01:06:29,142
Engine 4...
1105
01:06:29,352 --> 01:06:30,376
That I do need to fix.
1106
01:06:30,419 --> 01:06:33,388
Good news, our bathroom problem is solved.
1107
01:06:35,358 --> 01:06:37,258
You 3 wait here while I go fix the engine.
1108
01:06:37,293 --> 01:06:39,523
Don't worry Batman:
You fix the Batwing, I'll fly.
1109
01:06:39,528 --> 01:06:43,025
All good, Babs,
I got my auto-pilot. Done.
1110
01:06:43,065 --> 01:06:46,325
Auto-pilot? That's a rope!
- Exactly. Alright guys,
1111
01:06:46,335 --> 01:06:48,394
until I get back, rope's in charge.
1112
01:06:48,404 --> 01:06:50,905
Thanks, rope.
1113
01:07:00,449 --> 01:07:03,082
Come on Master Dick,
we need to help him.
1114
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:07,249
- I'm with you Grandpa! Get off my Padre!
- Unhand him you animatronic fiends!
1115
01:07:07,456 --> 01:07:11,449
What are you 2 doing here?
I told you to stay in the cockpit!
1116
01:07:11,494 --> 01:07:13,562
You disobeyed me. You're on a time-out.
1117
01:07:13,562 --> 01:07:16,260
- Batman, you're on a time-out!
- What!?
1118
01:07:16,265 --> 01:07:17,593
Alfred, you'd better un-time-out
me right now.
1119
01:07:17,633 --> 01:07:21,201
No! Not until you un-time-out
Master Dick!
1120
01:07:21,470 --> 01:07:23,438
Guys! You're all un-time-outed!
1121
01:07:23,439 --> 01:07:26,299
- We have incoming!
- Sir, watch out for those-
1122
01:07:32,481 --> 01:07:34,414
Okay, everybody time-out off.
1123
01:07:34,417 --> 01:07:37,051
- Woohoo! I've been parented!
- Batman, I can help you!
1124
01:07:37,086 --> 01:07:39,544
- No, protect the rope!
- The rope is fine.
1125
01:07:39,754 --> 01:07:41,323
Save Master Dick!
1126
01:07:41,357 --> 01:07:44,451
I'm fine, I'll just do one of
my gymnastic moves-
1127
01:07:45,461 --> 01:07:47,962
No!
1128
01:07:57,039 --> 01:07:58,139
Gotcha!
1129
01:08:01,844 --> 01:08:04,372
Hold on, Alfred. I'm almost there.
1130
01:08:05,414 --> 01:08:06,614
No!
1131
01:08:09,218 --> 01:08:12,718
Alfred!
1132
01:08:20,129 --> 01:08:22,129
No.
1133
01:08:25,501 --> 01:08:27,936
No!
1134
01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:30,937
Move over, rope!
1135
01:08:31,540 --> 01:08:33,640
Hold on!
1136
01:08:46,889 --> 01:08:48,157
Gotcha!
1137
01:08:48,891 --> 01:08:52,317
Barbara, you see that?
Bat-Rope saved Alfred!
1138
01:08:52,328 --> 01:08:54,489
Sick moves, bro.
I never doubted you, bro.
1139
01:08:54,497 --> 01:08:59,224
- Actually Sir, Miss Gordon saved him.
- Rope, you lied to me!
1140
01:08:59,235 --> 01:09:04,163
Wait a minute, you mean,
without you, Alfred would have been...
1141
01:09:04,173 --> 01:09:05,465
...street meat?
1142
01:09:05,474 --> 01:09:10,310
Batman... trust us.
We can do this.
1143
01:09:10,312 --> 01:09:12,371
Yeah. I know gymkata!
1144
01:09:12,381 --> 01:09:13,348
Sorry, what's that?
1145
01:09:13,382 --> 01:09:15,247
It's a gymnastics-based martial art.
1146
01:09:15,251 --> 01:09:17,412
I could punch those 80s monsters
off the plane.
1147
01:09:17,453 --> 01:09:19,353
Uh, okay.
1148
01:09:19,388 --> 01:09:21,379
Multiple bogies on our 6.
1149
01:09:21,390 --> 01:09:24,382
Sir, I'll get them off our back: I was a
tail gunner for the Royal Air Force.
1150
01:09:24,426 --> 01:09:26,326
Locked and loaded, Sir.
1151
01:09:26,328 --> 01:09:28,319
Good, love that.
I got an idea.
1152
01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:31,458
Prepare to change course. I want you
to fly straight into that flaming eyeball.
1153
01:09:31,467 --> 01:09:34,967
- What?
- Barbara... trust me.
1154
01:09:35,204 --> 01:09:37,801
Alright. Let's do this.
1155
01:09:44,446 --> 01:09:48,209
- Giant sea monster at 12 o'clock.
- Got it.
1156
01:09:48,517 --> 01:09:52,017
- We've got his attention!
- He's tracking us.
1157
01:09:55,158 --> 01:09:57,485
Ha ha ha! Got you now!
1158
01:10:02,031 --> 01:10:03,225
Eat dirt!
1159
01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:06,532
Bomb zero bogies,
ruddy duck cobblers!
1160
01:10:12,174 --> 01:10:15,933
Okay babs, this is it, fly straight into
that eye and wait for my signal.
1161
01:10:16,345 --> 01:10:17,403
Can it come now?
1162
01:10:17,446 --> 01:10:20,438
- Can we make the signal thing happen?
- Almost there!
1163
01:10:20,449 --> 01:10:22,417
Almost there!
1164
01:10:22,451 --> 01:10:24,476
- Fire!
- Almost there!
1165
01:10:24,486 --> 01:10:28,252
That fire's coming in hot...
hot hot hot...
1166
01:10:28,257 --> 01:10:30,926
DIVE BOMB!
1167
01:10:32,061 --> 01:10:34,924
My eye!
1168
01:10:35,898 --> 01:10:38,526
[NO SIGNAL]
SAURON!
1169
01:10:43,505 --> 01:10:46,571
Nothing to see...
1170
01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:56,207
- Whoo, we did it!
- That was so rad!
1171
01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:59,312
Come on, let's hear it for us.
That was incredible!
1172
01:10:59,321 --> 01:11:01,414
- I felt so jazzed!
- I say jazzed!
1173
01:11:01,423 --> 01:11:03,414
I've gotta give it to you, Batman.
That was awesome.
1174
01:11:03,459 --> 01:11:06,485
- And you were awesome, you were awesome,
- Thanks. - I love compliments.
1175
01:11:06,495 --> 01:11:10,431
And I was amazing, but I'm not trying
to make it about myself, obviously,
1176
01:11:10,432 --> 01:11:13,299
I just want to make sure that
everyone gets a pat on the back.
1177
01:11:13,302 --> 01:11:14,462
- It feels good.
- It does feel good!
1178
01:11:14,503 --> 01:11:18,371
You had a good idea, and you had
a good idea, and you had a good idea,
1179
01:11:18,372 --> 01:11:18,373
and I had a great idea and I just,
1180
01:11:18,374 --> 01:11:22,504
I think that collectively,
I'm gonna add... 1.
1181
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,372
No way!
1182
01:11:25,381 --> 01:11:28,350
- Man, that feels good!
- Best team ever!
1183
01:11:28,350 --> 01:11:30,409
Let's take a photo! Alright,
everyone squeeze together...
1184
01:11:30,452 --> 01:11:33,319
Hang on a second. Gettin' my pump on.
1185
01:11:33,355 --> 01:11:34,515
- It's worth it!
- Okay, everybody in?
1186
01:11:34,757 --> 01:11:38,183
- These abs are no fluke.
- Everyone say 'Bat Family'!
1187
01:11:38,194 --> 01:11:42,290
- Bat Family!
- Bat Familyyyyy....
1188
01:11:42,431 --> 01:11:44,365
- Look at that.
- Splendid.
1189
01:11:44,366 --> 01:11:47,329
Wow. Didn't it turn out great?
1190
01:11:48,370 --> 01:11:52,297
Hey guys, it's my first family photo!
1191
01:12:20,436 --> 01:12:23,003
Hey, Bat Dad.
1192
01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:26,399
- What are you doing?
- I'm tryna give you a big old H-U-G.
1193
01:12:26,408 --> 01:12:28,209
Okay, just...
1194
01:12:29,378 --> 01:12:31,437
Batman, are you okay?
1195
01:12:31,447 --> 01:12:34,011
No, yeah, I'm fine.
1196
01:12:34,049 --> 01:12:40,546
We are just one big happy... fraternity of
people, who did an awesome job together.
1197
01:12:41,156 --> 01:12:43,524
- I can't think of any other way to put that.
- Cool.
1198
01:12:43,558 --> 01:12:45,251
So, guys, listen up...
1199
01:12:45,394 --> 01:12:49,387
Taking the projector from the Joker is
gonna be our most dangerous mission yet.
1200
01:12:49,398 --> 01:12:51,398
- A family battle mission!
- Right.
1201
01:12:51,401 --> 01:12:53,211
Salvage what you can
out of the Scuttler,
1202
01:12:53,236 --> 01:12:56,236
maybe root around, see if you can
find a few vitamin waters or something,
1203
01:12:56,270 --> 01:12:57,670
- then we'll head out.
- Okay.
1204
01:12:57,705 --> 01:12:59,205
- Anything for you, Padre.
1205
01:13:03,445 --> 01:13:09,406
- We'll need snow shoes...
- I don't think so, but could you grab that-
1206
01:13:09,451 --> 01:13:10,440
- Padre?
- Batman?
1207
01:13:10,452 --> 01:13:13,287
- Sir?
- What are you doing?
1208
01:13:13,322 --> 01:13:16,155
Batman, please, wait!
1209
01:13:16,158 --> 01:13:18,088
'Puter.
1210
01:13:18,494 --> 01:13:23,329
- Yes Sir.
- I'm locking in some coordinates now.
1211
01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:27,358
Take the Scuttler to the taco stand on
the border of Gotham City and Bludhaven.
1212
01:13:27,359 --> 01:13:27,844
No!
1213
01:13:27,869 --> 01:13:32,297
I want you to get these guys a couple of
Chimichangas and 3 Jarritos.
1214
01:13:32,298 --> 01:13:32,683
Sir!
1215
01:13:32,708 --> 01:13:36,301
And then keep them there until this
whole attack on Gotham City blows over.
1216
01:13:36,445 --> 01:13:41,473
- Padre, please! Don't do this.
- Batman, you need us!
1217
01:13:41,483 --> 01:13:44,250
How many times I gotta tell you?
1218
01:13:44,353 --> 01:13:47,054
Batman works alone.
1219
01:13:47,189 --> 01:13:50,081
No, we have to stick together.
1220
01:13:50,325 --> 01:13:51,383
Please.
1221
01:13:51,427 --> 01:13:54,025
Go on, Scuttler, go!
1222
01:13:54,263 --> 01:13:56,254
- Go! Just get out of here!
- Batman!
1223
01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:58,460
- Get moving!
- Please!
1224
01:13:58,500 --> 01:14:01,298
- Just go.
- Batman!
1225
01:14:01,336 --> 01:14:04,305
- Scuttler, move out!
- You're doing the wrong thing!
1226
01:14:04,306 --> 01:14:06,144
Listen to me, don't do this!
1227
01:14:06,169 --> 01:14:08,289
Nooo!
1228
01:14:29,531 --> 01:14:34,101
- Scanning for intruders...
- Scanning for intruders...
1229
01:14:37,140 --> 01:14:38,340
Hi Bats.
1230
01:14:38,390 --> 01:14:41,551
What have you done to my...
to Bruce Wayne's house?
1231
01:14:41,610 --> 01:14:44,479
You'd better hope he's a cool guy
and doesn't go crazy.
1232
01:14:44,513 --> 01:14:48,279
- What happened to all your friends?
- I don't need friends.
1233
01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:51,111
I don't need anyone to stop you.
1234
01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:56,114
Are you sure about that?
Look in the mirror Batman.
1235
01:14:56,525 --> 01:15:00,393
When I saw you working
with your friend family,
1236
01:15:00,395 --> 01:15:03,489
I actually thought you'd changed.
But no.
1237
01:15:03,532 --> 01:15:06,232
You pushed them away.
1238
01:15:09,304 --> 01:15:11,805
You've run away from every
other person in your life,
1239
01:15:11,830 --> 01:15:14,435
but I'm the one you're always chasing.
1240
01:15:14,476 --> 01:15:19,504
- Is this about that stupid 'greatest enemy' thing?
- No, it's not.
1241
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:22,313
- Not anymore.
- You tell him, Joker.
1242
01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:25,320
- Time for a fresh start.
- HE'S NOT WORTH IT.
1243
01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:31,055
- I think after 78 years, I deserve respect.
- That is right, respect!
1244
01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:35,658
Do you realize that you have
never once said the words,
1245
01:15:36,283 --> 01:15:40,292
- 'I hate you Joker'?
- Not once.
1246
01:15:40,335 --> 01:15:44,431
Well I am starting to feel pretty
annoyed with you right now.
That's for darn sure.
1247
01:15:44,439 --> 01:15:47,408
I know it, we said the same thing!
1248
01:15:47,442 --> 01:15:53,506
Listen, Batman.
I... hate you.
1249
01:15:53,515 --> 01:15:55,945
- Aww!
- That's nice!
1250
01:15:56,085 --> 01:15:57,678
Now you say it.
1251
01:15:59,221 --> 01:16:00,321
Me too.
1252
01:16:04,059 --> 01:16:06,220
You won't. You won't change.
1253
01:16:06,461 --> 01:16:09,328
Cause you can't. You won't, and you can't.
1254
01:16:09,331 --> 01:16:11,299
Batman will never change!
1255
01:16:11,300 --> 01:16:13,393
You know uncle boo?
Just shut it down.
1256
01:16:13,435 --> 01:16:16,427
- These diseased lunatics are right.
- Yes, we are.
1257
01:16:16,471 --> 01:16:22,307
- I'm not gonna be part of a
one-sided relationship any longer!
- Yes!
1258
01:16:22,311 --> 01:16:24,336
- What are you talking about?
- You and I are done.
1259
01:16:24,379 --> 01:16:26,347
- What is wrong with you?
- I'm moving on!
1260
01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:33,253
- That's ridiculous.
- And on my way out, I'm gonna
blow up Gotham City!
1261
01:16:33,255 --> 01:16:37,487
- No, you're not serious!
- Wingardium Leviosa!
1262
01:16:37,526 --> 01:16:42,463
You know what, for once Batman you're right.
I'm not your greatest enemy.
1263
01:16:42,464 --> 01:16:45,592
Your greatest enemy is you.
1264
01:16:45,617 --> 01:16:48,460
- Goodbye, Batman.
- Wait a minute, hold on a second!
1265
01:16:48,470 --> 01:16:51,268
- Good for you, boo boo!
- Yay!
1266
01:16:51,306 --> 01:16:55,306
Everything get a bomb, let's go.
Bomb, bomb, bomb, let's bomb it out.
1267
01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:01,778
Say goodbye Gotham City!
1268
01:17:02,202 --> 01:17:04,402
[♪ THE PHANTOM ZONE]
1269
01:17:13,028 --> 01:17:16,456
- HI!
- Oh, I am so sorry!
1270
01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:21,232
It's my fault, I keep doing that.
Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy.
1271
01:17:21,269 --> 01:17:23,396
What are you talking about?
I'm not a bad guy.
1272
01:17:23,438 --> 01:17:27,306
But you're all in black, you have a cape,
and you wear a big scary mask.
1273
01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:29,368
- Well I'm not.
- And you kicked me in the face!
1274
01:17:29,411 --> 01:17:33,404
- Listen, I'm Batman.
- Oof, you even sound like a bad guy.
1275
01:17:33,448 --> 01:17:37,282
- I swear, I'm a good guy.
- Okay, Mr Batman,
1276
01:17:37,285 --> 01:17:39,412
hold still while I scan you.
1277
01:17:39,454 --> 01:17:41,422
Scanning for badness...
1278
01:17:41,423 --> 01:17:44,290
- You're super nimble, right?
- I sure am!
1279
01:17:44,292 --> 01:17:48,319
- And 110% expendable.
- I don't know what that means, but okay.
1280
01:17:48,330 --> 01:17:51,493
- How'd I do, Dad?
- Mediocre. And don't call me dad.
1281
01:17:51,533 --> 01:17:52,933
Sorry.
1282
01:17:54,403 --> 01:17:57,338
Alfred, put that kid on the
next jet to the orphanage.
1283
01:17:57,339 --> 01:18:02,402
But doesn't he deserve a chance for
someone to take him under their wing?
1284
01:18:02,444 --> 01:18:05,379
As I took you under mine?
1285
01:18:05,380 --> 01:18:11,241
Listen, you don't have a family, so what
do you know about having a surrogate son?
1286
01:18:14,089 --> 01:18:18,119
Batman, we have to stick together.
1287
01:18:18,460 --> 01:18:20,927
Please.
1288
01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:26,433
Joker, you mean nothing to me.
1289
01:18:27,157 --> 01:18:29,257
No one does.
1290
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:38,500
You're not a traditional bad guy,
but you're not exactly a good guy either.
1291
01:18:39,181 --> 01:18:42,378
You even abandon your friends.
1292
01:18:42,517 --> 01:18:45,384
- What?
- Go on Scuttler, go!
1293
01:18:45,420 --> 01:18:47,217
- Batman, don't do this.
1294
01:18:47,255 --> 01:18:52,349
- No, I was trying to protect them!
- By pushing them away?
1295
01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:54,419
Well, yeah.
1296
01:18:54,463 --> 01:18:58,356
Are they really the ones you're protecting?
1297
01:19:00,368 --> 01:19:04,270
Computer, Batman's in danger.
Please Computer, take us back.
1298
01:19:04,272 --> 01:19:06,421
Do you really want the man who
made you to come to harm?
1299
01:19:06,446 --> 01:19:08,368
Batman programmed me to obey him.
1300
01:19:08,376 --> 01:19:11,345
but he didn't say to not not rescue him.
1301
01:19:11,379 --> 01:19:12,346
What are they doing?
1302
01:19:12,347 --> 01:19:16,477
Come on guys, hustle, Gotham City's
not going to blow itself up!
1303
01:19:16,518 --> 01:19:19,518
Well, hello.
1304
01:19:23,859 --> 01:19:26,856
'Puter, go to super secret stealth mode.
1305
01:19:29,397 --> 01:19:31,162
- Hold on!
- No!
1306
01:19:31,199 --> 01:19:35,363
Evil buddies, those are my last 3
painful reminders of Batman.
1307
01:19:35,470 --> 01:19:37,495
Run! Come on Alfred, this way!
1308
01:19:37,539 --> 01:19:42,442
- Wait, where's Dick?
- The little guy? He's over there.
1309
01:19:42,444 --> 01:19:45,345
- What's he doing?
- Gotta save my family.
1310
01:19:45,347 --> 01:19:47,474
Just think, what would Batman do?
1311
01:19:47,516 --> 01:19:49,279
- What?
- I know,
1312
01:19:49,284 --> 01:19:51,745
not listen to anyone else,
be mean to people,
1313
01:19:51,770 --> 01:19:55,484
destroy as much property as possible,
talk in a really low gravelly voice,
1314
01:19:55,490 --> 01:19:57,355
and go it alone.
1315
01:19:57,392 --> 01:19:58,381
Kid, don't do that!
1316
01:19:58,426 --> 01:20:01,485
Atomic batteries to power.
Turbines to speed.
1317
01:20:01,530 --> 01:20:04,398
Don't do what I would do!
I never even taught you how to drive!
1318
01:20:04,399 --> 01:20:08,426
Hold on a second, brick lady. I'm so sorry,
I need to get down there and stop this.
1319
01:20:08,470 --> 01:20:11,371
I can't let you go, my boss
will be really mad at me.
1320
01:20:11,373 --> 01:20:15,434
Yeah, but I bet your boss would be happy
if you were able to get all those bad guys back in here.
1321
01:20:15,443 --> 01:20:19,379
- Hmm, she sure would.
- Then let me try, let me get down there and help them.
1322
01:20:19,414 --> 01:20:22,008
But haven't you tried that before?
1323
01:20:22,785 --> 01:20:24,285
This way Alfred.
1324
01:20:25,520 --> 01:20:29,179
You do the same thing over and over.
1325
01:20:32,460 --> 01:20:35,061
What's gonna change?
1326
01:20:36,965 --> 01:20:38,990
I know what I need to do.
1327
01:20:39,201 --> 01:20:42,394
Just give me 24 hours and I'll come back.
1328
01:20:43,505 --> 01:20:46,205
You've gotta let me go
down there and save them.
1329
01:20:47,976 --> 01:20:49,476
I'll do whatever you want.
1330
01:20:50,412 --> 01:20:52,169
- Please.
- EXTERMINATE.
1331
01:20:52,194 --> 01:20:53,372
Please.
1332
01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:58,209
- Okay, but I need all the bad guys locked up in here.
- I promise.
1333
01:20:59,487 --> 01:21:02,521
And I mean all of them.
1334
01:21:03,258 --> 01:21:05,383
One of these buttons has to
save my friends!
1335
01:21:05,427 --> 01:21:08,763
- Self-destruct mode activated.
- Self what?
1336
01:21:09,397 --> 01:21:12,231
- Master Dick!
- No!
1337
01:21:15,370 --> 01:21:17,596
Look who's bat!
1338
01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:19,406
What?
1339
01:21:28,150 --> 01:21:30,311
Everyone okay?
Dick, Alfred, Barbara?
1340
01:21:30,518 --> 01:21:33,786
- Are you guys-
- We're fine, Batman.
1341
01:21:35,490 --> 01:21:39,990
Listen, I just wanted to say...
1342
01:21:42,097 --> 01:21:48,229
That I'm really... really... really...
1343
01:21:48,470 --> 01:21:52,497
really really really...
really really...
1344
01:21:57,379 --> 01:22:02,016
sooooo...
1345
01:22:02,317 --> 01:22:06,213
- Sorry?
- Yeah! Woo, I did it!
1346
01:22:08,356 --> 01:22:11,116
I don't even know why you
bothered coming back.
1347
01:22:13,361 --> 01:22:17,425
I... was... afraid.
1348
01:22:17,532 --> 01:22:19,430
What?
1349
01:22:20,502 --> 01:22:26,407
The reason I came back was
the same reason I left you.
1350
01:22:28,110 --> 01:22:35,175
I was afraid... of feeling...
the pain...
1351
01:22:35,417 --> 01:22:40,514
you feel... when you lose...
1352
01:22:40,522 --> 01:22:43,522
...someone close to you.
1353
01:22:50,999 --> 01:22:53,160
Gotham needs us.
1354
01:22:53,468 --> 01:22:57,495
So I came back to do this.
1355
01:22:57,539 --> 01:22:59,935
Flip.
1356
01:23:00,041 --> 01:23:01,730
Flip? What is that, I don't-
1357
01:23:01,776 --> 01:23:05,069
You gotta turn around.
1358
01:23:05,480 --> 01:23:11,350
I call it the Babs Signal,
and I'm flipping the switch for you.
1359
01:23:11,353 --> 01:23:15,012
Because saving this city is too big
a job for one person.
1360
01:23:15,057 --> 01:23:17,849
Flip, flip.
1361
01:23:21,463 --> 01:23:27,259
So what do you say, Commish?
Will you work with me?
1362
01:23:27,369 --> 01:23:30,138
I need your help.
1363
01:23:30,372 --> 01:23:32,964
I thought you'd never ask.
1364
01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:36,405
I'm very, very proud of you, son.
1365
01:23:36,511 --> 01:23:40,504
But there's still only 4 of us
against Joker's entire army.
1366
01:23:40,548 --> 01:23:43,278
That's why I called in some backup.
1367
01:23:43,284 --> 01:23:46,412
Flip flip flip flip...
1368
01:23:46,421 --> 01:23:50,255
- Woah!
- We saw your signal and we came to help!
1369
01:23:50,258 --> 01:23:52,488
Joker may be done with us,
but we're not done with him.
1370
01:23:52,527 --> 01:23:57,464
- We will be the Joker's reckoning!
- Joker said mean stuff to us.
1371
01:23:57,465 --> 01:24:03,426
You were right Barbara:
It takes a village, not a Batman.
1372
01:24:04,472 --> 01:24:07,270
Okay, everybody listen up.
1373
01:24:07,275 --> 01:24:10,438
These monsters wanna destroy Gotham City.
1374
01:24:10,478 --> 01:24:12,503
That's right. We need sick new vehicles.
1375
01:24:12,547 --> 01:24:15,243
An arsenal of advanced weaponry.
1376
01:24:15,250 --> 01:24:17,514
Costumes that suit our
individual personalities.
1377
01:24:17,519 --> 01:24:18,451
RIP!
1378
01:24:18,486 --> 01:24:21,319
And codenames to use
on our walkie-talkies.
1379
01:24:21,356 --> 01:24:24,325
- Call it out! Your name is... Lady Bat.
- Lady Bat?
1380
01:24:24,359 --> 01:24:26,048
- Bat Lady. - Veto.
- Batarina. - No.
1381
01:24:26,073 --> 01:24:28,318
- Soccer-Mom Bat.
- What?
1382
01:24:28,329 --> 01:24:30,490
How about a cool costume?
Nice!
1383
01:24:30,532 --> 01:24:35,231
- That one's called 'Batgirl'.
- If I'm Batgirl, I can call you Batboy?
1384
01:24:35,236 --> 01:24:40,469
And lastly, a coordinated attack strategy
and a kick butt theme song. Robin?
1385
01:24:40,508 --> 01:24:44,074
- My superhero codename!
- Oh yeah! Hit it!
1386
01:24:44,079 --> 01:24:44,979
Got it!
1387
01:24:45,250 --> 01:24:48,050
[♪ WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO]
No!
1388
01:24:48,200 --> 01:24:51,400
[♪ NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP]
Ugh!
1389
01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:54,321
[♪ FLY ROBIN FLY]
Absolutely not.
1390
01:24:54,345 --> 01:24:56,845
[♪ HEROES (WE COULD BE)]
1391
01:24:57,258 --> 01:25:00,318
This music is filling me with rage.
1392
01:25:00,361 --> 01:25:02,188
Let's use it.
1393
01:25:02,497 --> 01:25:05,164
Alright team, I'm gonna need
to know your special powers.
1394
01:25:05,400 --> 01:25:08,301
- I'm a giant clay person!
- I'm irritating!
1395
01:25:08,336 --> 01:25:11,287
[CONVERSATION OVERLAPPING]
1396
01:25:11,312 --> 01:25:12,238
[CONVERSATION OVERLAPPING]
- Ketchup!
1397
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,368
- Nice! Orca?
- I'm a whale.
1398
01:25:15,410 --> 01:25:17,344
Oh, we got this covered!
1399
01:25:21,316 --> 01:25:22,516
Whale yeah!
1400
01:25:25,020 --> 01:25:26,749
Shh, quiet.
1401
01:25:27,088 --> 01:25:29,147
Who's laying down those funky beats?
1402
01:25:29,357 --> 01:25:31,450
We are!
1403
01:25:31,493 --> 01:25:33,056
Batman!?
1404
01:25:33,061 --> 01:25:35,256
Evil Army, get rid of them!
1405
01:25:35,497 --> 01:25:38,432
Team Gotham Family, activate!
1406
01:25:38,433 --> 01:25:39,733
Voldy's got this.
1407
01:25:53,457 --> 01:25:54,357
Woah.
1408
01:25:54,382 --> 01:25:58,284
Batman, take out Joker's bomb.
I'll get that projector.
1409
01:25:58,286 --> 01:25:59,979
10-4.
1410
01:26:00,421 --> 01:26:05,221
- Freeze, Clayface, Take this guy out!
- Coming through!
1411
01:26:09,064 --> 01:26:11,492
Okay Alfred, bring the pain.
1412
01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:16,903
Bringing it Sir, for Queen and country!
1413
01:26:17,438 --> 01:26:19,938
You just got union jacked!
1414
01:26:21,442 --> 01:26:25,503
Robin, get ready. I'm about to teach you
some father and son stuff.
1415
01:26:26,047 --> 01:26:29,307
- First, driving. Put your hands at 10 to 2.
- Okay.
1416
01:26:29,317 --> 01:26:32,411
Now fly. Turn left.
1417
01:26:32,453 --> 01:26:36,514
Run over these skeletons.
Now drive up the wall.
1418
01:26:36,958 --> 01:26:39,486
- Great driving!
- Thanks, Padre.
1419
01:26:42,430 --> 01:26:46,064
Okay, Robin, together we're gonna
punch these guys so hard
1420
01:26:46,067 --> 01:26:50,967
words describing the impact are going to
spontaneously materialize out of thin air.
1421
01:27:02,383 --> 01:27:03,350
High five!
1422
01:27:03,351 --> 01:27:05,512
Stop moving around, muggle!
1423
01:27:05,520 --> 01:27:09,117
Alright team, let's shut him down.
1424
01:27:09,157 --> 01:27:10,884
Orca, you're up baby.
1425
01:27:11,426 --> 01:27:15,328
You wanna see a magic trick?
I'm gonna make you disappear!
1426
01:27:15,330 --> 01:27:18,299
- Wingardium Levio-
- Yoink!
1427
01:27:18,299 --> 01:27:21,359
Wingardium Levio shut up!
1428
01:27:21,402 --> 01:27:25,038
Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy.
1429
01:27:25,340 --> 01:27:29,367
Here we go, Bat Team.
Batman's in sight.
1430
01:27:31,279 --> 01:27:37,275
- Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy.
- Robin, go long!
1431
01:27:38,319 --> 01:27:40,310
Oh my gosh, yes!
1432
01:27:40,355 --> 01:27:42,355
Here you go, grandpa.
1433
01:27:43,191 --> 01:27:43,991
Hey Batman!
1434
01:27:47,462 --> 01:27:50,488
Get off my Padre!
1435
01:27:51,066 --> 01:27:55,394
It wasn't useless after all!
End this, Batgirl!
1436
01:27:57,338 --> 01:28:00,030
Adios, Shark!
1437
01:28:00,441 --> 01:28:03,741
Okay, we have 'em beat guys.
I'm gonna go defuse that-
1438
01:28:16,157 --> 01:28:18,357
It's the end of Gotham City!
1439
01:28:19,460 --> 01:28:23,094
As I predicted... we're doomed!
1440
01:28:23,331 --> 01:28:26,391
We're not doomed, I got this.
1441
01:28:26,401 --> 01:28:29,336
Everyone grab on to me.
1442
01:28:29,370 --> 01:28:33,100
Come on guys, we need to
hold this city together!
1443
01:28:34,109 --> 01:28:37,437
- Bat-Rope, no!
- Everybody run!
1444
01:28:37,445 --> 01:28:40,471
No, we have to stick together!
Right, Batman?
1445
01:28:40,515 --> 01:28:44,417
- We need to use our heads
- Maybe we should build something together.
1446
01:28:44,419 --> 01:28:49,379
- Stick together...
- Build something...
1447
01:28:52,460 --> 01:28:57,221
I got it! You're right Babs,
we need to stick together... literally!
1448
01:28:57,231 --> 01:29:00,467
- Robin, quick, give me a boost!
- On it, Padre!
1449
01:29:00,468 --> 01:29:05,371
We're gonna stick together using our heads,
and the most powerful weapon of all,
1450
01:29:05,373 --> 01:29:08,200
shredded abs. Let's do this.
1451
01:29:09,810 --> 01:29:14,305
- You got this, Alfred?
- Yes, Sir. Abs of steel!
1452
01:29:14,315 --> 01:29:18,350
Great! Now you bend, and I'll
grab the other side.
1453
01:29:19,387 --> 01:29:20,587
No!
1454
01:29:26,427 --> 01:29:31,455
- Joker, please, help us.
- No, I'm not going to help you!
1455
01:29:31,499 --> 01:29:37,369
at least if this city is destroyed, I'll die
knowing I'm your greatest enemy.
1456
01:29:37,405 --> 01:29:39,464
I have to die to know it.
1457
01:29:39,507 --> 01:29:46,076
Shut up Joker! If there's no Gotham,
then I'll never get to fight you again!
1458
01:29:46,314 --> 01:29:47,805
What?
1459
01:29:48,316 --> 01:29:54,255
You're the reason why I get up at
4 o'clock in the afternoon and pump iron
until my chest is positively sick.
1460
01:29:54,255 --> 01:29:59,283
You're the reason I've given up a life
spent with Russian ballerinas and
Lady Activewear models.
1461
01:29:59,327 --> 01:30:05,357
And if it wasn't for you, I never would
have learned how connected I am
with all these people...
1462
01:30:05,366 --> 01:30:07,059
...and you.
1463
01:30:08,036 --> 01:30:11,900
So if you help me save Gotham...
1464
01:30:12,473 --> 01:30:15,174
...you'll help me save us.
1465
01:30:15,376 --> 01:30:18,109
You just said, ''us''?
1466
01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:23,379
Yeah. Batman and the Joker.
1467
01:30:23,484 --> 01:30:26,117
What do you say?
1468
01:30:26,320 --> 01:30:29,080
You had me at 'shut up'.
1469
01:30:30,324 --> 01:30:34,488
- How are your abs, bro?
- Too much flab, not enough ab. Why?
1470
01:30:34,495 --> 01:30:37,025
Because I need you to crunch them.
1471
01:30:37,265 --> 01:30:41,258
Citizens of Gotham!
We need all of you to join us
1472
01:30:41,269 --> 01:30:44,166
and help bring this city back together.
1473
01:31:09,397 --> 01:31:11,490
I'm just gonna come right out and say it.
1474
01:31:11,499 --> 01:31:14,366
I hate you, Joker.
1475
01:31:14,402 --> 01:31:16,393
- I hate you, too.
- I hate you more.
1476
01:31:16,404 --> 01:31:20,841
- I hate you the most.
- I hate you forever.
1477
01:31:23,444 --> 01:31:24,944
We did it everyone!
1478
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:31,800
Bane is feeling warm and fuzzy.
1479
01:31:36,491 --> 01:31:38,182
Padre.
1480
01:31:38,526 --> 01:31:40,517
Where you going?
1481
01:31:40,528 --> 01:31:42,428
I made a promise.
1482
01:31:42,463 --> 01:31:45,455
I gotta go back to the Phantom Zone.
1483
01:31:45,466 --> 01:31:49,300
- Sorry, kid.
- Padre, please!
1484
01:31:49,337 --> 01:31:53,364
- Don't call me Padre.
- Okay.
1485
01:31:53,407 --> 01:31:55,840
Call me...
1486
01:31:58,446 --> 01:31:59,946
Dads.
1487
01:32:00,481 --> 01:32:04,474
My 2 dads are the same dad!
1488
01:32:04,519 --> 01:32:08,455
But, they're both leaving.
1489
01:32:08,489 --> 01:32:11,515
It's gonna be okay, kid.
1490
01:32:12,160 --> 01:32:15,086
Sometimes losing people
is part of life.
1491
01:32:15,296 --> 01:32:19,132
But that doesn't mean
you stop letting them in.
1492
01:32:19,167 --> 01:32:22,230
Some very wise people taught me that.
1493
01:32:22,470 --> 01:32:25,439
My father figure.
1494
01:32:25,439 --> 01:32:28,374
My platonic co-worker buddy,
1495
01:32:28,409 --> 01:32:32,077
who's a girl, but just a friend.
1496
01:32:32,446 --> 01:32:41,377
And you... 'Mi Hijo'.
It's Spanish for 'son'.
1497
01:32:42,356 --> 01:32:49,062
This is my family,
but it's your family too.
1498
01:33:51,425 --> 01:33:53,317
- You have a knife?
- Why?
1499
01:33:53,326 --> 01:33:56,762
Because someone needs to cut
the tension between the 2 of us.
1500
01:33:58,532 --> 01:34:01,330
- Okay, I deserve that.
- Hi!
1501
01:34:01,369 --> 01:34:03,337
Wait a minute, what's going on?
1502
01:34:03,371 --> 01:34:05,464
I came back, just like
I said I would,
1503
01:34:05,473 --> 01:34:07,373
You know, Mr Batman,
1504
01:34:07,408 --> 01:34:10,377
when you're a talking brick
working at the Phantom Zone
1505
01:34:10,378 --> 01:34:13,245
you see a lot of crazy things.
1506
01:34:13,280 --> 01:34:17,341
But I've finally seen a man,
in order to make the world a better place,
1507
01:34:17,351 --> 01:34:20,514
take a look at himself,
and make a change.
1508
01:34:20,521 --> 01:34:22,318
Who?
1509
01:34:22,356 --> 01:34:24,290
- Superman.
- WHAT!?
1510
01:34:24,325 --> 01:34:27,385
I'm kidding. It's you!
1511
01:34:28,529 --> 01:34:31,396
Well, I guess I'll be seeing you
on the streets, Batman.
1512
01:34:31,399 --> 01:34:36,302
- I guess so. catch you later, Joker.
- Let's go, gang!
1513
01:34:36,303 --> 01:34:38,430
We're not just gonna let these
criminals go, right?
1514
01:34:38,439 --> 01:34:42,375
Ah come on Comish, let's face it, those
guys are no match for the 4 of us.
1515
01:34:42,410 --> 01:34:48,149
We'll give them a 30 minute head start.
Besides, you can't fight crime on
an empty stomach.
1516
01:34:48,173 --> 01:34:49,516
[♪ MAN IN THE MIRROR]
1517
01:34:49,517 --> 01:34:54,318
- Hey Computer.
- We're home!
1518
01:34:55,523 --> 01:34:59,726
- What is the password?
- Iron Man sucks!
1519
01:35:15,209 --> 01:35:19,838
You... complete me.
1520
01:35:32,493 --> 01:35:36,887
Holy family photo, Batman!
I love it!
1521
01:35:42,503 --> 01:35:43,503
White.
1522
01:35:43,527 --> 01:35:48,499
All important movies end
with a white screen.
1523
01:35:48,509 --> 01:35:50,500
And tying up loose ends...
1524
01:35:50,544 --> 01:35:54,503
- We're coming for you, Gotham City!
- Like this Snake-Clowns bit.
1525
01:35:54,515 --> 01:35:57,045
- Snake clowns?
- Told you they were real.
1526
01:35:57,051 --> 01:36:01,020
Did you stick wigs onto snakes?
That is so weird!
1527
01:36:01,154 --> 01:36:03,348
Hey, can I play that song
I wrote for the end credits?
1528
01:36:03,390 --> 01:36:05,483
- That's a hard pass.
- Come on!
1529
01:36:05,493 --> 01:36:07,484
- Let the kid play whatever music he wants!
- No no no!
1530
01:36:07,528 --> 01:36:10,395
- Please? - No!
- Padre?
1531
01:36:10,397 --> 01:36:14,424
- Fine. 'Puter.
- Okay, Sir.
1532
01:36:14,435 --> 01:36:16,500
Now playing,
[♪ ROBIN'S HAPPY POPPY MUSIC]
1533
01:36:16,525 --> 01:36:20,465
The kind that makes parents
and studio executives happy.
1534
01:36:20,508 --> 01:36:23,972
♪ I wake up early in the morning
♪ and I'm texting you
1535
01:36:24,546 --> 01:36:26,774
Hey Robin, it's 7:30!
1536
01:36:26,798 --> 01:36:30,398
♪ Well that's okay I'm ready
♪ to fight crime with you, the Dark Knight!
1537
01:36:30,422 --> 01:36:32,222
I'll be sleeping past 2!
1538
01:36:32,246 --> 01:36:36,346
♪ We sometimes fight (BOOM POW BAM)
♪ but we always make up!
1539
01:36:36,400 --> 01:36:38,700
- Hey man I'm sorry
- It's okay!
1540
01:36:38,700 --> 01:36:41,500
♪ We're not related
♪ but here's good news
1541
01:36:41,524 --> 01:36:44,224
♪ Friends are the family
♪ you can choose
1542
01:36:44,248 --> 01:36:47,448
♪ High five, down low,
♪ to the side, let's go!
1543
01:36:47,580 --> 01:36:50,580
♪ You're my best friend
♪ my best friend
1544
01:36:51,600 --> 01:36:53,300
♪ And friends are family
1545
01:36:53,400 --> 01:36:56,900
♪ You're my best friend
♪ my best friend
1546
01:36:57,700 --> 01:36:59,912
♪ And friends are family
1547
01:36:59,937 --> 01:37:01,847
♪ You're my family!
1548
01:37:01,848 --> 01:37:04,148
♪ Come on everybody and sing
1549
01:37:04,251 --> 01:37:06,051
- Come on, Batman!
- No!
1550
01:37:06,175 --> 01:37:08,575
♪ You're my best friend,
my best friend
1551
01:37:09,200 --> 01:37:11,200
♪ And friends are family
1552
01:37:11,424 --> 01:37:13,924
♪ Best friends! My friends are the best!
1553
01:37:14,780 --> 01:37:17,280
♪ Best friends! My friends are the best!
1554
01:37:17,304 --> 01:37:19,127
My friends are the best.
1555
01:37:19,228 --> 01:37:22,928
♪ I got a utility belt
♪ A sparkly cape
1556
01:37:23,000 --> 01:37:25,800
♪ Saw the signal so I'm heading
♪ back to the cave
1557
01:37:25,876 --> 01:37:29,076
- Well I'm all smiles!
- It's Joker! Don't be afraid.
1558
01:37:29,076 --> 01:37:33,076
We'll always bet on black. That's a fact,
come on Robin watch my back!
1559
01:37:33,100 --> 01:37:35,300
♪ Well I don't think that you
♪ were happy till I met you
1560
01:37:35,382 --> 01:37:36,082
I was.
1561
01:37:36,106 --> 01:37:41,306
♪ I know you're playing buddy, we can't lose
♪ Cause friends are the family you can choose
1562
01:37:41,388 --> 01:37:45,347
Robin gimme the mic, drop the beat,
think you can handle that?
1562
01:37:46,305 --> 01:38:46,829
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