1
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:13,789
NARRA TOR: In a distant
and second-hand set of dimensions,
2
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:19,273
through wavering star mists,
see the Great A 'Tuin.
3
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:29,313
Drifting onwards through space
atop the sheII of the great turtIe
4
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,437
are four giant eIephants,
5
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:37,878
upon whose broad shouIders
rests the DiscworId.
6
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:45,276
For the peopIe on the Disc,
the turtIe was a mere hypothesis,
7
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,148
untiI one day, the isIand kingdom of KruII,
8
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:53,358
whose rim-most mountains
project over the rim faII,
9
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,910
Iowered over the edge a brass vesseI
10
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:01,471
containing severaI astrozooIogists.
11
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:07,994
Their mission did indeed prove
the existence of the turtIe.
12
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,914
UnfortunateIy,
owing to a minor maIfunction,
13
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,589
(CABLE SNAPS )
14
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,389
they were unabIe to answer
an even more fundamentaI question.
15
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:21,316
What is the sex of the turtle?
16
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,435
NARRA TOR: The remaining astrozooIogists
are never short of a question.
17
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,872
Why does it matter?
18
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,793
So we're gonna look at a turtle's bottom?
19
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:35,069
-That won't be very nice, will it?
-No.
20
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,113
Since the failure of the last mission,
21
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,317
this vital question
cannot possibly be answered
22
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,995
without sending a new expedition
over the edge of the Disc
23
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,593
in this.
24
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,032
lt's a bit small.
25
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,150
lt will be somewhat bigger.
26
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:03,114
(CHUCKLlNG) Yeah, but where in the world
are you gonna find someone
27
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,872
stupid enough to go in that?
28
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,918
NARRA TOR: SeveraI thousand miIes
hubwards from the rim,
29
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,515
in Ankh Morpork, the Disc's oIdest city,
30
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,389
the ship arriving in its dock
is carrying TwofIower,
31
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,593
the DiscworId's first tourist.
32
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:27,035
He is Iooking forward
to aII its sights and smeIIs.
33
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,791
And, of course, no tour wouId be compIete
34
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:36,193
without a visit to the city's
Unseen University for Wizards,
35
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,714
and its famous Tower of Art.
36
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:49,071
When our story begins,
wizards are not very nice.
37
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,949
Carrying the finaI remains
of one of their number,
38
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,350
the eight heads of the orders of wizardry
have demonstrated
39
00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:01,594
great powers of survivaI, because
behind every wizard of the eighth rank,
40
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:07,198
there is at Ieast one seventh-rank wizard
trying to bump him off.
41
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,839
Old Rumlet, he never saw it coming,
you know, Trymon.
42
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,559
Well, you know what they say,
Arch Chancellor.
43
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:18,713
''When a wizard is tired of looking
for broken glass in his dinner,
44
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,111
''he is tired of life.''
45
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,760
l'm just speculating, obviously.
46
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:36,031
We are gathered here today
to pay our respects to Old Rumlet,
47
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,155
a wizard...
48
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,229
(DOOR SLAMS )
49
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,910
(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTER)
50
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,920
Sorry. Sorry.
51
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,228
(PANTlNG)
52
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,878
l'm not late, am l?
53
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:55,628
-Who is that?
-Rincewind, Arch Chancellor.
54
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,553
Rincewind?
55
00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,399
(lNDlSTlNCT WHlSPERlNG)
56
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,039
Oh!
57
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,553
Have him sent to my office in ten minutes.
58
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,316
Oh, get on with it, Weatherwax.
My back's killing me.
59
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,234
Run along, Rincewind.
60
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,519
Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
61
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,069
Oh! Sorry, Narrowbolt.
62
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,195
(RlNCEWlND EX CLAlMS )
63
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:28,677
Mr Rincewind, there are,
as you know, eight levels of wizardry
64
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,354
to which the aspiring young...
65
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,710
To which the student can aspire.
66
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:38,597
ln your not inconsiderable time here
at the Unseen University,
67
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,877
you have failed to reach even level one.
68
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,395
-Ah, yes, but you see...
-What the Arch Chancellor is trying to say
69
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,835
is that, after decades of teaching you,
70
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,755
patience seems not so much a virtue
as a life sentence.
71
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,189
-Oh, yes, but...
-There is simply no room
72
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:02,068
for your kind of person
in a modern university.
73
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,469
-l feel...
-So you leave the Arch Chancellor
74
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,314
no other course of action but to expel you.
75
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,232
(TlTTERlNG) But it's only been 40 years.
76
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,553
TRYMON: (COLDLY) The hat.
77
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,515
(DlSMlSSlVELY) Goodbye, Mr Rincewind.
78
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,710
NARRA TOR: In the competitive worId
of wizardry,
79
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:59,351
the way to the top
is via dead men's pointy shoes.
80
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,351
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHlNG)
81
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,475
(FOOTSTEPS STOP)
82
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,915
(FOOTSTEPS CONTlNUE APPROACHlNG)
83
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,999
Even if you have to empty them yourseIf.
84
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,471
TRYMON: Ashburn, Narrowbolt.
85
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:13,549
(WHOOSHlNG)
86
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,629
(THUDDlNG lNTO FLESH)
87
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,159
(GROANlNG)
88
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,513
-You can't...
-And don't come back!
89
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,829
(EXHALES SHORTLY)
90
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,279
Now, let me tell you...
91
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,753
Ah, thank you very much.
92
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,070
(EX CLAlMlNG)
93
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,158
(GRUMBLlNG)
94
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,593
NARRA TOR: Deep in its very boweIs,
95
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:34,878
the departure of the Disc's worst wizard
from the Unseen University
96
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:35,995
(GROWLlNG)
97
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,798
has stirred magic.
98
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,470
(lNAUDlBLE)
99
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,917
(lNAUDlBLE)
100
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,317
Good day to thee, sire.
101
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:04,749
Right.
102
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,272
(ALL GASP)
103
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:22,194
(WHOOSHlNG)
104
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,954
Goodbye, world.
105
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,359
(THUDDlNG)
106
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,953
Disappointing.
107
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,390
(ENUNClATlNG) ''Hello! ''
108
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,876
Hello, yourself.
109
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:50,795
''l wish
110
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,678
''to be directed
111
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,193
''to an hotel
112
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:56,639
''tavern,
113
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,395
''lodging house in hospice.
114
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,195
-''l wish...''
-l know a tavern.
115
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,189
Ooh!
116
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,269
This way.
117
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,556
(ALL EX CLAlMlNG)
118
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,033
Sapient pearwood!
119
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,316
NARRA TOR: The tourist's Iuggage
is no ordinary suitcase.
120
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:49,359
It has absoIuteIy no brain,
and a homicidaI attitude
121
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,637
towards anything
that threatens its master,
122
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,711
and wouId foIIow him anywhere.
123
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,358
(TWOFLOWER CLEARS THROAT)
124
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,038
''l wish
125
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,751
(ENUNClATlNG) ''for an accommodation.
126
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,999
''A room. Lodgings. Are your rooms clean?
A room with a view.
127
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,753
''What is your rate for one night?
What is for breakfast?
128
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,034
''Where are the
129
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,713
''bathrooms?''
130
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,553
(SOFTLY) He's got plenty money.
131
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,476
Oh, it'll be, um...
132
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,395
Two dollars, then?
133
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,914
Oh, and that thing
has to stay in the stables.
134
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,035
Hmm?
135
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,109
(CLEARS THROAT)
136
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:03,548
(ENUNClATlNG) Two!
137
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,874
Two-ah?
138
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:07,954
(GRUNTS )
139
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,513
(CHUCKLES )
140
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:14,675
Two-ah.
141
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,112
(LAUGHlNG) Oh!
142
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,428
(CHUCKLlNG) Two-ah.
143
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,879
(CLEARS THROAT)
144
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,313
Two-ah.
145
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,033
(TWOFLOWER lNOUlRlNG
lN FORElGN LANGUAGE)
146
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,872
TWOFLOWER: Um, shower?
147
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:44,749
(SPEAKlNG FORElGN LANGUAGE)
148
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,353
-...shower?
-BROADMAN: Huh?
149
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,512
lt is! Sapient pearwood!
150
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,149
(SPEAKlNG FORElGN LANGUAGE)
151
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,754
Um...
152
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,353
(CLEARS THROAT)
153
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:59,035
(SPEAKlNG HESlTANTLY
lN FORElGN LANGUAGE)
154
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,997
''...toiletries?'' Toilet...
155
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,715
May l be of assistance?
156
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,233
Oh, shove off, Rincewind.
157
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,356
(SPEAKS TROB)
158
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,353
lt won't work. lt's the book,
you see, it tells him what to say.
159
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:13,793
lt's magic.
160
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,560
(SPEAKlNG TROB)
161
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:19,629
Aye!
162
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,676
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
163
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,029
(lN DlSBELlEF) No!
164
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,319
(RlNCEWlND HESlTATlNG)
165
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,431
Oh! Uh...
166
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,953
Ah! So you're a wizard!
167
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,156
And you speak Ankh-Morporkean!
168
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:12,514
(CHUCKLlNG) Yes.
169
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,192
l did a correspondence course.
170
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,633
Well, what's all this about, then?
171
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,349
Oh! Well, a tourist should always use
his phrasebook
172
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,192
so that people will know you're one.
173
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,315
Ah! And, um,
174
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,919
(SOFTLY) is that really your luggage?
175
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,754
Yes. And are you really a wizard?
176
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,470
Hmm? Oh!
177
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,039
Well...
178
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,271
l hear the famous Unseen University
is a must-see.
179
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,590
l was hoping to visit it,
so that when l get back home
180
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,477
l could say that, you know, l did that.
181
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,152
Ah, yeah, well, it's closed.
182
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,790
(STAMMERlNG) For the exams.
183
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,155
Oh.
184
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:51,593
Where is your home?
185
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,830
Ah! Have you heard of Bes Pelargic?
186
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,789
lt's the major sea port
of the Agatean Empire.
187
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,314
That's the Counterweight Continent,
isn't it?
188
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,435
Yes.
189
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,919
We may be small,
190
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,709
but we're equal in weight to all the
major land masses of this hemicircle.
191
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,268
Well, that's because the ancient legend...
192
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,675
(CHUCKLlNG) lt says that it's made of gold.
193
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,272
-Well, it's not made of gold.
-No.
194
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,271
No, gold is just
a really common metal there.
195
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,710
(WHlSPERlNG) You might like
to keep that to ourselves.
196
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:26,835
Hmm?
197
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,873
On the house.
198
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:30,949
(CLEARS THROAT)
199
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,470
-Who is he?
-He says he's a tourist.
200
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,308
Ah.
201
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,913
What's that mean, then?
202
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,433
l think it means ''idiot.''
203
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,238
(TWOFLOWER CHOKlNG)
204
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,549
(EX CLAlMS lN DlSGUST)
205
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:42,789
Hmm.
206
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,508
(BOTH TOASTlNG lN TROB)
207
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,551
Yes.
208
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:05,273
You are correct in your surmise.
This is, technically, false coinage.
209
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,950
l knew it. Oh, l knew it.
l got a nose for a dud.
210
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,158
What do you mean, ''technically''?
211
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,789
Well, you see, our Ankh Morpork coins
212
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:19,271
contain rather less gold
than a pint of sea water.
213
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,599
l knew it!
214
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:25,593
But this, my friend, is solid gold.
215
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:27,992
What? What?
216
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,037
(STAMMERlNG) l've gotta get back.
217
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,318
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHlNG)
218
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,594
(CLEARS THROAT)
219
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:50,911
NARRA TOR: And so, the Ieaders
of a number of the many gangs, guiIds
220
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,835
and coIIections of other nefarious dirt bags
of Ankh Morpork
221
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,912
were aware that someone
had arrived in the city
222
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,037
who appeared to have much treasure.
223
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,473
Hmm.
224
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,429
IncIuding Ymor, its greatest thief.
225
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:07,509
(SOUAWKlNG)
226
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,674
(SLURPlNG)
227
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,435
So! No guards?
228
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,672
No, why?
What do l have that's worth stealing?
229
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:24,799
Well, the trunk. l mean, there can't be
more than two very small wands
230
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,589
made of sapient pearwood
in all the cities of the Circle Sea,
231
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,398
let alone a whole box.
232
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,669
(SCOFFS )
233
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,111
That, and the gold.
234
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,560
Barely 2,000 rhinu.
235
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:44,671
ls a rhinu one of those big gold coins?
236
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,795
Yes.
237
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,671
(WHlSPERlNG) Do you think
l paid the innkeeper too much?
238
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,359
l think he might have settled for less.
239
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,588
Well, l can see l've got a lot to learn.
240
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,392
-Hmm.
-Hmm.
241
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,512
An idea occurs to me.
242
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:05,910
Rincewind, would you perhaps consent
to be employed as a, um...
243
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,477
Well, perhaps the word ''guide''
would fit the circumstances.
244
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,676
l think l could afford to pay you...
245
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,313
A rhinu a day?
246
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,278
Oh dear, l've offended you.
247
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,034
lt was an impertinent request.
248
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,351
Doubtless you have works of high magic
to return to.
249
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,511
(STUTTERlNG) One of those a day?
250
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,112
Oh. Well... Two, then?
251
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,472
-What do you want to see?
-l want to see everything.
252
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,391
l mean, genuine Morporkean life.
253
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,392
You know, l want to go to the slave
markets and the whore pits,
254
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,948
the Temple of Small Gods,
the Beggars' Guild,
255
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,873
and a genuine tavern brawl.
256
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,158
(STUTTERlNG) Ah! Well...
257
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,993
Oh, no, no, no,
l'm not suggesting we get involved.
258
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,038
-l just wanna see it, that's all.
-Ah.
259
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:56,159
And some of your famous heroes,
like Cohen the Barbarian.
260
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,389
(CHUCKLES )
261
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,959
-Uh...
-You do know him?
262
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,270
Oh, yes! Yes, of course! Yeah!
263
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,475
Good.
264
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:04,958
So, it's agreed?
265
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,872
-Agreed?
-Excellent!
266
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,949
Be a good chap, would you,
267
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,600
and see to it that the innkeeper
shows my luggage to the room.
268
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,116
And l insist that you take
your first four days' wages
269
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,468
in advance.
270
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,596
Broadman? Luggage, room !
271
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,640
TWOFLOWER: And perhaps
when the exams are finished...
272
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,035
-BROADMAN: Come on, then!
-...we could get a peek at the, uh,
273
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,559
Unseen University?
274
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,633
(TlTTERS )
275
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,036
This calls for a picture.
276
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:37,951
RlNCEWlND: All the best wizards have left!
277
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,996
(LAUGHlNG) See you, loser!
278
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:51,036
Relax, Withel. The magic chest
will come back for its owner,
279
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,519
and with it, the gold.
280
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,236
Yes. Yes, yes, we'll just have a peek.
281
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,110
Just look over here, Rincewind, and smile.
282
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:05,833
Rincewind?
283
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:08,795
Hi.
284
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,675
(GlGGLlNG MADLY)
285
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:18,869
Halt!
286
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,795
(RlNCEWlND GROANS )
287
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:21,955
RlNCEWlND: Bugger it!
288
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,436
PATRlClAN: The city gates.
289
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,714
Attempting to leave.
290
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,310
NARRA TOR: The Patrician,
the ruIer of Ankh Morpork,
291
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,475
may not be particuIarIy fair
or even democratic,
292
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:45,839
but at Ieast, for the first time
in a thousand years, the city works.
293
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:49,959
This is IargeIy because he knows
where everyone is most of the time,
294
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,192
and which dissuasiveIy
vicious punishment to exact
295
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,078
for whatever they are doing there.
296
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:58,869
(GASPS )
297
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,757
Oath-breaking. The theft of a horse.
298
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,831
(HESlTANTLY) Oh, no, my Lord Patrician,
l didn't steal the horse,
299
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,831
l paid for it fairly.
300
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,791
Using false coinage, which is
technically theft, l think, false coinage.
301
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,553
(lNHALES SHARPLY)
302
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:26,549
What are we going to do with you,
you little scamp?
303
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:33,789
Yes.
304
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,156
(lNHALES ) lt's the Arena
for you, Rincewind.
305
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,878
(WHlMPERlNG)
306
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:40,749
On top of these,
307
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,753
there is the moral obligatory attendant
on the cowardly betrayal
308
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,400
of a visitor to these shores.
309
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,955
Shame on you, Rincewind!
310
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,999
Will you be requiring a sword
or a spear for the Arena?
311
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,074
(STAMMERlNG)
312
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,638
(SOBBlNG)
313
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:02,994
Of course,
314
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,511
we could be merciful.
315
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,589
(RlNCEWlND WHlMPERS )
316
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,518
(MURMURlNG)
Think we should be merciful?
317
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,509
(CAWS )
318
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,598
BROADMAN: Two rhinu.
TWOFLOWER: One polycee.
319
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,195
(CAWlNG)
320
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,713
Oi! That's my door!
321
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,679
Door's fine.
322
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,629
Why don't you join me, Zlorf?
323
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,712
The Assassins' Guild are our friends.
324
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:36,789
(SNlGGERS )
325
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,038
l've come for the tourist.
326
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:50,279
l thought we had an agreement.
You don't rob and l don't kill.
327
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:01,553
l'll kill him,
328
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,311
and then you can rob him.
329
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,994
(GROANS )
330
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,350
lf anybody's going to kill him,
331
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,076
he'll need to talk to me first.
332
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,271
-But...
-Get those dwarves out of here!
333
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:26,835
(GASPS )
334
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,353
-Oh!
-Oh!
335
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,551
Who the hell are you?
336
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:36,998
l am Rerpf, and l'm here on behalf
of the Guild of Merchants and Traders
337
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,877
to protect our interests.
338
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,592
Meaning, the little man.
339
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:46,514
And how long has this Guild
been in existence, may l ask?
340
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,918
Since this afternoon.
341
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,834
l am Vice Guild Master
in charge of tourism.
342
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,195
Oh!
343
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,477
And what is this tourism
of which you speak?
344
00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,593
We're not quite sure.
345
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,029
What's a tourist?
346
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,155
Smile!
347
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:06,029
MAN: lt's magic!
348
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:07,348
(GRUNTlNG)
349
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:12,711
Now, l want you to listen very carefully
to what l have to say.
350
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,791
(SNlFFlNG SOFTLY)
351
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,871
Otherwise, you will die,
352
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,710
in an interesting fashion,
353
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,234
over a period.
354
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,630
(ANNOYED ) Please stop fidgeting like that.
355
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,756
The Emperor of the Counterweight
Continent has sent me a letter.
356
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:41,590
lt appears that one of his subjects
has taken it into his head to visit our city.
357
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,515
lt appears he wishes to
358
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:51,913
look at it.
359
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:54,109
(lNHALES SHARPLY)
360
00:24:54,200 --> 00:25:00,833
You will continue to be a guide,
Rincewind, to this looker, this
361
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:02,713
Twoflower.
362
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,632
You will make sure that he returns home
with a good report of our homeland.
363
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,869
What do you say to that? You say, ''Yes! ''
364
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,632
-l say, ''Yes! ''
-Yes!
365
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,393
Yes! Thank you, Lord. Thank you. Yeah.
366
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:22,876
Because it would be a tragedy
should anything
367
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,151
untoward
368
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,876
happen to our visitor.
369
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,068
(MEN FlGHTlNG)
370
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,071
lt would be dreadful if the tourist
were to die, for example.
371
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,268
Because the Emperor looks after his own,
372
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:52,193
and he could certainly extinguish us
at a nod,
373
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,558
which would be dreadful for you,
Rincewind, because l would hope,
374
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,679
when the Empire's huge
mercenary fleet arrived,
375
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,116
that the avenging captains would find
their anger somewhat tempered
376
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:09,315
by the fact that my skilled operatives have
just shown you the colour of your liver.
377
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,715
l see by your face
that understanding dawns.
378
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,235
(WEAKLY) Yes.
379
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,309
(SNORTS )
380
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,433
Good luck.
381
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,596
Oh, there's one other thing.
382
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,956
l'm sure you wouldn't dream
of trying to escape
383
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,951
from your obligations by, say,
384
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,119
running away.
385
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,391
l assure you, Lord,
386
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,597
that the thought never even
crossed my mind.
387
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,477
lndeed.
388
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,520
Then, if l were you,
l would sue my face for slander.
389
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,197
Don't let me detain you.
390
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,912
(SCREAMlNG)
391
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,909
(PEOPLE FlGHTlNG lNSlDE)
392
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:20,749
(PEOPLE CLAMOURlNG)
393
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,353
(CLANKlNG)
394
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:23,549
(GRUNTlNG)
395
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:24,675
(EX CLAlMS )
396
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:25,749
Whoa !
397
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,877
(GROANlNG)
398
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:31,829
(LUGGAGE SOUEAKlNG)
399
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:32,955
You...
400
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:36,799
(PANTlNG)
401
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,028
(SlGHS )
402
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,276
All right, all right, all right. l give in.
403
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,599
(MAN SCREAMlNG)
404
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,513
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
405
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:58,949
(LAUGHlNG)
406
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,154
(GRUNTS )
407
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,708
(ROARlNG)
408
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,748
(LAUGHlNG) Whoa !
409
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:21,589
Excuse me.
410
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,518
Rincewind, you came back!
411
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,318
(LAUGHlNG) l knew you would.
412
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:29,833
l just had to.
413
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,878
lt's exciting, isn't it?
A genuine tavern brawl.
414
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,678
lt's better than anything
l could have imagined.
415
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,878
Everybody say cheese!
416
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:40,269
(CLlCKS )
417
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,511
Do you think l should thank them or...
418
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:44,715
Did you put them up to this?
419
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,349
That's where you were!
420
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,034
Yes, l don't like to mention it.
421
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,519
(BOTH EX CLAlM)
422
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,678
(ENCOURAGlNGLY) Hey! Nice throw!
423
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,034
RlNCEWlND: We should be leaving.
424
00:28:58,800 --> 00:28:59,949
TWOFLOWER: Yeah!
425
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:01,955
(GRUNTlNG)
426
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,069
(WHlMPERlNG)
427
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:04,758
Um, Ashooni.
428
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:05,869
Um...
429
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,313
(GlBBERlNG COMMANDlNGLY)
430
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:08,594
Smile!
431
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:11,555
(EX CLAlMS )
432
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:12,629
(CHUCKLES )
433
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:16,555
Magic!
434
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,676
(STAMMERlNG) Uh, it's a collapsing spell.
435
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,239
Come along, we gotta go.
436
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,388
Oh!
437
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:34,434
(TWOFLOWER LAUGHS )
438
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:38,675
(CAWlNG)
439
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:39,795
(SOUEALS )
440
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,757
-Ah!
-TWOFLOWER: That's my luggage.
441
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,038
(ALL SHOUTlNG)
442
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:46,389
One more time!
443
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,399
(SCREAMS )
444
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:00,634
(LAUGHlNG) Attaboy!
445
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,789
(SlGHS )
446
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,115
So, where's Cohen the Barbarian?
447
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,597
Um, he's, uh,
448
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,279
right behind you.
449
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,517
Look, we really ought to be going.
450
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,956
(LAUGHS ) Fantastic! No one at home
is gonna believe this.
451
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,276
TWOFLOWER: All you do is rotate the lever
and the iconograph does the rest.
452
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,433
You wait here.
453
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,669
lt's no good. l've run out of red, see.
454
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,591
lf you wanted red, you shouldn't
have took all those pictures
455
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,272
of dwarves killing people, should you?
456
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,590
lt's monochrome from now on, friend.
457
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,318
-All right?
-Yeah.
458
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,271
TWOFLOWER: That's the picture imp.
459
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:49,952
Yes, of course it is.
460
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:54,036
TWOFLOWER: You know, Rincewind,
l'd like to have you in the picture as well.
461
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,318
Smile, please.
462
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,469
(CAMERA WORKlNG)
463
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,232
Smile. Smile!
464
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:01,389
(SHUTTER CLlCKS )
465
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:02,959
TWOFLOWER: What are we
gonna see next?
466
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,038
TWOFLOWER: What a great day!
467
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:15,748
(SlGHS )
468
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:16,869
Ah!
469
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:19,349
Hmm?
470
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:20,475
(RlNCEWlND LAUGHlNG)
471
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,471
TWOFLOWER: Yeah.
That's my favourite, with Cohen.
472
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,720
(HUMMlNG SOFTLY)
473
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,512
(RlNCEWlND CHUCKLlNG)
474
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:38,589
What the...
475
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:39,908
(SNlFFlNG)
476
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,991
Can you smell oil?
477
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,115
l don't think so.
478
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,150
(GRUMBLlNG) l'll kill that bloody cat.
479
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,310
DEATH: Here, take this.
480
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,277
Oh, thanks.
481
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,112
Don't mention it.
482
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,270
Tavern fights are pretty common
around here, no?
483
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,113
Oh, yeah, well, it's practically a sport.
484
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:05,272
Hmm. So, innkeepers must need a lot of...
485
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,517
Well, in my language,
we call it in-sur-ance.
486
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,039
''ln-sewer-ants''?
That's a funny word. What's it mean?
487
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,956
-Well, say you have a tavern built of wood.
-Mmm-hmm.
488
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,917
-Well, it might burn down.
-Hmm.
489
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:28,235
You don't want that to happen, so you
take out an in-sur-ance poly-cee, see?
490
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,869
And then l work out the odds
against it burning down,
491
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,188
and then add a bit,
492
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,840
and then you pay me some money,
based on those odds.
493
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,113
Oh, no.
494
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:42,958
But yes.
495
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:50,315
Well, then if it does burn down,
l pay you the value of the tavern.
496
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,514
Oh, it's a bit like a bet, right?
497
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,830
A wager? Yes, l suppose it is.
498
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:57,955
Ah!
499
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,391
Are you sure you can't smell oil?
500
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,469
(SNlFFlNG)
501
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,471
No. l can smell burning.
502
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,199
(BOTH SCREAMlNG)
503
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,195
(PEOPLE SCREAMlNG)
504
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,436
Did you in-sewer the Drum?
505
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,709
Luckily for Broadman, l still have
the rhinu he paid as his first premium.
506
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,035
You bet Broadman
that it wouldn't catch fire?
507
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,237
Standard valuation, 200 rhinu. Why?
Why do you ask?
508
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,596
Why do l... You... You... You dozy idiot!
509
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:51,715
(EX CLAlMS )
510
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,475
DEATH: Just carry on
as if l'm not here, Rincewind.
511
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,630
Your appointment is later.
512
00:33:58,920 --> 00:33:59,909
What's next?
513
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,033
What's next?
We'll be hung, drawn and quartered
514
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,838
if we stay here much longer!
515
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,195
-But why?
-What do you mean, why? Why? Why?
516
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,192
Look! The whole of Ankh Morpork
is made of wood!
517
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:12,799
(SCREAMlNG)
518
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,395
-What about my luggage?
-Bugger your luggage!
519
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,199
(SlGHS )
520
00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:33,754
Tell you what, whoever started that fire,
521
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:37,594
it'd be wise for them to find a fast horse
and make themselves very scarce.
522
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,030
(SARCASTlCALLY) Thank you
very much, Twoflower.
523
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,429
lt says that Chirm is lovely
this time of year.
524
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,353
Yes, and very, very dangerous.
525
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,228
-Really?
-Mmm.
526
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:54,035
(EXPLOSlON)
527
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,793
-Whoa !
-That's the oil bond store going up.
528
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,029
(TWOFLOWER EX CLAlMlNG)
529
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,790
(SCREAMlNG) Rincewind!
530
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:02,595
RlNCEWlND: Oh!
531
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:04,548
(WHlMPERlNG) Oh, no.
532
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:06,989
(EXPLOSlON)
533
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,195
Look at that over there.
534
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,952
Oh, dear God, no.
535
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:14,715
(GRUNTlNG)
536
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,952
Oi! Oi, you!
Come back here! That's my horse!
537
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,029
Come back!
538
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:28,992
SPELL: Oi! Rincewind!
539
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,355
NARRA TOR: The Octavo,
greatest of aII speII books,
540
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,195
Iocked and chained deep in the ceIIars
of the Unseen University.
541
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:43,956
The speIIs imprisoned in its pages
Iead a secret Iife of their own.
542
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,359
And Rincewind's departure
from Ankh Morpork
543
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,591
has Ieft them deepIy troubIed.
544
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,592
HEAD LlBRARlAN: l can't remember
it being like this before.
545
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,758
No.
546
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,637
Not since that time a young wizard...
547
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,039
Oh, dear.
548
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:10,637
l've expelled him, haven't l?
549
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,594
And nobody knows where he is, Librarian?
550
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,629
Not even the Patrician's palace guard.
551
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:21,630
Though they seem to think he'll turn up,
for some reason.
552
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:26,553
Look, he's the only person
in living memory
553
00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:32,951
who has actually touched the Octavo
with his bare hands.
554
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:39,152
We have no idea the effect
it will have on him in the outside world.
555
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:43,839
At least when he was a student,
we knew where he was.
556
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,596
Perhaps l've been a bit hasty.
557
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,592
Who else knows about this?
558
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,511
Nobody, Arch Chancellor.
559
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,475
Good. Let's keep it that way, shall we?
560
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:01,717
Oh. Apart from Greyhald Spold, of course.
561
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:06,237
Whose days are probably
numbered anyway.
562
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:10,872
On the subject of which, l haven't seen
old Narrowbolt around recently.
563
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:15,232
That's because he's dead, Arch Chancellor.
564
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,759
l'm just glad nobody wants to be
Head Librarian.
565
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,115
Perish the thought, Horace.
566
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,839
Oh, l am looking for a book.
567
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,193
New shoes?
568
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:39,599
And new hat, Mr Trymon.
569
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,793
-Hmm?
-Ah!
570
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,353
(GROWLlNG)
571
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:24,269
TRYMON: Oh, how very neat and tidy.
572
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:26,629
Did you know
573
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:30,759
that in the event of the
Arch Chancellor's sad demise,
574
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:35,076
he would be succeeded by Greyhald Spold?
575
00:38:36,720 --> 00:38:40,030
He's demonstrated
remarkable powers of survival.
576
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,353
Up to now.
577
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:49,152
l think it's very important
to strive for perfection. Don't you?
578
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:54,075
Oh, yes, sir. lf you want
to get to the very top, sir, yes.
579
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:03,470
The position of Head Librarian has
never really appealed to you, sir?
580
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:07,754
No.
581
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:11,554
Oh, good.
582
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:18,995
lt is quite possible
that the next Arch Chancellor
583
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:24,108
may well smile upon those
who understand the importance
584
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,953
of things being well organised.
585
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,075
(RUMBLlNG)
586
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,795
ls everything in order down there?
587
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,189
Oh, absolutely. Oh, everything is in
588
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,877
alphabetical order, in fact.
589
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,513
(RUMBLlNG)
590
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,794
(DlSTANT SCREECHlNG)
591
00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:57,153
(SCREECHlNG)
592
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:02,515
So, this is the famous Octavo.
593
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,559
-Famous and dangerous.
-How long has it been like this?
594
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,428
Well, it's always been a bit strange
as far back as l can remember.
595
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,435
But, for some reason, it's got rather lively.
596
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:17,829
Why?
597
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:20,799
l don't know.
598
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,394
Who does?
599
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,118
Greyhald Spold.
600
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:30,349
Hmm?
601
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,158
(MUTTERS ) Before my time.
602
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:38,391
Greyhald Spold. How convenient!
603
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,394
(SCREECHlNG)
604
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,075
TWOFLOWER: Rincewind?
605
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,157
Twoflower!
606
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,796
Twoflower!
607
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,159
Twoflower!
608
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,872
''Pit of Ultimate Despair.''
609
00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:27,390
''Dread Tower of Darkness.''
610
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,515
Hmm.
611
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,431
''Traveller.
612
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:42,311
''The Hospitable Temple
of Bel-Shamharoth
613
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,197
''lies a thousand paces hubwards.''
614
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:50,835
Hubwards.
615
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:54,549
Huh.
616
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:01,910
''The Wyrmberg and Palace
of the Dragon Lord
617
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,117
''lies a thousand paces rimwards.''
618
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,676
Huh. Dragons.
619
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,154
l always wanted to see dragons.
620
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,714
(WOLVES HOWLlNG)
621
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:15,869
(HORSE NElGHS )
622
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,439
Dragons it is.
623
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:19,794
Rincewind?
624
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:28,395
(RlNCEWlND WHlMPERS )
625
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,199
DEATH: Your lifetime is up, Rincewind.
626
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,236
l can't hang around all day.
627
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:34,355
l can.
628
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,591
What have you done with the tourist?
629
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,318
DEATH: Nothing.
630
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,956
He was lured by the attraction
of the Wyrmberg.
631
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,598
Oh, so at least the Patrician
632
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,638
won't be sending out his men
to kill me just yet, then, eh?
633
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:52,748
There is a distinct possibility
that he may not need to.
634
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,308
(HlSSlNG)
635
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:58,389
(WHlMPERlNG)
636
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,236
What are you grinning at? Huh?
637
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,278
Oh, l'm sorry, l can't help it.
638
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:09,399
Now, would you be so kind as to let go?
639
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,434
lt won't hurt.
640
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,918
Getting torn to pieces by wolves
won't hurt?
641
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,638
lt will be over very quickly.
642
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,510
And, of course, they are
an endangered species.
643
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:20,589
RlNCEWlND: Oh, good!
644
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,118
(GRUNTlNG)
645
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,638
(SCREAMlNG)
646
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,312
SPELL: Ashoni!
647
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:39,432
Who are you?
648
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,149
Oh, no!
649
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:43,229
(GRUNTS )
650
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,355
(WOLVES WHlMPERlNG)
651
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:45,915
RlNCEWlND: Oh, you!
652
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,036
Oh, dear. l wonder
if it was something l said.
653
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,038
(GROANlNG)
654
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,200
Don't think l owe you a debt of gratitude.
655
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,315
(LUGGAGE SOUEAKlNG)
656
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:03,960
One of the consolations
of being eaten by wolves
657
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,759
was the fact that
l would never have to have
658
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,116
a near-death experience again,
thanks to your owner!
659
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,351
TWOFLOWER: 737, 738, 739....
660
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:14,793
Dragons.
661
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:18,077
Dragons. 741, 742, 743...
662
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:21,195
(CHUCKLlNG) Dragons?
663
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:22,269
(SCOFFS )
664
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,749
Nobody believes in them any more.
665
00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:44,709
Ha !
666
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,478
(CREAKlNG)
667
00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:36,679
(CREAKlNG)
668
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:42,915
(GASPS )
669
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:44,673
(CHUCKLES )
670
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,869
l never really wanted
to be Arch Chancellor anyway,
671
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:51,996
so if you're here for...
672
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:55,072
For the Octavo, Mr Spold.
673
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:58,915
You're not here to...
674
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,554
What about the Octavo?
675
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:04,189
lt's rather
676
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:05,589
troubled
677
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:07,114
at the moment.
678
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,791
And it seems that you
might be able to tell me why.
679
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,995
(CHUCKLES ) Well...
680
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,152
lt's not all there, you know.
681
00:46:17,720 --> 00:46:19,392
As in, mad?
682
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:25,110
As in, one spell short of eight.
683
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,911
One of the eight spells is missing?
684
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,638
Well, that's rather badly organised.
685
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,231
Certainly extremely dangerous.
686
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,396
So, where is it now?
687
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:50,078
Do think very carefully, Mr Spold.
688
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:55,593
l really wish l did know,
689
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,276
-Mr Trymon.
-Hmm.
690
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,072
(CLANGlNG)
691
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,714
(HlSSlNG) Try breathing through this!
692
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,312
(SNORlNG)
693
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:01,509
(FlZZLES )
694
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:05,036
DEATH: Dark in here, isn't it?
695
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:06,872
(SPOLD GASPlNG)
696
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:24,073
Fire's gone out.
697
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:27,668
(SlGHS )
698
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:33,039
(SlGHS )
699
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,430
(RlNCEWlND GRUMBLlNG SOFTLY)
700
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,430
Rincewind! Attaboy!
And you've brought the luggage.
701
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,550
No, it brought me.
702
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,039
(GROANS )
703
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,079
(LUGGAGE SOUEAKS )
704
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,597
lt's amazing, isn't it?
705
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,478
Yes, if you like the physically impossible.
706
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:42,235
Well, l think it's just amazing.
Bit underpopulated, though.
707
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,752
Listen, do you think it could be
the home of the dragons?
708
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:51,152
-Don't be ridiculous! Dragons don't exist.
-All my life, l've wanted to see dragons.
709
00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:52,309
(ROARlNG)
710
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:53,389
Huh?
711
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,635
(LOUD ROARlNG)
712
00:49:56,720 --> 00:49:58,039
(HORSE NElGHlNG)
713
00:49:58,200 --> 00:49:59,189
Whoa !
714
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:00,993
l think that we could...
715
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:04,555
(EX CLAlMS )
716
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,119
(ROARlNG)
717
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:09,033
(WlNGS FLAPPlNG)
718
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,998
l don't believe in them ! They don't exist!
719
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:18,955
(SCREAMS )
720
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:20,433
(THUDDlNG)
721
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:24,835
(GROANS )
722
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:26,990
SWORD: Psst. Psst!
723
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:28,593
(GROANlNG)
724
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:32,559
-Psst!
-No, just dazed, actually.
725
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:35,153
Who said that?
726
00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:38,516
Well, don't just lie there, pull me out!
727
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:39,635
What?
728
00:50:39,720 --> 00:50:41,392
Come on, come on, pull me out.
729
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,395
You... You spoke!
730
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,675
(lNDlGNANTLY) l'm a magic sword.
731
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:50,158
(HESlTANTLY) You weren't
born with a mysterious birth mark
732
00:50:50,240 --> 00:50:52,231
-in the shape of a crown, were you?
-Um, no.
733
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:53,992
No? Oh, just asking.
734
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:56,116
Were you with the other fellow?
735
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:57,235
Might have been.
736
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,595
(NONCHALANTLY) lt's just
the, uh, dragons got him,
737
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,911
and so l expect you'll be in a hurry
to slay the dragons
738
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,515
and rescue him
in a fantastic feat of derring-do!
739
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,875
No, not really, no.
740
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:10,279
Come on!
741
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:13,999
-Come on!
-Mmm?
742
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,670
Right, take a firm grip.
743
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:22,716
Ooh, that's good. That's good.
744
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:27,117
Could be worse.
This could have been an anvil.
745
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:28,629
(SNORTS )
746
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:30,195
(SCREAMS )
747
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:31,838
SWORD: Finally!
748
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,232
SWORD: The dragon's headed hubwards!
749
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:42,715
(PANTlNG) Even if they did exist,
l'm not cut out for dragons.
750
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:44,199
Nothing to it.
751
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:45,349
l'll show you!
752
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:46,429
(RlNCEWlND YELPS )
753
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,836
(EX CLAlMlNG)
754
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,679
Right, l suggest we start
with the one in the trees.
755
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:53,234
-Over there.
-Oh!
756
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,792
SWORD: No, you don't.
757
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,518
(LEAVES RUSTLlNG)
758
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:04,798
(WlNGS FLAPPlNG)
759
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,270
You see? There's nothing there.
760
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:16,390
Oh. Well, you can start
with her instead. Okay?
761
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:21,197
-(lNSlSTENTLY) Okay?
-l don't know how to be a hero!
762
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:22,998
SWORD: (DlSDAlNFULLY) No, obviously.
763
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:26,868
But l propose to teach you.
Look, l'll be frank,
764
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,430
l've worked with far better material
than you, but it's either that
765
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:32,713
or l'll chop your head off!
766
00:52:33,240 --> 00:52:35,674
(RlNCEWlND GRUNTlNG)
767
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,195
-l mean it.
-(TlTTERlNG) All right, all right.
768
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:44,188
Good boy.
769
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,877
(AlR HlSSlNG)
770
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:14,110
WEATHERWAX: There's an ambitious
wizard on the loose.
771
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:18,079
l think a certain degree of vigilance
would be in order.
772
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,590
Especially if he's talked to Trymon.
773
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:32,359
-RlNCEWlND: Any suggestions?
-(GROANS ) Well, obviously, you attack.
774
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,877
RlNCEWlND: (CHUCKLlNG) Oh!
Why didn't l think of that?
775
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:38,712
Because you're a defeatist.
776
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,317
SWORD: On your marks,
777
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:43,394
get set,
778
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:45,315
go!
779
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:48,437
(SWORD LAUGHlNG) Got you! And again!
780
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:49,555
(LlESSA GRUNTlNG)
781
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,232
(SWORD LAUGHlNG DEFlANTLY)
782
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,115
(SWORD TAUNTlNG)
783
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:55,555
(LlESSA'S SWORD CLATTERS )
784
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:56,709
SWORD: Ha, ha !
785
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,793
SWORD: Did l ever tell you about the time
l was thrown into a lake?
786
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:01,915
(SCREAMS )
787
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,355
SWORD: Let's have a look at you, madam !
788
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:06,992
Where is the tourist?
789
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:09,514
He's been taken back to the Wyrmberg.
790
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:11,993
What is this Wyrmberg?
791
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:15,390
The Wyrmberg. lt is dragon home.
792
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,158
They don't exist.
793
00:54:19,240 --> 00:54:22,038
But l suppose you'll be wanting
to rescue your friend.
794
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:23,749
SWORD: My point precisely.
795
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,556
He's not my friend.
796
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:31,077
But l suppose you'd better take me
to this Wyrmberg of yours.
797
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:33,589
There. Listen.
798
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:35,149
(WlNGS FLAPPlNG)
799
00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:36,878
(ROARlNG)
800
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:38,473
(APPROACHlNG STEADlLY)
801
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,318
(RlNCEWlND SCREAMlNG)
802
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,551
RlNCEWlND: l didn't... l didn't know
dragons were see-through!
803
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:46,596
-LlESSA: Didn't you?
-No!
804
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,471
(RlNCEWlND EX CLAlMlNG)
805
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,833
Then watch him
as we get closer to the Wyrmberg.
806
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:55,753
RlNCEWlND: Oh, no!
807
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:04,476
That, at least, is very marginally better.
808
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:29,559
(ROARlNG)
809
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,996
LlESSA: Jump now.
RlNCEWlND: What?
810
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:42,748
(EX CLAlMS )
811
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:44,799
Surrender.
812
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:48,032
-SWORD: Never!
-Um...
813
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:49,348
(STUTTERlNG) Uh, never.
814
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:52,671
Of course not. He's a hero, isn't he?
815
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:53,909
SWORD: l taught him myself.
816
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:02,271
And what is your name, hero...
817
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:07,431
-Um...
-...so that we know who you were?
818
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:08,509
My name
819
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,670
(GASPlNG) is
820
00:56:11,720 --> 00:56:13,631
Rincewind of Ankh.
821
00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:16,632
And l am Liessa Dragonlady.
822
00:56:16,720 --> 00:56:19,359
You are to challenge me in mortal combat.
823
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:20,475
Mmm?
824
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:22,232
No! No, l can't.
825
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:23,514
You are mistaken.
826
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:29,593
Liort, help our hero
into a pair of hog boots.
827
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,360
l'm sure he is anxious to get started.
828
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:34,919
(GRUNTlNG) No, really!
829
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:37,036
(EX CLAlMlNG)
830
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:41,913
lf you are looking after my...
831
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,389
LlESSA: You will see
your friend soon enough.
832
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,835
lf you are religious, l mean.
833
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:51,357
None who enter the Wyrmberg
ever leave again.
834
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,510
Except metaphorically speaking, of course.
835
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:03,589
(DOOR SLAMS )
836
00:57:07,240 --> 00:57:09,515
WEATHERWAX: Oh! Mr Trymon.
837
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:12,398
Good day, Arch Chancellor.
838
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:13,515
WEATHERWAX: Ooh!
839
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:17,234
New new shoes and hat, huh?
840
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:18,355
(CHUCKLES )
841
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:20,317
Well, you came to see me.
842
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:25,394
Yes. l've taken the liberty
of doing a little research.
843
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:27,994
Ah, about the Octavo, perhaps?
844
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:29,115
(CHUCKLES ) Yes.
845
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:30,189
(WEATHERWAX CHUCKLES )
846
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:34,478
lt appears that one
of the great spells is missing.
847
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:35,879
Ah!
848
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:39,794
And you were wondering,
purely for administrative purposes,
849
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:41,393
where it might have got to.
850
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:42,913
(CHUCKLES ) Well, yes.
851
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:45,996
Do you know, Arch Chancellor?
852
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:49,789
(CHUCKLES ) Well, if l did,
853
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,199
(WHlSPERlNG) l think l've forgotten.
854
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,952
Ah! Oh.
855
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,990
Oh! Old Spold did.
856
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:01,396
Oh, no. No. Too late. He's already
857
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,989
popped his pointy shoes, hasn't he?
858
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:05,998
You know,
he always had difficulty breathing,
859
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:09,550
even before he managed to seal himself
860
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:11,678
in his own room
861
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:13,679
from the outside.
862
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:18,919
Yes. Great shame about Spold.
863
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:23,829
(SPRlNG RELEASES )
864
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:24,909
(WEATHERWAX GROANS )
865
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:37,398
Just clouds.
866
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:43,554
Well, l expect this is all some sort
of a misunderstanding.
867
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:47,474
l expect they'll release me soon.
They seem rather civilised.
868
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,117
And when l get back,
869
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:54,272
l can tell people that l saw dragons.
870
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,830
lmagine that.
871
00:58:57,920 --> 00:58:59,512
(CHUCKLES )
872
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,028
(SlGHS )
873
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:05,631
Dragons.
874
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:11,989
(DRAGON ROARS )
875
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:13,155
(SCREAMS )
876
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,675
(GASPlNG)
877
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:25,389
DRAGON: l obey, Lord.
878
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:28,519
Obey?
879
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,714
Of course, Lord.
880
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:35,072
Open it?
881
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,639
(DRAWlNG lN BREATH)
882
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:48,469
(BARS CLATTERlNG)
883
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:51,395
Huh!
884
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:52,469
(CHUCKLlNG)
885
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,396
Arch Chancellor?
886
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:11,394
(DOOR CLOSES )
887
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,236
Arch Chancellor?
888
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:20,595
Such a great shame.
889
01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:22,319
Um... About?
890
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:28,354
Spold, you mean? Yes.
891
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:31,513
-ls that all, Trymon?
-Yes, Arch Chancellor.
892
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,875
Very good. Oh, Trymon,
893
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:37,919
as you leave, could you tidy
the sprung heavy-axe device
894
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,231
some prankster student
has rigged above my door?
895
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:42,309
Seems to have
896
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:44,474
(WHlSPERlNG) malfunctioned.
897
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:49,511
l shall have it seen to, Arch Chancellor.
898
01:00:51,760 --> 01:00:52,749
(GRUMBLES )
899
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:58,192
Oh, and l do hope Spold's shoes
are not too small for you.
900
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:00,596
(TRYMON CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
901
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:11,119
(CHUCKLlNG)
902
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,513
We fight to the death.
903
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:27,589
(RlNCEWlND GROANS )
904
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:28,715
Yours.
905
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:29,789
RlNCEWlND: Ah!
906
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:35,190
l suppose l ought to warn you
that l have a magic sword.
907
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:38,755
-SWORD: That's me!
-What a coincidence.
908
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:41,393
LlESSA'S SWORD: Hello!
909
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,353
(COVETOUSLY) Hello!
910
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:44,793
Oh, no.
911
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:46,154
SWORD: Prepare to be defeated.
912
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:47,229
LlESSA'S SWORD: l don't think so.
913
01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:48,514
SWORD: l've seen sharper butter knives.
914
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:49,589
LlESSA'S SWORD: (lNDlGNANTLY) Huh!
915
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:51,352
(SWORDS GRUNTlNG)
916
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:02,789
SWORD: Going well, isn't it?
917
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,477
(SWORDS EX CLAlMlNG)
918
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:10,034
SWORD: (GRUNTlNG) Call yourself
a magic sword? Pah!
919
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:11,189
LlESSA'S SWORD: Yeah, l do, actually.
920
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:12,269
(GRUNTS )
921
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:13,475
(RlNCEWlND SCREAMS )
922
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:15,073
(LlESSA'S SWORD LAUGHS )
923
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:16,832
(SWORDS GRUNTlNG)
924
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:18,956
(RlNCEWlND SCREAMlNG)
925
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:20,439
SWORD: Hang on, Rincewind, hang on.
926
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:23,557
Let go, damn you, or we'll both die.
927
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:25,517
That's easy for you to say.
928
01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:26,589
Ah!
929
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:29,873
SPELL: Why don't you say me?
What have you got to Iose?
930
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:33,918
ls that you?
931
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,433
(GRUNTlNG)
932
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:38,956
Does that mean that l'm gonna die?
933
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:40,632
LlESSA: Let go!
934
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:48,753
You're a fine-looking dragon,
by the way, even if you did just turn up.
935
01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:52,518
You summoned me, Master.
936
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:55,273
You have the power.
937
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:58,909
You mean, l just thought of you
and there you were?
938
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,479
Yes.
939
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:03,750
But l've thought of dragons all my life.
940
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:06,513
The power only works near the Wyrmberg.
941
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:11,628
As the dragons fly further away,
we begin to dwindle and fade.
942
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:15,395
All Dragonlords have the power,
943
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:17,789
as, of course, does the Dragonlady Liessa,
944
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:19,359
who, incidentally,
945
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:22,034
is trying to hack your friend to pieces
as we speak.
946
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:23,155
What?
947
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:24,349
Shoot him !
948
01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:28,913
(SCREAMlNG)
949
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:31,318
(SCREECHlNG)
950
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:34,789
-SPELL (WHISPERING) Ashoni.
-Ashoni!
951
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:40,275
-Ebriate.
-Ebriate!
952
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:42,396
(SCREAMlNG)
953
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:44,115
(GROANlNG)
954
01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:51,718
Oh, no, not you!
955
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,795
(TWOFLOWER WHOOPlNG)
956
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:07,915
Whoo! How was that?
You all right? What's the matter?
957
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,432
Aren't you scared of heights?
958
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:11,873
No, why should l be?
959
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:15,316
You're just as dead if you fall
from 40 feet as from 4,000 fathoms,
960
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:16,799
that's what l say.
961
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:19,269
lt's not the actual falling,
962
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:22,158
it's more the hitting that worries me.
963
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:26,074
Do you think dragons
can fly all the way to the stars?
964
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:28,116
Because now that would be something.
965
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:29,474
l think you might be mad.
966
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:30,549
(GROANlNG)
967
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:31,629
(LAUGHS )
968
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:33,113
That's where we camped. Oh!
969
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:34,792
SWORD: But, l didn't tell you
about the time...
970
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:37,155
(WEAKLY) Oh, the sword.
971
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:38,559
-You all right?
-Oh, yeah.
972
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:39,629
(GlGGLES )
973
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:41,749
Come on, now!
974
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:43,159
(URGES DRAGON ON)
975
01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:48,516
SWORD: Hello! Magic sword here!
976
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:50,834
lf anyone can hear me out there,
977
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:53,070
what l could do with right now
is someone who doesn't realise
978
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,276
they're an orphan
born in mysterious circumstances.
979
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:56,349
Ow!
980
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:00,271
RlNCEWlND: Are you all right?
981
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:02,635
(TWOFLOWER GROANlNG)
982
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,788
What's happening to the air?
983
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:10,197
The sky just flew by!
984
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:14,315
(SCREAMlNG)
985
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:19,556
Dragons! Dragons. Think of dragons. Yes.
986
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:23,239
Think of dragons! Dragon!
987
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:26,234
Dragon! Dragon!
988
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:27,469
Dragon!
989
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:32,429
lt won't work.
You don't really believe in them.
990
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:35,872
RlNCEWlND: Dragons!
991
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:38,399
(SCREAMlNG)
992
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:49,429
NARRA TOR: MeanwhiIe,
at the very edge of the worId,
993
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:52,830
the KruIIians have not given up
on their quest
994
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:56,151
to determine the sex of the turtIe.
995
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:08,393
Are the chelonauts ready,
launch controller?
996
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:10,152
lndeed, Arch Astronomer.
997
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,754
How long to the doorway?
998
01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:15,752
(HESlTANTLY) The launch window,
Your Prominence.
999
01:06:18,360 --> 01:06:22,035
Twelve hours, when Great A'Tuin's tail
will be in an unmatched position
1000
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:24,509
to determine its sex.
1001
01:06:25,240 --> 01:06:30,758
Then all that remains is to find
an appropriate couple of sacrifices.
1002
01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:33,598
The ocean shall provide.
1003
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:37,069
ARCH ASTRONOMER: It aIways does.
1004
01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:44,470
Look at the horizon.
1005
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:45,993
lt's all right.
1006
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:52,115
TWOFLOWER: Admittedly, there seems
to be a lot less than there usually is.
1007
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:54,839
RlNCEWlND: We're being carried
over the edge!
1008
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:57,396
(RlNCEWlND GROANlNG)
1009
01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:09,034
We're going to run out of world!
1010
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:11,475
We are? l absolutely have to see that!
1011
01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:21,274
RlNCEWlND: (SCREAMlNG) Help!
1012
01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:25,073
Rincewind!
1013
01:07:25,160 --> 01:07:26,718
Rincewind!
1014
01:07:27,280 --> 01:07:28,759
(RlNCEWlND SCREAMlNG)
1015
01:07:35,240 --> 01:07:36,229
(GASPlNG)
1016
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:45,389
Don't mind me. l've got a book to read.
1017
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:48,600
l don't want to leave this world!
1018
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:57,076
NARRA TOR: A prospect
immenseIy troubIing to the Octavo.
1019
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:58,149
(SCREECHlNG)
1020
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:02,438
-Ah!
-Oh.
1021
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:04,519
lt's you.
1022
01:08:08,480 --> 01:08:10,675
l just came to see
Arch Chancellor Weatherwax.
1023
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:13,314
Do you have an appointment?
1024
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:15,630
l've never needed an appointment before.
1025
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:19,156
Well, the Arch Chancellor's
never been organised before.
1026
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:20,559
-lt's just...
-Look,
1027
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:26,229
the Arch Chancellor
is going to have been very ill, quite soon,
1028
01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:28,436
and mustn't be disturbed.
1029
01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:30,238
(SNORlNG)
1030
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:46,350
(SNlFFlNG) Can you smell burning?
1031
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:51,231
(SNlFFlNG)
1032
01:08:55,120 --> 01:08:57,634
Have l been smoking in my sleep?
1033
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:01,508
Huh!
1034
01:09:02,240 --> 01:09:04,595
l could have sworn
l was wearing my shoes.
1035
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,309
Why don't you come with me instead?
1036
01:09:09,880 --> 01:09:13,236
There's something l know
you really want to show me.
1037
01:09:21,680 --> 01:09:22,669
Trymon.
1038
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:24,309
Oh, dear.
1039
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:25,789
(CLANGS )
1040
01:09:30,520 --> 01:09:31,873
(GROWLlNG)
1041
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:41,672
HEAD LlBRARlAN: You'd better not
monkey around with it,
1042
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:43,716
or who knows what'll happen?
1043
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,075
The last person who went near it...
1044
01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:48,309
Yes?
1045
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:50,711
Well, it was a long time ago.
1046
01:09:52,440 --> 01:09:57,116
All l'm saying is,
he never passed any exams after.
1047
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:00,998
(CHUCKLlNG)
1048
01:10:02,520 --> 01:10:03,748
Ah!
1049
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:10,311
As a matter of interest, after the last time,
1050
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:14,552
what exactly did they do to Rincewind?
1051
01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:18,120
l never said anything about Rincewind.
1052
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:22,751
Rincewind? Did l say Rincewind?
1053
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:27,118
l meant whichever
perpetual student wizard it was
1054
01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:29,589
who monkeyed around with the Octavo.
1055
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:32,154
Rincewind.
1056
01:10:32,240 --> 01:10:33,639
(GROWLlNG)
1057
01:10:34,960 --> 01:10:36,393
So,
1058
01:10:36,480 --> 01:10:39,790
when the spell left the Octavo,
1059
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:44,032
where, exactly, did it go?
1060
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:46,111
(OCTAVO GROWLlNG)
1061
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:55,468
Get off, will you?
1062
01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:57,232
Are you saying you want me to stop?
1063
01:10:57,320 --> 01:11:00,790
-Yes! Stop, will you?
-Stop saving your life?
1064
01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:02,598
lt's actually twice, now.
1065
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,671
Oh, thank you.
1066
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:07,874
Say again?
1067
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:10,428
l said, thank you!
1068
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:14,389
Ah!
1069
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:19,278
Stop that! Will you stop that?
Look, a polite shake of the hand,
1070
01:11:20,640 --> 01:11:25,191
having first checked
for poison needles in the palm,
1071
01:11:25,280 --> 01:11:29,717
in that old, quaint,
Ankh-Morporkean tradition,
1072
01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:31,552
would be sufficient!
1073
01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:32,749
(GRUNTS )
1074
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:36,633
l'm on the edge of the world,
1075
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:40,673
seeing things that most people
can only dream of,
1076
01:11:42,320 --> 01:11:46,871
on an adventure with visions and wonders
unimaginable in one lifetime.
1077
01:11:49,640 --> 01:11:51,153
lt's all thanks to you, Rincewind.
1078
01:11:54,520 --> 01:11:57,080
You forgot the near-death experiences.
1079
01:11:57,160 --> 01:12:01,153
Well, l like to think of them
as edge-of-life ones.
1080
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:05,950
With the best guide a little old
in-sur-ance clerk from Bes Pelargic
1081
01:12:06,040 --> 01:12:07,792
could ever hope for.
1082
01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:22,875
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
1083
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:27,151
Well, l would have been fine, of course.
1084
01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:31,398
Even falling from the Wyrmberg.
1085
01:12:31,480 --> 01:12:36,634
Because to stop falling
to certain death is only a
1086
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,073
level-two spell.
1087
01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:44,911
Actually, l was sort of hoping
that you could do some...
1088
01:12:46,360 --> 01:12:47,395
You know.
1089
01:12:48,120 --> 01:12:49,553
What, magic?
1090
01:12:52,320 --> 01:12:54,038
Like what?
1091
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:55,109
Um...
1092
01:12:55,280 --> 01:12:58,829
ln a fight,
you could turn people into worms.
1093
01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:00,239
Ah. No, no, no.
1094
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:04,438
Turning people into animals
is an eighth-level spell.
1095
01:13:07,480 --> 01:13:08,549
Oh.
1096
01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:24,514
Look...
1097
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:29,875
The thing is, l never really
completed my training.
1098
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,509
l only know one spell.
1099
01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:41,359
And even that l got by accident.
1100
01:13:42,440 --> 01:13:43,839
What does it do?
1101
01:13:45,960 --> 01:13:50,238
Well, l don't know.
l suppose it could do anything.
1102
01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:55,270
But it's from the greatest spell book of all,
1103
01:13:56,600 --> 01:13:58,750
the Octavo.
1104
01:13:58,840 --> 01:14:01,229
The Octavo? Well,
1105
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:06,159
how did you learn it?
1106
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:10,475
When l was a much younger student
at the University,
1107
01:14:11,480 --> 01:14:15,268
l agreed to open the Octavo for a bet.
1108
01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:18,835
Pint of beer, l think it was.
1109
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:22,474
RINCEWIND: It was as if
it was waiting for me.
1110
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:35,679
I onIy had a second
before the speII Ieapt from the book
1111
01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:38,911
and settIed in my memory
Iike a toad in a stone.
1112
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:48,953
Well, then what happened?
1113
01:14:49,040 --> 01:14:52,316
Well, they dragged me out
and thrashed me, of course.
1114
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:55,351
Never did get the pint of beer.
1115
01:14:57,320 --> 01:14:59,675
Well, what did the spell say, exactly?
1116
01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:02,069
lt had vanished from the page,
1117
01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:05,473
so nobody will know what it says
until l say it.
1118
01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:11,680
Or until l die, of course,
and then it'll sort of say itself.
1119
01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:13,989
And nobody knows...
1120
01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:15,593
-what it does?
-TRYMON: ...what it does?
1121
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:21,035
To know that, you would need
to be Arch Chancellor.
1122
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:24,518
TRYMON: Now you tell me!
1123
01:15:37,800 --> 01:15:40,189
Why didn't we go over the edge?
1124
01:15:41,680 --> 01:15:44,069
Because our log hit that rope.
1125
01:15:45,760 --> 01:15:49,548
l think it's called the Circumfence.
lt runs around the edge of the world.
1126
01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:52,471
No, no, you mean the circumference.
1127
01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:55,757
The circumference goes round
the edge of things.
1128
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:58,790
So does the Circumfence.
1129
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:11,799
TWOFLOWER: l suppose that's the Rimbow.
1130
01:16:14,280 --> 01:16:15,952
lt's just so beautiful.
1131
01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:23,233
Great. lt's a nice view before we die.
1132
01:16:26,520 --> 01:16:28,750
RlNCEWlND: Do you see the eighth colour?
1133
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:33,589
That's the colour of magic.
1134
01:16:42,920 --> 01:16:45,832
Bet you there are a lot
of other worlds down there.
1135
01:16:45,920 --> 01:16:49,549
Yes, quite a number. Look, there's one.
1136
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:54,673
Oh. Hey, that star's new.
Perhaps we should name it.
1137
01:16:54,760 --> 01:16:57,320
What's the point? Who will we tell?
1138
01:16:58,560 --> 01:17:00,710
We're never gonna get off this rock.
1139
01:17:00,800 --> 01:17:02,518
Unless we get in the boat.
1140
01:17:02,600 --> 01:17:04,670
Well, unless we get in the... What boat?
1141
01:17:06,280 --> 01:17:07,793
That boat.
1142
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:13,158
Course, l could stay here forever. l mean...
1143
01:17:13,960 --> 01:17:17,236
On balance, l know
l should be very suspicious of that boat,
1144
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:21,029
but l do like the idea
of getting back to dry land.
1145
01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:22,758
(MUMBLlNG UNCERTAlNLY)
1146
01:17:23,120 --> 01:17:24,348
Are you sure?
1147
01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:31,638
l'm sure.
1148
01:17:33,640 --> 01:17:34,629
(SlGHS )
1149
01:18:02,080 --> 01:18:03,559
Look.
1150
01:18:09,960 --> 01:18:11,757
RlNCEWlND: Civilisation.
1151
01:18:12,200 --> 01:18:15,556
(CLANGlNG)
1152
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:16,868
(CHUCKLES )
1153
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:19,918
Lovely to see you're still here,
Arch Chancellor.
1154
01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:23,709
Do you know what happens
when a wizard dies?
1155
01:18:23,800 --> 01:18:28,555
All the spells that he has memorised
say themselves.
1156
01:18:28,640 --> 01:18:30,358
lt's one of the first things we learn.
1157
01:18:30,440 --> 01:18:33,591
Mmm. lt's not quite true
with the eight great spells.
1158
01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:36,114
A great spell will simply find refuge
1159
01:18:36,200 --> 01:18:39,715
in the nearest mind
ready and open to receive it.
1160
01:18:39,800 --> 01:18:40,789
Hmm.
1161
01:18:40,880 --> 01:18:45,476
(SPEAKlNG FORElGN LANGUAGE)
1162
01:18:59,520 --> 01:19:01,033
There you are.
1163
01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:16,114
You are going to recapture
the spell from its host?
1164
01:19:16,200 --> 01:19:20,512
Allow for wind speed, say, three knots.
1165
01:19:20,600 --> 01:19:22,670
Adjust for temperature.
1166
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:29,671
There. Of course, it'll take a while
1167
01:19:29,760 --> 01:19:32,035
to get there and kill Rincewind.
1168
01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:36,955
Then the spell will immediately
return along the ionised path,
1169
01:19:37,040 --> 01:19:39,031
back here, to me.
1170
01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:41,957
Remarkable.
1171
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:47,149
lf, dare l say, a little old-fashioned.
1172
01:19:48,320 --> 01:19:53,155
But it's what happens
when all eight spells are spoken together
1173
01:19:53,240 --> 01:19:56,869
that might interest a wizard,
now, is it not?
1174
01:19:56,960 --> 01:19:59,838
Especially when they aspire
1175
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:02,352
to wear the biggest shoes of all.
1176
01:20:02,440 --> 01:20:05,512
Oh, becoming your second
1177
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:09,070
has always been the limit of my ambition.
1178
01:20:09,160 --> 01:20:10,275
Yes, of course it has.
1179
01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:13,592
l wish only to acquire knowledge, Master.
1180
01:20:15,080 --> 01:20:19,392
Which, as we know, is power.
1181
01:20:19,480 --> 01:20:24,554
And so, for the furtherance
of my knowledge, Master,
1182
01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:28,031
when the eight spells are said together...
1183
01:20:28,120 --> 01:20:31,430
(LAUGHS ) Oh, to receive
that ultimate nugget,
1184
01:20:31,520 --> 01:20:33,909
you'll have to do much better
than that, young man.
1185
01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:35,399
(CHUCKLES )
1186
01:20:35,480 --> 01:20:38,358
Oh, l congratulate you, Master.
1187
01:20:38,440 --> 01:20:41,238
l can see that we must all get up
very early in the morning
1188
01:20:41,320 --> 01:20:42,639
if we are to get the better of you!
1189
01:20:42,720 --> 01:20:46,030
(CHUCKLES ) Early in the morning?
My dear lad,
1190
01:20:46,240 --> 01:20:48,117
you'll have to stay up all night.
1191
01:20:48,200 --> 01:20:49,235
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1192
01:20:49,320 --> 01:20:50,719
Come.
1193
01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:55,556
Galder. lt's the Octavo.
1194
01:20:56,680 --> 01:20:57,749
lt's going
1195
01:20:58,560 --> 01:20:59,549
really ape.
1196
01:20:59,720 --> 01:21:01,711
(DlSTANT GROWLlNG)
1197
01:21:02,160 --> 01:21:05,835
(SNARLlNG)
1198
01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:08,191
(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTER)
1199
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:11,317
Right. What's going on here?
1200
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:16,077
HEAD LlBRARlAN:
Why are the spells so restless?
1201
01:21:18,360 --> 01:21:19,588
-The key.
-Oh!
1202
01:21:32,200 --> 01:21:33,189
(OCTAVO SCREECHlNG)
1203
01:21:33,280 --> 01:21:34,315
Oh!
1204
01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:42,948
(ROARlNG)
1205
01:21:54,520 --> 01:21:57,034
TWOFLOWER: So, back in civilisation.
1206
01:21:58,440 --> 01:22:00,874
Yes, it looks like civilisation to me.
1207
01:22:01,720 --> 01:22:05,759
Welcome to Krull. My name is Marchessa.
1208
01:22:07,600 --> 01:22:10,194
l hope you're not proposing to enslave us.
1209
01:22:10,280 --> 01:22:11,679
Certainly not.
1210
01:22:11,760 --> 01:22:13,034
Oh, good.
1211
01:22:13,120 --> 01:22:14,553
You will, in fact, be sacrificed.
1212
01:22:16,760 --> 01:22:18,990
Thank you for another
fine mess, Twoflower.
1213
01:22:20,560 --> 01:22:22,152
(GRUNTlNG)
1214
01:22:22,400 --> 01:22:23,799
RlNCEWlND: Come on!
1215
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:32,669
(SPLASHES )
1216
01:22:36,040 --> 01:22:37,393
Oh!
1217
01:22:39,360 --> 01:22:43,114
Here we are,
completely trapped in a palace,
1218
01:22:43,200 --> 01:22:47,034
on an island we have no hope of leaving,
1219
01:22:47,120 --> 01:22:49,395
and, what's more, we...
1220
01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:51,069
Eh?
1221
01:23:06,080 --> 01:23:07,638
(RlNCEWlND MOANS )
1222
01:23:10,240 --> 01:23:12,037
TWOFLOWER: Look at all those worlds.
1223
01:23:14,160 --> 01:23:16,355
lt's fantastic.
1224
01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:39,239
TWOFLOWER: Wonder who's
gonna be wearing those suits.
1225
01:23:40,120 --> 01:23:44,079
Someone who isn't going
to be sacrificed, that's who.
1226
01:23:45,720 --> 01:23:47,119
(DOOR OPENlNG)
1227
01:23:47,440 --> 01:23:48,475
(EX CLAlMS )
1228
01:23:51,880 --> 01:23:52,869
(RlNCEWlND EX CLAlMS )
1229
01:23:54,640 --> 01:23:55,629
(TWOFLOWER GRUNTS )
1230
01:23:57,600 --> 01:23:58,635
Ha !
1231
01:23:58,840 --> 01:23:59,829
(WHlMPERS )
1232
01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:03,076
(DRUMS BEATlNG)
1233
01:24:03,160 --> 01:24:04,798
(PEOPLE CHANTlNG)
1234
01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:22,389
(DRUMBEAT STOPS )
1235
01:24:22,480 --> 01:24:28,749
ln the annals of the exploration
of our cosmos,
1236
01:24:29,360 --> 01:24:33,069
many have been the valiant efforts
1237
01:24:33,160 --> 01:24:38,314
of our cosmochelonians
and astrozoologists,
1238
01:24:38,400 --> 01:24:44,430
in their quest for knowledge
of the Great A'Tuin.
1239
01:24:44,720 --> 01:24:46,790
(PEOPLE CHEERlNG)
1240
01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:53,197
TWOFLOWER: (CHUCKLES ) And you said
we had no way of escaping.
1241
01:24:53,280 --> 01:24:55,953
RlNCEWlND: Just keep walking.
They'll never know it's us.
1242
01:24:56,040 --> 01:24:57,029
(LAUGHS )
1243
01:24:57,120 --> 01:24:59,873
But l wasn't expecting an audience.
1244
01:25:00,560 --> 01:25:02,471
(WHlMPERlNG)
1245
01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:07,270
RlNCEWlND: As soon as we get a chance,
we'll make a run for it, okay?
1246
01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:13,038
But never
1247
01:25:13,240 --> 01:25:15,276
has the bravery
1248
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:19,592
of those who laid down their lives before
1249
01:25:19,680 --> 01:25:25,915
in the pursuit of the answer
to the ultimate question of the sex
1250
01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:29,031
of the turtle,
1251
01:25:29,120 --> 01:25:31,429
been more valid
1252
01:25:31,520 --> 01:25:35,195
by those who, today, venture forth
1253
01:25:39,800 --> 01:25:43,190
-to certain death.
-''Depths.''
1254
01:25:45,560 --> 01:25:47,278
Depths!
1255
01:25:47,360 --> 01:25:50,875
These two specially-trained,
1256
01:25:50,960 --> 01:25:54,032
highly-skilled chelonauts
1257
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:57,590
will be honoured
1258
01:25:57,680 --> 01:25:59,910
by the chroniclers of Krull.
1259
01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:02,309
ls there a toilet in this suit?
1260
01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:04,038
l don't think so.
1261
01:26:04,120 --> 01:26:07,157
lt's just that l think l need to boldly go.
1262
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:11,231
l give you heroes,
1263
01:26:11,920 --> 01:26:14,434
not just of Krull,
1264
01:26:14,520 --> 01:26:17,432
but of the galaxy!
1265
01:26:17,520 --> 01:26:19,636
(PEOPLE CHEERlNG)
1266
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:39,714
On the count of three,
we make a run for it, that way.
1267
01:26:45,640 --> 01:26:46,709
l don't think it's them.
1268
01:26:48,160 --> 01:26:50,037
TWOFLOWER: You don't think
anyone's realised, do you?
1269
01:26:51,840 --> 01:26:53,398
Guards! Guards!
1270
01:26:57,200 --> 01:26:59,316
To the top of the ship!
They won't dare shoot at that.
1271
01:27:00,200 --> 01:27:01,633
(ALL CLAMOURlNG)
1272
01:27:01,720 --> 01:27:03,597
l'm not! Not for me. l'm off.
1273
01:27:03,680 --> 01:27:04,669
Ah!
1274
01:27:04,760 --> 01:27:06,079
Perhaps you're right.
1275
01:27:09,200 --> 01:27:12,351
(SCREECHlNG)
1276
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:24,231
(ALL GASPlNG)
1277
01:27:27,360 --> 01:27:28,634
To the library!
1278
01:27:30,040 --> 01:27:31,155
MAN: Ouick!
1279
01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:40,035
(GASPlNG)
1280
01:27:47,760 --> 01:27:49,432
Head Librarian?
1281
01:27:52,120 --> 01:27:54,793
Oooook.
1282
01:27:57,240 --> 01:27:58,753
To the Great Hall!
1283
01:28:14,440 --> 01:28:16,715
l wonder if they're gonna send
the ship over the edge.
1284
01:28:20,400 --> 01:28:21,958
(SHOUTlNG)
1285
01:28:22,040 --> 01:28:23,359
-Follow me!
-This way!
1286
01:28:28,560 --> 01:28:31,757
MAN: Surrender! Stop, now!
1287
01:28:32,320 --> 01:28:35,153
This time, l'm definitely going to die.
1288
01:28:41,160 --> 01:28:43,515
MAN: Surrender! Go, go, go!
1289
01:28:45,160 --> 01:28:49,153
Now, listen, we'll tell them
that we'll damage the thing
1290
01:28:49,240 --> 01:28:51,470
unless they let us go.
1291
01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:55,314
Right? And that's all
we're gonna do, right?
1292
01:28:55,400 --> 01:28:58,870
Yeah, that's it. lt'll lift off now.
1293
01:29:00,120 --> 01:29:01,439
MAN: Stop where you are!
1294
01:29:03,520 --> 01:29:04,953
(HlSSlNG)
1295
01:29:05,040 --> 01:29:06,029
RlNCEWlND: What was that?
1296
01:29:06,120 --> 01:29:07,599
What was what?
1297
01:29:08,280 --> 01:29:09,315
(HlSSlNG)
1298
01:29:09,400 --> 01:29:11,152
l thought l heard something.
1299
01:29:11,240 --> 01:29:12,798
MALE VOICE OVER INTERCOM: TweIve!
1300
01:29:12,880 --> 01:29:14,154
-RlNCEWlND: That's good!
-EIeven!
1301
01:29:14,240 --> 01:29:15,753
Make it look like you're damaging it.
1302
01:29:15,840 --> 01:29:17,068
Ten!
1303
01:29:17,160 --> 01:29:18,513
TWOFLOWER: l think it's stuck.
1304
01:29:18,600 --> 01:29:19,999
-Nine!
-RlNCEWlND: Push it!
1305
01:29:20,080 --> 01:29:21,559
-Nine!
-You're not messing about...
1306
01:29:21,640 --> 01:29:22,755
-Nine!
-...with anything in there, are you?
1307
01:29:22,840 --> 01:29:24,398
-Nine!
-TWOFLOWER: No, of course not.
1308
01:29:24,480 --> 01:29:25,469
-Oh, good.
-Nine!
1309
01:29:25,800 --> 01:29:27,279
(GROWLlNG)
1310
01:29:42,400 --> 01:29:43,753
(GASPS )
1311
01:29:47,200 --> 01:29:49,430
WEATHERWAX:
What is the Octavo doing?
1312
01:30:04,840 --> 01:30:05,955
To the roof!
1313
01:30:14,000 --> 01:30:16,195
WEATHERWAX: To the Tower of Art!
1314
01:30:20,160 --> 01:30:21,639
(ALL PANTlNG)
1315
01:30:25,760 --> 01:30:27,671
MAN 1 : How many steps are there?
1316
01:30:27,760 --> 01:30:29,910
MAN 2: Eight thousand, eight hundred...
1317
01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:32,116
TRYMON: And eighty-eight.
1318
01:30:32,200 --> 01:30:35,237
(ALL GASPlNG)
1319
01:30:36,880 --> 01:30:38,438
TWOFLOWER: Heave!
MALE VOICE: Nine!
1320
01:30:38,520 --> 01:30:41,592
Nine! Nine!
1321
01:30:41,680 --> 01:30:43,159
-RlNCEWlND: What was that?
-Nine!
1322
01:30:43,240 --> 01:30:44,639
-TWOFLOWER: Doesn't seem to want to go!
-Nine!
1323
01:30:44,720 --> 01:30:46,233
-Nine!
-What?
1324
01:30:46,320 --> 01:30:47,992
(CLlCKlNG)
1325
01:30:48,080 --> 01:30:50,275
Nine! Eight!
1326
01:30:50,360 --> 01:30:52,157
-That's it! l fixed it!
-Seven! Six!
1327
01:30:52,240 --> 01:30:54,037
-Fixed what?
-Five!
1328
01:30:54,120 --> 01:30:56,156
-Four! Three!
-We've gotta get off this thing!
1329
01:30:56,240 --> 01:30:57,389
Two!
1330
01:30:57,480 --> 01:30:58,708
One!
1331
01:30:59,800 --> 01:31:01,233
Lift-off!
1332
01:31:04,000 --> 01:31:05,228
(HEAVY THUDDlNG)
1333
01:31:05,840 --> 01:31:06,829
(EX CLAlMS )
1334
01:31:08,840 --> 01:31:09,875
No!
1335
01:31:11,600 --> 01:31:17,232
The stars! Worlds!
The whole damn sky, full of worlds!
1336
01:31:17,320 --> 01:31:20,392
Places no one's ever gonna see, except us!
1337
01:31:20,480 --> 01:31:22,198
(TWOFLOWER WHOOPS )
1338
01:31:31,800 --> 01:31:32,994
Oh!
1339
01:31:33,720 --> 01:31:35,039
(BOTH SCREAM)
1340
01:31:37,800 --> 01:31:39,028
Oh, no!
1341
01:31:53,520 --> 01:31:56,432
(SCREAMlNG)
1342
01:31:56,520 --> 01:31:57,919
No!
1343
01:32:03,920 --> 01:32:05,797
(SCREAMlNG)
1344
01:32:23,400 --> 01:32:25,391
l've not seen that one before.
1345
01:32:26,120 --> 01:32:30,033
l don't know the significance
of the star, but that,
1346
01:32:30,120 --> 01:32:32,634
that mist, is important.
1347
01:32:32,720 --> 01:32:35,154
So, what's happening?
1348
01:32:35,240 --> 01:32:36,468
l fear
1349
01:32:37,800 --> 01:32:40,633
the only way to find out exactly
1350
01:32:40,720 --> 01:32:44,429
is to perform the Rite of AshkEnte.
1351
01:32:47,480 --> 01:32:48,469
(GASPS )
1352
01:32:48,560 --> 01:32:50,198
Thank you, Arch Chancellor.
1353
01:32:51,200 --> 01:32:52,519
(SCREAMS )
1354
01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:55,869
(lNHALES )
1355
01:32:55,960 --> 01:32:56,949
(GRUMBLlNG)
1356
01:33:10,240 --> 01:33:11,275
(GASPS )
1357
01:33:14,360 --> 01:33:15,588
WEATHERWAX: Nice try.
1358
01:33:16,520 --> 01:33:18,750
That mist is a change spell,
1359
01:33:18,840 --> 01:33:21,035
created by the Octavo.
1360
01:33:22,840 --> 01:33:24,478
The whole world is changing.
1361
01:33:24,560 --> 01:33:25,549
(GRUNTlNG)
1362
01:33:34,240 --> 01:33:36,390
-For the better, l think.
-Oh!
1363
01:33:36,480 --> 01:33:39,278
(SCREAMlNG)
1364
01:34:08,080 --> 01:34:09,877
(EX CLAlMS lN WONDER)
1365
01:34:14,480 --> 01:34:15,913
That's so pretty.
1366
01:34:18,160 --> 01:34:19,639
l really should name it.
1367
01:34:20,760 --> 01:34:24,036
(WHEEZlNG)
1368
01:34:28,760 --> 01:34:31,672
Has anybody seen the Arch Chancellor?
1369
01:34:33,880 --> 01:34:35,108
Yes.
1370
01:34:37,640 --> 01:34:39,517
And how can l help you?
1371
01:34:48,680 --> 01:34:52,639
(SCREAMlNG)
1372
01:35:02,960 --> 01:35:05,793
l'll give it a name. ''Goodbye World.''
1373
01:38:00,572 --> 01:38:04,724
NARRA TOR: CurrentIy TwofIower,
the DiscworId's first tourist,
1374
01:38:04,812 --> 01:38:08,725
is rapidIy Ieaving it
in an attempt to escape KruII.
1375
01:38:08,812 --> 01:38:11,770
This attempt has been
1,000 percent successfuI.
1376
01:38:12,572 --> 01:38:17,009
AIthough this means he may aIso be
the Disc's Iast tourist,
1377
01:38:17,092 --> 01:38:19,287
he is enjoying the view.
1378
01:38:21,412 --> 01:38:24,768
MeanwhiIe, some way above TwofIower,
1379
01:38:24,852 --> 01:38:29,164
Rincewind isn't enjoying the view at aII.
1380
01:38:29,892 --> 01:38:36,286
OnIy Great A 'Tuin, the worId turtIe,
knows why it's heading towards the star.
1381
01:38:36,372 --> 01:38:39,728
Those on the Disc are due to find
out in about two days,
1382
01:38:39,812 --> 01:38:41,928
and then they're reaIIy going to worry.
1383
01:38:42,012 --> 01:38:43,843
(GROWLlNG)
1384
01:38:43,932 --> 01:38:48,881
The Octavo, the greatest speII book
of aII, is so worried about aII this
1385
01:38:48,972 --> 01:38:51,850
that it must take action of its own.
1386
01:39:05,812 --> 01:39:07,803
(SCREAMS )
1387
01:39:21,332 --> 01:39:25,450
TWOFLOWER: Oh, great, the ground
is gonna break my fall.
1388
01:39:25,532 --> 01:39:27,523
(SCREAMS )
1389
01:39:44,772 --> 01:39:47,730
(GROANlNG)
1390
01:39:56,052 --> 01:39:59,647
Did l just leave the world,
only to land back on it again?
1391
01:40:00,732 --> 01:40:02,688
SPELLS: Yes, you did.
1392
01:40:04,852 --> 01:40:07,412
(MOANS ) Why? Why, why!
1393
01:40:07,492 --> 01:40:10,529
SPELL 1: We're not going anywhere.
Look at that.
1394
01:40:12,972 --> 01:40:16,408
ls it me or is that getting bigger?
1395
01:40:29,692 --> 01:40:33,605
ls the turtle flying straight
towards it, l ask you?
1396
01:40:35,412 --> 01:40:39,121
Well, wizards say
we always miss the stars.
1397
01:40:39,812 --> 01:40:41,928
But has anyone seen one
get this close before?
1398
01:40:42,012 --> 01:40:43,570
ALL: No!
1399
01:40:44,212 --> 01:40:46,328
Where are the wizards
when we need them?
1400
01:40:46,412 --> 01:40:48,323
(ALL SHOUT)
1401
01:40:49,492 --> 01:40:50,720
Wizards out!
1402
01:40:50,812 --> 01:40:53,610
ALL: Wizards out! Wizards out!
1403
01:40:53,692 --> 01:40:56,286
Wizards out! Wizards out!
1404
01:40:58,772 --> 01:41:02,890
Wizards out! Wizards out! Wizards out!
1405
01:41:02,972 --> 01:41:06,328
(FAlNT CHANTlNG)
Wizards out! Wizards out!
1406
01:41:12,492 --> 01:41:17,202
One small step for a wizard,
into the unseen.
1407
01:41:18,172 --> 01:41:20,732
One giant leap
1408
01:41:20,812 --> 01:41:24,043
for the Unseen University.
1409
01:41:24,332 --> 01:41:31,204
Would the student body please
acknowledge the 305th Arch Chancellor?
1410
01:41:38,052 --> 01:41:43,922
Let it be known that although limited
personnel alterations have been made,
1411
01:41:44,812 --> 01:41:49,328
one or two other significant things
will be changing,
1412
01:41:49,772 --> 01:41:51,763
for the tidier.
1413
01:41:52,212 --> 01:41:56,603
As none of us have received guidance
as to the events of this morning,
1414
01:41:58,172 --> 01:42:01,323
and there seems to be a degree of
1415
01:42:01,812 --> 01:42:08,684
quite unnecessary anxiety
amongst the populous about the star,
1416
01:42:16,132 --> 01:42:22,321
l propose that we perform
the Rite of AshkEnte.
1417
01:42:29,732 --> 01:42:32,326
NARRA TOR: After its own space odyssey,
1418
01:42:32,412 --> 01:42:35,449
many miIes from Ankh-Morpork,
in the Vortex PIains,
1419
01:42:36,012 --> 01:42:39,209
the Luggage has pIans of its own.
1420
01:42:39,532 --> 01:42:46,005
And so, our guest, whose name is legend,
must tell us truly,
1421
01:42:46,092 --> 01:42:50,131
what is it that a man may call
the greatest things in life?
1422
01:42:53,292 --> 01:42:55,965
The crisp horizon.
1423
01:42:56,452 --> 01:42:59,922
The wind in your hair.
A fresh horse underneath you.
1424
01:43:00,012 --> 01:43:03,800
Or is it the sight of your enemy slain?
1425
01:43:04,212 --> 01:43:06,680
The humiliation of his tribe
1426
01:43:07,412 --> 01:43:09,846
and the lamentation of his women?
1427
01:43:09,932 --> 01:43:11,445
(ALL CHUCKLE)
1428
01:43:21,132 --> 01:43:23,441
What you say?
1429
01:43:23,532 --> 01:43:28,845
l said, our guest, whose name is legend,
1430
01:43:28,932 --> 01:43:31,366
-must tell us truly...
-Oh, pish.
1431
01:43:37,692 --> 01:43:40,081
Hot water.
1432
01:43:40,612 --> 01:43:43,365
Good dentistry.
1433
01:43:44,812 --> 01:43:47,849
And soft lavatory paper.
1434
01:43:51,492 --> 01:43:53,289
(CLEARS THROAT)
1435
01:44:03,412 --> 01:44:05,403
(CREAKlNG)
1436
01:44:33,732 --> 01:44:37,566
TRYMON: Hadesire desurps
decorum demonia,
1437
01:44:37,652 --> 01:44:39,563
AshkEnte!
1438
01:44:39,692 --> 01:44:43,685
Rise up, oh,
creature of earth and darkness!
1439
01:44:47,372 --> 01:44:50,205
We do charge thee to abjure from...
1440
01:44:50,292 --> 01:44:53,170
l was at a party, you know.
1441
01:44:55,292 --> 01:45:00,491
lt is said that you can see
both the past and the future.
1442
01:45:00,932 --> 01:45:02,445
Correct.
1443
01:45:02,532 --> 01:45:08,971
Then, perhaps you can tell us.
Why is the red star getting bigger?
1444
01:45:09,052 --> 01:45:12,089
Because the turtle is flying towards it.
1445
01:45:12,412 --> 01:45:13,606
TRYMON: Why?
1446
01:45:13,692 --> 01:45:16,809
For a purpose that has
nothing to do with me.
1447
01:45:17,412 --> 01:45:23,203
Then, perhaps you can tell us
what exactly happened this morning.
1448
01:45:23,652 --> 01:45:28,521
l understand that the Octavo was anxious
not to lose the eighth spell.
1449
01:45:29,252 --> 01:45:30,287
Hold on.
1450
01:45:30,372 --> 01:45:32,681
lt was dropping off the Disc, apparently.
1451
01:45:32,772 --> 01:45:36,526
Hold on. Are we talking about the spell
1452
01:45:37,572 --> 01:45:40,370
that is inside the head of Rincewind?
1453
01:45:41,172 --> 01:45:44,209
That he's been carrying around
all these years? Yes.
1454
01:45:45,852 --> 01:45:47,604
Any idea why?
1455
01:45:47,692 --> 01:45:53,085
All l know is that all the spells
have to be said together at Solstice
1456
01:45:53,892 --> 01:45:56,804
or many worlds will be destroyed.
1457
01:45:57,492 --> 01:46:00,848
-Destroyed?
-lt's an ancient prophecy,
1458
01:46:01,252 --> 01:46:05,643
written on the inner walls
of the Great Pyramid of Tsort.
1459
01:46:05,732 --> 01:46:09,361
Can you tell us where Rincewind is now?
1460
01:46:10,052 --> 01:46:15,649
The Forest of Skund.
Rimwards of the Ramtop Mountains.
1461
01:46:16,412 --> 01:46:19,131
DEA TH: FeeIing very sorry for himseIf.
1462
01:46:19,212 --> 01:46:21,646
Hello? Anybody out there?
1463
01:46:21,732 --> 01:46:23,723
(OWL HOOTS )
1464
01:46:26,132 --> 01:46:28,043
Twoflower?
1465
01:46:32,212 --> 01:46:33,850
Oh.
1466
01:46:34,092 --> 01:46:36,765
Now, may l go?
1467
01:46:37,372 --> 01:46:39,044
Oh. Yes.
1468
01:46:39,132 --> 01:46:40,963
l hope it's a good party.
1469
01:46:41,052 --> 01:46:44,727
l think it might go downhill at midnight.
1470
01:46:44,812 --> 01:46:49,249
-Why?
-That's when they'll be taking my mask off.
1471
01:46:50,772 --> 01:46:52,763
Hmm.
1472
01:47:08,972 --> 01:47:10,883
(GASPS )
1473
01:47:12,852 --> 01:47:14,490
Evening.
1474
01:47:15,012 --> 01:47:18,049
l'm looking for anything we've got
1475
01:47:18,132 --> 01:47:20,168
on the Pyramid of Tsort.
1476
01:47:20,932 --> 01:47:22,729
Ook.
1477
01:47:24,492 --> 01:47:25,527
(GRUNTS )
1478
01:47:25,612 --> 01:47:26,727
TRYMON: Yes.
1479
01:47:26,812 --> 01:47:28,803
(LAUGHS )
1480
01:47:42,492 --> 01:47:44,483
Hmm.
1481
01:47:47,612 --> 01:47:48,886
Ook.
1482
01:47:50,772 --> 01:47:52,808
TRYMON: Ah.
1483
01:47:54,732 --> 01:47:57,326
Thank you.
1484
01:48:10,212 --> 01:48:14,410
''Whoever says all the spells together
1485
01:48:14,492 --> 01:48:17,564
''when the Disc is in danger...''
1486
01:48:19,412 --> 01:48:22,085
Ook. Ook!
1487
01:48:22,172 --> 01:48:25,847
Yes, yes, the star, l know.
1488
01:48:27,252 --> 01:48:30,369
''...will gain ultimate power...''
1489
01:48:30,452 --> 01:48:32,920
Ook. Ook.
1490
01:48:34,172 --> 01:48:36,402
''...to save the world.''
1491
01:48:36,492 --> 01:48:39,165
Yes, and that.
1492
01:48:40,052 --> 01:48:44,409
Now, listen, if you were to ''ook'' this
1493
01:48:44,492 --> 01:48:46,687
to any members of the faculty,
1494
01:48:46,772 --> 01:48:49,332
-you will be disciplined.
-Ook.
1495
01:48:49,852 --> 01:48:54,004
lt's not as if bananas grow on trees.
1496
01:48:59,972 --> 01:49:05,205
As much as it pains me to say this,
Rincewind must not die.
1497
01:49:06,292 --> 01:49:10,490
At least, not until we bring him back here.
1498
01:49:12,732 --> 01:49:15,087
And empty his head.
1499
01:49:21,932 --> 01:49:22,921
(RUSTLlNG)
1500
01:49:31,172 --> 01:49:33,083
TWOFLOWER: Rincewind!
1501
01:49:34,092 --> 01:49:36,925
Go away. Go away.
1502
01:49:37,012 --> 01:49:38,240
TWOFLOWER: Rincewind!
1503
01:49:38,332 --> 01:49:40,527
l'm not listening, l'm not listening.
1504
01:49:40,612 --> 01:49:42,682
TWOFLOWER: lt's me, Twoflower.
1505
01:49:43,532 --> 01:49:47,047
He's dead! And he's inside my head.
1506
01:49:47,932 --> 01:49:48,967
(MOANS )
1507
01:49:49,052 --> 01:49:52,408
Why me? Why me? Why?
1508
01:49:53,212 --> 01:49:55,248
Twoflower?
1509
01:49:56,412 --> 01:49:59,961
lsn't it an amazing thing
that we ended up back on the world?
1510
01:50:01,252 --> 01:50:05,962
l must have done something really bad
to have got stuck with you.
1511
01:50:08,412 --> 01:50:11,324
The turtle must have caught us somehow.
1512
01:50:12,772 --> 01:50:16,811
-Why would it do that?
-l don't know, do l?
1513
01:50:19,132 --> 01:50:20,963
Anyway, where are we?
1514
01:50:26,132 --> 01:50:27,724
Oh!
1515
01:50:29,332 --> 01:50:30,401
(TUTS )
1516
01:50:30,492 --> 01:50:35,520
-Alive or dead?
-Well, since we need him to say the spell,
1517
01:50:35,612 --> 01:50:40,606
in order to save the worlds,
l suspect alive might be better.
1518
01:50:40,692 --> 01:50:43,081
To save the worlds?
What does that mean?
1519
01:50:43,172 --> 01:50:47,927
l don't know. But as long as
one of the worlds he saves is ours,
1520
01:50:48,012 --> 01:50:52,324
l shall consider it a most
satisfactory outcome.
1521
01:50:54,412 --> 01:50:57,609
(ALL MUTTERlNG)
1522
01:51:05,572 --> 01:51:07,563
(CREAKlNG)
1523
01:51:27,772 --> 01:51:31,082
lt's extraordinary. lt looks like
they're gonna have a ceremony.
1524
01:51:31,732 --> 01:51:34,963
Ancient and traditional ritual,
probably dating back thousands
1525
01:51:35,052 --> 01:51:37,691
of years to celebrate the, um... The, um...
1526
01:51:37,772 --> 01:51:44,086
All that Golden Bough and Cycle of Nature
stuff just boils down to sex and violence.
1527
01:51:45,092 --> 01:51:46,684
Usually both at the same time.
1528
01:51:46,772 --> 01:51:48,683
(CHANTlNG)
1529
01:51:50,292 --> 01:51:52,487
l think we ought to be going.
1530
01:51:54,492 --> 01:51:55,971
Come on, let's go!
1531
01:52:05,052 --> 01:52:07,725
TWOFLOWER: lf only l had my picture box.
1532
01:52:14,692 --> 01:52:16,683
(CHANTlNG)
1533
01:52:17,772 --> 01:52:19,046
(RUSTLlNG)
1534
01:52:19,132 --> 01:52:21,362
TWOFLOWER: Oh, there you are.
1535
01:52:22,932 --> 01:52:24,126
lt's very loyal.
1536
01:52:24,212 --> 01:52:27,727
Yes, if loyalty is what you look for
in a suitcase.
1537
01:52:28,692 --> 01:52:30,205
Come on, look, we ought to leave.
1538
01:52:31,212 --> 01:52:33,328
TWOFLOWER: (WHlSPERlNG)
ls she a druidess?
1539
01:52:33,692 --> 01:52:35,762
l don't think so.
1540
01:52:36,412 --> 01:52:40,087
Look, you're not going to like
this next bit, l promise you.
1541
01:52:40,452 --> 01:52:44,684
l want to stay. Ceremonies like this
hark back to primitive simplicity...
1542
01:52:44,772 --> 01:52:48,367
lf you must know,
they're going to sacrifice her.
1543
01:52:49,772 --> 01:52:52,161
What? Kill her?
1544
01:52:52,252 --> 01:52:55,608
Well, it wouldn't be much of
a sacrifice if they didn't, would it?
1545
01:52:55,692 --> 01:52:58,252
Couldn't they just use flowers
and berries and things?
1546
01:52:58,332 --> 01:53:00,163
Sort of symbolic?
1547
01:53:00,252 --> 01:53:02,686
Look, no self-respecting high priest
1548
01:53:02,772 --> 01:53:06,287
is going to go through all the business
of trumpets and processions,
1549
01:53:06,372 --> 01:53:09,284
then shove his knife in a daffodil
and a couple of plums, is he?
1550
01:53:10,932 --> 01:53:12,001
Come on.
1551
01:53:13,492 --> 01:53:15,289
No. Really, honestly, please.
1552
01:53:16,332 --> 01:53:17,731
Um, l say, there.
1553
01:53:18,212 --> 01:53:20,123
Yes, l say, may l have a word there, sir?
1554
01:53:20,212 --> 01:53:21,247
(GRUNTS )
1555
01:53:21,332 --> 01:53:23,288
TWOFLOWER: l'm sorry to intrude,
l don't mean to be a bother.
1556
01:53:23,372 --> 01:53:27,809
l was just there and l saw what looks
to be a lovely enterprise you have here.
1557
01:53:29,052 --> 01:53:32,806
l just wonder if you'd reconsider,
for a moment, the idea of sacrifice.
1558
01:53:34,412 --> 01:53:39,122
Tell me what that other idiot is doing
or you is a dead man.
1559
01:53:39,212 --> 01:53:40,361
(WHlMPERS )
1560
01:53:40,452 --> 01:53:42,886
You see, you can't bring her back.
1561
01:53:42,972 --> 01:53:44,849
With the blood and the white dress.
1562
01:53:44,932 --> 01:53:49,050
His name is Twoflower
and he's not from these parts.
1563
01:53:49,892 --> 01:53:54,329
Doesn't look like it.
Now, what l'm looking for
1564
01:53:54,412 --> 01:53:57,688
is the box full of treasure with the legs.
1565
01:53:57,772 --> 01:54:00,764
TWOFLOWER: And leave...
MAN: Come here.
1566
01:54:02,532 --> 01:54:04,409
TWOFLOWER: Oh, hello.
1567
01:54:04,492 --> 01:54:05,811
ALL: Star. Star.
1568
01:54:05,892 --> 01:54:08,406
Oh, look, it's getting bigger.
1569
01:54:09,332 --> 01:54:12,244
You ever done this sort of thing before?
1570
01:54:13,372 --> 01:54:14,566
What sort of thing?
1571
01:54:14,652 --> 01:54:17,610
Rushed into a temple, killed the priests,
1572
01:54:17,692 --> 01:54:20,445
stolen the gold and rescued the girl?
1573
01:54:21,172 --> 01:54:23,891
Um, not in so many words, no.
1574
01:54:23,972 --> 01:54:26,281
You do it like this.
1575
01:54:28,292 --> 01:54:30,283
(GROWLS )
1576
01:54:35,812 --> 01:54:37,803
Let's go.
1577
01:54:41,972 --> 01:54:43,405
lt's all right.
1578
01:54:43,692 --> 01:54:45,250
Bloody well isn't.
1579
01:54:45,332 --> 01:54:46,367
(SCREAMlNG)
1580
01:54:46,452 --> 01:54:49,330
Why do people always go
and spoil things?
1581
01:54:53,292 --> 01:54:56,125
You've just been saved
from absolutely certain death.
1582
01:54:56,212 --> 01:54:59,363
(SlGHS ) lt's not easy around here,
you know. l mean,
1583
01:54:59,452 --> 01:55:02,762
keeping yourself... l mean, staying...
1584
01:55:02,852 --> 01:55:05,161
l mean, not letting myself...
1585
01:55:05,252 --> 01:55:07,561
Not losing your qualifications!
1586
01:55:07,652 --> 01:55:09,688
Oualifications?
1587
01:55:09,932 --> 01:55:12,400
l could have been up there with the
moon goddess by now, drinking mead
1588
01:55:12,492 --> 01:55:16,167
out of a silver bowl. Eight years of
staying home on Saturday nights
1589
01:55:16,252 --> 01:55:17,765
just right down the drain!
1590
01:55:17,852 --> 01:55:18,967
(SOBS )
1591
01:55:19,052 --> 01:55:21,043
Oh. Well.
1592
01:55:22,212 --> 01:55:23,725
(SCREAMS )
1593
01:55:23,812 --> 01:55:25,131
(GROANS )
1594
01:55:34,252 --> 01:55:36,243
(GROANS )
1595
01:55:41,732 --> 01:55:43,529
Where am l now?
1596
01:55:44,252 --> 01:55:46,208
SPELL 1: You're dreaming.
1597
01:55:47,172 --> 01:55:48,605
Can l wake up, please?
1598
01:55:48,692 --> 01:55:52,048
SPELL 2: No. You have a very important
task ahead of you.
1599
01:55:52,132 --> 01:55:54,965
Oh, good.
1600
01:55:55,052 --> 01:55:56,565
TWOFLOWER: Rincewind!
1601
01:55:56,652 --> 01:55:59,405
Rincewind? Are you in there?
1602
01:55:59,492 --> 01:56:02,052
COHEN: There's not even a flesh wound.
1603
01:56:02,332 --> 01:56:05,130
TWOFLOWER: Rincewind!
Can you hear me, Rincewind?
1604
01:56:05,892 --> 01:56:07,450
What's up with the girl?
1605
01:56:08,252 --> 01:56:10,368
She won't let us rescue her.
1606
01:56:11,852 --> 01:56:14,047
Bugger that.
1607
01:56:15,452 --> 01:56:16,521
No!
1608
01:56:16,612 --> 01:56:18,045
(SCREAMS )
1609
01:56:19,732 --> 01:56:21,165
(BOTH GROAN)
1610
01:56:21,892 --> 01:56:25,487
Don't just lie there, you daft cow,
help me up.
1611
01:56:28,052 --> 01:56:30,930
TWOFLOWER: Are you sure you can't hear
me in there, Rincewind?
1612
01:56:31,012 --> 01:56:33,401
Rincewind? Rincewind!
1613
01:56:34,292 --> 01:56:37,967
SPELL 2: Many years ago, we arranged for
one of our number to hide in your head.
1614
01:56:38,492 --> 01:56:41,450
Who are we, exactly?
1615
01:56:41,972 --> 01:56:45,123
SPELL 1: We are the seven speIIs,
and our task is to see that
1616
01:56:45,212 --> 01:56:48,488
nothing dreadfuI
happens to the eighth, Rincewind.
1617
01:56:48,572 --> 01:56:50,847
SPELL 2: It is most important
that you don't
1618
01:56:50,932 --> 01:56:53,321
Iet the wizards take the speII from you.
1619
01:56:53,412 --> 01:56:56,563
SPELL 1: AII eight speIIs must be
said at the right time
1620
01:56:56,652 --> 01:56:58,768
or terribIe things wiII happen.
1621
01:56:58,852 --> 01:57:02,049
SPELL 3: And they mustn't be said
by the wrong peopIe.
1622
01:57:03,612 --> 01:57:05,011
The wizards.
1623
01:57:05,092 --> 01:57:06,810
SPELL 1: PreciseIy.
1624
01:57:06,892 --> 01:57:09,247
Am l in the Octavo?
1625
01:57:09,332 --> 01:57:12,324
SPELL 2: In certain
metaphysicaI respects, yes.
1626
01:57:12,412 --> 01:57:15,802
(SCREAMS )
1627
01:57:17,692 --> 01:57:19,205
SPELL3: Why are you screaming?
1628
01:57:19,292 --> 01:57:21,044
SPELL 2: Yes, why are you screaming?
1629
01:57:21,132 --> 01:57:22,485
l'm inside a bloody book,
1630
01:57:22,572 --> 01:57:26,690
talking to voices l can't see,
and you ask me why l'm screaming?
1631
01:57:27,412 --> 01:57:30,210
SPELL 1: It is very important you safeguard
the speII in your head
1632
01:57:30,292 --> 01:57:34,205
and bring it back to us at
the University in time for the SoIstice,
1633
01:57:34,292 --> 01:57:38,285
so when the moment is preciseIy
right, we can be said.
1634
01:57:38,372 --> 01:57:41,045
Why should anyone want to say you?
1635
01:57:41,892 --> 01:57:45,282
SPELL 2: It's the star. You see, the turtIe
is heading towards it because.. .
1636
01:57:45,372 --> 01:57:47,283
No, no, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop.
1637
01:57:47,372 --> 01:57:52,571
Stop! You've totally ruined my life,
you do realise that, don't you?
1638
01:57:52,652 --> 01:57:56,247
l could have really made it as
a wizard if you hadn't used me
1639
01:57:56,332 --> 01:57:58,687
as a portable spell book.
1640
01:57:59,252 --> 01:58:01,846
l can't remember any other spells
1641
01:58:01,932 --> 01:58:05,561
because they're all too frightened
to be in the same head as you.
1642
01:58:05,892 --> 01:58:09,202
SPELL 1: Look at it Iike this, then,
as soon as the speII is said,
1643
01:58:09,292 --> 01:58:12,523
-you'II be rid of it.
-SPELL 3: And us. Forever.
1644
01:58:12,612 --> 01:58:14,603
(MOANS )
1645
01:58:17,812 --> 01:58:19,450
When's the Solstice?
1646
01:58:19,532 --> 01:58:21,045
Hey.
1647
01:58:21,132 --> 01:58:24,681
Oh, er, two days time, l think.
1648
01:58:24,772 --> 01:58:26,251
(GASPS ) Right.
1649
01:58:27,492 --> 01:58:30,006
We've got to go. Right now.
1650
01:58:30,092 --> 01:58:32,731
Won't the Druids be celebrating
the Solstice here?
1651
01:58:33,132 --> 01:58:34,850
Probably not.
1652
01:58:36,012 --> 01:58:39,925
Well, are you sure?
'Cause l'd really like to stay here.
1653
01:58:40,212 --> 01:58:41,281
Yes.
1654
01:58:44,292 --> 01:58:48,080
But Ankh-Morpork is the place to be
on Solstice.
1655
01:58:49,172 --> 01:58:51,003
Well, Rincewind, if we're not gonna be...
1656
01:58:51,092 --> 01:58:54,289
Oh, to feel the cobbles under your feet
1657
01:58:54,372 --> 01:58:57,045
and the old familiar smell of the cesspits.
1658
01:58:58,012 --> 01:59:00,242
They're at their very best this time of year.
1659
01:59:00,332 --> 01:59:04,211
-The place that l feel l really...
-l want to take you home.
1660
01:59:04,292 --> 01:59:08,444
Home to the potatoes they sell
at the fried fish stall,
1661
01:59:08,732 --> 01:59:12,202
at the junction of
the Street of Cunning Artifices
1662
01:59:13,012 --> 01:59:14,411
and Midden Street.
1663
01:59:14,492 --> 01:59:18,565
Yeah, potatoes, but, Rincewind,
this was a lovely fight,
1664
01:59:18,652 --> 01:59:22,440
but what l really wanna see is
the Temple at Bel-Shamharoth.
1665
01:59:22,532 --> 01:59:25,968
Potatoes, l hear you calling.
What did you say?
1666
01:59:26,252 --> 01:59:29,449
l want to see
the Temple of Bel-Shamharoth.
1667
01:59:31,412 --> 01:59:33,721
Not the home of the giant terrifying spider
1668
01:59:33,812 --> 01:59:36,963
from which no one has ever returned alive?
1669
01:59:37,052 --> 01:59:38,770
That's the one.
1670
01:59:39,372 --> 01:59:41,522
Oh. Right.
1671
01:59:43,292 --> 01:59:48,525
Ah! Of course,
the River Smarl runs right past it.
1672
01:59:48,732 --> 01:59:52,407
-Well, that settles it, then.
-On our way to the Solstice celebrations
1673
01:59:52,492 --> 01:59:56,929
-at Ankh-Morpork.
-l can hear the potatoes calling.
1674
01:59:57,012 --> 01:59:58,730
(LAUGHS )
1675
01:59:58,812 --> 02:00:00,040
Oh.
1676
02:00:03,092 --> 02:00:04,764
Right.
1677
02:00:04,852 --> 02:00:06,285
(MAN COUGHlNG)
1678
02:00:06,372 --> 02:00:07,771
MAN 2: Shut up.
1679
02:00:08,292 --> 02:00:09,930
l don't like the sound of that.
1680
02:00:11,012 --> 02:00:12,286
What shall we do?
1681
02:00:12,892 --> 02:00:15,770
Um... Panic?
1682
02:00:16,412 --> 02:00:17,401
(RUSTLlNG)
1683
02:00:21,172 --> 02:00:22,366
Oh. That's him !
1684
02:00:23,012 --> 02:00:24,445
Wizards. Panic!
1685
02:00:24,732 --> 02:00:27,530
Have they come to celebrate the Solstice?
1686
02:00:28,132 --> 02:00:29,724
Ouick, in there.
1687
02:00:37,572 --> 02:00:39,210
WlZARD: Rincewind!
1688
02:00:39,292 --> 02:00:41,601
Hey, they know you.
1689
02:00:43,612 --> 02:00:45,603
We've got you surrounded.
1690
02:00:46,452 --> 02:00:49,569
Come back with us to
see Arch Chancellor Trymon,
1691
02:00:50,652 --> 02:00:53,041
and everything will be all right.
1692
02:00:53,652 --> 02:00:54,846
You have his word.
1693
02:00:54,932 --> 02:01:00,245
-lt's nice they want you back.
-No, it isn't. Even by wizards' standards,
1694
02:01:00,692 --> 02:01:03,206
Trymon is a nasty piece of work.
1695
02:01:08,972 --> 02:01:13,682
Now, we can do this the easy way
or we can do this the very easy way.
1696
02:01:15,132 --> 02:01:16,485
What's the easy way?
1697
02:01:16,572 --> 02:01:19,689
You come out not covered
in burning leaf mould.
1698
02:01:22,532 --> 02:01:24,727
RlNCEWlND: What's the very easy way?
1699
02:01:24,812 --> 02:01:27,610
We set fire to the sacrificial pyre.
1700
02:01:29,132 --> 02:01:30,690
With you in it.
1701
02:01:33,772 --> 02:01:35,842
-How do you think it'll end?
-Well,
1702
02:01:37,172 --> 02:01:41,006
if that star is an omen,
it looks like we're all going to die.
1703
02:01:41,092 --> 02:01:45,051
-We should name it now, then.
-Might as well.
1704
02:01:45,132 --> 02:01:48,044
How about the Death Star?
1705
02:01:49,332 --> 02:01:53,041
Oh, don't be daft, what sort of name
is that? The Death Star?
1706
02:01:57,892 --> 02:02:00,201
Who cast a spell?
1707
02:02:02,532 --> 02:02:04,727
You didn't see that Trymon
out there, did you?
1708
02:02:05,092 --> 02:02:06,320
Trymon, no, why?
1709
02:02:06,412 --> 02:02:09,961
Well, for a minute there,
l thought we were in trouble.
1710
02:02:10,052 --> 02:02:11,201
Oh.
1711
02:02:28,172 --> 02:02:30,322
TWOFLOWER: Rincewind, look out!
1712
02:02:48,132 --> 02:02:51,204
A little bit earlier would have been nice.
1713
02:02:51,612 --> 02:02:52,727
(SlGHS )
1714
02:02:52,812 --> 02:02:56,009
Oh, Twoflower! Twoflower!
1715
02:02:56,092 --> 02:02:58,003
(SHOUTlNG) All wizards must die!
1716
02:02:58,092 --> 02:03:02,643
lf the wizards can't get rid of the star,
they should cease all magic
1717
02:03:02,732 --> 02:03:05,087
and commit suicide in good order.
1718
02:03:10,692 --> 02:03:14,844
lf they're going to be like that,
personally, l'd let them burn.
1719
02:03:14,932 --> 02:03:16,888
ALL: All wizards must die!
1720
02:03:16,972 --> 02:03:21,762
The fact is, the star is getting bigger.
1721
02:03:23,012 --> 02:03:28,848
And without Rincewind's spell,
there's nothing we can do about it.
1722
02:03:29,292 --> 02:03:32,682
-l looked in the Mirror of Oversight.
-l used the Runes of M'haw.
1723
02:03:32,772 --> 02:03:36,208
May l make it clear that l tried
both the Runes and the Mirror
1724
02:03:36,292 --> 02:03:38,726
-and the entrails of a manicreach.
-Any good?
1725
02:03:38,812 --> 02:03:41,804
-So nobody knows where he is now?
-No.
1726
02:03:43,452 --> 02:03:47,923
ln times of crisis, one must be wise.
1727
02:03:48,812 --> 02:03:53,010
And wise men do what the times demand.
1728
02:03:53,212 --> 02:03:57,569
CROWD: All wizards must die! All wizards
must die! All wizards must die!
1729
02:03:57,652 --> 02:04:00,371
Twoflower, Twoflower. Come on, wake up.
1730
02:04:00,452 --> 02:04:02,044
We've got to go.
1731
02:04:02,532 --> 02:04:04,841
All right, if that's the way you want it.
1732
02:04:24,932 --> 02:04:26,729
(GROANS )
1733
02:04:26,812 --> 02:04:30,043
-Let me rest me back.
-RlNCEWlND: Twoflower.
1734
02:04:32,252 --> 02:04:34,607
Wakey-wakey. Come along, lad.
1735
02:04:34,692 --> 02:04:38,685
There's some liniment stuff in the
saddlebag, if you wouldn't mind.
1736
02:04:40,892 --> 02:04:43,360
Who are you?
1737
02:04:46,292 --> 02:04:49,921
Cohen is me name.
1738
02:04:50,452 --> 02:04:52,488
Cohen the Barbarian?
1739
02:04:53,612 --> 02:04:55,523
The very same.
1740
02:04:55,612 --> 02:04:57,489
Oh, hang on, hang on.
1741
02:04:58,052 --> 02:05:00,612
Cohen is a great big chap, built like a bull.
1742
02:05:00,972 --> 02:05:03,725
Chest muscles like a sack of footballs.
1743
02:05:04,492 --> 02:05:08,041
He's the Disc's greatest warrior!
1744
02:05:08,132 --> 02:05:10,930
He's a legend in his own lifetime.
1745
02:05:11,452 --> 02:05:13,682
(LAUGHS ) My grandfather
used to tell me...
1746
02:05:13,772 --> 02:05:14,761
Yes.
1747
02:05:16,572 --> 02:05:18,051
That's right, boy.
1748
02:05:18,612 --> 02:05:21,126
l'm a lifetime in me own legend.
1749
02:05:22,332 --> 02:05:24,050
You were the greatest.
1750
02:05:24,132 --> 02:05:26,123
(MOANS )
1751
02:05:26,772 --> 02:05:28,888
Bards still sing songs about you.
1752
02:05:29,532 --> 02:05:31,124
l never get any royalties.
1753
02:05:32,732 --> 02:05:35,087
That's the saga of my life.
1754
02:05:36,092 --> 02:05:38,811
80 years in the business,
and what have l got to show for it?
1755
02:05:38,892 --> 02:05:42,328
Back ache, piles, bad digestion
1756
02:05:42,412 --> 02:05:45,563
and a hundred different recipes for shoop.
1757
02:05:46,172 --> 02:05:48,003
Shoop. l hate shoop.
1758
02:05:48,532 --> 02:05:50,523
-Shoop.
-Soup.
1759
02:05:51,452 --> 02:05:52,771
lt's me teeth, you see.
1760
02:05:53,452 --> 02:05:56,125
No one takes you seriously
when you've got no teeth.
1761
02:05:56,212 --> 02:05:59,887
They say, ''Sit by the fire,
Granddad, and have some shoop.''
1762
02:05:59,972 --> 02:06:01,963
(LAUGHS )
1763
02:06:04,692 --> 02:06:05,920
(COUGHS )
1764
02:06:06,012 --> 02:06:08,287
That's a nasty cough
you've got there, mind.
1765
02:06:08,372 --> 02:06:10,681
Yes, yes, l know. l'm sorry.
1766
02:06:10,772 --> 02:06:12,967
lt's just that... Come on, wake up!
1767
02:06:14,292 --> 02:06:16,123
He's gone.
1768
02:06:17,372 --> 02:06:18,805
What, dead?
1769
02:06:19,652 --> 02:06:21,483
Well...
1770
02:06:22,812 --> 02:06:25,451
l've got to get him back to Ankh-Morpork.
1771
02:06:25,532 --> 02:06:29,445
Well, he's not exactly dead.
1772
02:06:29,532 --> 02:06:32,729
He can't die, the Patrician will kill me.
1773
02:06:32,812 --> 02:06:35,929
-He's just gone.
-He's gone?
1774
02:06:36,812 --> 02:06:38,768
Where? Can't l get him back?
1775
02:06:39,132 --> 02:06:43,489
l don't know, but l think l know
someone who might have a map.
1776
02:06:47,772 --> 02:06:49,888
A necromancer.
1777
02:06:50,412 --> 02:06:52,448
What's neg romance?
1778
02:06:53,452 --> 02:06:57,206
No, necromancy is talking to the dead.
1779
02:06:57,852 --> 02:06:59,729
Oh.
1780
02:07:00,332 --> 02:07:03,085
Course, l don't believe in tarot cards.
1781
02:07:03,612 --> 02:07:08,208
l mean, all that stuff about it being
dissolved wisdom from the universe...
1782
02:07:08,292 --> 02:07:09,281
(SCOFFS )
1783
02:07:09,372 --> 02:07:11,010
Lot of old rubbish.
1784
02:07:12,252 --> 02:07:13,890
The star.
1785
02:07:20,092 --> 02:07:22,287
lt's nothing to do with me.
1786
02:07:28,252 --> 02:07:30,447
Four of elephants.
1787
02:07:31,732 --> 02:07:34,292
The ace of turtles.
1788
02:07:36,372 --> 02:07:38,283
Death.
1789
02:07:38,732 --> 02:07:40,290
(WHlMPERS )
1790
02:07:41,332 --> 02:07:43,562
ls he really dead?
1791
02:07:48,332 --> 02:07:50,402
(SlGHS )
1792
02:07:56,492 --> 02:07:58,483
(HlSSlNG)
1793
02:08:03,172 --> 02:08:06,403
She said it's a sort of medicine.
1794
02:08:07,012 --> 02:08:10,288
So, if you want to see your friend
in this world again,
1795
02:08:10,372 --> 02:08:12,840
l should drink it if l were you.
1796
02:08:14,652 --> 02:08:16,768
Well, if you're sure it's okay.
1797
02:08:18,092 --> 02:08:20,765
Can't make the beer taste
any worse, can it?
1798
02:08:20,852 --> 02:08:23,207
(CHUCKLES )
1799
02:08:28,612 --> 02:08:31,172
Well, he did take a spell for me, so,
1800
02:08:32,412 --> 02:08:34,368
here goes.
1801
02:08:37,452 --> 02:08:39,363
(STOMACH GURGLlNG)
1802
02:08:39,452 --> 02:08:43,491
Well, actually, it doesn't taste too bad.
1803
02:08:48,052 --> 02:08:50,725
RINCEWIND: Oh, where am I going?
1804
02:08:54,652 --> 02:08:56,961
NECROMANCER: Don't look back.
1805
02:08:57,052 --> 02:08:59,327
But where am I going?
1806
02:09:30,292 --> 02:09:32,886
Oh, no.
1807
02:09:34,452 --> 02:09:36,124
Twoflower!
1808
02:09:36,532 --> 02:09:39,524
Twoflower! Twoflower!
1809
02:09:55,412 --> 02:09:57,403
(GASPS )
1810
02:09:59,772 --> 02:10:03,287
Twoflower. There you are.
1811
02:10:05,972 --> 02:10:07,963
What an amazing clock.
1812
02:10:08,052 --> 02:10:09,167
(GASPS )
1813
02:10:09,252 --> 02:10:10,924
Rincewind, where are we, exactly?
1814
02:10:11,772 --> 02:10:15,685
We're sort of informally dead.
1815
02:10:16,332 --> 02:10:17,685
Oh.
1816
02:10:17,892 --> 02:10:21,521
Come along. Look, we haven't got time
to take pictures, let's go.
1817
02:10:21,612 --> 02:10:24,445
lt won't take very long.
1818
02:10:24,532 --> 02:10:28,207
Poor light! Three bloody years
in f/8 if you ask me.
1819
02:10:29,732 --> 02:10:31,245
Do your best.
1820
02:10:31,332 --> 02:10:33,926
Look, what do you wanna
take pictures for?
1821
02:10:34,452 --> 02:10:36,920
Can't you just remember it?
1822
02:10:37,012 --> 02:10:40,163
Well, in years to come,
when l'm sitting by the fire...
1823
02:10:40,252 --> 02:10:45,485
You'll be sitting by the fire permanently
if we don't get out of here!
1824
02:10:46,652 --> 02:10:49,485
This way. Come on.
1825
02:10:50,332 --> 02:10:54,325
Oh, l do hope you're not going.
1826
02:10:54,572 --> 02:10:57,040
l so seldom have company.
1827
02:10:59,772 --> 02:11:03,082
We... We really mustn't keep you.
1828
02:11:03,412 --> 02:11:04,561
Get ready to run.
1829
02:11:04,652 --> 02:11:07,769
Oh, but l've never been
at Death's door before.
1830
02:11:12,732 --> 02:11:14,927
Right, now, run!
1831
02:11:20,692 --> 02:11:24,207
Don't look back! Don't look back!
Mustn't look back!
1832
02:11:24,652 --> 02:11:27,849
DEATH: There are worse things
than being dead, you know.
1833
02:11:27,932 --> 02:11:29,206
Name two!
1834
02:11:29,292 --> 02:11:30,771
(BOTH SCREAM)
1835
02:11:35,892 --> 02:11:37,928
That always annoys me.
1836
02:11:38,532 --> 02:11:41,729
l might as well as install a revolving door.
1837
02:11:43,972 --> 02:11:46,122
lf l've got time.
1838
02:11:48,652 --> 02:11:49,721
Rincewind.
1839
02:11:49,812 --> 02:11:50,847
(GASPS )
1840
02:11:50,932 --> 02:11:52,923
-Oh. Hello.
-Hi there.
1841
02:11:53,092 --> 02:11:55,606
-Did l move at all?
-No.
1842
02:11:55,692 --> 02:11:59,128
You just looked at the fire,
as if you'd seen a ghost.
1843
02:11:59,212 --> 02:12:01,362
(GROANS )
1844
02:12:01,612 --> 02:12:03,682
Oh, you're alive.
1845
02:12:03,772 --> 02:12:05,763
(GROANS )
1846
02:12:07,012 --> 02:12:09,082
But no thanks to yourself,
1847
02:12:09,172 --> 02:12:13,484
Mr, ''Would you like some berries while
you stick your sickle in my head?''
1848
02:12:15,252 --> 02:12:18,483
Hey! No hugging! l do not hug.
1849
02:12:18,732 --> 02:12:20,563
(GROANS ) My head.
1850
02:12:20,652 --> 02:12:24,531
You've been ill. You've been hallucinating.
1851
02:12:24,612 --> 02:12:27,729
Hmm. Well, if l've been hallucinating,
1852
02:12:29,172 --> 02:12:30,969
l bet l took some great pictures.
1853
02:12:31,052 --> 02:12:32,804
Ah! No. No, no, no.
1854
02:12:32,892 --> 02:12:35,645
You can't. No picture-ography.
1855
02:12:35,732 --> 02:12:38,200
The Horse People are very superstitious.
1856
02:12:38,292 --> 02:12:40,328
l'll put this in the Luggage for you.
1857
02:12:47,532 --> 02:12:50,000
You'd better not be going somewhere
next where we need too much black.
1858
02:12:50,572 --> 02:12:54,770
lt wasn't like that. lt was a little cottage...
1859
02:12:55,292 --> 02:12:57,169
You see what you see, l paint what l see
1860
02:12:57,252 --> 02:13:00,130
and l only see what's really there, see?
1861
02:13:06,972 --> 02:13:09,964
Um, what happened to old Galder's chair,
1862
02:13:10,052 --> 02:13:12,691
the one with lion arms
and the ducks' feet?
1863
02:13:12,772 --> 02:13:15,844
Oh, that. l had it burnt.
1864
02:13:16,452 --> 02:13:19,762
But it was a priceless magical artefact.
A genuine piece of...
1865
02:13:19,852 --> 02:13:21,729
(TAPS GLASS )
1866
02:13:26,292 --> 02:13:30,410
Now, may l draw your attention
to the agenda?
1867
02:13:30,892 --> 02:13:34,282
What does a genda do?
1868
02:13:36,212 --> 02:13:40,922
lt's simply a list of things
that we need to discuss.
1869
02:13:41,012 --> 02:13:44,129
Top of which is the matter of Rincewind.
1870
02:13:44,212 --> 02:13:46,680
And the star.
People are agitating, you know.
1871
02:13:46,772 --> 02:13:49,491
That is item number two on the agenda.
1872
02:13:50,172 --> 02:13:54,324
ltem number one is the fact
that you have failed to find him.
1873
02:13:54,412 --> 02:13:56,721
So, what are you suggesting
we do about it?
1874
02:13:56,812 --> 02:13:59,690
l'm not suggesting anything.
1875
02:13:59,772 --> 02:14:02,605
-l've sent someone to find him.
-Who?
1876
02:14:03,812 --> 02:14:04,927
A hero.
1877
02:14:05,012 --> 02:14:07,321
-On whose authority?
-Mine.
1878
02:14:07,892 --> 02:14:11,328
-l need no other.
-You've hired a blood-thirsty idiot
1879
02:14:11,412 --> 02:14:13,130
who can't walk and think at the same time.
1880
02:14:13,212 --> 02:14:15,043
How can you take anyone seriousIy when.. .
1881
02:14:15,132 --> 02:14:17,009
(ALL CHATTERlNG)
1882
02:14:18,572 --> 02:14:20,403
NARRA TOR: The hero,
even at this moment
1883
02:14:20,492 --> 02:14:22,403
gaIIoping towards the Vortex PIains,
1884
02:14:22,492 --> 02:14:26,326
doesn't get invoIved
in trading insuIts with wizards.
1885
02:14:26,412 --> 02:14:28,972
Not just because
they don't take it seriousIy,
1886
02:14:29,052 --> 02:14:34,206
but because this particuIar hero is,
in fact, a heroine
1887
02:14:34,292 --> 02:14:36,487
named Herrena.
1888
02:14:40,732 --> 02:14:42,723
(CLEARS THROAT)
1889
02:14:43,852 --> 02:14:49,802
-The Horse People have decided.
-They hold Cohen in the highest regard.
1890
02:14:50,252 --> 02:14:53,927
-Cohen? The Barbarian?
-l was going to mention that.
1891
02:14:54,012 --> 02:14:56,446
-But back in Ankh-Morpork you said...
-l lied.
1892
02:14:56,532 --> 02:14:59,444
The Horse People have decided
1893
02:14:59,732 --> 02:15:04,248
to give you mounts and directions
to the River Smarl,
1894
02:15:04,332 --> 02:15:08,166
where you can catch
a ferry back to the Circle Sea.
1895
02:15:08,692 --> 02:15:11,604
-You lied?
-Yeah. Ah, well, l...
1896
02:15:11,692 --> 02:15:12,920
l'd like to thank you very much
1897
02:15:13,012 --> 02:15:18,484
because you've been most helpful
and it will be very, um,
1898
02:15:18,572 --> 02:15:20,290
different without you.
1899
02:15:20,372 --> 02:15:23,125
You don't wish us to accompany you?
1900
02:15:23,212 --> 02:15:25,043
No, no, we'll be fine.
1901
02:15:28,212 --> 02:15:32,330
These are dangerous times.
1902
02:15:32,972 --> 02:15:36,442
Yes, l know but, um,
l'm beginning to cope very well
1903
02:15:36,532 --> 02:15:38,568
with these near-death experiences.
1904
02:15:38,652 --> 02:15:41,803
l just can't believe
it's Cohen the Barbarian.
1905
02:15:45,292 --> 02:15:48,011
ls he, perhaps, being sarcastic?
1906
02:15:48,092 --> 02:15:50,367
No, no, he's always like that.
1907
02:15:54,292 --> 02:15:56,601
He's got eyes, hasn't he?
1908
02:15:56,692 --> 02:16:00,970
Yes, but, um, he doesn't see things
as other people do.
1909
02:16:01,932 --> 02:16:04,400
Take this yurt, for example.
1910
02:16:04,492 --> 02:16:10,840
lt's... Well, it's dark and greasy
and smells like a very ill horse.
1911
02:16:12,012 --> 02:16:13,240
Yes.
1912
02:16:13,372 --> 02:16:19,242
Hmm. Yes, but he would say that it
smells like the curious and rare resins
1913
02:16:19,372 --> 02:16:22,170
plundered by lean-eyed warriors
1914
02:16:22,252 --> 02:16:26,245
from the edge of civilisation.
You know, so on and so on.
1915
02:16:28,332 --> 02:16:30,926
Well, the snake warriors are the...
1916
02:16:31,012 --> 02:16:33,401
l could tell him to shut up.
1917
02:16:35,012 --> 02:16:36,525
No, l...
1918
02:16:37,092 --> 02:16:38,923
l like his eyes.
1919
02:16:39,852 --> 02:16:43,049
They can see for 50 years.
1920
02:16:45,572 --> 02:16:48,848
(COUGHS ) l shall accompany you
1921
02:16:48,932 --> 02:16:52,004
for the reason that if anything
should happen to you,
1922
02:16:52,092 --> 02:16:54,560
the legend would be besmirched.
1923
02:16:56,012 --> 02:17:00,085
But also on the count of me chilblains.
1924
02:17:00,172 --> 02:17:02,606
l'm coming, too!
1925
02:17:03,052 --> 02:17:05,930
ln case Cohen needs anything rubbed.
1926
02:17:16,732 --> 02:17:18,723
COHEN: lt seems brighter now.
1927
02:17:19,652 --> 02:17:22,007
What is it?
1928
02:17:22,692 --> 02:17:26,321
Why does everybody look at me?
l don't know what it is.
1929
02:17:27,052 --> 02:17:29,885
-lt's probably a comet or something.
-l wonder if it's a sign.
1930
02:17:29,972 --> 02:17:33,726
-Will we be burned up?
-Well, how the hell would l know?
1931
02:17:33,812 --> 02:17:38,044
l've never been hit by a comet
before, have l? Walk on.
1932
02:17:44,692 --> 02:17:46,364
Have you combed your beard?
1933
02:17:46,452 --> 02:17:47,441
Eh?
1934
02:17:47,532 --> 02:17:48,681
(CHUCKLES )
1935
02:17:48,772 --> 02:17:51,570
l think she's taken a bit of a shine to you.
1936
02:17:53,652 --> 02:17:56,644
lf l was 20 years younger...
1937
02:17:56,732 --> 02:17:58,165
Yes?
1938
02:17:59,012 --> 02:18:00,445
...l'd be 67.
1939
02:18:02,772 --> 02:18:06,048
Me, riding with Cohen the Barbarian.
1940
02:18:07,372 --> 02:18:09,840
Who could possibly attack us now?
1941
02:18:48,492 --> 02:18:52,246
NARRA TOR: It is indeed a hundred miIes
rimwards to the River SmarI,
1942
02:18:52,332 --> 02:18:56,325
across the high pIains and down
to the gIoomy pine forest
1943
02:18:56,412 --> 02:19:01,645
that Iies rather cIoser than is comfortabIe
to the TroIIbone Mountains.
1944
02:19:02,652 --> 02:19:04,802
The cIue is in the titIe.
1945
02:19:04,892 --> 02:19:09,966
Did we really have to stop?
The River Smarl can't be that far away.
1946
02:19:10,052 --> 02:19:11,929
The ferryman doesn't work at night,
1947
02:19:12,012 --> 02:19:15,891
so we might as well get some rest.
Besides, my feet are killing me.
1948
02:19:16,572 --> 02:19:19,769
You'd have quite nice feet
if only you looked after them.
1949
02:19:20,172 --> 02:19:23,721
You don't get to meet many
chiropodists in my line of work.
1950
02:19:24,252 --> 02:19:28,165
l've met any amount of snake priests,
mad gods,
1951
02:19:28,892 --> 02:19:31,725
war lords... Never any chiropodists.
1952
02:19:32,972 --> 02:19:35,088
l suppose it wouldn't look right, really.
1953
02:19:35,172 --> 02:19:37,163
Cohen against the chiropodists.
1954
02:19:37,252 --> 02:19:41,086
(LAUGHS ) Or Cohen
and the Chiropractors of Doom?
1955
02:19:41,172 --> 02:19:42,207
(ALL LAUGH)
1956
02:19:42,292 --> 02:19:43,884
Or Cohen and the mad dentists.
1957
02:19:46,492 --> 02:19:48,084
What's funny about that?
1958
02:19:48,172 --> 02:19:49,491
Oh.
1959
02:19:51,852 --> 02:19:53,808
Nothing in particular.
1960
02:19:53,892 --> 02:19:58,920
l don't blame you. lt's hard being
a hero when you've got no teeth.
1961
02:19:59,932 --> 02:20:01,968
Don't matter what else you lose.
1962
02:20:02,052 --> 02:20:06,011
You can get by with one eye, even.
But show them a mouthful of gums,
1963
02:20:06,092 --> 02:20:08,401
and no one has any respect.
1964
02:20:08,772 --> 02:20:10,967
l do.
1965
02:20:11,052 --> 02:20:13,247
Why don't you have a new pair
made for yourself?
1966
02:20:13,332 --> 02:20:17,644
-Well, l do have trouble masticating.
-Huh?
1967
02:20:17,732 --> 02:20:18,847
(GASPS )
1968
02:20:18,932 --> 02:20:21,082
-l beg your pardon?
-You know, chewing.
1969
02:20:21,172 --> 02:20:22,571
Oh, yeah, chewing.
1970
02:20:23,772 --> 02:20:25,888
They're called den-chures.
1971
02:20:26,692 --> 02:20:28,648
Time chewers?
1972
02:20:28,732 --> 02:20:32,691
-Dentures!
-Lots of people wear them where l'm from.
1973
02:20:32,852 --> 02:20:35,605
What? And they don't
just have to eat soup?
1974
02:20:35,812 --> 02:20:37,962
No!
1975
02:20:38,292 --> 02:20:41,568
That has to rank as the most
pathetically easy ambush
1976
02:20:41,652 --> 02:20:45,804
in swordswoman history. l've no idea
why you're so important.
1977
02:20:46,372 --> 02:20:47,930
lmportant? To who?
1978
02:20:48,132 --> 02:20:49,929
-The wizards.
-The wizards.
1979
02:20:50,012 --> 02:20:51,206
At the Unseen University.
1980
02:20:51,292 --> 02:20:54,045
For some reason, they want me
to take you back.
1981
02:20:54,132 --> 02:20:57,169
lt's a short ride hubwards
to the ferry at the River Smarl.
1982
02:20:57,252 --> 02:20:59,925
From there, well be at Ankh-Morpork
by morning.
1983
02:21:00,012 --> 02:21:01,081
Excuse me.
1984
02:21:02,692 --> 02:21:03,761
Yes?
1985
02:21:03,852 --> 02:21:07,162
Do you think we could drop by the
Temple of Bel-Shamharoth on the way?
1986
02:21:08,772 --> 02:21:11,286
Only if you want to ride
a thousand miles rimwards
1987
02:21:11,372 --> 02:21:13,328
in the wrong direction.
1988
02:21:14,092 --> 02:21:15,161
You mean you can't reach
1989
02:21:15,252 --> 02:21:18,449
the Temple of Bel-Shamharoth by
the River Smarl?
1990
02:21:18,532 --> 02:21:20,124
HERRENA: No, of course not.
1991
02:21:22,172 --> 02:21:26,723
Oh. Well, at least we'll be in Ankh-Morpork
1992
02:21:26,812 --> 02:21:29,007
for the special Solstice celebrations.
1993
02:21:29,092 --> 02:21:30,127
Oh, yes.
1994
02:21:30,212 --> 02:21:33,921
-What special Solstice celebrations?
-Never heard of them.
1995
02:21:34,172 --> 02:21:38,882
So my guide wasn't going to take
me to Bel-Shamharoth at all, was he?
1996
02:21:39,372 --> 02:21:42,205
No. lt was too dangerous.
1997
02:21:46,452 --> 02:21:48,522
Do you want half your money back?
1998
02:21:49,692 --> 02:21:51,808
Do you want all your money back?
1999
02:21:52,372 --> 02:21:55,682
Look, it's not about money.
We're supposed to be friends.
2000
02:21:55,772 --> 02:21:59,651
-We shook on it.
-Look, if you must know the truth,
2001
02:21:59,732 --> 02:22:04,408
l only agreed to be your guide
because the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork
2002
02:22:04,492 --> 02:22:08,280
said he'd do unspeakable things
to me if l didn't!
2003
02:22:08,372 --> 02:22:10,169
So there you have it.
2004
02:22:12,572 --> 02:22:15,564
-Thank you for being honest.
-Well...
2005
02:22:20,212 --> 02:22:23,602
They don't even celebrate
the Solstice in Ankh-Morpork, do they?
2006
02:22:23,692 --> 02:22:24,681
No.
2007
02:22:24,772 --> 02:22:25,807
(SlGHS )
2008
02:22:25,892 --> 02:22:29,089
And l'm probably the worst wizard
this side of the Circle Sea.
2009
02:22:29,172 --> 02:22:31,083
And l thought everything
was going so well.
2010
02:22:31,172 --> 02:22:32,924
Well, you thought wrong.
2011
02:22:35,732 --> 02:22:37,723
(SlGHS )
2012
02:22:45,932 --> 02:22:49,163
(SCREAMS )
2013
02:22:49,252 --> 02:22:52,449
You're in great danger,
you've got to put the fire out!
2014
02:22:52,532 --> 02:22:57,526
No, you're in great danger.
The fire stays. Don't try to distract me.
2015
02:22:57,612 --> 02:23:02,732
No, it's... You've obviously never
heard of the legend of Old Granddad.
2016
02:23:02,812 --> 02:23:05,246
l knew he was around here somewhere.
2017
02:23:05,332 --> 02:23:08,847
-When a troll gets older...
-There are trolls?
2018
02:23:08,932 --> 02:23:11,571
...he gets bigger and bigger.
2019
02:23:11,652 --> 02:23:14,928
And this is a very old troll.
2020
02:23:15,012 --> 02:23:17,446
Everyone knows trolls keep away from fire.
2021
02:23:17,532 --> 02:23:21,889
But this specific troll can't.
2022
02:23:21,972 --> 02:23:23,485
-Can't?
-Can't?
2023
02:23:23,572 --> 02:23:26,689
No, because you've lit the fire
on his tongue!
2024
02:23:40,452 --> 02:23:43,012
(ALL SCREAM)
2025
02:23:46,052 --> 02:23:48,247
BETHAN: Cohen!
TWOFLOWER: ls it an earthquake?
2026
02:23:53,452 --> 02:23:55,488
Come on, you two.
2027
02:23:57,052 --> 02:23:58,644
BETHAN: Cohen!
2028
02:23:58,772 --> 02:24:00,603
Get up, you silly cow.
2029
02:24:46,372 --> 02:24:47,691
(SCREAMS )
2030
02:24:47,772 --> 02:24:49,603
Come on, run!
2031
02:25:02,732 --> 02:25:05,644
RlNCEWlND: l think we're going home
in an envelope.
2032
02:25:22,132 --> 02:25:24,327
Wow.
2033
02:25:28,332 --> 02:25:32,484
lf complete and utter chaos was lightning,
2034
02:25:32,572 --> 02:25:35,450
then being tied to you is like
standing on a hill top
2035
02:25:35,532 --> 02:25:39,366
in a thunder storm
wearing a wet copper armour
2036
02:25:39,452 --> 02:25:42,922
and shouting, ''All gods are idiots.''
2037
02:25:44,372 --> 02:25:46,966
-Thank you.
-lt wasn't a compliment!
2038
02:25:47,052 --> 02:25:50,044
-Oh.
-Come on, let's stand up.
2039
02:25:50,812 --> 02:25:53,724
(BOTH GROAN)
2040
02:25:55,492 --> 02:25:59,770
Well, l'm off to see Bel-Shamharoth.
2041
02:25:59,852 --> 02:26:03,970
Good luck, and l hope the spider
eats you. Sod the Patrician.
2042
02:26:04,732 --> 02:26:07,041
l'm going home to Ankh-Morpork.
2043
02:26:07,132 --> 02:26:08,531
-Fine.
-Fine.
2044
02:26:08,612 --> 02:26:09,727
(BOTH GROAN)
2045
02:26:18,412 --> 02:26:20,130
Ow!
2046
02:26:26,492 --> 02:26:29,689
-Happy now?
-l don't want to talk about it.
2047
02:26:29,772 --> 02:26:32,206
We're going to Ankh-Morpork.
2048
02:26:32,292 --> 02:26:34,965
This isn't exactly what l had in mind.
2049
02:26:44,652 --> 02:26:46,370
(SHOUTlNG)
2050
02:26:46,452 --> 02:26:48,408
(JEERlNG)
2051
02:26:50,612 --> 02:26:55,686
ls it just me, or does that look
rather like a very large target?
2052
02:26:55,772 --> 02:27:00,323
(ALL CHANTlNG) Destroy those wizards!
Destroy those wizards!
2053
02:27:00,412 --> 02:27:04,200
Destroy those wizards!
Destroy those wizards!
2054
02:27:04,292 --> 02:27:08,331
Destroy those wizards!
Destroy those wizards!
2055
02:27:08,412 --> 02:27:12,849
Destroy those wizards!
Destroy those wizards!
2056
02:27:12,932 --> 02:27:15,651
Destroy those wizards!
2057
02:27:15,732 --> 02:27:20,123
The trouble is, the Arch Chancellor
is just not a team player.
2058
02:27:20,212 --> 02:27:24,763
There is, of course, the tradition
of dead men's pointy shoes.
2059
02:27:25,412 --> 02:27:30,770
You mean, create a vacancy in the Arch
Chancellor's department, sort of thing?
2060
02:27:31,892 --> 02:27:33,120
Very well.
2061
02:27:33,852 --> 02:27:35,365
We need a volunteer.
2062
02:27:35,972 --> 02:27:38,167
Anyone?
2063
02:27:39,292 --> 02:27:41,601
Anyone?
2064
02:27:43,372 --> 02:27:45,488
Everyone, then.
2065
02:27:47,612 --> 02:27:50,843
Ook.
2066
02:28:18,492 --> 02:28:20,289
(BANGlNG)
2067
02:28:27,292 --> 02:28:29,283
(SCREAMS )
2068
02:28:52,532 --> 02:28:54,523
(GROWLS )
2069
02:29:05,052 --> 02:29:06,167
Wait.
2070
02:29:14,532 --> 02:29:15,521
(RESOUNDlNG)
2071
02:29:44,812 --> 02:29:47,724
You're not the usual ferryman.
l've been here before.
2072
02:29:47,812 --> 02:29:49,848
The usual man is a big fellow.
2073
02:29:52,972 --> 02:29:54,963
Okay.
2074
02:30:03,132 --> 02:30:04,724
Two of you, grab him.
2075
02:30:04,812 --> 02:30:05,847
Daft cow.
2076
02:30:05,932 --> 02:30:06,967
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
2077
02:30:08,412 --> 02:30:09,811
You, shut up.
2078
02:30:09,892 --> 02:30:11,962
Let's see what's under that robe.
2079
02:30:13,652 --> 02:30:15,483
Hey!
2080
02:30:18,332 --> 02:30:21,608
Kill them both. l'll deal with this old fool.
2081
02:30:22,612 --> 02:30:25,251
(MOANS )
2082
02:30:33,652 --> 02:30:35,563
(SCREAMlNG)
2083
02:30:41,572 --> 02:30:44,723
Time to get going. Come on!
2084
02:30:44,812 --> 02:30:48,122
l say, well done! Excellent, sir.
2085
02:30:49,892 --> 02:30:50,927
(CRACKlNG)
2086
02:30:51,012 --> 02:30:52,240
Oh.
2087
02:30:52,332 --> 02:30:53,924
Pulled my back.
2088
02:30:54,012 --> 02:30:55,161
(GROANS )
2089
02:30:57,332 --> 02:30:59,846
(GROANS ) Oh.
2090
02:31:05,532 --> 02:31:08,842
l don't know who you are
or where you're from,
2091
02:31:08,932 --> 02:31:12,402
and there's nothing personal
about this, you understand.
2092
02:31:19,372 --> 02:31:20,361
(CRACKlNG)
2093
02:31:21,492 --> 02:31:23,323
Are you okay?
2094
02:31:23,412 --> 02:31:24,640
(GROANS )
2095
02:31:24,732 --> 02:31:28,247
Oh, the back is... ls cured.
2096
02:31:29,572 --> 02:31:32,484
My father used to recommend
hanging from a door.
2097
02:31:34,172 --> 02:31:35,082
Hmm.
2098
02:31:40,212 --> 02:31:42,646
We really ought to be going.
2099
02:31:43,572 --> 02:31:47,201
l don't suppose you'd be interested
in selling the Luggage?
2100
02:31:48,332 --> 02:31:50,641
Oh, no, l couldn't possibly do that.
2101
02:31:50,732 --> 02:31:54,122
l was looking for a present for Bethan,
you see.
2102
02:31:54,412 --> 02:31:55,765
We're getting married.
2103
02:31:56,932 --> 02:31:57,921
That's great.
2104
02:31:58,012 --> 02:31:59,491
We thought you ought to be
the first to know.
2105
02:31:59,572 --> 02:32:02,450
-That's very...
-This is cause for celebration.
2106
02:32:02,532 --> 02:32:06,889
l'm pretty sure l have some travel
biscuits and water in my Luggage.
2107
02:32:13,692 --> 02:32:17,605
You, er... You serious
about getting married?
2108
02:32:17,692 --> 02:32:20,923
-Any objections?
-Oh, no. No, no, no.
2109
02:32:21,012 --> 02:32:24,482
No, l was just thinking,
you know, that she's
2110
02:32:25,572 --> 02:32:30,965
in her twenties,
and you are of the elderly persuasion.
2111
02:32:31,412 --> 02:32:32,970
Time l settled down, you mean?
2112
02:32:33,052 --> 02:32:37,250
No, l was thinking more of the, um,
2113
02:32:37,332 --> 02:32:40,563
physically, the age difference.
2114
02:32:41,052 --> 02:32:43,407
About, um...
2115
02:32:43,492 --> 02:32:46,404
Oh, l see what you mean.
2116
02:32:47,772 --> 02:32:49,524
The strain.
2117
02:32:49,612 --> 02:32:51,603
l hadn't looked at it like that.
2118
02:32:51,692 --> 02:32:53,887
l hope l haven't upset anything.
2119
02:32:53,972 --> 02:32:56,850
Oh, no, no, no, don't apologise.
2120
02:32:56,932 --> 02:32:59,207
You were right to point it out.
2121
02:33:00,612 --> 02:33:05,686
You know, sometimes,
you just have to take risks.
2122
02:33:06,332 --> 02:33:09,529
Now, don't be offended, but l think
we'll go ahead with the wedding
2123
02:33:09,612 --> 02:33:15,050
anyway and, er, well,
just have to hope she's strong enough.
2124
02:33:16,572 --> 02:33:19,370
Will we get to Ankh-Morpork by dawn?
2125
02:33:19,452 --> 02:33:20,805
Absolutely.
2126
02:33:25,412 --> 02:33:30,930
Right, who wants to learn
how to row a ferry to Ankh-Morpork?
2127
02:33:33,372 --> 02:33:35,363
(GROWLlNG)
2128
02:33:55,452 --> 02:33:57,568
(SNARLS )
2129
02:34:06,612 --> 02:34:09,490
The reason that l have
gathered you here today
2130
02:34:10,012 --> 02:34:12,924
is to announce that
there will be a meeting
2131
02:34:13,932 --> 02:34:15,888
with an agenda.
2132
02:34:15,972 --> 02:34:19,009
With just one item on it.
2133
02:34:19,852 --> 02:34:21,285
An agendum.
2134
02:34:23,732 --> 02:34:25,085
l'm sorry?
2135
02:34:25,932 --> 02:34:28,127
We're assuming that this must be
to do with the news
2136
02:34:28,212 --> 02:34:31,329
that your hero has failed
to capture Rincewind.
2137
02:34:31,412 --> 02:34:35,200
l don't recall you being minuted to talk!
2138
02:34:42,012 --> 02:34:47,291
There will be a meeting
to consult the Octavo.
2139
02:34:49,132 --> 02:34:52,124
With only seven spells?
2140
02:34:52,212 --> 02:34:56,364
Are you sure that's wise, Arch Chancellor?
2141
02:34:57,852 --> 02:35:01,128
We have gone beyond wisdom.
2142
02:35:05,132 --> 02:35:07,248
(PEOPLE SHOUTlNG)
2143
02:35:07,972 --> 02:35:10,042
Ankh-Morpork.
2144
02:35:10,132 --> 02:35:11,804
Pearl among cities.
2145
02:35:12,572 --> 02:35:16,611
There's no city in the multiverse
that can rival Ankh-Morpork for its smell.
2146
02:35:16,692 --> 02:35:18,205
(SHOUTlNG)
2147
02:35:18,292 --> 02:35:21,284
(SCREAMlNG)
2148
02:35:21,372 --> 02:35:24,125
RlNCEWlND: Look. Come on.
2149
02:35:29,132 --> 02:35:31,965
MAN: Wizard, why have you let us down?
2150
02:35:33,212 --> 02:35:35,601
What's he doing?
2151
02:35:37,412 --> 02:35:40,085
This is what l've been looking for.
2152
02:35:40,172 --> 02:35:41,571
We'll join you shortly.
2153
02:35:41,652 --> 02:35:44,962
-What, a jewellers?
-lt's a surprise.
2154
02:35:47,732 --> 02:35:51,566
You wait here, Bethan.
2155
02:35:57,332 --> 02:35:59,766
Excuse me. Why is everyone leaving?
2156
02:35:59,852 --> 02:36:04,289
The star is gonna crash into the Disc.
We're all gonna burn up and die.
2157
02:36:08,252 --> 02:36:10,083
(lN TWO VOlCES ) The star is life,
not death.
2158
02:36:10,172 --> 02:36:11,161
What?
2159
02:36:11,892 --> 02:36:14,452
-What, what?
-Your voice, it just went all crackly.
2160
02:36:14,532 --> 02:36:18,730
-lt didn't sound like you.
-lt's the spell, it's trying to take me over.
2161
02:36:19,852 --> 02:36:22,764
lt knows what's going to happen.
2162
02:36:22,852 --> 02:36:26,288
Why are they painting all the stars?
They think it'll ward it off or something?
2163
02:36:26,372 --> 02:36:30,888
No, that's not gonna work.
l think l know what will. Come on.
2164
02:36:30,972 --> 02:36:32,405
MAN: lt's massive! Move!
2165
02:36:33,772 --> 02:36:38,562
The strangest thing l've ever made.
But practical, l'll give you that.
2166
02:36:38,652 --> 02:36:41,530
What did you say they were called again?
2167
02:36:43,732 --> 02:36:47,771
Den-chewers. Made from trolls' teeth.
2168
02:36:47,852 --> 02:36:49,410
(GASPS )
2169
02:36:50,732 --> 02:36:53,690
This is Bethan, my betrothed.
2170
02:36:53,772 --> 02:36:56,889
ls there anywhere round here
where l can get a wedding dress?
2171
02:36:56,972 --> 02:36:58,291
(SOUEALS )
2172
02:36:58,372 --> 02:37:00,010
And a steak.
2173
02:37:08,252 --> 02:37:10,607
What are... What are you doing?
2174
02:37:10,692 --> 02:37:13,126
Ridding the Disc of wickedness.
2175
02:37:18,812 --> 02:37:21,929
That's the Necrotelicomnicon.
2176
02:37:22,012 --> 02:37:26,369
Yes. Wizards use it to contact the dead.
2177
02:37:27,212 --> 02:37:30,363
How did you know that?
2178
02:37:30,452 --> 02:37:33,250
Oh, l just, you know, just guessed.
2179
02:37:34,012 --> 02:37:38,244
He's got a big box on legs.
He looks like a wizard.
2180
02:37:44,652 --> 02:37:46,643
(GROWLlNG)
2181
02:37:53,452 --> 02:37:58,446
Gentlemen, the light fantastic!
2182
02:38:00,652 --> 02:38:04,440
We're safe, so long as
we don't touch the book.
2183
02:38:07,892 --> 02:38:09,530
Let's see.
2184
02:38:14,132 --> 02:38:18,762
To appease it,
the thing that is the guardian,
2185
02:38:19,772 --> 02:38:24,209
be silenced and return to the darkness.
2186
02:38:34,692 --> 02:38:36,171
(SNARLS )
2187
02:38:36,972 --> 02:38:40,681
Oh, what am l talking about?
l can't do magic.
2188
02:38:41,092 --> 02:38:45,165
What? When l look at you,
all l see is a wizard.
2189
02:38:45,972 --> 02:38:47,166
-Wizard?
-Yes.
2190
02:38:47,252 --> 02:38:49,846
-You're a wizard. Act like it.
-Act like it?
2191
02:38:49,932 --> 02:38:50,921
Yeah.
2192
02:38:51,372 --> 02:38:55,763
All right, stand back
or l'll fill you full of magic!
2193
02:38:55,852 --> 02:38:59,970
All the magic's gone.
The star's taken it away.
2194
02:39:00,052 --> 02:39:01,167
l mean it.
2195
02:39:02,332 --> 02:39:03,845
Ashonti
2196
02:39:03,932 --> 02:39:05,968
perucha
2197
02:39:07,612 --> 02:39:09,409
bealzeboar!
2198
02:39:09,492 --> 02:39:11,084
(CRACKLlNG)
2199
02:39:11,852 --> 02:39:13,001
(ALL GASP)
2200
02:39:13,092 --> 02:39:14,684
Oh!
2201
02:39:18,572 --> 02:39:20,802
Right, that's far enough!
We're heavily armed.
2202
02:39:20,892 --> 02:39:22,530
-What about.
-What?
2203
02:39:23,412 --> 02:39:24,561
Where is the Luggage?
2204
02:39:24,652 --> 02:39:25,767
Where's your Luggage?
2205
02:39:25,852 --> 02:39:27,683
Well, l often don't know
where my Luggage is,
2206
02:39:27,772 --> 02:39:30,491
that's what being a tourist is all about.
2207
02:39:31,612 --> 02:39:35,969
Right. l have a wizard
and l'm not afraid to use him.
2208
02:39:36,052 --> 02:39:38,566
(MOANS )
2209
02:39:41,452 --> 02:39:43,443
(ALL SCREAM)
2210
02:40:17,452 --> 02:40:19,090
To the Great Hall, gentlemen.
2211
02:40:19,172 --> 02:40:20,400
(MOANlNG)
2212
02:40:20,492 --> 02:40:21,720
(GROANlNG)
2213
02:40:23,172 --> 02:40:25,481
(MUFFLED SHOUTS )
2214
02:40:26,052 --> 02:40:27,405
WlZARDS: He's locked it!
2215
02:40:27,492 --> 02:40:29,005
(CHUCKLES )
2216
02:40:56,852 --> 02:40:58,683
The star has spots on it.
2217
02:40:58,772 --> 02:41:01,650
No, they're not spots, they are...
2218
02:41:01,732 --> 02:41:05,168
They're things.
Things that go round the... Round the star.
2219
02:41:05,252 --> 02:41:07,846
Like the sun goes round the Disc.
2220
02:41:07,932 --> 02:41:12,005
-They're closer because... Because...
-They're definitely spots.
2221
02:41:12,092 --> 02:41:13,605
-Yeah.
-Come on. Ah!
2222
02:41:13,692 --> 02:41:16,411
(CHANTlNG) False wizards must die!
2223
02:41:16,492 --> 02:41:19,404
-False wizards must die!
-Come on, let's go.
2224
02:41:19,492 --> 02:41:24,202
False wizards must die!
False wizards must die!
2225
02:41:24,292 --> 02:41:28,205
False wizards must die!
False wizards must die!
2226
02:41:28,292 --> 02:41:32,080
False wizards must die!
False wizards must die!
2227
02:41:32,172 --> 02:41:36,609
False wizards must die!
False wizards must die!
2228
02:41:38,532 --> 02:41:40,523
(WlZARDS SHOUTlNG)
2229
02:41:45,172 --> 02:41:49,290
(WHlSPERlNG) Come on.
The lower cellars are this way.
2230
02:41:59,572 --> 02:42:01,005
(WHEEZlNG)
2231
02:42:01,092 --> 02:42:03,970
Anything that wheezes like
that can't possibly be dangerous.
2232
02:42:04,052 --> 02:42:05,770
Don't look back.
2233
02:42:06,892 --> 02:42:08,803
MAN 1 : ls anyone out there?
2234
02:42:10,292 --> 02:42:12,408
MAN 2: Please!
2235
02:42:13,892 --> 02:42:15,450
-Hello?
-Who's there?
2236
02:42:15,532 --> 02:42:17,045
Argh!
2237
02:42:17,132 --> 02:42:19,805
(NERVOUSLY) lt's Rincewind.
2238
02:42:19,892 --> 02:42:21,883
(ALL SlGH)
2239
02:42:23,652 --> 02:42:27,281
(CONFlDENTLY)
Yes, that's right, it's Rincewind.
2240
02:42:27,372 --> 02:42:30,489
-Rincewind.
-Did you bring the spell?
2241
02:42:30,572 --> 02:42:33,245
Er, yes. Who's in there?
2242
02:42:33,332 --> 02:42:35,209
The masters of wizardry.
2243
02:42:35,292 --> 02:42:39,205
(GASPS ) The masters!
Why are you in there?
2244
02:42:39,292 --> 02:42:43,046
-We got locked in.
-What, with the Octavo?
2245
02:42:43,132 --> 02:42:46,329
The Octavo, in fact, is not here.
2246
02:42:46,412 --> 02:42:48,642
Oh. Oh, right.
2247
02:42:49,612 --> 02:42:53,082
Now, look, this is going
to need a bit of magic,
2248
02:42:53,172 --> 02:42:57,643
so, be a good fellow,
run along and find a wizard.
2249
02:42:57,732 --> 02:43:00,292
Run along and find a wizard?
2250
02:43:01,452 --> 02:43:03,966
All right, stand back.
2251
02:43:04,052 --> 02:43:07,965
-Find something to hide behind.
-What for?
2252
02:43:08,052 --> 02:43:11,249
Oh, he means it. You see that vein
bulging in his forehead?
2253
02:43:11,332 --> 02:43:14,529
-He's serious.
-Will you shut up?
2254
02:43:15,172 --> 02:43:17,402
Right.
2255
02:43:21,812 --> 02:43:23,803
(GRUNTS )
2256
02:43:45,652 --> 02:43:47,643
(GASPS )
2257
02:43:55,172 --> 02:43:56,241
Ha !
2258
02:43:56,332 --> 02:43:58,243
(LAUGHS )
2259
02:43:59,732 --> 02:44:02,724
Did you see Trymon
on the way down here?
2260
02:44:02,812 --> 02:44:04,609
No. Why?
2261
02:44:04,692 --> 02:44:07,923
Because he's stolen the Octavo.
2262
02:44:08,012 --> 02:44:09,206
Oh.
2263
02:44:09,692 --> 02:44:12,604
-Him.
-l always said he'd go a long way.
2264
02:44:12,692 --> 02:44:14,887
He'll go a lot further if he opens that book.
2265
02:44:14,972 --> 02:44:17,406
Why? What will happen?
2266
02:44:17,492 --> 02:44:21,883
Well, one mind can't hold all the spells.
2267
02:44:21,972 --> 02:44:25,931
-lt'll break down and leave a hole.
-ln his head?
2268
02:44:26,012 --> 02:44:30,369
Um, no, in the fabric of the universe.
2269
02:44:30,452 --> 02:44:33,250
He might think he can control it
by himself but...
2270
02:44:33,332 --> 02:44:36,210
But he hasn't got the spell in your head.
2271
02:44:36,292 --> 02:44:37,327
So...
2272
02:44:37,412 --> 02:44:38,891
(CREAKlNG)
2273
02:44:38,972 --> 02:44:40,963
(SCREAMlNG)
2274
02:44:44,212 --> 02:44:45,247
Come on!
2275
02:44:45,332 --> 02:44:47,323
(SCREAMlNG)
2276
02:45:01,892 --> 02:45:05,601
He's done it. He's opened a pathway.
2277
02:45:05,692 --> 02:45:08,889
-Are those things demons?
-Demons would be a picnic
2278
02:45:08,972 --> 02:45:11,611
compared with what's trying
to come through up there!
2279
02:45:11,692 --> 02:45:14,411
What do you propose to do about it?
2280
02:45:14,492 --> 02:45:17,564
Oh, it's all over, do you see?
2281
02:45:17,652 --> 02:45:23,124
You can't put the spells back in the book.
You can't unsay what has been said.
2282
02:45:23,212 --> 02:45:24,611
You can try.
2283
02:45:36,732 --> 02:45:38,723
(SCREAMS )
2284
02:45:42,452 --> 02:45:44,044
No!
2285
02:45:44,492 --> 02:45:46,210
Get out of my way!
2286
02:45:46,292 --> 02:45:47,771
What?
2287
02:45:47,852 --> 02:45:49,843
(PEOPLE SCREAMlNG)
2288
02:45:56,052 --> 02:46:01,490
Wait! Hold it, hold it.
Listen, you don't understand.
2289
02:46:02,332 --> 02:46:04,766
There's unimaginable horrors up there.
2290
02:46:04,852 --> 02:46:07,810
l've always wanted to do something
like this. l mean,
2291
02:46:08,412 --> 02:46:10,209
this is an adventure, isn't it?
2292
02:46:10,692 --> 02:46:12,683
You are definitely mad.
2293
02:46:16,292 --> 02:46:17,327
Shh.
2294
02:46:17,412 --> 02:46:18,481
(SlLENCE)
2295
02:46:18,572 --> 02:46:20,085
lt's stopped.
2296
02:46:29,692 --> 02:46:30,761
Huh.
2297
02:46:39,332 --> 02:46:42,051
They're blank.
They're all completely blank.
2298
02:46:42,132 --> 02:46:44,771
Then he did it, he's read the spells.
2299
02:46:44,852 --> 02:46:46,683
Successfully, too.
2300
02:46:46,772 --> 02:46:50,685
l think we should go up and, um,
congratulate him.
2301
02:46:50,772 --> 02:46:54,048
-Congratulate him?
-When you're advanced in the craft, lad,
2302
02:46:54,132 --> 02:46:58,489
you'll find, at times,
the important thing is success.
2303
02:46:58,572 --> 02:47:01,530
That's no way to treat a book.
The spine's bent right back.
2304
02:47:02,412 --> 02:47:05,768
Give me that. A lad, am l? Huh!
2305
02:47:05,852 --> 02:47:08,764
''When l'm advanced in the craft''?
l've only been walking around
2306
02:47:08,852 --> 02:47:12,003
for years with one of the greatest
spells in my head.
2307
02:47:12,092 --> 02:47:15,164
And didn't go totally insane, did l?
No, you didn't.
2308
02:47:19,892 --> 02:47:22,850
-Where are the other wizards?
-TRYMON: Ah!
2309
02:47:22,932 --> 02:47:26,481
Rincewind. Join us, won't you?
2310
02:47:41,892 --> 02:47:44,326
The eighth spell.
2311
02:47:46,612 --> 02:47:48,091
Give it to me.
2312
02:47:52,612 --> 02:47:55,046
Give me
2313
02:47:57,692 --> 02:47:59,284
the spell!
2314
02:48:00,772 --> 02:48:03,240
No. You'll have to try and take it.
2315
02:48:03,652 --> 02:48:05,688
And l don't think you can!
2316
02:48:06,412 --> 02:48:07,606
Oh.
2317
02:48:08,212 --> 02:48:10,123
But l only have to kill you,
2318
02:48:10,212 --> 02:48:12,043
(WHlMPERS )
2319
02:48:12,132 --> 02:48:13,645
and it is mine.
2320
02:48:19,932 --> 02:48:22,446
(GROANlNG)
2321
02:48:28,492 --> 02:48:30,289
(GRUNTS )
2322
02:48:41,172 --> 02:48:44,323
-These statues look like wizards!
-They are the wizards!
2323
02:48:44,412 --> 02:48:46,642
They are?
2324
02:48:49,452 --> 02:48:50,726
They were!
2325
02:48:55,252 --> 02:49:00,007
There are worse things.
l could clothe your body with ants.
2326
02:49:00,092 --> 02:49:02,128
-Ooh.
-l have the power...
2327
02:49:02,212 --> 02:49:04,248
Hey! l have a sword, you know.
2328
02:49:07,372 --> 02:49:08,885
(GRUNTS )
2329
02:49:08,972 --> 02:49:10,246
(ZAPPlNG)
2330
02:49:10,332 --> 02:49:11,367
Ooh!
2331
02:49:11,452 --> 02:49:13,124
(LAUGHS )
2332
02:49:13,212 --> 02:49:15,203
Ah! Pathetic!
2333
02:49:15,292 --> 02:49:17,647
Pathetic? l'll show you pathetic.
2334
02:49:27,372 --> 02:49:29,567
Hey. Hello?
2335
02:49:32,852 --> 02:49:35,844
Rincewind, where's the sword? l'll get it.
2336
02:49:43,172 --> 02:49:46,369
(SCREAMlNG)
2337
02:49:47,452 --> 02:49:48,567
(LAUGHS )
2338
02:49:48,652 --> 02:49:50,165
(GRUNTS )
2339
02:49:53,252 --> 02:49:57,325
l have to warn you
that l'm a real wizard now.
2340
02:49:57,412 --> 02:50:02,611
Then, join your fellow wizards,
you turgid little worm !
2341
02:50:02,692 --> 02:50:06,605
-l have no need of you now.
-TWOFLOWER: Oh, there it is.
2342
02:50:06,692 --> 02:50:09,729
Come! The little spell.
2343
02:50:09,812 --> 02:50:11,325
(GRUNTS )
2344
02:50:11,412 --> 02:50:13,243
Unto me!
2345
02:50:16,252 --> 02:50:19,688
-No! No!
-Now what? Oh, right!
2346
02:50:27,372 --> 02:50:28,964
(GRUNTS )
2347
02:50:29,812 --> 02:50:32,007
(GROANlNG)
2348
02:50:36,372 --> 02:50:37,441
(GRUNTS )
2349
02:50:37,532 --> 02:50:38,726
(METAL CLANGS )
2350
02:50:38,812 --> 02:50:39,961
(VlBRATES )
2351
02:50:55,132 --> 02:50:57,282
l suppose they're the spells.
2352
02:50:58,412 --> 02:51:02,087
-RlNCEWlND: Twoflower?
-Yes?
2353
02:51:02,172 --> 02:51:05,881
ls that... ls that you, Rincewind?
2354
02:51:05,972 --> 02:51:12,207
Yes. And l want you to do something
very important for me, Twoflower.
2355
02:51:12,292 --> 02:51:15,728
Yes. l'm... l'm ready.
2356
02:51:15,812 --> 02:51:18,372
What is it you want me to do?
2357
02:51:18,452 --> 02:51:21,569
l want you to come over here,
2358
02:51:21,652 --> 02:51:27,010
and help me up,
before my hand slips off this stone.
2359
02:51:29,772 --> 02:51:31,524
(GASPS )
2360
02:51:31,612 --> 02:51:34,365
-l'm glad you're alive.
-Yes, so am l.
2361
02:51:34,452 --> 02:51:38,161
Yes. Could you...
Could you now help me up?
2362
02:51:38,252 --> 02:51:41,927
-That might be a little difficult.
-Why? What are you holding onto?
2363
02:51:42,012 --> 02:51:44,526
-To you!
-Oh. Me.
2364
02:51:44,612 --> 02:51:48,525
-Besides me!
-What do you mean, besides you?
2365
02:51:48,852 --> 02:51:51,047
Oh. Oh, bugger.
2366
02:51:51,132 --> 02:51:54,124
l don't know why it is,
but ever since l've met you,
2367
02:51:54,212 --> 02:51:58,330
l've spent a lot of my time
hanging on by my fingertips
2368
02:51:58,412 --> 02:52:01,643
over certain depths.
Have you noticed that?
2369
02:52:01,732 --> 02:52:03,450
(GASPS )
2370
02:52:04,892 --> 02:52:09,124
Oh! Oh, it's you! Oh, no, not again!
2371
02:52:09,732 --> 02:52:11,643
No! No!
2372
02:52:13,412 --> 02:52:15,243
(SCREAMS )
2373
02:52:15,852 --> 02:52:17,080
(GRUNTS )
2374
02:52:18,692 --> 02:52:20,284
(GASPS )
2375
02:52:22,012 --> 02:52:27,291
DEATH: l think l just had another
near-Rincewind experience.
2376
02:52:29,572 --> 02:52:32,644
A little bit earlier would have been nice.
2377
02:52:52,052 --> 02:52:55,727
COHEN: Funny place to put statues.
No one can see them.
2378
02:52:55,812 --> 02:52:59,043
Mind you, can't say they're up to much.
2379
02:52:59,132 --> 02:53:00,645
Very poor work.
2380
02:53:15,252 --> 02:53:20,565
This is where we say goodbye.
2381
02:53:23,932 --> 02:53:25,206
Out!
2382
02:53:26,092 --> 02:53:27,684
(GRUNTS )
2383
02:53:27,772 --> 02:53:29,251
(GROANS )
2384
02:53:39,212 --> 02:53:40,930
(GRUNTS )
2385
02:53:41,012 --> 02:53:43,207
(GASPS )
2386
02:53:50,652 --> 02:53:54,167
What's he doing now? Bloody old fool.
2387
02:53:55,172 --> 02:53:58,244
(WHlSPERS lNCANTATlON)
2388
02:54:05,892 --> 02:54:09,248
-lsn't all this magic exciting?
-lt's only lights.
2389
02:54:09,932 --> 02:54:13,720
He hasn't even produced doves or
billiard balls out of his sleeves.
2390
02:54:13,812 --> 02:54:16,690
(CONTlNUES TO WHlSPER lNCANTATlON)
2391
02:54:23,332 --> 02:54:25,687
(GASPS )
2392
02:54:29,012 --> 02:54:30,764
ls that it?
2393
02:54:30,852 --> 02:54:33,605
(RATTLlNG)
2394
02:55:19,572 --> 02:55:22,166
RlNCEWlND: New worlds!
2395
02:55:51,092 --> 02:55:54,084
(TURTLES MOAN AFFECTlONATELY)
2396
02:55:54,172 --> 02:55:55,924
TWOFLOWER: Must get a picture of this.
2397
02:55:57,292 --> 02:55:59,362
l might forget.
2398
02:56:01,412 --> 02:56:03,562
BETHAN: How could you ever forget?
2399
02:56:05,092 --> 02:56:08,129
lt's the most beautiful thing
l've ever seen in my life.
2400
02:56:09,092 --> 02:56:11,447
Got it!
2401
02:56:14,652 --> 02:56:17,086
That's old Twoflower for you.
2402
02:56:19,092 --> 02:56:22,926
He just appreciates beauty
in his own way.
2403
02:56:25,012 --> 02:56:28,721
l mean, if a poet sees a daffodil,
2404
02:56:30,052 --> 02:56:33,965
he stares at it,
and then writes a long poem.
2405
02:56:34,052 --> 02:56:38,170
But Twoflower would wander off
and buy a book on botany,
2406
02:56:38,252 --> 02:56:43,167
and then, as he reads it,
he would tread on the daffodil.
2407
02:57:04,572 --> 02:57:05,721
The star!
2408
02:57:05,812 --> 02:57:07,086
(MUTTERS FRANTlCALLY)
2409
02:57:07,172 --> 02:57:10,323
lt's getting smaller.
2410
02:57:24,852 --> 02:57:26,171
Oh!
2411
02:57:44,132 --> 02:57:45,804
lt's like a sea of gold!
2412
02:57:47,292 --> 02:57:50,125
Golden syrup, more like.
2413
02:57:52,252 --> 02:57:57,451
NARRA TOR: That is a nice dramatic ending.
But Iife doesn't work Iike that,
2414
02:57:57,532 --> 02:58:00,330
and there are other things
that have to happen.
2415
02:58:00,412 --> 02:58:05,167
There is the Octavo, for exampIe,
and many of the observers reaIised
2416
02:58:05,252 --> 02:58:09,484
that dropping towards them
is the singIe most magicaI thing
2417
02:58:09,572 --> 02:58:11,244
on the DiscworId.
2418
02:58:11,532 --> 02:58:13,727
(ALL CLAMOURlNG)
2419
02:58:13,812 --> 02:58:17,122
-Okay? Right. Come on.
-Oh, dear.
2420
02:58:19,012 --> 02:58:23,324
NARRA TOR: Later, TwofIower did ask the
Luggage what it had done with the Octavo.
2421
02:58:23,412 --> 02:58:27,291
But its expression
couId onIy be described as.. .
2422
02:58:27,372 --> 02:58:28,521
What are they doing now?
2423
02:58:28,612 --> 02:58:29,681
NARRA TOR: .. .wooden.
2424
02:58:29,772 --> 02:58:32,730
They're trying to open the Luggage.
Come on!
2425
02:58:33,052 --> 02:58:36,089
(CHATTERlNG)
2426
02:58:38,932 --> 02:58:40,047
(SlGHS )
2427
02:58:41,652 --> 02:58:43,449
lt's a nice day.
2428
02:58:44,612 --> 02:58:46,603
Air like wine!
2429
02:58:47,212 --> 02:58:51,444
-Rincewind, l've decided...
-You know, l think l might re-enrol.
2430
02:58:51,532 --> 02:58:57,209
l think l could make a good go of this
magic thing, and graduate very well.
2431
02:58:57,292 --> 02:59:01,763
Because they do say that
if it's summa cum laude,
2432
02:59:01,852 --> 02:59:04,685
then, the living is easy!
2433
02:59:04,772 --> 02:59:05,887
That's good, because...
2434
02:59:05,972 --> 02:59:07,883
And, of course,
there's plenty of room up top,
2435
02:59:07,972 --> 02:59:12,250
now that the big boys
are on doorstep duty.
2436
02:59:12,332 --> 02:59:15,449
-Will they be able to be turned back?
-Er...
2437
02:59:15,532 --> 02:59:17,409
(HOOTS lN ALARM)
2438
02:59:17,492 --> 02:59:19,164
Probably not.
2439
02:59:21,092 --> 02:59:23,083
Will they be able to do something
with Trymon?
2440
02:59:23,172 --> 02:59:26,369
Yes! He'll make a very nice rockery.
2441
02:59:27,612 --> 02:59:30,126
Go on! You go and sort this all out.
2442
02:59:30,212 --> 02:59:32,680
(GRUNTS ENTHUSlASTlCALLY)
2443
02:59:32,972 --> 02:59:35,645
l think l could do very well
with this magic lark.
2444
02:59:35,732 --> 02:59:39,008
-The thing is, l'm going home.
-And a sharp lad,
2445
02:59:39,092 --> 02:59:43,085
who's had some experience
of the world, could quite easily...
2446
02:59:43,892 --> 02:59:47,282
-Sorry. What did you say?
-l said, l'm going home.
2447
02:59:47,932 --> 02:59:49,160
What home?
2448
02:59:49,252 --> 02:59:53,131
Home, home. Back across the sea,
where l live. You know!
2449
02:59:54,572 --> 02:59:57,211
-Oh!
-lt occurred to me last night,
2450
02:59:57,292 --> 03:00:00,284
all this travelling and seeing things is fine,
2451
03:00:00,372 --> 03:00:03,091
but there's a lot of fun to be had
in having been.
2452
03:00:03,932 --> 03:00:08,801
You know, putting your pictures in a book,
remembering things.
2453
03:00:10,612 --> 03:00:14,207
-There is?
-Oh, yeah. And the important thing
2454
03:00:14,292 --> 03:00:16,248
about having a lot of things to remember
2455
03:00:16,332 --> 03:00:19,005
is that you have to have
some place to go afterwards
2456
03:00:19,092 --> 03:00:23,244
where you can remember them.
You haven't really been anywhere
2457
03:00:23,332 --> 03:00:24,845
until you've got back home.
2458
03:00:25,492 --> 03:00:28,290
(WOMEN SHOUT lN MARKETPLACE)
2459
03:00:28,372 --> 03:00:30,442
Oh, good.
2460
03:00:31,692 --> 03:00:37,688
Well, if that's the way you see it,
when are you going?
2461
03:00:38,972 --> 03:00:42,487
Today, l think. There's bound to be
a ship going part of the way.
2462
03:00:43,532 --> 03:00:47,081
Yes, l... l expect so.
2463
03:00:54,212 --> 03:00:56,601
That settles it.
He'll drop me at the Brown lslands,
2464
03:00:56,692 --> 03:00:59,081
and l can easily get a ship from there.
2465
03:01:01,012 --> 03:01:02,127
Oh, well. Great.
2466
03:01:03,332 --> 03:01:05,402
-Ahem !
-Oh!
2467
03:01:05,492 --> 03:01:07,881
-You found a priest, then.
-Yes.
2468
03:01:08,332 --> 03:01:11,768
And Cohen didn't even try to kill
him for his valuables.
2469
03:01:12,612 --> 03:01:13,931
lt's a great dress.
2470
03:01:14,012 --> 03:01:17,971
Thank you. l stole it myself.
2471
03:01:18,932 --> 03:01:20,650
Oh.
2472
03:01:24,452 --> 03:01:27,171
Look, this is for you two.
2473
03:01:29,932 --> 03:01:30,967
Oh!
2474
03:01:31,052 --> 03:01:33,168
l know it can be expensive,
setting up home.
2475
03:01:34,252 --> 03:01:36,766
Or a small kingdom, even.
2476
03:01:36,852 --> 03:01:38,570
(GROWLS )
2477
03:01:45,572 --> 03:01:47,847
l've also thought about
something l can give you.
2478
03:01:47,932 --> 03:01:52,244
Oh! Really, no. You don't have to.
2479
03:01:55,612 --> 03:01:58,172
lt's all yours. l don't need it any more,
2480
03:01:58,252 --> 03:02:00,686
and it won't really fit on my wardrobe.
2481
03:02:00,772 --> 03:02:01,761
What?
2482
03:02:04,532 --> 03:02:07,000
The Luggage! Don't you want it?
2483
03:02:07,092 --> 03:02:09,526
Oh! Luggage!
2484
03:02:09,612 --> 03:02:11,250
(LAUGHS ) Ah.
2485
03:02:11,892 --> 03:02:13,291
Yes...
2486
03:02:13,372 --> 03:02:15,283
(STUTTERlNG)
2487
03:02:15,372 --> 03:02:18,569
But it's yours!
lt follows you. lt won't follow me.
2488
03:02:18,652 --> 03:02:20,563
Oh.
2489
03:02:20,812 --> 03:02:21,927
Luggage?
2490
03:02:22,012 --> 03:02:23,047
(CREAKS ATTENTlVELY)
2491
03:02:23,132 --> 03:02:25,692
This is Rincewind. You're his now, right?
2492
03:02:25,772 --> 03:02:27,205
(CREAKS )
2493
03:02:27,772 --> 03:02:29,922
(THUDS PROTESTlNGLY)
2494
03:02:30,772 --> 03:02:34,162
lt doesn't really belong to anyone
but itself, really.
2495
03:02:34,732 --> 03:02:36,563
Yes.
2496
03:02:41,092 --> 03:02:44,482
Well, l guess this is it.
2497
03:02:46,332 --> 03:02:48,323
Yes.
2498
03:02:48,412 --> 03:02:50,721
Goodbye, Rincewind. When l get home,
2499
03:02:50,812 --> 03:02:53,372
l'll send you a postcard or something.
2500
03:02:57,292 --> 03:02:59,852
-Oh, come here.
-Oh!
2501
03:03:06,212 --> 03:03:09,648
And anytime you're passing,
2502
03:03:10,972 --> 03:03:13,805
someone here is bound to know
where l am.
2503
03:03:14,412 --> 03:03:15,527
Yeah.
2504
03:03:19,972 --> 03:03:21,087
Well,
2505
03:03:23,452 --> 03:03:25,682
l guess that's about it, then.
2506
03:03:26,332 --> 03:03:29,210
Yes. That's about it, right enough.
2507
03:03:31,652 --> 03:03:33,005
Right.
2508
03:03:36,772 --> 03:03:38,046
Yeah.
2509
03:03:39,252 --> 03:03:40,605
Right.
2510
03:04:31,292 --> 03:04:33,931
(CREAKS )
2511
03:04:34,292 --> 03:04:37,045
No, no, no! Don't want you.
2512
03:04:37,132 --> 03:04:39,805
l give you to yourself. You understand?
2513
03:04:39,892 --> 03:04:41,848
(SOUEAKS PLAlNTlVELY)
2514
03:04:44,852 --> 03:04:47,525
l said l don't want you! Go!
2515
03:04:47,612 --> 03:04:49,489
Go away!
2516
03:04:52,972 --> 03:04:55,202
(WHlSTLES CHEERFULLY)
2517
03:04:55,532 --> 03:04:57,887
(STOPS WHlSTLlNG)
2518
03:04:57,972 --> 03:05:00,850
(LUGGAGE CREAKS SADLY)
2519
03:05:11,772 --> 03:05:14,605
All right! Come on.
2520
03:06:43,732 --> 03:06:47,725
So, does that mean
the star turtle's female, then?
2521
03:06:48,652 --> 03:06:54,090
Well, in my opinion,
it's all a question of perspective.