1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==- 2 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:39,413 There's a bunch of birds in the sky 3 00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:45,502 And some deers just went running by 4 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:48,630 Oh, the snow's pure and white 5 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:53,260 On the earth, rich and brown 6 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:56,513 Just another Sunday morning 7 00:00:56,598 --> 00:01:01,894 In my quiet mountain town 8 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,441 The sun is shining and the grass is green 9 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,735 Under the three feet of snow, I mean 10 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,238 This is the day when it's hard to wear a frown 11 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,491 All the happy people stop to say hello 12 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,575 Get out of my way! 13 00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,452 Even though the temperature's low 14 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:23,290 It's a perfect Sunday morning in my quiet little mountain town 15 00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:24,750 Well, good morning, Stan. 16 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,211 - Mom, can I have $8 to see a movie? - A movie? 17 00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:30,130 Yeah, it's gonna be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada! 18 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,340 All right, here you go. 19 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,051 - But be back for supper. - Thanks, Mom. 20 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,428 Oh, what a picture-perfect child 21 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,764 Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild 22 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:42,351 He'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown 23 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,145 What an angel with a heart so sweet and sure 24 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,397 And a mind so open and pure 25 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:51,860 Thank God we live in this quiet redneck mountain town 26 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,238 Dude! Dude, wake up! 27 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,867 Kenny, come on! 28 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,454 Kenny, the Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come? 29 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,583 Where do you think you're going? 30 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,586 You can't! You have to go to church! 31 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,714 Well, fine, you go ahead and miss church! 32 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:16,927 And then when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan! 33 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,389 You can see your breath hanging in the air 34 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,474 You see homeless people but you just don't care 35 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:26,395 It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown 36 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,651 That's right It's Sunday morning 37 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:36,989 In our quiet little white-bread redneck mountain town 38 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,243 - Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! - Don't kick the baby. 39 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,911 Kick the baby. 40 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:48,667 Ike, you broke another window! That's a bad baby! Bad baby! 41 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,378 Kyle, we're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie! 42 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:52,546 Oh, my God, dude! 43 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:55,507 - Kyle, where are you going? - We're going ice skating. 44 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,342 Well, take your little brother out with you. 45 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,469 Oh, Mom. He's not even my real brother. He's adopted! 46 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,762 Do as I say, Kyle! 47 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,723 Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! 48 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:08,604 Look at those frail and fragile boys It really gets me down 49 00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:13,025 The world is such a rotten place and city life's a complete disgrace 50 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,527 That's why I moved to this redneck, meshugana 51 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:21,158 Quiet mountain town 52 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:23,452 Ike! Bad baby! 53 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,704 This program is brought to you by Snacky Smores, 54 00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,873 the creamy fun of smores in a delightful cookie crunch. 55 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,708 Mom! Somebody's at the door! 56 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,169 - Coming, hon. - I can't see the TV! 57 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,421 It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed 58 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:35,714 by a pack of wild boars 59 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,591 and the world is still glad to be rid of him. 60 00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,469 - Look, Eric, it's your little friends. - Spider-Man! 61 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,763 What are you guys doing here? 62 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,641 Sweet, dude! Yes! Yes! 63 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,560 Off to the movies we shall go 64 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,230 Where we learn everything that we know 65 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:55,317 'Cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say 66 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:58,237 And this movie's gonna make our lives complete 67 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,530 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet 68 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,615 Super sweet. 69 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:06,495 Thank God we live in the quiet little redneck, Podunk, white-trash 70 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:11,291 U.S.A. 71 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:15,003 Can I have five tickets to Terrance and Phillip Asses of Fire? 72 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,129 No. 73 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,091 What do you mean, no? 74 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,301 Terrance and Phillip Asses of Fire has been rated R 75 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,303 by the Motion Picture Association ofAmerica. 76 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,389 You have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian. 77 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,765 - But why? - Because this movie 78 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:27,849 has naughty language! 79 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,559 Next, please. 80 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,230 - This can't be happening! - We have to see this movie, dude! 81 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,107 Screw it! It probably isn't all that good anyway. 82 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,484 Cartman, what are you talking about? You love Terrance and Phillip! 83 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,237 Yeah, but the animations all crappy. 84 00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,407 Wait, I've got an idea! 85 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:47,119 Hi, I want six tickets to Asses of Fire. 86 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,579 This movie might not be appropriate for your little ones. 87 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,873 Hey, he says this movie isn't appropriate for you. 88 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,959 Look, Mr. Homeless Guy, if you don't wanna buy us tickets 89 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,295 and not get your 10 bucks and not go buy yourself a bottle of vodka, 90 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,379 then be my guest. 91 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,256 Six tickets, please. 92 00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,761 - Let me have some candy, Cartman. - Let's see. 93 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,388 Nope, I don't have any Jewish candy. 94 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,516 Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy! 95 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,476 The movie's starting. 96 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:16,315 Hooray! 97 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,358 Say, Terrance, what did the Spanish priest 98 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,277 say to the Iranian gynecologist? 99 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,529 I don't know, Phillip. What? 100 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,158 Where do they come up with this stuff? 101 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,869 You're such a pig fucker, Phillip! 102 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:29,995 What did he say? 103 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,414 Terrance, why would you call me a pig fucker? 104 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:35,292 Let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs. 105 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,752 Oh, yeah! 106 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:39,921 Yeah. Fuck my ass and call me a bitch! 107 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,467 - You shit-faced cockmaster! - Wow! 108 00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,427 "Shit-faced cockmaster." 109 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,179 Listen, you donkey-raping shit-eater! 110 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,348 "Donkey-raping shit-eater." 111 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,769 - You'd fuck your uncle. - You'd fuck your uncle! 112 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,605 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka 113 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,441 You're a cock-sucking, ass-licking uncle fucka 114 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:02,527 You're an uncle fucka, yes, it's true Nobody fucks uncles quite like you 115 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,030 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka 116 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,991 You're the one that fucked your uncle Uncle fucka 117 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:12,704 You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn You just fuck your uncle all day long 118 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,800 What's going on here? 119 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,095 What garbage. 120 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:31,098 Well, what do you expect? They're Canadian. 121 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:38,397 Uncle fucka! Uncle fucka! Uncle fucka! 122 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,817 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka 123 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,611 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle fucka 124 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,196 You're an uncle fucka, I must say 125 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,198 You fucked your uncle yesterday 126 00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:49,491 Uncle fucka 127 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,785 That's U-N-C-L-E 128 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,621 Fuck you, uncle fucka! 129 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:55,747 Suck my balls. 130 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,254 Dude, that movie was fucking sweet! 131 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,089 You bet your fucking ass it was! 132 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:05,924 Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrance and Phillip. 133 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,427 Hey, wait a minute! Where's your guardian? 134 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:12,305 I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in, didn't you? 135 00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:16,059 - Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater! - Yeah! 136 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,270 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka 137 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:21,022 You're an ass-licking, ball-sucking uncle fucka 138 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,867 Hey, where have you guys been all day? 139 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,912 Nowhere. We just went to go see the Terrance and Phillip movie. 140 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,414 - You saw it? - How'd you get in? 141 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:40,375 Hey, stop crowding us, you shit-faced cockmasters! 142 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,626 Wow. 143 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:45,172 Yeah. You're all a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers. 144 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,132 We have got to see this movie, dude. 145 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,802 Terrance and Phillip are Canadian, just like my brother. 146 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,806 There's the girl that I like 147 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,975 Hey, Stan, tell them about when Terrance called Phillip 148 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,643 a testicle-shitting rectal wart. 149 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:02,105 Now more than ever she gives me butterfiies 150 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,859 It makes my stomach queasy every time she walks by 151 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,569 Asshole, I'm talking to you. 152 00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,780 I know I can be cool if I try 153 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,574 Hi, Stan. 154 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,075 Gross! 155 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,829 Come, Wendy. Let us try to jump the hilly brush. 156 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:19,831 - Who are you, kid? - My name is Gregory. 157 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,210 I just transferred from Yardale, where I had a 4.0 grade point average. 158 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,544 Wanna skate with us? 159 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:25,670 We've been skating all morning 160 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,632 and laughing and talking of memories past. 161 00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,717 We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. 162 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,762 Try and catch me, Wendy. 163 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,097 Bye, Stan. 164 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,853 Yes, yes, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. 165 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,855 Who wants to touch me? 166 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,608 I said who wants to fucking touch me? 167 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:51,947 Come on, gang! We've gotta see the Terrance and Phillip movie, too! 168 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,825 I hate you, Kenny. 169 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,916 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka 170 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,127 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle fucka... 171 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:10,924 Okay, children, let's take our seats. We have a lot to learn today. 172 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,301 We sure do, Mr. Hat. 173 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,721 Okay, children. Let's start the day with a few new math problems. 174 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,723 What is five times two? 175 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,770 Come on, children. Don't be shy. Just give it your best shot. 176 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,397 - Yes, Clyde? - Twelve? 177 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,232 Okay. Now let's try to get an answer 178 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,568 from someone who's not a complete retard. 179 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,987 Anyone? Come on, don't be shy. 180 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,573 I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison. 181 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:37,450 - Shut up, fat boy! - Hey! Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew! 182 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,661 Eric, did you just say the "F" word? 183 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,705 - Jew? - No. He's talking about "fuck." 184 00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,415 You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat-ass! 185 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:44,958 - Kyle! - Why the fuck not? 186 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,751 - Eric! - Dude, you just said "fuck" again! 187 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,044 Stanley! 188 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,379 - Kenny! - What's the big deal? 189 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,590 It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. 190 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,134 How would you like to go see the school counselor? 191 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,845 How would you like to suck my balls? 192 00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:59,139 What did you say? 193 00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:02,517 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... 194 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:07,647 How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison? 195 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,066 Holy shit, dude. 196 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,989 Well, I must say, I'm very disappointed in you boys, m'kay? 197 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,699 You should be ashamed of yourselves. 198 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,284 And I've already called in your mothers... 199 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,119 - You called my mom? - That's right. 200 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,830 - Oh, no, dude! - Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question? 201 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:24,956 M'kay. What? 202 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,459 - What's the big fucking deal, bitch? - Yeah. 203 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:31,129 Now I wanna know where you heard these horrific obscenities, m'kay? 204 00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,213 Nowhere. 205 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,215 We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before. 206 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,925 - Yeah. - Boys, I seriously doubt 207 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,969 that Mr. Garrison ever said, 208 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,056 "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker." 209 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,850 Sweet. 210 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,898 Thank you all for coming on such short notice. 211 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,483 This just isn't like you, Stanley. 212 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:54,944 What did my son say, Mr. Mackey? Did he say the "S" word? 213 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,697 - No, it was worse than that. - The "F" word? 214 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:01,326 Well, here's a short list of the things they've been saying, m'kay? 215 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:04,329 - Dear God! - What the heck is a rim job? 216 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,164 Why that's when you put your legs behind your head 217 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:08,583 and have someone lick your ass. 218 00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,671 Young man, you will tell Mr. Mackey this instant 219 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,506 where you heard all these horrible phrases! 220 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:15,715 I... I... 221 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,175 We can't tell you. We all took a sacred oath 222 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,343 and swore ourselves to secrecy. 223 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,011 - It was the Terrance and Phillip movie. - Dude! 224 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,846 What? Fuck you guys! I wanna get out of here! 225 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,015 Terrance and Phillip? Those Canadians? 226 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,184 Excuse me, what the heck is Terrance and Phillip? 227 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:29,813 Terrance and Phillip are two very untalented actors from Canada. 228 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:32,232 Nothing but foul language and toilet humor. 229 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,818 Well, I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents 230 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,861 before more children see Terrance and Phillip. 231 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,571 - Everybody's fucking seen it! - Eric! 232 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:39,906 I'm sorry, I can't help myself. 233 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,075 That movie has warped my fragile little mind. 234 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,835 There's the girl that I like 235 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:56,548 Over there laughing with that smart new... 236 00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:59,384 You're holding up the goddamn lunch line! 237 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,928 - Hello there, children. - Hey, Chef. 238 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,346 - How's it going? - Bad. 239 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,432 - Why bad? - We got busted for swearing. 240 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,934 Our moms say we can't ever see the Terrance and Phillip movie again! 241 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,060 That's too bad. 242 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,562 You should've seen Kyle when his mom showed up. 243 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:11,980 He was scared out of his mind. 244 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,107 - Shut up, Cartman! - No, dude. I'd be scared, too. 245 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,233 Your mom's a fucking bitch. 246 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:16,985 Don't call my mom a bitch, you fat fuck! 247 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:19,028 Don't call me fat, you butt-fucking son of a bitch! 248 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,614 Whoa, children, where did you learn to talk like that? 249 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,241 It's pretty fucking sweet, huh? 250 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:26,453 Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy? 251 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:27,579 That's easy. 252 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:30,498 - You just gotta find the clitoris. - Huh? 253 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,001 What does that mean, "Find the clitoris"? 254 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,294 Forget I said anything. 255 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,463 Move along, children, you're holding up the line. 256 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,590 You guys, do you know where I can find the clitoris? 257 00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:39,716 The what? 258 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,676 What, is that like finding Jesus or something? 259 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,844 Attention, students. 260 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:46,139 We are now enforcing a new dress code at South Park Elementary. 261 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:49,434 Terrance and Phillip shirts are no longer allowed in school. 262 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,311 Anyone wearing a Terrance and Phillip shirt 263 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:54,063 is to be sent home immediately. 264 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,356 - Hooray! - Hooray! 265 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:01,821 The R-rated Canadian film Asses of Fire 266 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,531 is number one at the box office. 267 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,617 But is the film destroying American youth? 268 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,077 Here with a special report is a midget in a bikini. 269 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,580 Thanks, Tom. It appears that the effects 270 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,123 of the Canadian comedy are far-reaching indeed. 271 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,501 All over America, children seem to be influenced, 272 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,711 like at this spelling bee in Washington. 273 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:21,299 All right. This is for the silver medal. Spell "forensics." 274 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,510 Fuck that! Why should I fucking have to spell "forensics"? 275 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:24,677 - Yeah. - Yeah. 276 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:28,765 Here you go. S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. Forensics. 277 00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,976 Tom, the devastating impact of the Canadian duo 278 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:36,189 can also be seen with their new hit song Shut Your Fucking Face, Uncle Fucka. 279 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:39,108 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka 280 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:42,779 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle fucka 281 00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:45,740 Thought I told you that we won't stop 282 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,326 - Back to you, Tom. - Thanks, midget. 283 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,369 Shocking report. 284 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,996 The controversy began in the small mountain town of South Park 285 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,499 where the local PTA is trying to ban the movie. 286 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,585 With us tonight is the head of the PTA, Sheila Broflovski. 287 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,171 - Hello, Tom. - And the Canadian Minister of Movies. 288 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,506 Thanks for having me, buddy. 289 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:02,799 Minister, parents are concerned 290 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,884 about your country's entertainment. Your thoughts? 291 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,303 Well, the film is R-rated and is not intended for children. 292 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,347 But of course children are gonna see it! 293 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,015 Can I finish? The fact is that we Canadians 294 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,058 are quite surprised by your outrage. 295 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:15,019 - You just don't care! - Can I finish? Hello? Can I finish? 296 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,856 The United States has graphic violence on television all the time. 297 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,023 We can't believe that a movie 298 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,567 with some foul language would piss you off so much. 299 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:24,320 - Because it's evil! - Can I finish? Please! Can I finish? 300 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,406 Okay, I'm finished. 301 00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,366 But, Mr. Minister, it isn't like this film 302 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,326 is the first troublesome thing to come out of Canada. 303 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,995 Let us not forget Bryan Adams. 304 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,663 Now, now. The Canadian government has apologized 305 00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,164 for Bryan Adams on several occasions. 306 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,708 You Canadians are all the same, 307 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,877 with your beady little eyes and fiapping heads! 308 00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,962 - You're trash. - I resent that! I find that racist! 309 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,630 Our children are now addicted to your filth! 310 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,382 You are a racist, ma'am. You are a racist. 311 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:45,925 It is going to take us weeks 312 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,262 to erase the damage this film has done to our children! 313 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,727 Kids, I wanna welcome you to rehabilitation, m'kay? 314 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:58,897 Your mothers insisted that you be taken from your normal schoolwork 315 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,482 and placed into rehab to learn not to swear. 316 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,234 I must say, I don't think I belong with these rogues. 317 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,029 I attended school at Yardale and had a 4.0 grade point average. 318 00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:07,405 You're a fucking faggot, dude. 319 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,617 M'kay. You see, children? This is exactly what I'm talking about. 320 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,911 We have to get you off of foul language. 321 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,747 - How are we gonna do that? - Well, listen here. 322 00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,750 There are times when you get suckered in 323 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:22,295 By drugs and alcohol and sex with women, m'kay? 324 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,923 But it's when you do these things too much 325 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:29,677 That you've become an addict and must get back in touch 326 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:33,348 You can do it It's all up to you, m'kay? 327 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:37,602 With a little plan you can change your life today 328 00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:39,979 You don't have to spend your life addicted to smack 329 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,273 Homeless on the streets giving hand-jobs for crack 330 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,276 Follow my plan and very soon you will say 331 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,445 "It's easy, m'kay?" 332 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,281 Step one, instead of "ass" say "buns" 333 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,784 Like "Kiss my buns" or "You're a buns-hole" 334 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,285 Step two, instead of "shit" say "poo" 335 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,871 As in "bull-poo," "poo-head" and "This poo is cold" 336 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,498 Step three, with "bitch" drop the "T" 337 00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,125 'Cause"bich' is Latin for "generosity" 338 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,627 Step four, don't say "fuck" anymore 339 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,796 'Cause "fuck" is the worst word that you can say 340 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,173 So just use the word "m'kay" 341 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,801 We can do it It's all up to us, m'kay? 342 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,052 M'kay 343 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,388 With a little plan we can change our lives today 344 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:14,973 You can change it today 345 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,350 You don't have to spend your life shooting up in the trash 346 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:19,352 Homeless on the streets giving hand-jobs for cash 347 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,522 Follow this plan and very soon you will say 348 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,899 "It's easy, m'kay?" 349 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,485 - Step one - Instead of "ass" say "buns" 350 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,946 - Like "Kiss my buns" - Or "You're a buns-hole" 351 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,531 - Step two - Instead of "shit" say "poo" 352 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:32,657 - As in "bull-poo" - "Poo-head" 353 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,075 And "This poo is cold" 354 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,660 - Step three - With "bitch" drop the "T" 355 00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:38,329 'Cause"bich' is Latin for "generosity" 356 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,831 - Step four - Don't say "fuck" anymore 357 00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:42,166 'Cause "fuck" is the worse word that you can say 358 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,127 "Fuck" is the worse word that you can say 359 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,671 we shouldn't say "fuck" No, we shouldn't say "fuck," fuck, no! 360 00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,089 You're cured, you can go 361 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,425 You don't have to spend your life shooting up in the trash 362 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,510 Homeless on the streets giving hand-jobs for cash 363 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:55,638 Follow this plan and very soon you will say 364 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:56,764 "It's easy, m'kay?" 365 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,849 It's easy, m'kay? 366 00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,018 - It's easy, m'kay? - It's easy, m'kay? 367 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:02,061 - It's easy, m'kay? - It's easy 368 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,439 It's easy It's easy, m'kay? 369 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,109 M'kay. M'kay. 370 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,486 Now you're cured. 371 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:14,407 You can take the rest of the afternoon off for personal reflection, m'kay? 372 00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:18,119 Find your own constructive way to better yourself, m'kay? 373 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,748 Well, Phillip, I hope you've learned something 374 00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:22,874 through this whole experience. 375 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:27,587 I did, Terrance. I learned that you are a boner-biting dick-fart fuck-face. 376 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,590 Want to see the northern lights? 377 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:35,720 You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart! 378 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,805 I sure did, Phillip. 379 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:42,060 Uncle fucker! Too tight! 380 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,150 Man, that movie gets better every time I see it. 381 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,860 - Hey! - Yeah, but you know what? 382 00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:52,904 That whole part about lighting farts is bullshit. 383 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,614 You can't do that. 384 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,157 No way! 385 00:17:56,825 --> 00:18:00,661 Okay, Kenny, I'll bet you $100 you can't light a fart on fire! 386 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,337 - Holy shit, dude! - Oh, my God! 387 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,340 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 388 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:16,010 - Somebody do something! - This stick is on fire! 389 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,644 - Oh, my God, you killed Kenny! - You bastard! 390 00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:27,230 Well, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh? 391 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,401 Load that IV with 70 cc's of sodium pentothal! 392 00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,487 - We just called the parents. - Oh, shit, dude! 393 00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:35,696 Now our moms are gonna find out we went 394 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,156 to the Terrance and Phillip movie again! 395 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,407 Vacuum! 396 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:41,077 Try to untangle his trachea and esophagus. 397 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,621 - Dude! - No, that doesn't go there! 398 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,126 - Gross, Stan! - That's sick. 399 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,461 - Watch his liver. - I'll get it. 400 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,505 We have precious little time left, people. 401 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:53,589 We're gonna lose him soon. 402 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,134 - Doctor, his heart stopped! - Let's get it out of there. 403 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,469 We need to zap this quick! 404 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:03,099 - Who's making a potato? - My bad, sir. I missed lunch. 405 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,852 Damn it! I'm not gonna lose this kid! 406 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,229 Close him up. We've done all we can. 407 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,356 The rest is up to God. 408 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,735 Kenny? Kenny, can you hear me? 409 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,904 How are you feeling, son? 410 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:20,074 Great. Son, I have some bad news. 411 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,869 We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. 412 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,621 You have about three seconds to live. 413 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,665 Fucking weak, dude! 414 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:30,543 - Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! - You bastards! 415 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:34,672 Damn it! It never gets any easier! 416 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,512 I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him $100. 417 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,014 Come on, Cartman, it's not your fault. 418 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,099 No, I know. I'm just fucking stoked I don't have to pay him. 419 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,603 That's real nice! He was your friend, you fat fuck! 420 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,856 So, boys, you saw that movie again? 421 00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,275 - Yes. - Well, Kyle, I have had it! 422 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,278 You are grounded for the next two weeks! 423 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,615 - Grounded? - And you, Stan. Come on. 424 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,992 And you're grounded for three weeks, Eric. 425 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:05,244 Why am I grounded more? That's fucking bullshit! 426 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:09,498 What? What? What? What was that word, young man? 427 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,973 Little boy at peace 428 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:29,602 What is this place beyond the stars? 429 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,521 Open up your eyes 430 00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:37,068 What are these things you're moving toward? 431 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:40,154 Head so full of wonder 432 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,573 worries in the past 433 00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:45,493 Could it be that you are free at last? 434 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:48,746 No! 435 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,922 Little boy, you're going to hell! 436 00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,382 You said bad words Threw rocks at the birds 437 00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:00,841 And now this is your hotel 438 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:04,387 You ain't going back This ain't Disneyland, it's hell! 439 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,099 Little boy, it's time for you to pay 440 00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,433 For hurting that bird and not going to church 441 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,851 And staring at boobs every day 442 00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:14,021 Thought you were in bed Instead, you're in hell! 443 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:22,530 Hell isn't good, hell isn't good Hell! 444 00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:25,533 Hey, fuck-face, have you seen Gracie? 445 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:29,036 There is orderliness in the universe. 446 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,706 Hell isn't good, hell isn't good No! 447 00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:45,553 Parents, our children are out of control! 448 00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:49,473 This is what happens when toilet humor is allowed to run rampant! 449 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,642 That's right. Kenny set himself on fire 450 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,645 because he saw Terrance and Phillip do it in that dirty movie! 451 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:58,065 We must stop dirty language from getting to our childrers ears! 452 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,151 We must go fight the source of it! 453 00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:01,902 But what is the source? 454 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,654 That's easy. 455 00:22:03,947 --> 00:22:06,824 Times have changed Our kids are getting worse 456 00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:10,202 They won't obey their parents They just want to fart and curse 457 00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:11,579 Should we blame the government? 458 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,164 Or blame society? 459 00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:15,624 Or should we blame the images on TV? 460 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,668 No! Blame Canada! 461 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,170 Blame Canada! 462 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:22,340 With all their beady little eyes and fiapping heads so full of lies 463 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,384 Blame Canada! Blame Canada! 464 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:26,927 We need to form a full assault 465 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,763 It's Canada's fault! 466 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:32,016 Don't blame me for my son Stan 467 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:35,186 He saw the darn cartoon and now he's off to join the Klan 468 00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:38,189 And my boy Eric once had my picture on his shelf 469 00:22:38,273 --> 00:22:40,608 But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself 470 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:44,153 Well, Blame Canada! Blame Canada! 471 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:47,531 It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along 472 00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:50,534 Blame Canada! Blame Canada! 473 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:53,829 They're not even a real country anyway 474 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,957 My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer rich and true 475 00:22:57,042 --> 00:23:00,336 Instead, he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue 476 00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:03,047 Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire? 477 00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:05,341 Or the doctors who allowed him to expire? 478 00:23:05,425 --> 00:23:06,384 Heck, no! 479 00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:09,220 Blame Canada! Blame Canada! 480 00:23:09,304 --> 00:23:10,888 With all their hockey hullabaloo 481 00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:12,556 And that bitch Anne Murray, too 482 00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:15,684 Blame Canada! Shame on Canada! 483 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:16,727 For 484 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:18,229 The smut we must stop The trash we must bash 485 00:23:18,313 --> 00:23:19,772 The laughter and fun must all be undone 486 00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:21,232 We must blame them and cause a fuss 487 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:25,236 Before somebody thinks of blaming us! 488 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,160 All right, you turds, listen up! 489 00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:37,039 Your moms are away at a meeting and they put me in charge of you! 490 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:40,418 But you're still grounded, so you're not allowed to have any fun! 491 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:43,671 - Any questions? - Shelly, where's the clitoris? 492 00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:48,300 Now you all just sit there and keep your mouths shut 493 00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:51,679 while I go listen to my Britney Spears records. 494 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:54,849 Okay, it's clear. 495 00:23:56,893 --> 00:23:59,437 Our next guests have the number one movie in the world right now. 496 00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:02,189 Please welcome Terrance and Phillip! 497 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:03,732 Hooray! 498 00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:07,611 - Hello, Conan. - Hello, Brooke Shields. 499 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,905 Now, guys, some people claim that your Canadian humor 500 00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,907 is nothing but immature fart jokes. 501 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:15,911 That's not true. Take this classic Canadian joke, for instance. 502 00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:18,873 - Excuse me, Terrance. - Yes, Phillip? 503 00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:21,667 Gosh darn it! 504 00:24:23,044 --> 00:24:25,087 - Good one, Phillip. Cheers. - Cheers, fuck-face. 505 00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:26,964 Guys, you can't say that on TV. 506 00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:29,508 Now Terrance smells like my ass! 507 00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:32,428 I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon. 508 00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:39,226 So, guys, does it make you nervous to be in America? 509 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:40,603 There are a lot of organizations here 510 00:24:40,687 --> 00:24:42,730 that want you arrested for destroying children. 511 00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:45,232 - They'd have to find us first. - You're right. 512 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,317 Now! 513 00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:48,569 Terrance and Phillip, 514 00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:52,198 Mothers Against Canada is placing you under citizens arrest! 515 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,824 - Mom? - Dude, what the hell is going on? 516 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:56,160 We have a court order for your arrest! 517 00:24:56,244 --> 00:24:57,828 Phillip, we've been ambushed! 518 00:24:57,913 --> 00:24:59,497 Here you go, Conan. 519 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:01,790 This little scrotum sucker deceived us! 520 00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:04,168 - You are a bad man! - Don't listen to them, Conan! 521 00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:06,837 You loved our movie, Conan! We watched it together! 522 00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:09,965 - Remember? You laughed! - What have I done? 523 00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:22,770 Holy crap! Did you see that? They arrested Terrance and Phillip! 524 00:25:27,108 --> 00:25:28,317 As the Canadian Ambassador, 525 00:25:28,401 --> 00:25:30,611 I hereby condemn the actions taken by America 526 00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:32,655 in apprehending Terrance and Phillip. 527 00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:33,739 As you can see from this graph, 528 00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:36,283 the entire economy of Canada relies on Terrance and Phillip! 529 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:39,119 Without them, we are doomed to recession. 530 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:42,373 What say you, Mr. American Ambassador? 531 00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:46,877 - Fuck Canada! - Hey, fuck you, buddy! 532 00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:48,837 Terrance and Phillip will not be released! 533 00:25:48,922 --> 00:25:51,924 They're going to be put on trial for corrupting America's youth. 534 00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,551 We don't know what all the fuss is about. 535 00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:55,427 The fuss is aboot taking our citizens! 536 00:25:55,512 --> 00:25:59,390 It's aboot not censoring our art! It's aboot... It's aboot... 537 00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:00,975 What's so goddamn funny? 538 00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:02,434 Nothing, nothing. 539 00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:05,688 Could you tell us again what your argument is all about? 540 00:26:05,772 --> 00:26:08,232 This is not aboot diplomacy, this is aboot dignity! 541 00:26:08,316 --> 00:26:12,027 This is aboot respect! This is aboot realizing that humor... 542 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,363 You guys are dicks! Release Terrance and Phillip 543 00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:17,157 or we'll give you something to cry aboot! 544 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:32,214 Pilot to bombardier. Pilot to bombardier. We're nearing the target. 545 00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:33,632 The bomb's ready, buddy. 546 00:26:34,467 --> 00:26:37,094 Baldwin residence. No, this is Billy Baldwin. 547 00:26:37,178 --> 00:26:40,931 If you want Daniel Baldwin, call his extension, stupid! 548 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,684 Hey, Alec, do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? 549 00:26:43,768 --> 00:26:46,103 - No, what? - Nothing! Yeah! 550 00:26:53,361 --> 00:26:54,945 You missed me! 551 00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,743 All right, children, your mothers are all making me 552 00:27:00,827 --> 00:27:03,120 throw away my lesson plan and teach theirs. 553 00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:05,539 Mr. Garrison, how come our moms arrested Terrance and Phillip? 554 00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:06,957 - Yeah! - That's gay. 555 00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:09,043 Well, your moms are just upset. 556 00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:11,837 They're probably all on their periods or something. 557 00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:15,132 Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement. 558 00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:16,300 Well, I'm sorry, Wendy, 559 00:27:16,384 --> 00:27:20,054 but I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. 560 00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:23,307 Anyway, children, let's start off with some vocabulary. 561 00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:25,476 - Attention, students! - What now? 562 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,938 Come to the gymnasium immediately for a special announcement, m'kay? 563 00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:35,361 - What's going on, Chef? - Something big, children. 564 00:27:35,445 --> 00:27:37,571 Chef, I can't find the clitoris. You have to help me. 565 00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,031 Stan, the clitoris... 566 00:27:39,115 --> 00:27:42,785 Please take your seats, everyone. They're about to announce it, m'kay? 567 00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:44,703 This is a state of emergency. 568 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,497 We go now to the White House for an announcement 569 00:27:46,581 --> 00:27:48,957 from the President of the United States. 570 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:50,501 My fellowAmericans, 571 00:27:50,585 --> 00:27:54,755 at 5:00 a.m. Today, a day which will live in infamy, 572 00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:58,801 the Canadians have bombed the Baldwins. 573 00:27:58,885 --> 00:28:03,305 In response to this, the U.S. has declared war on Canada. 574 00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:07,559 - Oh, no! - War? 575 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:10,688 - No, Gregory! No! - This is bad, Wendy. Hold on to me. 576 00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:12,439 All the Baldwins are dead? 577 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:15,609 Now it is the time for us to send a message to Canadians. 578 00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:19,071 In two days time, the war criminals Terrance and Phillip 579 00:28:19,155 --> 00:28:20,906 will be executed. 580 00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:23,033 They're gonna kill them? 581 00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:26,954 And now I'd like to bring up my newly appointed Secretary of Offense, 582 00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:29,039 Ms. Sheila Broflovski. 583 00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:30,374 Holy shit, dude! 584 00:28:30,458 --> 00:28:31,875 My fellow Americans, 585 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:36,046 our neighbor to the north has abused us for the last time! 586 00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:38,257 - I have a plan... - The Canadians want to fight us 587 00:28:38,341 --> 00:28:40,884 because we won't tolerate their potty mouths! 588 00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:46,056 Well, if it is war they want, then war they shall have! 589 00:28:48,476 --> 00:28:52,354 - Dude, this is fucking weak. - How could things be any worse? 590 00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:06,994 Fallen one, I am Satan. 591 00:29:07,078 --> 00:29:09,621 I am your god now. 592 00:29:12,208 --> 00:29:14,168 There is no escape. 593 00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:20,174 Now, feel the delightful pain. 594 00:29:20,967 --> 00:29:24,011 Hey, Satan, did you hear the news? 595 00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:26,680 A war just broke out up on Earth. 596 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:30,309 Meet Saddam Hussein, my new partner in evil. 597 00:29:30,852 --> 00:29:32,853 Move over, Satan, you're hogging all the fun. 598 00:29:32,937 --> 00:29:36,607 Yeah! Yeah! Man, this is getting me so hot! 599 00:29:37,358 --> 00:29:39,151 Saddam, would you let me do my job, please? 600 00:29:39,235 --> 00:29:41,779 Come on, rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy! 601 00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:45,115 Saddam, could I talk to you over here for a second? 602 00:29:46,409 --> 00:29:50,329 I don't see why you have to belittle me in front of people like that. 603 00:29:50,413 --> 00:29:51,705 Relax, guy! 604 00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:54,708 Well, sometimes I think you don't have any respect for me. 605 00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:56,835 Hey, come here, guy. 606 00:29:57,754 --> 00:30:00,380 - Who's my cream puff? - I am. 607 00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:02,341 That's right, buddy. 608 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:07,805 - Dude, I don't want to be at war. - You don't think they're really 609 00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:09,139 gonna kill Terrance and Phillip, do you? 610 00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:11,308 Kyle, you need to stop being such a chicken shit 611 00:30:11,392 --> 00:30:12,392 and stand up to your mother. 612 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:13,977 You need to smack her in the face and say, 613 00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:15,562 "That's enough of your shit, you fucking bitch!" 614 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,397 Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman! 615 00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:19,274 You guys stop it! This isn't helping! 616 00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:20,484 We've gotta think here! 617 00:30:20,568 --> 00:30:22,820 Now, let's see, what would Brian Boitano do? 618 00:30:22,904 --> 00:30:25,405 Yeah, what would Brian Boitano do? 619 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,576 Hey, what's going on over there? 620 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:32,329 The American government thinks it has the right to police the world. 621 00:30:32,413 --> 00:30:34,498 Your government is going to kill two Canadian citizens, 622 00:30:34,582 --> 00:30:38,168 an action condemned by the U.N. Home of the free, indeed. 623 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,505 - Let's play tetherball. - Yeah. 624 00:30:41,589 --> 00:30:44,216 This is about freedom of speech! About censorship! 625 00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:45,551 Can't you guys be more political like Gregory? 626 00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:48,303 There's the girl that I like 627 00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:53,267 Now it appears that she likes another guy 628 00:30:53,351 --> 00:30:57,354 It must be because he's political and stuff 629 00:30:58,398 --> 00:31:01,191 I bet I could be political, too 630 00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:03,318 What do you think, Stan? 631 00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:07,698 - Damn it! - You guys, this is all Kyle's mom's fault! 632 00:31:07,782 --> 00:31:08,740 Shut up, Cartman! 633 00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:10,784 Kyle's mom is the one that started that damn club, 634 00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:13,036 and all because she's a big, fat, stupid... 635 00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:14,955 Don't say it, Cartman! 636 00:31:15,039 --> 00:31:16,039 Well... 637 00:31:16,124 --> 00:31:17,958 Don't do it, Cartman! 638 00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:19,418 Well... 639 00:31:19,502 --> 00:31:21,837 - I'm warning you! - Okay. Okay. 640 00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:24,464 I'm getting pretty sick of him calling my mom... 641 00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:25,757 well, Kyle's mom's a bitch She's a big fat witch 642 00:31:25,842 --> 00:31:27,384 She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world 643 00:31:27,468 --> 00:31:28,844 She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch 644 00:31:28,928 --> 00:31:31,305 She's a bitch to all the boys and girls 645 00:31:31,389 --> 00:31:33,599 Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman! 646 00:31:33,683 --> 00:31:35,058 On Monday she's a bitch On Tuesday she's a bitch 647 00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:36,602 And wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch 648 00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:38,228 Then on Sunday, just to be different 649 00:31:38,313 --> 00:31:41,064 She's a super King Kamehameha bitch! 650 00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:42,733 Come on, you all know the words! 651 00:31:42,817 --> 00:31:44,109 Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? 652 00:31:44,193 --> 00:31:45,694 She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world 653 00:31:45,778 --> 00:31:47,237 She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair 654 00:31:47,322 --> 00:31:48,864 She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch 655 00:31:48,948 --> 00:31:51,909 Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch She's a stupid bitch 656 00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:55,037 Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch 657 00:31:55,121 --> 00:31:56,413 Talk to kids around the world 658 00:31:56,497 --> 00:31:58,081 It might go a little bit something like this 659 00:32:10,219 --> 00:32:11,595 Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? 660 00:32:11,679 --> 00:32:13,055 She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world 661 00:32:13,139 --> 00:32:14,598 She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair 662 00:32:14,682 --> 00:32:16,266 She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch 663 00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:18,852 Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch She's a stupid bitch 664 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:19,937 Cartman... 665 00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:21,980 Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch 666 00:32:22,065 --> 00:32:23,398 I really mean it 667 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,359 Kyle's mom 668 00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:30,656 She's a big fat fucking bitch 669 00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:33,450 Big, old, fat fucking bitch, Kyle's mom 670 00:32:33,534 --> 00:32:35,202 Yeah! 671 00:32:39,707 --> 00:32:40,874 What? 672 00:32:43,127 --> 00:32:44,169 Fuck. 673 00:32:44,545 --> 00:32:46,964 Okay, everyone settle down. 674 00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:49,675 As we continue to send troops into Canada, 675 00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:53,261 M.A.C. is also fighting the war against potty mouths here at home! 676 00:32:53,346 --> 00:32:57,182 Here to present the V-Chip is Dr. Vosknocker. 677 00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:02,646 The machinery of the V-Chip is very simple. 678 00:33:02,730 --> 00:33:04,606 It is placed under the child's skin 679 00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:06,692 where it emits a small shock of electricity 680 00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:08,443 whenever an obscenity is uttered. 681 00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:09,820 Now, wait a minute. 682 00:33:09,904 --> 00:33:12,322 This chip somehow knows if the child is swearing? 683 00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:13,657 It's just like a lie detector. 684 00:33:13,741 --> 00:33:15,534 You see, certain things happen to you when you swear, 685 00:33:15,618 --> 00:33:16,743 just like when you lie. 686 00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:20,330 The chip picks up on this and gives the subject a little prick. 687 00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:23,250 Patient B5, would you step out here, please? 688 00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:26,920 Patient B5 here has been fitted with the new V-Chip. 689 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,714 - My head hurts. - Don't worry about that. 690 00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:31,091 Now I want you to say "doggy." 691 00:33:32,343 --> 00:33:35,095 - Doggy. - Notice that nothing happens. 692 00:33:35,179 --> 00:33:38,557 - Now say "Montana." - Montana. 693 00:33:38,641 --> 00:33:40,684 Good! Now, "pillow." 694 00:33:40,768 --> 00:33:42,519 - Pillow. - All right. 695 00:33:42,603 --> 00:33:45,355 Now I want you to say "horse fucker." 696 00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:48,483 Go ahead, Eric. It's all right. 697 00:33:48,568 --> 00:33:50,193 Horse... 698 00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:54,031 That hurt, goddamn... Fuck! 699 00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:57,075 Now I'd like you to say "big floppy donkey dick." 700 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,660 - No! - Success! 701 00:33:58,745 --> 00:34:00,787 The child doesn't want to swear! 702 00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,081 This isn't fair, you sons of bitches! 703 00:34:03,166 --> 00:34:07,419 We will start putting V-Chips in all our children next week! 704 00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:13,592 Snacky Smores presents The March of War. 705 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:15,218 Let's hear it for our boys in blue. 706 00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:16,803 President Clinton has called them to action 707 00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:18,930 to fight the evil Canadian scourge. 708 00:34:19,015 --> 00:34:21,641 A full-scale attack has been launched on Toronto 709 00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:23,226 after the Canadians' last bombing 710 00:34:23,311 --> 00:34:26,021 which took a horrible toll on the Arquette family. 711 00:34:26,105 --> 00:34:28,356 For security measures, our great American government 712 00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,817 is rounding up all citizens that have any Canadian blood 713 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:31,985 and putting them into camps. 714 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,071 All Canadian-American citizens are to report 715 00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:35,781 to one of these death camps right away. 716 00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:36,907 Did I say death camps? 717 00:34:36,991 --> 00:34:39,576 I meant happy camps, where you will eat the finest meals, 718 00:34:39,660 --> 00:34:42,621 have access to fabulous doctors and be able to exercise regularly. 719 00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:44,664 Meanwhile, the war criminals Terrance and Phillip 720 00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:46,625 are prepped for their execution. 721 00:34:46,709 --> 00:34:50,295 Their execution will take place during a fabulous USO show! 722 00:34:50,379 --> 00:34:54,257 With special guests celebrities, including Big Gay Al and winona Ryder! 723 00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:56,885 Of course, the only way to see the USO show 724 00:34:56,969 --> 00:34:58,553 is to sign up for the army! 725 00:34:58,638 --> 00:35:01,139 So join the army and kill some Canadian scum 726 00:35:01,224 --> 00:35:04,810 as we continue the march of war! 727 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:12,692 We must rid ourselves of anything Canadian! 728 00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:14,444 Bomb them! 729 00:35:15,029 --> 00:35:16,988 Dude, don't you like Terrance and Phillip anymore? 730 00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:18,240 Course not! My mommy says 731 00:35:18,324 --> 00:35:20,909 I hate Canadians now 'cause they made me have a dirty mouth! 732 00:35:20,993 --> 00:35:22,661 Burn it all! 733 00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:25,288 - Hey, dudes. - What's the matter, Cartman? 734 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:28,500 It's this V-Chip. I hate it. I can't say any dirty words. 735 00:35:28,584 --> 00:35:30,961 - Really? So you can't say "fuck"? - No. 736 00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:32,963 - And you can't say "shit"? - No. 737 00:35:33,047 --> 00:35:34,422 So you can't say, "I'm Eric Cartman, 738 00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:35,966 "the fattest fucking piece of shit in the world"? 739 00:35:36,050 --> 00:35:38,301 - Fuck you... - Sweet. 740 00:35:38,386 --> 00:35:40,053 Come on, you guys. This has gone far enough. 741 00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:41,680 It's time we talked to our moms. 742 00:35:41,764 --> 00:35:43,306 We're supposed to be grounded in our rooms. 743 00:35:43,391 --> 00:35:45,642 Come on, Kyle, it's time for us to get political. 744 00:35:45,726 --> 00:35:48,812 Canada will no longer corrupt our children! 745 00:35:48,896 --> 00:35:52,274 - Mom, can I talk to you for a second? - Kyle, what are you doing here? 746 00:35:52,358 --> 00:35:53,650 You are grounded! 747 00:35:53,734 --> 00:35:55,986 Now get back to the house and stay there! 748 00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:57,487 You too, Stanley! 749 00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:00,532 Mom, we think you're going too far. You can't kill Terrance and Phillip. 750 00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:02,993 We must fight for our children's futures... 751 00:36:03,077 --> 00:36:04,578 You started a war! You have to stop it! 752 00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,663 ...to make them safe again! 753 00:36:06,747 --> 00:36:08,999 - Hello? - Our children are precious! 754 00:36:09,083 --> 00:36:12,169 - Hello! - We must make a stand now! 755 00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:14,004 Stop at nothing! 756 00:36:14,380 --> 00:36:15,672 I told you my mom wouldn't listen. 757 00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:18,175 Well, then we're just gonna have to save Terrance and Phillip ourselves! 758 00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:19,801 - What? - Think about it, you guys. 759 00:36:19,886 --> 00:36:21,094 What would Brian Boitano do? 760 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,721 He'd figure out a way to rescue Terrance and Phillip 761 00:36:22,805 --> 00:36:23,847 before they're executed. 762 00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:26,558 We can't do anything. Our moms' organization is too strong. 763 00:36:26,642 --> 00:36:28,560 Well, then, we'll round up all the grounded kids in town 764 00:36:28,644 --> 00:36:30,020 and start our own organization. 765 00:36:30,104 --> 00:36:32,022 An organization to help save Terrance and Phillip. 766 00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:34,191 Hey, yeah, our own secret club! 767 00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:37,027 - I guess that could work. - We have to try. 768 00:36:37,111 --> 00:36:40,197 What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? 769 00:36:40,281 --> 00:36:42,032 He'd make a plan and he'd follow through 770 00:36:42,116 --> 00:36:43,533 That's what Brian Boitano would do 771 00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:46,870 when Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the gold 772 00:36:46,954 --> 00:36:50,207 He did two salchows and a triple Lutz while wearing a blindfold 773 00:36:50,291 --> 00:36:53,710 When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears 774 00:36:53,794 --> 00:36:57,047 He used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair 775 00:36:57,131 --> 00:37:00,425 So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? 776 00:37:00,509 --> 00:37:04,095 I'm sure he'd kick and ass or two That's what Brian Boitano would do 777 00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:07,557 I want this V-Chip out of me 778 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:10,685 It has stunted my vocabulary 779 00:37:10,770 --> 00:37:14,147 And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone 780 00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:16,024 For wendy I'll be an activist, too 781 00:37:16,108 --> 00:37:17,692 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano would do 782 00:37:17,777 --> 00:37:20,946 what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town 783 00:37:21,030 --> 00:37:24,491 And tell them to unite for truth That's what Brian Boitano would do 784 00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:27,535 - Did someone say my name? - Who are you? 785 00:37:27,620 --> 00:37:29,788 - I'm Brian Dennehy. - What? 786 00:37:29,872 --> 00:37:32,832 - No, not fucking Brian Dennehy! - Yeah. Get the fuck out of here! 787 00:37:33,542 --> 00:37:34,584 Bye. 788 00:37:35,002 --> 00:37:36,670 When Brian Boitano traveled through time 789 00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:38,255 To the year 3010 790 00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:41,675 He fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again 791 00:37:41,759 --> 00:37:43,510 And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids 792 00:37:43,594 --> 00:37:45,053 He beat up Kublai Khan 793 00:37:45,137 --> 00:37:49,975 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody 794 00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:53,520 So let's call all the kids together and unite to stop our moms 795 00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:55,438 And we'll save Terrance and Phillip, too 796 00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:57,148 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano would do 797 00:37:57,233 --> 00:37:58,942 And we'll save Terrance and Phillip, too 798 00:37:59,026 --> 00:38:04,197 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano would do 799 00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:11,288 Hey, relax, guy. 800 00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:13,415 There's nothing on. 801 00:38:13,499 --> 00:38:15,292 You just get cranky when you're tired, that's all. 802 00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:16,418 I'm not cranky. 803 00:38:16,502 --> 00:38:19,421 What started as a spat between the United States and Canada 804 00:38:19,505 --> 00:38:21,298 is quickly turning into world War III! 805 00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:22,716 World War III? 806 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,342 Terrance and Phillip are going to be put to death 807 00:38:24,427 --> 00:38:25,635 for crimes against humanity. 808 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,053 The time of execution... 809 00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:31,433 It has come to be. The four horsemen are drawing nigh! 810 00:38:31,517 --> 00:38:34,144 The time of prophecy is upon us! 811 00:38:34,228 --> 00:38:36,062 I love when you get all biblical, Satan. 812 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:37,647 You know exactly how to turn my crank. 813 00:38:37,732 --> 00:38:40,859 No, I'm being serious. It is the seventh sign. 814 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:42,902 - What? - Behold. 815 00:38:42,987 --> 00:38:45,822 The first signs of my reign have all come true. 816 00:38:45,906 --> 00:38:48,658 The fall of an empire, the coming of a comet, 817 00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:53,496 and now, when the blood of these Canadians touches American soil, 818 00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:56,416 it will be our time to rise. 819 00:38:57,168 --> 00:39:00,503 Yeah. Yeah, man! I'm getting so hot! Let's fuck! 820 00:39:00,588 --> 00:39:02,130 Do you always think about sex? 821 00:39:02,214 --> 00:39:04,716 I'm talking about very important stuff here! 822 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,802 I'm just excited about taking over the world! Come on! 823 00:39:07,887 --> 00:39:10,305 Is sex the only thing that matters to you? 824 00:39:10,389 --> 00:39:11,765 I love you. 825 00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:14,517 I want to believe that. 826 00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:18,396 So what do you say we shut off that light and get close, huh? 827 00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:24,861 Yeah, you like that, don't you, bitch? 828 00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:30,700 Okay. We can use my dad's computer to call all the kids together. 829 00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:33,620 Wait. Before we put a message out, do a search on the word "clitoris." 830 00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:35,038 Okay. 831 00:39:36,290 --> 00:39:38,291 Found eight million pages with the word "clitoris." 832 00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:39,376 Wow! 833 00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:43,004 I'll just try the first one. "You must be 18 to enter this website." 834 00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:46,257 Okay. "Welcome to German sick fetish video." 835 00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:49,177 "If you are under 18 do not..." Okay. 836 00:39:52,181 --> 00:39:53,723 Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on! 837 00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:56,226 - Whoa! Is it Cartman's mom? - Very funny. 838 00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,353 Hey! It is Cartman's mom! 839 00:39:59,146 --> 00:40:00,397 All righty then. 840 00:40:00,481 --> 00:40:01,898 Son of a bitch... 841 00:40:03,317 --> 00:40:04,901 Get out of here, Ike. You're too young for this stuff. 842 00:40:04,985 --> 00:40:05,985 Bullshit. 843 00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:07,987 What's she doing now? 844 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:09,697 Okey-dokey. 845 00:40:13,452 --> 00:40:14,911 Click it off, dude! Click it off! 846 00:40:14,995 --> 00:40:16,746 Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people? 847 00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:18,706 All right. All right. Let's just do what we came here to do 848 00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:19,958 and put a message out to kids! 849 00:40:20,042 --> 00:40:22,502 Okay. Let's see. I've gotta put out an all-access e-mail. 850 00:40:22,586 --> 00:40:23,962 Goddamn, your mom sucks, Cartman. 851 00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:25,213 Just get to the message board! 852 00:40:25,297 --> 00:40:28,675 I'm trying. I can't find a Canadian server. I've got to break into the mainframe. 853 00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:32,595 Damn it, they've got an access code! I'll try to reroute the encryptions. 854 00:40:36,016 --> 00:40:39,227 Okay. Here we go. "Want to help Terrance and Phillip?" 855 00:40:43,232 --> 00:40:45,692 - Tell them we'll have punch and pie. - We're not gonna have punch and pie! 856 00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:49,446 More people will come if they think we have punch and pie! 857 00:40:51,198 --> 00:40:54,492 "This is top secret. The password is..." 858 00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:56,703 La Résistance. 859 00:40:57,538 --> 00:40:59,456 And so the draft will begin tomorrow 860 00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:02,584 as more and more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. 861 00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:04,627 The Canadian government pleads for a peaceful resolution, 862 00:41:04,712 --> 00:41:07,255 but naturally we're not listening. 863 00:41:07,506 --> 00:41:08,590 Good night, hon. 864 00:41:08,674 --> 00:41:10,967 Mom, when is the war gonna be over? 865 00:41:11,051 --> 00:41:13,344 I don't know, hon. Soon, we hope. 866 00:41:13,429 --> 00:41:15,763 You want it to end quickly, huh? 867 00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:19,601 - Mom? - Yes, hon? 868 00:41:19,685 --> 00:41:23,646 If you were in a German Scheiße video, you'd tell me, right? 869 00:41:24,857 --> 00:41:26,774 Sure, hon. Good night. 870 00:41:36,827 --> 00:41:37,827 There's a ghost! 871 00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,331 Kenny, is that you? 872 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,502 Satan! Satan is coming here? 873 00:41:46,253 --> 00:41:49,380 Saddam Hussein? That doesn't make sense, Kenny! 874 00:41:51,967 --> 00:41:54,677 - Eric, what is it? - I saw him! I saw Kenny! 875 00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:58,014 You poor dear. You've been through so much. 876 00:41:58,098 --> 00:42:01,392 I bet him he couldn't light a fart on fire and now he's all pissed off! 877 00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:03,019 I can't say "pissed off"? 878 00:42:05,105 --> 00:42:07,565 The execution of Terrance and Phillip is imminent. 879 00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:10,443 Soon, Saddam and I will rule the world. 880 00:42:12,446 --> 00:42:15,448 Hi, Satan. I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. 881 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:16,616 Let's fuck to celebrate. 882 00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:19,869 What's it like up on Earth, Saddam? Tell me about it again. 883 00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:21,996 Let's not talk. Let's get busy. 884 00:42:22,081 --> 00:42:23,873 Do you remember when you first got here? 885 00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:27,043 We used to talk all night long until the sun came up. 886 00:42:27,127 --> 00:42:29,796 We would just lie in bed and talk. 887 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,507 Well, yeah, 'cause I was still waiting to get you in bed, dummy! 888 00:42:32,591 --> 00:42:35,051 How come you always wanna make love to me from behind? 889 00:42:35,135 --> 00:42:37,845 Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else? 890 00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:40,473 Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. 891 00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:43,601 Who am I gonna pretend you are, Liza Minnelli? 892 00:42:45,479 --> 00:42:47,313 Don't get all pissy! 893 00:42:54,446 --> 00:42:57,198 Sometimes I think 894 00:42:57,616 --> 00:42:59,909 When I look up real high 895 00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:03,746 That there's such a big world up there 896 00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:06,291 I'd like to give it a try 897 00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:09,419 But then I sink 898 00:43:09,503 --> 00:43:12,422 'Cause it's here I'm supposed to stay 899 00:43:12,506 --> 00:43:15,258 But I get so lonely down here 900 00:43:15,342 --> 00:43:19,512 Tell me why's it have to be that way 901 00:43:20,347 --> 00:43:22,932 Up there, there is so much room 902 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:26,019 Where babies burp and fiowers bloom 903 00:43:26,103 --> 00:43:29,230 Everyone dreams I can dream, too 904 00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:34,110 Up there Up where the skies are ocean blue 905 00:43:34,486 --> 00:43:38,239 I could be safe and live without a care 906 00:43:38,324 --> 00:43:41,326 Up there 907 00:43:41,744 --> 00:43:44,454 They say I don't belong 908 00:43:44,538 --> 00:43:47,290 I must stay below alone 909 00:43:47,791 --> 00:43:53,463 Because of my beliefs I'm supposed to stay where evil is sown 910 00:43:54,048 --> 00:43:59,135 But what is evil anyway? Is there reason to the rhyme? 911 00:43:59,511 --> 00:44:01,596 Without evil there could be no good 912 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:06,184 So it must be good to be evil sometimes 913 00:44:07,227 --> 00:44:09,937 Up there, there is so much room 914 00:44:10,022 --> 00:44:13,107 Where babies burp and fiowers bloom 915 00:44:13,192 --> 00:44:16,110 Everyone dreams I can dream, too 916 00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:21,240 Up there Up where the skies are ocean blue 917 00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:25,787 I could be safe and live without a care 918 00:44:25,871 --> 00:44:28,039 Live without a care 919 00:44:28,707 --> 00:44:32,627 If only I could live up there 920 00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:36,214 I wanna live I wanna live 921 00:44:40,928 --> 00:44:45,098 I want to live up there! 922 00:44:56,443 --> 00:44:58,361 - You're late, Cartman! - I had to ride my bike here. 923 00:44:58,445 --> 00:45:00,613 - My behind is killing me! - Your behind? 924 00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:03,866 I have to say "behind" 'cause I get shocked if I say "ass"... 925 00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:07,537 - Did you bring the punch and pie? - No, you guys, something happened. 926 00:45:07,621 --> 00:45:09,872 - I don't think Kenny's dead. - What? 927 00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:10,998 I saw him in my room. 928 00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:13,376 I know, Cartman, I know. I see Kenny every day. 929 00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:16,045 - You do? - Sure, dude, on the face of every child. 930 00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:18,214 On the smile of every baby. 931 00:45:18,298 --> 00:45:20,174 Hey, I'm telling you, this was Kenny! 932 00:45:20,259 --> 00:45:21,968 He said that if Terrance and Phillip die, 933 00:45:22,052 --> 00:45:25,304 Saddam Hussein and Satan are gonna come up and rule the world! 934 00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,931 Saddam Hussein? 935 00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:34,564 - Who is it? - I'm here for la Résistance. 936 00:45:34,648 --> 00:45:37,191 - What's the password? - I don't know. 937 00:45:37,276 --> 00:45:39,819 - Guess. - Bacon. 938 00:45:40,654 --> 00:45:41,988 Okay. 939 00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:47,034 Oh, no, it's that kid! 940 00:45:47,119 --> 00:45:49,412 - This is the place. - Wendy? 941 00:45:49,496 --> 00:45:51,914 Stan? You started la Résistance? 942 00:45:52,666 --> 00:45:54,792 Well, apparently you're more political than we thought. 943 00:45:54,877 --> 00:45:56,878 Let us get this meeting underway. There are others coming. 944 00:46:00,424 --> 00:46:02,759 Wow, a lot of people showed up. 945 00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:05,595 Okay. 946 00:46:05,679 --> 00:46:07,680 Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be killed, 947 00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:09,891 and we think that sucks ass! 948 00:46:11,810 --> 00:46:12,810 Yes? 949 00:46:12,895 --> 00:46:15,438 We were to understand there'd be pie and punch. 950 00:46:15,522 --> 00:46:17,148 There isn't any. 951 00:46:21,153 --> 00:46:23,029 Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be killed, 952 00:46:23,113 --> 00:46:25,364 so we think we should prank call a bunch of policemen 953 00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:28,785 and have pizza sent to them that they didn't order! 954 00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,290 - May I? - What? 955 00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:36,125 Terrance and Phillip are currently being held 956 00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:38,419 at a Canadian internment camp two kilometers outside of town. 957 00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:39,712 They're to be executed tomorrow during 958 00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,464 a star-studded USO show for the troops. 959 00:46:41,548 --> 00:46:42,590 Tomorrow? 960 00:46:42,674 --> 00:46:44,300 Once the show begins, we should have about one hour 961 00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:45,802 to get Terrance and Phillip out of their cell 962 00:46:45,886 --> 00:46:46,928 and into this clearing. 963 00:46:47,012 --> 00:46:48,471 There, we will all rendezvous and, together, 964 00:46:48,555 --> 00:46:50,306 take Terrance and Phillip safely back to Canada. 965 00:46:50,390 --> 00:46:52,225 Wow, dude, Wendy's new guy is smart. 966 00:46:52,309 --> 00:46:54,977 You must all meet me at the rendezvous point at precisely 10:00 p.m. 967 00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,938 Sneaking into the show and breaking out Terrance and Phillip 968 00:46:57,022 --> 00:47:00,316 will be the most dangerous part, so I'll go myself. 969 00:47:00,567 --> 00:47:02,235 No! We're going! 970 00:47:02,736 --> 00:47:03,820 We started la Résistance. 971 00:47:03,904 --> 00:47:06,155 We'll get Terrance and Phillip and meet you at the rendezvous point. 972 00:47:06,240 --> 00:47:08,950 This will be very dangerous. Are you quite sure? 973 00:47:09,034 --> 00:47:10,159 Fuck that! 974 00:47:10,244 --> 00:47:11,828 Cartman, do you want that V-Chip in you forever? 975 00:47:11,912 --> 00:47:14,872 We're going. Now let's run through the plan. 976 00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:26,759 Oh, boy! Military action, Ned! 977 00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:29,637 Let's kill us some goddamn Australians! 978 00:47:29,721 --> 00:47:31,764 I think we're fighting Canadians. 979 00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:34,016 Canadians, Australians, what's the difference? 980 00:47:34,101 --> 00:47:38,563 Yeah. This uniform makes me feel like a tough, brute man, Mr. Hat. 981 00:47:38,647 --> 00:47:40,648 It sure does, Mr. Garrison. 982 00:47:40,732 --> 00:47:42,900 Oh, boy, I can't wait for our first shore leave 983 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:46,070 so I can get me some fucking poontang. 984 00:47:46,154 --> 00:47:47,154 Pay attention! 985 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,491 Tomorrow night is the USO show for all you troops! 986 00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:55,288 There will be celebrities, followed by the execution of Terrance and Phillip. 987 00:47:55,789 --> 00:48:00,084 After the show, we will finally be sending ground troops into Canada. 988 00:48:00,168 --> 00:48:01,460 So let's strategize. 989 00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:02,795 Map! 990 00:48:03,589 --> 00:48:05,715 Our sources have told us that the Canadians 991 00:48:05,799 --> 00:48:08,676 are preparing for our invasion, so we must use caution. 992 00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,137 Each battalion has a specific code name and mission. 993 00:48:11,221 --> 00:48:13,639 Battalion Five, raise your hands. 994 00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:16,058 You will be the all-important first attack wave, 995 00:48:16,143 --> 00:48:18,895 which we will call Operation Human Shield. 996 00:48:18,979 --> 00:48:20,062 Hey, wait a minute! 997 00:48:20,147 --> 00:48:23,274 Now keep in mind, Operation Human Shield will suffer heavy losses. 998 00:48:23,358 --> 00:48:24,859 Battalion Fourteen? 999 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,237 Right. You are Operation Get Behind the Darkies. 1000 00:48:28,322 --> 00:48:30,072 You will follow Battalion Five here. 1001 00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:33,910 And try not to get killed, for God's sake. Are there any questions, men? 1002 00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:34,994 Yes, soldier? 1003 00:48:35,078 --> 00:48:37,705 Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? 1004 00:48:37,789 --> 00:48:39,373 I don't listen to hip-hop. 1005 00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:43,544 After that, we will march into the heart of Canada and we will... 1006 00:48:43,629 --> 00:48:45,463 I'm coming to get you! I'm coming to get you! 1007 00:48:45,547 --> 00:48:47,840 What's wrong with this thing? 1008 00:48:48,258 --> 00:48:51,594 It's fucking Windows 98! Get Bill Gates in here! 1009 00:48:54,848 --> 00:48:57,600 You told us Windows 98 would be faster and more efficient 1010 00:48:57,684 --> 00:48:59,101 with better access to the Internet. 1011 00:48:59,186 --> 00:49:01,771 It is faster. Over five million... 1012 00:49:02,481 --> 00:49:06,692 All right, men, get lots of rest and prepare to go into Canada! 1013 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:12,531 After you have Terrance and Phillip, quietly make your way to this ridge. 1014 00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,700 We will be waiting for you there. We cannot wait for long, 1015 00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:16,619 so if you're not there at 10:00, we'll have to leave. 1016 00:49:16,703 --> 00:49:18,037 - Got you. - You are indeed brave, 1017 00:49:18,121 --> 00:49:20,581 but you will need help from someone who's done this sort of thing before. 1018 00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:23,167 - Here's the address of The Mole. - The Mole? 1019 00:49:23,251 --> 00:49:25,628 He is an expert in covert operations. A mercenary for hire. 1020 00:49:25,712 --> 00:49:28,506 Your first task will be obtaining him. Get lots of sleep. 1021 00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:32,093 Tomorrow, we will all be risking our lives for freedom. 1022 00:49:32,344 --> 00:49:36,222 God has smiled upon you this day 1023 00:49:37,015 --> 00:49:41,727 The fate of a nation in your hands 1024 00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:44,480 And blessed be the children 1025 00:49:44,564 --> 00:49:47,316 Who fight with all our bravery 1026 00:49:47,401 --> 00:49:51,612 Till only the righteous stand 1027 00:49:52,364 --> 00:49:55,658 You see the distant flames They bellow in the night 1028 00:49:55,742 --> 00:49:59,036 You fight in all our names for what we know is right 1029 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:02,248 And when you all get shot and cannot carry on 1030 00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:05,251 Though you die, la Résistance lives on 1031 00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:08,963 You may get stabbed in the head with a dagger or a sword 1032 00:50:09,047 --> 00:50:12,133 You may be burned to death or skinned alive or worse 1033 00:50:12,217 --> 00:50:15,011 But when they torture you you will not feel the need to run 1034 00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:18,180 For though you die la Résistance lives on 1035 00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:21,225 Blame Canada! Blame Canada! 1036 00:50:21,309 --> 00:50:25,563 Because the country's gone awry Tomorrow night these freaks will fry! 1037 00:50:26,106 --> 00:50:29,066 Tomorrow night, our lives will change 1038 00:50:29,151 --> 00:50:31,986 Tomorrow night, we'll be entertained 1039 00:50:32,404 --> 00:50:35,197 An execution What a sight 1040 00:50:35,282 --> 00:50:36,240 Tomorrow night 1041 00:50:36,324 --> 00:50:38,993 Up there, there is so much room Where babies burp and fiowers bloom 1042 00:50:39,077 --> 00:50:42,204 Tomorrow night, up there is doomed And so I will be going soon 1043 00:50:42,289 --> 00:50:44,874 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka 1044 00:50:44,958 --> 00:50:48,335 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle fucka 1045 00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:49,795 Looks like we may be out of luck 1046 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,380 Tomorrow night, we're pretty fucked 1047 00:50:51,465 --> 00:50:54,467 Why did our mothers start this war? What the fuck are they fighting for? 1048 00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:56,469 When did this song become a marathon? 1049 00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:58,888 - I want to be up there... - When Canada is dead and gone 1050 00:50:58,972 --> 00:51:00,431 There'll be no more Celine Dion! 1051 00:51:00,515 --> 00:51:03,601 They might cut your dick in half and serve it to a pig 1052 00:51:03,685 --> 00:51:06,645 And though it hurts you'll laugh and dance a dickless jig 1053 00:51:06,730 --> 00:51:09,523 But that's the way it goes In war, you're shat upon 1054 00:51:09,608 --> 00:51:11,484 - Though we die... - I want to be up there... 1055 00:51:11,568 --> 00:51:15,321 ...la Résistance lives on! 1056 00:51:15,655 --> 00:51:18,741 Blame Canada! Blame Canada! 1057 00:51:18,825 --> 00:51:20,659 - Tomorrow night! - Tomorrow night! 1058 00:51:25,999 --> 00:51:27,625 Oh, boy, I'm so excited! 1059 00:51:27,709 --> 00:51:29,877 Just one more day until we can take over the world. 1060 00:51:29,961 --> 00:51:32,463 I don't know if I can sleep, if you know what I mean. 1061 00:51:32,547 --> 00:51:33,964 This book is really interesting. 1062 00:51:34,049 --> 00:51:36,425 It talks about how people communicate differently. 1063 00:51:36,510 --> 00:51:39,762 Like, I communicate by wanting you to ask me questions, and you... 1064 00:51:39,846 --> 00:51:42,556 Hey, that is interesting! Let's fuck! 1065 00:51:42,641 --> 00:51:45,643 Saddam, I'm trying to have a nice conversation with you. 1066 00:51:45,727 --> 00:51:47,353 Hey, Satan. 1067 00:51:47,896 --> 00:51:50,022 Now that is just not appropriate! 1068 00:51:50,107 --> 00:51:53,067 Come on, I'm just fucking with you! It's not real! 1069 00:51:53,151 --> 00:51:56,362 - Well, that is still not appropriate. - Hey, daddy. 1070 00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:59,657 It's not real, either! Come on, guy! 1071 00:52:06,164 --> 00:52:08,749 Soon the world will belong to me! 1072 00:52:11,545 --> 00:52:14,922 It's Saddam, he doesn't nurture my emotions. 1073 00:52:15,006 --> 00:52:18,175 He just wants sex and can't learn to communicate. 1074 00:52:19,845 --> 00:52:22,513 You're right, I should leave him! I'm just gonna tell him, 1075 00:52:22,597 --> 00:52:25,307 "Saddam, I'm going to Earth to rule alone!" 1076 00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:27,893 I'm strong and I don't need him! 1077 00:52:32,315 --> 00:52:34,650 Today's the day for the USO show 1078 00:52:34,734 --> 00:52:36,735 we're so happy we get to go 1079 00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:38,779 I don't know but I've been told 1080 00:52:38,864 --> 00:52:40,656 Canadian pussy is mighty cold... 1081 00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:42,992 Ike, you have to stay in the attic 'cause if they find you, 1082 00:52:43,076 --> 00:52:46,287 they'll put you in a Canadian concentration camp. 1083 00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:48,664 Don't worry, Ike, we're gonna put an end to this. 1084 00:52:48,748 --> 00:52:52,835 And then I'll make Mom come home and we'll all be a family again. 1085 00:52:56,089 --> 00:52:57,840 All of that is home. 1086 00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:16,692 - Hello? - Hi. We need to speak with The Mole. 1087 00:53:16,776 --> 00:53:20,487 I'm sorry, The Mole is grounded. He can't come out and play. 1088 00:53:20,572 --> 00:53:21,655 - What? - He's a kid? 1089 00:53:21,740 --> 00:53:24,366 He said very naughty things about God. 1090 00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:26,785 Well, can we just talk to him for five seconds, please? 1091 00:53:26,870 --> 00:53:29,205 Well, all right. Christophe? 1092 00:53:31,499 --> 00:53:33,751 Hi, we're gonna go rescue Terrance and Phillip 1093 00:53:33,835 --> 00:53:35,377 from the USO show and... 1094 00:53:35,462 --> 00:53:37,087 - Who are you? Who sent you? - That Gregory kid. 1095 00:53:37,172 --> 00:53:38,380 He said you could sneak us in. 1096 00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:41,008 Are you telling me that you intend to break into the USO show, 1097 00:53:41,092 --> 00:53:44,428 filled with thousands of soldiers, and break out Terrance and Phillip? 1098 00:53:44,512 --> 00:53:46,263 I thought it was a pretty stupid idea, too. 1099 00:53:46,348 --> 00:53:47,389 We're la Résistance! 1100 00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:50,017 We wanna save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff. 1101 00:53:50,101 --> 00:53:53,187 I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days. 1102 00:53:53,271 --> 00:53:55,314 So are we. Our parents think we're home right now. 1103 00:53:55,398 --> 00:53:56,398 Why are you grounded? 1104 00:53:56,483 --> 00:53:58,734 Why? Because God hates me, that's why. 1105 00:53:58,818 --> 00:54:00,361 He has made my life miserable. 1106 00:54:00,445 --> 00:54:03,072 So I call him a cock-sucking asshole and I get grounded. 1107 00:54:03,156 --> 00:54:05,074 - So will you help us? - Very well. 1108 00:54:05,158 --> 00:54:07,117 Meet me in the backyard in five minutes. 1109 00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:10,246 We'll show God that we're not gonna fucking take any more... 1110 00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:13,457 - What? Christophe, get in here! - Coming, Mother. 1111 00:54:14,626 --> 00:54:17,127 I must be strong. I must be strong. 1112 00:54:18,171 --> 00:54:20,297 Saddam, I need to talk to you. 1113 00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:21,590 You better get packing, bitch. 1114 00:54:21,675 --> 00:54:24,093 We have to go. We're running out of time. 1115 00:54:24,177 --> 00:54:27,388 Saddam, sometimes you can love a person very much, 1116 00:54:27,472 --> 00:54:29,306 but still know that they aren't right for you. 1117 00:54:29,391 --> 00:54:31,100 What the fuck are you talking about? 1118 00:54:31,184 --> 00:54:33,769 You treat me like shit, Saddam! I'm leaving you! 1119 00:54:33,853 --> 00:54:36,480 I'm going up to Earth to rule alone! 1120 00:54:36,773 --> 00:54:38,565 No. No, you can't do that! 1121 00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:42,528 - I'm sorry, but I have to be strong. - Satan, please, give me another chance! 1122 00:54:42,612 --> 00:54:45,739 - I have to go to Earth! - You don't even have respect for me! 1123 00:54:45,824 --> 00:54:48,909 Sure I do, guy. Please, just hear me out. 1124 00:54:52,163 --> 00:54:55,374 Some people say that I'm a bad guy 1125 00:54:55,458 --> 00:54:58,377 They may be right They may be right 1126 00:54:59,129 --> 00:55:02,256 But it's not as if I don't try 1127 00:55:02,340 --> 00:55:05,342 I just fuck up, try as I might 1128 00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:08,137 But I can change, I can change 1129 00:55:08,221 --> 00:55:11,307 I can learn to keep my promises I swear it 1130 00:55:11,391 --> 00:55:16,020 I'll open up my heart and I will share it Any minute now I will be born again 1131 00:55:17,188 --> 00:55:19,440 Yes, I can change, I can change 1132 00:55:19,524 --> 00:55:22,443 I know I've been a dirty little bastard 1133 00:55:22,527 --> 00:55:23,652 I like to kill, I like to maim 1134 00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:26,196 Yes, I'm insane, but it's okay 'cause I can change 1135 00:55:27,574 --> 00:55:31,660 It's not my fault that I'm so evil It's society 1136 00:55:31,745 --> 00:55:33,120 Society 1137 00:55:33,204 --> 00:55:36,123 You see, my parents were sometimes abusive 1138 00:55:36,207 --> 00:55:38,709 And it made a prick of me 1139 00:55:38,793 --> 00:55:40,919 But I can change, I can change 1140 00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:43,797 What if you remain a sandy little butthole? 1141 00:55:43,882 --> 00:55:47,259 Satan, don't be such a twit Mother Teresa won't have shit on me 1142 00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:48,594 Just watch Just watch me change 1143 00:55:48,678 --> 00:55:50,512 Here I go I'm changing 1144 00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:15,871 You see, I've really matured. 1145 00:56:15,955 --> 00:56:17,998 - All right. - All right! 1146 00:56:18,083 --> 00:56:21,335 - Come on. We have to hurry. - I love you. 1147 00:56:25,173 --> 00:56:27,591 Ladies and gentlemen of the American Army, 1148 00:56:27,675 --> 00:56:30,302 welcome to the USO show! 1149 00:56:30,804 --> 00:56:34,098 Get ready for loads of entertainment and fabulous celebrities, 1150 00:56:34,182 --> 00:56:38,060 followed immediately by the nasty execution of Terrance and Phillip! 1151 00:56:43,066 --> 00:56:45,234 This is the USO show where those military bitches 1152 00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:46,693 intend to kill Terrance and Phillip. 1153 00:56:46,778 --> 00:56:48,570 - Oh, my God! - God? 1154 00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:50,364 He is the biggest bitch of them all. 1155 00:56:50,448 --> 00:56:54,201 We have to hurry. We rendezvous with the other kids at 10:00. 1156 00:56:54,661 --> 00:56:56,703 You realize that by doing this, we could be grounded for two, 1157 00:56:56,788 --> 00:56:58,080 perhaps even three weeks. 1158 00:56:58,164 --> 00:57:00,541 - We're willing to take that risk. - Then let's go. 1159 00:57:00,625 --> 00:57:03,001 And now, here are your hosts for the evening, 1160 00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:06,338 Sheila Broflovski and Big Gay Al! 1161 00:57:09,008 --> 00:57:12,177 Al, tonight is a very special night, do you know why? 1162 00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:14,638 They're having a sale at Merv's? 1163 00:57:15,014 --> 00:57:18,434 No, because we're going to abolish Canadian smut! 1164 00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:21,603 That's right, Sheila! Bring out the condemned! 1165 00:57:25,817 --> 00:57:28,986 Today is a great day for democracy! 1166 00:57:31,197 --> 00:57:33,157 Phillip, this is worse than that night I fell asleep 1167 00:57:33,241 --> 00:57:35,325 and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture! 1168 00:57:35,410 --> 00:57:36,952 I know, Terrance. I know. 1169 00:57:37,036 --> 00:57:39,621 Well, Sheila, while you're getting set up over there, 1170 00:57:39,706 --> 00:57:44,126 let's bring out our first act, Yippie the back-fiipping dog! 1171 00:57:56,556 --> 00:57:59,057 Be careful not to touch this wire. 1172 00:57:59,684 --> 00:58:01,226 Motherfucker... 1173 00:58:01,519 --> 00:58:02,728 Fuck... 1174 00:58:08,401 --> 00:58:11,904 Shit, the USO show has started! We are running out of time! 1175 00:58:11,988 --> 00:58:13,322 Do you see Terrance and Phillip? 1176 00:58:13,406 --> 00:58:14,823 Yes, but they are heavily guarded. 1177 00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:17,868 We have to dig from here so as not to be seen. 1178 00:58:17,952 --> 00:58:19,036 Come on, bitches. 1179 00:58:20,830 --> 00:58:22,873 Hey, Mole, do you know where the clitoris is? 1180 00:58:22,957 --> 00:58:24,082 - The what? - The clitoris. 1181 00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:26,710 I have to find the clitoris so I can get this Wendy girl to like me again. 1182 00:58:26,794 --> 00:58:28,504 You need to stop thinking with your dick! 1183 00:58:28,588 --> 00:58:29,630 You have to be on your toes 1184 00:58:29,714 --> 00:58:31,173 because I am not going to be grounded again! 1185 00:58:31,257 --> 00:58:32,925 Not for you. Not for anybody. 1186 00:58:33,343 --> 00:58:36,178 Men, when you're out there in the battlefield 1187 00:58:36,262 --> 00:58:38,680 and you're looking into the beady eyes of a Canadian 1188 00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:41,725 as he charges you with his hockey stick or whatever he has 1189 00:58:41,809 --> 00:58:43,894 and people are dying all around you, 1190 00:58:43,978 --> 00:58:46,480 just remember what the M.P.A.A. Says. 1191 00:58:46,564 --> 00:58:49,358 "Horrific, deplorable violence is okay, 1192 00:58:49,442 --> 00:58:52,194 "as long as people don't say any naughty words!" 1193 00:58:52,278 --> 00:58:55,113 That is what this war is all about! 1194 00:58:56,741 --> 00:58:57,824 What? 1195 00:59:00,078 --> 00:59:01,203 Shit! 1196 00:59:03,248 --> 00:59:04,706 Move, move! 1197 00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:09,461 Okay. We will split up here. Let's synchronize watches. 1198 00:59:09,879 --> 00:59:11,713 - We don't have watches. - You don't have watches? 1199 00:59:11,798 --> 00:59:12,881 Dude, you didn't say anything about watches! 1200 00:59:12,966 --> 00:59:14,091 What do you think this is, kid? 1201 00:59:14,175 --> 00:59:15,551 TV kiddie-hour where we all sit around 1202 00:59:15,635 --> 00:59:17,678 and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy, huh? 1203 00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:19,763 This is real life, with consequences you take to the grave! 1204 00:59:19,847 --> 00:59:22,641 - Dude, we don't have watches. - Shit! Did you bring the mirror? 1205 00:59:22,725 --> 00:59:23,725 - Got it! - And the rope? 1206 00:59:23,810 --> 00:59:25,435 - Check. - And the buttfor? 1207 00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:28,230 - What's a buttfor? - For pooping, silly. 1208 00:59:30,233 --> 00:59:32,401 Now, listen carefully. I will dig under the stage, 1209 00:59:32,485 --> 00:59:33,944 and with that bedrock, I will need more time. 1210 00:59:34,028 --> 00:59:36,738 Stan and Kyle, get near that stage and stall the show any way you can. 1211 00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:38,156 Do whatever it takes to keep that show going 1212 00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:39,950 - until I get to the prisoners. - Okay. 1213 00:59:40,034 --> 00:59:41,952 Cartman, over there is the electrical box. 1214 00:59:42,036 --> 00:59:43,453 You must sneak over there and shut it off 1215 00:59:43,538 --> 00:59:44,913 before I return with Terrance and Phillip 1216 00:59:44,998 --> 00:59:47,499 or the alarms will sound and I will be attacked by guard dogs. 1217 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:48,834 - Got it? - Okay. 1218 00:59:48,918 --> 00:59:51,378 You must shut off the alarms! I fucking hate guard dogs! 1219 00:59:51,462 --> 00:59:53,922 I heard you the first time, you British piece of shit. 1220 00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:56,758 If anything goes wrong, make a sound like a dying giraffe. 1221 00:59:56,843 --> 00:59:59,303 What's a dying giraffe sound like? 1222 01:00:02,223 --> 01:00:03,515 - Okay. - Let's go. 1223 01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,183 - Be careful, dude. - Careful? 1224 01:00:05,268 --> 01:00:07,477 Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart 1225 01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:10,856 with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb? 1226 01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:16,445 Damn, dude. That kid is fucked up. 1227 01:00:16,529 --> 01:00:20,324 - How are those chairs coming, Sheila? - Al, we're minutes away. 1228 01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:22,409 Super! In the meantime, 1229 01:00:22,493 --> 01:00:28,165 here's pint-size pixie and darling of the indie movie scene, Winona Ryder! 1230 01:00:28,374 --> 01:00:29,708 Hi, guys. 1231 01:00:30,209 --> 01:00:32,336 I'm super psyched to be here today. 1232 01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:35,714 What you're doing for our country is so cool. 1233 01:00:36,257 --> 01:00:40,427 I mean war, man. Wow. War, you know? 1234 01:00:40,803 --> 01:00:42,137 Wow. 1235 01:00:42,221 --> 01:00:46,933 Okay! And now for your enjoyment, here's my famous ping-pong ball trick! 1236 01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:56,568 Oh, my! 1237 01:00:57,362 --> 01:01:01,448 "Shut off the power, Cartman. This is very important, Cartman." 1238 01:01:01,532 --> 01:01:03,325 Dude, did you hear what Winona Ryder's doing? 1239 01:01:03,409 --> 01:01:05,202 We can't miss this. 1240 01:01:08,748 --> 01:01:10,582 There, I didn't miss one! 1241 01:01:10,667 --> 01:01:12,959 That's my ping-pong ball trick! 1242 01:01:17,006 --> 01:01:19,508 Well, that's all the acts we have for you tonight, 1243 01:01:19,592 --> 01:01:22,302 so let's just get on with the execution! 1244 01:01:23,054 --> 01:01:25,681 - Oh, no. We have to stall him. - More! More! 1245 01:01:25,765 --> 01:01:27,224 Yeah, more! 1246 01:01:27,308 --> 01:01:30,185 You big sillies! You want to see more of me? 1247 01:01:30,269 --> 01:01:32,521 Yeah! Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al! 1248 01:01:32,605 --> 01:01:34,648 Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al! 1249 01:01:34,732 --> 01:01:38,193 Well, I do have a little song I wrote about the war. 1250 01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:40,028 But we haven't rehearsed. 1251 01:01:40,113 --> 01:01:42,114 - Sing it! - Yeah, sing it! 1252 01:01:42,198 --> 01:01:45,033 - I can't. - Sing the fucking song! 1253 01:01:45,118 --> 01:01:47,869 Well, all right, if you insist, I'll sing my song. 1254 01:01:47,954 --> 01:01:50,414 I believe it goes a little bit like this. 1255 01:01:52,625 --> 01:01:56,712 Bombs are flying People are dying 1256 01:01:56,879 --> 01:02:00,257 Children are crying Politicians are lying, too 1257 01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:05,262 Cancer is killing Texaco's spilling 1258 01:02:05,972 --> 01:02:09,266 The whole world's gone to hell But how are you? 1259 01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:12,728 I'm super, thanks for asking 1260 01:02:12,812 --> 01:02:15,981 All things considered I couldn't be better, I must say 1261 01:02:16,065 --> 01:02:19,443 I'm feeling super No, nothing bugs me 1262 01:02:19,777 --> 01:02:24,489 Everything is super when you're... Don't you think I look cute in this hat? 1263 01:02:25,616 --> 01:02:28,493 I'm so sorry, Mr. Cripple 1264 01:02:28,911 --> 01:02:31,872 But I just can't feel too bad for you right now 1265 01:02:31,956 --> 01:02:34,916 Because I'm feeling so insanely super 1266 01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:38,295 That even the fact that you can't walk can't bring me down 1267 01:02:38,379 --> 01:02:41,298 He's super, thanks for asking 1268 01:02:41,382 --> 01:02:44,593 All things considered he couldn't be better, he must say 1269 01:02:44,677 --> 01:02:47,512 I'm super No, nothing bugs me 1270 01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:51,600 Everything is super when you're... Don't you think I look cute in this hat? 1271 01:02:51,684 --> 01:02:54,144 These little pants this matching tie that I got at Merv's 1272 01:02:54,228 --> 01:02:55,228 I'm super 1273 01:02:55,313 --> 01:02:57,063 In the barracks and the trenches as well 1274 01:02:57,148 --> 01:02:58,982 - Stick 'em up! - Big Gay Al says 1275 01:02:59,066 --> 01:03:01,026 - "Do ask, do tell" - Skittles 1276 01:03:01,110 --> 01:03:03,361 Yes, he's super and he's proud to be gay 1277 01:03:03,446 --> 01:03:04,446 Okay? 1278 01:03:04,530 --> 01:03:09,326 Everything is super when you're gay 1279 01:03:12,038 --> 01:03:13,580 When you're gay! 1280 01:03:15,249 --> 01:03:16,708 Again! Again! 1281 01:03:25,301 --> 01:03:26,885 Who's there? 1282 01:03:28,012 --> 01:03:29,888 Son of a gun! Heck! 1283 01:03:30,681 --> 01:03:32,265 They're coming? 1284 01:03:32,892 --> 01:03:35,310 But our moms won't listen to us! 1285 01:03:40,858 --> 01:03:43,109 Okay, everybody, just wanna take a minute here 1286 01:03:43,194 --> 01:03:46,404 to thank all our wonderful sponsors we had tonight on this USO show. 1287 01:03:46,489 --> 01:03:47,656 He's almost got them. 1288 01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:48,782 We are here to rescue you. 1289 01:03:48,866 --> 01:03:50,700 After I release you, follow me through the tunnel. 1290 01:03:50,785 --> 01:03:52,118 - You guys! Seriously! - What, Cartman? 1291 01:03:52,203 --> 01:03:53,495 Kenny! I saw Kenny again! 1292 01:03:53,579 --> 01:03:56,081 Did you shut the alarm off, Cartman? 1293 01:03:56,749 --> 01:03:57,999 Cartman? 1294 01:03:58,417 --> 01:03:59,709 Shit! 1295 01:04:01,754 --> 01:04:04,381 Hey, did you hear that? Sounds like a giraffe is dying over there. 1296 01:04:05,591 --> 01:04:07,175 - Shit! - A spy! 1297 01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:08,510 Get him! 1298 01:04:09,345 --> 01:04:11,012 Shit! Shit! 1299 01:04:12,139 --> 01:04:13,348 Oh, no! 1300 01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:16,351 Come on, Mole, come on! 1301 01:04:16,435 --> 01:04:19,437 Shit! Shit! Fucking guard dogs! Shit! 1302 01:04:19,939 --> 01:04:21,398 The alarms, they went off. 1303 01:04:21,482 --> 01:04:23,441 Yeah, that was my bad. Sorry. 1304 01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:25,902 Hold me. It's so very cold. 1305 01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:27,863 There is no hope now. You must get out of here. 1306 01:04:27,947 --> 01:04:30,073 - We can't leave without you! - It's okay, I'm done for. 1307 01:04:30,157 --> 01:04:32,576 No, we can't leave without you! We don't know where the hell we are! 1308 01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:34,870 Where is your God when you need him, huh? 1309 01:04:34,954 --> 01:04:38,290 Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now? 1310 01:04:38,374 --> 01:04:41,334 Here I come, God. Here I come, you fucking rat. 1311 01:04:41,419 --> 01:04:44,170 Now the light, she fades 1312 01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:46,631 And darkness settles in 1313 01:04:47,466 --> 01:04:49,259 But I will find strength 1314 01:04:49,343 --> 01:04:50,343 No, Mole. Hang on. 1315 01:04:50,428 --> 01:04:52,220 I will find pride within 1316 01:04:52,305 --> 01:04:53,346 We'll get you home. 1317 01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:55,015 Because although I die 1318 01:04:55,099 --> 01:04:56,182 I can't face my mother. 1319 01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:57,976 Our freedom will be won 1320 01:04:58,060 --> 01:04:59,311 Not alone. 1321 01:04:59,395 --> 01:05:01,104 Though I die 1322 01:05:01,814 --> 01:05:05,692 La Résistance lives on 1323 01:05:17,872 --> 01:05:19,122 Shit! 1324 01:05:19,206 --> 01:05:22,083 Okay, folks, here it is, the moment we've all been waiting for, 1325 01:05:22,168 --> 01:05:23,752 the execution! 1326 01:05:28,716 --> 01:05:30,342 The day is ours! 1327 01:05:31,886 --> 01:05:32,886 Oh, no, dude, it's happening! 1328 01:05:32,970 --> 01:05:34,596 We have to tell them about Saddam Hussein and Satan! 1329 01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:36,306 No way, dude! My mom can't see me here! 1330 01:05:36,390 --> 01:05:38,642 Kyle, you have to stand up to your mother! Come on! 1331 01:05:38,726 --> 01:05:41,728 Gentlemen, do you have any last words? 1332 01:05:41,812 --> 01:05:44,064 Last words? Let's see. How's aboot... 1333 01:05:44,148 --> 01:05:46,775 Get me the fuck out of this chair! How's that for last words? 1334 01:05:46,859 --> 01:05:49,653 All right, anonymous, ready the switch. 1335 01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:52,697 - Wait! - Stanley! 1336 01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:54,366 - Eric! - Kyle! 1337 01:05:55,534 --> 01:05:58,203 - Go on, dude, tell her. - I can't. 1338 01:05:58,955 --> 01:06:00,163 You can't kill Terrance and Phillip. 1339 01:06:00,247 --> 01:06:04,709 If they die, Satan and Saddam Hussein are gonna come take over the world! 1340 01:06:08,589 --> 01:06:10,715 Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison. 1341 01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,343 Hey, I'm supposed to be anonymous. 1342 01:06:14,679 --> 01:06:16,304 Goodbye, bastards! 1343 01:06:16,389 --> 01:06:17,555 No! 1344 01:06:24,897 --> 01:06:28,149 The Canadians are attacking! Run for your lives! 1345 01:06:28,651 --> 01:06:31,361 Come on. We have to shut off the power! 1346 01:06:31,821 --> 01:06:33,071 Fuck! 1347 01:06:34,907 --> 01:06:37,409 Hey, some little fat kid saved us! 1348 01:06:42,915 --> 01:06:43,999 Terrance and Phillip, wait! 1349 01:06:44,083 --> 01:06:46,918 We have to get you to the rendezvous point! 1350 01:06:49,922 --> 01:06:51,297 Ned, behind you! 1351 01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:12,402 Be not afraid. 1352 01:07:12,486 --> 01:07:13,570 Oh, my God! 1353 01:07:13,654 --> 01:07:17,157 - Behold my glory. - What are you? 1354 01:07:17,241 --> 01:07:18,992 I am the clitoris. 1355 01:07:19,326 --> 01:07:21,911 The clitoris? I did it! I found the clitoris! 1356 01:07:21,996 --> 01:07:24,914 Stan, you must not let Terrance and Phillip's blood 1357 01:07:24,999 --> 01:07:26,541 be spilled on the ground. 1358 01:07:26,625 --> 01:07:28,543 Wait! You're supposed to tell me how to get Wendy to like me. 1359 01:07:28,627 --> 01:07:30,712 There are more important matters right now. 1360 01:07:30,796 --> 01:07:32,505 No way, dude! I looked all over for you 1361 01:07:32,590 --> 01:07:34,507 and now you have to tell me how to get Wendy to like me! 1362 01:07:34,592 --> 01:07:37,343 Dude, you just have to have confidence in yourself. 1363 01:07:37,428 --> 01:07:40,013 Believe in yourself and others will believe in you. 1364 01:07:40,097 --> 01:07:43,058 Chicks love confidence. Now go, hurry! 1365 01:07:43,142 --> 01:07:44,642 The clitoris has spoken. 1366 01:07:44,727 --> 01:07:47,228 Stan! Stan, are you okay? 1367 01:07:47,313 --> 01:07:48,688 I see you failed in your mission. 1368 01:07:48,773 --> 01:07:51,900 I should not have sent a boy to do a man's job. 1369 01:07:52,443 --> 01:07:55,653 Come on, everyone, we've got precious little time. 1370 01:07:58,532 --> 01:08:00,825 Die, Canadian, m'kay? 1371 01:08:04,038 --> 01:08:07,749 - Did you hear that Terrance? I farted. - You did? Just now? 1372 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:09,959 Terrance and Phillip! 1373 01:08:10,044 --> 01:08:11,836 We have to get them to the rendezvous point! 1374 01:08:11,921 --> 01:08:13,755 Hey, it's Mr. Garrison! 1375 01:08:13,839 --> 01:08:16,466 Children, take Mr. Hat. 1376 01:08:16,550 --> 01:08:18,760 Please, get him out of here. 1377 01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:23,014 Holy shit! This V-Chip is getting all screwy! 1378 01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:25,016 Take cover in the trench! 1379 01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:27,393 All right, men! Human Shield up front, 1380 01:08:27,478 --> 01:08:29,479 then Operation Get Behind the Darkies. 1381 01:08:29,563 --> 01:08:33,483 Remember, Human Shield, protect our tanks and planes, too! 1382 01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:39,114 Holy mother of Jehoshaphat! 1383 01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:40,156 Fire on my command! 1384 01:08:40,241 --> 01:08:42,992 All right, squad, just like I told you. 1385 01:08:43,744 --> 01:08:46,287 One, two... 1386 01:08:46,372 --> 01:08:48,248 Yousa people gonna die? 1387 01:08:48,332 --> 01:08:49,874 - Fire! ...three! 1388 01:08:50,709 --> 01:08:51,918 What in the... 1389 01:08:52,795 --> 01:08:56,214 - Great plan, Chef! - Operation Human Shield, my ass! 1390 01:08:58,717 --> 01:09:01,136 My God, this is terrible! 1391 01:09:01,220 --> 01:09:02,929 This is what we wanted! 1392 01:09:03,055 --> 01:09:07,308 We wanted our children to be brought up in a smut-free environment! 1393 01:09:07,393 --> 01:09:09,602 But we didn't want this! 1394 01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:11,479 Where are you going? 1395 01:09:11,564 --> 01:09:13,273 We're going to find our boys! 1396 01:09:13,357 --> 01:09:16,818 For God's sake, Sheila, we're going to get them killed! 1397 01:09:22,700 --> 01:09:25,410 Kyle, all those times I said you were a big, dumb Jew, 1398 01:09:25,494 --> 01:09:28,037 I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew. 1399 01:09:28,414 --> 01:09:30,665 Yes, I am! I am a Jew, Cartman! 1400 01:09:30,749 --> 01:09:33,501 No, no, Kyle, don't be so hard on yourself. 1401 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:35,837 What the hell am I still holding this for? 1402 01:09:35,921 --> 01:09:38,131 Mr. Hat! No! 1403 01:09:38,215 --> 01:09:41,050 Fuck this, dude. I'm getting out of here before I get in really big trouble. 1404 01:09:41,135 --> 01:09:43,094 - I heard that. - Stan! 1405 01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:44,179 Dude, I found the clitoris, 1406 01:09:44,263 --> 01:09:46,181 so now I think I can get Wendy to like me again. 1407 01:09:46,265 --> 01:09:47,473 That's swell, Stan. 1408 01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,058 Yeah, I guess all's well that ends well, huh? 1409 01:09:49,143 --> 01:09:51,102 We can go home now, you dipshit! 1410 01:09:51,937 --> 01:09:53,521 - What's wrong with this thing? - Come on. 1411 01:09:53,606 --> 01:09:57,275 We can't let Terrance and Phillip die or else the whole world's gonna end! 1412 01:09:58,611 --> 01:10:00,695 - Terrance, look! - There they are! 1413 01:10:00,779 --> 01:10:02,530 Phillip, we're done for! 1414 01:10:02,615 --> 01:10:04,699 All right, men, fire! 1415 01:10:04,783 --> 01:10:06,451 Goodbye, Terrance. 1416 01:10:10,998 --> 01:10:13,208 - What is this? - Don't shoot! 1417 01:10:13,667 --> 01:10:17,128 I'll take care of this. Kids, get out of the way now! 1418 01:10:22,635 --> 01:10:25,887 - Kyle! - I'm not gonna let you kill them, Mom! 1419 01:10:25,971 --> 01:10:27,180 What? What? What? 1420 01:10:27,264 --> 01:10:28,848 I'm not moving! 1421 01:10:31,310 --> 01:10:32,435 Stand down, children. 1422 01:10:32,519 --> 01:10:34,687 You can still see fart jokes on Nickelodeon. 1423 01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:37,273 No! This is about more than fart jokes! 1424 01:10:37,358 --> 01:10:41,903 This is about freedom of speech, about censorship and stuff. 1425 01:10:41,987 --> 01:10:43,196 What about Ike, huh, Mom? 1426 01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:46,658 Did you forget that your own adopted son is Canadian? 1427 01:10:47,076 --> 01:10:50,912 I'm doing very important things. 1428 01:10:50,996 --> 01:10:53,581 But, Mom, you never took the time to talk to me. 1429 01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:56,960 Whenever I get in trouble, you go off and blame everybody else, 1430 01:10:57,044 --> 01:10:59,462 but I'm the one to blame. Deal with me. 1431 01:10:59,546 --> 01:11:01,965 You keep going off and fighting all these causes, 1432 01:11:02,049 --> 01:11:05,009 but I don't want a fighter. I want my mom. 1433 01:11:09,306 --> 01:11:10,932 Poor little fellow. 1434 01:11:11,350 --> 01:11:12,976 No! 1435 01:11:13,602 --> 01:11:14,602 Terrance! 1436 01:11:16,522 --> 01:11:19,816 - Holy shit, dude! - Young man, you watch your mouth! 1437 01:11:28,075 --> 01:11:30,034 My time has come! 1438 01:11:30,119 --> 01:11:32,370 You are really fucked now! 1439 01:11:32,454 --> 01:11:34,872 It's Saddam Hussein! Shoot him! 1440 01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:38,001 What a dumbass! 1441 01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:43,881 You have spilled the blood of the innocent! 1442 01:11:43,966 --> 01:11:46,926 Now begins two million years of darkness! 1443 01:11:47,011 --> 01:11:49,345 Good job, Ms. Broflovski! Thanks a lot! 1444 01:11:49,430 --> 01:11:52,807 I was just trying to make the world a better place for children. 1445 01:11:52,891 --> 01:11:54,934 Yeah, and you brought enough intolerance 1446 01:11:55,019 --> 01:11:56,644 to the world to allow my coming. 1447 01:11:56,729 --> 01:11:59,647 Now, everyone bow down to me! 1448 01:12:02,693 --> 01:12:04,027 Bend over! 1449 01:12:04,403 --> 01:12:06,029 What have we done? 1450 01:12:06,113 --> 01:12:08,740 Saddam, I am the dark ruler, not you. 1451 01:12:08,824 --> 01:12:11,909 Relax, bitch. You're better seen, not heard. 1452 01:12:11,994 --> 01:12:13,411 I can't. 1453 01:12:13,495 --> 01:12:16,122 Let's start by building a big statue of me 1454 01:12:16,206 --> 01:12:18,166 right over there where that fat kid is standing. 1455 01:12:18,250 --> 01:12:20,918 Hey, don't call me fat, butt-fucker! 1456 01:12:26,717 --> 01:12:28,593 Yeah, Cartman, do it! 1457 01:12:28,677 --> 01:12:31,929 Damn! Shit! Respect my fucking authority! 1458 01:12:33,474 --> 01:12:34,474 Yes! 1459 01:12:34,558 --> 01:12:37,226 Hey! You need to watch your mouth, brat! 1460 01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:39,103 Dog shit taco! 1461 01:12:43,609 --> 01:12:45,234 Quick, Satan, do something! 1462 01:12:45,319 --> 01:12:47,278 Try this on for size. 1463 01:12:47,821 --> 01:12:51,115 Blood-drenched frozen tampon Popsicle! 1464 01:12:53,118 --> 01:12:57,622 Hey, buddy, I know I was mean before, but don't worry, I can change. 1465 01:12:59,124 --> 01:13:00,375 Okay. 1466 01:13:01,877 --> 01:13:03,002 Not! 1467 01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:06,631 Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner, 1468 01:13:06,715 --> 01:13:09,050 bitch, muff, pussy, cock, butthole, 1469 01:13:09,134 --> 01:13:10,885 Barbra Streisand! 1470 01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:19,060 What are you waiting for, bitch? Destroy him. 1471 01:13:19,728 --> 01:13:21,813 Come on, you weak, stupid come-bucket! Save me! 1472 01:13:21,897 --> 01:13:23,398 That's it! 1473 01:13:24,066 --> 01:13:27,276 I have had enough of you! 1474 01:13:28,320 --> 01:13:31,489 Hey, guy, relax! 1475 01:13:40,374 --> 01:13:43,876 He spent so much time convincing me I was weak and stupid 1476 01:13:43,961 --> 01:13:46,254 that I believed it myself. 1477 01:13:47,131 --> 01:13:49,298 I have you to thank, little one. 1478 01:13:49,383 --> 01:13:51,926 You showed me that I had to get away from him. 1479 01:13:52,010 --> 01:13:55,304 Just make any wish you want, and I shall grant it. 1480 01:13:58,183 --> 01:14:00,226 - Are you sure, Kenny? - What did he say? 1481 01:14:00,310 --> 01:14:02,979 He said that his wish is for everything to go back to the way it was 1482 01:14:03,063 --> 01:14:04,939 before this horrible war. 1483 01:14:05,023 --> 01:14:08,609 Kenny, you realize that means you'd go back, too? 1484 01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:21,289 Very well, then. I will pull all my minions back. 1485 01:14:21,373 --> 01:14:24,667 I guess I'm destined to live in hell. Alone. 1486 01:14:26,378 --> 01:14:28,296 Hello. What's this? 1487 01:14:28,881 --> 01:14:33,050 Hi, there, little guy. Would you like to go to hell with me? 1488 01:14:33,802 --> 01:14:37,472 Sure. I bet we could be best friends, Mr. Satan. 1489 01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:40,475 Feel free to come back and visit us any time you want, Satan. 1490 01:14:40,559 --> 01:14:42,310 I just might do that. 1491 01:14:42,394 --> 01:14:43,394 Thank you, Kenny. 1492 01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,729 Yeah, thanks for going back to hell for us. 1493 01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:46,647 You're a real pal. 1494 01:14:51,069 --> 01:14:52,862 Goodbye, you guys. 1495 01:15:05,417 --> 01:15:07,376 I'm alive. Where's Mr. Hat? 1496 01:15:07,461 --> 01:15:10,087 Wow! We were all dying and now we're fine! 1497 01:15:10,172 --> 01:15:11,756 That's super! 1498 01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:14,008 What the fuck's going on? 1499 01:15:17,930 --> 01:15:19,138 You see, Mom? After all that, 1500 01:15:19,223 --> 01:15:21,849 it was Can'tmars filthy fucking mouth that saved us all. 1501 01:15:21,934 --> 01:15:24,977 I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to you, Kyle. 1502 01:15:27,439 --> 01:15:29,106 But, Wendy, what about Gregory? 1503 01:15:29,191 --> 01:15:31,025 Stan, I never really cared for Gregory. 1504 01:15:31,109 --> 01:15:32,818 - You didn't? - No, dude. Fuck Gregory! 1505 01:15:32,903 --> 01:15:36,197 - Fuck him right in the ear! - Thank you, clitoris. 1506 01:15:36,281 --> 01:15:39,867 Everything worked out What a happy end 1507 01:15:39,952 --> 01:15:44,163 Americans and Canadians are friends again 1508 01:15:44,248 --> 01:15:47,208 So let's all join hands and knock oppression down 1509 01:15:47,292 --> 01:15:48,376 Good Lordy, I'm found 1510 01:15:48,460 --> 01:15:51,254 Don't you know our little lives are now complete? 1511 01:15:51,338 --> 01:15:53,422 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet 1512 01:15:53,507 --> 01:15:54,799 Super sweet! 1513 01:15:54,883 --> 01:15:57,635 Thank God we live in this quiet 1514 01:15:57,719 --> 01:16:01,222 Little, pissant, redneck Podunk, jerkwater 1515 01:16:01,306 --> 01:16:03,558 Greenorn, one-horse Mudhole, peckerwood 1516 01:16:03,642 --> 01:16:06,143 Right-wing, whistle-stop Hobnail, truck-driving 1517 01:16:06,228 --> 01:16:08,354 Old-fashioned, hayseed Inbred, unkempt 1518 01:16:08,438 --> 01:16:10,189 Out-of-date, out-of-touch, white-trash 1519 01:16:10,274 --> 01:16:15,403 Kick-ass, mountain 1520 01:16:15,487 --> 01:16:19,407 Town! 1521 01:16:20,784 --> 01:16:22,034 Look! 1522 01:21:07,779 --> 01:21:09,822 Guys, up there is Hodun. 1523 01:21:10,305 --> 01:22:10,479 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/kttp Help other users to choose the best subtitles