1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:53,490 Last orders, please. 3 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,000 - Shaun. - Yeah? 4 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,290 - Do you see what I'm saying? - Yeah, totally. 5 00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:09,090 I know he's your best friend but you do live with him. 6 00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:10,670 I know... 7 00:01:10,710 --> 00:01:14,300 It's not that I don't like Ed. Ed, it's not that I don't like you. 8 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,680 It's all right. 9 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,890 - It'd just be nice if we could... - Fuck. 10 00:01:19,930 --> 00:01:23,100 ...spend a bit more time together. - Bollocks. 11 00:01:23,190 --> 00:01:25,190 - Just the two of us. - Cock it. 12 00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:28,690 With Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out 13 00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:30,780 and that only exacerbates things. 14 00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:34,910 - What do you mean? - You guys hardly get on, do you? 15 00:01:34,950 --> 00:01:36,910 No, what does "exacerbate" mean? 16 00:01:36,950 --> 00:01:38,910 It means to make things worse. 17 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:40,950 Right, right. 18 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,710 Well, I mean, it's not that I don't like David and Di, you know. 19 00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:48,290 - Guys, it's not that I don't like you. - It's all right. 20 00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:50,500 And I do want to spend time with you. 21 00:01:50,590 --> 00:01:53,510 It's just Ed doesn't have too many friends. 22 00:01:53,590 --> 00:01:57,010 Can I get any of you cunts a drink? 23 00:01:58,890 --> 00:02:00,810 Anybody? 24 00:02:00,890 --> 00:02:03,310 No, thank you. 25 00:02:03,350 --> 00:02:05,480 I know... 26 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,650 friends are important to Shaun 27 00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:10,900 but you must set some quality time aside for yourselves. 28 00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:14,110 Daffs is always taking me to see these listed buildings 29 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,610 and I'm always dragging him to the theatre. 30 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:19,490 - I'm not so hot on theatre. - How about a meal? 31 00:02:19,580 --> 00:02:22,500 - It's your anniversary soon. - It was last week. 32 00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:25,410 - Did you do anything special? - We came here. 33 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,580 Shaun. Hog lumps. 34 00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:31,000 Shaun, what I'm trying to say is I need something more, 35 00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:34,590 more than spending every night in the Winchester. 36 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,930 I want to do more interesting stuff. 37 00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:41,180 I want you to want to want to do it. 38 00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:44,310 Listen to me. I'm beginning to sound like your mum. 39 00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:47,100 - Not that I'd know. - You haven't met his mum? 40 00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:49,980 - Not yet. - Don't you get along with your mum? 41 00:02:50,110 --> 00:02:53,480 - It's not her... - Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun? 42 00:02:53,610 --> 00:02:55,780 - No, I love my mum. - I love his mum. 43 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,070 Ed! 44 00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:00,240 - Shaun! - Liz. 45 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,410 I understand what you're trying to say and I agree. 46 00:03:03,490 --> 00:03:05,960 We should get out there. We'll start tomorrow. 47 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,290 I'll book a restaurant. The place that does all the fish. 48 00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:11,210 Just the two of us. 49 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:14,090 Things will change. I promise. 50 00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:16,010 Really, Shaun? 51 00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:20,010 Time, gentlemen. 52 00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:23,600 Shaun? 53 00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:30,080 "Player two has entered the game." 54 00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:32,370 Haven't you got work? 55 00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:35,090 "Player two has left the game." 56 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:49,680 The front door was open again last night. 57 00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:54,810 - I'm not saying it was you. - I know, man. 58 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,480 - I'm saying it was Ed. - Right. 59 00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:00,490 I can't live like this. 60 00:05:00,610 --> 00:05:04,280 Look at the state of it. We're not students any more. 61 00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:07,280 - Pete... - He brings no money into the house. 62 00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:10,160 - He brings a bit. - What? Dealing drugs? 63 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,290 He sells a bit of weed now and again. You've sold puff. 64 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:16,090 Yeah, once. At college. To you. 65 00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:20,880 I've known him since primary school. I like having him around, he's a laugh. 66 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,550 Because he can impersonate an orang-utan? 67 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:26,350 - Fuck-a-doodle-doo. - Leave him alone. 68 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:29,060 I admit, he can be pretty funny on occasion. 69 00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:33,690 Like that time we stayed up all night drinking apple schnapps and playing Tekken 2. 70 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:37,480 - When was that? - Five years ago. 71 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,690 When's he going home? 72 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:43,280 Hey, man, listen... Top left. 73 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:45,780 - Uh-huh. - I was gonna say... Reload. 74 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,990 - I'm on it. - Erm, since... Nice shot! 75 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,000 Thanks. 76 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,870 Two seconds. 77 00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:56,250 - All right, Noodle? - "Got anything?" 78 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:58,590 - No, man. - "Eball says you was holding." 79 00:05:58,710 --> 00:06:01,010 - I ain't got nothing. - "Nothing at all?" 80 00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:04,380 I've only got an "enry meself. All right, laters. 81 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,300 - Listen... - Ed... 82 00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:12,810 since you're not working at the moment could you please clean up a bit? 83 00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:16,690 And if you play the answer machine, can you take down everyone's messages? 84 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,400 - Yep. - It's not that taxing, is it? 85 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,980 Writing something on a scrap of paper? 86 00:06:22,110 --> 00:06:24,280 - Nope. - Right. 87 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,870 - Dom, hi... 88 00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:31,160 Come on, it was pretty funny. 89 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,790 - Will you do what he said? - I ain't doing nothing for him. 90 00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:36,790 Do it for me, then. 91 00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,460 I'm sorry, Shaun. 92 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,710 - It's all right. - No, no. 93 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,800 I'm sorry, Shaun. 94 00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:48,760 Oh! 95 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,890 Oh, my God, that's rotten. 96 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:54,390 - I'll stop doing 'em when you stop laughing. - I am not laughing. 97 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,310 - Get that. - You get it. 98 00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:02,270 "Shaun, it's me. I'm gonna be a bit tied up today 99 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:05,400 "so can you book the table for eight rather than seven? 100 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:07,490 "I'll try you at work. Bye, bye." 101 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,580 Hey! You're dead. 102 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,000 - Spare some change, please, mister? - Yeah. 103 00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:28,510 Watch out. Are you blind? 104 00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:42,360 "The American deep space probe Omega 6 105 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,490 "unexpectedly re-entered Earth's atmosphere over England 106 00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:48,490 "and broke apart over..." 107 00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:06,010 Nelson? 108 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,880 Nelson? 109 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,680 Hello, my friend. No beer today? 110 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,890 No, it's a bit early for me. 111 00:08:26,690 --> 00:08:30,200 Gather round, everyone. Gather round, please. 112 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,740 Gather round. 113 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,240 As well as Mr Sloman being off today 114 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,080 I'm afraid Ash is feeling a little bit under the weather, 115 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,500 so I will be taking charge as the... 116 00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:43,540 - Oldest. - Senior staff member. 117 00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:46,500 So if we can all pull together... 118 00:08:47,590 --> 00:08:50,090 - Hello? Hello, mate. - Noel? 119 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,550 I was totally munted last night. 120 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:55,680 Yeah, I spoke to him. He's only got Henry. 121 00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:59,310 All right, mate. Laters. 122 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,860 - Continue. - Thank you. 123 00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:15,410 Erm, as Mr Sloman always says, there's no I in team but there is an I in pie. 124 00:09:15,490 --> 00:09:17,740 In... There's an I in meat pie. 125 00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:21,290 The anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he's talking about. 126 00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:23,670 Phones off. It's not a social gathering. 127 00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:28,300 - All right, keep your hair on, grandad. - Hey! I'm 29 for Christ's sakes. 128 00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:30,800 - How old are you? 20? 21? - 17. 129 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,010 Hey, well... 130 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:37,810 I know you don't wanna be here forever. I got things I wanna do with my life. 131 00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:40,310 When? 132 00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:42,600 You got red on you. 133 00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:46,810 Hello, mate. 134 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,860 This one comes with a basic digital package. 135 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:53,780 You've got your lifestyle channels there, a bit of Trisha. 136 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:57,700 Er, you've got entertainment. I don't know what that is. 137 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:00,700 News. All the basic, er... news... 138 00:10:00,740 --> 00:10:03,710 - channels. - "Bizarre events..." 139 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:06,460 "Coming after me..." 140 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:09,000 - Shaun. - I'm with customers. 141 00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:11,090 It's your dad. 142 00:10:11,130 --> 00:10:13,170 He's not my dad, 143 00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:15,180 he's my stepdad. 144 00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,180 Philip. 145 00:10:21,890 --> 00:10:23,180 Shaun. 146 00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:27,310 You haven't forgotten about tomorrow? 147 00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:30,400 - No. - Your bimonthly visit. 148 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,360 No, I haven't forgotten. 149 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,990 You could bring the flowers you forgot on Mother's Day. 150 00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:36,990 I was gonna. 151 00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:39,490 And not a cheap posy from a garage forecourt. 152 00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,910 I wasn't gonna. 153 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:46,420 Well, we look forward to seeing you tomorrow. 154 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,000 OK. 155 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,090 You've got red on you. 156 00:10:57,010 --> 00:11:00,100 - I thought it wasn't a social gathering? - What? 157 00:11:00,140 --> 00:11:03,180 How comes you're allowed to speak to your dad? 158 00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:06,390 A, he's not my dad, OK? He's my stepdad. 159 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,150 And B, it was an emergency. 160 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:12,650 What, like buying your mum some flowers? 161 00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:17,780 Noel, I do not find it difficult to keep my work and my social life separate. 162 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,280 Shaun, it's Liz for you. 163 00:11:22,990 --> 00:11:25,250 - Hello. - "Hello, it's me." 164 00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:27,500 - Hello. - "Did you get my message?" 165 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:30,000 - Yep. - "So it's all OK, then?" 166 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,090 - Yep. - "Eight at the place with all the fish?" 167 00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:36,550 "Cool, that's great. Just ring me later." 168 00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:39,840 - Goodbye, Liz. - "Bye. Bye, bye, bye." 169 00:11:39,890 --> 00:11:43,180 Liz from Head Office. It's nothing to panic about. 170 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,480 Sir? Sir? 171 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,110 Sorry. Erm, they're for my mum. 172 00:11:52,190 --> 00:11:57,490 Mum."To a wonderful Mum" or "Supermum"? 173 00:11:57,610 --> 00:12:00,280 - Er... the first one. - Right. 174 00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:20,510 "... London seems to have gone completely bonkers..." 175 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,910 - Oh, my God! Shaun! - Yvonne. 176 00:12:45,910 --> 00:12:48,790 Oooh! How are you doing? 177 00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:51,210 - Surviving. - Are you living round here? 178 00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:54,290 - Yeah, are you? - Yeah, I just bought a place. 179 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,380 - Bought? - I know, bit grown-up, eh? 180 00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:59,720 - Are you still with...? - Liz. 181 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:04,010 That's great. Glad somebody made it. How long's that been now? 182 00:13:04,090 --> 00:13:08,310 - Er, it's three years ago last week. - Did you do anything special? 183 00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:11,310 - We're going out for a meal tonight. - Anywhere nice? 184 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,110 Yeah... 185 00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:20,990 Come on! 186 00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:26,490 - Are you gonna thank me, then? - For what? 187 00:13:26,580 --> 00:13:28,450 Tidying up. 188 00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:31,580 - It doesn't look tidy. - I had a few beers when I finished. 189 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,080 "Hello, Fulci's. Can you hold, please?" 190 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,380 - Do you want your messages? - What? 191 00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:38,710 Your mum rang about tomorrow night. 192 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,590 Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight. 193 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,390 Then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight. 194 00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:48,680 - "Hello, Fulci's." - Hi, I know it's short notice 195 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:52,980 but could you possibly do me a table for two for tonight at about eight? 196 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,900 "Sorry, we just gave away the last table." 197 00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:01,990 Wasn't true about your mum. 198 00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:03,570 Where are we gonna go? 199 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:06,490 - The Winchester. - Don't be stupid! They don't do food. 200 00:14:06,620 --> 00:14:09,790 - There's a Breville out back. - Ed, this is serious! 201 00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:11,660 Hello. 202 00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,710 - "Hello, it's me." - Hello. 203 00:14:13,790 --> 00:14:15,670 "What's the plan, then?" 204 00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:20,000 Erm, there's been a bit of a... a mix-up with the table, babe. 205 00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:23,380 - "What do you mean?" - They're full up. 206 00:14:23,510 --> 00:14:26,090 "But... I thought you said it was all OK?" 207 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:27,890 Yeah. 208 00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:30,810 "You didn't book it, did you, Shaun?" 209 00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:33,600 - No. - "So... what is the plan, then?" 210 00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:40,690 The Winchester? 211 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:47,200 - "Hello?" - Dianne, can you let me in? 212 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,080 - "I'm not sure, Shaun." - Oh, come on. 213 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,660 "Lizzie doesn't want to see you." 214 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:56,500 - Just open the door! - "She doesn't want to see you." 215 00:14:56,580 --> 00:15:01,380 Do you want me to climb up the wall, come through the window? Because I will. 216 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,380 "You're not coming in." 217 00:15:03,510 --> 00:15:05,800 - OK, see you in a minute. - "Don't..." 218 00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:18,900 "Hi, it's me again." 219 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:21,480 Can we just talk about this? Let's go out. 220 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,980 - To the Winchester? - Do you want to? 221 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,900 - No, I don't fucking want to! - OK. 222 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:29,110 It's not the only place in the world. 223 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,160 We'll go to the Shepherd's, they do Thai in there. 224 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,000 - I'm going out with David and Di. - Let's go together. 225 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,420 You hang out with my friends? "A failed actress and a twat"? 226 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:42,000 That's harsh. I did not call Dianne a failed actress. 227 00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:46,510 Let's just go somewhere and have a laugh. Things'll be fine, I promise. 228 00:15:46,590 --> 00:15:48,470 You promised you'd stop smoking. 229 00:15:48,510 --> 00:15:51,680 You promised you'd try drinking red wine instead of beer! 230 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,100 - You promised we'd go on holiday. - We went to Greece! 231 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,480 - We met in Greece. - At a rave. 232 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,400 It's not the same. You promised things would change. 233 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,770 - You promised us free cable. - I'm working on that. 234 00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:08,110 I can give up smoking whenever I want. See, don't need them. 235 00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:09,990 What was the next one? 236 00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:12,410 It's not enough, Shaun. 237 00:16:12,490 --> 00:16:17,080 "We appear to have a breakdown in communication there. 238 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,710 "If you or someone you know may..." 239 00:16:19,790 --> 00:16:22,210 I'd say your nine lives were up, Shaun. 240 00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:24,040 Get fucked, four-eyes! 241 00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:26,710 You go out with her, you love her so much. 242 00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:28,720 What do you mean by that? 243 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:34,100 "... the devastation really is extensive. It's a total mess." 244 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:36,390 I don't know what he meant by that. 245 00:16:39,810 --> 00:16:41,980 Got you these. 246 00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:50,910 - "To a wonderful mum"? - Oooh! 247 00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:53,450 Yeah, that's because... 248 00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:57,700 I thought it would be funny because of what you said last night 249 00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:00,460 about you don't want to be my mum and that. 250 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:04,290 It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment. 251 00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:08,300 - They're for your mum, aren't they? - Yeah. 252 00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:10,010 Smooth. 253 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,600 If I don't do something, I'll end up in that pub 254 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,900 for the rest of my life like those other sad old fuckers 255 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:26,570 wondering what the hell happened. 256 00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:29,110 What do you mean do something? 257 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,270 Fuck her. You got your pint. 258 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:07,400 You got your pig snacks. What more do you want? 259 00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:11,610 Oh. You want your favourite monkey? 260 00:18:12,990 --> 00:18:14,780 Shall I do Clyde? 261 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,090 See, I knew you'd get over her. 262 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:41,390 Who the hell put this on? 263 00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:43,850 It's on random. 264 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,600 For fuck's sake. John, yes please, mate. 265 00:18:50,690 --> 00:18:54,280 You know what we should do tomorrow? Keep drinking. 266 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,280 A Bloody Mary first thing, 267 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,580 a bite at the King's Head, couple at The Little Princess, 268 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,910 stagger back here and bang... back at the bar for shots. 269 00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:05,000 How's that for a slice of fried gold? 270 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,080 - No. - Come on, man. 271 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,380 Talk to me. 272 00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:15,670 She said if she stayed with me she'd end up in here for the rest of her life 273 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,180 like these sad old fuckers wondering what the hell happened. 274 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,060 That is harsh. 275 00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:24,680 - These are rich, interesting characters. - Like who? 276 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:31,610 Snakehips. Always surrounded by women. 277 00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:33,440 He's a bigamist. 278 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,490 Strangled his first wife with a draught excluder. 279 00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:38,700 And invented the mobile disco. 280 00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:41,950 What about her, then? 281 00:19:41,990 --> 00:19:44,290 Ooh! Cockacidal maniac. 282 00:19:46,210 --> 00:19:48,040 She's an ex-porn star. 283 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:52,210 They say she starred in the world's first interracial hardcore loop. 284 00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:55,010 Cafe Au Lait... 285 00:19:55,090 --> 00:19:57,510 Pour Vous. 286 00:19:58,510 --> 00:20:00,800 Yeah. What about John, then? 287 00:20:00,890 --> 00:20:03,810 He's North London Mafia. 288 00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:05,810 It's true, Big Al says so. 289 00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:08,640 Yeah, Big Al also says dogs can't look up. 290 00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:12,820 Think about it. Handy with a blade. Gruff demeanour. 291 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,940 Bernie, the trophy wife. 292 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,700 He's connected. Why is there a rifle above the bar? 293 00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:20,950 - The pub's called the Winchester. - Exactly. 294 00:20:20,990 --> 00:20:24,080 See, you don't need Liz to have a good time. 295 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,000 - Don't, man. - No. 296 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,080 Oi, look at me. 297 00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:32,710 Can I just say one thing? I'm not gonna say there's plenty more fish in the sea, 298 00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:35,090 I'm not gonna say if you love her let her go 299 00:20:35,210 --> 00:20:40,300 and I'm not gonna bombard you with clichés but what I will say is this... 300 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,090 it's not the end of the world. 301 00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:49,890 Sorry, we're closed. 302 00:20:52,690 --> 00:20:54,190 Pisshead. 303 00:21:07,910 --> 00:21:09,500 Oh? 304 00:21:09,580 --> 00:21:12,880 What's the matter, love, haven't you had your tea? 305 00:21:20,220 --> 00:21:22,890 Shh! 306 00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:25,680 Blow! 307 00:21:41,610 --> 00:21:43,610 What? He should say base. 308 00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:45,450 Or freeze. 309 00:21:45,490 --> 00:21:47,200 What a tit. 310 00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:07,680 Don't scratch it! Wait... 311 00:22:08,810 --> 00:22:13,480 - That was the second album I ever bought! - It's four in the fucking morning! 312 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,480 - It's Saturday! - No, it's not. 313 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,770 It's fucking Sunday and I've got to go to fucking work 314 00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:22,700 in four fucking hours because every other fucker is fucking ill! 315 00:22:22,740 --> 00:22:25,200 Now can you see why I'm so fucking angry? 316 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,070 - Fuck, yeah! - Hey! Pete, look, 317 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:32,580 I'm sorry, we had a couple of drinks, we split up with Liz tonight. 318 00:22:34,290 --> 00:22:36,500 Just keep it down, yeah? 319 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,000 Prick. 320 00:22:39,090 --> 00:22:40,800 What was that? 321 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,260 Nothing. 322 00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:46,140 - Stop it, we're friends! - He's not my friend. He's a fucking idiot. 323 00:22:46,180 --> 00:22:50,010 - What's that supposed to mean? - It means why don't you fuck off! 324 00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:53,680 You wanna live like an animal, live in the shed, you thick fuck! 325 00:22:53,730 --> 00:22:56,310 - Leave him alone! - Stop defending him. 326 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,150 All he ever does is hold you back. 327 00:22:58,190 --> 00:23:02,110 Or is it easier having someone around who's more of a loser than you? 328 00:23:02,150 --> 00:23:05,280 - What's that supposed to mean? - You know what I mean. 329 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,990 I assume it was Liz who did the dumping? 330 00:23:09,410 --> 00:23:12,040 Sort your fucking life out, mate. 331 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,710 What's up with your hand, man? 332 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,080 - I got mugged on the way home from work. - By who? 333 00:23:19,130 --> 00:23:22,090 - Some crackheads. One of them bit me. - Why? 334 00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:25,170 I don't know, I didn't stop to ask them! 335 00:23:25,220 --> 00:23:29,090 I've got a splitting headache and your stupid hip hop isn't helping. 336 00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:31,890 And the front door is open. Again! 337 00:23:33,810 --> 00:23:37,390 It's not hip hop, it's electro. Prick. 338 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,980 Next time I see him, he's dead. 339 00:23:50,910 --> 00:23:53,790 "Shaun, it's me. I'm gonna be a bit tied up today 340 00:23:53,910 --> 00:23:57,290 'so can you book the table for eight rather than seven? 341 00:23:57,330 --> 00:23:59,290 "I'll try you at work. Bye, bye." 342 00:24:00,790 --> 00:24:03,380 "Hello, pickle. It's me, Mum. 343 00:24:03,380 --> 00:24:07,680 "Dad mentioned you might be visiting tomorrow which would be lovely. 344 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,890 "Will you be bringing Elizabeth with you this time? 345 00:24:11,010 --> 00:24:13,390 "Only we can't wait to meet her finally 346 00:24:13,510 --> 00:24:17,810 "and also I was wondering if she wanted anything special for lunch? 347 00:24:17,890 --> 00:24:21,610 "Cos these days a lot of people don't eat meat." 348 00:24:33,990 --> 00:24:36,410 Do you want anything from the shop? 349 00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:39,710 Cornetto. 350 00:25:44,810 --> 00:25:47,190 Nelson, have you got any papers? 351 00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:51,400 Nelson? I haven't even... 352 00:25:51,490 --> 00:25:53,490 I owe you about 15p. 353 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,480 Oh dear. 354 00:26:29,110 --> 00:26:31,190 Sorry, I haven't got any change. 355 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:35,110 I didn't even have enough at the fucking shop. Oh dear. 356 00:26:44,420 --> 00:26:50,090 "... no official comment but religious groups are calling it Judgement Day. There's..." 357 00:26:53,010 --> 00:26:56,510 - "... number of reports of..." - "... serious attacks on..." 358 00:26:56,510 --> 00:26:59,310 - "... people who are being..." - "... eaten alive." 359 00:26:59,390 --> 00:27:03,600 "Witness reports are sketchy. One unifying detail seems to be 360 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,310 'that the attackers appear to be..." 361 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,770 "... the sensational chart-topping..." 362 00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:14,700 "... or ideological connection between those committing the atrocities..." 363 00:27:14,740 --> 00:27:16,950 There's a girl in the garden. 364 00:27:16,990 --> 00:27:20,700 - "... emergency services..." - What? 365 00:27:20,780 --> 00:27:22,790 In the garden, there is a girl. 366 00:27:22,910 --> 00:27:27,290 "... the armed forces will be called in to provide backup and assistance. 367 00:27:27,370 --> 00:27:32,090 "Scientists are still trying to establish the nature of the phenomenon 368 00:27:32,130 --> 00:27:34,720 "and are unsure as to the..." 369 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,090 Excuse me. 370 00:27:39,890 --> 00:27:41,810 Excuse me. 371 00:27:43,970 --> 00:27:45,390 Hello. 372 00:27:49,610 --> 00:27:51,900 - What are you doing? - Oi! 373 00:28:09,710 --> 00:28:11,290 Oh, my God. 374 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,800 She's so drunk. 375 00:28:19,090 --> 00:28:21,260 How much have you had, love? 376 00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:24,010 - Oh! I think she likes you. - Shut up. 377 00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:27,390 - She wants a cuddle! - I've just come out of a relationship. 378 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,110 - Ed, do something! - Wait there. 379 00:28:31,190 --> 00:28:33,190 - Ed! - Two seconds. 380 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,900 I'm really flattered and everything but... 381 00:28:37,780 --> 00:28:39,490 And, hold it there. 382 00:28:39,610 --> 00:28:41,620 Ed! Just get her off me. 383 00:28:41,620 --> 00:28:43,780 Jesus! 384 00:28:45,290 --> 00:28:49,500 - What's up with her eyes? - Now, seriously... 385 00:28:49,580 --> 00:28:53,290 Mary, I'm warning you, I'll have to get physical, I mean it! 386 00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:55,380 This is it... Look, just fuck off! 387 00:29:28,290 --> 00:29:30,920 - I think we should go back inside. - OK. 388 00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:41,680 - Shaun, what's going on? - Shit, it's engaged. 389 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,010 - How about an ambulance? - It's engaged, Ed. 390 00:29:45,890 --> 00:29:49,140 - Fire engine? - It's one number and it's busy! 391 00:29:49,180 --> 00:29:53,900 - And what do you want a fire engine for? - Anything with flashing lights. 392 00:29:53,980 --> 00:29:56,110 Are they still out there? 393 00:30:02,490 --> 00:30:05,780 Yeah. What do you think we should do? 394 00:30:05,830 --> 00:30:07,450 Have a sit-down? 395 00:30:07,490 --> 00:30:10,200 "There are reports of chaos on the motorways 396 00:30:10,290 --> 00:30:13,420 "as thousands of people attempt to flee the cities. 397 00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:17,000 "The M1, the M3, M4, M6..." 398 00:30:17,090 --> 00:30:21,550 - Do you think this is the same thing? - "... are all at a standstill. 399 00:30:21,590 --> 00:30:27,600 "The Home Office is urging people to stay in their homes and await further instruction." 400 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,470 "Ensure all residences are secure 401 00:30:30,470 --> 00:30:35,400 "with all doors and windows firmly locked and barricaded. Police..." 402 00:30:39,110 --> 00:30:42,190 - For God's sake! He's got an arm off! - Get him! 403 00:30:55,580 --> 00:31:01,710 "More reports just in confirm that in all cases the attackers seem slow and shambolic..." 404 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,970 I'm gonna shut the front door. 405 00:31:04,010 --> 00:31:08,010 "... regarding the best way to neutralise the attackers. 406 00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:13,100 "In the meantime, contact with these assailants is highly inadvisable." 407 00:31:13,180 --> 00:31:16,900 - Did you see his head go? - "If you're confronted..." 408 00:31:19,690 --> 00:31:22,780 - We should get out there. - No, we should stay inside. 409 00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:25,780 - We can take 'em. - The man said to stay indoors. 410 00:31:25,820 --> 00:31:28,410 - Fuck the man. - In here, we're safe. 411 00:31:31,700 --> 00:31:36,500 "... the attackers can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain. 412 00:31:36,540 --> 00:31:41,590 "I'll repeat that, by removing the head or destroying the brain." 413 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,300 Hey! 414 00:31:52,100 --> 00:31:53,810 Aim for the head. 415 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:13,790 - Now what? - Get more stuff. 416 00:32:13,910 --> 00:32:16,290 - What's in the shed? - Dunno, it's locked. 417 00:32:16,330 --> 00:32:18,710 - Why is it locked? - It's always been locked. 418 00:32:20,380 --> 00:32:22,710 No! That's the second album I ever bought! 419 00:32:29,890 --> 00:32:33,180 Some of these are limited... Ah! What was that? 420 00:32:33,310 --> 00:32:35,680 - Blue Monday. - That was an original pressing. 421 00:32:35,810 --> 00:32:37,810 For fuck's sake. 422 00:32:37,890 --> 00:32:39,770 - Erm... Purple Rain? - No. 423 00:32:39,810 --> 00:32:41,480 - Sign O' The Times? - Definitely not. 424 00:32:41,610 --> 00:32:43,610 - The Batman soundtrack? - Throw it. 425 00:32:46,190 --> 00:32:47,990 - Dire Straits? - Throw it. 426 00:32:51,780 --> 00:32:53,990 - Er... Ooh, Stone Roses? - No. 427 00:32:54,030 --> 00:32:56,200 - Second Coming? - I like it. 428 00:32:56,290 --> 00:32:58,250 Ah! Sade? 429 00:32:58,290 --> 00:33:00,420 - That's Liz's. - She dumped you. 430 00:33:02,290 --> 00:33:04,880 - I'm going to the shed. - You said it was locked. 431 00:33:15,510 --> 00:33:19,310 - Which one do you want? Girl or bloke? - Er... the first one. 432 00:33:37,410 --> 00:33:41,710 "People receiving bites have experienced headaches and nausea 433 00:33:41,750 --> 00:33:43,580 "and developed symptoms..." 434 00:33:43,710 --> 00:33:45,460 You've got red on you. 435 00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:47,800 "If you know someone who has been bitten 436 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:52,010 "it is absolutely essential that you isolate them immediately. 437 00:33:52,050 --> 00:33:56,100 "The public are being strongly advised not to approach anyone..." 438 00:33:56,310 --> 00:33:58,020 Pete? 439 00:34:01,310 --> 00:34:02,690 Pete? 440 00:34:02,810 --> 00:34:04,810 - Why don't we just go up? - Don't go up there! 441 00:34:04,900 --> 00:34:07,780 - Why not? - Because A, he might be one of them 442 00:34:07,900 --> 00:34:10,400 and B, he might still be annoyed. 443 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,280 Pete? 444 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,280 Maybe he went into work. 445 00:34:14,410 --> 00:34:17,450 How come he didn't drive? His keys are still here. 446 00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:22,000 Maybe he got a lift. He said he wasn't feeling well. Pete? 447 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,580 Oi, prick! 448 00:34:24,710 --> 00:34:26,880 He's not in. 449 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,710 - You got a fag? - No, I've given up. 450 00:34:29,710 --> 00:34:32,090 - Since when? - Since... 451 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,470 Come on, babe. Oh, she's engaged. 452 00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:40,020 - That was quick. - Ed, this is serious. 453 00:34:40,020 --> 00:34:41,350 Liz! 454 00:34:41,390 --> 00:34:44,690 - "Shaun." - Mum! I was gonna call you. Are you OK? 455 00:34:44,730 --> 00:34:46,690 - "Yes." - Are you sure? 456 00:34:46,810 --> 00:34:49,280 "Some men tried to get into the house." 457 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,200 - Are they still there? - "I'm not sure. We shut the curtains." 458 00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:56,780 - Did you try the police? - "Well, I thought about it." 459 00:34:56,820 --> 00:35:00,200 - Are you OK? Did they hurt you? - "No, I'm fine." 460 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:04,210 - Mum? - "Well... they were a bit bitey." 461 00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:09,800 - Mum, have you been bitten? - "No, but Philip has." 462 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:11,800 - Oh, OK. - Has she been bitten? 463 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,550 - No, Philip has. - Oh, OK. 464 00:35:13,590 --> 00:35:17,890 - Mum, what state is he in? - "He's fine. Bit under the weather." 465 00:35:18,010 --> 00:35:19,760 - I see. - What's the deal? 466 00:35:19,810 --> 00:35:23,980 We may have to kill my stepdad. Mum, you're not safe there. I'm coming. 467 00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:27,310 - "I don't want to cause a fuss." - We're coming to get you, Barbara! 468 00:35:27,980 --> 00:35:30,480 So, what's the plan? 469 00:35:33,110 --> 00:35:34,280 Right. 470 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,910 "We take Pete's car, we drive over to Mum's, 471 00:35:37,950 --> 00:35:41,200 "we go in, we take care of Philip." 472 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:43,410 I'm so sorry, Philip. 473 00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:45,920 "Then we grab Mum, go over to Liz's place, 474 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,040 "hole up, have a cup of tea 475 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,880 "and wait for all this to blow over." 476 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,710 - Why have we got to go to Liz's? - Because we do. 477 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,510 - She dumped you. - I have to know if she's all right. 478 00:35:56,550 --> 00:35:58,890 - Why? - Because I love her. 479 00:36:00,100 --> 00:36:02,060 All right, gay. 480 00:36:02,100 --> 00:36:04,730 - I'm not staying there, though. - Why not? 481 00:36:04,770 --> 00:36:07,350 If we hole up, I want to be somewhere familiar, 482 00:36:07,390 --> 00:36:11,320 I wanna know where the exits are and I wanna be allowed to smoke. 483 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,440 OK... 484 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,490 "Take Pete's car, go round Mum's, 485 00:36:15,610 --> 00:36:17,990 "go in, deal with Philip." 486 00:36:18,110 --> 00:36:19,280 Sorry, Philip. 487 00:36:19,410 --> 00:36:22,740 "Grab mum, go to Liz's, pick her up, bring her back here, 488 00:36:22,790 --> 00:36:26,080 "have a cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over." 489 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,460 Perfik. 490 00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:30,380 No, wait, we can't bring them back here. 491 00:36:30,500 --> 00:36:33,090 - Why not? - It's not exactly safe, is it? 492 00:36:33,210 --> 00:36:35,970 Yeah. Look at the state of it. 493 00:36:35,970 --> 00:36:38,680 Where's safe? Where's familiar? 494 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,300 Where can I smoke? 495 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,060 "Take car, go to Mum's, kill Phil." 496 00:36:48,100 --> 00:36:51,400 - Sorry. - "Grab Liz, go to the Winchester, 497 00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:55,190 "have a nice cold pint and wait for all this to blow over." 498 00:36:56,190 --> 00:36:58,780 How's that for a slice of fried gold? 499 00:36:58,900 --> 00:37:00,490 Yeah, boy! 500 00:37:00,610 --> 00:37:03,700 "To recap, it is vital that you stay in your homes. 501 00:37:03,780 --> 00:37:06,080 "Make no attempt to reach loved ones 502 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,710 "and avoid all physical contact with the assailants." 503 00:37:09,790 --> 00:37:12,500 Do you believe everything you hear on TV? 504 00:37:13,500 --> 00:37:16,300 Yeah, I can see it, it's just outside. 505 00:37:16,340 --> 00:37:18,300 Any zombies out there? 506 00:37:19,300 --> 00:37:21,010 - Don't say that. - What? 507 00:37:21,090 --> 00:37:22,970 - That. - What? 508 00:37:23,010 --> 00:37:25,310 That. The Z word. Don't say it. 509 00:37:25,390 --> 00:37:27,810 - Why not? - Because it's ridiculous. 510 00:37:27,890 --> 00:37:31,310 All right. Are there any out there, though? 511 00:37:33,190 --> 00:37:36,480 Can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that. 512 00:37:36,530 --> 00:37:38,490 Oh! No, there they are. 513 00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:42,990 - OK, let's do this, yeah? - Yeah? 514 00:37:43,030 --> 00:37:45,080 Yeah! I got to do a wee first. 515 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,080 Ooh... can I drive? 516 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,660 What? 517 00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:52,500 I always wanted to drive Pete's car. I might not get another chance. 518 00:37:52,540 --> 00:37:54,080 OK. 519 00:38:24,700 --> 00:38:26,410 Ahh! Oh, God. 520 00:38:26,490 --> 00:38:30,700 Sorry, Pete. Listen, we're gonna borrow your car, OK? 521 00:38:30,750 --> 00:38:32,670 Erm, we'll bring it back. 522 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:37,710 And if you're feeling better later, we're... we're going to the pub. 523 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:41,090 You're more than welcome to, er... 524 00:38:41,130 --> 00:38:42,510 join us. 525 00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,980 Pete'd be so pissed off if he knew I was driving his car. 526 00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:54,480 I don't think so. 527 00:38:57,110 --> 00:38:59,480 Shaun, which button's central locking? 528 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:05,990 Oh, cock it! 529 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,200 Get lost! 530 00:39:22,590 --> 00:39:24,510 Drive. 531 00:39:26,180 --> 00:39:30,510 "The Church of England has joined other extremist religious groups 532 00:39:30,510 --> 00:39:33,680 "in proclaiming this "a sign of a coming apocalypse". 533 00:39:33,810 --> 00:39:37,770 "Downing Street is refusing to be drawn into a religious debate. 534 00:39:37,810 --> 00:39:43,280 "The bodies of the recently deceased are returning to life and attacking the living." 535 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,070 Let's put something else on. 536 00:39:46,110 --> 00:39:48,490 What are you doing? Ed, look out! 537 00:39:52,790 --> 00:39:54,790 I think we hit something. 538 00:39:57,290 --> 00:39:59,080 Or someone. 539 00:39:59,210 --> 00:40:00,710 Ow! 540 00:40:08,180 --> 00:40:10,850 Are you all right? 541 00:40:10,890 --> 00:40:12,890 Come on, let's just go. 542 00:40:13,810 --> 00:40:14,980 Hello? 543 00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:18,100 - He's gonna be dead either way. - That's not the point. 544 00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:25,900 Oh, thank God for that. 545 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,780 Ah, hello. 546 00:40:32,790 --> 00:40:34,580 Who's a pretty boy then? 547 00:40:38,290 --> 00:40:41,790 You didn't say Barbara had a Jag. I've always wanted to drive a Jag. 548 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,050 It's Philip's. He won't let anybody near it. 549 00:40:44,090 --> 00:40:47,590 I put a Mars Bar in it once and he chased me with a bit of wood. 550 00:40:47,630 --> 00:40:51,100 - Fuck, it's gorgeous. - It seems pretty clear, we should go. 551 00:40:51,180 --> 00:40:53,850 Why don't I stay here? 552 00:40:53,890 --> 00:40:55,980 What, what, what, what, what? 553 00:40:55,980 --> 00:40:59,810 You know, just look after the car. If there's any problems... 554 00:40:59,900 --> 00:41:01,810 I'll honk three times. 555 00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:02,980 OK. 556 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,610 Don't forget to kill Philip! 557 00:41:10,780 --> 00:41:12,910 - Hello, pickle. - Hi, Mum. 558 00:41:13,580 --> 00:41:15,410 You've got red on you. 559 00:41:15,490 --> 00:41:18,580 Yeah. Mum, is everything OK? Are you all right? 560 00:41:18,620 --> 00:41:20,880 - Yes, I'm fine. - Where's Philip? 561 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,290 - Dad's in the lounge. - He's not my dad. 562 00:41:23,340 --> 00:41:24,590 Really! 563 00:41:24,710 --> 00:41:27,010 Ed's outside, we'll take you somewhere safe. 564 00:41:27,090 --> 00:41:30,550 - What about the doctor? - I don't think he's gonna come. 565 00:41:30,590 --> 00:41:34,010 - Philip won't want to leave the house. - Philip isn't... 566 00:41:34,010 --> 00:41:36,810 Put the kettle on and I'll deal with Philip. 567 00:41:36,890 --> 00:41:38,640 - OK. - OK, then. 568 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,350 - You hungry? - Not really. 569 00:41:40,390 --> 00:41:42,690 - I'll make some sandwiches. - OK. 570 00:41:43,610 --> 00:41:45,610 No fighting, you two. 571 00:41:46,690 --> 00:41:49,610 "... you may ask where is our God? 572 00:41:50,610 --> 00:41:54,410 "But throughout the land, men and women of integrity 573 00:41:54,450 --> 00:41:57,080 "rise up to confront the unseen enemy. 574 00:41:58,700 --> 00:42:00,920 "They will not be cowards, 575 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:04,500 'they will be courageous in the face of danger." 576 00:42:10,510 --> 00:42:12,800 - I'm so sorry, Philip. - Why? 577 00:42:12,890 --> 00:42:15,180 - What have you done now? - Nothing. 578 00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:17,600 What have you got there? Flowers, I hope. 579 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,350 No, it's... cricket bat. 580 00:42:20,390 --> 00:42:23,150 - Is that for the jumble, Shaun? - No. Yes. 581 00:42:23,190 --> 00:42:26,610 Your toys are upstairs. I was going to give them to the jumble. 582 00:42:26,650 --> 00:42:29,610 - I took them all to the tip, Barbara. - What? 583 00:42:29,690 --> 00:42:32,610 - Shaun wants to take us somewhere. - Don't be silly. 584 00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:35,280 Maybe you should stay here and wait for the doctor. 585 00:42:35,410 --> 00:42:38,580 - You said he wasn't coming. - You didn't call the doctor? 586 00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:43,420 - Just to be on the safe side. - I'm fine. I ran it under a cold tap. 587 00:42:43,500 --> 00:42:46,590 We had ourjabs when we went to the Isle of Wight. 588 00:42:46,630 --> 00:42:49,300 - But, Philip... - It's overblown nonsense. 589 00:42:49,380 --> 00:42:53,380 - A lot of drug nuts running wild. - But I should get Mum away. 590 00:42:53,430 --> 00:42:56,510 - I'm not going anywhere without Philip. - Mum, look! 591 00:42:56,510 --> 00:42:59,350 How about that tea? 592 00:42:59,390 --> 00:43:03,140 Mum, how much do you love Philip? 593 00:43:03,190 --> 00:43:06,810 - Two sugars, is it? - I haven't had sugar in my tea since 1982. 594 00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:09,690 Oh, yes. Will you cut me some bread, love? 595 00:43:09,730 --> 00:43:12,360 Mum, look, how much do you love Philip? 596 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,990 Do we have to go through all that again? 597 00:43:15,110 --> 00:43:19,080 What would you say if I told you that Philip's been quite unkind to me? 598 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,000 You weren't easy to live with. 599 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,580 - He chased me with a bit of wood! - You did call him a you-know-what. 600 00:43:24,620 --> 00:43:27,500 - Did he tell you that? Motherfucker. - Shaun! 601 00:43:27,540 --> 00:43:29,380 Sorry, Mother... Mum! 602 00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:33,880 Did you know that on several occasions... he touched me? 603 00:43:39,390 --> 00:43:42,470 That wasn't true. Made it up, shouldn't have, sorry. 604 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,690 - You don't understand... - No, you don't understand. 605 00:43:45,810 --> 00:43:48,610 Philip is my husband and has been for 17 years 606 00:43:48,690 --> 00:43:52,110 and I would at least expect you to respect my feelings. 607 00:43:52,190 --> 00:43:54,780 You must be more adult about these things. 608 00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:56,660 Yeah. 609 00:43:56,700 --> 00:44:00,780 Come on, Shaun. There comes a time when... 610 00:44:01,790 --> 00:44:04,080 you just... 611 00:44:04,210 --> 00:44:06,210 gotta be a man. 612 00:44:13,090 --> 00:44:15,590 I'm telling you, it's a fuss over nothing. 613 00:44:15,670 --> 00:44:17,510 Hello, Edward. 614 00:44:17,590 --> 00:44:20,010 - Hi, Barbara. - My, how you've grown. 615 00:44:20,100 --> 00:44:23,520 You better believe it. What happened? Why is he coming? 616 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,890 - It wasn't as easy as all that. - Are we following you? 617 00:44:26,980 --> 00:44:30,400 No, it's probably best if we... Where's the car? 618 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,400 Hmm... I pranged it. 619 00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:34,990 You were parked. 620 00:44:35,110 --> 00:44:36,780 Yeah. 621 00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,280 I guess we'll have to take the Jag. 622 00:44:40,910 --> 00:44:43,080 - Philip? - What? 623 00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,080 Look out! 624 00:44:46,710 --> 00:44:48,500 Christ! 625 00:44:56,510 --> 00:44:59,180 - Give me the car keys! - You're not driving that car. 626 00:44:59,300 --> 00:45:02,300 Give me the car keys! Ed, get Mum in the car. 627 00:45:02,390 --> 00:45:04,520 I'm on it. 628 00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,390 Don't worry about me. Worry about your mother. 629 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:11,610 - Maybe I should drive. - I've adjusted the seat now. 630 00:45:11,690 --> 00:45:13,400 Just be careful! 631 00:45:23,780 --> 00:45:26,500 Can you please turn that noise down? 632 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,210 Are you all right, dear? Would you like another tissue? 633 00:45:31,290 --> 00:45:34,590 I'd be fine if it weren't for that bloody racket. 634 00:45:34,630 --> 00:45:36,710 - It is a bit loud. - Sorry, Barbara. 635 00:45:39,300 --> 00:45:41,680 You do realise this is a 20 mile an hour zone? 636 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,300 Oh, yeah. 637 00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:48,600 - Here. - Mum, this won't take a second, all right? 638 00:45:51,900 --> 00:45:55,980 - Have you still got the child locks on? - Safety first, Shaun. 639 00:45:56,110 --> 00:45:57,990 You can't... 640 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,910 Hey, man, watch the leather. 641 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,080 Keep moving. If there's any problems... 642 00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,290 I'll do the honks. 643 00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:34,400 "Hello?" 644 00:46:36,190 --> 00:46:38,690 Hello? 645 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,720 - Guys, can you let me in? - What are you doing? 646 00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:04,390 I've come to get you. 647 00:47:15,980 --> 00:47:19,900 - What are you doing? - I've come to take you somewhere safe. 648 00:47:19,940 --> 00:47:22,070 - We were safe! - You don't know that. 649 00:47:22,110 --> 00:47:25,110 There was two of them out there. How many are there now? 650 00:47:25,110 --> 00:47:26,280 - Lots. - Lots! 651 00:47:26,410 --> 00:47:29,200 It only takes one of them to know you're in here. 652 00:47:29,290 --> 00:47:32,910 I tried calling but I couldn't get through. I had to come up with a plan. 653 00:47:32,910 --> 00:47:36,290 - Oh, you made a plan? - We have to get out of here. 654 00:47:36,330 --> 00:47:38,880 If we don't, they'll tear us to pieces. 655 00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,710 And that will exacerbate things for all of us. 656 00:47:41,710 --> 00:47:44,510 - Shaun... - This is not about you and me. 657 00:47:44,550 --> 00:47:46,470 This is about survival. 658 00:47:46,510 --> 00:47:50,310 We need to be somewhere more secure, somewhere we can stay alive. 659 00:47:50,390 --> 00:47:52,470 - We're with you, Shaun. - What? 660 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,190 - We're with you. - I'm not going out there. 661 00:47:55,310 --> 00:47:59,900 Daffs! I don't want to be torn to pieces and if you think about it, neither do you. 662 00:47:59,940 --> 00:48:02,490 - I'm not going if Lizzie's not going. - She's going. 663 00:48:02,610 --> 00:48:04,700 - I'm not staying by myself. - You're going, aren't you? 664 00:48:04,740 --> 00:48:06,700 - Lizzie? - Liz? 665 00:48:11,290 --> 00:48:14,710 - All right, Flash, what's your plan? - Great. I've got a car 666 00:48:14,750 --> 00:48:18,080 but it's gonna be a bit cramped now. Has anyone got transport? 667 00:48:18,130 --> 00:48:20,040 - Yes! - Great. Where? 668 00:48:20,090 --> 00:48:22,880 Oh, no. Well, I've passed my test. 669 00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:24,090 David? 670 00:48:24,220 --> 00:48:27,590 I don't see the point of owning a car in London. 671 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,390 Look, just get any blunt objects together. 672 00:48:30,430 --> 00:48:33,060 If you get cornered, bash them in the head. 673 00:48:33,100 --> 00:48:35,680 Keep together, stay sharp and follow me. 674 00:48:35,810 --> 00:48:38,100 So, what's the plan, then? 675 00:48:38,150 --> 00:48:40,400 We're going to the Winchester. 676 00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,110 OK? Let's go. 677 00:49:01,500 --> 00:49:03,590 - Come on. - Where's the car? 678 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,090 What's up, niggaz? 679 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:18,480 Apologies for the cramped conditions. Di, stay on David's lap. 680 00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:21,480 Philip, hang in there, OK? Ed, get there fast. 681 00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,690 And, Mum, this is Liz. Liz, Mum. 682 00:49:23,730 --> 00:49:25,610 Hello. 683 00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:33,660 Ed, be careful. 684 00:49:33,700 --> 00:49:35,950 - Is your dad all right? - He's not my dad. 685 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,210 - He's bleeding. - I know! Ed, be careful. 686 00:49:38,290 --> 00:49:40,880 Thought you wanted to get there fast? 687 00:49:41,290 --> 00:49:44,300 I want to get there in one piece! Why are we going this way? 688 00:49:44,380 --> 00:49:46,380 Chill out, it's a short cut. 689 00:49:46,380 --> 00:49:49,340 - That road goes to the Winchester. - Shaun... 690 00:49:49,380 --> 00:49:53,050 - Liz, please! - I don't understand why the Winchester? 691 00:49:53,100 --> 00:49:56,640 - It's a pub, it's safe, it's secure. - They know us. 692 00:49:56,680 --> 00:50:00,600 - What makes it so secure? - It's got big heavy doors and deadbolts. 693 00:50:00,690 --> 00:50:02,480 And there's a rifle above the bar. 694 00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:06,980 - I would think that's deactivated. - It's not. John's connected. Big Al says so. 695 00:50:07,110 --> 00:50:09,110 Big Al also says dogs can't look up. 696 00:50:09,110 --> 00:50:10,570 - They can't. - Can't they? 697 00:50:10,610 --> 00:50:12,660 - Of course they can! - Are you sure? 698 00:50:12,700 --> 00:50:16,080 Yes! The pub is the right place to go. Everything is gonna be fine. 699 00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,500 - Shaun... - I turned it off, all right? 700 00:50:18,540 --> 00:50:20,660 What? 701 00:50:20,710 --> 00:50:23,880 - Being a father, it's not easy. - What? 702 00:50:24,380 --> 00:50:28,590 You were 12 when I met you, you'd already grown up so much. 703 00:50:28,710 --> 00:50:34,390 I just wanted you to be strong and not give up because you lost your dad. 704 00:50:35,510 --> 00:50:40,810 - Philip, you don't have to explain. - No, I do. I always loved you, Shaun. 705 00:50:40,890 --> 00:50:45,480 And I always thought you had it in you to do well. 706 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:49,610 You just need... m-motivation. 707 00:50:49,690 --> 00:50:52,200 Somebody to look up to and... 708 00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:56,990 I thought it could be me. 709 00:50:58,490 --> 00:51:01,410 Would you just... take care of your mum? 710 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:06,880 There's a good boy. 711 00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,300 - Ed, can you pull over? - Two seconds. 712 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,390 - Ah! Ed, please pull over. - What for? 713 00:51:17,510 --> 00:51:20,310 - Just pull over! - All right. 714 00:51:25,690 --> 00:51:27,060 Whoa, momma! 715 00:51:27,110 --> 00:51:30,400 - What the hell are you doing? - Chill out. Everyone's all right. 716 00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:32,490 Stop telling me to chill out! 717 00:51:33,490 --> 00:51:36,910 - And everybody is not all right. - What's wrong? 718 00:51:36,990 --> 00:51:39,450 Mum, it's Philip, he's gone. 719 00:51:39,490 --> 00:51:42,000 - Where's he gone? - Mum, he's dead. 720 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,210 No, he isn't. 721 00:51:45,290 --> 00:51:47,210 Get out! 722 00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:50,710 Jesus! 723 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,880 - Get it open! - Ed, get the child locks! 724 00:51:54,010 --> 00:51:56,010 Quick! 725 00:51:58,300 --> 00:52:00,180 - The child lock! - Ed! 726 00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,240 - Now what? - We keep moving. 727 00:52:21,290 --> 00:52:25,000 - How do we get Philip out the car? - We haven't got time. 728 00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,710 - We can't leave your dad. - He's not my dad! 729 00:52:27,750 --> 00:52:29,670 Mum, he was, but he's not any more. 730 00:52:29,710 --> 00:52:33,960 - I really think we could... - That's not your husband in there. OK? 731 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:38,180 It looks like him but there is nothing of the man you loved in that car. 732 00:52:40,510 --> 00:52:42,470 Let's go, shall we? 733 00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:44,810 You're not suggesting we walk? 734 00:52:47,900 --> 00:52:50,400 - Everybody OK? - Yeah, we're having a whale of a time. 735 00:52:50,820 --> 00:52:53,780 Maybe we should all hold hands, make a crocodile? 736 00:52:53,900 --> 00:52:56,110 Do you know where we're going? 737 00:52:56,110 --> 00:52:58,280 - David, come on. - Sorry. 738 00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:00,570 - Do you, though? - Yeah, totally. 739 00:53:00,700 --> 00:53:02,200 Are we close? 740 00:53:07,710 --> 00:53:10,040 We're pretty close. 741 00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,880 - Is your mum gonna be OK? - Yeah, I hope so. 742 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,840 - Did you contact your folks? - They're in Antigua. 743 00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,800 - Do you think this is happening there? - I hope not. 744 00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,680 About last night. I know loads of things were said but... 745 00:53:21,720 --> 00:53:24,390 - You said this wasn't about us. - No, it's not. 746 00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,270 - You said it was about survival. - It is, but... 747 00:53:27,310 --> 00:53:32,480 You're notjust trying to prove something? I meant everything I said last night. 748 00:53:34,690 --> 00:53:37,900 - Maybe this isn't the best time to talk. - OK. 749 00:53:38,900 --> 00:53:40,410 Shaun. 750 00:53:40,450 --> 00:53:41,910 Yvonne. 751 00:53:41,990 --> 00:53:44,700 - How's it going? - Er, surviving. 752 00:53:44,740 --> 00:53:47,200 Hey, Liz. Long time no see. 753 00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:48,870 Hey, Yvonne. 754 00:53:48,910 --> 00:53:51,710 Erm... this is my boyfriend, Declan. 755 00:53:51,750 --> 00:53:53,670 Erm... my friends Mark, Maggie, 756 00:53:53,710 --> 00:53:56,630 - my mum and my cousin Tom. - All right. 757 00:53:56,670 --> 00:53:59,550 This is Shaun and his girlfriend Liz. 758 00:53:59,590 --> 00:54:02,510 - They've split up, actually. - Oh, really? 759 00:54:02,510 --> 00:54:04,600 - Yeah. - That's a shame. 760 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:07,850 We should scoot. Have you got somewhere you're going? 761 00:54:07,890 --> 00:54:10,980 - Yeah, we're going to the Winchester. - The pub? 762 00:54:12,810 --> 00:54:15,480 - Yeah. - Right, well. Good luck! 763 00:54:21,110 --> 00:54:22,700 Hi. 764 00:54:22,740 --> 00:54:24,280 Hello. 765 00:54:24,410 --> 00:54:25,410 Hi. 766 00:54:25,490 --> 00:54:27,200 Hello. 767 00:54:27,290 --> 00:54:28,790 All right. 768 00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:33,880 See? The Winchester's just over there. 769 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,210 - Over where? - Over there. 770 00:54:36,300 --> 00:54:38,710 Just over there, over the 20 garden fences? 771 00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:40,510 What's the matter, David? 772 00:54:41,010 --> 00:54:43,090 Never taken a short cut before? 773 00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:00,860 Shaun. 774 00:55:00,900 --> 00:55:03,610 I'm sure Jill and Derek live round here. 775 00:55:17,090 --> 00:55:20,630 Now, the Winchester is just over that fence, all right? 776 00:55:20,670 --> 00:55:24,180 Everyone stay where they are, I'll... Are we all here? 777 00:55:24,300 --> 00:55:27,810 - One, two, three, four, five. Yes. - There's six of us. 778 00:55:27,890 --> 00:55:30,100 Mum! 779 00:55:32,690 --> 00:55:34,600 I'm coming! 780 00:55:34,690 --> 00:55:37,270 Mum, are you OK? Are you OK? 781 00:55:37,310 --> 00:55:40,110 I don't think Jill and Derek do live here. 782 00:55:43,700 --> 00:55:46,200 Shaun? 783 00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:49,290 Are you all right? 784 00:56:05,890 --> 00:56:08,600 What are you doing? 785 00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,600 Shaun! 786 00:56:15,390 --> 00:56:17,190 Yes! 787 00:56:18,690 --> 00:56:20,900 No, that's rubbish. 788 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,200 - Ooh! - Yes! 789 00:56:31,910 --> 00:56:34,080 Feel free to step in any time. 790 00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:37,080 - You did all right. - I didn't want to cramp your style. 791 00:56:37,210 --> 00:56:39,210 I'm so sorry about that. 792 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,010 Right. 793 00:56:44,300 --> 00:56:48,890 OK, everyone stay where they are. I'm gonna check if the coast is clear. 794 00:56:57,310 --> 00:56:59,310 - Is it clear? - No. 795 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:01,400 - How many? - Lots. 796 00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:14,080 Oh, well, that is just great. 797 00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:16,250 There are a fair few of them, yes. 798 00:57:16,290 --> 00:57:19,580 I trust Shaun has another genius scheme up his sleeve? 799 00:57:19,630 --> 00:57:21,710 This is hardly constructive, David! 800 00:57:21,790 --> 00:57:25,510 - We should have stayed at the flat. - Why didn't you? 801 00:57:25,550 --> 00:57:29,260 Because... Because, because of... Captain Wow. 802 00:57:29,300 --> 00:57:33,010 - Will you stop it? - We'll get nowhere moaning. 803 00:57:40,690 --> 00:57:43,190 Right, let's all shake out. Get nice and limber. 804 00:57:43,230 --> 00:57:45,610 Or not. 805 00:57:46,490 --> 00:57:50,070 Take another look at the way he moves. Remember, very limp. 806 00:57:50,110 --> 00:57:55,410 Almost like sleepwalking. Look at the face, it's vacant with a hint of sadness. 807 00:57:55,490 --> 00:57:57,580 Like a drunk who's lost a bet. 808 00:57:57,620 --> 00:57:59,710 OK, let's try, shall we? Liz. 809 00:58:03,290 --> 00:58:07,380 Nice. Good vocal work. OK. Barbara, that's excellent. 810 00:58:07,420 --> 00:58:09,800 Sorry, dear, I was miles away. 811 00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:12,140 - D-Daffs. - Uh. 812 00:58:12,180 --> 00:58:14,390 - Come on! - Urgh. 813 00:58:14,510 --> 00:58:17,810 It's mournful, sorrowful, you're dead and you hate it. Go. 814 00:58:17,850 --> 00:58:19,480 Uuurgh. 815 00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,400 - Much better. Ed. - I'll do it on the night. 816 00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,610 This is the night! 817 00:58:24,690 --> 00:58:26,980 - What is that? - What about yours? 818 00:58:27,110 --> 00:58:29,900 Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies? 819 00:58:29,990 --> 00:58:31,610 Don't... 820 00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,080 Yeah, that's pretty good. 821 00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:41,790 Right, let's all try together, shall we? One, two, three. 822 00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:35,680 Go, go, go, go. 823 00:59:37,890 --> 00:59:40,270 Shit! Get round me, get round me! 824 00:59:40,310 --> 00:59:44,600 John? John, Bernie, are you there? It's Shaun and Ed. We come in all the time. 825 00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,690 - They can hear you. - We do the quiz. 826 00:59:47,730 --> 00:59:49,150 - They know. - Stay in character! 827 00:59:49,190 --> 00:59:52,280 - I can't see them. - Shaun, we have to get inside. 828 00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:54,860 - Break the window. - We'll be exposed! 829 00:59:54,910 --> 00:59:57,580 - Break the window! - Is there another way in? 830 00:59:57,700 --> 00:59:59,580 Yeah, there's... 831 01:00:00,580 --> 01:00:02,960 Two seconds. Hey, Noodle. 832 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,750 - "All right?" - Yeah, man, I can't talk now. 833 01:00:05,790 --> 01:00:08,460 - "You get anything yet?" - I got nothing. 834 01:00:08,500 --> 01:00:11,300 I'm in the middle of something. Yeah, it's weird. 835 01:00:11,380 --> 01:00:15,090 - Oi! What are you doing? - What are you doing? You stupid moron. 836 01:00:15,130 --> 01:00:17,600 - Fuck off. - You fuck off! 837 01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:21,020 Fuck fucking off! I've spent an entire life... 838 01:00:21,100 --> 01:00:24,190 Look at me. I've spent my entire life sticking up for you 839 01:00:24,310 --> 01:00:27,400 and all you ever do is fuck things up and make me look stupid. 840 01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:30,400 I'm not gonna let you do it any more. Not today! 841 01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:32,400 Shaun. 842 01:00:32,490 --> 01:00:33,690 Oh. 843 01:00:40,780 --> 01:00:43,500 You were saying about another way in? 844 01:00:43,540 --> 01:00:45,830 Yeah, there's a... 845 01:00:45,830 --> 01:00:48,080 What are you doing? 846 01:00:49,290 --> 01:00:52,380 - No! - Get inside. 847 01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:56,010 No, they'll follow us. Keep up the act, I'll have to do something. 848 01:00:56,090 --> 01:00:59,890 - What do you mean do something? - Hello, hello, over here! 849 01:01:00,010 --> 01:01:03,970 Come on, that's it. Come on, that's it, over here! 850 01:01:04,020 --> 01:01:06,890 Over here! Come on. Oh, bollocks. 851 01:01:06,980 --> 01:01:09,860 - Wait till I've gone then get inside. - Gone where? 852 01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:15,490 I won't be long, I promise. Come on, you pasty-faced fuckers, let's go! Follow me. 853 01:01:15,530 --> 01:01:18,780 Come on, this way, that's it! 854 01:01:18,910 --> 01:01:22,700 Come on. This way, follow me. Come on, follow me. 855 01:01:22,740 --> 01:01:26,080 Come and get it. It's a running buffet. 856 01:01:26,210 --> 01:01:28,250 All you can eat! 857 01:01:28,290 --> 01:01:30,290 Shall we go in, then? 858 01:01:38,180 --> 01:01:41,600 - Come on, Barbara. Leave those. - I think they're for me. 859 01:02:00,700 --> 01:02:03,280 - He's been gone a good 20 minutes. - 17. 860 01:02:03,490 --> 01:02:08,710 Either way, we need to think about blocking up this window. We're totally exposed. 861 01:02:08,790 --> 01:02:12,210 - How will Shaun get back in? - I'm sure he'll knock. 862 01:02:13,790 --> 01:02:16,710 - Let's get some lights on. - David, wait! 863 01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:20,380 - Power's off. - That's a good thing. 864 01:02:20,510 --> 01:02:23,800 - We mustn't advertise our whereabouts. - No, of course not. 865 01:02:23,850 --> 01:02:27,680 - Do we, David? - No, of course not, Lizzie. 866 01:02:27,730 --> 01:02:29,600 I'm just being proactive. 867 01:02:29,690 --> 01:02:33,900 There's no lights, no power. And there's a hole in the window. 868 01:02:33,940 --> 01:02:37,440 - You did that, you twat. - Somebody had to do something! 869 01:02:37,490 --> 01:02:41,280 We were in a spot of bother. Somebody has to take control of the situation 870 01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:45,410 and if none of you are prepared to accept that responsibility 871 01:02:45,490 --> 01:02:48,500 then perhaps... I should. 872 01:02:48,580 --> 01:02:51,670 - Will Shaun be gone long? - He'll be back soon. 873 01:02:51,670 --> 01:02:54,670 - How do you know? - I don't think he'd leave us. 874 01:02:54,710 --> 01:03:00,670 Wouldn't he? How can you trust a man you binned for being unreliable? 875 01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:05,180 A man whose idea of a romantic nightspot is also an impenetrable fortress. 876 01:03:05,300 --> 01:03:08,180 This is a pub! We are in a pub! What are we going to do? 877 01:03:08,310 --> 01:03:10,810 I could get a round in. 878 01:03:10,890 --> 01:03:14,480 Let's just wait for Shaun. We'll barricade the window when he gets back. 879 01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,110 What then? How long? Days? Weeks? A month? 880 01:03:17,150 --> 01:03:19,650 - What are we going to eat? - Toasties! 881 01:03:19,690 --> 01:03:23,200 - There's a Breville out back. - Great. Saved by nibbles. 882 01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:25,410 Must be why Shaun took us here before he left. 883 01:03:25,490 --> 01:03:29,450 - He's coming back! - Why? Because he promised? 884 01:03:29,500 --> 01:03:34,380 If he does, do you think his master plan will be anything more than eating peanuts? 885 01:03:34,420 --> 01:03:38,170 Is he just gonna stroll in and suddenly everything's OK? 886 01:03:38,210 --> 01:03:41,840 I don't know, David! I don't know any more than you do. 887 01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:46,300 But what I do know is that we're here now and we have to make the best of it. 888 01:03:48,010 --> 01:03:50,810 - Ed, get me a double vodka. - Right you are. 889 01:03:50,890 --> 01:03:53,810 I'll have a drink too. Would you like a drink, Barbara? 890 01:03:53,890 --> 01:03:55,980 - Hello. - Right, great, fuck it. 891 01:03:56,110 --> 01:03:59,570 We'll have a party and get completely smashed. 892 01:03:59,610 --> 01:04:03,200 We've got our nibbles. We've got our Mini Cheddars. 893 01:04:03,280 --> 01:04:06,700 - David! - We got Twiglets. Oh, look, hog lumps. 894 01:04:11,910 --> 01:04:13,370 Pickle! 895 01:04:13,410 --> 01:04:15,250 Hello, Mum. You all right? 896 01:04:15,290 --> 01:04:17,080 - Everybody OK? - Yeah. 897 01:04:17,210 --> 01:04:19,300 - Any sign of John and Bernie? - No. 898 01:04:19,380 --> 01:04:21,510 - Check upstairs? - It's locked. 899 01:04:21,590 --> 01:04:24,010 - Phones? - Dead. Same as the power. 900 01:04:24,090 --> 01:04:27,890 - OK... - Nice of you to join us. 901 01:04:28,010 --> 01:04:30,510 Yeah, well, I promised, didn't I? 902 01:04:35,980 --> 01:04:38,810 How did you lose them? 903 01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:43,780 I just gave them the slip. Wasn't difficult. They're not all that. 904 01:04:43,900 --> 01:04:46,490 - Well, how did you get in? - The back door. 905 01:04:46,610 --> 01:04:48,950 I tried to tell you before you smashed the window. 906 01:04:48,990 --> 01:04:52,200 But it wasn't me blowing our cover by arguing with my boyfriend. 907 01:04:52,290 --> 01:04:55,920 - He's not my boyfriend. - Might be a bit warm, the cooler's off. 908 01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:58,000 Thanks, babe. 909 01:04:59,500 --> 01:05:01,380 So, what's the plan, then? 910 01:05:03,300 --> 01:05:05,880 Would anyone like a peanut? 911 01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:17,560 Why don't you do your Clyde? 912 01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:20,480 Has anyone seen Every Which Way But Loose? 913 01:05:20,610 --> 01:05:23,400 Ed does the most amazing impression of the orang-utan. 914 01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:26,150 - No, it's not. - It is. Come on. Do it. 915 01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:28,780 - No, no. - But it's brilliant. Come on. 916 01:05:28,910 --> 01:05:31,780 - You've built it up too much. - No, just do it. 917 01:05:31,830 --> 01:05:34,700 Everyone wants to see it. We could do with a laugh. 918 01:05:34,790 --> 01:05:37,210 Do it, do it, do it, do it. Come on, do it. 919 01:05:37,290 --> 01:05:39,290 I'm not a performing monkey. 920 01:05:41,710 --> 01:05:44,880 - The power's on. - It's not, I tried it earlier. 921 01:05:45,010 --> 01:05:48,800 The streetlights are on. I'll flip the fuses, we can watch television. 922 01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:52,510 - What about the lights? - Yes. Don't advertise our whereabouts. 923 01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:56,180 The lights are on a separate circuit. Just flip the mains breakers. 924 01:05:56,310 --> 01:05:58,480 It's quite simple, David. 925 01:06:25,300 --> 01:06:27,880 - Is that it? - That's it. 926 01:06:52,990 --> 01:06:56,410 Liz, erm... have you got a quid? 927 01:06:57,410 --> 01:06:59,210 Erm... 928 01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:02,710 Yeah. 929 01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,220 Never anything on, is there? 930 01:07:13,590 --> 01:07:15,300 What? 931 01:07:17,310 --> 01:07:21,190 - I think we might have a bit of a problem. - What do you mean? 932 01:07:24,980 --> 01:07:28,690 - They followed me. - I thought you said you gave them the slip. 933 01:07:28,730 --> 01:07:30,990 Yeah. 934 01:07:31,110 --> 01:07:35,490 Well, we'll just have to be extra quiet then, won't we? 935 01:07:36,910 --> 01:07:38,790 What? 936 01:07:40,580 --> 01:07:42,920 Ed, no! 937 01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:45,000 Turn it off! 938 01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:17,070 Shit! 939 01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:19,700 - Where the hell did he come from? - I dunno. 940 01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:26,380 - Who put this on? - It's on random. 941 01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:29,590 Dianne, get Mum somewhere safe. David, kill the Queen. 942 01:08:29,630 --> 01:08:31,300 - What?! - The jukebox! 943 01:08:31,380 --> 01:08:34,010 - Liz, Ed, grab a weapon. - What about the rifle? 944 01:08:34,050 --> 01:08:36,010 - Cocktails? - What do you mean? 945 01:08:36,090 --> 01:08:39,390 The flaming spirits Get a rag in, light it. 946 01:08:39,510 --> 01:08:42,390 - But the whole place could go up. - What, then? 947 01:08:42,480 --> 01:08:44,310 How about pool? 948 01:08:49,610 --> 01:08:52,690 John, it's time at the bar. 949 01:09:11,300 --> 01:09:14,090 - I can't find the switches! - Then get the fuses! 950 01:09:44,290 --> 01:09:48,210 Why is Queen still on? 951 01:09:48,290 --> 01:09:50,710 - We have a situation! - I know! 952 01:09:51,790 --> 01:09:53,880 - Fuck this. Two seconds. - Ed! 953 01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:55,510 Oi! 954 01:10:03,310 --> 01:10:05,020 Shaun! 955 01:10:07,180 --> 01:10:08,690 No! 956 01:10:10,480 --> 01:10:12,690 Yes! Yes! In the head! 957 01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:17,190 Ooow! 958 01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:18,780 Shauny! 959 01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:36,300 Why didn't you just shoot him, man? 960 01:10:37,720 --> 01:10:39,800 Ed, for the last time, it's... 961 01:10:43,300 --> 01:10:47,390 I fucking knew it! What did I tell you? Big Al was right. 962 01:10:47,430 --> 01:10:49,190 OK. 963 01:10:52,690 --> 01:10:54,690 But dogs can look up. 964 01:10:57,280 --> 01:10:59,780 - Has anyone fired a gun before? - Oh, yeah. 965 01:11:00,280 --> 01:11:02,070 - Apart from Ed? - I'm a pacifist. 966 01:11:02,110 --> 01:11:04,780 - Apart from David and Ed? - What was Ed's experience? 967 01:11:04,910 --> 01:11:08,040 - He shot his sister in the leg. - I think you should do it. 968 01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:11,210 - We should all do it. - How can five people operate one gun? 969 01:11:11,290 --> 01:11:14,080 - No one has any experience. We've got... - 29. 970 01:11:14,130 --> 01:11:16,050 - 29 bullets. - Call them shells. 971 01:11:16,090 --> 01:11:19,090 29 shells. I need someone to help me reload, 972 01:11:19,220 --> 01:11:21,590 everyone else to look out. I will fire. 973 01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:26,510 As Bertrand Russell said the only thing that will redeem mankind is co-operation. 974 01:11:26,510 --> 01:11:28,600 I think we can all appreciate that now. 975 01:11:28,680 --> 01:11:32,190 - Was that on a beer mat? - Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold. 976 01:11:32,230 --> 01:11:33,980 - I won't say anything. - Thanks. 977 01:11:35,610 --> 01:11:38,900 - They want to come in. - Get Mum out of the way. 978 01:11:38,940 --> 01:11:42,200 David, Dianne, let's go. Ed, give me some shells. 979 01:11:44,410 --> 01:11:46,580 - Barbara. - Oh, hello. 980 01:11:46,700 --> 01:11:49,700 - Would you like to come with me? - That'd be lovely. 981 01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:56,090 It's nice to meet you, finally. Shaun's always talking about you. 982 01:11:56,130 --> 01:11:58,090 - Really? - Yeah. 983 01:11:58,210 --> 01:12:00,090 - Ah! - Barbara? 984 01:12:01,510 --> 01:12:03,880 Are you all right? 985 01:12:04,010 --> 01:12:05,800 I've got something for you. 986 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:10,390 Shaun's father gave me this. Shaun's real father, I mean. 987 01:12:10,470 --> 01:12:13,890 - I'd like you to have it. - Barbara, Shaun and I have... 988 01:12:13,980 --> 01:12:16,900 It seems only right. 989 01:12:30,580 --> 01:12:32,500 I didn't want to say anything. 990 01:12:32,580 --> 01:12:34,710 I thought Shaun would be worried. 991 01:12:36,380 --> 01:12:38,040 Liz! 992 01:12:38,090 --> 01:12:39,880 Here they come! 993 01:12:41,090 --> 01:12:43,300 - Stay behind me! - There's one! 994 01:12:43,380 --> 01:12:45,680 Sorry, we're closed! 995 01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:48,010 - The safety! - That happened to me on stage. 996 01:12:48,100 --> 01:12:50,100 Cock it! 997 01:12:56,980 --> 01:12:58,810 - There! - Where? 998 01:12:58,810 --> 01:13:00,610 Three o'clock! 999 01:13:05,700 --> 01:13:09,200 - Oh! Over there again. Quarter to twelve. - What? 1000 01:13:09,280 --> 01:13:11,290 - 11:45! - Keep it simple! 1001 01:13:12,500 --> 01:13:14,210 Top left! 1002 01:13:16,290 --> 01:13:18,380 - Reload. - I'm on it! 1003 01:13:18,500 --> 01:13:20,500 Come on, come on. 1004 01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:25,510 Nice shot. 1005 01:13:25,590 --> 01:13:28,090 OK, David, Dianne, let's block up this window! 1006 01:13:28,180 --> 01:13:30,300 Ed, take over a sec. 1007 01:13:30,390 --> 01:13:32,890 - What is it? What's wrong? - Shaun, I'm so sorry. 1008 01:13:32,930 --> 01:13:37,600 - Mum, what's wrong? - I didn't want to be a bother. 1009 01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:43,650 - Mum, I don't understand. - The man in his pyjamas. 1010 01:13:43,690 --> 01:13:46,900 I didn't want to say anything, I thought you'd be upset. 1011 01:13:46,950 --> 01:13:49,870 No, you should've said. 1012 01:13:49,910 --> 01:13:52,910 - Take over a sec. - What's going on? 1013 01:13:52,990 --> 01:13:55,750 - What's up? - What the hell's going on? 1014 01:13:55,790 --> 01:13:58,500 - Barbara's hurt! - Just take over a minute. 1015 01:13:58,580 --> 01:14:00,380 Jesus. 1016 01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:02,960 I know first aid. 1017 01:14:02,960 --> 01:14:05,380 Just hang on. Mum! 1018 01:14:05,420 --> 01:14:07,800 - Mum. - Is she...? 1019 01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:10,090 Just hold on, Mum, you're gonna be fine. 1020 01:14:10,140 --> 01:14:13,180 - I never thanked you. - For what? 1021 01:14:14,520 --> 01:14:18,190 For these."To a wonderful mum." 1022 01:14:20,100 --> 01:14:22,820 It's been a funny sort of day, hasn't it? 1023 01:14:23,820 --> 01:14:26,240 Oh, no, no! Mum, come on. 1024 01:14:26,280 --> 01:14:28,700 Stop it, stop it, stop it. 1025 01:14:28,780 --> 01:14:31,120 Mum. Please don't go. 1026 01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:45,000 - What are you doing? - We have to deal with her. 1027 01:14:45,090 --> 01:14:47,550 - Daffs! - For Christ's sake! 1028 01:14:47,590 --> 01:14:49,880 - She's gonna come back! - She's not going anywhere. 1029 01:14:49,930 --> 01:14:52,180 - She'll change. - She's my mum! 1030 01:14:52,300 --> 01:14:54,890 - She's a zombie. - Don't say that. 1031 01:14:55,890 --> 01:14:58,180 Move aside. I'm gonna count to three. 1032 01:14:58,310 --> 01:15:00,190 One... 1033 01:15:00,310 --> 01:15:01,600 two... 1034 01:15:01,650 --> 01:15:02,900 three! 1035 01:15:02,980 --> 01:15:05,690 - Don't point that gun at my mum! - Calm down. 1036 01:15:05,730 --> 01:15:08,110 Don't point that gun at Barbara! 1037 01:15:08,190 --> 01:15:10,490 - Ed, don't exacerbate things! - What's that mean? 1038 01:15:10,610 --> 01:15:12,910 - This isn't exactly fair. - Here. 1039 01:15:12,950 --> 01:15:14,700 - Thank you. - It's OK. 1040 01:15:15,910 --> 01:15:18,700 Please, can we just stop and think about this? 1041 01:15:18,750 --> 01:15:20,500 Tell him to put the gun down! 1042 01:15:20,580 --> 01:15:22,710 She's gonna change. You know I'm right. 1043 01:15:22,790 --> 01:15:27,880 And when she does, she'll kill all of us. That's what your ex can't seem to realise. 1044 01:15:27,920 --> 01:15:30,720 That's what this is about, isn't it? He doesn't like me! 1045 01:15:30,760 --> 01:15:33,510 He's always hated me and now he wants to shoot my mum. 1046 01:15:33,590 --> 01:15:37,180 - She's not... - You've never thought I was good enough. 1047 01:15:37,220 --> 01:15:40,310 - What? - We all know you're in love with Liz. 1048 01:15:40,390 --> 01:15:42,690 - That is not true. - Yes it is! 1049 01:15:42,810 --> 01:15:44,690 - That is not true. - Yes it is. 1050 01:15:44,810 --> 01:15:47,360 - What? - I know you only hung out with me 1051 01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:52,200 to get close to Liz and when she knocked you back, I was there to pick up the pieces. 1052 01:15:52,280 --> 01:15:55,700 I've come to terms with that, Daffs, why can't you? 1053 01:15:55,740 --> 01:15:59,080 Lizzie, I want you to know that my feelings for you... 1054 01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:03,170 David! There are slightly more pressing matters at hand here. 1055 01:16:03,210 --> 01:16:07,210 - Like "Daffs" pointing a gun at my mum. - I'm not being unreasonable, "Pickle". 1056 01:16:07,290 --> 01:16:10,210 - Christ, she's not dead! - She's finished. 1057 01:16:10,300 --> 01:16:12,260 For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite. 1058 01:16:12,300 --> 01:16:15,010 You've gone from a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston. 1059 01:16:15,010 --> 01:16:16,970 I'm not a chartered accountant. 1060 01:16:17,010 --> 01:16:18,890 - Well, you look like one. - Yeah. 1061 01:16:19,010 --> 01:16:21,850 - I'm a lecturer. - You're a twat. 1062 01:16:21,890 --> 01:16:25,480 She's not your mum. In a minute she'll be just another zombie. 1063 01:16:25,520 --> 01:16:28,610 - Don't say that. - We're not using the Z word. 1064 01:16:28,690 --> 01:16:32,400 Please can we just calm the fuck down! 1065 01:16:33,990 --> 01:16:37,410 Now, I can see what David is trying to say... 1066 01:16:37,490 --> 01:16:39,700 - Thank you. - Even if he is being a twat. 1067 01:16:39,740 --> 01:16:41,450 Yep. 1068 01:16:41,500 --> 01:16:44,290 And, Shaun... Shaun, look at me. 1069 01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:50,380 I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be for you 1070 01:16:50,500 --> 01:16:52,880 but we can't afford to fall apart. 1071 01:16:54,010 --> 01:16:56,680 Shaun, babe... 1072 01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:59,600 I know you don't wanna hear this... 1073 01:17:17,280 --> 01:17:19,200 You do it. 1074 01:17:28,790 --> 01:17:30,790 I'm sorry, Mum. 1075 01:17:32,090 --> 01:17:34,380 Do it! 1076 01:17:48,810 --> 01:17:53,110 Well... I think we're all agreed, you did the right thing there. 1077 01:17:58,610 --> 01:18:00,780 David, no! 1078 01:18:01,700 --> 01:18:02,990 David! 1079 01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:05,580 - Right, I'm leaving. - What? 1080 01:18:05,580 --> 01:18:08,000 - I'm not staying here. - David, it's suicide. 1081 01:18:09,710 --> 01:18:13,000 - I think you should go. - We will. We can defend ourselves. 1082 01:18:13,090 --> 01:18:15,460 - What do you mean "we"? - What do you mean? 1083 01:18:15,510 --> 01:18:19,180 Opening that door now would be a very silly thing to do. 1084 01:18:19,300 --> 01:18:21,550 - You gonna stay here with him? - Look... 1085 01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:23,810 - After where he led us? - Let me finish! 1086 01:18:23,890 --> 01:18:27,810 Shaun didn't ask you to come here. You came for the same reason I did. 1087 01:18:27,890 --> 01:18:30,480 - Get away from that door this instant! - But... 1088 01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:32,400 David! 1089 01:18:39,610 --> 01:18:41,620 I'm so sorry, Dianne. 1090 01:18:41,700 --> 01:18:45,580 Maybe I'm not the one you should be apologising to. 1091 01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:49,920 Shaun... 1092 01:18:54,800 --> 01:18:56,840 David! No! 1093 01:18:56,880 --> 01:18:58,880 No! No! No! 1094 01:19:00,680 --> 01:19:02,510 David! 1095 01:19:03,100 --> 01:19:05,180 - No! No! - David! 1096 01:19:25,200 --> 01:19:27,290 David! 1097 01:19:27,910 --> 01:19:29,580 Dianne, no! 1098 01:19:29,580 --> 01:19:31,210 I'm coming, David! 1099 01:19:34,290 --> 01:19:36,380 David! 1100 01:19:36,420 --> 01:19:38,510 Oh dear. 1101 01:19:38,590 --> 01:19:40,670 - Cocktails? - Do it. 1102 01:19:51,190 --> 01:19:52,810 Stay back! 1103 01:19:57,780 --> 01:19:59,610 Shaun, hold them! 1104 01:20:02,610 --> 01:20:04,410 Heads! 1105 01:20:08,080 --> 01:20:09,910 - Ed! - Hurry up! 1106 01:20:11,710 --> 01:20:14,000 Shauny, look who it is. 1107 01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:16,500 Fuck-a-doodle-doo! 1108 01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:19,550 Ed! 1109 01:20:19,590 --> 01:20:21,470 - Shaun! - Ed! 1110 01:20:21,510 --> 01:20:23,380 Don't groan at me, you thick fuck! 1111 01:20:23,510 --> 01:20:25,180 I can't hold them! 1112 01:20:28,680 --> 01:20:30,100 No! 1113 01:20:33,980 --> 01:20:35,690 - Shaun! - Pete! 1114 01:20:37,820 --> 01:20:39,610 I said leave him alone! 1115 01:20:42,700 --> 01:20:45,490 Ed. Ed! 1116 01:20:45,610 --> 01:20:48,490 Shaun, bar! 1117 01:20:59,210 --> 01:21:01,010 Ed! 1118 01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:03,590 Ed! 1119 01:21:04,180 --> 01:21:06,390 Ed! 1120 01:21:06,430 --> 01:21:08,600 What? 1121 01:21:08,680 --> 01:21:10,810 Chuck us a cloth, will you? 1122 01:21:23,490 --> 01:21:25,910 - Where are the shells? - They're on the bar. 1123 01:21:25,950 --> 01:21:28,410 Oh, fuck. 1124 01:21:28,910 --> 01:21:30,580 Ow! 1125 01:21:30,580 --> 01:21:32,160 Fuck it! 1126 01:21:32,200 --> 01:21:35,000 What are we gonna do? Where are we gonna go? 1127 01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:37,370 - The cellar. - Maybe we can get out! 1128 01:21:37,500 --> 01:21:42,300 - There's a hatch out on to the street. - You mean go back outside? 1129 01:21:42,340 --> 01:21:45,010 Oh, give us a fucking break! 1130 01:21:50,680 --> 01:21:52,890 Go! 1131 01:22:02,110 --> 01:22:04,190 I can see the street. 1132 01:22:05,190 --> 01:22:06,490 Come on. 1133 01:22:07,910 --> 01:22:09,910 Come on! 1134 01:22:10,700 --> 01:22:13,290 Why won't it open? 1135 01:22:22,880 --> 01:22:26,880 That's it then, we're trapped. "Hey, let's go to the Winchester!" 1136 01:22:27,010 --> 01:22:28,800 Whose fucking idea was that? 1137 01:22:28,880 --> 01:22:31,600 Man, I've really ballsed this up. 1138 01:22:34,890 --> 01:22:38,390 - No, you haven't. - I have, Liz. I couldn't save us. 1139 01:22:38,480 --> 01:22:43,070 I couldn't save Di or David. I couldn't even save Mum. I'm useless. 1140 01:22:43,110 --> 01:22:48,490 You shouldn't feel so responsible, you tried. You did something, that's what counts. 1141 01:22:50,490 --> 01:22:52,410 Yeah, I suppose. 1142 01:22:54,910 --> 01:22:57,500 Do you think they'll get through? 1143 01:22:57,540 --> 01:22:59,290 Yeah. 1144 01:23:00,710 --> 01:23:02,790 How many shells have we got left? 1145 01:23:02,880 --> 01:23:05,880 Erm... two. 1146 01:23:06,010 --> 01:23:10,890 I suppose we could take a few of them out if they stand in a line. 1147 01:23:10,930 --> 01:23:13,100 I wasn't thinking about them. 1148 01:23:13,140 --> 01:23:14,810 I know. 1149 01:23:19,600 --> 01:23:23,980 - What about Ed? There's only two shells. - I don't mind being eaten. 1150 01:23:27,690 --> 01:23:30,110 How are we gonna do this? 1151 01:23:30,110 --> 01:23:32,660 I don't know. Erm... 1152 01:23:32,700 --> 01:23:34,700 One of us has to go first. 1153 01:23:34,780 --> 01:23:37,790 One should do the other and then do themselves. 1154 01:23:37,910 --> 01:23:40,790 You should do me. I'll muck it up if I have to do myself. 1155 01:23:49,510 --> 01:23:52,800 I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, 1156 01:23:52,840 --> 01:23:56,100 my mum and my girlfriend all in the same evening. 1157 01:23:57,390 --> 01:23:59,480 What makes you think I've taken you back? 1158 01:23:59,600 --> 01:24:01,390 Well... 1159 01:24:02,390 --> 01:24:05,400 you don't want to die single, do you? 1160 01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:08,400 Actually... I would like to be shot. 1161 01:24:09,400 --> 01:24:13,610 Besides, I've changed. I haven't had a fag since yesterday, I promise. 1162 01:24:13,700 --> 01:24:15,700 He hasn't. 1163 01:24:17,280 --> 01:24:19,580 Maybe we should have one now. 1164 01:24:22,710 --> 01:24:25,580 - You left them in my flat. - Yeah, in the bin. 1165 01:24:25,710 --> 01:24:28,590 - I was desperate. - Sneaky monkey. 1166 01:24:28,710 --> 01:24:31,800 - Sorry. - I won't say anything. 1167 01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:45,900 Come on, we're getting out of here. 1168 01:24:46,900 --> 01:24:49,780 - I mightjust stay here. - But we can get out. 1169 01:24:49,780 --> 01:24:53,200 - You two should make a go of it. - What are you talking about? 1170 01:24:53,280 --> 01:24:56,490 - I only hold you back. - Yeah, but... 1171 01:25:02,080 --> 01:25:04,080 Maybe you should have this. 1172 01:25:05,290 --> 01:25:07,000 - Don't you want it? - No. 1173 01:25:07,080 --> 01:25:09,880 I can't hit anything with it anyway, I'm rubbish. 1174 01:25:13,220 --> 01:25:16,510 - Ed, I'm sorry. - What for? 1175 01:25:16,590 --> 01:25:21,180 - Cos I was shouting at you earlier on. - It's all right. 1176 01:25:21,310 --> 01:25:23,480 I'm sorry too. 1177 01:25:23,520 --> 01:25:25,480 It's OK. 1178 01:25:25,600 --> 01:25:27,190 No... 1179 01:25:27,310 --> 01:25:29,320 I'm sorry, Shaun. 1180 01:25:31,980 --> 01:25:35,110 Oh, God! That's not funny. 1181 01:25:35,200 --> 01:25:39,910 - I'll stop doing 'em when you stop laughing. - I'm not laughing. 1182 01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:53,710 You'd better be off. 1183 01:26:03,100 --> 01:26:05,310 Bye, Ed. Love you. 1184 01:26:06,100 --> 01:26:07,690 Cheers. 1185 01:26:08,600 --> 01:26:10,610 I love you too, man. 1186 01:26:13,690 --> 01:26:15,610 Gay. 1187 01:26:35,710 --> 01:26:38,010 - Ready? - Ready. 1188 01:26:47,390 --> 01:26:49,650 Section One. Ready. 1189 01:26:49,690 --> 01:26:51,900 Zombies to your front. Fire! 1190 01:26:55,610 --> 01:26:57,110 Fire! 1191 01:27:11,080 --> 01:27:13,590 Oh, my God! Shaun! 1192 01:27:13,710 --> 01:27:15,300 Yvonne? 1193 01:27:19,880 --> 01:27:23,010 - How are you doing? - Surviving. 1194 01:27:23,100 --> 01:27:27,600 They're taking us somewhere safe. I thought you two might want to tag along. 1195 01:27:27,640 --> 01:27:29,810 Is it just the two of you? 1196 01:27:32,310 --> 01:27:35,110 Well, glad somebody made it. 1197 01:27:36,900 --> 01:27:38,900 Come on. 1198 01:27:51,290 --> 01:27:54,590 "Next, the story of ten-year-old Enrique Ramírez 1199 01:27:54,710 --> 01:27:58,510 "who fought off the reanimated corpses of his entire family. 1200 01:27:58,550 --> 01:28:01,840 "It's all coming right up on Zombies From Hell." 1201 01:28:01,880 --> 01:28:06,890 "Six months on and, to many, the events of Z-Day must seem like a bad dream. 1202 01:28:06,930 --> 01:28:10,480 "As we now know, the phenomenon resulted from the use of..." 1203 01:28:10,480 --> 01:28:15,190 "... not something I ever expected as a newscaster to have to say on air. 1204 01:28:15,230 --> 01:28:18,400 "Removing the head or destroying the brain. Incredible." 1205 01:28:18,480 --> 01:28:23,610 "... to have a top band with us, talking about their work for the charity Zombaid..." 1206 01:28:23,700 --> 01:28:27,410 "The fact that the mobile deceased retained their primal instincts 1207 01:28:27,410 --> 01:28:31,000 "make them ideal recruitment for the service industry, 1208 01:28:31,040 --> 01:28:33,210 "as well as other roles such as..." 1209 01:28:34,500 --> 01:28:39,090 "He can't quite get it. Ooh! He's fallen, he's down!" 1210 01:28:39,590 --> 01:28:44,010 "I don't see nothing wrong with it but I know that some people would. 1211 01:28:44,010 --> 01:28:48,390 "But he's my husband, you know. I still love him and I got the ring. 1212 01:28:48,510 --> 01:28:51,850 - "You go to bed with it?" - "Course I do." 1213 01:28:51,890 --> 01:28:55,190 "People can't understand why she's with him?" 1214 01:28:59,980 --> 01:29:05,490 "Initial claims that the virus was caused by infected monkeys have been dismissed..." 1215 01:29:05,610 --> 01:29:07,580 Hello. 1216 01:29:12,710 --> 01:29:14,580 What's the plan, then? 1217 01:29:14,710 --> 01:29:17,460 Right, a cup of tea... 1218 01:29:17,460 --> 01:29:20,210 then we get the Sundays. 1219 01:29:20,300 --> 01:29:22,510 Head down the Phoenix for a roast, 1220 01:29:22,590 --> 01:29:25,090 veg out in the pub for a bit 1221 01:29:25,180 --> 01:29:28,600 then wander home, watch a bit of telly, go to bed. 1222 01:29:28,640 --> 01:29:31,060 - Perfik. - I'll get the kettle on. 1223 01:29:31,100 --> 01:29:34,980 - Can I have two sugars, please? - Ooh! Adventurous. 1224 01:29:35,100 --> 01:29:38,690 - I might pop into the garden for a bit. - Go on, then. 1225 01:29:39,610 --> 01:29:41,610 Two seconds. 1226 01:29:52,080 --> 01:29:54,410 "Player two has entered the game." 1227 01:29:55,290 --> 01:29:56,500 Ed! 1228 01:29:57,305 --> 01:30:57,328 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today